People Describe Which Mistakes Their Well-Meaning Parents Made Raising Them

Parenting is definitely not an easy task.
Parents are responsible for the wellbeing of a tiny human from the time they're born until they grow up and move out on their own.
They're bound to make a few mistakes along the way.
Some mistakes are definitely more hurtful than others, though.
Reddit user amklair asked:
"What are some of the worst parenting mistakes your 'well meaning parents' made while raising you?"
Profanity
"Getting mad at me for saying 'bad' words."
"Getting mad at me for swearing I can understand, but my dad once flipped out on me because he thought I said 'penis'."
"I said pianist."
"But even if I had said penis, getting angry with a child for using the correct anatomical term for the male reproductive organ is f**king ridiculous."- pmme_your_lbits
Perfection
"They were pushing me to be 'perfect'."
"By 'perfection' they meant the girl that:"
"Never raises her voice, always does as she is told to, is everyone's pushover."
"Has the best grades at school but never gets higher education or a job and goes straight to becoming a stay-at-home mom, is smart but not feminist."
"Doesn't wear make up, doesn't go out with friends, only women that don't care about their family do these."
"Spends all her life with her family as close as possible."
"Has social skills but only limited to relatives."- DirladaDiraladada
Praise
"My parents made a lot of mistakes but I think the one that really fits here is praising me for being really smart."
"As long as I could show that I was smart, I got praised."
"Working hard didn't matter."
"Barely working at all didn't matter."
"Once I got older and actually started to struggle with a few things, it was like someone took a hammer to a bottle inside me labeled 'self worth'."
"My identity was based around being smart and just instantly understanding everything."
"When that went wrong, I struggled."
"Working to understand something was an entirely foreign concept to me and just wasn't something I found myself capable of doing."
"If I couldn't instantly get or do something, I dropped it."
"I also felt like crud."
"I learned it was easier to just not try because trying and failing hurt a lot while not trying and failing didn't."
"I also managed to succeed in most things with barely any effort."
"I dunno."
"It's stupid and hard to explain."
"Sorry."- namenamesname
Forgetting
"On my 4-year birthday, my parents decided to baptize my brother."
"They had a big party with everyone from my family and stuff, and no one wished me a happy birthday."
"I know they didn't think about it at all, but it's something I remember very clearly, I cried myself to sleep that night."- ketchupisasmoothie
Sheltered
"Holy crap was I sheltered."
"I was super sheltered to the point where when I got to the 'real world', I had no idea what to do."
"Hell, I'm 28 & STILL don't know anything."
"I never got to hang with friends thus affecting my social skills, my mom would constantly degrade me if I couldn't figure out a problem even she couldn't do."
"For example, one of her favorite insults was "C'mon Chad, we're not re-inventing the wheel!'
" And yes, I am a Chad I might as well say."
"Everything that we would do, always had to revolve around what my mom liked."
"It makes me feel like my hobbies are garbage & aren't worth the light of day."
"She constantly interrupts me when speaking just to talk to someone else, which makes my words feel like they're worthless, like something that holds no value."
"It's made me feel......empty & to be honest."
"I hate talking about my feelings because I feel like I don't know how to describe them without sounding like an emo 16 year old."- TheNekoMatta
Clean Plates
"The clean plate rule and super strict diet."
"Now finish everything on my plate with compulsive relentlessness and have a really hard time moderating snacks."
"A neighbor once felt so sorry for me that she gave me a small bag of chips for my birthday."
"I hid under my bed and ate them."
"This does not lead to a healthy relationship with food."- streamstroller
No Explanation
"Never explaining their decisions and reasoning."
"'I'm the mom, that's why'."
"Never apologizing when they made mistakes."
:Showing love with material things."
"Teaching me to be so polite that I couldn't say no to anything or stand up for myself."-egirl25
"This."
"My mom's favorite was 'because I'm the parent and you're the child."
"I swear I heard it at least once a day."
"All it did was make me rebel more/ probably do more dangerous things than I normally would've because I thought she was saying no just to be mean instead of explaining that certain actions could hurt me."-kvrnbrch
Un-constructive Criticism
"Telling me I was a good writer, then when I asked her to read things I wrote, being told 'that has plot holes big enough to sail an aircraft carrier through'."
