When you're a kid, you tend to see your parents as all-knowing people. This is the reason why a lot of youngsters maintain the same religious and political beliefs that their parents passed down to them. However, once you become a full-grown adult, you start to realize that your parents are just regular people--insecure and scared just like the rest of us. Which makes us think, “did they really know best?"
Here are a few examples of the lessons passed down to children, before they realized that they were 100% wrong.
Redditor nousername1982 asked:
What is that one thing your parents taught you, that later turned to be totally wrong?
First up, relationships. A lot of times when we’re kids, our parents will teach us things about how people show their love to each other. Depending on the parents, it typically ends up being heteronormative BS, but usually well-meaning.
This is how people end up in toxic relationships as adults.
"They're only picking on you/being mean because they LIKE you."
No, no. They're just being aholes.
My aunt, who babysat me after school, told me this when a boy in my class bit me in the first grade. He also punched me between the shoulder blades and was given the "boys will be boys" treatment by the teacher.
My dad told me "if he does it again tell him you're going to punch his teeth in, if he doesn't stop punch his teeth in."
He hit me again and I threatened to knock his teeth in, the teacher saw me do it and I got in trouble and was given detention. My aunt told my dad when he got home what had happened. Dad says to my aunt "yeah, I told her to say that. Kid sounds like a punk."
That’s messed up.
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That I would get pregnant as soon as I had sex. Told me that as a teenager, so I was terrified I'd get pregnant every time I interacted with a penis. Now (a decade later), I'm married and have been actually trying and it turns it out it's not as easy as they made it sound.
Ladies, please never try to “fix” a narcissist.
That you have to "suffer for love" (I'm a chick). Thanks mom, you set me up for a lifetime of trying to change narcissistic losers.
Grew up with only a dad. Got some stupid advice from him and the various divorcees that pass through the house:
- The woman should be the heart of the house
- Not feeling comfortable around a new girlfriend == not wanting my father to be happy.
- Not liking a girlfriend which is very disrespectful to me and my family == not wanting my dad to be happy.
- I shouldn't say what I think, just hint.
- I should be with anyone if he agrees to be with me, and be grateful.
- If didn't find the love of my life in high school, I won't.
- I should immediately break up with someone if he disrespects me.
My dad was a single parent (widower. Lost my mom to cancer after I was born), so I get why he was emotionally not stable.
I really just want to ask healthy normative people for relationship advice. But I get a feeling all the normal people won't give me a bit of actual advice, because it's boring, and all the crazies will have loads.
That’s sexist.
Men and women couldn't be friends.
I was raised in a weird religion in which almost any amount of communication with the opposite sex was seen as dating. Regularly texting a girl? That may as well be dating. It's a belief that I've had to unlearn after moving out so that I could have normal friendships with people.
Sometimes it’s just about control. The power dynamics between parent and child can cause for some problematic language, which they pass down to their kids.
Respect is shown to those who show respect.
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"Respect your elders" but in the sense that you should just keep quiet when you disagree with somebody older than you - turns out many people are awful regardless of their age.
Don't get me wrong, my default is to respect any new person I meet, but when a person has repeatedly shown me that they don't are about my feelings or even basic logic, I won't hold back from speaking my mind calmly, even if they see this as disrespectful.
Privacy is a right.
My mum made me believe that privacy was a privilege. Wasn't until I started studying childcare and learning in depth about the rights of the child that I learned it is a right and that my mum is full of bullsh*t.
Edit : UN convention on the Rights of the child (UNCRC) article 16
Privacy is a right, but parents have the right/duty to limit their minor children's privacy to the extent necessary for their health and well being.
Should parents ask their kids if they practice proper hygiene, maybe even smell the hair to make sure they are using shampoo? Possibly, depending on the child. Should parents stand in the bathroom, making sure their older kids scrub their armpits just right? Definitely not.
Should parents ask about their children's friends and days at school? Yes. Should the parents give them the third degree to get more details? Not unless there is some kind of emergency.
Sounds like gaslighting to me.
That as long as we "have always been given everything we need we are loved". The emotional abuse has ruined me.
This hit hard, my dad isn't a fantastic person to me and says that just because he goes to work and puts food on the table means that he respects me. He really doesn't. He's called me an embarrassment many times and emotionally abused me as well. I'm sorry to hear about your emotional abuse, just know that there's other people out there who understand and are there for you.
Finally, let’s talk about work. The standards for jobs were a lot different when our parents were kids, and sometimes they just don’t realize that things are waaaaaaay different now.
Most bosses are pretty open to conversation.
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"Your job is to do whatever your boss tells you to do."
This led to a bunch of stupid situations of both me getting walked all over by employers and me quitting jobs over things that could have been fixed with a conversation.
It doesn’t HAVE to be, but it’s nice when it is.
That work should be something you love
It just has to be tolerable. If you make work your life, you will feel hit hard by the rough stages of work, which any job has. And you'll feel bad for taking a sick day, or miss it when you should be enjoying time off.
