Typically before a big break up people already have a feeling that a storm is brewing. There is that spark of a moment when it hits “this is over, isn't it." For some it's a small thing like thinking about what they won't do with a spare room if their partner moved out, others it's when this lover was caught in the act with another.
For me, it was when we at down to a family dinner only to have our car surprisingly repossessed while sitting at the table. I found out the ex had spent hundreds on a multiplayer online game instead of making payments on the family vehicle. Right then was the realization that we had vastly different priorities and the days together would be numbered. Sometimes sharing these experiences can help others not feel so alone.
Redditor abul201 wanted to start the conversation about these moments. They asked:
"What was the exact moment you realized your relationship was doomed?"
From the minor to the heartbreaking, Redditors from all over shared the moments when they knew deep down it was over.
Cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater...
“Using my ex's computer and saw a folder on his desktop with a random name. It was weird so I clicked on it and he had HUNDREDS of photos and screen caps of sexts, ads he put looking for women, emails, etc. It was insane. Some of the chats ended literally moments before I opened the front door.”
“Some of the chats were just complaining about me. Some were more romantic. A lot were purely sexual. I have no idea why he screenshotted them all. I have never felt that level of betrayal in such a short moment; it felt like I'd explode. So yeah, we weren't working things out after that lol.”
Parenting says a lot about a person...
“Almost 3 years ago now, my ex and I had plans for a couple weeks to take his 2 toddlers to Chuckie Cheese when I got off that day. He decided to go to CC by himself that morning to 'get out of the house.' He was screaming and cussing at them for not behaving while there and while having lunch at my work, and turned around while driving to spank one of them for something small, and I LOST IT."
“I let him know what I thought of his parenting, how I had raised his kids for two years and I was hurt he excluded me from family time, I let him absolutely have it about everything. 2 weeks later I was living with family instead of him. Thank God I got out. I'm currently laying in bed with the love of my life and our two dogs.“
This Redditor continued adding a more lighthearted break up moment...
“Also adding my funniest one because we aren't all perfect: I broke up with my last ex bc she ate my dessert and refused to accept it was rude. (After 6+ months of not being happy together, I'll add.)”
Hungry Bill Murray GIF by Groundhog Day
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“"When she stopped saying 'I love you’...”
“When she stopped saying ‘I love you’ at the end of our phone calls. I know it sounds minor, but that was when I knew. I don't think she even realized that I noticed.”
“Internally I was like brush...”
“I had this conversation with the last guy I dated. Apparently I knew things he told me which not even his friends knew and all. But I realised he doesn't ever initiate or let the conversation go that way where I can talk to him about my past relationships and all, I don't share much about family stuff initially.”
“He said he doesn't want to lose the spark and all excitement by knowing everything in one go. Internally I was like bruh, I have many stories atleast let me feel like you're interested. It was such a blegh answer. I said cool.”
“Maybe he didn't wanted me to get attached because he was going to change cities soon, but I already knew that. His way of handling it just made me realise, that I'm waiting for him to change cities soon, and if he was not , I'll end it anyway.”
What did he expect?
“When he showed up after disappearing for 5 days (after he'd picked a fight the same day he returned from a TDY and left saying he ‘was done’) and his first words were ‘I’m recording this and I'm just here to get some of my stuff’.
And then he had the audacity to be pissed and upset when I filed for divorce and moved out a week later because he ‘never said he wanted a divorce’.”
Sometimes things just run their course.
“We didn't have a crazy blowout breakup, it was a long slow death of relationship. We were laying in bed about a month before we officially split and she was expressing the possibility of leaving.”
“My first thought was ‘I could do so much cool sh*t with the office/spare bedroom once she's gone’ instead of trying to communicate or work through it in a constructive way. We had a good relationship, it had just ran it's course. But I suppose that's the exact moment I knew it was really over.”
Malaligned priorities...
“When she spent the mortgage payment on Facebook games.”
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Didn't want to deal with the consequences...
“When 3 days after admitting that she cheated and had sex with her previous boss, after 9 months of denying my suspicions and projecting on me, she said 'are you going to get over it already, or just hold this over my head forever?'"
Best Excuses For Late Assignments That Were Actually True | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
So much infidelity...
“When I went to use the iPad we shared and realized he hadn't logged out of his email. He worked out of town a lot, I found out he had an Ashley Madison account and had many posts on Craigslist 'in town for one night only, looking for sex'. Felt like I got stabbed in the heart right then."
“I never saw her for days on end.”
