It may have been a while since you've been in school, but we bet if we asked you to tell us about "that one teacher" most of you know EXACTLY who in your life you'd tell us about.
For me, it was a bonkers Latin teacher who was older than dust and had so many anger issues it wasn't even funny.
Buddy creeped on the girls all the time, constantly picked physical fights with the popular boys, and at one point flung a desk and grabbed a student by the throat.
But that wasn't the cingiest. Nay, dear reader. The cringiest thing was the time he commented that he was kind of bummed out that he hadn't fathered an obviously pregnant student's child since "everybody else got a turn."
Someone on Reddit asked:
Whats the cringiest thing a teacher has done at your school?
And it turns out my latin teacher was far from alone in being a creeper, but more importantly that there are about 150 flavors of cringey happening out there, and teachers have mastered them all.
The Hand Dryer
My classroom was next to a girl's bathroom. My teacher would always pause class to go yell at them for using the hand dryers and "disrupting the class", but we knew he was just looking for an excuse to invade their privacy. He would also drop pencils in front of his desk and ask girls to pick them up. He was arrested a couple years later for having porn on his work computer. Not sure where he is now. Hopefully, still in prison.
The Virgin Diaries
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Co-worker told his class he's still a virgin. He's 45.
We had an older, unmarried religious studies teacher who used it as a point of moral pride that she had remained a virgin. Never thought it was appropriate for teachers to be discussing their sex life and/or lack thereof.
- nella20
I'm not sure if ours actually told people she was a virgin, but we all knew. She was in her 50's (or at least looked like it), extremely Catholic, unmarried and still lived at home with her parents.
- amyeh
The Bossa Nova Jingle
We had a substitute music teacher in 5th grade. I have no idea how she was hired but she had very little patience for children and would use the lesson time to rehearse her own projects on the synthesizer but wouldn't let us participate or make any noise at all. So, we would sit on a large U-shaped sofa and watch her play, bored out of our minds.
One day, two of the rowdier kids (a very, very large girl and a much smaller boy) got into a fight while we were sitting on said sofa. The girl threw the boy off the couch and he fell backwards into a very wobbly shelf that was full of old toys, clown wigs and small musical instruments.
This released a domino effect because -unbeknownst to anyone - the synthesizer cord had been tangled up around one of shelf legs. As the shelf and the kid crashed to the floor, the cord got pulled taut, toppling over everything in its way (music stands, plastic chairs etc).
Then the synthesizer violently crashed to the floor, the taut cord tripping the teacher over in the process, making her land butt first, in a very bizarre cross legged position.
As we watched in horror and disbelief, there was a brief moment of silence where all that could be heard was the bossa nova jingle from the synthesizer.
Just Sing
I had this math teacher, Ms. Greene (not her real name) who loved to sing. Her voice was fine, that wasn't the problem. The cringey things she did as a result of that love of singing, though...
When we were learning the quadratic equation, she had us sing it to Adele's Rolling in the Deep, and for the next couple of months, if someone wanted to use the hall pass, they had to sing the quadratic equation to get it.
Then there were the birthdays. If someone had a birthday (and a friend in that class who was enough of a jackass to inform Ms. Greene of said birthday,) Birthday Person was forced to stand in front of the classroom while the class sang Happy Birthday. But not just regular Happy Birthday, oh no. Ms. Greene would divide us into three groups and have us sing it in cannon, which does not sound good.
The ensuing four minutes were spent with the class looking down at their desks, mumbling Happy Birthday. If Ms. Greene didn't think you were singing loud enough, she would lean down, look into your eyes, and sing loudly at your face. Birthday Person looked on in embarrassment and pity.
- Bao-Babe
William and Harry
My time to shine.
First day of sophomore(?) year. Had PE class. Teacher was one of those skinny, tiny old ladies with an unreasonably high amount of energy. She starts class off with, "Hope we're all having a good day today! Well, except for Diana's children!"
This was the day after Princess Di's death.
Listening To Jesus
I went to Catholic school all my life. My Junior year religion teacher was discussing with us the Catholic teaching on sex. I forget how it came up, but she explained that, when having sex with her husband, she'd turn the portrait of Jesus over their bed to face the wall, but she said she could sometimes hear Jesus saying, "Go (her name) go" like he was cheering for her.
Never
My English teacher in secondary school (high school for you Americans) had her husband also work at our school and on Thursdays we had English after lunch. She always showed up to class on Thursdays like 10-15 minutes late and would always have a new stain on her cardigan (she never washed this cardigan apparently because their were at least nearly a 100 of these stains on it).
Another time she told us her fantasy about having the entire New Zealand rugby team run train on her at the same time.
Final one, she strode into class one day grabbed her boobs and announced "breasts, we all have them, we should all get them checked".
She should have never been allowed to teach.
That Boom Ba-doom-boom Bass
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We got a new principal at a small, tightly knit charter school. He was a large, middle aged man who really wanted us to accept and like him. Honestly, it was really hard to. He had an authoritarian approach to an unusually democratic school and seemed inherently inauthentic/disingenuous. One day, he decided to tell us that if we reached these high testing scores, he would dance to Super Bass by Nicki Minaj. We did, because we all thought it would be funny, but the man took it way too far.