"No further detail, no help, no identification of what exactly the hole was."
"Fifth grade writing contest, I had been writing ongoing stories in a world I had created."
"Was gonna write up a new bit or recycle an old one in that world."
"Mom decided she'd write her own story in my world with my characters and make me turn that in."
"I didn't make it past the first round."
"Gave her a story I wrote later on for her to look over."
"She gave it back, having rewritten it."
"All my complex sentences were reduced to subject verb object."
"The flow was gone, the tone was gone, just choppy words left."
"I hate everything I write now, but everybody tells me to keep doing it because I'm 'good' at it."-DraconicArcher
Punishments
"My grandparents had the philosophy that if one kid misbehaved, all the kids got the same punishment."
"My mom has stories of coming home from some after school activity, having done absolutely nothing wrong, and getting spanked the minute she walked in the door, then sent to bed without dinner because her brother had done something that was completely unrelated to her."
"How screwed up is that?"
"At best, it pits your children against each other and causes them to act out toward one another to avoid being punished."
"Is that really what you want as a parent?"
"A seven year old beating on his five year old brother to avoid having his own ass beaten?"-830_L
Expectations
"Constantly upping the bar if I made B's then A's became the minimum."
"I watched my siblings once, oh then I got to watch them every week."
"Nothing was ever good enough."
"I workout oh well your doing it wrong, I hated running."
"I try to pray and be active in my faith, I'm 'too into it'." (
"Really wasn't they just didn't like anything that told them no."
"All of this was to supposedly push me to achieve more and be stronger and instead I just gave up on trying because what's the point if getting B's which was really hard with my ADD wasn't good enough why bother trying for A's.-gsp1991dog
"My internal monologue: 'why bother doing the best for a lot of effort, when I can do decently with a lot less effort, and get yelled at the exact same no matter the result?'- just_a_random_dood
Bottle It Up
"Sometimes a kid just needs to be upset and have a parent listen and sympathize/empathize instead of approaching feeling negative emotions like a problem that needs to be fixed."
"My brother and I were never allowed to be upset or angry or sad without being just hounded to death about needing to just let things go and think positively."- CamembertlyLegal
Superficial
"I was one of those 'model gorgeous' kids and my parents basically made my worth about my looks."
"I now have an eating disorder and really low self esteem because I was taught my accomplishments didn't matter as long as I looked pretty."- ThornyThong
Abuse
"Always my dad:
"Forced us to SWALLOW a bottle of liquid soap when I said bad words."
"I thought this was what it meant to have your mouth washed out with soap until I was eighteen."
"Made us eat off dirty dishes when they weren't completely washed."
"Made us sit at the table till our plates were empty when we wouldn't eat."
"Sometimes we were there till past midnight or one in the morning."
"Told me that being bullied in school was just teasing and kids messing around, and that if it was bullying I obviously did something to start it."
"Threatened to kick my brother and I out of the house."
'When I told him about books I was writing he would criticize them to the point that they were no longer mine."
"Ignored the fact that my sister had a learning disability and refused to allow my mother to get her the help she needed."
"Yelled at me when I nearly broke my leg and had to have and x-ray, told me if my leg wasn't broken I was grounded because x-rays are expensive."
"When I had to get an echo-cardiogram because of a potential heart problem he told me I'd better hope I had one because of the cost."
"I could have been dying!"
"Refused to take my sister to a doctor after the treadmill fell on her, because 'she wasn't hurt that bad'."
"Her collar bone was broken."
"That's not all of it, but that's all I care to share so yeah."
"Not as bad as others, but it was traumatizing for me as a kid."- amfdiat
:Anyone else had their own wooden spoon with their name on it?"
"I can tell you, my mom spent a lot of money on wooden spoons because she broke so many on my butt."
"Now I got a butt of steal."- Hammertime400
"Being shamed, them being selfish, manipulated by both parents, things like that."
I"'ve been abused for years and my mom didn't figure it out until me and my sister moved out and into my dads."- oil_in_oil
Standards
"Maybe not so bad, but apparently only four year olds cry and teenagers aren't allowed to cry if they are panicking."- BiroAceDragon
Lack of Discipline
"My parents were both brought up by very strict parents."
