People Break Down Which Lessons From Childhood They've Had To Completely Unlearn
Our past is chock fullof "life lessons" that are actually just crap. It's easy to spoon-feed children drivel. They're sponges ready to absorb.
Then those children become adults that require rewiring.
Between culture changes and generations of upheaval, there is a lot that we are left to examine when out in the world. Look at where we are as a society right now. We are stuck in the throes of a culture war stemming from generational misinformation.
So where do we begin?
RedditorBaby_Bella_XXwanted to discuss the information we thought we understood as kids that might require an update. They asked:
What have you had to unlearn from your childhood?
The biggest lesson for me. "Oh stop worrying. There is plenty of time for that."
NO THERE IS NOT! There is no time left! Use it wisely!
Talk it Through
"Not talking about problems or concerns or feelings. My family really only makes small talk. Talking about the weather, gossip, etc. If there is any kind of disagreement, it's typically handled by giving the silent treatment, which might last anywhere from a couple hours to a few weeks or more. The only exception to this was my dad."
"If he was really angry, he would yell, slam things, and sometimes hit. Then pretend it never happened. No one ever asked how anyone else was doing, or about their day. I would come home from school and go straight to my room, because it was just a fact of life that no one would want to talk to me."
"If I had a problem, it would never occur to me to discuss it with my parents. There were never any "I love you's" or hugs or anything. I still, to this day, have never heard either of my parents apologize. I know they loved us in their own dysfunctional way, though."
"I probably overcompensate now. If I have a disagreement with my husband, I HAVE to talk it through in it's entirety. Even if it takes hours. I hug and tell my kids I love them several times a day. I ask questions every day about school, friends, etc. I apologize when I'm wrong. It's weird that that honestly comes naturally to me. I never realized how messed up my childhood was until I had kids of my own." ~ nicole11930
"Learning to say NO." ~ guyhabit
"If only my family would learn to accept "no". My mom insists on buying metric crap ton of food everytime she visits, despite me telling her not to, so she goes through all my things to "know" what to buy."
"She saw some oatmeal I never finished and two cans of soup I had for emergencies when I'm too sick to eat anything else. Now I'm stuck with a metric crap ton of soup and oatmeal that I keep forgetting to drop off for the local food pantry." ~ 1stLtObvious
"Talking back to anyone older that you is disrespectful. My parents taught me this and it's crap." ~ Halloweendog84
"I unlearned it during childhood. Got tired of my grandparents treating my parents wrong. Still am. I just wish my parents would see it and realize that they don't need to rely on them anymore. I'm tired of abusive or unhelpful family members being part of our lives." ~ bluedragggon3
XOXOSeason 4 Hug GIF by Good GirlsGiphy
"That I'm not actually a burden just for being here." ~ KNOCKknockLAHEY_420
I feel like everyone here needs a hug. All of you should know, you deserve to be here. Every life can change another. Remember that...
TearsTobey Maguire Reaction GIFGiphy
"It's okay to cry and it does not make you a weakling. When sad times hit, you have every right to cry your heart out to heal your wounds." ~ unforgivablenope
"Other children weren't psychic, I'm autistic." ~ Thinkingwithportals1
"As a child, I missed a lot of social cues, I couldn't read facial expressions or body language (or even know that you're meant to do that). The other kids kept seeming to know what others were feeling or thinking, so the logical conclusion was that everybody except me was psychic." ~ Thinkingwithportals1
Take my word for it...
"Lots of things. I actually can make it in the real world. I am not doomed to failure because of who I am and the quirks that come with being me. I am not the multitude of nasty labels my father spewed at me. The whole world isn't filled with terrible people who want to take advantage of me, requiring me to always be strong if I don't want to get taken advantage of."
