Not all of your cases are going to be things you agree with.
Lawyers have to do the job they're given. It's part of the oath they swore when they passed the bar. And unfortunately, it's not always going to align with their values.
Sometimes, they're even rooting against their own cases. And when they lose, it's a relief.
Here were some of those answers.
Not me but a senior lawyer I met at a law school event. Before he went into civil litigation, he used to be a prosecutor. He told me of a case where an accused was facing murder charges. He was the prosecutor responsible for handling the file. He was convinced of the accused's guilt and had substantial evidence pointing in the accused's direction. The senior lawyer fought hard to secure a conviction but the accused had excellent counsel who created doubt and identified defects in the evidence.
The accused was acquitted. The senior lawyer was pissed. Many years later, however, new evidence emerged showing decisively that the accused definitely did not commit the crime and, in fact, it was another person. The senior lawyer said that he was happy he lost the case because, if he prevailed, an innocent man could have spent years in prison.
Comes With The Territory
I remember being in a reporting class and shadowing a court reporter at a trial. The accused was this guy in his late 30s who, along with a few other guys, had broken into this house and terrorized a family they mistakenly believed had a stash of drugs. While no one was killed, some of the details were pretty repulsive. There was enough physical evidence against the others that they all took plea deals, but there was apparently no physical/DNA evidence against the man a day of whose trial we attended.
During a recess, the reporter met with the lawyers. The public defender told him, "I just hope nobody hates me for defending this guy."
Insurance Companies Are Scum
I used to work for a law firm specializing in subrogation cases on behalf of insurance companies. Basically, if you file an insurance claim for something that wasn't your fault, your insurance company will pay you, but then go after the person whose fault it was to recover their money.
My lowest point as a lawyer involved a customer who made a claim for a car accident. The accident happened because a dog ran out into the street and the car didn't have enough time to stop.
Unfortunately, the dog was killed in the impact. There was also some damage to the car, which the insurance company paid to the car owner, but it turned out there was an ordinance in the accident location requiring dogs to be on a leash in public areas at all times. Meaning, technically the dog owner was at fault in the accident.
So my job was to write a demand letter to the owner of the dog who just died, demanding that he pay for the damage that was caused to the car during the accident THAT KILLED HIS DOG. The dog owner never responded, and luckily the insurance company decided it wasn't worth additional legal fees of pursuing it further. It just about killed me to write that letter. Luckily I don't work there anymore and haven't done any subrogation work since.
I presented a domestic violence case for civil protection order for a parent who had custody of two kids. Got lots of evidence of defendant showing up and screaming at my client, past history of abuse, corroborating testimony from family members of my client.
The night before trial, our client finally gives us two + years of instagram, phone, and facebook messaging. Our client and defendant's new partner taunt each other, sending photos as defendant goes back and forth between them. Defendant is focused only on getting visitation with the children, repeatedly asks too see them - sets up a date, and my client misses the hand-off and taunts defendant. Defendant shows up to Court and will clearly be AMAZING on the stand, my client is...not.
We negotiated a settlement that included specific visitation, and helped our client finally begin divorce proceedings which would, as part of them, have a judge make a determination on the best interest of the children which would be way more shared visitation than these two could work out between themselves. Our client wanted to use the Court to avoid sharing custody out of spite, but what our client and the children needed was stability - not more drama.
I might be in the minority, but I'm not happy when I lose any case. I hate losing, and if I'm going to trial on a case, I'm never playing to lose. Once a case reaches trial, there is no point in doing anything else, except whatever you can to win.
I've defended some people accused of some pretty nasty things (my caseload these days consists of a number of murders and serious rapes). I've tried quite a few of them. I've won several, and lost a couple - and I hate every loss. Those stick with you, and can really eat away at you if you're not careful.
I don't do this job to lose.
Did some of my clients probably deserve the prison sentence they got? According to the judge, yes they did. Maybe even according to the law they did. But I was still upset when I lost the argument to keep them out of prison.
Trial psychosis is real, and it's how I do my job. If you don't believe you can win - and should win - you can't be a great trial lawyer.
Keep Him In
I was appointed to do a review hearing for a guy that had been deemed a sexually violent predator. After serving 20 years in prison for two abduction rapes, he had been committed to a state hospital under the SVP statute. He got an annual review to see if he should continue to be held which is what I was handling.