"They didn't want my sister and I to feel so sheltered or restricted, so they, pretty much, let us do and get away with anything."
"We never had any real chores or schedules, and so we missed out on learning some critical skills."
"Things like time management, impulse control, procrastination, laziness are things I still struggle with to this day and I am 30."
"I also have a terribly hard time making decisions, even about simple sh*t."
"I have a deep fear of conflict and confrontation."
"My parents are amazing and I love them so much, but I wish they had been more demanding of us as kids."
"I would be a more successful adult if they had been."
"I have been working my ass off to fix these problems of mine."
"Getting a little better every day."
"Also am trying to do that with my 2 sons."
"I want them to have good work ethic, and self motivation so they can be as successful as possible."- Night_Samurai
Staying Silent.
"OH boy am I late, but this is very relevant to me."
"My sister was never the smartest academic wise."
"If social smarts were graded she'd be all A*s."
"She also never tried that hard and I could see why, her school was really sh*t."
"We went to different secondary schools."
"However, this pissed my parents off to no end, mainly my dad."
"They tried motivating her, mainly via threats, and when that didn't work they just gave up on her."
"No positive encouragement in my house."
"Then comes me, pretty smart academically, in one of the best all girls schools in the country."
"However, at the time, I was horribly depressed and had little to no friends."
"My parents saw me as a model child, so to keep me from going astray my dad would always say 'you don't want to end up like your sister, do you?'."
"As my grades were the only thing going for me, I agreed."
"Cut to 2017-19, I start to see my sister as a person, not a dumpster."
"She's moved to my school and thriving."
"Although my dad did manipulate her into taking chem instead of history, which she later failed but that's another story."
"My social life picks up but my grades droop a bit."
"Dad ain't happy."
"Cut to now, after a series of happenings, including my dad going all out verbally abusive to her, my dad and sister hardly speak, one convo in the last 5 months I think."
"My dad only cares about my physics predicted grade, C/B, my worst predicted, and not my very good ones, such as an A*/A** in history."
"So now I feel like my dad doesn't care about my successes, apart from the ones he can compare to my sister, which he still does a lot."
"Now you may be wondering, where's the mistake?"
"Well reader the fault lies in my mother."
"During this time, she did nothing to stop my dad."
"Thinking standing up for me or my sister would make things worse."
"Even when she says she will talk to him, she never does."
"And that sit hurts man."
"It hurts even more when she tries to make it about her feelings being hurt, when her oldest daughter, 18 at the time, is literally being verbally assaulted by her husband for wanting to get away from him."
"She had the best intentions but ended up breaking mine and my sisters trust in her almost completely."
"Not to say my dad did nothing wrong, he's a manipulative c*nt and I'm pretty sure he's aware of that."- ohdear11829
As we grow older we tend to realize that parents we thought had all the answers were just figuring out as they went.
There are some things we can give a pass... but some we will have to discuss in therapy for years.
Maybe even group therapy.
Everybody has to have fun.
But fun is a word that seems to have many definitions.
I use to have friends who liked to have fun by drag racing.
Now in my dotage, I say... "No thank you."
When we were kids, we would ring and run.
But now, as an adult, that would really set me aflame.
Redditor VisibleConfusion12 wanted to hear about what some people's ideas of a good time, so they asked:
"What is something people want to do that you think is actually incredibly stupid?"
I try to keep my activities clean.
But drinking a bottle of vodka a day isn't high on the list of good ideas.
But that's my fun, not yours. ;)
Save your coins...
"Buy that shiny newer version of a thing you already have."
subtect
"Never buy new things until yours is broken or the upgraded version is tangibly superior in ways that matter."
The_Iron_Gunfighter
She lost A LOT of skin...
"Riding a motorcycle without leathers. A million things can happen so fast and there you are, sliding down the pavement leaving a meat schmear."
OkPenis-ist28
"My stepdad, who is a former EMT, was diving on the freeway and a couple on a motorcycle went past him, then got loose or the tire lost traction, they fell and slid in front of him, he slammed the breaks barely missing them."
