I once had a house guest who insisted on showing my husband her nipples. Yeah... betcha didn't see that opener coming did you?
We call it "The Nipcident" - and it was a week long invasion by the most nipple-obsessed human being I have ever met in my life. She and I became friends kind of by osmosis. We shared no common interests, but she was dating one of my employees and we worked from my home, so she hung out a lot.
Nipple girl was a friend who was supposed to be "just hanging out" one night. It got late, we told her to crash on the couch. Somehow she understood that to mean she lived there now.
Some time around day 4 she decided we were family now and "family doesn't have secrets."
Days 4 and 5 were spent with her casually mentioning how nice it was that we were a body positive household. She had seen that we didn't scold our (very) young daughter for not wanting to wear pants. Days 4 and 5 were also spent casually mentioning how interesting and unique her nipples were and just how shocked our employee was the first time he had seen them.
Day 6 she set up a backdrop and some lighting gear in our living room ("Didn't I mention I'm a photographer?") and proceeded to do a topless photo shoot of herself. It wasn't sexual, definitely a more artsy vibe and the pictures were actually gorgeous ... but a little heads up would have been nice, ya know?
After the shoot she just never put her shirt back on and kept walking back and forth through the house mentioning her inverted nipples. Everyone sort of nodded along pretending to be interested - except my husband. That lead to her literally standing in front of the TV topless trying to get his attention, him standing up and sliiiiiiding her to the side and then sitting back down - and her huffing, stomping, and walking away complaining that he was being rude by not wanting to look.
She left in a huff and complained to our employee about how unwelcoming we were. Employee shrugged it off. Apparently this wasn't the first time "the nipple thing" had been an issue.
Yeah... she wasn't invited back
Reddit user Kenygarry asked:
What is the most annoying thing a Guest has done in your home?
So yeah... lots of people have their own personal "nipcidents" - and as annoying as mine was, it was nothing compared to some of these. At least she didn't poo on my couch and refuse to clean it up. Yup. It's in here.
Enjoy!
Six Days
My best friend wouldn't f*cking leave. When I asked her what her going home plans were after six days, she said "I don't plan my life that way."
We are 30.
- aj4ever
Piggy Bank
My late partner was very sick with leukemia. After over a year of being his 24/7 caregiver I got the opportunity to go abroad for a work trip. My partner insisted I go because I deserved a break from caregiving and that his deadbeat brother would fill in as caregiver while I was gone.
While his brother was staying with in our home, he brought his cat which is a no no for someone who living with zero immune system, did the ABSOLUTE minimum to take care of my partner and left him basically to figure out Meds/food on his own. And the final blow was he stole the big piggy bank that we were using to save for his bucket list vacation before he died. Then denied he did it.
It makes my blood boil thinking about it.
Still Friends
One of my mother's friends is not only a raging alcoholic but is also on ridiculous amount of prescription drugs. One night she was staying with my parents and fell asleep in a leather recliner because of aforementioned alcohol and drugs.
At some point in the middle of the night she sh!t herself, again because of the aforementioned alcohol and drugs, and instead of being a good guest and decent human being and being embarrassed by it and doing her damndest to clean it up, she threw the blanket she was sleeping under over her mess and then went upstairs to sleep in one of the beds. Then she just told my mother about it in the morning and then left.
My mother used bleach and every cleaner under the sun to clean up the mess, and she did, but she ended up just throwing the chair out because how could you ever really look at it the same way again.
The most shocking detail in this story is that my mother is still friends with this lady.
We Didn't Start The Fire ... But The Kid Did.
GiphyA kid whose parents didn't supervise him. He was probably 8 or 9 at the time and would get into ANYTHING - especially stuff computer related. He would dig through drawers and open boxes looking for gadgets to play with. Only to mess them up or lose something.
We finally told the parents they couldn't bring him back when he got into the kitchen and turned on the glass top stove while a pizza box was on it. Started a small, quickly extinguished fire and the house smelled like smoke for about a week.
Cat Killer
Had a friend ask to spend a few weeks, 3 weeks to be precise, at my parents house where I also live. A year and a half later we finally kicked him out. Didn't pay rent or buy groceries and he brought his dog with him that after 8 months of living with us, killed my cat. I have to stop now because typing this is making me very angry. He also never bought dog food for HIS dog and my mom ended buying almost all of it. Now he wonders why we don't hang out.
