Hawaii looks like a beautiful place. And I long to visit one day.
It looks like perfection, like life there is a constant state of paradise and beauty.
But I do know people who have lived there and it seems that paradise is more like every other place in the world, with it secrets and mundane routines.
There is definitely a downside to the "perfect place."
But hey... I'm still going.
Redditor Higglesworth98 wanted to hear truth from those that spend their days in paradise by asking:
"People who live in Hawaii, what are some misconceptions and/or things people don't realize about island life?"
Same old, same old....
Life can often be very routine. There's less space to build new stuff so new developments are generally a much longer timeframe. If you're not comfortable going to the same two beaches, the same three restaurants and the same coffee shop on a regular basis, life can be very difficult here.
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Island Staples
A major employer and source of residency is the US military.
Those of Japanese ancestry make up the second largest ethnicity.
Staples like groceries and gasoline cost a fortune to account for shipping costs.
Alea....
Lived in Aiea for 3 years.
It's not all about Zippys, Hilo Hattie, and Abc stores.... Apart from the tourist stuff everyone is living and working normal jobs.
Dating is rough if your if your looking for a LTR. Dating pool is small, but tourist and military people we pretty cool for small stints in my case.
Also very few mexican food places. :(.
Things of Nightmares....
Damn giant centipedes. Found one a good 10" long on our pillow before going to sleep one night. Also had one get stuck half way in a sticky trap, and I woke up to the sound of it dragging that box all over the kitchen tile trying to escape. Nightmare fuel.
It's a beautiful place to live and has a lot of advantages, but f**k centipedes.
On TV
This isn't a thing anymore, but in the 1960s and 1970s EVERY TV show would have their characters greeted by Hawaiian dancers and get a lei necklace as soon as they stepped off the plane in Honolulu. For awhile I think a lot of people believed this is what happens all the time.
Loveless in Paradise....
Dating is hard in Hawaii. The population is small, and there is a joke that "people are waiting for someone to break up." I could see it being lonely there long term if you didn't find someone quickly or move there with someone.
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Before Cali....
Born and raised on the Big Island, live in California now.
I can only speak to my own experience in the town I grew up in, on the island I grew up on, but it's a pretty damned normal life, just happens to be in a very beautiful and unique place.
Like any other tourist destination, the vast majority of visitors only see what's on the path of the "guided tour" so to speak. When you peel back that curtain, you just see people living their lives like anywhere else.
Peek a Boo
It's not very easy to hide from police on a small island... so "don't do crime kids and stay in school" is a very important message here.
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Crazy Expensive....
I was born and grew up on the mainland. My wife and I have lived in Hawaii (Maui) for almost a decade now. It is definitely a lot more expensive to live here. 2 bags of groceries is generally in the $100 range. Rent is crazy. Gas is stupid expensive. The other end of that is that pay can be higher too, depending on the job. If you get a good job serving somewhere fancy, it's not uncommon to leave with $300-$500 for a shift.
We depend completely on tourism here to survive. So as much as tourists can be annoying, intrusive, rude, and entitled, we need them. Distance is weird. If I'm gonna drive 30 minutes somewhere, we better be having a whole day planned. Eating out somewhere casual is at least $30 for two people. It's really like living anywhere else tho honestly.
I have fast internet, Wal-Mart and Target aren't far away. My family is on the east coast, so seeing them is hard during normal times. Forget about it right now. So that sucks. Also, I miss hoodies, good sammiches, and the woods. But Maui is stunning and magical and living and breathing.
Influence of the West....
Pre Western contact Hawaii had a long and awesome oral tradition, but the islands did not have a written language or written numbers until the 1820s. The Hawaiian Islands did not have a Western system of land surveying/map making/ recording the sale of land until late into the 19th century. Some of the earliest surveys are dated in the 1870s. To this day the state of Hawaii it has two different systems of land registration.
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Title searches in Hawaii can be complicated and difficult because many of the original documents were originally written in Hawaiian (which is one of the official languages of the state). Even today there are many clouded titles on land and disputes as to actual ownership dating back to the days of the Hawaiian monarchy, and some of those claims are still in litigation more than a 100 years later.
Climate Needs
I am kind of surprised no one has said that the homeless population is outrageous in Hawaii.
A big part of that is the fact that homeless people come from the mainland to be homeless here because it's a more livable climate.
I've met soo many homeless people who came from like Washington or Colorado.
And then also, when all the mental health hospitals were closed, there still hasn't been any programs or ways to help people who needed those services and therefore, homeless.
And then now Covid.
Molokai'i it's just what it is...
Depending on which island you're on, you legit can be out of food and have to wait on the barge to come by for basic crap.
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It's like living in the mainland when you have shortages from storms and such. The grocery store just has what it has and if it doesn't wait a few days for the next barge.
On Maui and Oahu and the big island you don't really see this, but out on Molokai'i it's just what it is.
Oahu
Born and raised on Oahu. Every local I know doesn't wear shoes or slippers in the house. And most dislike going to tourist spots (like Waikiki). Also a half hour drive is considered a long drive.