"Went into EMT mode to help them. They were both wearing helmets at least. The guy was wearing a jacket and pants, Lady was in a tank top and shorts. Needless to say, she lost A LOT of skin!"
ArtRepresentative634
Tell the Truth
"Lying about not eating before any anesthesia procedure, especially outpatient procedure. You can aspirate and die even w a little bite of food or a sip of a drink (a sip of water and meds are usually ok). But go ahead."
Ok-Strawberry5238
"Lying to anesthesia about not using marijuana, crack, cocaine, heroin, meth, amphetamine, chronic pain meds like opiates, wine or alcohol regularly, vaping, cigarettes, benzodiazepines, or other street drugs. You might wake up during surgery because you’re not getting enough sedation. Or worse have a heart attack, respiratory issues, and die. But go ahead."
Ok-Strawberry5238
No Air
"Exploring those small, tight-a** caves. Extremely stupid."
Galooiik
"But just think of the rewards! Deep down at the far reaches, there are dank, nondescript rocks to see! Rocks! No other way to do this other than to visit any other type or part of any cave anywhere."
"Then there's the glory of discovery. You could be the first to know there are more rocks further down. And you could be famous like the great cave explorer... uh.. hmm..."
bad_apiarist
Pet Boundaries
"Own exotic pets like tigers, wolves, bears or chimps."
GooglePixel69
"Venomous snakes. The snake people are both fully aware of how dangerous the snakes are and also overconfident in their ability to handle them."
jittery_raccoon
I love animals. All animals. But I do not wish to have several of them as pets.
Hard No!
"Forgiving people who are totally unapologetic unchanging abusers. Nope."
Atzkicica
Be Responsible...
"Drive after consuming alcohol. All my friends hate drunk driving and talk about it. They tell their parents that we're smarter than them cuz of Uber... and yet I seem to be the only one in my friend group who refuses to drive after having drinks at a bar/concert/friend's house."
Karneveus
"Someone I know has gotten in 7 accidents in 3 years, 6/7 were caused by drunk drives If you wanna be AWAY from drunk drivers just don’t drive too much at night."
VisibleConfusion12
Think First
"Having sex with no contraception. I've seen too many people having unplanned babies with people they barely know. Bad for the child, the dad, and the mom. Respect yourself and protect your future. Kids are expensive as hell and hard to raise even with 2 devoted parents ask any single parent."
Tiny_Teach_5466
"Agreed."
"Also, using infertility as a method of birth control. All of the infertile people I know who decided to rely on that and not contraception are all parents of unplanned children. Many times 'life, uh, finds a way.'"
paul_rudds_drag_race
Difficulties
"People who think they are smart but are incredibly ignorant and hard to work with but they pursue leading roles."
"So at my job, there is a guy that joined 8 months ago and is still not integrating as they should. They have 20 years of prior experience in a similar field but are totally ignorant mostly."
"Communication with them is hard since their English is broken and half of the talk is arguing since they want to be smart in every meeting."
"Leading people are not seeing this as a problem, he is considered a Senior expert and possibly be given a leading role. I told my superior I am going to leave if that happens."
MegaSUB
But WHY?
"Getting an eyeball tattoo. Do whatever the hell you want, just don't come to me crying, because you lost your eyesight. Nah, I don't feel sorry for you, that was your own damn fault!"
TheUnstableSteak
A tattoo where?
What are people thinking?
I have no words.
Anyone who enjoyed watching movies as a kid likely had their favorite films they liked to pick from.
But those who have revisited some of those childhood favorites may have discovered there was more awaiting them in the film as an adult.
Redditor phantom_avenger asked:
"What's considered a 'kids' movie' but is still very enjoyable to watch as an adult?"
The Princess Bride
"'The Princess Bride.'"
- The_Horror_In_Clay
"Is this a kissing movie?"
- Bast**dInTheNorth
The LEGO Movie
"'The LEGO Movie.'"
- Not_an_alt_69_420
"I didn't see this for the first time until I was already in my 20s and found it hilarious."
"The part where he reads, 'spend time with those who are special in your life,' and it cuts to him watching TV with a potted plant had me in hysterics as a guy who has way more plants than friends, lol (laughing out loud)."
