When women become mothers, they unlock an innate ability to know everything their child is up to at all times, or so the stories go. Kids, get with the program: You can't hide anything from mom. It's just not possible, as these mothers can attest.'
(1/25)
When learning a new word, our 18 month old runs into the kitchen (away from us so we can't see him) and practices sounding out the word, thinking that we can't hear him. Then he comes back into the family room to delivery the final product.
(2/25)
My coworker found out her 12 year old son was looking at porn on the family computer when his friends were over. She made her husband go talk to him about it. Dad walked into his bedroom, sat down on his bed, and said only
"Your mother knows."
Kid just quietly muttered "oh my god. "
Never had a problem again. Coworker was dying bc he was just typing stuff like "boobs.com" and hoping to strike gold. Kinda sweet.
(3/25)
My 16yr old son watches porn. If you are sitting in bed, laptop on your lap, think about how the screen might reflect off the picture behind you! Geez... At least close the tab when i come in the room...
(4/25)
My 9 year old pretends to go right to sleep when I put her in bed but a soon as I shut her door, I hear the bedside lamp click on and her nightstand drawer open so she can pull out her stashed book(s) and read. I can't be mad. She loves to read and I can't discourage that. So every night I go check on her before I go to bed and put away her book and turn off her light. She has to know it's me doing that but she has never said a word.
(5/25)
I can hear my four year old son walking down the hall when he's supposed to be in bed because he walks like a dinosaur.
(6/25)
I set alarms for the morning on the amazon echo. When I leave the room my daughter cancels them and I hear her snicker "no school tomorrow haha". What she doesn't realize is I also have an alarm clock and my phone. She's five.
(7/25)
My niece(4) is obsessed with rocks. She had an extensive rock collection that my brother and I helped build. when her little sister(2) swallowed a rock from it her parents made her throw out the entire collection. She threw it out and when they weren't looking she got it back out. She keeps it hidden in her closet and i only know about it because i found her playing with it once while babysitting.
(8/25)
My five year old crawls into my bedroom and slides my phone off my night table Saturday mornings. She sneaks into her closet to watch YouTube. She's not allowed to watch YouTube but that extra hour of sleep is glorious. My SO and I act shocked and appalled when one of us finally goes to her closet and 'finds her'.
(9/25)
I know that he's watching YouTube videos about minecraft on his phone when he's supposed to be sleeping. I make a bit of noise in the hallway an hour after bedtime, and listen for the sound of him putting his phone away, then ten minutes later there's undeniable sounds of sleep breathing. I don't wanna always "catch" him. He needs to be able to get away with some things.
(10/25)
My son doesn't eat the sandwiches I make him for lunch at school. He just throws them away and eats the chips and cookie.
(11/25)
My 6 year old has a secret doodle pad that he draws in at bed time. I can hear his lamp click on when he sneaks drawing time in. He will never get in trouble for it.
(12/25)
Giphy
I know that I walked in on my then 13yo son masturbating. but I let him believe he was stealthy enough that I didn't notice.
(13/25)
I have a three year old and every morning she comes into my room and crawls in bed with me for another 30 minutes before we get up. She has started doing this new thing where when I fall back asleep she will kiss my cheek and tell me how much she loves me. It's a small thing but I love that she does this even though she thinks I'm asleep.
There are a lot of hard things about being a parent and having to wake up early with a toddler but her sweet little voice telling me, "I love you so much mommy" makes it all worth it.
Also, sometimes she will bring me a stuffed animal to cuddle with too.
(14/25)
I know my 13 year old daughter takes an Uber to school when it's raining or when she is running late. She doesn't realise her Uber account is connected to my credit card and she must think the Uber fairy pays for it.
(15/25)
My three year old daughter doesn't understand whispering to herself isn't the same as thinking in your head, she loves to call people idiots to herself and giggle not knowing we can all actually hear her.
(16/25)
When my 9 year old is in the shower forever, I know it's because she's trying to hide the fact that she's crying because she misses her dad. It's been almost 3 months since he died, and she's still getting used to the fact that he's gone.
(17/25)
My daughter used to do this. "eat a cookie" and ask for another.
I found hundreds of cookies squirreled around various drawers and inside toys and under her bed.
She must have died in the great depression in a past life or something.
(18/25)
Giphy
I know his hiding spot for hide and seek. I know exactly where he is. Hell, I can see him; behind the stroller isn't the greatest cover. I can hear him too, as he answers my exaggerated "Are you behind the couch?!??!?" with "No!"