Bad Times
My dad moved to Oahu and stayed out there for many years. I would go visit when I could.
The biggest thing I noticed was the drugs and outright poverty that seems to go over looked. With that came violence. My dad got mugged and put in the hospital coming out of a bar. I was beat up walking out of a hotel once.
The Theme Park
We went to Kauai a couple years ago and while there we attended the agricultural fair. A local told us he dropped $500 on he family at the fair. He said that was it as far as amusement parks so every year the fair was the thing. It hit us then that for us we could go a couple hours to say Busch Gardens or a day to Disney World. If they were to go to anything like that other than the fair it would be a major haul to the mainland.
Big Island
You don't honk (much) and NEVER flip off someone in traffic.
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A quick shaka will do, since you may know them or see them at the store soon anyway.
We lived on O`ahu for a decade, and have family born and raised on there and the Big Island, but will never be "local".
Don't try to talk pidgin. I know the lingo and tonal inflection, but still, just no.
I'll be there for you...
Lived on Oahu for about 4 years from 2012-2016. How expensive everything is is definitely at the top of the list. The one that most people don't expect is that I had a hard time making friends. I'm guessing this could be hard in any tourism based place but I'd go to the restaurant or bar and meet tons of people. They were all there for the week. It seems that even residents my age were all only there for a short timeframe as well. I just had a constantly rotating group of friends and it got old.
That's part of the reason I moved back to the mainland. Also everyone was always stealing stuff. Mopeds and other goods get stolen all day every day if it's not locked, it's gone. It was frustrating the amount of stuff that would just go missing or get broken into.
All that being said, I would live there again. I do miss it every once in awhile.
flying out...
Was stationed at Oahu. When I first got there I thought the place was beautiful and had a great time. But after 3 years I kinda got sick of all the disrespectful tourists and the fact that it is a small island and the only way for me to leave was flying.
Haole
Being called a haole can be derogatory or neutral depending on how it's used. I'm a white woman married to a brown man. Once, we were having dinner out while I was pregnant and our server told us we were going to have the cutest hapa-haole baby. She was pretty nice and I'm pretty sure she said it completely innocuously.
Another time I was visiting the Big Island (I lived on Oahu) and was checking out an off-the-beaten-road beach that belonged exclusively to the locals. It was crystal clear that I wasn't welcome, and though they never called me it to my face, I heard them call me a haole amongst themselves and it definitely wasn't neutral.
When I first moved to Oahu, my husband's employer hosted us for a dinner party with some of his new co-workers.
Another white dude who had lived there for about 20 years pulled me aside and told me point-blank that I should expect to be called a haole and not to let it bother me. That I was a white person from the mainland in their space - it was my trade off. Broadly speaking, it wasn't really an issue while I lived there. Most people were really nice as long as you weren't acting like a self-entitled fool.
The Florida of Paradise...
Lived in Honolulu for four years. People tend to think of Hawaii as a peaceful, laid back place but really it's a freaking madhouse.
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I also lived in Florida for five years and I always tell people that Hawaii really is what people only think Florida is. I've shared many stories on Reddit over the years of the endless string of lunatics and crazies I dealt with on nearly a daily basis out there. There's something about being on a remote island in the middle of nowhere that really brings out the loony in people.
The old wives' tales.
They are the stories of legend.
I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.
Where did they originate?
WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!
You don't hear about them as much anymore.
It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.
But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.
Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:
"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"
"Wait an hour to swim after eating."
What a crock!
So many summer hours wasted.
I want revenge for that one.
Say Nothing
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"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."
LonelyMail5115
"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."
I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA
Say Something
"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."
Severe_Airport1426
"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."
crappycurtains
"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."
AlbinoShavedGorilla
Body Temps
"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."
chriseo22
"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."
"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."
apocalypticradish
Arms Down
"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."
Fatmouse84
10 Years Actually
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"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."
"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."
Gecko-911
I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.
This tale is haunting.
High/Low
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"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."
LeastFormal9366
"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."
IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI
The Cursed
"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."
"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."
SmoreOfBabylon
Stay In
"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."
"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."
worldbound0514
Dreams and Facts
"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."
"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."
mattshonestreddit
"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."
Darthdemented
Cracked
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"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."
Choice-Grapefruit-44
"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."
MacyTmcterry
I love my knuckles.
Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.
Every now and then, a friend of ours might say something, or we might overhear a complete stranger say something that makes us stop in our tracks.
More often than not, what we can't believe we just heard is something so ridiculous, we can't help but put the person who said it in their place.
Other times, however, what we just heard might have stunned us silent because of how shockingly clever it was.
Resulting in our not wanting to scold or yell at someone, but rather give them a handshake.
Redditor SubmergingOriginal was curious to hear the sharpest and wittiest things they've ever heard, from friends and strangers alike, leading them to ask:
"Enough with the dumbest; what is the wittiest thing you've ever heard someone say?"
Don't Give Me So Much Credit...
'I was on a team at work that was on a project working insane overtime."
"One night after an 80-90 hour week, we were all sitting around the table trying to finish up so we could go home."
"Around 11, my buddy's wife called, dubious about the hours he'd been keeping."