- Chromattix
Kung Fu Panda
"'Kung Fu Panda' is elite for any age."
- aiyhtan
"The whole trilogy is just a masterpiece, and honestly a must-watch for all."
- Furydragonstormer
Hook
"'Hook' with Robin Williams and Dustin Hoffman."
- withteeth08
"Watching 'Hook' as an adult is a totally different experience because, in many ways, I’d argue, it’s FOR adults. It’s about the importance of reconnecting with your inner child and how that can allow you to really connect with your own children, and even to have a more fulfilling life."
- FredrictonOwl
"This line hits me like a ton of bricks now as a father of three and it gets serious real quick."
"Moira Banning: 'Your children love you, they want to play with you. How long do you think that lasts? Soon Jack may not even want you to come to his games. We have a few special years with our children when they're the ones that want us around.'"
"'After that, you're going to be running after them for a bit of attention. It's so fast, Peter. It's a few years, and it's over. And you are not being careful. And you are missing it.'"
- TigerTerrier
Wall-E
"'Wall-E!!!'"
- Curious_Goat_8991
"Wall-E isn't just a great kids' movie. It's an incredible movie all around. The engaging storytelling is entirely visual for the first half without any dialogue. Many directors or writers would struggle to recreate anything of similar quality. It's an effing masterpiece."
- Hopko682
How to Train Your Dragon
"'How to Train Your Dragon.'"
- magkozak
"The first time we saw 'How to Train Your Dragon 2' in theaters and when Stoick died, I balled my eyes out, especially because they just had the previous scene of him reuniting with his wife with him saying, 'You're as beautiful as the day I lost you.'"
"The 'How to Train Your Dragon' trilogy is one of my husband's favorites, and so we watch them often, and I still tear up at both parts in part two."
- Kay-Chelle
Shrek
"Looking back, I realized the 'Shrek' franchise was really just Dad movies disguised as kid movies."
- trizzfromtheisland
"It's even funnier when you learn that the guys who made it were ex-Disney employees, and the entire movie was a giant middle finger to Disney. Lord Farqauaad represented Disney's CEO, Mike Eisner."
- chemicalgeekery
"My sister is having a 'Shrek'-themed bachelorette party in August, and I cannot explain how excited I am for it. It’s her 'bachelor-Shrek' weekend!"
- HKtx
Rango
"'Rango.'"
- 37yaft
"The quality of the animation is ridiculous."
- TheBurningBeard
"The toad hanging off the side of a wagon whilst single-handedly reloading and firing his gun at bats ridden by mole people is peak cinema."
- Paw909
The Addams Family
"'The Addams Family' and 'Addams Family Values' were an integral component of my childhood."
"'You have gone too far. You have married Fester, you have destroyed his spirit, you have taken him from us. All that I could forgive. But, Debbie...'
'Pastels?'"
- PlaceboRoshambo
The Muppets Treasure Island
"'The Muppets Treasure Island.' It gets better every time."
- Jaradcel
"'Sailing for adventure on the big blue wet thing!'"
- MisanthropicLove425
Muppet Christmas Carol
"I would also add the 'Muppet Christmas Carol' is the best version of the 'Christmas Carol.'"
- dyslexics-untie
"It is and in no joke whatsoever, this adaptation is considered the most faithful by the Dickensian Association (or something like that, I can't remember the exact name) adaptation of Dickens ever. Even with Muppets in the mix, somehow this is the most faithful."
"I mean, this was Dicken's vision. You name a character Fezziwig and you pretend you didn't have Fozzie in your head at all? It's so faithful that one of the funniest lines in the movie is a direct pull from the story, 'and Tiny Tim, who did not die...'"
"This is a masterpiece and Michael Caine asking to treat the movie as a dead-a** drama while acting alongside Muppets is what gives it its gravitas. I once read that a historian also was surprised at how historically accurate the wardrobe was."
"Having Gonzo as Dickens is masterful. One would think adapting this classic would be easy, but no movie since has achieved the level of quality the Muppets one had. It is, indeed, the best version of 'A Christmas Carol.' Required watching every year."
