People Share Rock Bottom Moments Where They Decided To Make A Change For The Better
Life can get the better of us sometimes, and it often takes a pretty extreme situation to help us realize it's time to make a change.
Humans are creatures of habit; we sometimes need a different perspective or major situation to help us see our lives how they really are.
*Content Warning: this article contains mentions of suicide, substance use, and abuse*
Reddit user u/oddsalamander asked:
"At what point did you look at yourself or your life and think 'I really need to make a change'?"
10.
I was in a really bad spot in life, beginning to wonder what the point of it all was but realizing my thinking was getting a bit dangerous. I went through my text messages to find someone to try to talk things through with and realized I didn't have a single person I could reach out to for help anymore. All of my text messages for the three years I had my new phone had been work related. It made me realize that I wasn't doing anyone any favors killing myself with a job. You have to learn to balance things or you'll lose everything that makes life worth living in the first place.
9.
After the mother of my child cheated on me and left me with full custody I was not about to let her feel like she got the better deal by leaving. So I got on anti depressants and made such intense lifestyle changes that I was among the most toned and appropriately muscular people I knew. Along with that I finished my undergrad and now am nearly finished the equivalent of a masters degree, all while raising our kid without her. It all comes from that point of thinking "I want you to regret robbing my child of a mother". Revenge bod is good but I went full revenge life on her.
8.
First time: When I woke up naked, in a backyard koi pond, in a neighborhood I had never been in, without any belongings.
Shortly after the koi pond incident: Woke up in the middle of the woods. Luckily found my cell phone nearby. Friend figured out where I was and came to get me. Both times I ended up in a place without my car. Finding it was tough.
I quit doing drugs and stopped drinking after that and got help for my CPTSD. I tell people that I was lucky that I didn't end up dead in a ditch somewhere. They think I'm joking...but I'm not. Childhood trauma will try and kill you as an adult.
7.
The day my now ex-husband and I started a verbal argument and I saw that each of my three kids had picked up something to use as a weapon to defend me, in case he got rough with me. That broke my heart and I knew it was time for a change.
6.
I was working in a restaurant and they were rolling out this fancy new menu so for 2 weeks they had us all come in every evening to try the food with wine pairings. I'm not sure how it happened exactly but we ended up taking the excuse to all go out together after. So for 2 weeks we had our tastings and then went and partied together.
Before then my whole world was the guy I was dating and the friends we shared. These two weeks messed my head up real bad. People were nice to me, they wanted me around, they wanted me to participate. They laughed at jokes and sincerely listened if the chats got serious.
They were essentially strangers and they treated me better than anyone in my life ever had. And my god... I was happy. Do you have any idea what it feels like to realize what happiness truly feels like? When you haven't felt it in years?
2 weeks later I left my bf at the time. My "friends" decided that made me a bad person. So I cut them out too. I cut out my family as well, cause screw being their scapegoat.
I didn't just jump to the new friends either. I'm now married to one, and another I call my "music mom" but I didn't jump right in to it. I had finally realized I hated myself and that was wrong. I went all on hermit for a bit and got therapy and got my life together.
Then I rebuilt, and even though you can't escape struggles or the the mental illnesses I have my life is infinitely better. It's not even worth comparing.
5.
I woke up naked in a bathtub. Not knowing how I got home, how I got naked, or why the shower was running and pleading with myself. "I dont want to be my parents."
I called the suicide hotline, told them. I am not suicidal but I cannot control my own thoughts. They gave me a list of resources for help in my area and the next morning I called every one. One of them was a non profit and wouldnt cost me much since it was sliding scale fee. I had to get an evaluation done, but in the past I always lied or hid information. I told myself, "not this time." I told them everything.
All the abuse I suffered as a child, physical, mental. The failed murder of myself by my biological grandfather on my mom's side. And more. Spared no details. An hour evaluation turned into 3.5 hours. I was Diagnosised with PTSD and that therapy changed my life. Sure I screwed up a bunch of stuff. But I am much happier now and still mess up. Just not as badly.
4.
At a Denny's.
Late at night I was there with a girl I was pursuing and her friends. One of which sent back a bagel several times for not being toasted enough then being too toasted then being white bread then being not white bread.
