Marriage takes WORK. If both parties aren't willing to put in the effort things get bad pretty fast. The fairytale lie we've been fed of happily ever after has made it difficult for people to grasp what real long-term relationships look like. News flash: it gets messy!
When Redditor CrisP_bacon asked the question “Long term (10+ years) married couples of reddit, Whats was the worst low you've had and why didnt you leave?" the online marriage veterans were glad to share their struggles, and their triumphs.
“I left the Mormon church.”
“I left the Mormon church.”
“For Mormons that frequently means divorce. Temple marriage and the priesthood are a big deal and she assumed that if I was leaving the church it meant I was leaving her too. It was incredibly stressful.”
“I had been pretending to believe since we got married and I figured finally telling her all my feelings would actually make her leave me, after all, no more eternal marriage, broken covenants, "inactive" father to our children, how would she be treated by neighbors/family/other members, etc.”
“I was working two poor jobs at the time and in college. We were barely scraping by even with a good deal on our rent, I was always stressed, and often gone. Our families weren't supportive about my decision. Our neighbors judged. My wife was judged and pitied on every Sunday she went alone.”
“I didn't leave her and I never planned to. She didn't leave me. My wife respected my choices, supported me, and ultimately she ended up leaving too, a few years ago now. I was at the lowest point I had ever been in my life due to the church and leaving it was the best thing I ever did for myself.”
“It will be fourteen years married and sixteen years together this year. We're happy, we're doing well, and our children are thriving.” victorioushack
translate joseph smith GIF by South Park GiphyThey came out as a conspiracy nut, yikes!
“This week. Finding out my wife of 22 years is an anti vaxxer. Her family is religious and there has always been quirks, but she has gone down a full nutcase rabbit hole, fueled by her idiot mother.”
“Sounds like just one thing, but I'm having a hard time imagining getting over it. We've got kids and she's choosing conspiracies over protecting herself for their sake.”
“Edit - why didn't I leave? This is happening in real time. We've got 3 lovely kids and a pretty good thing going. I hope it doesn't end here.”
“Edit - there were clues in the past but I didn't know (not sure she did either) that she was an anti-science, anti-vaxxer until recently. She and her mom share false YouTube videos of "evidence" and wind each other up.” notmyrealnam3
Burnie Burns Conspiracy GIF by Rooster TeethGiphy“I was about to destroy my marriage with their mother for a piece of a**.”
“My wife and I were going through a real funk. We were stressed out, and not getting along very well. Money was a big issue. Things were down to almost nothing in the bedroom. I was just sick of the relationship.”
“And then out of the f*cking blue an old high school crush PMs me on Facebook. We get chatting... we start getting really flirty... a week goes by, and we're talking dirty and planning to meet.”
“On the day we were supposed to hook up - literally hours before our rendezvous- Unsteady by X Ambassadors comes into the radio and I suddenly can't stop thinking about the kids, and how I grew up with no dad in the picture.”
“I felt so stupid and selfish. I was about to destroy my marriage with their mother for a piece of a**. I called it off, went home and asked my wife to sit down. I told her everything.”
“She was upset of course, but we began talking about our problems and they got a lot better. Now we're doing amazing, and I'm so glad I didn't f*ck up. Every time I hear that song I'm reminded of it.” Kajiit_hairball
People Explain The Worst Thing That's Ever Happened To Them On Their Birthday
Poverty is a huge stressor...
“21 years this July. I think it's a mix of good times and bad times. Honestly, the worst moments have been when money's been scarce. That brings he worst out of people. We actually separated once about 9 years ago, we were arguing non-stop and my wife ended up feeling trapped and decided to move out with our youngest.”
“We got over it by working on ourselves and rekindling our relationship, took several months to fix it. On my side, sometimes I too feel trapped for some reasons, like pulling too much weight at home, being the one taking care of more stuff than her, but in the end it's just stupid things.”
“If I left I don't think I'd ever get what I have now. A marriage is not roses always, it takes a lot of effort, compromising, respect, and communication. And lots of sex, not joking.”demoniodoj0
“Grabbed his cup of chips out of his hand and dumped them on the floor at his feet...”
“We're coming up on 10 years and have had only a handful of arguments and verbal fights throughout our marriage, but the most prominent one happened right after he pinned on captain rank (O-3) in the Air Force.”
“When he was an O-1 and O-2, he had been sh!t on quite a bit by higher-ranked officers in his unit, so he himself began to adopt that power-trip attitude as soon as he was promoted. I personally despise that kind of ego especially in a partner, and the more I witnessed him treating other people rudely for no reason, the angrier I got.”
“It came to a head when we were at one of the casinos in Vegas, and he started talking down to and belittling a cashier when she tried to explain why he couldn't cash in his chips at that particular window. I was so appalled and infuriated by his behavior that I snapped right there.”
“Grabbed his cup of chips out of his hand and dumped them on the floor at his feet, snarling that he'd better pick them up to pay for a divorce lawyer because I was done with his sh*t. We had never, ever mentioned divorce before, and it was a bit of a taboo word for him because he was still traumatized by his parents' messy divorce right before we'd gotten married.”
“So for me to bark it at him in public, which is so out of character for me because I never like to make a scene, was the wakeup call he needed.”
“He was stunned and speechless. After a few awkward seconds, I muttered an apology to the cashier and headed back to our hotel room upstairs. It took another few minutes for him to follow me after retrieving all his chips, and by then we were both extremely upset with each other.”