- ERSTF
Emperor's New Groove
"'Emperor's New Groove.'"
- thepinkleaf
"Oh, Right. The Poison. The poison for Kuzco, the poison chosen specially to kill Kuzco, Kuzco's poison."
- B***hVandeKamp
"My appendix burst during my very first week of college and I was in the hospital for a little bit. The first night after my surgery, I found myself wide awake in the middle of the night with only a little tv to keep me entertained (this was 2004, before streaming services or smartphones)."
"Pretty much nothing but infomercials were playing at that late hour, but then I stumbled upon that movie having just started on the Disney Channel."
"After gleefully watching it, I remember thinking, 'Man, I wish I could watch that again right now,' …and just then the TV announcer said, 'Up next, an encore presentation of 'The Emperor’s New Groove!' It was the absolute best night of a s**t week."
- mynameisbritton
Megamind
"'Megamind.'"
- sundried_potato
"Oh, you're a villain alright. Just not a super one."
- abel_runner_5
"I was so surprised at how good that movie was. The marketing was all just so DreamWorks-y and the posters were every character making extreme DreamWorks faces, so I was ready for it to be like a superhero-themed 'Shark Tale' or something. It was soooooo good, though!"
- OffModelCartoon
The Goofy Movie
"'The Goofy Movie.' The greatest father-son story of all time."
- i-p**s-excellence32
"'I've grown up! I have my own life now!'"
"'I know that! I just wanted to be a part of it.'"
- ApatheticNarwhal
"Their father and son dynamic is one of the best I’ve seen in fiction! Primarily because when it comes to their issues they’re both at fault."
"With Max, taking his father for granted and not appreciating him enough, while Goofy is too scared to see his son grow up he can’t respect that he needs boundaries."
"Even in the sequel, Max seems to have learnt his lesson although he still gets embarrassed by him he later understands why his father needs to be at his college and actually sympathizes. However, Goofy still hasn’t learned his lesson and goes more overboard on violating Max’s boundaries. But by the end, he finally learns to accept letting Max grow up."
- phantom_avenger
The Incredibles
"'The Incredibles.' Rewatching it as an adult makes you realize how brilliant it truly is."
- EddtheMetalHead
"At work, I regularly reference the scene where Mr. Incredible helps the customer navigate the bureaucracy. Also as a middle age dad, I empathize with the parents a lot more."
"I also like to yell out, 'Honey, where is my super (whatever I can’t find)? Where is my (whatever I can’t find)?'"
- PlayinK01
"Husband and father here."
"Mr. Incredible seemingly hear his wife and kids get killed while being powerless to help them f**ks me up every time."
"A+++ movie."
- MondoDudeBro
Though these movies may have ideally been geared toward younger audiences, it's always fun to see what details or jokes were included to keep older audiences engaged with the story, as well.
Those who see the film for the first time as a child get the best of both worlds, as they're able to see it as it was intended, but then appreciate it at a whole new level when they're older.
We all have our different breaking points when it comes to tolerating certain behaviors.
When pushed too far, people can act impulsively and wind up causing irreparable damage and also ruining various relationships.
Some people may find it difficult to do, but turning their back on the situation is key, but if their backs are up against the wall, they may find that counting to ten may bring momentary peace.
Curious to hear about strangers online suppress their rage, Redditor Grouchy-Trip9582 asked:
"What do you do to calm your anger?"
Not being around others is helpful, though it's not always an ideal solution.
Go Into Isolation
"I have to get away from people."
– xo_lily_xo
"Same but almost impossible with two younger children around. I think I hold the Guinness World Record for the number of times I have tried to sneak into the bathroom to poop but always get interrupted. Going on 7 years with having every single poop interrupted 💪🏻"
– baldymcbaldyface
Advantage Of Being Single
"This is exactly why I'm not in a relationship. Trying to find someone who doesn't argue over trivialities such as these seems to be a tall order the older we get"
– Sequitur1
Any distraction is a good distraction in a moment of rage
Chef's Kiss
"Think about cooking. It sounds weird, but I debate what I'm gonna cook for dinner and run through ingredients in my head. That way, I'm distracted from rage and it gives me time to process my feelings."
