Few things can feel as emotionally devastating as the end of a long term relationship. All the time you've invested can feel like a waste when you're busy packing things up and figuring out how to restart your life. (I've gone through this once myself, and trust me, it's hard.)
After Redditor Bma1500 asked the online community, "Folks whose long term relationships/marriages ended, what surprised you the most about suddenly navigating life as a single person again?" people shared their stories of hope and resilience after breaking up. It's probably the balm some of you need at this moment in time.
"We were together since we were young..."
How much of my life was dedicated to the relationship. My schedule, my hobbies, my sleep hours, my feeding. Everything changed after our marriage ended. We were together since we were young so I think it was natural our life's were tied to some degree but not so much. I had to start over most of my life, like if I was starting a new character on a video-game.
"Took me months..."
Suddenly not having someone to talk to in between everything else you do. I never realised that at every free moment I would pull out my phone and have messages to reply to from my SO which meant I was always busy.
Suddenly, I had nothing to do in the gaps between. Took me months to retrain my brain not to immediately reach for my phone and open up messenger. Who the hell am I going to tell about all the mundane, inconsequential but amusing stories and anecdotes that happen throughout my day now?
"How quickly my ex and I..."
GiphyHow quickly my ex and I became friends. I thought we would resent each other and be hateful, but it turned out we are better off as buddies. Now his wife is one of my best friends and our kids adore each other.
"I am not only capable..."
How capable I am! My ex convinced me I needed him to take care of things around the house. Once he left, I made bookcases, used the chainsaw on the woodpile, took a long camping road trip alone, spread 18 cubic yards of mulch in 3 days, fixed the bathroom sink stopper, replaced the "guts" in the toilet tank, saved more money than ever before, and so much more. I am not only capable of doing more around the house, but I can also do it all better and faster.
"Literally the moment..."
Literally the moment when the judge pronounced us as divorced after 33 years of marriage, the thought struck me: I can do whatever I damn well want and I can reshape my future now.
"I was much more..."
I was much more confident and successful as a single parent. I made better decisions and leaving him was one of those.
"I had forgotten..."
I had forgotten how couples biased the whole world is. People will invite you and your partner to go along on some event, out to dinner, whatever, but you alone? Nope. It's socially isolating to be single in a time when you would, theoretically, want to be more social.
I'm actually happy single, but I miss some of my married friends and doing shit with them. It's like I have to remind them I'm alive.
"A more depressing one..."
How little I have to empty the rubbish bins was quite shocking, a lot of the time now I don't even have to put the bins out for collection. A more depressing one is how many of my friends didn't come to see if I was ok or even ask. I am ok but that's not the point, i feel like I had always been there for all them whenever they had troubles. Oh well, lesson learned I suppose.
"On the other hand..."
How every single part of my life was impregnated with the presence of my ex. My hobbies, my friends, all my hanging out places... All carried significant memories of our time together.
On the other hand, it also meant that I ended up going out and meeting new people in new places so I didn't end up constantly being reminded of my past relationship... And met who would eventually become my wife.
"Contrary to other responses here..."
The expense. Contrary to other responses here, being with someone for almost twenty years and sharing all costs, suddenly trying to live on my own salary drove me into a lot of debt. Now under debt review and trying very hard to live within my means (not easy in a 3rd world country).
Redditor Jeffery_DahmerTV wanted to discuss the ideas that sound too crazy that they have to be true, so they asked:
"What is the most believable conspiracy Theory?"
In this day and age of alternative facts, it all seems like lies and truth.
Enlighten me.
Infection
Sick Computer Virus GIF by Achievement HunterGiphy"That computer viruses are made by antivirus companies to test their antivirus software."
astarisaslave
"Parents bought a new computer recently, the McAfee stuff was in there pretty deep to remove. The staff bogged it down, way faster afterward."
lt12765
War
"We are being goaded into waging culture wars that don't matter to keep us from waging class wars."
virgilreality
"Is this a conspiracy theory though? It would be if you assume it was engineered from the start, but this would also make it very unbelievable. But that existing conflicts had been fueled and taken advantage of by people in the position to for millennia is well evident I'd say."
Leseleff
Double Down
"Mattress Firm is a front for laundering money. There is no other reason for there to be so many. No one is ever even in there."
Free_Bingo
"Double down on this one! I have a Mattress Firm next to my job and I have never seen anyone in there ever. It’s been six years!"
cbcmama781
"I’m not convinced of this. Our local Mattress Firm is clearly baking $1k+ into their margins and then aggressively selling credit-based financing. Selling two or three a month probably covers everything."
Agloe_Dreams
Weather Issues
Climate Change Earth GIFGiphy"Those climate protestors that glue themselves to the road are hired by oil giants to make climate activists look stupid."
milanvlaman
"I feel this way about a lot of 'extremist' groups on both sides, that there are plants from the other side doing really stupid stuff just to discredit the idea."
Herr_Poopypants
The climate is changing. We have to come together. How is that a conspiracy?
That's All
Meryl Streep Pursed Lips GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy"That the fashion industry purposefully doesn’t put pockets in women’s clothing so they have to carry purses."
diceunodixon
Financial Clean Up
"That the only reason that the US government doesn’t do anything with student debt loans is because then people would stop signing up for the army."
Brotastic29
"That and healthcare.
"When you join up you get healthcare fully covered for you and your family, and you can get a full college education.
If the government started providing either of those for civilians, no one would need to join the military anymore."
redF5veStandingBy
"I think so too. I know and agree with what that dude was saying but when I see or hear people use 'Army' as a way to generalize the military, it usually means that what they said is something they’re just repeating what they heard."
chefboiortiz
The Commission
"There's definitely more to JFK's assassination than the Warren commission made it out to be. Whether or not LHO was the sole killer, I find it fishy that the CIA was so desperate to hide information from the public."
Bitter-Record-3831
"There is a very well-done documentary that concludes it was an accidental discharge from a Secret Service agent in one of the cars ahead of him."
Babstana
"CIA probably considered the assassination a declaration of war against Russia. They’re probably covering up that they were about to start WW3 over it."
tangcameo
Dairy Pounds
"The Great cheese conspiracy. Each year the US government buys more and more milk to make more and more cheese. The US government is sitting on something like 2 billion pounds of cheese. Just to artificially inflate milk prices."
worfhill
"Not even a conspiracy, just an example of the government controlling the economy in favor of dairy farmers."
Glass_Pies
"I watched a documentary about this. It's actually true."
PreferredSex_Yes
They're Listening
government agent GIF by South Park Giphy"That the CIA posts questions like this on Reddit to measure their past and current work, brainstorm for future projects."
ZRX1200R
Ominous
"I have a conspiracy theory about conspiracy theories. I believe the governments and 'leaders' of the world are actually rather incompetent, so much so, that they require the illusion of them being an ominous all-powerful all-seeing entity in order to remain in power."
"And to accomplish this they allow conspiracy theories like the Illuminati and etc to spread around to add a bit of urban myth to how 'powerful' they are."
"It's probably all a bunch of garbage Europe can barely communicate within itself you expect there to be some secret global order??? Oh, stop it haha."
SparkNoJoyThrw01
Sifting through what could and could not be true, could take forever.
Life is full of mystery.