“Many furious words were exchanged--he couldn't believe I would even bring up divorce and I couldn't believe he didn't realize what an ahole he had become--which ended in both of us in tears. It took another few hours, but we managed to talk through the issue. He promised to check himself and take a step back to reflect on the influence his workplace had on him.”
“That was six years ago. He is now an O-4 and the one that all the junior service members in his squadron elect to go to when they need advice or someone to confide in about work. He has gone out of his way to mentor several airmen who asked for his help in preparing for various programs and schools.”
“Every time I attend a squadron function, I see how well-liked he is by his colleagues. I'm proud and relieved that he reverted to being his regular kind self. Now whenever he has an ahat commander rotate into his group's chain of command, I quietly point out that that could have been him if he had continued along the path of douchebaggery, and it makes him shudder.” OrifielM
Some people need to mind their business...
“Is 9 close enough? Was about a year in, and I ended up taking off for a hotel for a few nights. Why? Because I had my toxic, abusive parents and their cronies constantly calling me and telling me how awful my wife was.”
“They'd tell me how she was sick in the head and keeping me from them (I'd cut them off) and that she was abusing me. It got in my head and she suggested I take a few days away, without my phone, to calm down.”
“I made it til 4am that night, realized my parents were terrible people and my wife was wonderfully supportive of me. Called her and went home immediately. Been going great ever since.” tempthethrowaway
“I'm ashamed now...”
“Married 24 years now. Fifteen years ago, my depression got bad. Usually it manifests as dark humor and swearing; that time, it was fury, frustration and vicious emotional aggression.”
“My wife put up with it for a year. I remember my then-young son asking, "are you angry again?" with such a sadness that it tore at my heart (and reinforced to me that I was worthless, not helping the depression).”
“I was never physically abusive, but I'm ashamed now at the brutal pleasure I felt when she cried. Finally, finally, I listened to my wife and talked to my doctor. They eventually got my meds right, or anyway close enough that I was back in my right mind.”
“We stayed together because my wife is stronger than you would believe, and she knew that her real husband was hidden under all that cruelty. She kept us together. I've been grateful ever since.I'm blessed beyond anything I could deserve. Nowadays, I think that I treat her as she should be treated, like a treasure.”
“I wrote this in part so that people in a depression can see how very, very dark it can get. I was controlled by it. I was d*mned near possessed by it. If you get taken by depression, think of this and get help way sooner than I did.” Vox_Popsicle
Not the dog!
“11 years married. Worst low was he was being a complete AH (Screaming at 8 y/o) to one of my younger kids and when daughter (18) stood up to him he tried to sell her dog as punishment. Didn't leave him because I recognized a PTSD episode and got him help. I think it's important to recognize why a behavior is happening. “
“This was NOT his normal behavior. He's former police officer and this was when he had to walk away from a career he loved. It was HARD, but he was willing to accept help and has stayed in therapy for 2 years now."Suspicious_Sassafras
Mental health can be serious.
“Been together since high school (in our 40's now). Our lowest time was after our kid was born. The company I worked for was closing down. I was applying for jobs like crazy and he just didn't.”
“We ended up moving in with my parent for about half a year. He got a job and was fired 2 weeks later. I got a job but had to commute 4+hours each day. I did all of the night wakings with our baby.”
“There were times I was sleeping in 45 min chunks and then waking up at 5 am to get to work by 9 am, leaving work, driving home 2-3 hours in bad traffic, dealing with a super clingy baby, eat dinner go to bed, rinse and repeat. I did this for 3 months before we found a place to rent near my job.”
“We moved, he got a job, was fired 6 months later. Got another job, fired. We had to move out of our nice apartment into a crappy 1 bedroom apartment that was falling apart due to finances.”
“All this time I was doing all the daycare pick ups and drop off, working 40+ hours and doing all the baby care. I even did this when he didn't have a job because I didn't want to lose our spot in daycare. He didn't clean, didn't cook, didn't interact with our kid when I was home. He was always in a bad mood. I got medicated and my depression got slightly better.”
Things did get better with some help...
“He got another job, almost got fired, got a slightly better paying job, got fired, was unemployed for a long time, got another job, got fired. I stayed because I had such bad PPD and anxiety that I could only react. After he got fired the last time I was going to get a divorce. I was done. He was then diagnosed with bipolar.”
“It's been a year and a half since the diagnosis. He is now medicated and did therapy. We are in a much better place. He got a job but the pandemic closed his location. He has completed stepped up and changed.”
“He handles all schooling for our child, cooks dinner, cleans. I make enough now that we can get by on one income until the pandemic ends. We are friends again and I now like spending time with him. We are still healing from the years of crap but we are in it for the long haul.” darksideoftheday
An emotional affair.
“l caught my wife in an emotional affair that likely, would have turned physical but I'll never really know. I was going through a weird depression and had been pretty physically and emotionally distant for about a year so it's not exactly shocking that she developed feelings for another person but it still completely crushed my world and my stomach still gets in knots sometimes randomly 2 years later.”
“Any time I've mentioned this on Reddit though I get a bunch of comments telling me I should have left her and she will do it again, and it's just not worth it. For the record, we're doing great now and oddly enough the entire awful experience and very nearly ending our marriage made our marriage stronger and I trust her that she'd never want to hurt me like that again and I'm determined to never make her feel lonely or ever allow that kind of space for another person again.” BigBicNic
“I caught him googling divorce statistics and how to get a divorce.”
