People Break Down The Most Absurd Baby Names They've Ever Heard

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The best part of having children? You can name them anything!

The worst part of dealing with anybody's children...their parents can name their child anything.

Sometimes you stare down at a list of names and see a name that you can't help but gape at. Is that SERIOUSLY this child's name? Oh no...


u/hwbaiqkqj asked:

What is the most absurd baby name you have heard?

Here were some of those answers.

Clurt

I had a neighbor named Clurtis.

Realistic-Ask7644

I just woke up my husband from laughing so hard lol CLURTIS lmao

kellywithayy

All of the names on here are either urban legends, or things that famous people named their kids. Yours is hands down the best. It's both believable yet hilarious. I'm so curious to know where one comes up with the name Clurtis. Was the root Cletus or Curtis or both? It's amazing.

kloiberin_time

Danger Is My Middle Name.  No....Really

Used to work in a military post partum ward. First name Chaos, middle name Danger.

njry

On the upside his bedroom would be the Danger Zone.

-Xero77

Just Can't Get You Out Of My Head

Once knew a woman who was utterly obsessed with Kylie Minogue. When she got pregnant there was only one name for her child. Big day arrived, and she gave birth to a beautiful boy. We all thought that was the end of Kylie, but no. She named him Kai-Lee.

maybelleandthecat

Next Will Be Zoom

At my kids elementary school, the teachers would decorate the outside door to their room with their students names. One kindergarten teacher had an interesting mix of names one year, most notably: September, Florida, and Skype. SKYPE. Someone named their kid Skype.

ManateeFlamingo

Shanda

Friend of a former colleague named their child Neil, which would have been fine if their surname wasn't Down.

rosiedoes

At the rival high school was a girl named Crystal. No big deal. Last name Lear. Still fine. Middle name: Shanda.

Flahdagal

Third Third Third

Thirdy. At first I thought it was a foreign name, but nope, they named their baby Thirdy because he was the third child.

Flutterby27

Didn't Jacob Rees-Mogg name his 6th child Sextus? Poor kid, what do you even shorten that too?

Pandaspooppopcorn

Actually it was Sixtus, not that that's much better.

His kids are named Sixtus Dominic Boniface Christopher, Alfred Wulfric Leyson Pius, Anselm Charles Fitzwilliam, Thomas Wentworth Somerset Dunston, Peter Theodore Alphege, and Mary Anne Charlotte Emma. His daughter really got lucky with the naming lol

HandLion

And I Oop

In elementary school I had a friend named Adam.

That was, until a Substitute teacher in the 5th grade obviously didn't read the notes left for him and when he took attendance, he called out Richard. We didn't have a Richard in our class. Or so we thought. Adam sheepishly put up his hand and said "I go by Adam".

His last name is Head.

It became quite obvious why he went by Adam.

Turns out Richard is a family name. He's actually Richard Head the 11th or so.

Zenmedic

We Got Fancy

A friend liked the name Cassidy but thought it was too basic... So she named her daughter M'Cassidine. She was 15. We arent friends anymore so i wonder how M'Cassadine is doing... She was a beautiful baby tho.

silver_eucalyptus

Lucy Juicy Pudding Pie

My school vice principal was called Lucy Lamb. Not the worst, but you can't take someone seriously with such a cartoony name.

I just realised she was married, so assuming she took her husband's name her parents didn't intend to call her Lucy Lamb.

Flutterby27

Pan Pacifica

A relative of mine had a job many years ago that involved meeting loads of people from southern pacific islands. Apparently it was the in thing to use English words as names because they sounded cool, or looked posh. One guy was called Pan Pacific Conference. Swear to god.

PS. Pan Pacific Conference, if you're on reddit and you read this, know that I've never forgotten your name, and still think it's the most awesome name ever.

castrahiberna

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