I fundamentally disagree with this law but am glad I lost that one. All of the discovery materials from his old cases were provided to me. Raped one woman while holding her boyfriend at gunpoint and shot the second one when she fought back. He was a suspect in a half dozen more where he wasn't prosecuted. Dude is a flat out serial rapist and it wouldn't surprise me if there were some murdered women in his wake as well. I hope he never gets out.
You never know when you might need it.
That's a mantra we should all try to remember––especially when we're out driving. Suppose you get into a minor accident. It might be a good idea to have a first aid kit on hand, just in case. Oh, and if you ever spill anything, it might be a good idea to keep paper towels––or just towels––on hand.
You'll thank yourself later.
People offered their recommendations after Redditor thelegend223 asked the online community,
"What's something you would recommend people start to keep in their cars?"
"Not only helpful..."
"Jumper cables. Not only helpful if you need them, but it's nice to help others out. I've never used them for myself but at least a dozen times helping others."
A friend of mine always has jumper cables on hand and has even helped out some of my neighbors! It's awesome.
"Besides the obvious safety stuff, a roll of paper towels is way more convenient than you could possibly imagine."
"Tried to refill..."
"Taco Bell napkins. Checking the oil? Blowing your nose? Tried to refill your vape in traffic? Always napkins."
You will never regret having napkins on hand. They are a lifesaver.
"Last thing I'd want..."
"In addition to a lot of the stuff posted here, I keep a pair of old boots. The last thing I'd want is to deal with a breakdown etc. and have on flip flops or dress shoes or something."
"If you see a car..."
"Bottled water, blankets, and sweets.
My father-in-law told me this. If you see a car which has broken down on the motorway then those poor people have to vacate the vehicle for their own safety and stand at the roadside. If it's a family and they're waiting for their recovery they'll appreciate the blankets to keep warm and dry, the water because water is nice, and the sweets to cheer the kids up.
Pull over and give them that and it will make their bad situation a little bit better."
This is so wholesome. Anything to help out your fellow man is very much appreciated!
"I wouldn't have been able..."
"Fire extinguisher. I've put out a car fire with one. Not my vehicle, but still. I wouldn't have been able to help had I not had it."
Definitely keep a fire extinguisher on hand. You never know when you might need it for your car. Things happen!
"Cash. I once made the intelligent move of leaving for a road trip alone without my wallet. I'd stopped a few hours from home to gas up when I realized. Had enough cash stashed for gas to get me back home."
Cash, definitely. And keep it out of sight, of course. You don't want anyone breaking into your car.
"You put everything..."
"An emergency "can't get home" bag. You put everything in it you'd need if you were told to go to a hotel for 24 hours taking only what you had on you and in your car. Soap, clothes, an extra $100, toothbrush, food/water, phone charger/wall wart, etc. It comes in handy for a lot of things, just remember to rotate out the food and water if you decide to put some snacks and bottles of water in there."
"If you're in a relationship..."
"If you're in a relationship with a woman or have daughters or anything, a stash of feminine hygiene products as well. It'll come in handy eventually."
"To this day..."
"I visited Israel a few times and their requirement is to have a reflective vest and either a reflective triangle or those spark lights within arms reach for the driver. Thought it was not a bad rule, put a vest/triangle combo in the back of the seat.
To this day, I've given out seven sets like that too broken down cars on the roads. While I have no way of helping them fix the car, at least I help them set up the triangle for safety. None have ever refused to wear a vest when offered. So I just buy a new set after for myself or the next person."
We realize you're going to practically use up all of your trunk space with all this stuff, but trust us: You'll be so thankful later.
Have some suggestions of your own? Feel free to tell us in the comments below!
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I love weddings. I want a HUGE, extravagant experience! That is if the day should ever come. However, I do not believe in spending your life savings; but shedding some coin isn't a terrible thing.
In the end though there is nothing wrong in doing the ceremony small and intimate. Every penny saved from the ceremony can go toward a house, a college fund, old age. I've seen people drop half a million just to say "we had our wedding there!" In the end... there... wasn't all that special.
A wedding should be personal to the two most important people of the day. Big or small, who cares, just be happy.
Redditor u/the_original_Retro wanted to discuss the path to the chapel of love, in miniature, by asking:
People who got married without having a big wedding: when you look back, was it the better choice? Do either of you regret not doing something bigger for the day?
