"This is a maaaaaan's world!" **in my very best James Brown voice**
But that doesn't necessarily mean they're all out here having the time of their life. Reddit user "Kyoto_j" asked:
"Guys of reddit, whats one thing you hate about being a dude?"
So we're about to be very honest here and admit that I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't this. Yeah, we're about to talk about penises (a lot) but there's a lot more going on than just "locker room" jokes.
We'll totally start there, though...
Problematic Peeing
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"Split stream when I pee." - Bantabury97
"A few mornings back I finally did it, guys. The legendary triple stream is real. Rejoice." - theyfoundmeomg
"And the little dribble at the end I can't begin to count how many times I thought I was safe and then had to wash my pants" - FlowerGlock
Traumatic Erections
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"When I was in middle school having to deal with spontaneous erections was so embarrassing to the point of being traumatic."
"Girls have periods, and we can never compete with that level of inconvenience, but these members of ours ain't a walk in the park." - lastusernameiswearr
"I'm 34 and it still happens from time to time. Mostly when I'm tired and bored, which usually happens at meetings and courses for work, similar environments to a schoolroom. Going to the bathroom to crank one out, and chugging down some caffeine usually helps." - Hawk_Thor
Sensitive
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"I'm very, very emotionally sensitive and people laugh at me for it."
"Just the other day I made a post in a Facebook group reviewing a restaurant I had a great experience in, and all these strange men and women made fun of me. I wish I could blow it off but it hurt my feelings so bad, and I can't just move on and shake it off."
"I wanted to either write every mean person who wrote, and tell them how much they hurt my feelings, or hurt them myself. I still even get caught up thinking for hours sometimes about my bullies in primary school. I'm 31."
"Men can't talk to anyone." - Yusi-D-Jordan
Bad Intentions
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"I'm always worried if people think I'm being a creep or a perv or something. A lot of messed up sh*t happens in the world and I don't blame anyone, but I hate being self-conscious about it." - Hidden_Squid14
"Yep, I would never dream of harming a kid and I keep friendly around them, but I fear that people will think ill of my intentions when I'm just being nice to the kid who decided to say hi to me" - Furydragonstormer
"When my kids were little I had the cops called on me (twice) for being at a playground with my kids during the day."
"They said the women thought I had kidnapped them or something like that. My sons look a lot like me (poor boys)." - Reloaded9mm
"Yes, this is a big one for me. I pretty much always ignore kids unless I'm forced to acknowledge their presence."
"When I was younger, there was a friend of mine who had an adorable daughter who was 3 or 4 and for some insane reason she loved me to pieces. I didn't do anything to deserve her affection, but she almost always came over to me and just smiled and hung around me."
"I wasn't very comfortable around kids, and I'm still not, but after a while I started to get used to her and actually liked playing with her and talking to her. It was entirely innocent, and not anything I sought out. But it turns out her family thought she hung around me all the time because I did something inappropriate to her, or something."
"I think they were mostly just questioning my motives for playing with her and talking to her."
"They once asked me if I gave her candy and whenever she came over to me someone would stand there awkwardly, watching me out of the corner of their eye. In a way I don't blame them. I'm a pretty big guy, and it might be hard to believe I would never hurt anything or anyone."
"But finding out that people thought I was creepy because an adorable little girl wanted to be my friend, which I honestly had no control over was a major hit to my self esteem." - Im_Just_Cake
Fatherhood Is Fabulous
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"I'm a stay at home dad. I don't know how to put it simply, or what the right term is, but I have been semi-frequently harassed, berated, and otherwise made to look foolish or feel ashamed because I'm a man who loves his babies."
"Out at the park with my son? 'Poor guy has to be with his kids while the missus is at home. She must have him whipped.' "
"At the grocery store with the baby? 'Oh you're so sweet doing this for your wife.' "
"At the doctor doing checkups/shots? I'll have to deal with random people saying I either don't know what I'm talking about, that I just think my son is special, that I cant be trusted to give info on their health because I'm not their mom, and that I 'need to tell my wife...' "
"Those aren't bad, it's just obnoxious."
"The part that really sucks is that my friends make fun of me for it, or when an argument happen they throw it in my face that I don't have a job and therefore am not a real man."
"Just the status quo that a man must work to death and a woman is the only one fit to stay home grinds my gears."
"I know how to change a diaper. Yes, I'm happy. Yes, it was MY choice to stay home."
"No, I don't mind not getting to f*ck off with my friends all the time. Yes, I know how to deal with children's medical issues."
"And no, I wouldn't trade it for the world." - D3athraxys
Size Matters
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"I'm 6'3" and I have a problem with feeling imposing even though I'm just trying to exist."
"I'm very awkward because of it, because I not only watch every word that comes out of my mouth, but I'm also very aware of how tall I am & that some people, usually women, might be more guarded towards me if they don't know me."
"The biggest issue is where I work."
"I work in retail and there's a lot of underage 17 year old kids working there. I usually don't talk with them for too long because I'm afraid I'll seem creepy to them, or to people who might be pricking up their ears to make sure I'm not trying to make a move on them or something like that."
"And I hope I don't come across like my problems are bigger than other people's. But these are definitely problems I face on a day to day basis." - Im_Just_A_Cake
The Most Unexplained Events In History | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
History is littered with unsolved mysteries. Whether those answers are buried somewhere or lost forever, it doesn't stop people from wondering or hypothesizi..."One of my best friends has talked to me about this issue. He is a big guy (6'5") with a beard. He definitely has a presence."