The group was about 7 including myself. While the girl I was pursuing was amazing herself her friends were obnoxious but I had typically chalked that up to being youthful, it takes all types, various other excuses, but that bagel situation made the scales from my eyes fall away.
I was suddenly aware of just how loud our group was, how the servers avoided us, how rude the group was openly and loudly complaining of "such bad service." I started evaluating what it was I was doing and if this was a path I wanted to go down.
I gradually faded out of the girls life, I didn't want to be confrontational and don't think it's right to use ultimatums of "your friends or me" at that time.
There was another more personal experience that happened a bit later that only further confirmed my decision was the right one.
3.
I had to crawl literally crawl over a mountain of trash and clothes the same size as my bed, if not bigger to go to sleep. Half of my king size bed was full of trash. Roaches started showing up. For weeks, I let them crawl on me. I was so depressed and immobilized, I couldn't even care about roaches crawling all over my body. Remembering that time makes me want to throw up. I'm glad to say I'm somewhere else now doing much, much better.
For perspective, during this low, low time I was an attractive, fit commercial model. My nails and hair were always done. I didn't smell. I did not look like who someone would imagine slept in roaches. Mental illness does not discriminate, nor does it have a look. Sometimes it doesn't even change your appearance. We really have no idea what others are going through.
2.
When I met a transgender woman in Colorado who was confident, happy and successful, and realised that I couldn't be any of those things if I was lying to myself about who I was.
Two days later she helped me come out of the closet.
So yeah that was how I started this month.
1.
When I stopped my bike in the middle of the freeway at midnight coming off of a brutally hard shift at a job I hate and contemplated whether or not I wanted to die right there and then.
Also known as yesterday...
It's really scary to suddenly contemplate suicide when you're in a bad place both mentally and physically. I didn't realise how messed up I've been feeling for the past three years until I looked at the darkness and felt that I didn't want to see the light anymore.
I'm handing in my two-weeks-notice on Friday.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
Transgender people can get help through the Trans Lifeline at https://www.translifeline.org/ or call US: 877-565-8860 Canada: 877-330-6366
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
People Confess The Reasons They Had To Cut All Ties With A Friend
Reddit user Duemont6 asked: 'What's something a friend did that made you end your friendship with them?'
Everyone has disagreed with their friends, even their best friend, at least once in their life.
Sometimes these disagreements might even lead to arguments or fights.
Of course, the sign of a true friendship is the ability to forgive and forget, and if all is not necessarily forgotten, it eventually becomes water under the bridge.
Sadly, this isn't the case for everyone, as sometimes words are said, or incidents occur that are difficult, if not impossible, to forgive and recover from.
Bringing even the closest friendships to an effective end.
Redditor Duemont62 was curious to hear what led people to cut one or more of their closest friends out of their lives, leading them to ask:
"What's something a friend did that made you end your friendship with them?"
Meow!
"She was a cat hoarder and when I talked her into giving up 20 she said that would help making space for the fall litters (outdoor feral)."
"I gave up."
"She had 120 cats inside her house."- MeowMix24
Not Even The Tiniest Gesture...
"I was run over by a drunk driver years back."
"Died temporarily and had to be revived at the hospital."
"Both my brothers told my best friend of over 20 years what happened."
"Not once did he reach out to see how I was or ask if I was ok or wished me well."
"I was hurt by it, but tried to make some sort of sense of it, like maybe he just didn’t know what to say or he was shocked by the news or he wanted to give me space to recover."
"Months later I’m home but still in crutches and can barely move without a great deal of pain."
"Reached out to my friend on the phone, talked a bit and asked if he felt like coming over to watch a movie, play some games and just hang out."
"I was lonely and missed him."
"He seemed enthused but asked if I could WALK to his house in December on icy roads barely able to hobble around on crutches to hang out there instead."
"He lived 0.2 miles from me and couldn’t drive or walk the roughly 5 minutes to my house."
"I stopped talking to him shortly after."- MitchConnor555
Victim Of The Bottle
"I had one where the guy was a horrendous drunk."
"Super sensitive to alcohol and would very easily slip into blackout status."
"When he would get drunk, he just wanted to f*ck with people and be a sh*t disturber."
