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Nearly everyone lies—whether to get out of trouble, get what they want, or just to escape the awkwardness that can result from telling the truth when someone else only thinks they want to hear it.

Some people take things to extremes, though. Their lies can be so obvious that it's hard to do anything but laugh at the absurdity.


Reddit user cheetozrgud asked r/AskReddit for the most obvious lies they had ever been told, and the subreddit did not disappoint.

"People of reddit, what is the most blatant lie that has ever been told to you?"

1.

We offer a true work/life balance and we're all like one big family here.

-stupidlyugly

"We're all like one big family here" is the subtle way of saying "Conform or be eaten alive."

-Ving_Rhames_Bible

"We have flexible hours"

AKA

"We expect you to come to work at random hours no questions asked or you're fired"

-YoungDiscord

2.

There was a dude I worked nights with at a grocery with who used to tell me about his time spent as a roadie for Pearl Jam, all the deep talks he'd had with Eddie Vedder and how Eddie would go to him for help on songwriting, Eddie always like, "Hey man, what was that riff you were just playing? Would you teach it to me?"

We were both just into our 20s at the time and had went to the same high school, there was no way any of his stories could have possibly been true.

-Ving_Rhames_Bible

3.

"I had 26 confirmed kills in Afghanistan" random dude in his early 20's at a bar, who was talking to my friend and I, and my friend is a veteran of Afghanistan. it didn't end well.

-Makabajones

4.

Giphy

Was in charge of a restaurant with myself and 2 other people there. One them came to me and said money had been taken out of her purse. I went to the other one and asked if she had taken it. She was like "no I would never are you sure you didnt do it." I was just like ok I will watch the tape and then call the gm. She just booked it out the door. I was just going to make her give the money back but man that was wierd.

-neclord84

5.

"Just tell me what you did, I won’t be mad" -Mom

-twomonthsoldtoast

6.

Kid once told me on his way to America on holiday the plane caught fire on both engines and they had to do an emergency landing in a military base. They where then taken to the hotel by "the helicopters with two spinners".

Same kid also told me that his uncle ran over his dad with a tank on accident because he was in the army and they let him take it home.

-beeschurger11

7.

Giphy

When I was about 14, a girl in my class tried to convince my friend group that she had a secret twin attending boarding school in Switzerland and that they were planning on switching places without telling anyone else. She spent the next month counting down to what would be her 'last day' before her twin would take her place. She was genuinely shocked that none of us believed her.

-iamthetrophy

8.

Rumor started in middle school that I stalked this girl. Now, I did have very strong feelings for her but I never stalked her. Rumor spread and it really hurt me, I asked her if she believed it and shed always tell me no. Found out later on that she actually started the rumor. Apparently she didnt like me and wanted to get rid of me, which..ok fair enough but, damn, could've just said something. And now I'm constantly afraid I'm doing something to creep a girl out, or that no one likes me, not even my friends so. Thanks for that, really, its fan-f**king-tastic

-Klown1327

9.

"OK, I just restarted my computer."

No... no you didnt. You paused about 30-45 seconds on the phone so that I would think you turned your PC off. And look task manager says uptime of 45 days.

-TheLightningCount1

10.

Giphy

Woman came into the store saying that the manager would replace her cell phone free of charge. I was the manager.

-probablyhighfrn



Image by Clker-Free-Vector-Images from Pixabay

Have you ever been reading a book, watching a movie, or even sitting down for a fantastical cartoon and began to salivate when the characters dig into some doozy of a made up food?

You're not alone.

Food is apparently fertile ground for creativity. Authors, movie directors, and animators all can't help but put a little extra time and effort into the process of making characters' tasty delights mouthwatering even for audiences on the other side of the screen.

Read on for a perfect mixture of nostalgia and hunger.

AllWhammyNoMorals asked, "What's a fictional food you've always wanted to try?"

Some people were all about the magical foods eaten in the magical places. They couldn't help but wish they could bite into something with fantastical properties and unearthly deliciousness.

Nutritious

"Enchanted golden apple" -- DabbingIsSo2015

"The Minecraft eating sounds make me hungry" -- FishingHobo

"Gotta love that health regeneration" -- r2celjazz

"Pretty sure those are based off the golden apples that grant immortality. Norse mythology I think?" -- Raven_of_Blades

Take Your Pick

"Nearly any food from Charlie and the Chocolate factory" -- CrimsonFox100

"Came here to say snozzberries!" -- Utah_Writer

"Everlasting Gobstoppers #1, but also when they're free to roam near the chocolate river and the entire environment is edible." -- devo9er

Peak Efficiency

"Lembas" -- Roxwords

"The one that fills you with just a bite? My fat a** would be making sandwiches with two lembas breads and putting bacon, avocado and cheese inside. Then probably go for some dessert afterwards. No wonder why those elves are all skinny, eating just one measly bite of this stuff." -- sushister

Some people got stuck on the foods they saw in the cartoons they watched growing up. The vibrant colors, the artistic sounds, and the exaggerated movements all come together to form some good-looking fake grub.

The One and Only

"Krabby patty 🍔" -- Cat_xox

"And a kelp shake" -- titsclitsntennerbits

"As a kid I always pretended burgers from McDonalds were Krabby Patties, heck from time to time I still do for the nostalgia of it all. Many of my friends did the same thing." -- Thisissuchadragtodo

Cheeeeeeeeese

"The pizza from an extremely goofy movie. The stringy cheese just looked magical lol" -- ES_Verified

"The pizza in the old TMNT cartoon as well." -- gate_of_steiner85

"Only bested by the pizza from All Dogs Go to Heaven." -- Purdaddy

Get a Big Old Chunk

"Those giant turkey drumsticks in old cartoons that characters would tear huge chunks out of. Those things looked amazing, turkey drumsticks in real life suck and are annoying to eat."

-- Ozwaldo

Slurp, Slurp, Slurp

"Every bowl of ramen on any anime, ever." -- Cat_xox

"Studio Ghibli eggs and bacon" -- DrManhattan_DDM

"Honestly, any food in anime. I swear to god half the budget no matter what the studio goes into making the food look absolutely delicious." -- Viridun

Finally, some highlighted the things that aren't quite so far-fetched, but still far enough away that it's nothing we'll be eating anytime soon.

That tease can be enough to make your mouth water.

What's In It??

"Butter beer" -- Damn_Dog_Inappropes

"came here to say this. i was pretty disappointed with the universal studio version which was over the top sweet. it was more of a butterscotch root beer. i imagine butter beer to be something more like butter and beer, which wouldn't be crazy sweet, but would have a very deep rich flavor" -- crazyskiingsloth

Slice of the Future

"The microwave pizzas in back to the future two" -- biggiemick91

"I've been fascinated with those for years! They just look so good!" -- skoros

As Sweet As They Had

"The Turkish Delight from Lion Witch & Wardrobe. The real ones I had weren't bad but nothing special." -- spoon_shaped_spoon

"Came here to say this. I know it's a real thing, but I always imagined that it must have been amazing to betray your siblings over." -- la_yes

"You're used to freely available too sweet sweets. For a WW2 era schoolkid, it would have represented all the sweets for an entire year." -- ResponsibleLimeade



Here's hoping you made it through the list without going into kitchen for some snack you didn't actually need.

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