“Married almost 14 years. Having babies was not good for our relationship. We had three kids in quick succession. My hormones were out of whack for about five years, and he wasn't great dealing with small kids. There were times when I was counting down the days until I could go back to work and save enough money to leave, and I caught him googling divorce statistics and how to get a divorce.”
“We worked through it. Even on our worst days, even when I wanted out, I just kept thinking how much I'd rather have him in my life than out of it. I don't know why he decided to stay.”
“And even though 2020 was rough financially (he was laid off twice and I wasn't working much), it actually seemed to bring us closer. I'm so glad that we stuck it out. Things are never going to be perfect, but I'm very grateful to have him.“ Bay-Area-Tanners
Sometimes all you can do is cry over a beer.
“Just over the 10 year mark. Our worst period came just after the birth of our daughter. She was born with duplexed kidnies and urethra. That's quite common, but she had the worst of it, and for the first three years of her life was in hospital for at least two years; constant UTIs, countless bouts of sepsis, and few critical care stays, four bouts of major surgery, including serious heart problems caused by that."
“Me and my wife were like chalk and cheese during those years. I had my head buried in the sand and put all my eggs in the doctor basket. My wife had that same faith, but read up on absolutely everything."
“As she was living in hospital with our daughter, I was at home with our son. It was a very odd time, where we were like ships in the night. We were both depressed and struggling to cope. You don't see it at the time, as you just take each day as it comes... But when you stop and look back at what you've been through, it can be overbearing to put it all into context."
"Had many a full on breakdown whilst out with my best friend having a beer during that time. That entire period was a strain on the two of us. I think it's fair to say there were quite long periods where we absolutely hated each other."
"There were points I know she had contacted divorce lawyers, and at least a month where we officially separated. We're over that period now, and whilst my daughter is still on medication, she's not had any serious complications in several years now, so all is good."
"It was one hell of a storm though." hellsmk2
Abusive employers are still all too common.
“Sorry, this got long! But I guess the story of a good relationship is rarely short ¯_(ツ)_/¯ Been together almost 12 years. About 3 years ago we were going through a terrible time. We had just finished college, his parents coerced him into turning down a good job offer in his field to help run their business.”
“They gave him some pretty lofty promises.Instead, his father drove the business into the ground and spent the family into astronomical debt before drinking himself into an early grave. Because he lied on his insurance forms about his health, the family got nothing. Despite his many flaws he'd been more like a father to me instead of a father in law, and it was devastating.”
“I was working absolute garbage, grunt jobs, getting paid minimum wage. I was trying to get a few years experience in my field in order to work my way into a better place, but it just wasn't enough money. I barely made enough to cover my own bills, putting a lot of financial strain on my husband.”
“Eventually I had a mental breakdown and had to completely quit because my job was so abusive I couldn't take it anymore. I went on unemployment, which paid less than I was already making. A lot of other things were going on during this time, but the bottom line was I felt unsupported emotionally, and very bullied by him. He felt that I was not being an equal partner to him, that I was living like a teenager in our home while he was the parent who had to take care of everything.“
“I honestly stayed for reasons that are not healthy.”
“I wasn't trying to pull my weight because I was severely depressed and hurting. It seemed no one in my life cared about the terrible things that had happened to me at my former work place, and I just felt abused all over again by everyone around me. No one even asked me if I was ok, not even my husband."
“I felt like no one cared about me at all. He didn't care what I was going through because he felt the weight of the world on his shoulders, he couldn't take on any more. It took a lot of fights, a lot of listening, swallowing of hard pills and apologies from both of us. Also, healing and growing aren't linear."
“Even after acknowledging our hurts and faults, we both relapsed into our toxic behaviours several times over the past couple of years. Forgiveness isn't linear, either. Sometimes you really have to work at it, and point out to yourself the difference between holding a grudge and seeing a pattern."
"My husband worked his @ss off and not only got the family nearly out of debt in just a few years (we are talking in the hundreds of thousands here), he's got the family business positively blooming. I have done a lot of hard work of my own. I've kept the same job for years now, and I'm going back to school for something more profitable that I will enjoy."
"I've also been working on some side hustles that are going well. We have a beautiful, happy home, and we're both trying every day to be our best selves. Why did we stay together? TBH, from the outside looking in, I probably would have just told myself to leave."
"It wasn't working and there wasn't any sign that it would get better. I honestly stayed for reasons that are not healthy. Mostly because I felt like I couldn't leave, I'd been here and with him for too long. I hated the idea of him moving on with someone else, it fuelled my toxic feelings which kept me trapped."
"I don't know why he stayed, other than that he loves me and so remained hopeful that we could fix things. I guess we were both just lucky that underneath it all we are reasonable and kind people, so we were able to crawl out of the mess." poisonergranny
When tragedy struck...
“34 years married here. Our lowest point was when our 9 year old son was hit by a car. I went into a deep depression after his death and couldn't cope. It really brought out the worst in both of us. We handled it differently and really struggled to make sense of it all. It was a few really tough years but we stayed together and tried to work through it all.”
“My husband finally recognized my behaviours and lack of interest in anything, including the fact I left my job, as depression and found me professional help. It was a long road, but we made it through and grew closer after. When things go bad, you have to really fight to hold a marriage together, but it's worth it. Don't give up.” cardixa00
Needed some connection.
“16 years coming up soon. The darkest moment was probably the first year of marriage. New city away from her family and friends, stressful job, and I was working during the day and going to school at night for a masters degree.”
“She cried. A lot. But we made it and we have been forever grateful for the time we have together, knowing how awful it was when we couldn't be together.” billionthtimesacharm
GIF by AM to DMGiphy“It was a painful refresher class.”