"One night he was pretty drunk and we didn't feel like f*cking with with so we went out without him."
"We come home around 11 that night and he had a bunch of sketchy people in our house that we're also obnoxiously drunk."
"He was almost passed out on the couch after he had burned a huge hole in our carpet after going into my room and getting my hookah setup."
"I go upstairs and there are just random people I had never met just chilling out in the random bedrooms."
"Some people smoking weed on my bed."
"One random drunk guy was screaming at someone on the phone and gave the person on the phone our address and told them to bring everyone over."
"We kicked everyone out which of course was a huge scene and conflict."
"We booted the guy out the next day."
"Haven't talked to him since"- PutinBoomedMe
When People Refuse To Change...
"Maybe not anything dramatic but my best friend from university came back to visit his parents who live in the same city as me and we wanted to have dinner."
"I knew he was super flakey in university, so I made sure I kept my week open because I knew he wouldn't know when he was available until the last minute."
"I was so excited to introduce him to my fiancé and show him our new house."
"We got everything for a really nice dinner."
"The day before we had planned to have dinner, he texted me that he didn't feel like driving over from his parent's house (30 min) the next day because 'he might be tired'."
"I was mad that he was flaking on such important plans, but I offered to bring all the stuff for dinner and drive out to him instead."
"He said, 'No thanks'."
"I realized that he really didn't care about anything that was going on in my life and was still as immature as he had been in university."
"I decided it wasn't a friendship I wanted to maintain anymore."- kitskill
It Was All Fine Till SHE Came Along...
"He married a girl who is incredibly hard to get along with and turned into a robot."- Gua_Bao
Warped Priorities...
"Friends for over a decade."
"I was her maid of honor."
"She had 3 children with her husband, whom I was also very good friends with."
"I was very close with the kids, they called me auntie."
"I worked for her out of a home office."
"Watched the marriage deteriorate."
"She started a relationship with one of her clients after the marriage ended."
"She then started to treat her children like a burden."
"The new relationship was (and still is, to the best of my knowledge) more important than her children."
"When someone starts to severely neglect their children for a new exciting f*ck boy, I have to walk away."- redrainbow76
Friends Don't Take Advantage Of Other Friends...
"They were using me for free rent and as a scapegoat."- Chicago_Synth_Nerd_
The Green Eyed Monster...
"After talking to a guy I liked, we found out my 'best friend' was telling both of us that the other person didn't like us/found us annoying."
"He would ask her to invite me to parties, and she'd tell him I couldn't come, or that I said no and that he annoyed me."
"She'd tell me that he didn't invite me because he thought I was annoying."
"All because she liked him but wouldn't admit it to anyone."
"When we finally realized, we got together and stopped being friends with her."
"We've been together for 11 years now!"- horton_hears_a_homie
Not There When You Needed Them...
"The last straw: showing me no support when my dad passed away."- didyoubutterthepan
What Goes Around Comes Around...
"My best friend of 10 years and her husband had a falling out with my brother because my brother chose to stay out of a situation they were having with someone else, another mutual friend of ours."
"He didn’t wanna get involved."
"I agreed he shouldn’t get involved."
"They got so nasty and bitter about it all over time, and ended up lying to my brothers new wife and told her he cheated on her with one of our other friends."
"I knew this not to be true at all."
"They continued to make up stories and lie to her about him and it eventually destroyed their marriage because it created mistrust and conflict."
"His wife already had a lot of mental health struggles and it made it worse for her."
"They eventually divorced."
"I cut them out of my life."
"Since then, they have apologized and admitted to making up all the stories out of hurt and bitterness that my brother wouldn’t take their side in the conflict they were having with someone else, but it is all just too late."
"My brothers marriage was destroyed and so was our friendship."
"No coming back from that."
"By the way, my brother didn’t get involved because they were the ones in the wrong and if he told them that, imagine how much worse their revenge would be!"
"They’re unhinged."
"And their own marriage has since fallen apart."
"Karma."- NachosandMargaritas
Some might say that any true friendship is salveagable.
Leading one to wonder if any friend you found yourself cutting out of your life completely was ever a real friend at all.
