Man Falls Asleep On Plane, And Awkwardly Wakes Up With His Head On The Teen Girl Next To Him–And Her Dad Was Having None Of It
As far as rude awakenings go, a recent Reddit post is a total bombshell.
The post has all the elements of a well-told tale: it occurs 30,000 feet in the air, there's an angry dad, and even some drool.
Reddit user u/GermansOnAPlane is notable for two reasons.
First, that's a solid throwaway handle and tastefully relevant to the oncoming post.
Second, he has the just about the "cringiest" story in the universe to tell.
Right out of the gate this guy has no shame for the underlying motives at play here, understandably.
The actions produced by that conviction are out and out horrifying, but that's coming later.
"This morning I fell asleep on the plane. It was an early flight. Napping was inevitable."
The guy goes on to even share some conscientious thinking.
"Now, when it comes to sleeping on a plane, I always get insecure about my slack-jawed coma face. Hence, window seat."
A real poster-child of politeness we got here.
"I was able to comfortably doze off without facing the passengers next to me. Whom, by the way, was a dad and his teenage daughter who only seem to speak German."
After slumbering for an undisclosed length of time, u/GermansOnAPlane was struck by a brutal turning point.
"The moment my eyes opened, my face was on the daughter's boob while the dad was frantically shaking me awake."
The poor soul.
It feels important to mention that the idea of doing anything "frantic" with about 3 inches of leeway is a startling image. That seems like prime conditions for an injury.
Now awake, our storyteller faced the aftermath.
"The daughter, who also happened to be asleep, woke up the same time I did and immediately started ranting in German."
"I backed as far away from her boobs as possible and profusely apologized to both of them."
Again, the situation offers about the same amount of space and mobility as a cryogenic freezing tomb. "Backed as far away from her boobs as possible" likely impressed nobody.
Our man then became a bit too conscientious.
"If that wasn't awkward enough, I also felt compelled to offer the daughter a tissue to wipe away my drool from her chest."
They say when you're in a hole it's best to stop digging.
The mishap ended with some on-cue fatherly temper.
"The dad wasted no time making his daughter switch seats with him. She didn't seem too happy about that, but he didn't give a f**k."
"His primary objective was to provide a barrier between my face and his daughter's breast."
Immediately, Reddit was johnny on the spot with how the guy should have played it.
"Assert dominance and sleep on his boob too"u/Axelaxelaxe
"Fall asleep on the dad to show him your sleep is serious and holds no discrimination" u/MrMiao
"Did you have a phone on you? I'd have been using Google Translate to frantically write an apology." u/HoorayForYage
Some were keen supporters of his conduct, absolving him completely of any guilt.
"'I backed as far away from her boobs as possible and profusely apologized to both of them'...Why did you apologize to both boobs when you only offended one of them?" u/markatroid
"At least you didn't mention the war." u/MDev01
"Who hasn't done this? German boobs are the third best for plane rides." u/texasyoda
Others had similar stories of their own.
"I do slack jaw sleeping too. I found wearing a face mask keeps me aesthetically pleasing as well as preventing me from drying out my tongue LOL" u/wolf_fee
"Who hasn't woken up with their face mushed up against an unfamiliar boob. This is a rite of passage in some cultures."
"I'm pretty sure the dad only switched seats so he could share his similar voyage to manhood with you. At that point you're like a son to him." u/SeVaSNaTaS
"Reminds me of when I was 11 and I fell asleep on a flight."
"I wake up 20 minutes before the flight lands, with head getting shaken. I manage to look up and see the dude frantically trying to get my head off his shoulder."
"My dad told me afterwards that he had been trying to do that for 2 hours." u/chaunsey_jones
And, of course, there were the totally irrelevant contributors.
"It's "who" not "whom" when it's the subject of the clause." u/bucket_of_nothing
"Hey, it beats getting Incepted." u/bshaddo
Safe to say, if you ever find yourself accidentally doing a wildly uncomfortable thing in public, drooling where you shouldn't, there's a safe space for ya in at least one corner of the internet.