“F married to M for over 25 years. When my son was 10 he got diagnosed with a brain condition. I became obsessed with taking care of him. Three years later he was diagnosed as stable and it was the first time I felt he wouldn't need surgery.”
“That's when I realized how neglectful I had been to my husband. He was kind. He still loved me. But he thought I didn't love him anymore.”
“We separated for a while, but everytime I brought up divorce he would say no. I wanted him to move back, but he would say to give him time. We didn't talk for about two months. And then he contacted me, begging for my forgiveness. We began to date again, eventually he moved back home.”
“I'm telling the facts, but the emotions were flying high. While apart, we would talk for hours on the phone. We became closer and got to know each other really well again. It was a painful refresher class. I hope we never take each other for granted again.“ aubor
Sometimes it’s the quiet moments.
“We have been married over 20 years and had a lot of stress and times when everything around us went wrong. But the lowest point was a time when there was nothing really wrong in our lives, but we grew apart, and each of us seemed to feel that the other person was the enemy. But we were able to work our way through it because I think we both knew it was the best option for us both.“ Ok_Huckleberry6820
Therapy should not be stigmatized, it helps.
“Married 9 but together 13 so I think this counts. Both of us had sh!tty childhoods and plenty of baggage left over from them -- but not the same exact baggage, so over time you start getting annoyed at the other person for not understanding your crap, because their crap-handling technique is different and you know they don't like how you handle yours."
“We eventually got into a nasty dysfunctional cycle where everyone feels misunderstood and no one feels taken care of, and no one feels safe to be themselves because 'being yourself' apparently sets off the other person, and it's really hard to break out of that when everyone feels angry and no one wants to stuff their feelings about it anymore, and so on."
"We started doing EFT couples work (emotionally focused therapy) during the pandemic -- online therapy is a lot easier to wedge into our schedules than in-person. We are working on hard stuff. I spend most Wednesdays feeling drained. It is 1000% worth the time, money, and effort."
"I was never actually considering leaving because I always knew I could throw the 'that's it, we need to do some actual couples work' card, and that that would probably improve things. I think any couple where the partners come from a tricky background will run into a patch like this and will need to do this kind of work. People like us, our default attachment mode does not lend itself to happiness by default. I am very happy that we are working on this sh*t." withbellson
Relationships take work, dedication, and self reflection from both parties. Hope these couples continue staying safe and in love.
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Indigenous Americans Share Their Tribe's Best Ghost Stories And Legends
Reddit user A_KULT_KILLAH asked: 'Native Americans of Reddit, what are your or your tribes ghost stories, legends, or supernatural occurrences?'
People the world over develop their own specific folklore, heavily influenced by the natural world around them and their own culture.
The North American continent was no different.
Reddit user A_KULT_KILLAH wanted to know about the myths and legends of the Indigenous peoples of North America.
They asked:
"Native Americans of Reddit, what are your or your tribes ghost stories, legends, or supernatural occurrences?"
Here are some of the interesting legends and superstitions of North America's First Nations and Indigenous tribes.
Uktena
Brice Cooper on Unsplash
"Uktena. It's a legend about a horned snake in Tsalagi [Cherokee] legend. Uktena is said to be very large and round like a tree trunk, with horns on his head."
"The only way to wound him is to shoot at a singular spot on his forehead that emits bright light. It's similar to a diamond. If you defeat Uktena, you become a miracle worker."
"A great warrior. Yet, once you see the light of his forehead, you run toward it instead of trying to escape."
"Even to see Uktena sleeping is death. Not to the hunter, but to his family."
~ Faith-Hope-TacoBell
Dog Tails or Why They Sniff Each Other
gotdaflow on Unsplash
"Lenni Lenape story about why dogs sniff each other's butts."
"When the humans slept, dogs would get together and party, but not before taking their tails off. They'd dance the entire night, put their tails back on and return home."
"But one time a wolf found them and all the dogs had to scramble away to their homes for safety, but a lot of them grabbed the wrong tail."
"They never danced again at night because they were afraid of the wolf, so they were stuck with weird mismatched tails for the rest of their lives."
"This is the reason that dogs sniff each other's butts; to see if the other dog has their tail."
~ ChurroChick
Haida Raven Brings Light to the Earth
Cristina Glebova on Unsplash
"In the beginning there was no light in the world, because an old magician kept it hidden in a box inside his house. Raven, who was always hungry, didn't like the darkness because it was difficult to find food."
"One day he was looking for food near the old magician's house. He heard a voice saying, 'I have a box, and inside this box is another box, and inside this there is another box, and inside the smallest box is all the light in the world'."
"Raven decided to steal the light."
"Raven waited until the old man's daughter went down to the river to collect water. Just as she was dipping her basket into the river, he changed himself into a hemlock needle."
"The needle floated into her basket. When the girl drank some water, she swallowed Raven too."
"Inside the girl's belly Raven took the form of a human baby. He grew and grew, and in time she gave birth to a funny looking child with black eyes and a big nose."
"The old man loved his grandson so much that he gave in to the child's every wish. Raven became spoilt and greedy. He was bored with all his toys, and wanted to play with the box that held the light."
"Finally the grandfather opened the box and tossed the glowing ball of light to Raven."
"As soon as Raven caught the light, he immediately changed into his bird form. Holding the light in his beak, he flew up the chimney hole into the dark world."
"The magician was angry. He wanted to get the light back into his box."