People Share The Best Advice For Someone Starting Their First Job
Starting your first job is always nerve-wracking. The start of anything new usually is. That's why it's helpful to get some advice.
Before I started my first job, a friend of mine told me that there were a lot of things I should be willing to do in order to become indispensable, but one thing I should never do is give up lunch.
Even if it's a busy day and everyone is working through lunch, take five minutes to buy something at the deli next door or pop something in the microwave. You will not do your best work if you do not eat a meal.
I was very glad to get that advice, and it was something I always followed.
I also followed my own personal rule of writing down the process to do anything at work, even if it was as simple as where to look for a particular file. Anytime I thought 'oh, I'll remember,' I ended up having to ask again. It's always better to write it down so you not only know how to do it, but are the one that people come to when they need to know how to do it.
I'm not the only one that has good advice for someone starting their first job. Redditors are full of advice and are ready to share.
It all started when Redditor CampDreamy asked:
"What advice would you give someone starting their first job?"
Think Positive
"95% of success is showing up on-time and not having a bad attitude."
– Firebolt164
"There’s a quote that goes something like: you don’t need an advanced degree to show up on time, work hard, and have a positive attitude."
"I basically used this as my mantra as I built my career (and still do)."
– tyrannosean
"This has been my experience in my first ~5 years of employment. Being someone that people enjoy interacting with, sticking to deadlines, and broadly trying to make lives easier rather than harder will get you pretty close to the top, and it’s a lot easier than working overtime every day."
– 2catsinatrenchcoat
"Yep, when I was younger I always thought that just showing up on time, being a decent person to work with, and doing a good job were the bare minimum that everyone did....I learned later that this will put you above approximately 90% of your co-workers."
– raoulduke212
Sound Advice
"Poop on company time."
– 1320Fastback
"Well, sh*t."
– CampDreamy
"Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. That's why I poop on company time."
– mrselfdestruct066
Everyone Makes Mistakes
"Don't worry about f**king up. You're going to f**k up. We all f**k up. Constantly."
"Learn from it when you f**k it up so you do it better next time and you'll be the best employee in any job."
– MaximumZer0
"And when (not if) you f**k up, own up to it, and do your best to fix it. It's way easier to fix a mistake when it first happens than 3 weeks or even hours down the line. This applies to basically any field."
– super5aj123
Gossip Girl
"Listen to gossip if you want, but never spread it."
– GamerMomLife
"Yep. I worked in a private pool snack bar kitchen last summer, and nearly all of my coworkers were high school girls. The amount of sh*t they talked on each other was insane, but I just tried my best to not get involved. It never became anything other than sh*t-talking, but it's just a good idea in general to keep your head down."
– super5aj123
"I work in a kitchen with majority middle-aged women, and it's simular to what you described."
– DeadStar800
Do It All
"If they tell you to sweep, just sweep. You still make the same amount. Unless you’re an MD or something else, in that case you’re f**ked!"
– PublicEnema11
"A programmer consultant I knew in the 90s lived by the motto "it all pays the same.""
"You want him to spend his $50/hr time doing things that an unpaid intern could handle? Sounds like an easy day."
– Cacafuego
(Don't) Let It Burn, Burn, Burn
"Don’t burn bridges if you quit or get fired."
– kbrown423
""Never cut what you can untie.""
"- Robert Frost"
– sophistt_
It's All Public
"Assume everybody in the company plus clients will read every email you send."
– CouchieWouchie
"Yeah this is genuinely a great rule that will save your @ss. Write every email as if it will be read by the whole org."
– FrungyLeague
"Also speak as though anything you say is being recorded."
– squished_frog
Protect Yourself
"Document EVERYTHING. Every time punch. Every direction from your supervisor."
– DejectedDonut
"Do this if you are working outside your duties/responsibilities as well, or directed to do things. You want a paper trail of why you did what you did if something screwy happens."
"Ideally, the work place should concentrate on policy, protocol, training, engineering and admin controls and such... but well stuff isnt always ideal."
– Zech08
Work Friends
"You're going to feel tempted to make strong relationships with your coworkers - but remember that you shouldn't share with anyone what you wouldn't want known by everyone. You may think you can trust someone, but you should have a bit of caution."
