People Break Down The Most Absurd Thing They've Heard From An Overly Religious Person

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Genuine faith can be a beautiful thing, but we all know "that person" who uses religion as an excuse for their bigotry, ignorance, racism, intolerance, etc. Those people spread those ideas and before you know it you've got people who believe Black folk were born Black as punishment for sin.


One Reddit user asked:

What was the most absurd thing you've heard from an overly religious person?

That particular response stood out, but it wasn't the only jaw-droppingly bonkers thing people shared. What's with all the dinosaur hate?

Spineless?

Giphy

"Snakes represent the devil because they are spineless!"

... they are literally JUST a spine...

- no_chugging

Lava

My grandma once told me when I was 7 that because I listen to music a lot, when I die god will punish me by pouring melted lava in my ears. Man that scared the hell out of me at the time.

- DarthOctopus6

That's a very specific punishment. I guess if you're making stuff up about a bogeyman to control children, anything goes...

- karmageddon14

I'd rather chill with Satan if God's like that. At least he has death metal

- [Reddit]

Dinosaurs

Jesus was a Baptist. A SOUTHERN Baptist.

And that there were no dinosaurs. Those quite simply must be misidentified skeletons because:

A) God wouldn't let his perfect creations go extinct

B) the earth is only six thousand years old anyway, therefore

C) those are bones of modern animals that have been twisted, elongated, and reshaped by the process of burial and fossilization, and

D) God would have mentioned them specifically in the Bible so any fossils that can't be explained away by the reasons above are due to God placing intentionally misleading evidence in the fossil record as a test of faith.


I dated a guy who felt that way about dinosaurs. I couldn't believe it so I kept pushing for a reason. Those are the ones he gave me. He at least had the decency to be somewhat embarrassed after I asked because I made a point not to act like I thought he was stupid or crazy.

I was genuinely curious how anyone could come to that conclusion. He eventually asked me to back off as it was a matter of faith for him. I did back off, because he had pretty much admitted it was ridiculous and there was no reason to be abusive or ridiculing. Because this was a belief shared by his mother and several members of his church, even if he didn't believe, he'd never admit it.

So I was kind, but I broke up with him a couple of days later when I realized i had no intention of fighting that kind of wacky to try and build a life with it.

- CatDaddy230

Went to a private southern Baptist school. We once had a special speaker come and teach us how dinosaurs actually lived alongside humans. Used 2 specific bible verses as his proof. I wish I could remember the verses. Best part was the "visual representation", a drawing of humans just chilling while dinosaurs wander thru the village.

- wolvennite42

Back in the day, my granny was considered very liberal because she "believed" in dinosaurs.

- jodiepop3

"Blood Transfusion"

"If you talk to your friends from a different caste, their blood will transfuse into you and kill you."

Told to me at age 9. I didn't buy it. It reeked of bullsht.

Honestly people saying Indians are casteist/sexist/racist ... it is true. But not anymore for the new generation. Even though our parents tried to feed us b.s. like that, because of education and reading about the world, we don't buy it.

At nine, my grandma told me this. Think about why I didn't buy it. As a kid, I learned to question everything and education helped me in that.

Hopefully, the situation changes with us educated Indians. And no, not all of us are that.

- Lachimolala_yunji

She Must Really Hate Black Skateboarders

Giphy

My aunt told me jesus would send skateboarders to hell because its wasted time that could be spent praising the lord. She's an evil witch but never misses church so she thinks that makes her a good person.

She also told me "God turned black people black because they must have done something bad to earn the punishment" .... Yup. She has about 3 brain cells left and they all LOVE Jesus and HATE you.

- commonusername89

She also told me "god turned black people black because they must have done something bad to earn the punishment"

Unfortunately this belief is not all that out there for Christianity. Isn't that the whole thing with Ham and Noah and black people in the bible?

- Self-Aware

Jesus Died For Nothing

That because they accepted Jesus into their heart, they can sin all they want. Then just pray to Jesus for forgiveness at the end of the day and they're all good.

- anonymous_DoDoBeDoDo

Remember, if you don't sin, Jesus died for nothing.

- ChucklesTheGrumpy

Lizard People

"If you pray hard enough God will fix your arm."

My limb won't just grow back, bud. Doesn't work like that.

- Mor-rioghan

Silly Christians, you don't pray to God for limb regeneration, you pray to the lizard people! That's their department

- CoolCat219

teacher in school told us that she'd seen a video of lepers regrowing their limbs through prayer. When we asked if we could watch it then, she didn't seem to have an answer to that.

But then again she was gullible as all get out. She once overheard me saying that I could smell smoke - let me be clear, I couldn't - and that led to her evacuating the room and telling the janitor that it was an electrical smelling smoke from a particular corner of the room despite there being absolutely no smoke.

So I'm convinced she just saw some gnarly old stop motion.

- trowzerss

Oops

"Coronavirus is God's way of punishing homosexuals for their sins"

Now guess what the guy who said that caught shortly after ...

- fraancklyn

LOL now that's hilarious. What an embarrassingly fcking stupid thing to say.

- NormallyAspiratedV12

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