Small doesn't necessarily mean cheap. A small experience can be just as expensive as a rave blowout. So let's discuss ideas...
Save the Pennies...Season 1 Wedding GIF by NBCGiphy
"Absolutely no regrets. You always have the option to do the party/celebration for your anniversary/vows renewal etc down the line. We never felt the need though. Spend your money on something else forget the pomp of a big wedding. It's a disgusting industry in my opinion. My pair of pennies anyway."
To Be Happy...
"We paid about 2 grand total for our wedding, we married in a tiny little registry office which was nice and clean and the lady who married us was lovely, it wasn't a big venue but it was big enough for our close family and friends. We rented the suits and that was the most expensive item, we got the bridesmaids dresses online for cheap, they all looked really nice and my wife looked lovely, her dress was second hand from eBay."
"We found a bus museum and hired an old London bus for an hour to drive the people from the wedding to the party. We didn't have a reception and a sit down meal, instead we booked a local club that had a nice big room, we got a family friend to do a buffet for all the guests."
"It was a really great day, the wedding was nice, my wife was happy, lots of our friends and family attended, there was plenty of food and the drinks were cheap at the bar in the club we picked, I couldn't have been happier with how it turned out."
No Need for 1K!
"I told my husband when we were getting married. His mom told him my ring needed to be no less than like 2 karats or something insane. I told him when we went ring shopping, "you can spent $1k. If I even THINK you spent over that. I'll say no." Money can go to rent, a nice dinner out, be saved, etc. The wedding and everything related to it, I told him, do we really NEED that? I was from a poor family, he was from a much more wealthy family. It was a VERY hard adjustment for both of us."
"Not what you asked but, I wanted a small wedding. Just immediate family and a couple friends at my parents' home with a BBQ and water fun after. My mother insisted on the big deal. I hated it. The day was a torture for me. I regret giving in every time I think about it. The only part I am glad for is that I got married. I don't have any wonderful memories of the day itself. I let my daughter have my wedding dress for a costume. It brought me more joy at Halloween than it did on my wedding day."
Covid...Television Fighting GIF by WE tvGiphy
"Waited over a decade to get married. Covid let us get married over zoom without dealing with the messy logistics of an in person wedding. Also a lot cheaper. Covid is a great excuse for people that want small or non existent reception."
Awww... that all sounds lovely. I still want big, big. big. But that is me. Covid did teach us all a lot about small and intimate being enough. Love doesn't need a crowd.
It's Monday...tim curry no GIFGiphy
"My wife and I got married on a Monday night, at a church, with a handful of people there. We then had the "formal" (tuxedos, wedding dress, groomsmen and brides maids) church wedding and reception about 5 months later."
"We had to do this because we were living together and Rev. Killjoy didn't approve of that. He made us get married immediately or he wouldn't marry us on the date my wife wanted. We've been married 32 years and we both agree that neither wedding was necessary. An elopement with a small get together later with those most important to us would have been preferable for us."
"This question really interests me because me and my fiancé are getting married next February and we've actually gone from "big party" to "small gathering of intimate people" since we first started planning it. Mostly because neither of us is exactly "social". He's an introvert and the idea of a big party with people who we rarely see slowly became nauseating to us. I mean."
"The wedding is supposed to be a celebration of love with the people who actually know and cherish the couple. Not a "show off" event. I come from a deeply traditional family with big weddings and this has been a topic of "discussion" lately. So knowing how you guys feel after is actually helping. Thank you! :) Edited to correct spelling."
"My wife and I went on a trip and got married at a resort destination just me and her. We both didn't want the huge formality of a wedding day and the cost as well. Not to say we didn't have gatherings. We had a big party at our place prior to the trip."
"Then we hired out a few tables and a side room at a fav local restaurant and had a big dinner with my extended family. Finally as part of the trip we went back to visit her family and relatives overseas and had a similar dinner/gathering. We did a rough calculation and the cost of a big wedding was more expensive as the big trip and the x3 dinners."
"Ppl from both sides of the family seemed happy as they didn't have to spend a whole evening at a reception and/or attend an afternoon ceremony. A lot of our friends seemed happy either way, appreciated the casual party at our place and didn't feel the need to get all dressed up. Also the trip was basically our honeymoon."