– TeaAndBaileys
"Right now, Im angry at my spouse for stupid disagreements with groceries for what to eat. I'll think about cooking some other day."
– repanah222803
Not A Tall Order
"What works best for me is not to think about cooking but to actually bake pancakes. It reduces the world to a small and manageable place where I'm in control and everything works the way I want it to. And I end up with a stack of pancakes to boot. Doesn't work as well when not at home, though. I don't need this fix a lot, sine I am hardly ever angry (and have very little cause to get angry, fortunately)."
– Kraaihamer
Feel The Music
"I begin singing in my head…something calming like Pink Floyd or any number of Black Sabbath songs."
– Sharonfromhell
"If I'm getting impatient or trying not to call someone an idiot I'll sing 'one o'clock, two o'clock, three o'clock rock' in my head. By six o'clock rock I'm usually over it, and nobody even knows I was annoyed."
– Ygnerna
Some people prefer to assess the conflict to help them calm down.
Food For Thought
"Step back and ask myself why the thing making me angry is making me angry. Is it kneejerk defensiveness because something I take for granted has been challenged? Was it an intentionally inflammatory statement designed to make me angry for the sake of attention or clicks? Am I missing an understandable reason someone might do or say something that seems offensive on the surface? Is the person I'm talking to genuinely too ignorant or stupid to understand the implications of what they're saying or doing? Or, after all other possibilities are exhausted, is the anger legitimate?"
"And by the time I've gone through all that, even if it is legitimate, I will have cooled off enough to behave rationally despite any underlying anger."
– MrLuxarina
Effectiveness All-Around
"I do this all the time! Doesn't just work for anger, I've also used it to evaluate my life when I was going through depression. I learned SO much about myself during that time by using this method."
– Ganouche
Switch Mode
"My brain turns it into deep depression."
– Shenanigamii
"If your emotions are imbalanced or morph it could be your brain chemicals. I’m bipolar and when I get extremely mad I usually start crying an hour later and get stupidly depressed. I dunno, that’s what happens to me too is my anger turns into the Great Depression."
– axg12
Assessing The Situation
"a therapist of mine told me that most anger is a reaction to a different type of feeling. I try to analyze what other feeling I'm feeling and get to the core of it. Sometimes it sucks because anger is a kneejerk response usually and hard to really Calm, but to avoid arguments, its better to analyze. it also helps you understand others more."
– turdennis
Bringing In Logic
"When I realize I’m angry I pause, remove myself from the situation and logically think through why I’m angry while rationalizing that it’s not a good reason to be as angry as I’ve gotten and/or if I feel it’s justified I accept that I need to calm down to be productive or risk being irrationally destructive."
– mtgkajhit
Whenever I'm about to go postal in any situation, I think of my dear friend Kimberly and reflect on some of her hilarious antics that to this day still make me laugh.
Yeah, I have her to thank for a number of times I could've caused property damage.
Thanks, Kimberly. You have no idea how much thinking about your sense of humor has gotten me out of plenty of trouble. Not that I need anger management or anything.
Readers, I hope you all have a Kimberly in your lives that you can rely on in the heat of a moment to pull you back.
When we look back on our childhood, we all reflect on things we regret doing.
From stealing money from our parents' wallets to buy candy or cheating on a test, to sneaking into an R-rated movie against our parent's advice, or being caught coming home past our curfew with our first crush.
While these things naturally got us in trouble, we often look back on these things with laughter and amusement, as they seem to be things all children are guilty of at one point or another.
Of course, some of us also may have done things that we can't simply brush off as "kids being kids."
Things we did that couldn't be fixed by an apology or a punishment, and which still cause us to lie awake in bed at night to this very day.
"What is something you deeply regret doing as a child that still affects you to this day?"
And They Likely Have The Scars To Prove It...
"In middle school I jumped from the top of a slide and landed flat on the bottom, hurting my back."
"Pretty sure I've never recovered."- sadnessucks
It Can Never Hurt To Ask
"Falling into the trap of 'If I don’t ask for too much maybe I can get what I need'."- OldBob10
An Honest, But Painful, Mistake
"After every Thanksgiving dinner as a child my grandpa would put a plate of food together for a man named Mr. Bailey who lived by himself and didn’t have family in town."