"He flew after Raven."
"The light was heavy in Raven's beak, and he was getting tired. The magician was coming closer."
"Raven broke off some pieces of the light and threw them into the sky. They became the stars."
"The magician was still coming closer, so Raven broke off another piece of the light and threw it into the sky. It became the moon."
"Finally Raven became so tired that he tossed the last and biggest piece of the light into the sky. It became the sun; and that is how daylight came to the world."
~ deviety
Nakani
Oliver Roos on Unsplash
"Dené from northern British Columbia here, my mom used to always tell me stories of the Nehgunni [Nakani], or bushmen/wild-men when I was young."
"They were people who lived in the forest and took away people who wandered too far out, specifically children."
"I always figured these stories were created by my people to serve two purposes, first to teach young children to not wander far off, and second to give explanations to kidnappings or missing people."
~ spanishLION
See-at-coh
green trees near lake under blue sky during daytimePhoto by Jasper Gronewold on Unsplash"See-at-coh (don't know the translation in English) is a Cowlitz legend. Lived at this lake and it was his spot."
"We DO NOT go there or he will kill you. Used to have nightmares about him based on what I was taught as a kid."
"Like how you could stand at the edge of the water and be looking in and he would come out of it and just grab you. No whistling at night and keep windows covered."
"But then the mountain blew up [Mt. Saint Helen] and filled in the lake so don't know if he's still around or not."
~ kalimah1
Nahual of Mexico
Joshua Wilking on Unsplash
"I live in rural Mexico. There are many, many different Indigenous peoples in what's now Mexico."
"The ones who settled here speak Nahuatl—the language of the Aztecs. This legend took place in the early 1900's."
"One of my favourite Nahuatl myths is the Nahual."
"Some people were thought to be able to turn into an animal. Most of them could only turn into one, but the most powerful Nahual could turn into different animals."
"There was a man who owned a hacienda where my town is, and he had a sort of overseer that everyone was afraid of."
"Said overseer could take a message all the way to the next state (think hundreds of miles) and bring back a sealed response in a single day."
"He also seemed to know everything everyone did, all the time. He was rumoured to be a Nahual that could turn into a coyote and an eagle."
"His quarters were heavily warded in his absence, which only added fuel to the rumor. You can only kill a Nahual if you find the human skin he sheds to transform and burn said skin."
~ CTalina78
Yamǫ́rıa & Yamǫǫ̀zha
Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash
"Yamǫ́rıa & Yamǫǫ̀zha—the giant twins [of the Dené]."
"There are landmarks all around the territory I live in that is exhibited as 'proof' they were alive."
"In the middle of the Mackenzie river( biggest river in the NorthWest Territories) there is a large stone sticking out of the river which looks like the petrified guts of a beaver, there is a giant branchless, leafless tree sticking out of the top of this stone."
"It is said that Yamǫǫ̀zha had hunted a giant beaver and gutted him there in the river. He used his spear to anchor down the cuts so fish may feed on them. They are still there to this day."
"Yamǫ́rıa's body can be seen laying down, it is essentially a mountain range that looks like a giant human laying on his back, completely with face and feet. This can be seen from the peak of the hill as you enter a town called Ft. Liard, the southwestern most town in the NWT."
Walking Sam of the Pine Ridge Reservation
Boston Public Library on Unsplash
"'Walking Sam' skulks in the shadows of the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation in South Dakota and convinces people to take their own lives, especially young people."
"He's 7 feet tall, very thin and has no mouth. When he stretches out his long arms, nooses hang down with Lakota children hanging from them."
"Walking Sam finds you when you're alone and puts thoughts in your head until you feel worthless and kill yourself.
"Sometimes Walking Sam is depicted looking like Abraham Lincoln, complete with the stovepipe hat. 'Walking Sam', 'Uncle Sam', I don't know if that's where the name came from."
"But Walking Sam is an evil infected upon the people when the Oceti Sakowin were forced onto the reservations; he isn't a legend of the people before Pine Ridge Reservation existed."
"Lincoln was President when the Lakota were being forced onto reservations. Lincoln also ordered the execution of 38 Lakota men the day after Christmas in 1862. It's the largest mass execution in U.S. history."
"I always thought Walking Sam was Lincoln. They carved his face onto Ŝa´kpe Tuŋkaŋŝi (Mount Rushmore was called Six Grandfathers) in the Paha Sa´pa (Black Hills)
"My Father attended Holy Rosary boarding school at Pine Ridge in the 1940s & 1950s, but our people didn't live on the reservation. My Grandmother said evil stalked the people there."
"My Father never wanted us to ever even visit any of our cousins or his Uncles there."
~ LakotaGrl
Este Lopocke or Este Lubutke
Morgane Perraud on Unsplash
"Miccosukee [Seminole] tribal member here (South Florida) and for us it's the little people."
"Essentially really small people (like barbie doll sized and smaller) that live in the trees. They play jokes and stuff mainly, unless you piss them off."
"Had family members get tricks played on them that couldn't be explained."
"And then we have our fair share of stories that circulate our reservation like a tribal member being taken by the little people."
"All on the reservation in the Everglades (like 40 mins west of Miami)."
~ SSBMBabyCakes
Haudenosaunee Rules
Chris Chow on Unsplash
"I know the Haudenosaunee [Iroquois Confederacy] rules."
"1. If you hear someone you know calling your name, but you also know they are not supposed to be there, DON'T respond. Especially if they are out of sight and insisting you come to them."