For most people its easier to be happy at the end of the work day if you feel like you are good at your job and if the work feels like it is at least somewhat useful to society in the broadest possible sense (ie working for a scammy telemarketing firm is depressing for people capable of empathy). That's not quite the same as saying you should love your job. Not everyone has to have a vocation. But you should be able to take pride in the work you did.
Good point.
I was the first person in my family to have a job in a conventional office. They thought I was a monster to accept a relocation bonus, paid vacation, and trying to work a reasonable schedule. They wanted me to be one of those people who is always willing to put in extra hours, or just sit at my desk for appearances.
The problem with this is that everyone in the office hates people like that, and the management isn't going to hook you up in the end anyways.
Sometimes it’s just plain depressing what our parents teach us, and we have to take time to unlearn them.
Relatable.
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They inadvertently taught me that adults were angry and bitter people, which has kind of destroyed my ability to interact with others, since I was afraid that anything could set someone off. I still have a hard time believing that people are a little more forgiving than I give them credit for.
That’s terrifying and so wrong.
- Transgender people are mentally insane. Some of my best friends are trans, and they aren't mentally insane. I'm trans, and despite my mental health, I'm not insane.
- All your actions are watched by god or a higher being, and he will let everyone know if you did anything wrong like wanting to play to male toys and wearing boy clothes. This just led to me developing an anxiety disorder, and for a good amount of years in elementary, I had fear that everyone knew every detail of what I was doing. Only for me to ask, and they would get confused.
Time to unlearn that.
It’s okay to do almost anything as long as you don't get caught.
I knew it wasn't a good thing as a little kid too, but my mom being basically the only person keeping me in check and scaring me back then. She saying this surely gave me a bit more a-hole freedom that may or may not be related to me now (20yo male) having poor conscience and only thing keeping me in check being police not morales. Exception is s*xual assault, my morales won't allow that. That’s something she also taught me being a rape victim herself.
What a weird lesson.
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Never wear makeup or take care of your appearance before going to the doctor, or else they will think you are faking and not treat you.
I had strep throat for the umpteenth time as a teen and had slumming around the house miserable for days before the agreed to take me to the doctor. When my mom saw that I had brushed my hair and put on make up, she freaked out on me. Said I didn't even look sick anymore and she almost didn't take me. It stuck with me for a long time.
Now I understand that they do an actual physical exam, take vital signs, run tests, etc...
Not helpful.
- Paying off a credit card is as simple as making your monthly payment every month.
- You'll get a good job after college as long as you graduate.
- It's easy to just keep a minimum of $100 in your bank account as a safety net.
- The only way to enforce discipline in your kids is through fear.
Most of the time when parents give you sh*tty advice, they're really just trying to protect you from making the same mistakes they did. Trouble is, that advice can end up really messing up your development, and make things harder for you in the long run.
Just remember that your parents are their own people, capable of making their own decisions. And just because they made a certain decision in life, doesn't mean that it will be the same for you. Keep on growing
The old wives' tales.
They are the stories of legend.
I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.
Where did they originate?
WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!
You don't hear about them as much anymore.
It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.
But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.
Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:
"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"
"Wait an hour to swim after eating."
What a crock!
So many summer hours wasted.
I want revenge for that one.
Say Nothing
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"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."
LonelyMail5115
"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."
I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA
Say Something
"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."
Severe_Airport1426
"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."
crappycurtains
"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."
AlbinoShavedGorilla
Body Temps
"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."
chriseo22
"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."
"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."
apocalypticradish
Arms Down
"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."
Fatmouse84
10 Years Actually
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"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."
"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."
Gecko-911
I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.
This tale is haunting.
High/Low
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"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."
LeastFormal9366
"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."
IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI
The Cursed
"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."
"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."
SmoreOfBabylon
Stay In
"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."
"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."
worldbound0514
Dreams and Facts
"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."
"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."
mattshonestreddit
"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."
Darthdemented
Cracked
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"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."
Choice-Grapefruit-44
"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."
MacyTmcterry
I love my knuckles.
Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.
Every now and then, a friend of ours might say something, or we might overhear a complete stranger say something that makes us stop in our tracks.
More often than not, what we can't believe we just heard is something so ridiculous, we can't help but put the person who said it in their place.
Other times, however, what we just heard might have stunned us silent because of how shockingly clever it was.
Resulting in our not wanting to scold or yell at someone, but rather give them a handshake.
Redditor SubmergingOriginal was curious to hear the sharpest and wittiest things they've ever heard, from friends and strangers alike, leading them to ask:
"Enough with the dumbest; what is the wittiest thing you've ever heard someone say?"
Don't Give Me So Much Credit...
'I was on a team at work that was on a project working insane overtime."
"One night after an 80-90 hour week, we were all sitting around the table trying to finish up so we could go home."
"Around 11, my buddy's wife called, dubious about the hours he'd been keeping."
"We heard her through the line - 'are you cheating on me?'"