“When she started going out to friends' houses more and more. It wasn't that I was against her seeing her friends, but I mean it was to a point where I never saw her for days on end.”
“When she DID come back? She didn't want any sort of affection. Or touch. Or anything. I knew it was over, but my heart ruled my head and I tried to ignore it in the interest of saving it, but I knew.”
“Found out a day later she was cheating while she was ‘out with friends’. And that she had fallen for the guy she was cheating on me with.” We1tfunk
Off with his head!
“When I was in the hospital after a c-section and told him I just wanted a burrito for lunch and he said he wasn't going for Mexican, he was going to Panera. Then showed up and ate his Panera in front of me, didn't get me anything because 'you never told me what you wanted'." itsgravynotsauce
“it was past time...”
“When she kept saying in arguments, ‘What if I break up with you tomorrow?’ To be fair, she probably should have long before that.”
“When I pointed out to her that she was sounding like a broken record with that line, she admitted that she had been too passive-aggressive lately, and came out and said, ‘I've been unhappy for a long time.’ We both knew, then and there, it was past time for us both to walk away from that mess of a relationship.” tifftafflarry
Young love...
“After she moved over a thousand km north I flew up to see her during holidays. When I got there I already saw how much she had fallen out of love with me (which I know is normal, to a degree). I spent two weeks up there trying to stop it from going where it was going.”
“I flew home and we ended it on non hostile terms a few days later. Sucks to have a relationship end like that, especially my first and one that lasted over a year. All less than a month ago.” Lagoon2812
How many?
“I walked in on my ex gf in bed with her co worker. Also found she had been messaging 3 other guys and was f**king them too. That was 7 years ago, I still have trust issues. I've been ghosted 4 times in the last 6 months.”
“Last one really hurt, we were doing great and she vanished. Dating sucks. Keep it up, we will find our soul mates eventually!” Shut-the-fuck-up
*Gag*
“One day I came home from work and he was asleep naked in my bed. I always made my bed with lovely fresh white cotton bedding. He was 'straddling' the edge of the duvet... the edge of the duvet was between his arse cheeks. Also he didn't shower every day.”
“Also if I didn't wash his clothes, no-one did. The duvet incident must have been the straw to break the camels back, it repulsed me to the point where any attraction I had for him drained away in seconds. I shortly after met my husband who I have been with 8 years, who is deliciously hygienic and smells amazing.” TheOutlawJosieWhale
They needed to stay out of Google...
“When they would come to me every day and tell me they think they have a new mental disorder. They would self-diagnose almost every day and then refuse to see a therapist or doctor, and would instead come to me and ask for me to help, when I have absolutely no idea how to deal with that kind of stuff, and then get pissed off when I didn't know what to do.” Anonymous26576
She didn't care...
“When I realized she never asked me how my day was when I'd ask about hers. Never asked about my hopes and dreams, about how my weekend was, or how I was doing in general. She didn't give a sh*t about me.” ipromiseimcool
“This is one of those ‘hindsight is 20/20’ things, but. My ex fiancé got into a verbal altercation with someone at a screening of Batman. I guess she stole someone's seat and didn't tell me?”
“Just led me over to the seats. So I went to get popcorn and she stayed at the seats. Well, the person whose seat it originally was came back, and was (understandably) upset that she was sitting there. Instead of moving like a normal person, my ex proceeded to get in a yelling match with the guy.”
“I came back with popcorn & saw this happening, and tried to get her to move... no dice. An usher got involved. We ended up getting her to move seats but she proceeded to rant about ‘that jerk at the movies’ for a while after.... even tho she was, in fact, the jerk that day....”
“That was very early on in what turned out to be an abusive relationship that I should have run screaming from. But hey, hindsight and all that. Now I'm in a healthy relationship with someone who would never do that. Lol so it worked out.“ CubanaCat
“When he called me crying asking if I was dating him for his (family) money. We were in college. I worked, he did not. I paid for over 50% of what we did socially. I paid for his Xmas gift out of my own pocket, he had to ask his parents permission to charge mine to a credit card.”
“I was in an awesome program with great job potential, he was not. His mom hated me for ridiculous things, his father liked me though. The funny thing, his parents were well off, but not ridiculously rich. I started laughing when he said that. It was over by the end of the call.” whichtoo
Some of these moments were glaring realizations like catching infidelity while others were more gradual and subtle. One thing is for sure, relationships take work and if the work outweighs the happiness then it might be time to reassess.
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When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.