"2. Always play group games in counter-clockwise order, otherwise your playing with the dead."
"3. Also don't eat in the dark, this is considered inviting the dead to eat with you. If you can extend your hand all the way out and still see it clearly then your fine."
"4. Don't play card games past midnight. If you do, and someone knocks at the door, don't answer it."
"5. Try not to drop your cards, if you do then don't bend down to pick them up, or you will see hooves under the table. That's bad."
"6. Say thank you after meals, even if you're the one that made it. Even better if you say it in native tongue."
"7. If someone finishes their meal and says thank you, you say 'you're welcome', even if you didn't give it to them. Even better in native tongue."
"8. After someone dies, you should gather family as quickly as possible to have feasts for 10 days. The first dinner is large, then every meal after that is a smaller feast meant for portions of the family to come at different times to help.
"The last feast on the 10th day is the closing dinner, which is the largest, with the entire family expected to show up and help. For every meal of these 10 days, put out a plate of the deceased's favorite foods first."
"Contrary to rule 6, you do not say thank you at any time during these 10 days. This is because it is believed that it takes the dead 10 days to relive their lives before they pass on, so this is your last chance to eat with them."
"Saying 'Thank you' during this time will make them stop before they're done because you're saying you're done. This will have bad consequences."
"9. Don't try to contact spirits, especially with board games. This is not a tribe custom, it's more of an unspoken common sense among the Rez people."
"10. If a bird flies into your house, someone's going to die."
"11. Pregnant woman should not hold any child that isn't theirs."
"12. It's accepted that if you actually try to curse someone, literally going through all of the steps with the intention of harm, not accidentally wishing them bad luck, then your family will also be cursed horribly."
"13. If you play with fire you'll wet the bed."
~ kinda-always-hungry
To learn more general information about Indigenous mythology of the United States, visit the Smithsonian's National Museum of the American Indian website.
For Canada, visit the First Nations in Canada website.
For information about specific tribes, visit their tribal government website for recommended resources.
People Break Down The Most Disturbing Thing They've Ever Casually Been Told
Every now and again, when talking to a friend or family member, a rather shocking piece of information might casually slip out.
Information one imagines they wanted to keep secret for as long as they possibly could.
In some cases, it's something embarrassing, that everyone will be able to laugh about with the passage of time.
In other cases, however, it's information that stuns us silent.
Learning something we wish we hadn't.
Redditor DarthAbhinav11 was curious to hear the most disturbing information people have ever been casually told or overheard, leading them to ask:
"What is the most disturbing thing you've heard said casually?"
An Acquired Taste
"I work in a deli and some lady asked me to cut her ham extremely thin to the point of seeing through it."
"I heard her justify it as 'so you can get rid of the ham taste'."
"I still think about this one."- Alternative_Net8931
Utterly Horrid
"When I was walking to my front door."
"My neighbor had their window open and was scolding their 3 year old adopted child."
"She was howling crying."
"'Do you want mommy to send you back?'"- BoredBSEE
It Arrives Sooner Than You Think...
At Macy's, two teen girls: 'Women over 30 have the ugliest elbows'."
"'OMG. I know'."
"'Very disturbing'."
"'I always ask my mom to wear long sleeves when we go out to eat'."- CapitalPhilosophy513
Never Too Late
"I when younger I worked at a pool and had to lifeguard senior aerobics classes."
"Most participants where 65+."
“'Where’s so and so'.”
“'Oh he won’t be here, his wife was put into hospice'.”
“'Well I feel bad for him, but we do need some more single men around here'."
"'He’s not bad looking, has a retirement too'.”- CuriousOne9320
Round And Round It Goes...
"'If the Earth is spinning, then why my front door is always facing east?'"- SuvenPan
"Something I once heard a passing stranger say for which I have no context: 'He wears a scarf around his neck so you can't see where he's decaying'."
"I've been curious for years and it annoys me that I'll never know."- xyanon36
Breaking Up Is Hard To Do
"An ex after I ended things 'I don’t understand, if I want to be in a relationship with you but you don’t want to be in a relationship with me why do you get to win?'"- TinyFurryHorseBeak
Not His Decision To Make
"Was at an end of season event for my kid's baseball team when he was little."
"The coaches brought Italian ice for everyone."
"Mom has just served her kids and husband and comes back with her own."
"As she's sitting down to eat, I hear her husband loud whisper behind her something like 'absolutely not'."
"'You don't need any more calories'."
"I just watched her face fall."
"I can't imagine what their marriage must look like behind closed doors and what life must be like for her."
"Heartbreaking."
"Note that this woman was already probably a size 2 at most so this was not a scenario where there were serious weight-related health problems."
"This guy was just a jerk and this really wasn't the first time that season, but his reminders that they aren't living up to his standards were usually aimed at his kids on the field."
"I try to assume the best of people but that guy sucked."- littleirishpixie
The Truth Hurts
"I was in an accident once and was hospitalized."
"The accident left me severely disfigured."
"I was out of my mind on pain meds when I arrived at the hospital and told my family to call my girlfriend and let her know what happened and where I was."
"My mom called my girlfriend and my sister not knowing the particulars of my life called my ex."
"Neither knew the other had called and both ended up showing up."
"They arrived within an hour of one another while I was asleep."
"Since someone was there with me it gave my family a chance to go home and take a break."
"So I woke up to my ex and my girlfriend talking to one another."
"Obviously my girlfriend was mad my ex was there and things got heated between the two."
"My ex being level headed suggested they step into the hall since I was half awake and in no condition to deal with the drama."