"I am not actually sensitive and over-dramatic. I was actually picked at, 24/7, and so that was why it was so easy to rile me up; I never had a chance not to be emotionally charged. I actually can cook. I am not, as my mother often hinted, naturally a bad cook. I could write pages and pages of this crap and I still wouldn't cover it all. Take my word for it, I've unlearned a lot." ~ EgyptianDevil78
"My parents told me to eats what's on my plate, now I'm fat, coz I don't eat til I'm full, I eat til it's gone." ~ racerboy661
"If I end up wanting more after eating it all, I can go back and get another small portion. So my advice is cut down on portion size and eat until you feel full then stop. It is way healthier. Try for no waste but that's the idea behind small portions." ~ PoopLoofah
The Best Of...High School College GIFGiphy
"That just because I am not scoring at the top or going to the most prestigious college I am not not smart." ~ Imteyimg
Here is a lesson. Just try to be a good person. Sadly, in this day and age, that seems harder to do. And remember... our parents don't know everything.
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Serving in the military is not for the faint of heart.
There are so many dangerous aspects to the job.
When people discuss it, we think about war and the sacrifice people make with their lives.
But there is a ton of scandal involved with the military.
Over the years, so much information has leaked about bad behavior and just everyday nonsense.
Just because a person becomes a soldier doesn't mean they're perfect.
Redditor AdRealistic03 wanted to discuss the shocking things we've all learned about our armed forces, so they asked:
"What are some NSFW secrets about the military?"
The military is littered with secrets, and I love secrets. Tell me more...
Hey GirlFight Dance GIF by tv2norgeGiphy
"Been in for a long while now, the most apt descriptor I've heard:"
"'Gayest bunch of straight dudes you'll ever meet.'"
"Our Air Force’s most critical asset, nuclear weapons, are primarily guarded by a bunch of really bored teenagers."
"Navy is the same. The guy that Naruto runs to the galley is the same one that stands watch over the nuclear reactor."
"Lowest ranks pull guard duties more often."
"Who's the lowest rank? That baby faced 18 year old who just joined up."
"Guard duties are up there as one of the most bone taskings going."
The Side Hustle
"Sometimes the guy that administers the drug test is the same one that you get the drugs from."
"I was our unit's drug test guy. I smoked weed every day because I obviously would not drug test myself. I was also really good at it so they wouldn't give the job to someone else. I could get our tests done and completed without mistakes in like 1/5 of the time of my predecessor. Didn't sell drugs, but I've given plenty away."
"Swingers exist on every single base in the world, in Sigonella, they would use different boxes of detergent in the windows to show what they were into and what age range they were looking for. Patrolling the housing area became much more interesting when you see who lives in the houses and what they’re into."
Multi-PurposeHungry Labor Day GIF by BounceGiphy
"The food boxes that come in literally say 'For prison and military use only.'"
"My husband was watching a documentary with people in prison and was like hey we have the same blankets on the ship."
No matter who eats it, it's been said nobody thinks any of that food tastes good.
How many?Oh My Reaction GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy
"I was selected 6 times in a row to be a urinalysis checker. Have seen over 2000 penises involuntarily."
"The number of people who get sick and tired of being in the service who will go out and do some drug or another to get kicked out. During our Iraq/Afghanistan years, you wouldn't believe how many people would purposely pee hot or, females would intentionally get pregnant to get out of going."
"A friend of mine in the special forces told me since they are out in the field a lot, they get plenty of ticks. And while you can inspect yourself fairly well, you can’t inspect everything, so they pair up and spread their cheeks, and your mate has to stare into your anus to check you for ticks in there. Not very glamorous."
Health IssuesOkaay What GIF by ABC NetworkGiphy
"Looooooottttts of chlamydia."
"My unit in Okinawa had the highest STD rate for the island. I was so glad I wasn't a part of any of that."
"Our oceans are loaded with garbage. LOADED."
"I would watch the long trail of garbage follow my ship, in the wake, as crew dumped the s**t off the fantail. Every single day. Miles and miles of trash. And this was just one ship. This was just one nation. Our oceans are full of garbage that will take centuries to erode. Our waters are littered with sh*t that fish are eating and dying on."
Sounds like there is A LOT of fraternization in our Armed services.
Be careful out there.
Things People Learned From Their Parents That They Didn't Realize Were F**ked Up Until Later In Life
It's always nice to think that parents are doing everything they can to raise their children, but as humans, they're all going to make mistakes.