"Friend of a friend"
"I think my husband and I had around 15 people at our ceremony, afterwards we got to have a NICE sit down 3 course meal with everyone in a private dining room of a fancy hotel. THAT was beautiful, and it was just. everything we needed. THEN we came home and had a reception and it was the biggest waste of $ and time. I wish we had saved the money and just had another intimate sit down catered dinner with family and CLOSE friends."
"None of this "acquaintanced" "Friend of a friend" etc. Granted everyone else said the reception was "so much fun", but both SO and I wanted to leave before it even started. OR I wish we had just saved the money from that and gone on a hot vacation, just the two of us."
Perfect...british news GIFGiphy
"My wife and I are so glad that we had a small wedding (cost us about $700 total) and it was perfect."
"My brother's brother-in-law paid $30,000 for his own wedding and she left him in less than year (and they had been together a really long time before that). The only people who really benefit from large weddings are the people making money off of them. Keep it small."
Love is love. No matter what, let your day be for ya'll. Spend a million, spend a dollar. Invite ten, invite ten thousand. Just have the ceremony you want.
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Conspiracy theories are beliefs that there are covert powers that be changing the course of history for their own benefits. It's how we see the rise of QAnon conspiracies and people storming the capital.
Why do people fall for them? Well some research has looked into the reasons for that.
The Association for Psychological Science published a paper that reviewed some of the research:
"This research suggests that people may be drawn to conspiracy theories when—compared with nonconspiracy explanations—they promise to satisfy important social psychological motives that can be characterized as epistemic (e.g., the desire for understanding, accuracy, and subjective certainty), existential (e.g., the desire for control and security), and social (e.g., the desire to maintain a positive image of the self or group)."
Whatever the motivations may be, we wanted to know which convoluted stories became apart of peoples consciousness enough for them to believe it.
Redditor Lopsided_Confusion57 asked:
"What's the wildest conspiracy theory you fully believe?"
We can't say any of these are true but sometimes it's fun to speculate.
The time traveling cyclist.
"The Australian cyclist Mick Rogers is a time traveler."
"In the 2002 Tour Down Under, Rogers was in a great position in the breakaway and looking to move into the overall race lead but a collision with a motorcycle left his bike out of commission. With the team service car and mechanics way down the road, it looked like Rogers' chances were gone. Then a cycling fan, who just happened to be at that precise point in the road, offered Rogers his bicycle to continue on. The bike also just happened to be the *exact* model of Colnago that Rogers had been riding. It was the correct size, right down to things like the stem and crank lengths. It even had the same pedal system that Rogers was already using, so he could just clip in and be away. He finished that stage and took the race lead, which he held on to all the way to the end for his only career win in his 'home' tour."
"My theory is that in the original timeline, Rogers didn't win the 2002 Tour Down Under. He quit cycling in anger and devoted his life to theoretical physics and solving the problem of time travel just so he could arrange it to leave himself a spare bike where and when he needed it."
"I'm on board for whatever book or screenplay you write."
"Wait, so if Rogers motivation to find ways for time travelling was losing 2002 race, and if he won, then Rogers never found time travelling and our time line is forever devoid of genius like Rogers who would have found time travelling and attended Hawkins party."
"Yep, exactly. Our timeline is stuck with boring old Mick Rogers, 2002 TDU winner and 3x World Time Trial Champion while some other, much cooler, party timeline gets Mick Rogers, the second coming of Einstein. He probably even cures Covid for them."
The best money making stunt.
"Information is leaked from a studio about an upcoming project that p*sses off the fan base. The studio will then change things to keep the fans happy. The conspiracy is the original leak was just a lie to drum up free publicity for the project."
"This made me think of the Sonic movie. No way in hell were they going to make Sonic look that bad. Put out a fake trailer with him lookin all scary, everyone is talking about it. Wala. Take a bit to say you're fixing his look, put out a new trailer. You just drummed up tons of publicity since people are now following the story."
"I have mixed thoughts to that one."
"I mean 'No way in hell were they going to make him look like that.' Buddy have you seen the cash-grab BS that Hollywood has pulled off before? Hell, when was there a movie based off a game that wasn't exactly as bad as that Sonic looked?"
"I will admit that they may have done that as a publicity stunt, but I also admit that they could have thought it looked fine."
"Have you seen … CATS?"
"100% of the population believes that Putin has had people killed for political reasons but only a very small percentage of Americans believe that American politicians would ever do so."