"As they're arguing in the hall voices are being raised until finally a nurse comes to reign the situation in."
"The nurse breaking them up made my girlfriend leave."
"As she was leaving she yelled 'you can have his a**'."
"'It's not like I wanna be with some burnt up scarred dude anyway'."
"'He's f*cked'."
"At this point I was still bed ridden and hadn't seen a mirror."
"I was aware my body was f*cked but had no idea what I actually looked like."
"Hearing that was such a gut punch and it really messed with my head at the time."- Burnvictim49percent
Where To Even Begin?
"I am a tutor."
"I heard some of my students say ;What's the point in learning history? We should live in the present'."
"We are German."- GentlemanPirate13
Most of the time, when a friend or family member warns us or apologizes for sharing "too much information" or "TMI", what we've heard isn't that shocking in the grand scheme of things.
Indeed, as evidenced by the sad and shocking stories above, when people really share TMI, they often have no idea they're doing so.
There are rules in life where people are expected to just know how to operate without being told.
For instance, if someone falls down... help them.
When you like a sweater in a store... get money to buy it.
Just leaving with it won't go over well.
And there are more rules, or guidelines to adhere to...
Redditor christygl7 wanted to hear about what is expected in people's homes without words, so they asked:
"What's an unwritten rule in your household?"
If you have to pee... lift the seat cover.
The people in Port Authority always miss that one.
Routine
Cleaning Chores GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy"Either my wife or I can do any chore when noticed. We thank each other for routine chores as we appreciate each other."
cwsjr2323
"That’s how my fiancée and I handle chores. Whoever’s around when the core needs to be done does the chore, typically. I find she does more regular cleaning of the whole apartment while I do more dishes and cooking."
radtech91
Trashed
"Replacing the trash bag IS PART OF taking out the trash."
UndiagnosedReptard
"Similar to this, in my house, the rule is if the toilet paper ended on your turn (or there’s barely enough for the next person) then it is your job to procure the next roll and put it in the bathroom. It is NOT acceptable to let it run out for the next person."
wavesnfreckles
"We have extra stored in every bathroom. I make sure of it. However, if it runs low/out on the roll, my wife will 100% of the time take the new roll and set it on top of the empty tube on the spindle, refusing to replace it. I actually called her over and shamed her into changing it in front of me the other night (not in an abusive way - we were both laughing about it)."
on_the_nightshift
Finder's Keepers
"If you find money in the laundry while you are doing the laundry, it's yours."
Rich1926
"Yep. My boyfriend learned that lesson the hard way when we first started living together. He had a bad habit of just crumpling up bills in a big wad in his pocket, usually just ones, but sometimes he accidentally leaves a twenty in there. I tipped myself the twenty. It took him a couple of days of trying to figure out where it went before I took pity on him and told him."
"He now both turns out his pockets and washes his own clothes. I still find the occasional single dollar in the dryer."
Head_Razzmatazz7174
Dropped something?
"If food is dropped on the floor it becomes the property of the dog. The dog knew this rule before we did."
Altruistic-Bit-9766
"That was one of the hardest things after our family dog died. Dropped something? Who cares! Riley will get it. But then he didn’t."
"Also, I don’t live at home anymore but coming home to him barking and crying out of excitement and greeting me always made my day and I looked forward to it every time I opened the door and could hear him wiggling in excitement on the side hahaha. It’s a little less exciting coming home now."
ohno807
Obligations...
Water Stay GIF by Kinda FunnyGiphy"If the water you take from the Brita pitcher leaves what’s left below a certain line, you are obligated to refill the pitcher on penalty of death."
halcyon3608
If you stay in my home and don't refill the Brita pitcher...
I'm setting your hair on fire at 3 AM!!!
Flushed
Go Away Pink GIF by HacklockGiphy"Check the toilet after you flush."
NANNYNEGLEY
"This. My brother-in-law never does this. It's annoying and disgusting! You don't want to clean up after yourself because you think it's gross? How do you think it makes me feel to clean up after you?"
purplestarsinthesky
WAKE UP!
"Wake someone up if their alarm goes off. It's a pretty weird one but setting up alarms is a conscious and deliberate decision for all of us and you want to wake up when it goes off, so we just help each other out."
DonMartiniMacaroni
"I'll do this a few times, but my roommate needs to learn not to hit snooze because he's taught his body that alarms don't need to be woken up to. I don't wake him up anymore. He started waking up to them."
stumblinbear
"I’ll wake them up because it annoys me when people snooze especially if I’m next to them in the bed and I don’t have to get up."
chill90ies
No Exceptions!
"Shoes off at the door. No exceptions."
Next-Dark-4975"
"Shoes-on people must not be using the same public bathrooms that I do. 100% of them have a lake of dirty urine in front of the urinal. They must also be amazing at finding two urine-free spots that are shoe-sized on the shores of said lake. It’s fine if they want to bring that into their homes. It’s not allowed in mine, though."
Bmadray
Table Manners
"No tech at the table."
"Even with a teenage daughter this has proved eerily easy; we all love food though!!"
"Also murder is out of the question, it is non-negotiable. If any of us kills another then they are outlawed in the true sense."
"Other than this, we are pretty cool."
Dante2005
Woof
Well Done Applause GIF by MOODMANGiphy"Let the dog out to go potty before you use the restroom. (Seriously, the dog is asking to go out and you think she can wait while you take a 30-minute poop first? Not cool.)"
InfiniteBackspace
Always let the dogs go first.