But as many people will discover, their parents also taught them some terrible lessons when they were young.
Redditor timdood3 asked:
"What did your parents teach you as a kid that you didn't realize was actually f**ked up until you were older?"
What Is Self-Love?
"In an effort to teach me to be considerate, or not selfish, I guess, my dad said, 'Love yourself last' more than a few times to me. That’s a mess I’ve been untangling for about 35 years."
"My mom told me that, on some buildings, there weren’t guard dogs but rather guard birds. These birds were trained to peck your eyes out if you trespassed. I believed this till I was 16 and have been afraid of birds ever since."
"My grandparents were morticians... I remember sitting on an embalming table, swinging my legs back and forth off the table, while watching my grandfather embalm someone and talk to me about what he was doing. I was seven."
"It's honestly a great memory and the many times I had with him like that taught me a lot about how to deal with death, how life is cherished, how different grief can be from person to person, and how to be emotionally strong for others."
"Good guy... Just was very desensitized to his work's more macabre parts."
"To add to this story, my grandparents were morticians for work, owning their own funeral home, but magicians as a hobby, frequently traveling with and training other magicians."
"When my grandfather passed away, we had a special service just for his magician friends. Some of the most famous magicians in the world showed up for the wand breaking, where my grandfather's wand was broken in two."
The Extensive Scapegoating
"For me, it was after they'd duped a child psychologist. I was in what? Second or third grade?"
"But I realized that they were so good at pretending to be the best people in the world that they could act as if I was the terrible one. They would always find a way to pass me as the monster instead of them."
"It didn't matter who I would have told."
"As a former scapegoat child, I can tell you, unequivocally, that you were never the problem. They were the monsters."
The Truth Behind Child Protective Services
"My mom somehow convinced me that 'child protective services' were the bad guys."
"Finding out (well into adulthood) that they take children away from biological parents' care only as an extreme last resort was a bit of a shocker."
"It also makes me wonder just how much she was doing, that she knew was f**ked up, and I just didn't bother remembering because it had always been that way for me."
Don't Be a Burden
"Do not ever be a bother to anyone. Solve all your problems by yourself."
"I feel this one. My parents paired it with 'always be accommodating to others.' Made it so I had very few boundaries and always tried to help others even when I didn't want to, but could never ask or accept help when offered. Not a great mix for the abusive relationships I faced as I got older."
"It really hit me when we were walking on a wide sidewalk. A group approached and my mom shoved me off onto the grass, even though the group had plenty of room. Your own kid gets body-checked so you don’t even have the appearance of slightly inconveniencing strangers."
"My oldest kid asked me once, just out of curiosity, 'How come you always have to hop off the path when people are coming? But they never do?'"
"That hit me like a sack of bricks. That it was that noticeable for my kid to pick up. I never made him move, but I always do. Even now. Hard habit to break."
"They made me distrust my own intelligence. They talked down to me and treated me like an airhead, giving me a smirk every time I tried to be serious about anything."
"It wasn’t until I was an adult that I learned that I am intelligent and gained self-confidence despite the negative self-esteem they had instilled in me."
Drinking and Driving
"My Dad told me he could drink beer in the car if he drank it while the car was stopped. It’s only drinking and driving if the car is in motion. I was like makes sense. I was around four."
"My dad got me a job when I was 18, so I'd drive in with him. On the way home, he would beeline for the liquor store. He'd drink a half pint and two Budweisers on a 30-minute ride home, three to five times a week. I thought this was just what people did after work on the way home. Crazy."
Building Credit and Credit Debt
"I was told, 'Don’t get a credit card.'"
"No one ever told me there’s no interest if you pay on time."
"I could’ve built my credit earlier, but they just didn’t want me to spend money I didn’t have and fall into debt with interest."
"Student Loan Debt, however… yeah that was highly encouraged by every adult around me…"
"My dad was 'teaching' me about credit cards and said you can just make the minimum payment every month. It blew my mind, and made it seem like free money. Thank god I didn’t take that advice. I pay my credit card off every month and he’s drowning in credit card debt."