"We heard her through the line - 'are you cheating on me?'"
"Exasperated, he looked at our boss, then replied 'honey, if I was cheating on you, I would have been home by now'."- lionbatcher
Eternal Optimism...
"Asked a blind guy if he'd been blind his whole life."
"He said 'Not yet'."- Feeling_Mode_6465
Free time Isn't The Only Thing He Has On His Hands...
"My brother got a vasectomy and when the doctor was releasing him and giving him instructions (with the nurse listening in), one of the orders was to 'come back and have a follow-up appointment after you’ve ejaculated 30 times'.”
"Without missing a beat my brother asked 'what time do you open tomorrow?'”
"The nurse couldn’t keep it together after hearing that."- UtahUtopia
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Double Whammy!
"My pal uses the phrase 'he doesn’t look strong enough to carry information' and it cracks me up every time."
"Calling someone stupid and weak in one fell swoop."- JennyW93
Can't Hide Your DNA...
'Whenever I jokingly insult my mum, she says 'that must be where you get it from'."
"She cracked the code."
"I can never offend her without offending myself."- JennyW93
Self-Sufficient!
"My brother was a line cook at a New Orleans restaurant."
"My mom was in town, staying at a fancy hotel, and he stopped by after work, still wearing his kitchen whites."
"He was reading a newspaper in the lobby waiting for her to come down when the shocked lobby manager sputtered at him, 'MAY I HELP YOU!?!?'
"He answered, 'thanks, but I know how to read',” and went back to his paper."- jobrody
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A Miracle!
"My brother-in-law’s comment."
"The entire family went out for my mother’s 80th birthday and after the meal we all went to a local park, largely occupied by the elderly, to rest."
"My mother needed crutches at this point, and they were resting against her bench."
"My 10-year-old niece, who looked like every starving waif image from Dickens, grabbed the crutches and started hobbling round the park."
"All the OAPs were following her progress with looks of pity until my brother ran up behind her, and kicked away the crutches."
"There was an audible gasp from round the park and then my niece picked the crutches back up and started chasing my brother, clearly intending to hit him."
"In the confused silence my brother-in-law’s voice rang out 'Praise be! She can walk again!'"
"We still think this was the highlight of the birthday celebrations."- DdraigGwyn
Still Legal, Whichever Way You Cut It...
"I picked up my pleasantly tipsy boyfriend from a nightclub."
"We were stopped by the Police for a random breath test."
"They asked me my age, and I said, 33."
"My bf blurted out '33? You told me you were 22'."
"Police just laughed and let me go."- Aggravating-Corgi379
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A Bit Too On The Nose?
"Business law class in college years ago, talking about the issues that black Americans had before the Civil Rights."
"Amendment, trying to travel through the south with the discrimination so rampant, trying to find restaurants to serve them and decent lodgings."
"My instructor was posing a hypothetical: 'So you pull up out front of this place, you're exhausted from driving for hours, and you see the sign out front says 'Ku Klux Klan Motel'."
"'What would you expect to find there?'"
"Without missing a beat, from the back of the room came this gem: "'Extra sheets in every room?'"- NedsAtomicDB
Not Yet, Anyway...
"I was working with my friend and his dad."
"My friend (26) heard an ice cream truck near where we were working."
"He asked his dad if he could have a couple dollars."
"His dad asked, 'what for?'"
"My friend told his dad that there was an ice cream truck in the neighborhood, and that they were playing music."
"My friends dad told him "'They don't charge anything to listen to the music'."- tatersalad1234567890
Words Escape You In The Literal "Heat" Of The Moment...
"A friend of mine is a teacher and her husband is known for his wit."
"She told this story to him:"
"One day at school a kid took the hall pass and returned reeking like smoke."
"She asked the kid if he’d been smoking and he denied it over and over."
"She was about to send him to the office when she noticed smoke coming from somewhere."
"She told the kid and he realized that he didn’t put his cig out completely and it was burning in his pants pocket."
"The kid noticed and frantically tried to put it out and someone finally poured water on it."
"Her husband sat listening to this with a weird look on his face."
"She asked him what was wrong."
“'What’s wrong???'"
"'This was probably the only chance you’ll have in your life to say literally, ‘liar,liar, pants on fire’ and you missed your chance'."- Luder714
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Amazing What You Might Say A Few Drinks In...
"When I went to a renaissance faire once, I went to a beer tent and ordered a Newcastle Brown Ale (seemed the most fitting for the surroundings)."
"The beer wench, without skipping a beat, said, 'Everyone wants a Newcastle - no one wants to remodel!'"- jayhof52
Read The Room People!
"My dad wiped out when skiing down a mountain and lost a ski."
"After a few minutes of hunting for it, he gives up, slings the one remaining ski over a shoulder and starts walking down the mountain in his ski boots."
"About half-way down, another skier stops and goes 'Gee! Did you lose a ski?'"
"My dad instantly replied 'No, I was out for a walk and found one!'"- PeterJoAl
There's a reason your mother always told you to "use your words".
As clever remarks can have a much more lasting effect on people than a push or shove.