If you wait, you won't like the surprise they leave!
Products That Don't Really Work But People Still Buy For Some Reason
Sometimes we look at a product and think "who would buy that, and why?"
For me the "Flowbee" home haircutting tool comes to mind. If you're unfamiliar, it's a shaver you attached to your vacuum cleaner so you hair was pulled past cutting blades.
It was sold on late night infomercials in the 1990s.
Who wouldn't want to style their hair like this?
As fabulous as that looks, results did vary with most veering toward "yikes!" yet by 2000 the company reported 2 million were sold.
And *surprise* you can still buy one—for about $150.
It seems no matter how bad a product is, someone will buy it.
Reddit user NoBridge255 asked:
"Which product doesn't work as it should, but people still buy it?"
Unflushable Wipes
"Septic tank safe flushable toilet wipes."
"The gentleman that pumps our tank brought me outside to see the evidence when his hose clogged. Sorry about that, Clint."
~ TwinkleToesMamaFox
"Amen! I work water and sewer for the town I live in, 80-90 percent of the sewer issues are from a huge chunk of 'flushable wipes'. Yea, they went down the toilet then gathered up in the city's main!"
~ Uhhhhhhhhhusername
Don't Tear Here
"Any cardboard package with perforated 'Tear Here' lines."
"They never tear there."
~ nino2244
"As an engineer, one of my peeves is a product where the perforation is the structurally strongest part of the whole thing."
~ UlrichZauber
Useless Cleanse
"Anything that is supposed to cleanse, flush, or remove 'toxins' from one's body."
~ MR_NIKAPOPOLOS
"People forget that we have organs in our bodies that do this already."
~ augdog71
Brace Yourself
"Those silly copper bracelets that supposedly do everything from healing things to fixing your golf game."
~ cmparkerson
Printless
"Every printer I have ever purchased no matter how expensive is the flakiest of products I ever own. Wifi constantly disconnects, PC's constantly have connectivity problems with them no matter if it is USB, WIFI or ethernet or all three."
"When you finally connect to them unless you print on them every week they will no longer work, ink will leak, or be dry and the printer is destroyed."
"Get a laser printer? You now skip the ink drying issues but the other issues still remain. That device has dementia."
~ Slobbadobbavich
Lowest Bid
"Whenever something is marketed as 'military grade', I recall the DOD-procured wrench that broke on me right after I removed the tape from it."
~ QaPlaH1981
"Military grade simply means 'made within our generally vague specifications for the lowest price'."
~ richwarlockfinger
The Glitches
"The Sims 4 expansion packs."
~ imperialviolet
"I miss the days where games had to work out the box and didn't rely on day 1 patches or, hell, with The Sims it's like 6 months after they finally patch out 25% of the glitches."
~ McRibSucks
Bladder Uncontrolled
"Living with my mother who was incontinent near the end of her life….all 'medical supply' style adult disposable diapers. Depends and McKesson ought to be a shamed of themselves for putting out such godawful products."
"Thank God for the folks at Northshore Care. They actually made products that did what they were supposed to do."
"And it allowed my mother to sleep soundly at night and function throughout the day without having to worry about feeling embarrassed in front of others."
~ Flynn_lives
Ax The Axe
"Pretty sure no woman has smelled Axe body spray and thought ‘I really wanna have sex with him, he smells amazing!'."
~ frodosbitch
"As a woman I can confirm, I despise the scent of Axe body spray."
~ GirlMayXXXX
"Can confirm, makes me nauseous and want to run away."
~ Myhairison_fire
Can Mangler
"Every can opener ever purchased from a dollar store."
~ Theearthhasnoedges
"Man, it feels like every can opener these days. Growing up we had the same can opener for YEARS and now I feel like I need a new one every year."
~ dougielou
Fire Hazard
"Gas cans with their mandated safety spouts. It takes two hands to operate them."
"Very unwieldy, especially when filling small tools like chain saws. Often leads to spillage."
~ Fablabster
"The annoying irony is that they were created to stop spillage, yet they are so difficult to operate, that I have spilled far more fuel since the change than I EVER spill with a regular old funnel."
~ CivilRuin4111
Don't Tell Snuggle
"Fabric softener dryer sheets ruin the absorbency of your bath towels."
~ Other_Molasses2830
"Also ruins wicking fabrics—clothing that is designed to dry quickly"
"And ruins fleece—destroys the soft/fluffiness."
~ 0ttr
Viral Load
"Personal AntiVirus software. It all sucks and doesn’t effectively work."
"And even then, the most effective is actually Windows Defender which is built in and free."
~ pentesticals
Close Shave
"Disposable razors. Especially the 3-5 blade ones that cost a ton of money."
"I avoided shaving because anything other than a single pass from a trimmer would irritate the hell out of my skin."
"I tried out a unbranded basic safety razor, and the difference is unbelievable. Far less irritating that an electric razor and the disposable razors. Takes fewer passes to actually get shaved. And the blades cost pennies, so you can literally use a fresh blade every time if you heart so desires."
"I have no idea how the advertising industry convinced us that modern 3+ blades nightmares are remotely good."
~ SelectCase
🤦♂️🤦♀️🤦
"Memory soles. The ones you put into your shoes."
"I bought them, put them in my shoes, went upstairs and STILL forgot what I went up there for."
"Don't be fooled people. They do not work."
~ KittySpanKitty
I never bought a Flowbee, but I have fallen victim to can openers.
Many, many can openers. Pull-tops are my friend.
What products would you add to the list?