Grief is Unacceptable
"If you’re sad, that means the devil is inside you and you need to pray for forgiveness."
"I was six, and my cat had just died."
"After arguing with a girlfriend and not speaking with her for a few days, BOTH my parents told me separately to hold onto my beef with her like a grudge and use it against her later."
"I've been married to the girlfriend now 25 years this year, never once took my parents' advice, and have NO IDEA how my parent's marriage survived, lol (laughing out loud)."
"I have a couple in my family like that. Any time I was at their house, without fail, they would be making passive-aggressive comments, sniping at each other, bringing up all sorts of past s**t, etc..."
"As a kid, I never looked forward to going to their place, because it was always incredibly awkward. Yet, they've been married for close to 50 years. It's like bitching at each other nonstop is their love language."
"My mom always said she was so happy the two of them found each other, if for nothing else than that it spared two other innocent people from having to put up with them."
"I always had anxiety as a child, and my mother said the only way to get over it is to deal with the situation head-on. Sounds great until I told her my fear of escalators and she pushed me down, and I fell and almost got my hair caught."
"Another thing she loved to teach me is how self-defense is necessary. Great! Where do I take lessons? There were no lessons.. she said being with my abusive ex was enough of a lesson. I should have learned then."
"My dad instilled crippling perfectionism in me, which I realized was insane when I got older and people told me to just 'do my best.'"
"When I was in grade school, I would come to my dad with A’s all super excited. But, if it was anything less than a 100%, he would ask for the missing percentage. So, when I had a 98%, he’d say, 'Well, where’s the 2%?' And now, if I do anything less than perfect, I beat myself up."
Make It Make Sense
"I was scolded for pouting, stomping my feet, and being sad. I ended up avoiding all of those when I grew up and became secretive about my emotions. Then, they would get mad at me for not opening up."
While we all like to think the best of our parents, many people have come to terms with the mistakes their parents made, including the false information they were given.
The problem with so much of this information is how hard it is to unlearn, and how deeply traumatizing it can be to discover we were traumatized.
Some people are not destined to be friends, and some are absolutely not compatible to date.
But sometimes we don't find that out until we're already dating them, and they reveal a belief they have that we feel is completely ridiculous.
Redditor Ghost7579ox asked:
"When did you realize that you’re dating an idiot?"
Issues with Big Brother
"She refused to pay taxes, have a bank account, or pay for public transit."
"She told me, 'I change my name every few years so they can't find me.'"
"Like, she'd go to the GOVERNMENT and change her name. Legally. So the GOVERNMENT couldn't find her."
"We broke up for other reasons, but this was the first red flag."
"She pre-heats the microwave."
"When I mentioned WW1, and she asked if that was why they called WW2 'THE SECOND WORLD WAR?!'"
"She had no idea there was a first one."
"Her parents also taught her that a guy masturbating and a girl having a period were basically the same thing as abortions. No wonder she was one of 11 siblings."
Not a Guitar Player
"It was in high school, but I got an acoustic guitar to try to learn. I asked my boyfriend who claimed to have played if he could tune it for me."
"This motherf**ker literally turned it all the tight that the f**king bridge ripped off and then acted like it was a piece of junk."
"It was a cheap guitar but he literally wasn't listening for the notes or anything and just turning away and acting shocked, when even I thought that's exactly what would happen not knowing anything about guitars."
Just Slow Down
"The cops regularly put a speed camera on a corner near his house. They have been doing it a couple of times a month for as long as he lived there, and he got caught by it many times."
"He was crying to me (literally) about how unfair the latest fine was and he had no money to pay it, I was fed up and told him to just slow down around that corner."
"I could tell from the look on his face he hadn't even considered that, and he got angry with me for not being sensitive enough."
Stick It to the Man
"She skipped going to community college classes to 'stick it to the professor'..."
"I had to explain that she had already paid to be there and the professor wouldn't care or notice."
"The day I told my girlfriend I think I broke my toe and her solution was to yank on it with all her might."