Interior Design
I was at work all day and I always close my door before leaving, ALWAYS. My mum had guests over and decided "hey, let's show the guests everyone's rooms and all the rooms in the house in general." Well, one lady, whom I had never met, didn't like how I arranged MY room, so while everyone was at dinner (I work from 11:30 am to about 9 pm, 6 days a week, so I wasn't there when this happened), she went into my room and rearranged my desk, the clothes in my drawers and closet, all my pictures, and threw out some knick knacks that were given to me by old friends but she thought were 'trash' I 'hadn't thrown out yet'.
I. Was. PISSED.
She totally admitted it, but didn't seem to feel bad at all. My mum was upset too, but not as much as me. They're no longer friends but I'm not sure why, probably because she threw out some of my mum's knick knacks as well.
Vehicular Rudeness
I don't have many rules for passengers when I'm driving but there are two I will never budge on.
1: Wear your seat belt.
2: Do not smoke in my car.
I had just bought a car, it wasn't brand new but I knew the previous (and only) owner and I knew he was a car guy who took meticulous care of his cars inside and out. He wouldn't even sell me the car before he had given the engine a proper service. Within a week of getting the car a friend asked for a lift to the train station, I knew he smoked so as we walked to the car I told him specifically to wait until we get to the station before he lights up (a 10 minute ride at most).
I back out of the parking spot, drive to the exit of the parking lot and as I check my left hand side for oncoming cars I hear from my right the distinctive sound of a lighter sparking up. Dude could not even wait until we were out of the f*cking car park before he just had to have his goddamn cigarette. I ask him what the hell he thinks he's doing and he just looks at me and says "Relax, it's not like it's a new car." He ended up walking to the train station.
There Are Bathrooms For That
I had a guest that would walk around the house while she was brushing her teeth which was no big deal. The problem was when she was done she'd use the nearest sink to spit and rinse her mouth out which was often the kitchen sink that had dishes soaking in it.
And she clipped her toenails at the dinner table.
Open House
GiphyLate Realtor here. But you wouldn't imagine how many people come to your open house from 2-4 on a Saturday and take a massive, violent, vile, disgusting sh!t in the bathroom of another person's home and then leave. No turning on of fan. No thank you. Just make the house smell like a sewer for the rest of the day.
RIP, Fish
After being told not to smoke in the house, my wife's uncle had a few drinks and passed out in the bed in our guest room with a lit cigarette in his hand. My wife and were downstairs, smelled the smoke, and ran up to find that the mattress was on fire...so, my wife dragged her uncle off the bed, I grabbed the fish tank in the room, and dumped it's contents on the bed to put out the fire.
Thankfully, though the mattress was destroyed and we had to buy a new mattress and bed linens...the only casualties were the fish in the tank.
As well, we were also lucky enough that the floor in that room had no carpet so clean up wasn't too bad. After the incident was over / fire was out, my wife's uncle was actually upset that we told him he had to sleep on the couch (since he had destroyed the bed) and my wife took his cigarettes and keys (so he couldn't go buy more) away from him and said she'd give them back when he got up the next morning. He has not stayed with us since.
Grand Tour
Asked for a "tour." Homie we're in the kitchen, you can see the bathroom where I cry, that room with the couch is where I live, the room with the bed is where I eat my meals and spend my days. End of tour.
- gpoopit
Just For The Weekend
We have a "friend" in his mid 40s. Dude is a sht show, cannot get his life together, has pissed away so many great jobs for stupid reasons, and is a womanizer and misogynist. Mostly only called "friend" because we've all known each other since we were teens. But we all grew up, he didn't.
Anyway, about 3 years ago, he showed up after having moved away a while wanting to crash "for the weekend" to catch up with old friends. So we said ok, no big deal. That weekend turned into 6 months. He ate our food, used my kids toiletries, expected us to buy dog food for his dog, put his nasty muddy clothes in my washer, sprayed on enough cologne to choke an army, borrowed my husband's car and left it on empty multiple times, stacked his dirty shit all over my house, used my kids' phones to call random people, gave out my number to reach him, and basically just completely took advantage. I am way too nice and hubs is even nicer. We put up with his shit til I flipped the b!tch switch and told him to go.
But wait, is not over. About a year later, he's right back in his same sh!t hole situation. Begs my husband to let him just stay "the weekend" again. Hubs being the nice guy here is, brings him here. This time I lost it on him after about 2 months.