People Who Make Good Money And Don't Hate Their Jobs Explain What They Do For A Living
Few people earn a living doing what they love.
That's why those in the workforce call showing up for work "the grind"–which implies labor-intensive tasks for long periods of time.
However, there are situations in which employees love their jobs and don't even call their labor of love "work."
They just happen to earn money doing what they love. Who are these people? Where are these jobs?
Strangers online discovered what it's like for those who have it good when Redditor puffmonkey92 asked:
"People that don’t f'king hate their jobs and make a decent wage, what do you do?"
Those who work out in the field love the work they do.
"I work in a logyard in S Oregon. Log trucks come in and are unloaded. The load is rolled out on the ground, and I scale the logs. I measure the lengths and diameters, calculate the gross volume in board feet, and make deductions based on defects such as frost seams, insect damage, burn scars, lightning strikes, etc. I work outside, so it can be rough in the winter/summer, but it keeps me moving, and it's an interesting gig. Been doing it about 6 years now. AMA"
Working With Mother Nature
"National Park Ranger. Thirty-two years and counting. As with any profession, there are still bad days."
Working in near isolation is ideal for these Redditors.
Behind The Scenes
"I work in the pathology lab at a hospital. I process blood and biopsy samples onto microscope slides for the pathologists to read. I love it! I feel like I’m helping people, even though I never meet them and they have no idea who I am."
The Happy Statistician
"I’m a statistician and work with a government agency. I particularly really enjoy not having to interact with too many people."
Reliable Computer Expert
"I am the only IT guy for a family owned business. They know nothing about computers so as long as everything is running smoothly they leave me alone. I only put in about 45 minutes of actual work every week."
Movie-Watching All Day
"I’m a colorist. It’s like photoshop for movies. I love it. But I feel very lucky to have this job, and to be successful in the industry."
"I work as a housekeeper at a motel. I love my job. It allows me to work alone, I can listen to my music, and I enjoy making order out of chaos. Also, the money's pretty damn good. Because of the way our pay is structured, I make more than double the standard amount in this industry."
Some people prefer working in customer service, depending on the job.
Joy Of Seeing Satisfied Customers
"Electrician. It’s hard work most days, but satisfying seeing it all lit-up and functioning properly."
"Knowing my work will still be in service many years from now feels good, and seeing customers marvel at their new light fixtures looking great is a good feeling."
"I work at a pet store (only supplies, no animal sales) and make $18 CAD/hr. That might not sound 'decent' but it's better than minimum wage with no meaningful increase in responsibility (aka stress) compared to any other retail worker. In fact, my work environment is lower stress than any other retail/food job I've had and the owner has a keen interest in our well-being. Yearly raises, Christmas bonus, profit sharing, get paid our full scheduled shift if it's shortened or cancelled for weather, aiming to become a living wage employer with promises to increase wages beyond that so long as the business continues to grow."
"Plus no one asks 'why' if I turn down a shift or decline to stay later. Respect for personal time is huge. I'm treated like a human being, not a robot with no life outside work."
Keywords: Security & Freedom
"I’m an accountant for a bank."
"Good salary, great benefits, tons of PTO and all holidays off."
"It’s not particularly exciting, rewarding, or fulfilling but it gives me the security and freedom to make my life as exciting, rewarding and fulfilling as possible."
"I am a kennel attendant. I care for and feed both dogs and cats. One of my daily requirements if I have time to do it, is literally to play with a dog/cat or puppy/kitten. It’s called animal enrichment. It’s meant to help prepare them for a life outside the shelter. Doesn’t even feel like a job."
Based on the responses above, it's not unusual for people to find jobs that are fulfilling and make decent wages.
Unfortunately, many workers end up feeling stuck at their jobs because they are settling, but for good reason: the reasonable salary.
But if they're unhappy in spite of a good living wage, is that really the kind of life that's worth living?
There are always better alternatives. If you want to be unstuck, taking a leap of faith is very rewarding.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained right? Go out there and find your dream job!
People Break Down The Most Disturbing Wikipedia Pages They've Ever Come Across
Every now and then, who hasn't found themselves falling down a Wikipedia rabbit hole?