"A lot of work relationships feel a bit like a friendship, but they are not. If they move on, or you do, it is rare that you will stay in touch. Accept it for what it is."
– Mobtor
Education
"Take advantage of tuition reimbursement to get degrees/certifications that will benefit your career and don't worry about "owing" the company for it."
"Many industries have pretty generous tuition reimbursement programs where they cover your school but you owe them time after they cut those checks. A typical program might have a requirement that if you leave the company you need to pay back anything they had paid out in the last two years."
"The thing is that you want to leverage that degree for a salary jump and the current company won't give it to you because they have you "locked" in now, right?"
"So you interview for your next job and when that company gives you an offer you explain that you're on the hook for the tuition reimbursement at your old company "and since you will be getting the benefit of that education I will need a signing bonus to cover my financial obligation to my current employer.""
"Keep in mind that the signing bonus will be taxable income so you need to shoot for an amount that will have taxes taken out and leave what you need to pay back the tuition."
"I've known too many people who didn't get a degree that could have really helped them but they didn't want to be "on the hook" to their employer. I even know one guy who spent close to $30k out of his own pocket to get a master's degree because he didn't want to "be stuck here" when he was done."
– tacknosaddle
The Little Moments Matter
"Don’t miss any major life events (or the major life events of close family/friends) for work. You might feel pressure from your employer not to take the time off."
"The family/friends will still be around for many years, the first job probably won’t."
– mxxiestorc
Learn To Save
"Pension! Pension! Pension!"
"Put as much as you can afford to into your pension. Retirement might seem a lifetime away but the sooner you save for it the sooner you can achieve it."
– Grayzo
Money, Money, Money
"Pack a lunch! Eating out can put a huge dent in your paycheck!"
– awileycat
"Can't stress this enough. For the price of eating out unhealthy food for 1 day you can usually pack healthier lunch for 2-3 days."
– QuantumExileMusic
Oh, yes! I found out about that last one the hard way...and still haven't learned!
Just the other evening, I was walking home, and I barely survived.
I tripped on a dead tree branch.
The next thing I knew, I was flying in the air and landing on my back.
My belongings were strewn about.
And my to-go burger was dead.
A simple walk.
A simple dead branch.
And almost lights out.
Redditor Typical_XJW wanted to hear about the times people eluded death, so they asked:
"How did you almost die?"
Don't even get me started on any and every car ride.
We're always moments from the end on highways.
Back in the Day...
Hunger Games Student GIFGiphy"Almost drowned when I was 5 or 6, been hospitalized twice for sepsis between 2016 and 2019, and had a stroke this year. I'm 29."
ChristmasKid88
On the Disk
"MRSA infection in the disk on my lower spine between L5 and S1. Showed up two days after a cortisone shot but the hospital said it was from something else. Was in hospital 25 days multiple emergency surgeries."
EatA**FromBack
"I worked for a doctor who did these in-house and other procedures, and it 100% made me not trust medical facilities, cleanliness, and sterilization procedures. Had about twenty patients all come down with the same gut infection, 'coincidentally,' the same patients who came in for endoscopy procedures the same day."
dimlylit_
Saved
"Saving a younger friend from drowning, he panicked and almost took me out."
loztriforce
"Had that happen with a younger cousin when we were kids. His brother and I went to save him, he climbed on both of us and pushed us under. Lifeguard didn’t even see us until he pulled younger cousin out of the water, then we popped up gasping for air."
coffeejunki
Shucked
"16-year-old farm kid me, stepdad told me to go pick up a load of corn seed for planting. I had gone with him many times before, and driven the truck (full ton dually diesel) and hauled light stuff with it. Nobody told me how different it is to haul 10,000 lbs of seed on a big flatbed trailer on gravel. I had a lot of common sense and was driving slowly and carefully."
"Still… 10,000+ lbs pushed me down a gravel hill skidding, praying to god I stopped before the stop sign at the T intersection to a busy highway. I came to a grinding halt JUST as the front of the truck crossed the plane where the gravel turned to asphalt. A semi was coming from one direction and regular cars from the other. I shudder thinking about what if on that one. Don’t let untrained kids tow potentially deadly, heavy trailers, with zero training."
datnetcoder
Finding Tracks
College Sports Sport GIF by Sealed With A GIFGiphy"Was backwoods camping in Yellowstone and if I hadn’t considered for 30 seconds if I REALLY needed to get up and go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, I would have walked out of my tent headfirst into a brown bear, which I heard before leaving and found tracks of next to my tent in the morning. Spookiest moment of my life in hindsight."
danvo5
Bears are a no go for me.