But wait, there's more! About 2 weeks ago, he shows up with some gal we've never met wanting us to let them BOTH stay here. Ummm, no. I don't know her, I have kids to worry about, and I have earned my shit and don't want to take a chance on getting it stolen in the night. Go on down the road, I know how this story ends and I'm not willing to play along any more. I'm sure he's told everyone we know how mean I am but I don't even care.
- eveban
Shoulder Punch
I had a friend who would always punch me on the shoulder. Every time we saw each other; punch on the shoulder. At school. At parties. Meeting up with friends. Punch on the shoulder. Nothing wrong with it except he hit really hard. Like it really hurt to the point where I would try to avoid him.
And while I could've just told him to stop, I was a really quiet guy. So one day he shows up at my house party. He does it again. Punch on the shoulder. So I do it back but lightly.
Guess what he does. He comes back with an even harder punch to my shoulder. So I throw one back hard. Then he does it again but this time at my face. I take it, but then I jump on him and start pounding until people pull us apart.
Kicked his butt out and never saw him again. No one felt bad for him though. Turns out he did it to everybody else too.
Even his ex girlfriend who still hanged out with us said she would leave their dates with bruises and that why she dumped him.
A Snail Problem
GiphyMy cousin visited and stayed with us for two weeks. During this time we kept finding these snail trails on the walls, the banister by the stairs, the arms of our couches, etc. My mom even called an exterminator to help get rid of this snail or slug problem we suddenly had. Turns out it was my cousin blowing her nose on her hands and smearing it on any surface that was close by.
Uber Eats
Ordered food delivery without asking me. I dont know why but it offended the shit out of me at the time. Like, the doorbell just rings and I have no idea who it is, and my friend who was visiting me pays the Uber Eats guy for some takeout. I thought it was totally rude, but I guess we were just raised in different homes.
Terrible Aim
Pissed on the floor and did not cleaned it up afterwards. Repeatedly. It became so routine that I eventually began calling people out about it when it happened, and narrowed it down to two people. Now if it happens I berate them in front of everyone else in our house.
If you're going to suggest I am being harsh, we're all in our 30's now. If you're so disrespectful that you can't even clean up your own piss you leave in someone else's house, you're the a$$hole. Not me.
Roommate's Dad
When I was in college, my dorm roommate's dad came by. He lived fairly close, so he was in the dorm pretty regularly. I was not in the dorm at that moment on this particular occasion. While I was gone, he cleaned and organized my entire side of the room.
Including my underwear and stuff.
I got back really late that night and kept the lights dim as I got into bed because my roommate was already asleep. I rolled out of bed just before I had to leave for my first class the next morning, and I ended up late because I couldn't find any of my shit. None of it was where it was supposed to be.
- goloons
As the saying goes, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it."
Nonetheless, several brands and businesses will sometimes make noticeable changes, be it to reach a wider audience, or simply to shake things up a bit.
In some cases, the effort pays off, like Dunkin' Donuts, who decided to stretch beyond simply selling doughnuts and coffee, eventually even dropping the "Donuts" from their name, but losing none of their popularity.
Other times, things don't go as smoothly, such as when IHOP (an acronym for the International House of Pancakes) temporarily changed its name to IHOB (International House of Burgers), which turned out to be nothing but a weeklong publicity stunt, but was met with anger and vitriol from it's fanbase during that controversial week.
Redditor Fflewddur_Fflam_ was curious to hear what other brands the Reddit community thought betrayed their core audience to disastrous results, leading them to ask:
"Who abandoned their core audience and paid the price for it?"
Humans Are Technically Animals...
"Animal Planet."
"Their tagline became 'surprisingly human.'"
"Nobody wants to watch ANIMAL Planet for people."
"They have other channels."- rainbirdmelody
You Could Say Their Mission Slipped Through The "Cracks"...
"Cracked.com."
"There were a couple years there where they transformed from a second rate Mad knockoff to some of the smartest, funniest stuff on the internet."
"Then the people who held the purse strings decided listicles and photoshop contests were more profitable than a writing staff."- MichaelMyersResple
"StumbleUpon."
"It was a small website giving you randomized internet pages which I used to browse for hours as they were so fun."
"Now it turned into Mix and I have no clue what it is."
"Pretty sure no one uses it and it makes me sad."- MightyDaisy
Working On It GIF by KAT BALLGiphyLess Handcrafted, More Hand-Me-Down
"Etsy."
'Used to be a fairly cool place to buy and sell mostly handcrafted stuff and items to make handcrafted stuff."
"Now it's basically shady Amazon with worse shipping."