He dressed up as Nicki Minaj, wig and feather boa, and it was honestly kinda horrific. He got on a table on all fours, started twerking, gyrating, and it was awful. None of the students or teachers could really look at him the same way. A lot of people said it was the day they lost all respect for the man. It was only a month or so into the year. Most people's first impression was that moment and it was kinda scarring to see.
Everyone had their phone out and I'm pretty sure that it still haunts him (even though it was ten years ago) because he hasn't done anything similar since. I don't remember if anyone cheered, but I do remember the shock my friend's face because she had been sitting at the table he climbed onto and was way too close to his buns, hun.
Tough One
Cleaned the sweat out of my 8th grade mustache during an exam using his finger while saying "tough one, no?"
This wins the award. An 8th grade mustache is nauseating. Someone touching it? And empathizing on the flop sweat. Jesus.
Quite The Journey
Probably cringeworthy by today's standards, but back in 1983 it was pretty cool. Psychology class...yeah, we had one. Taught by Mr. Greenwood, who looked a lot like Charles Manson, but would get pissed off if you said that. Otherwise, he was awesome.
One time, he had us all figure out our "mantras" and then made us meditate for the rest of class. He would bring a record player in on Fridays (yes...records...it was the 80s) and you could bring in your favorite album and he'd play it while we all had a free hour of study (homework for other classes or whatever) on the condition that you had to agree with him that "Wheel In The Sky" by Journey was the greatest rock song ever.
Seriously. In order to get your album on the turntable, you had to stand up in front of the class and say "Wheel In The Sky by Journey is the greatest rock song ever."
He also put on a presentation about how people around the world flipped each other off...with visual examples.
Probably the weirdest and most inappropriate thing he did was have us hallucinate. He set up this experiment where we sat staring at a poster on the wall while a strobe light and sitar-like music played, and the music synced up with the strobe and after about 15 minutes the walls started to...um...fluctuate.
He explained what he was going to do the day before, and looked knowingly into the back row of students and said "whatever you do...don't drop acid before class."
I'm sure some parents would have had a problem with all that.
- gogojack
Safety Scissors
My seventh grade geometry teacher used to unzip her knee high patent leather boots and trim her overgrown leg hair with safety scissors in the back of class. I wish I was joking.
Ew.
Date another teach. Not just because she is 25 years his junior or because she was his student when she was in high school, but also because he's still married and with kids.
Middle Schoolers Don't "Go Potty"
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My Spanish teacher is one of the cringiest teachers I've ever met. She's a good teacher, but she is just so...I can't even describe it.
We were learning about masculine and feminine noun endings, and the day before the lesson, she told us "ok, so get ready for tomorrow, because I am going to teach you how to go potty."
To a group of middle schoolers. To this day, I can't believe she said that.
Serial Home Wrecker
My 12th grade gym teacher was deemed "home wrecker" because she successfully broke up two separate marriages. One was with some guy and the guys son was in my grade and this gym teacher would try to act like a step mom to him while he completely ignored her for obvious reasons. The second was with another gym teacher at the school. She was moving on to her third victim (yet ANOTHER gym teacher) by the time I graduated.
- cswivel
Mr. No Bones
My one math teacher decided to show the class some "real dance moves" this man has been called Mr. NO BONES since.
A Tampon Tantrum
My 8th grade algebra teacher randomly stopped lecturing, walked to her desk, grabbed a tampon out of her desk, and walked out of the room. That's not cringeworthy, and at that point the girls had gotten on to the boys of our grade about making period jokes so none of us even laughed about it we just sat there and started talking while she went about her business.
She gets back in, we all go silent and wait for her to start lecture again, and she just starts going on a rant about how woman have needs and we shouldn't laugh about it. Again, nobody was laughing or even talking about it. This rant went on for the rest of the period, it just went on and on. We had to finish the worksheet she had given us to learn what we needed for the homework for that night... none of us knew what to do because she was venting about her period in front of the class instead of teaching.
Point Made
My white creative writing teacher was reading a rap song a kid had wrote out loud and said everything including the n word multiple times.
He was trying to make a point about how if it is uncomfortable to hear him read it then don't give it to him. He definitely made his point...
Game Time
Not a teacher, but a substitute. Would ignore lesson plans and teach something random. Ended up pulling the fire alarm during a class she had hijacked for games instead of actual lessons because she was up first for charades. Fairly certain she got blacklisted not just from the school district, but the state.
The old wives' tales.
They are the stories of legend.
I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.
Where did they originate?
WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!
You don't hear about them as much anymore.
It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.
But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.
Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:
"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"
"Wait an hour to swim after eating."
What a crock!
So many summer hours wasted.
I want revenge for that one.
Say Nothing
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"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."
LonelyMail5115
"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."
I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA
Say Something
"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."
Severe_Airport1426
"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."
crappycurtains
"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."
AlbinoShavedGorilla
Body Temps
"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."
chriseo22
"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."
"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."
apocalypticradish
Arms Down
"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."
Fatmouse84
10 Years Actually
Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine
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"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."
"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."
Gecko-911
I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.
This tale is haunting.
High/Low
Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace
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"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."
LeastFormal9366
"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."
IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI
The Cursed
"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."
"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."
SmoreOfBabylon
Stay In
"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."
"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."
worldbound0514
Dreams and Facts
"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."
"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."
mattshonestreddit
"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."
Darthdemented
Cracked
Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office
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"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."
Choice-Grapefruit-44
"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."
MacyTmcterry
I love my knuckles.
Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.
