If you love something it's supposed to be forever right?

Well, if you're one of my regular readers, then you know better by now.

One Reddit user asked:

What did you think you'd always enjoy doing, until the day came when you realized the spark was totally gone?

and the comments were honestly a little heartbreaking.

It's Reddit, so you're typically not looking for any real profound statement on the nature of mankind, depression, and capitalism.

Buuuuuuuuut that's exactly the hellscape we got. Come stroll with us through a graveyard of dead dreams and long-gone joy.

Gamer Growth

Video Games 80S GIF Giphy

Video games.

For most of the first 25 years of my life I loved games. And then one day I sort of just said "why?"

And have really touched any in the last 7 years and haven't had much of a desire to.

- thesheep_1

As much as I enjoy video games...I find as I get older...I have less time for it. Other priorities take place and before I know it...not much free time.

It also doesn't help that gaming companies that I grew up with...are now corporate asshats and not the 'revolutionary' icons they once were (looking at you Blizzard)...the constant 'made for multiplayer online'...f*ck that shit. (looking at you Rockstar).

All my gaming friends slowly move on with their respective paths (having kids, marriage, new job --> new hours, homeowner --> homeowner problems, school-related stuff with kids, maintenance, scheduling appointments with doctors for care of self, or a mechanic to fix your vehicle)

...by the time I get home, I'd almost rather catch up on a TV episode of a popular TV show, because 30-45 minutes is more doable then trying to play Red Dead Redemption 2.

Also, relationships.

I will never forget being a 25 year old and witnessing a former co-worker...a 40-year old single, white, bald, male...who spent his free time playing 'Call of Duty', smoking cigarettes, and drinking cases of shit beer...it made me think "I don't want to be 'that guy' when I get older"

- Supaspex

7 or 8 Other Things 

Playing guitar.

I've played for 20 years and for the first roughly 13 years I could sit and play pretty much all day every day. When I went back to college and started taking my education seriously I started losing interest.

I still pick it up and play but I haven't written any new music in well over a year and most of the time there are like 7 or 8 other things I prefer doing instead.

There were certain people that I collaborated with a lot and some of them still play music and some of them don't but I moved far away enough from them that collaboration wasn't as easy. They were all people I knew in Orange County, CA but then I moved to Los Angeles after college and now I live in Idaho.

There is this one guy in particular that I used to play music with the most. Him and I always kind of understood each others' visions for a piece of music pretty well and just generally really understood how the other approached writing music.

He still writes and records all of the time and he's considering moving out here. If he does I wouldn't be surprised if that ends up being the push to get me really into playing again.

- tim_to_tourach

Doodle Depression

Drawing. I loved to doodle and try and draw whatever popped into my head. Even tried learning new styles to try out but eventually that feeling just slowly died. Drew a few things from a tutorial video a few months back, but that's about it. Pretty depressing honestly.

- staying_golden1

I used to love drawing and painting too, and aced AP art...but now I look at a blank piece of paper and have zero inspiration. It's sad.

- 5leeplessinvancouver

Happier As A Hobby

Nervous Season 6 GIF by Paramount+ Giphy


Loved it as a teen. Made my own grad dress, won an award and a scholarship for my skills. Tried it as a job and it just killed any and all desire for it.

It stopped being fun. It stopped being a creative outlet for me.

It's really sad, cuz I had skills. I've tried to pick it back up in recent years, but I just can't seem to care like I did back then.

- alabardios

Same with knitting for me, which I picked it up as a hobby. Parents realized that I could make useful stuff and tried to push me into selling it. I never want to turn this hobby into a job; it would kill off all the benefits of being a relaxing way to pass the time.

- ladyoffate13

Are you me? Working in the fashion industry is such a goddamn soul suck. I'll probably never go back. I hoped to get my creative inspo back after a sabbatical but it's been almost 4 years since I quit my job and I've barely touched my sewing machine (except to make a handful of masks for a few close friends and family last year).

I hate when people find out I sew and ask me if I can make them something...

- sxeoompaloompa

Reading Used To Be FUNdamental

I was an avid reader since kindergarden up till uni. After that life just got in the way and I never picked up any books for the past 10 years....?

Still reads to my kids tho. Just, I don't have the energy to read mine.

- shfaeman

As child, schoolboy, and student I used to absolutely devour books. I always had one in my pocket or bag.

From Dumas to Dickens I lived in those pages and had travels, adventure, and experiences that still remain clear and potent for me all this time later. When the demands of later adult life made this impossible I felt the loss keenly.

I found that an Audible account was the solution, I can fit books into the interstices of my day, and a good unabridged reading doesn't leave you feeling dissatisfied.