"I mean, there's a reason the joke/saying is, 'The highest award a journalist can receive is being assassinated by the CIA.' There's probably been a handful who may've found out one too many things on the elites, and then had an accident before they could publish their findings."
"Ohhhh boy then south american journalists in the 60s-80s have been awarded way too much."
"MLK was literally murdered by the government."
"Lots of Black Panthers were too."
'"As part of the larger COINTELPRO operation, the FBI was determined to prevent any improvement in the effectiveness of the BPP leadership. The FBI orchestrated an armed raid with the Chicago police and State Attorney on Hampton's Chicago apartment.'"
"Quote from the Wikipedia article on Fred Hampton."
Conspiracies for the conspiracies to cover up the conspiracies.
"The CIA creates conspiracy theories to provide cover for the real conspiracies."
"It's actually kind of scary how smug anti-conspiracy discourse is used to derail actual conversations. A moment that chipped my faith in humanity just a little was when I was arguing with some people about Guatemala in 1954 and people denied my version of events happened 'because it's a conspiracy.'"
"Like no the parties involved admitted to it."
"If you don't know what I'm talking about and are from the USA you should have a google. But, basically the USA destroyed a democracy because it made a corporation sad."
"What's worse is when people will talk about how corrupt insert what politicians they don't like are, but then when you mention something that is actually confirmed to have happened, they pull the conspiracy theory card and act as if the idea people in power don't want to secure further power for themselves."
"We have been conditioned to think like that from since we started school though (I guess that's my submission for this ask post)."
"I think I remember reading about some CIA agents AMA. Someone asked him the question, 'What's the point of area 51?' The answer was, 'To keep your attention away from area 50 and 52.'"
"Obviously not an exact quote, but the idea of it has always stuck with me."
Extinct animals not actually being extinct for preservation.
"I think it is entirely plausible that the Thylacine still exists in the depths of the Australian mainland and the government knows it."
"It wouldn't be that crazy for misguided scientists to have moved or released a few in the late 1800s. Once the animal went extinct, they certainly couldn't reveal the existence of the mainland population lest poachers and local farmers destroy it. They also may have realized how significant the liability was for releasing large predators into farmland."
"Folks have found hair and scat samples that may be from the animal, but the university lab results always come back and say they are nonsense. That's probably the truth, but I wouldn't be entirely surprised if the government was strong-arming them into reporting BS results. TBH if I was a conservation scientist it wouldn't take much convincing for me to fake a negative test."
Robert 'Curt' Borton Jr.
"I believe in a LOT of really boring conspiracies. Stuff like. 'This person was about to expose corporate/government corruption, and then died suspiciously.'"
"But if you want to go for a more intense one, Robert Borton, who I just learnt about, takes the cake. tl;dr guy disappears in Vietnam and really strange sh*T happens to his family."
"This guy, Robert 'Curt' Borton Jr. turns 19 in 1965, he goes to fight in Vietnam. He lands in 1966 and vanishes 19 days into his deployment alongside 3 other soldiers."
"In 1976, two guys approach his dad and claimed to work for the Department of Defense. They asked him to sign a letter that would change his sons status from 'Missing in action' to 'Killed in action' and he refused. Arguing the military would not confront people in public to sign documents. However, in the following weeks he was approached again by these two guys in public places and eventually signed it out of fear. He later received money for doing so."
"His sister then claims that every time they've seen Curt's official files, the entries keep changing, and his sister claims her phone was being wiretapped. A cousin believes that everyone was being watched, claiming that he was followed to work several times and that two men would follow him from his home to his company and then back. After this went on for a month, he decided to confront them, but they denied following him. After that, for about a month, he was not followed."
"The family is convinced Curt was part of a secret government operation that brought him from Vietnam into the United States. Diane believes that he has tried to contact her and other family members on multiple occasions. She claims that she has talked to a man who is a "secret returnee" and that they are allowed to come back to the United States, as long as they do not contact their families. She believes that this was done because the U.S. government had already claimed that all of the living POWs had been brought home; since they were still left behind, they could not become known to the public."
We may never fully know if any of these are true. Given the track record and history of most governments in the world, maybe some of these aren't so far fetched.
Only you can decide what you believe or not.