"Even though he is amazing with kids he avoids them because he tries so hard to avoid a sense of impropriety. It's very sad to me that he misses out on the joy kids can bring because of societal expectations and biases."
"Similarly if a woman is walking alone at night he will go out of his way to walk on the other side of the street or farther away from her so she doesn't feel threatened."
"These discussions with him gave me a lot of perspective. As a woman I have not really worried about my presence being intimidating or threatening to others, so hearing how hard he tries to make others comfortable made me kind of sad." - deej394
"Came here to post this. I'm 6'4 250lbs and tend to walk to the gym at night in the city."
"The shortest route is a side street which is basically an alley at some parts. I tend to walk somewhat quickly and I always somehow end up behind a younger woman."
"Undoubtedly I scare them as I try to walk quickly past to avoid being any more looming as a dangerous person as I might look. I always feel guilty like I'm doing something wrong when I'm just trying to walk. I didn't ask to be this big haha" - Rybobo
Pumpkin Abduction
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"I live in Rhode Island. At our zoo we have a pumpkin festival in October. The tickets are expensive but it's fun and they have pumpkin beer."
"Anyway I bought two tickets for me and a friend to go. That day he was sick and canceled. I ended up taking my nearly two-year-old daughter."
"We had a good time. When I was going home I realized that it was nearly 8:00 pm and we hadn't eaten dinner, so we stopped into a local restaurant."
"My daughter was well behaved. We ate dinner and left. She was a little testy as we got to the car but nothing unusual in any way."
"We go home and my daughter goes to sleep."
"About a half an hour later, a cop shows up. He said someone from the restaurant called the police thinking I abducted her."
"They said she seemed 'too quiet' when we were eating. It was 8:30 when we ate and her bedtime is normally 8:00 so yeah she was probably a little sedate."
"But seriously!?"
"Anyway, we wake up our daughter and she's clearly in no danger. The cop apologized and left. To be fair to the cop, I think he thought the whole thing was ridiculous from the start but had to do his job."
"But this would have NEVER would have happened if my wife would have brought my daughter and not me! I was basically accused of being a child trafficker because my daughter was a little sleepy." - Geri-psychiatrist-RI
Compliments, Please
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"Never received a compliment in my life expect the time a girl told me she liked my boots in 8th grade."
"Thanks Maddie I appreciate it still" - Aviator122
"I sometimes hate how much I crave compliments." - tpaolicchi
"I'm 38 and the last time someone complimented on my looks or appearance was when I was 30 at my old job when a woman said my glasses and hat combo really suited me." - Fkyourslipper
"It's super rare, for sure."
"A woman at the bus stop once told me my sweater looked nice and I instinctually asked 'Excuse me?' thinking I misheard, 'cause there's no way a woman just complimented me...'cause that never happens."
"It was super nice, made my day. Ladies: compliment men too, please." - putinmy@ss
Support Systems?
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"There's no support for men. Try to file for food stamps as a single man, or see how the courts treat you if you get a divorce, or talk about needing therapy."
"You get the same advice every time: 'go work out, throw yourself into your work, get a hobby.' "
"One of the most destructive, most infuriating thing people can say is, 'Man Up.' "
"Well, I'm not a stoic piece of driftwood, I'm human. I have feelings and basic needs just like anyone else - and its literally deadly to hold that sh*t in."
"Yeah, our fathers and their fathers held their feelings in, but they also dropped dead in their 40s and 50s of massive heart attacks." - GhostOnToast
Creepy At A Kid's Movie
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"Per my dad who loves animation:"
"Now that my kids are grown, I have to wait a few weeks when a movie comes out so I can see it and not be the creepy solo older man at a kids movie." - M0ck_duck
"I went to see 'The Secret of Nimh' a few years ago back when the Alamo Drafthouse would show kids movies on Saturday mornings."
"I bought a soda, some popcorn and settled in."
"About 30 minutes in I realized an employee was standing directly behind me (I was in the back row.) He didn't move until the movie was over." - cbpantskiller
Responsibility
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"Kind of a love/hate thing, but being responsible - for the wife, the kids, the house, cars, everything."
"At the end of the day, when something goes wrong or everyone is scared, everyone looks down the table to me and says 'What are we gonna do?' "
"Goes with the role of being the 'man of the house,' but it does wear me out." - Opposite-Algae8912
No One Told My Heart
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"For me, it was when my wife and I lost 4 children during late term pregnancy in just 5 years. It was loss after loss after loss."
"Everyone always asked me how my wife was doing and told me how sorry they felt for her. Not once did anyone ask or care about how I was doing."
"I put my wife first always, but it would have been nice for someone to care about how I was doing. I felt like nobody did; even my mother said guys don't get attached till the child is born."
"I guess no one told my heart that rule." - Successful_Panic7184
Thanks, Homer
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"Dumb Husband Syndrome."
"Thanks to Homer Simpson, Phil Dunphy, Al Bundy, etc., the entire world seems to believe that your standard husband is too stupid to accomplish even the most mundane task on his own."
"I've seen a lot of guys (myself included) just going about their business and people feel compelled to step in and correct them or tell them how to do something." - SeaTie
Now that you've read what Reddit has to say, what are your thoughts on some of the tougher aspects of being a man?
- People Explain What They Hate Most About The World Today - George Takei ›
- People Break Down What People Did That Inspired Immediate Hatred - George Takei ›
- People Confess What They Learned Embarrassingly Late In Life - George Takei ›
- People Confess Which Things They Hate About Their Partner But Can't Tell Them - George Takei ›
- People Break Down What Absolutely Deserves All The Hate It Gets - George Takei ›
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.