"Everyone seems to be drop shippers and a lot of the more niche crafter/artisan things are pushed out and overwhelmed by cheaper, mass produced goods."- THIS_IS_MY_JOYSTICK
The Dreaded Paywall...
"Photobucket!"
"Back when forums were still a thing, Photobucket would host your images for free."
"Then one day they decided EVERYONE would have to pay monthly, no free tier, nothing."
"We all collectively agreed we would not be paying, and that was that."
"I feel like it may have contributed to the death of forums."
"Ruined a few of my car build threads, that's for sure."
"To this day they still send me emails a couple times a year threatening to delete all my photos if I don't come back."-pr0b0ner
Arguably, All For The Best?...
"Yik Yak."
"It was a way to have conversations with people in the area anonymously (really popular on college campuses)."
"They made an update to create user profiles and pretty much everyone just stopped using it because anonymity was the whole point."- Fakjbf
episode 16 moe GIFGiphyChocolate Lovers Revolt!
"This is incredibly niche, but in Norway there used to be two providers of chocolate powder, the kind you mix with hot or cold milk to make hot chocolate or chocolate milk."
"They were O'Boy brand and Nesquik, equally loved and enjoyed a healthy fanbase 'rivalry'."
"O'Boy is a Swedish product sold in Scandinavia and the Baltics since the 50s, Nesquik is of course Nestlé brand and sold all over the world."
"Sometime in the 2010s Nesquik decided to change the formula of the choco powder."
"I imagine to save money."
"And for making hot chocolate the new recipe was fine."
"What Nestlé underestimated, however, is that most Scandinavians drink their choco powder cold to make chocolate milk."
"The new recipe had a different type of sugar in it that wouldn't dissolve in cold milk, leaving a crunchy powder in the milk."
"Norwegians outraged, Nesquik was deemed useless, nearly everyone in the Nesquik camp migrated to O'Boy, and Nestlé lost almost all its market share overnight."
"A few months later, Nesquik is gone from the shelves nearly everywhere, never to recover from the blunder."- -Yngin-
Tornados Filled With Sharks Are Not For Everyone...
"Sci-Fi Channel."
"At some point there was no sci-fi on it."- AlienBeingMe
Tara Reid Storm GIF by SYFYGiphyNot Everyone Can Keep Up With The Times...
"RadioShack."
"They went from selling electronic components, little gadgets, and interesting tech bobbles to nerds to trying to sell expensive cell phone plans and sh*tty batteries to a different audience."
"We saw that the customers who came to RadioShack shifted from middle/upper-income engineers and tech geeks to lower income people in a six year period."
"Then we saw the geeks stop coming in at all because they would come in for some capacitor or breadboard, and the person there wouldn't know what that was."
"If it wasn't a phone, they didn't know."
"Even if it was a phone, they probably couldn't tell you anything about it."
"Old RadioShack employees were knowledgeable and well paid."
"New RadioShack employees didn't give a sh*t about technology."- 001235
Seems FittingThat Their Old Audience Is "History"...
"Anyone else remember when The History Channel was about history and not about aliens?"- rienjabura
Found Footage Video GIF by Eternal FamilyGiphyThere's A Reason They're Not So Well Known For Their Food...
"Every restaurant that opens in the UK goes through the cycle:"
"New and interesting food."
"Very different from most British food."
"Becomes very popular."
"Owners sell to a large company."
"Large company decides that being popular isn't enough, they want everybody to eat there."
"Make the food more British."
"Looming failure is hidden for a while because they attract new customers at exactly the rate they lose old customers."
"New customers have tried it, realize they can get that food anywhere, stop going."
"Chain closes and is replaced by a Greggs or Nandos, depending on the size of the location (not dependent on how far away the nearest Greggs or Nandos is."- skztr
Money Doesn't Solve Everything
"Quora."
"There were excellent groups with intelligent discussions."
"Then it became monetized and people submitted 100s of questions a day."
"'What time does the Walmart close in Boise?'" "
"'My 16 yr old came home with an A- so I took away their phone for 6 months'."- JanuarySoCold
Bored Sales GIF by EGiphySuccess can be a very dangerous thing.
As it can make you think about nothing but getting bigger, often resulting in your leaving people behind along the way.
A cautionary tale for young entrepreneurs.
What makes someone a 10?
It ain't all about looks, baby.
Looks are fine.
But charisma is everything.
There are a ton of ingredients that make up attractive, though.
That's why it's good to know your strengths.
Redditor Overall_Wish_912 wanted to hear about how hot everybody thinks they are and why, so they asked:
"What is the most attractive thing about you?"