It'll never be the same as the the intense personal connection I had with books from my days as a true reader. But it suffices for these years until I can again.

- DrNecessiter

Obviously a huge chunk of people lamented things they lost in childhood - but childhood wasn't the only lost joy people wanted to talk about. We kind of expect to outgrow things we loved in our younger years anyway, right?

A lot of folks had something they were passionate for even as adults only to have that slip through the cracks as well.

Like Prostitution

Writing. I always thought it'd be a passion I'd have for life, but in the past year or two everything I've tried to write has been sh!t.

Slowly I've stopped even trying.

- Without_Mystery

"Writing is like prostitution. First you do it for love, and then for a few close friends, and then for money. " -- Molière

- tamsui_tosspot

I have been writing since I was seven, got a BA in English, and thought for sure I'd be a famous writer someday.

I very gradually wrote less and less over the years and now I am almost fifty and can barely muster inspiration to to churn out so much as a short poem. Looking back I tend to wonder if it was passion or if it just happened to be something I was good at that earned me praise and that validation is what fueled my motivation.

Now I don't care what people think of me so much so I just watch Netflix instead.😃

- AmyKeeBee

All Of The Above

Everything here.

Playing guitar, writing, video games, I guess I just lost it all.

I'm not in my teens anymore when everything was so deep. I'm just going through the motions of life as a mid 30 year old. Working, and going home and repeat.

The friends have narrowed down to about 1, the job is tolerable at best. I'm drunk now so that's why I'm spilling. I can't find something that gives me that spark but I'm hopeful for the future.

- Omegawolf83

Dude aside from the drunk part and hopeful about the future. Are you me?!??!?!😲

Like for real, I lost interest in writing first, then gaming, have one good friend, work then home, mid 30's... duuuude. And to be honest, losing interest in so much stuff, has had me question if I'm secretly depressed, and just don't know it or what?

- LurkingAintEasy

It's been years since I legitimately looked forward to anything or enjoyed something for any decent period of time.

- Linchey1

Hostile Hostels

Staying in hostels.

I still love travelling and meeting people, but I just can't do the hostel life anymore. I'd much rather have a nice, private bedroom and my own bathroom.

Part of me still dreams about just saving up some money and doing it all over again, but I know I'd be switching to hotels in about 2 days lol

- ObjectivePassenger9

This. I loved it when I was 22 and could meet people and hang out with them, It was a great way to meet interesting people, make fun memories, and see a new city.

But now? F*ck no.

If I stay in a hostel now, I have to have a private room and bathroom because I am not f*cking around with other people.

- FreddieGregg


Under Water Swimming GIF by Outside TV Giphy

I fell out of love with SCUBA.

Firstly I live in England so the waters are somewhat different to the Red Sea.

But when I did do SCUBA, either in England or abroad, I realized a large part of SCUBA is spending time on boats with middle aged men with marital problems who still, nonetheless, need to keep reminding me that they are better than me.

Hence the marital problems, I'm sure.

I always thought it should be an easier and more pleasant experience.

I'm a casual, by the way. I really don't have the inclination to get up early on a Sunday and look at 4 non-descript fish in the English Channel (which I've done, by the way.)

Plus I'm not very good at bragging so this excludes me from 95% of on boat conversations.

I would, however, like to rock up to Jordan or the Caribbean and just say "Look I'm here for a week or so. Lets do 5 dives but I haven't done it for a while, so can we spend some time on the first dive working on my bouyancy?"

I've tried this a couple of times only to get to the dive shop to find out its being run by an English couple. And if there's one thing worse than a middle aged man with marital problems, its an expat middle aged man with marital problems.

- random_username_94

The worst thing about diving, especially in places where you need tonnes of gear, is the people. It just attracts a certain type of men - especially men who are "big strong men" in their own view but whiney b!tches with OCD to me.

These a**holes are sloshing around with fancy gear spending most time on the shore telling other people why they are doing it wrong.

I switched to free diving which I can do alone, and never looked back.

- ragefaze

Well that was kind of a bummer. Sorry about that. But hey lets leave you on a happy note - lots of people don't find the thing they really love until much later in life.

We guess it sort of depends. As who you are shifts, what you love should shift too, right? That's what growth and evolution are about.

One second. One moment. One decision.

They can change... everything.

Change happens with and without notice. Life happens instantly, so we have to learn to keep up.

These are all lessons we learn too late. We need more wisdom when we're younger.

We can make our lives better from the smallest decisions without knowing. But, let's start knowing.

Life will be the better for it.

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