Camping is an even bigger HECK NO!!
Several Strikes
Reassuring Jimmy Fallon GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy FallonGiphy"Twice. 1. Woke up to my apartment on fire."
"2. Hit head-on by a drunk driver on a small bus, just after everyone got off bus exploded."
lizard_king0000
Oh Barb
"Lmao okay, so I was getting my teeth cleaned, and I got nitrous oxide because I have so many exposed roots. Well, my hygienist at the time was this lovely lady from Minnesota. Kinda flaky, but super sweet, and talked about her family all the time. So I'm in the chair and she hooks up my mask, and away we go. I actually fell asleep! Except not so much."
"Turns out Barb had forgotten to turn the oxygen on and had been feeding me straight nitrous. She only noticed because I started gasping for air while unconscious. So that's how I almost died at the dentist. I never saw Barb again, but I tell you, that was the best nap of my life!"
CharismaticAlbino
Climb Up
"I was snorkeling. I had my other stuff stored on a rock by the water, about 3 meters high. When I got out, I decided to climb straight up. Almost at the top, the rock I was hoisting myself up on came off and I fell back first onto the coral. If a friendly wave hadn’t come in, I would have broken my back, at least."
Yugan-Dali
Blood Loss
"I was diagnosed with a rare fatal blood disorder from birth, doctors projected I’d live till about 6 and then die from massive blood loss. As this was the mid-90s, they tested the idea of using stem cells from my sibling's umbilical cord; administering the first successful stem cell transplant from a sibling donor and I’m still here to tell the tale!"
Material_Cry1697
These were some tremendously close calls.
Do you have any near-death experiences to share? Let us know in the comment below.
People Who Cheated On Someone Break Down Why They Really Did It
When it comes to the dating scene, most of us have a pretty low opinion of people who choose to cheat on their partners, not to mention serial cheaters.
But that doesn't seem to stop some people from doing the deed.
Curious, Redditor miaah214 asked:
"People who have cheated before, why did you do it?"
Revenge Cheat
"He cheated first, and I was young, petty, and thought revenge would make me feel better."
- Witch_on_a_moped
Immature and Selfish
"Unbridled ego, unsatisfying regular sex life, and a girl who threw herself at me."
"I was an idi*t, I acted like an a**hole, and I will regret it for the rest of my life."
"It was a hard truth to face. It was a dark time in my life where my ego and my immaturity caused me to hurt several people I loved."
"Fortunately, I learned from it, and while I can't take back the pain I caused, at least now I know that I am 100% capable of being an a**hole and so can choose not to be one."
- Seba_King
Insecurity
"Insecurity. I was always on the lookout for someone who would make me feel more desirable than the last. It was a serious youthful lack of judgment."
"Once I grew up emotionally, I realized what a piece of s**t I was and the hurt I caused. Hard to live with, to be honest."
- Penfold_for_PM
Just Desire
"100% pure lust. That’s it. I’m not proud of it."
- mydepressingpoems
Lots of Options
"Willing partners. It was amazing how many times when I did have a steady girlfriend that I would suddenly get propositioned by random women or worse yet, my girlfriend's friends or sisters."
"Too many times to be a fluke."
"It was like they figured if you are in a relationship, you're worth pursuing."
"But when I was single, most times I couldn't get a woman's attention."
"So it was an ego boost, but ultimately, I decided to be a better person, and I met a person who I truly thought was 'the one.'"
"And to a certain extent I did, it just didn't last through no fault of my own."
- Patient-Quarter-1684
In Need of Validation
"When you grow up being in turn neglected and told you're not good enough, validation is like a drug, and intimacy is the ultimate validation."
"Sooooo much therapy to undo this."