I think my eyes sell the whole package.
Light blue with a slight dusting of gold.
Connections
Yoga Anatomy GIF by YOGABODYGiphy"More than a few radiologists over the years have told me I have nice connective tissues, ligaments in particular. Makes a fella kinda proud."
Southern_Snowshoe
Lashed
"I have exceptionally long and beautiful eyelashes. I’m working on my flutter. I’m also a guy."
bleepbloopmunchmunch
"I get complimented on my eyelashes too as a guy! Women often tell me they’re jealous. I never had a clue that was something women noticed until I reached college/university."
EasterButterfly
"I started getting compliments in high school. I remember freshman year, I was sitting at a round table and this really cute girl at the table just randomly asked me to close my eyes. I thought it was weird, but I did. Then she told her equally cute friend to look at my eyelashes, that they were so long and pretty like a girl's. At the time I wasn't sure if they were being nice or making fun of me (since they compared them to girl's lashes). I now get the compliment, though, and appreciate it."
DesertRat012
Beauty
"I'm not totally hideous, but easily the most attractive thing about me is my kindness. I hear all the time that people are just magically drawn to me/feel comfortable with me/like being around me. I'm charming, I guess."
StrangersWithAndi
"That’s such a good quality."
Overall_Wish_912
Look Up
"I'm 6'2 and the internet tells me that's like the most incredible and attractive thing ever apparently."
ConflictFast8743
"I’m 6’6 and wish I was shorter. My long-term girlfriend tells me I get checked out all the time but I literally never notice, I’d give up all the attention if it meant I’d never hit my head on a doorframe again."
CaptainLongshorts
"I'm only 6', but a woman and I have a 36' inseam. I love having long legs, they walk so fast and are my favorite physical feature!"
abqkat
Light as a Feather
the office therapy GIFGiphy"My therapist said I’m a good egg, so there’s that."
CheddarBurgers
"Mine told me she never feels heavy when I leave her office. We’ve talked about some heavy sh*t so I took it as a compliment."
random_username3184
Not being the scariest and worst patient is definitely a gold star moment for the mind.
Perfect
Regular Season Sport GIF by MLBGiphy"I’ve been told I have the most perfectly shaped head for a bald man."
KilnMeSmallz
"My dermatologist recently told me I had a great shaped head if I were to ever shave my hair off. It really got me thinking."
Weeziir
For the Boys
"The only attractive thing about me is my hair. Even that is debatable since most women don't like men with long hair."
SlayzorHunter
"Haha for me it’s my bald head! I look a million times better without hair than with it even when my hairline wasn’t balding that bad. I think the pics of me at 28-30 I look better than my 18-25 pics."
OkSwitch470
"Some men just have the cranial and facial structures that make them look better with bald head. I shave my head every 3 years, so I know how I look with every single hair length there is. It only starts looking decent after at least 9 months of growth."
SlayzorHunter
Share With Me
"I'm very nonjudgemental; it's amazing the things people will share with me!"
PeterGivenbless
"Same. I've had people share some pretty personal things with me soon after meeting them."
Krissyfox_7
"Yup, same. I have 'tell me all your secrets' stamped on my forehead. I do like it, though. Nice to get to know who people actually are and what they’ve been through, as opposed to the robotic small talk. Makes me happy that people see me as a 'safe' person."
East_Satisfaction242
Streaks
"I have bright blue eyes that get me plenty of compliments. The only other thing that gets close is my beard, and now especially the silver streaks lacing it."
fuqaduck
"The Silver helps. I was accused of dying it to look more dignified by a coworker, which was puzzling. Not quite a compliment, but compliment adjacent I guess."
604Ataraxia
The Nuzzle
"My long nose, it’s perfect for nuzzling the bean while dining out 🤤."
sussyboingus
"I had an out-of-the-blue compliment about my nose. A woman approached me and said I had an envied Roman nose. Noticing my confusion, she explained she was an art historian, and my nose was in the mold of Roman marble statutes. I've never heard another compliment about my nose, so who knows."
TWH_PDX
The Body
The Simpsons Dance GIFGiphy"I’m short but I have a very nice figure. I get complimented for my butt a lot. I’m 5’2." I like attention so I don’t mind the compliments for the most part. I don’t get bothered by that as easily as some people do. But I have no respect for men that complement my body when they’re in relationships."
DrWiskers
Well, there are a lot of definitions for attractive.
Thank goodness.