"Exasperated, he looked at our boss, then replied 'honey, if I was cheating on you, I would have been home by now'."- lionbatcher
Eternal Optimism...
"Asked a blind guy if he'd been blind his whole life."
"He said 'Not yet'."- Feeling_Mode_6465
Free time Isn't The Only Thing He Has On His Hands...
"My brother got a vasectomy and when the doctor was releasing him and giving him instructions (with the nurse listening in), one of the orders was to 'come back and have a follow-up appointment after you’ve ejaculated 30 times'.”
"Without missing a beat my brother asked 'what time do you open tomorrow?'”
"The nurse couldn’t keep it together after hearing that."- UtahUtopia
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Double Whammy!
"My pal uses the phrase 'he doesn’t look strong enough to carry information' and it cracks me up every time."
"Calling someone stupid and weak in one fell swoop."- JennyW93
Can't Hide Your DNA...
'Whenever I jokingly insult my mum, she says 'that must be where you get it from'."
"She cracked the code."
"I can never offend her without offending myself."- JennyW93
Self-Sufficient!
"My brother was a line cook at a New Orleans restaurant."
"My mom was in town, staying at a fancy hotel, and he stopped by after work, still wearing his kitchen whites."
"He was reading a newspaper in the lobby waiting for her to come down when the shocked lobby manager sputtered at him, 'MAY I HELP YOU!?!?'
"He answered, 'thanks, but I know how to read',” and went back to his paper."- jobrody
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A Miracle!
"My brother-in-law’s comment."
"The entire family went out for my mother’s 80th birthday and after the meal we all went to a local park, largely occupied by the elderly, to rest."
"My mother needed crutches at this point, and they were resting against her bench."
"My 10-year-old niece, who looked like every starving waif image from Dickens, grabbed the crutches and started hobbling round the park."
"All the OAPs were following her progress with looks of pity until my brother ran up behind her, and kicked away the crutches."
"There was an audible gasp from round the park and then my niece picked the crutches back up and started chasing my brother, clearly intending to hit him."
"In the confused silence my brother-in-law’s voice rang out 'Praise be! She can walk again!'"
"We still think this was the highlight of the birthday celebrations."- DdraigGwyn
Still Legal, Whichever Way You Cut It...
"I picked up my pleasantly tipsy boyfriend from a nightclub."
"We were stopped by the Police for a random breath test."
"They asked me my age, and I said, 33."
"My bf blurted out '33? You told me you were 22'."
"Police just laughed and let me go."- Aggravating-Corgi379
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A Bit Too On The Nose?
"Business law class in college years ago, talking about the issues that black Americans had before the Civil Rights."
"Amendment, trying to travel through the south with the discrimination so rampant, trying to find restaurants to serve them and decent lodgings."
"My instructor was posing a hypothetical: 'So you pull up out front of this place, you're exhausted from driving for hours, and you see the sign out front says 'Ku Klux Klan Motel'."
"'What would you expect to find there?'"
"Without missing a beat, from the back of the room came this gem: "'Extra sheets in every room?'"- NedsAtomicDB
Not Yet, Anyway...
"I was working with my friend and his dad."
"My friend (26) heard an ice cream truck near where we were working."
"He asked his dad if he could have a couple dollars."
"His dad asked, 'what for?'"
"My friend told his dad that there was an ice cream truck in the neighborhood, and that they were playing music."
"My friends dad told him "'They don't charge anything to listen to the music'."- tatersalad1234567890
Words Escape You In The Literal "Heat" Of The Moment...
"A friend of mine is a teacher and her husband is known for his wit."
"She told this story to him:"
"One day at school a kid took the hall pass and returned reeking like smoke."
"She asked the kid if he’d been smoking and he denied it over and over."
"She was about to send him to the office when she noticed smoke coming from somewhere."
"She told the kid and he realized that he didn’t put his cig out completely and it was burning in his pants pocket."
"The kid noticed and frantically tried to put it out and someone finally poured water on it."
"Her husband sat listening to this with a weird look on his face."
"She asked him what was wrong."
“'What’s wrong???'"
"'This was probably the only chance you’ll have in your life to say literally, ‘liar,liar, pants on fire’ and you missed your chance'."- Luder714
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Amazing What You Might Say A Few Drinks In...
"When I went to a renaissance faire once, I went to a beer tent and ordered a Newcastle Brown Ale (seemed the most fitting for the surroundings)."
"The beer wench, without skipping a beat, said, 'Everyone wants a Newcastle - no one wants to remodel!'"- jayhof52
Read The Room People!
"My dad wiped out when skiing down a mountain and lost a ski."
"After a few minutes of hunting for it, he gives up, slings the one remaining ski over a shoulder and starts walking down the mountain in his ski boots."
"About half-way down, another skier stops and goes 'Gee! Did you lose a ski?'"
"My dad instantly replied 'No, I was out for a walk and found one!'"- PeterJoAl
There's a reason your mother always told you to "use your words".
As clever remarks can have a much more lasting effect on people than a push or shove.