Even if the sources of information found on the page are dubious.
This doesn't stop people from using it as a quick source of information when necessary.
And with links to other pages readily available, people often find themselves learning information which was a far cry from their initial search.
Gaining information that these same people would no doubt be much better off having never learned.
"What is the most disturbing Wikipedia Page?"
"Albert Fish is so disturbing, I remember the first time I read about him I was literally nauseous."- Lazy-Day5802
"I find this as much depressing as disturbing."- YouKeepThisLove
List Of Youngest Birth Mothers
"I think the most heartbreaking thing is that that damn list is so long..."- AliyanaRose
Lawrence Bittaker and Roy Norris
"These guys are some of the worst of the worst."
"During the filming of Silence of the Lambs and working with former FBI agent John Douglas (author of Mindhunter) for some time, actor Scott Glenn thanked him and said how fascinating it was to have been allowed into his world."
"Douglas laughed and told Glenn that if he really wanted to get into his world, he should listen to an audio tape of serial killers Lawrence Bittaker and Roy Norris torturing, and murdering two teenage girls."
"Glenn listened to less than one minute of the tape, and has since said that he feels he lost a sense of innocence in doing so, and that he has never been able to forget what he heard."- sully-fied
The Murders of Channon Christian and Chris Newsom
"The Murders of Channon Christian and Chris Newsom page is pretty bad."- Apartment_Unusual
Less The End Result, More The Process
"It’s not the page that is disturbing, it’s thinking back to where you started and hour ago and wondering what the f*ck happened!"- noigenoigenoige
The Anthill Kids Cult
"The anthill kids cult https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roch_Th%C3%A9riault"- periczache
"What the actual f*ck."
"I should not have read that."- Nico_MyTrueSelf
"The fact that he was underweight after doing all this."
"What the hell did his poop look like since he wasn't digesting properly?"
"Or maybe his stomach acid was TOO strong and there wasn't much nutrition left for his intestines?"- bigmacjames
"I don’t think I was the same person after reading that page and seeing the pictures on it years ago."- 88Smilesz·
Murder of Sylvia Likens
"That's one of the most horrifying things I've ever read."- Trini1113
"There are many things I can read without feeling uncomfortable in this thread."
"But this... is on another level."- Pure-Destruction
"It is very strange and uncomfortable to read the Human page on Wikipedia."- LedZacclin
"The Wikipedia entry on humans makes me uncomfortable."
"Feels like it was written by an AI or by aliens."- Darmok47
Murder of James Bulger
"Haven't seen this posted yet."
"Still baffles me how little kids can kill."
"Changed the justice system in the UK for what it is today."- HighestBounty
Murder of Santos Rodriguez
"Holy sh*t."- UnitedStatesUS·
Wikipedia can be an endless source of information.
At least 80% of which you would probably be much better off not knowing.
The most surefire way of hurting someone is not by physically attacking them but rather by using words.
Indeed, saying something to someone you know will deliberately hurt them will leave a far more lasting impact than any scar or wound.
Petty name-calling or completely false accusations are fairly easily brushed off.
Then there are the things people say to others which can simply never be forgotten, and no amount of forgiveness will ever make them forget.
Words that are so harmful, or information so traumatizing, that the only way to describe it is "f*cked up".
"What was the most f*cked up thing someone said to you?"
Love Is Stronger Than Blood
"I've shared this one before."
"I was adopted when I was three."
"My mother has always been very supportive and a wonderful person, but my dad had a drinking problem and overall was a bit of a sh*tty person."
"When my mom got pregnant, I was 7, and I remember my dad telling me he was so excited to 'finally have his own and first son'."
"There was always favoritism, and in the current day, he and I don't even talk."
"I love my brother to death and hold no ill will, but our father should have been better."- CT3993
Someone Will Always Remember
"My mom told me that she wishes I was never born."
"I wasn't planned but they always told me I was a 'surprise'."
"One day when my mom drank a little more than usual, I told her I love her and she looked me in the eye and said 'I don't love you, f*ck I wish you were never born'."