- RowhammerBitflip
"This. I’m just recently realizing how I didn’t receive enough attention and validation from my parents and how much it’s influenced my choices. Meeting someone and having them be into me physically is the easiest validation boost I can find."
"People who grew up with parents actually interested in them and with an instilled sense of self-confidence don’t know how good they have it."
"I don’t inherently feel important or relevant so I’m always looking for someone to tell me otherwise."
- tellitothemoon
The Thrill of It
"Because I was a f**king a**hole 20-year-old who only thought of himself and getting some action. The high of it."
"I'm 37 now. No cheating since then."
- Temporary_Fault6402
The Real Joy
"My ex was done in the bedroom and even said they were no longer interested in me physically or sexually."
"I should have left at that point, but with kids and the financial hit of divorce, I just looked to fulfill that need."
"I later divorced, and it was a big financial hit, but oh my god, what a relief it was getting out. Getting out of an abusive relationship is where the true pleasure comes from."
- loomdog1
In Need of Attention
"My partner cheated on me shortly after I had his baby. I wanted to leave, but I convinced myself to stay. The logistics of having a baby and 24-hour care are challenging on your own. He refused to have sex with me."
"At some point, someone got me in a weak spot. Somewhere between exhaustion, low self-esteem, and the sheer opportunity of having an orgasm were too strong for me. I’m deeply ashamed."
"Shortly after I picked myself up, the relationship ended. I should have left sooner."
"Someone telling you that you are beautiful, talented, and special after being invisible can feel like a drug. I don’t expect sympathy from anyone for my actions. But I do have a lot of sympathy for others now."
- throwawaythrowyellow
The Easier Option
"Because I chose a cowardly and easy path. Instead of going to therapy and ending my toxic relationship, I cheated on them with someone who I had convinced myself I was in love with and loved me."
"As it turns out, breaking up with someone is a lot less harmful to everyone involved than cheating."
- dodongosbongos
Devastating Choices
"Not me, but a guy friend cheated and the reason he gave was that he loved his fiancée but they had very different sex drives."
"He also said that when he brought it up to her (the difference in their sex drives and the problems it would cause) she begged him not to leave and insisted it wouldn’t be an issue."
"He told her it already WAS an issue and, as a last resort, she said she would understand if SOME DAY he felt the need to look elsewhere…just as long as she never found out."
"The girl admitted to saying all this but explained that she would have said anything for them to stay together in that moment, she didn’t think he’d actually be 'f**ked up enough to cheat' and she never imagined he would do it so soon."
- Dramiotic
The Perfect Combination
"A perfect storm of poor impulse control, untreated mental illness, and boredom."
"People on the moral high ground will tell you not to cheat for reasons like morality and integrity; from the moral low ground, I can tell you that the lifelong guilt, shame, and remorse are not worth it."
- LowCarbBeesechussy
Emotionally Done
"Because the relationship was done and I was already moving on emotionally. I just didn't care about her enough to care whether she was hurt or not. Honestly, in hindsight, I have zero idea why we were still together. It DID make the eventual breakup a lot messier."
"I was young and it taught me an important lesson. If you're done, just be done and leave. There's no point in dragging it out. If you're ready to start looking for another relationship, start by ending the relationship you're already in."
- codefyre
Ready to Make Up for It
"I had a perceived lack of affection. I felt ugly and disgusting and like I was just an emotional tampon."
"I would never do it again. In therapy, I learned a lot about the reasons I did what I did and in all honesty, if she would even entertain the idea of trying again, I’d spend every day making up for it and making sure she felt more love then can be imagined."
"I’m currently fulfilling into the man I know I can be. I just wish it took a more positive trigger in order to start that for me."
- Anthonys455
Let's end it -- the article, that is -- on a lighter note.
The Worst Kind of Cheating
"My wife wasn’t around. The house was empty."
"I couldn’t wait for her to get home, so I watched the next episode without her knowing."
"Honey, if you’re reading this… I’m so sorry."
- six6sickx
"You're a monster."
- Efficient_Ad_8367
It's so hard to imagine what's going on inside someone else's head or why they might choose to do the things that they do, especially if it's something we don't agree with.
It's at least heartening to see that many of these Redditors used these experiences as learning opportunities and have since gone on to treat the most treasured people in their lives a little differently.