But I'll still look for him everywhere, until he creeps out and shouts "BOO", so I can gasp and be ever-so-surprised.
Because toddlers can be fun, if you play along.
(19/25)
Have a daughter in college. Her first summer back home I went to wash all of her clothes she brought back (as a college girl, it was at least 4 loads), as I sorted her clothes before washing them out tumbled butt-plugs wrapped in a bag.
So I carefully wrapped them back up and slid them back into her things.
(20/25)
My eldest stepdaughter, 14, borrows my clothes and returns them to my closet when she's done wearing them. Not that big of a deal, but I really wish she'd ask. She goes to great length to deny that she likes my style of clothing...She will hide them in her bookbag and change in the bathroom at school. I've tried buying her similar styles in her own size (she's a medium, I'm a large/xl) but she still always goes right back to mine. I'm honored that she likes my style, even if it's in secret, and hope that one day we can use this as a bonding experience.
My eldest son, 13, still sleeps with his plush Dalek at night. He waits until his brother (they share a room) goes to sleep, then gets it out of the top of the closet and sleeps with it, and returns it to its place in the morning. I hope he never grows out of loving something so dearly that he just can't part with it.
My middle stepdaughter, 11, and youngest daughter, 10, are full on pissed that they weren't born as twins. Seriously angry about it. So, they created their own "not-twin-twin club" and have their own secret language. The scary part is that they actually ACT like twins sometimes, to the point that if one of them is upset or hurt, the other knows about it without even being there. I hope they are always this close and share that special bond.
My youngest stepson, 9, leaves treasures for the rest of the kids to find. He has no clue that everyone in the house knows it's him because he isn't the least bit sneaky lol. He will find a pretty rock shaped like a heart and leave it for one of the girls or find an interesting looking old coin and leave it for his brother, sometimes he'll stumble across a discarded marble or something similar and leave it for his father and I. He swears it's the backward pirate that does it. I love that he has such a giving heart and hope he continues doing for others with no particular reason in mind other than to see them smile.
(21/25)
When she was three, my oldest thought if she couldn't see us, we couldn't see her. She would cover her eyes then try to sneak into the kitchen for snacks. I let it go on (other than watching to make sure she didn't fall) mostly because it was hilarious.
(22/25)
I do my kids laundry still, I went into her room while she was at school one day to grab her laundry and I found a note mixed in with her clothes it was a confession about liking girls to her best friend and to scared to tell anyone. Not going to lie and say I wasn't shocked ,she played it off amazing that she was into boys. I didn't share what I found with her or anyone else and a year later she came out to me and a few other people. I honestly struggled containing myself for that whole year waiting for the day I could just tell her I love and accept her for who she is and not to date crappy girls. For Christmas she asked me for pride stuff, I got it and she opened it in front of everyone in the family who had no idea so she could come out to them. I think she was more shocked that all the guys were just giving her the red flags of crazy women talk and not judging her.
(23/25)
My 17 y/o son copped to sneaking beer but I know it was my other (13 y/o) son. I don't say anything because the other 23.5 hours of the day my oldest is a complete a-hole and picks on his younger brother constantly. I secretly enjoy the fact that he is in trouble because he is such an a-hole all of the time.
(24/25)
I know that my nearly 14 year old daughter is inarguably gay. I don't know if she recalls, but when she was much, much younger she used to ask me questions like "What if I want to have a baby but I don't want to have a husband?" Of course, at the time, I just thought it was funny. But as she has aged it's become more and more obvious that boys are of no interest to her.
I've tested the waters once or twice to see if she may be ready to talk about it yet. She didn't engage so I have never pressed further than casual conversation.
My only fear is that she is holding on to a secret because she worries about how we may react. I can't bear the thought of her carrying something like that.
I like to think maybe SHE hasn't figured it out yet and that's why she hasn't brought it up, since we otherwise have a very open relationship.
Either way, I know. I think maybe Mom's always know. And I also know she is going to make one lucky girl very, very happy one day.
(25/25)
When my 20 month old is grunting and her face turns red, and I ask rhetorically, "are you pooping". She gets upset and shakes her head "no".
I say, "you should sit on the toilet". She runs away so she doesn't have to sit on the toilet.
But the kid loves sitting on the toilet when she doesn't have to go?!
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
Giphy
Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
Giphy
See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
homer simpson episode 23 GIF
Giphy
Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
Giphy
Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
Disney World GIF
Giphy
The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.