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I hate ghosts, even if it's Casper. My life is already stressful enough. I don't need to creeped out by spirits from the beyond. Shouldn't they be resting and basking in the glow of the great beyond instead of menacing the rest of us?
The paranormal seems to be consistently in unrest, which sounds like death isn't any more fun or tranquil than life. So much for something to look forward to.
Some ghosts just like to scare it up. It's not always like "Ghosthunters" the show.
Redditor u/Murky-Increase4705 wanted to hear about all the times we've faced some hauntings that left us shook, by asking:
Reddit, what are your creepy encounters with something that you are convinced was paranormal?
I can't definitively say I've come face to face with the spirits. But I have had some unsettling feelings in the dark. Shadows are just shadows sometimes, but who can be sure.
I hear it...Nbc Wings GIF by HULUGiphy
"I was helping my dad clean my grandma's house after she passed and I went in and was trying to find a song in my phone and before I could I heard a cough plain as day come from down the hallway where her room was. She died of lung and throat cancer it was pretty crazy."
"When I was 5 I remember getting home from my grandpa's birthday party. For context my mom was pregnant with my brother at the time, so my parents had already bought his crib. I woke up in the middle of the night to find a women in a white dress and long black hair standing over my brother's crib. I managed to wake up my dad so he could take me to the bathroom. When I got back it was still there. It was only until morning when it disappeared. Every now and then I see a glance of what I assume is that thing running past the backyard."
"My best friend and his wife had moved to a new apartment. I came over to visit a few times, and each time I'd see the motion of a cat in my peripheral vision. Not the image of a cat, but a sense of how a cat moves. Anyway, one day I finally cracked some joke about the ghost cat in the place and his wife was instantly saying "See! See! I told you we had a ghost cat!"
"I worked graveyard shift in a dementia ward for 4 years and it was anything but quiet. I was working with a nurse one night when we both heard a resident say "excuse me." We looked around and no-one was there. I checked on the resident in question and she was fast asleep in her own room. Many of us also experienced someone whistling in the ward late at night and one nurse even managed to catch a video of it happening. It was unnerving to say the least."
"I once saw someone short walk by me in my house. They walked into the laundry room which only has one way in. I walked into it behind them and they where gone. I thought it was my little brother but I went to his room and he was asleep. I still have no clue what that was."
Now was everyone here positive they were sober? Just asking. Those are certainly spooky moments. I'd like some video footage please. Continue...
Reflectionsghost library GIFGiphy
"I was up at 3am when I was maybe 7 or 8. I looked out the window and saw a woman in a white dress run across my yard. I could see through her. She was transparent like the reflections on the window."
"So, my work place is haunted. I was having a really crap day, and as a cleaner, it's normal that me and my co worker will be the only ones left at night. So I was standing on the second floor, leaning on the banister for the stair case, when I heard this male voice say in my ear "you alright?" Clear as day. I turned around so fast and nobody was there and it scared the hell out of me."
"I remember as a young kid I usually use to sit in my bed and watch tv with my room door open while the adjacent guest bedroom next to mine would always have the door shut. I always remember seeing that door fully open and close by itself multiple times a day very slowly and gently. Never really bothered me much now that I think about it… but there were other creepier experiences I had in the same house that made me feel uncomfortable like I was being watched."
"I went to the Betsy Ross House as a really little kid in the early 90s. Normal house but I was confused why the tour guide never talked about the woman on the chair crying at the edge of the bed in Betsy Ross's bedroom. So I asked about it. No one else saw the woman at the edge of the bed. I figured it was just a wax museum since there was a wax statue of a man in uniform rolling bullets in the basement."
"Years later, I was looking at haunted Philadelphia tours to go on with a friend and the Betsy Ross House was on it. I was like "woah! I was there!" and looked into it some more. Turns out there is a woman at the end of the bed crying and a uniformed man in the basement that people have reported seeing. There is no way that 8 year old me would have known about either of these things."
hello kitty...hello kitty lol GIF by Animation Domination High-DefGiphy
"I had this hello kitty Balloon In my bed room, it had a string and weight on it. So it was late, I had the lights on just Sitting on my bed. The Balloon turns, faces my door, slowly floats into my hallway and turns and floats into my sister's room. To this day I am scared of balloons."
They are among us and they like Hello Kitty. I'm probably rattling the paranormal cages and they'll come for me next, but I'm ready. I feel like this thread has prepared me.