"It was gout."
"She was struggling with money and being able to save. I came home one day and she had a new 40k car in the driveway. She purchased it without even discussing it with me."
"She essentially sentenced herself to have no savings for the next five years when we were trying to save to buy a house together."
Gas Leak Roulette
"The night I said that I thought I smelled gas, and they grabbed a lighter and struck it without hesitation."
Sonic: The Horror Movie
"My ex was scared of hedgehogs and convinced himself they could jump over a six-foot fence like a cat."
The Knife Tip of Narcissism
"When I asked her to hand me a kitchen knife and she threw it at me (underhanded, but still)… and that’s not even the stupidest part."
"When I tried to explain the basics of handing someone a knife, or pair of scissors, she refused to accept that what she did was wrong or unsafe… It was suddenly apparent that she couldn’t possibly ever admit to being wrong."
Advertising's Version of 'Groundhog Day'
"An ex thought that commercials were recorded live, and the people on TV were employed to do them over and over again."
How the Cookie Crumbles
"She worked for a specialty decorated cookie shop at the mall. Like where you get those dinner plate-sized cookies with 'Get Well Soon' or whatever written in frosting."
"She texted me a picture from work, proudly showing me a cookie she had decorated for a customer. She was legitimately excited to show me her creation. I had not previously seen any of her masterpieces prior to this."
"Not only did the artwork look like a three-year-old's finger painting, but it said, 'CONRADULATINS,' which aside from the obviously bad spelling, she had clearly not even planned out the spacing in her head first, so it said, 'CONRADU,' across the whole cookie, and then, in tiny letters up the side, 'latins.'"
" She thought it came out pretty well. She was about 30 at the time."
"I'll be honest, I broke things off shortly afterwards because of that cookie."
"After her third 'business opportunity' turned out to be another pyramid scheme."
"We didn't date long but knew each other for a while before that. I liked her for her 'work hard, get paid' attitude. Turns out the hard work she was doing was costing her waaay more than she made, and didn't realize it."
"I broke down how pyramid schemes work to this one girl who got sucked into them all the time. Throughout my explaining, she said, 'That sounds like MLM,' like three times. After, we sat in silence. Can't see the forest for the trees comes to mind."
Inexperienced with... Weather?
"One night he turned to me and said, 'You're a bit of a scientist' (I was taking biology in high school, he was in college for music). 'Can you explain how I can take frozen yogurt from the freezer, put it in the fridge, and it melts?'"
"I, already concerned, replied, 'Well, the fridge is warmer. It's not cold enough to keep it frozen.'"
"He then asked, 'But it's still cold?'"
"And I had to explain that there are different levels of cold?"
"Somewhere along the way, I said, 'Cold is the absence of heat like darkness is the absence of light,' and he was so mindblown by that."
Not every relationship is meant to work out, but there are some that are more obviously destined to continue than others.
At least in most of these cases, the person was saved some time because of their partner's knowledge.
People tend to gravitate toward various celebrities based on the work they do without really knowing who they are in real life.
For example, actors who play nefarious characters may have a legion of fans who love the rebellious persona but can be let down after discovering their personality is actually quite loveable.
We often tend to forget celebrities are people too, and their real-life persona may be contradictory to the type of characters they play in movies.
Curious to hear from those who were in for a pleasant surprise after meeting a star, Redditor BEEPY_BO1 asked:
"Who is the kindest/rudest celebrities you've met IRL?"
These positive chance meetings stayed with Redditors forever.
"My sibling has a terminal illness in the 80s and Make A Wish sent our family to the set of Knight Rider to meet David Hasselhoff. Was cool, but that's not what matters."
"Fast forward 30 years and I'm at Heathrow picking up a family member when I see the Hoff standing there on his phone. I approach him and wait for him to end his call. He looks at me and says hello. I tell him that we met. He looks at me and say, 'Was their name ...?' He remembered their name after 30 years."
"That will always stay with me."
The Sweet Canadian
"I used to serve Rachel McAdams at a restaurant fairly regularly. She was always super sweet. Very lowkey and soft spoken in person. She and her husband would come in late and keep to themselves."