"I haven't stopped thinking about that, it was just us two in the room when it happened and she doesn't remember it."
"It scared me and I don't think I will forget it."- Commercial_Sea_8817
People Grieve In Their Own Time
"My husband died suddenly when I was 35."
"There's a picture of me at the visitation standing in front of his urn with my brother's arm around my shoulders while I cried."
"My friend said 'I love that picture of your brother supporting you'."
"I said 'Yeah'."
"That's when he told me to suck it up and stop crying."- DevonHexe
All Children Want Is Their Parent's Support
"'I don't love you, or care about you. I only love your sister'."
"Honorable mentions: "
"'I hope you never make it into college'."
"'I hope you have to work a grueling schedule for the rest of your life'."
"Thanks dad."- lcssa
Apparently, So Could Her Husband...
"I had a very complicated pregnancy."
"I found out at 4 months (crazy, I know)."
"I was extremely high risk, and my FIL was asking my husband what he'd do if it he had to choose me or the baby."
"Before hubby could answer, my MIL pipes up with 'Well, if it's her or the baby save the baby you can find a better mother'."
"I WAS STANDING RIGHT THERE."
"Husband lost it."- NickiP5150
Never Pick Yourself Up By Taking Others Down
"To me and my wife."
"We went over for Christmas 10 years ago, my dad was so drunk that they couldn’t stand up."
"He asked if he could hold our six month old child to which we said no."
"My mom who was not as drunk walked over about two minutes later and asked to hold the baby."
"We said okay to that and she immediately turned around and handed our baby to my overly drunk dad."
"A week later we get together with just us and them and tell them if they drink like that around our kids again, we won’t be coming to family events."
"My mom looked straight at my wife and said 'all the problems in this family are because of you'.”
"My wife being taken by surprise by that stuttered her next words and before she could get it out, my mom did that 'to-to-today' mock."
"Needless to say we got up and walked out of their house."- Myworkaccountbrah
So Good To Know They Had Their Support
"I was basically bedridden after an accident left me in constant, debilitating pain."
"My ex screamed in my face to 'just die already'."
"But apparently I'm remembering it wrong and it wasn't that big of a deal."- moxley-me
No Need To Hold Her Feelings Back
"My mom married my stepdad when I was four and we moved out to my step-grandmother's ranch to work it."
"When I was seven, I was told to help my nine year old cousin learn about what to do."
"He whined and b*tched about everything he has to do the entire time."
"I told my stepdad's mother about him 'not being too excited' about it."
"Well, he's the oldest, so this ranch will be his someday," She'd said.
"I'm seven. I don't know how sh*t works, so I ask, 'So I'll be working for Brad here someday?'"
"'No. You're going to be a priest. There's no other use for bastard children,' Was her answer."- wjescott
Children Can Be Cruelest Of All
"In middle school, I was told by a girl named Aubrey that I was a 2/10 and she audibly gagged at me."
"Well guess who’s a 2/10 now, 15 years later?"
"Still me, but f*ck you Aubrey."- itsTonic_
Not Everyone is Meant To Be A Parent
"'My life would have been so much better if you had just died too'."
"My twin died at birth."
"It may be true, but no kid needs to hear that."- bonjelascott
"My dad's speech at my mom's funeral:"
” <mom> and <son> had a close relationship, I’d have preferred to have a daughter'.“
"Not sure how that's relevant for the occasion but ok."
"Either that or the: 'Your mom wanted you, not me'.“
"Many years before that."- Remk0h
Placing Blame Will Never Change Anything
‘"It’s your fault your dad died’ - my mother."
"He had a heart attack on my 14th birthday, I was at school when he had the first one, asleep at night when he had the second that killed him."
"I didn’t get to see him as he told me over the phone to enjoy my birthday."
"That was our last contact."
"I cancelled my plans anyway and stayed at home waiting for my mom and sister to come back from the hospital."
"I still carry that guilt."
"Later, my ex’s mom. ‘It’s no wonder he died having to deal with you as a daughter’ sigh."- FrozenBluebell
Some Things Are Out Of Everyone's Control
"'It shouldn't have been your dad'."