"He’d drive over to his house, drop the food off, talk for 5-10 minutes, and then come back."
"I didn’t know this."
"One year after our meal my grandpa handed me a plate with a slice of pumpkin pie on it and told me to get in the backseat of his truck."
"I didn’t ask questions and hopped in with the pie."
"We get to our destination and my grandpa opens my door and says, 'you have the pie?'"
“'What do you mean grandpa? I ate it'.”
"I thought the pie was for me. I ate it in the backseat on the car ride like it was a brownie."
"Mr. Bailey didn’t get any pumpkin pie that year."
"I still can’t look at pumpkin pie without feeling bad about it."- bentgrass7
It's OK To Cut Yourself Some Slack, Every Now And Then...
"I took everything to heart."
"All the insults, all the failures, all the minor mishaps, I couldn't just let it pass me by, it hit me right in the heart, which is why my current mental health leaves a lot to be desired."- AnastasiaFrid
It's Frighteningly Easy To Judge
"When I was 4 a neighbor girl and I became friends."
"I invited her over one day to play, we were playing with dog food, it was fake food."
"Well she started eating it."
"I screamed at her and called her nasty and was just sh*tty."
"Told her I didn’t want to play with her anymore."
"As it turned out, the poor girl was severely neglected."
"Her parents never had food so she was basically starving."
"It didn’t dawn on me until I saw that they were kicked from their home and it was condemned and torn down a year after."
"I remember I went over to play one time and the house smelled like rotting hamburger meat."
"There were cockroaches everywhere."
"It was traumatizing, I cannot imagine living there."
"I have tried to find the girl via social media with no luck."- AbrasiveRake34
An Unwanted Remnant Of A Good Time...
"Giving my knees floor burn for fun."
"I don't have a clue why I thought it was fun."
"Now they are in an awful state and completely covered in scars."- thealphagalgirl
Often, The Most Difficult Thing We Have To Face, Is The Truth
"Not sleeping in my dying father's bed with him."
"He asked me to because he didn’t want to be alone."
"I was 18 at the time and was not prepared for all this."
"Until the day I die I will never forgive myself."- Modig7176
Staying Silent And Doing Nothing Can Cause More Harm Than It Seems...
"I regret not having thicker skin and sticking up for myself from my bullies."
"There were two individuals who were complete psychos and went out of their way to make several people's lives hell!"
"One girl was so crazy she tried running my friend off the road driving home from school; she is now in prison for embezzling from her employer."- NectarineNo974
Well Meaning, But Ill Timed.
"When I was 4 yo, the husband of my aunt died."
"Very soon after the his death, the whole family was gathered around in the living room, me sitting across her."
"I wanted to make her feel better and said:"
"'Don't worry, you will find a new Matty you will love'."
"The hurt and surprised face of her hunts me even today."
"I understood I did something wrong but not really what at that moment."
"We are on good terms and she is living a good live now."
"She very likely forgot what I told her that day."
"I'm probably the only one remembering that conversation."- RoachT3
Blaming A 7-Year-Old For Negligence Just About Says It All...
"One time when I was 6-7 I rode on a 4-wheeler with my older sister."
"We hit a dip in my grandparent's pasture, my sister fell off and she went under the rear tire."
"She needed immediate surgery."
"My grandmother still blames me for it and it has affected me deeply."
"For years I listened to how my sister almost died due to my negligence."- xX8PuzzyXx
Genetics Are Nothing To Be Ashamed Of
"Stop exercising / any kind of working out because I was told my movement is awkward."
"Tried to shrink myself because I was a tall girl that stands out of other kids, which ruined my posture."
"Now I have a very bad scoliosis that causes mild but chronic back pain."
"It's very visible as my waist is not symmetrical."
"Might have to go under a big surgery, putting braces to my spine, in the next 3-4 years."- fatbabygoat
Not everything, if anything, can be brushed off by saying "kids will be kids".
This is why it's important for parents to teach their children what is right and wrong, and be kind and compassionate.
Even it won't stop them from making bad decisions it will certainly make them think twice and avoid doing something they will regret for the rest of their lives.