"I was at a pub in Toronto years ago and we were watching the Blue Jays home opener on the TV. The bar had a long booth seat with a series of tables strung along so you sat pretty close to the next patron."
"Had no idea that Rachel McAdams was sitting next to me the whole time. My friend and I watched the game and chatted with them throughout as they were right next to us. Just regular pub chatter and comments about the game."
"The Jays ended up coming back to win, and Rachel and I high-fived at the conclusion. She and her friend left, and my friend smacked me after they got up and said "that was Rachel f'kin' McAdams!" So yes, she seemingly has the ability to just be low-key and fit right in despite being a beautiful Hollywood actress!"
Satisfying His Sweet Tooth
"Ian McKellen came to the spa I worked at and was absolutely lovely. We didn’t sell ice cream but there was a farm shop across the road and I mentioned it and he asked me if I’d take him there."
"My friend who worked in the farm shop had his mouth open the whole time seeing me buying ice cream with Gandalf."
They are professionals but are also good with people. A winning combo.
"Penn and Teller hang out in the lobby after their show in Vegas to chat and sign autographs. Very friendly and yes Teller can talk."
"Teller was really sweet to my brother who is handicapped and in a wheelchair. That meant a lot to me."
"I have worked with Steve Martin and Martin Short, they’re both super nice, respectful, and incredibly dedicated to their craft. They’ll spend hours finessing a couple lines in a show they do every night just to get it right for that evening’s performance."
"I was an extra on The Last of Us and met Pedro Pascal. He was super nice. We technically weren’t allowed to talk to the 'talent' and they’d usually ignore us but he and Gabriel Luna talked to us anyway."
Talent Recognizes Talent
'Giancarlo Esposito was incredibly warm and also told me I should try and get into voice acting. I have never and will never attempt to do so but it was such a nice compliment for no reason.'
These Redditors have bragging rights for the best celeb encounter anecdotes.
Congrats Are In Order
"I proposed to my wife at a restaurant in Kauai. Afterwards, Michael Keaton leaned over from his table with his family and enthusiastically congratulated us. Very kind and friendly."
Deadpanned By Deadpool
"Ryan Reynolds & Blake Lively live relatively close to my hometown and show up to this Christmas event every now and again that our town puts on. Walked out of the ice cream parlor downtown and sitting on the bench right outside is Ryan Reynolds eating an ice cream cone. I looked up at him as I was walking out and made eye contact, and I looked away, then I looked back to make sure it was him, and he looks me dead in the face and goes 'I know right, isn’t it crazy?' And then he gets up and walks away. 10/10"
Inspired And Encouraged
"I met Weird Al at a con once. While he was signing the photo I bought, I told him about how he inspired me to write my own parody songs. He seemed genuinely interested and asked if I had a YouTube channel, but I told him I just write them, not record them. Super nice dude (at least for the brief time we spoke)."
A Birthday To Remember
"Jeff Goldblum, after a matinee of 'The Pillowman.' Autographs, photos, asking people where they were from, what else they had seen/were going to see. One girl mentioned they were in the city for her birthday as she was taking a photo of him with her friends, he stopped and said “How can you not be in your own birthday picture,” took her camera and grabbed someone from the crowd to take a picture of the group. Would not leave until he was sure everyone got what they wanted (despite his assistant or handler trying to move him along for dinner before the evening performance)"
I met Keri Russell at one of my favorite restaurants. She was dining alone and reading a book.
I'm not usually not one for invading a celebrity's personal space, but because I was a HUGE Felicity fan, I had to say hi.
I told her she was even more gorgeous in person and that I wanted to tell her I admired her work. She blushed and simply said, "Oh, stawwwp!" and laughed.
She then asked about me, what I thought of the food at this particular establishment, etc. She had such a great, laid-back vibe. Not wanting to take up any more of her time, I excused myself.
When she eventually got up to leave, she came over to where I was sitting with my significant other at the time, and she told us with a wink, "You boys, have a good night."
I almost died.