"'It should've been you'."
"'It should've been you'."
"Said repeatedly by my mother, both drunk and sober, after my father's death."
"I think I looked too much like him for her."- berripluscream
Just Plain Cruel
"My ex-husband while we were still married:"
"'I don't find you sexually attractive anymore'."
"I was eight months pregnant with our second child."
"We were in the middle of making love."
'My ex-husband again: Fast forward a year."
"I am still nursing my baby girl when he tells me,
"'Lose weight or I want a divorce'."
"I am 5'5" and weighed 135 lbs when he said that to me, which is exactly ten pounds more than I weighed on our wedding day."- mom_with_an_attitude
They say actions speak louder than words.
But some words leave a much more lasting scar.
Do you have any to add? Let us know in the comments.
People are attracted to who they're attracted to.
We really can't control what revs our engines.
Everybody has a type of what they like in another person and what they don't.
Well, most people do.
There are a rare few who like anyone and anything.
One big attraction issue is height, particularly when it comes to dating apps where people can exclude certain heights.
Redditor xanzznax wanted to hear from all the guys who have been unceremoniously turned away because of height, so they asked:
"What is the best response to 'I don't date short guys?'"
I just like to be the shorter one. Sorry.
But... I'm the small spoon.
NibblesJim Carrey Conan GIF by Team CocoGiphy
"Bite her knees."
"Couldn't reach, went for the ankle instead."
No Hard Feelings
"When on Tinder I wrote my height because I know women have preferences (and some dudes will ridicule the tall woman, short man relationship)."
"When I matched with taller women who also wrote their heights, I would always ask if they where ready for this kind of long distance relationship. They always responded with a laugh, and if they didn't want to date, no hard feelings, they don't owe me anything."
"Adding in a non self-deprecating joke is helpful because it implies you know your height & that some women have preferences but you're still confident and you haven't made it your identity. It shows you have a sense of humor which is very attractive."
"Some shorter people have an insecurity complex and this is what gets in their way of dating compared to the actual height, and when they're like this they're typically unaware that it's their personality that's doing them in but blame it on the numbers."
Is what it is...
"If a woman says I don’t date short guys it’s understandable, a man might feel a bit insecure. I’m not short but I’m skinny and I’ve had many women say things about my size and I’m still a bit insecure about it. I don’t let that insecurity become a problem anymore. I’m of the mindset that I can’t control how I feel, but I can control how I react to my feelings."
POOFGIF by VPROGiphy
"Laugh loudly, disappear with the use of smoke bomb."
If we could all just "Poof" away in difficult situations.
WarningFootball Yes GIF by State FarmGiphy
""Hang a 'you must be this tall to ride' sign around her neck."
"Exactly, if that's their preference, move on."
"Ironically, I've never been 'rejected' in this way by a woman I asked out. Only women I haven't asked out. I have had women tell me they only date tall men or they couldn't date me because I'm short, but it was seemingly random. Like, I hadn't asked them out or shown interest. It's actually kind of hilarious."
"Short guy here, I'm 5'4, I used to get rejected by taller girls a lot, my favorite way to deal with it was just to say thanks for being honest. For some reason they would later introduce me to their friends who were maybe my height or something. A lot of them said that when you handle it like an adult its very attractive, and while they might not like short dudes, they def have a few friends who do."
"Because disliking short guys, tall girls, skinny guys, fat girls etc... is at the end of the day a matter of personal preferences. No matter how much you cry, scream and sh*t yourself about how unfair it is, it won't make you attractive to that person. Just move on with your life and find someone who'll love you for who you are."
Leave it...Amy Schumer No GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy
"I dated a guy who was like 5'6" or something (I'm 5"4'). It super wasn't a problem for me in and of itself. What was a problem was that HE kept BRINGING IT UPPPP!!!"
"All you short guys out there, I always found it EXTREMELY attractive. There are plenty of women who do. So rock the shortness, someone out there is admiring the cut of your gib!"
Be calm in who you are.
Do you have any similar experiences? We'd love to hear about them in the comments.