Hairdressers Reveal The Useless Things Their Customers Say To Them
[rebelmouse-image 18350584 is_animated_gif=For some, getting your hair cut can be a stressful endeavor. You only have a matter of moments after they call your name to scramble and remember every hairstyle you've ever seen, what you like, blend them all together, only to say, "Uh...shorter?" to your hairdresser. You sit in the chair for twenty minutes and walk away sadder than ever. So, thankfully, the internet exists to open up dialogues between hair stylists and clients. Reddit user, r/MrVinceyVince, asked on Reddit:
Barbers/Hairdressers of Reddit: how exactly do you want customers to communicate what they want to you? What do they say/do that is unhelpful?
Tip Your Stylist
[rebelmouse-image 18350585 is_animated_gif=now if you really love having your hair washed and want it to last 5 minutes (oh god, please) how do you ask for that without sounding like a creep?
This. Remember to tip the person washing your hair. They remember when you come in and do an extra good job.
If my clients mention they have had a rough day or week I'll spend extra time shampooing. Also just ask if they have time for a longer shampoo. We all know that's the best part of getting your hair done.
"Really? You Sure?"
[rebelmouse-image 18350587 is_animated_gif=After a really good haircut, I asked the barber what I should ask for next time. She said, "Number 4".
So I go in to the same shop a couple months later (hair's pretty long at this point), get a different stylist, and she asks me what I want. "Number 4," I say.
"All over?" she asks.
"Of course!" I reply.
"Really? You sure?"
"Yeah!"
"Ok," she says... and runs the clippers straight down the middle of my head, from front to back.
That's when I realized that a "Number 4" was a clipper size - and not a style of haircut off a menu.
You're doing important work here, OP!
If someone cutting my hair asks 'You sure?', I would cease being sure. :)
At that point there would be a chat to make sure we're on the same page, and if we didn't get there I'd probably walk.
Cut Them Loose
[rebelmouse-image 18350588 is_animated_gif=Related question: How do I say "I don't trust myself to make decisions about what will make my potato-face look good, can I just leave that to your experimentation?"
In my experience if you go into a decent salon and give them free reign it always comes out well.
You sometimes have to convince them that you really will be happy with whatever they do but they are usually excited at having the artistic freedom. Sometimes they consult a coworker. I've never had one seem at all bothered by this.
I tell them something like "I don't want any particular style i just want to look nice, you're a pro and I'm sure you know much better than me what to do with this mess".
I have never received a bad haircut with this method at a salon. Can't say I recommend it at a barber though they do not seem very interested in this in my experience.
A couple of times I got some bold styles that I was unsure of at first but each time I got compliments so I stopped worrying. You usually will have to learn to use some products with this method though, be warned.
Ask Them To Repeat
[rebelmouse-image 18350589 is_animated_gif=You need to go to a higher end salon or hair stylist place for that, even though it will definitely be expensive. Your traditional corner barbershop or SuperCuts isn't for creating a whole new look. Nicer salons have people that can work with no instruction from you, or even help suss out of you preferences you didn't know you had. If you like what they do, ask them to explain all of it so that you can repeat it next time.
Should've Gone With Harry Styles...
[rebelmouse-image 18350590 is_animated_gif=Hairstylist who works primarily on men's hair here.
As everyone has said, photos are always good. But I'm not a magician. I had a little white blonde kid get mad at me once because he brought in a picture of Zayn Malik, in an easy undercut, so I did the cut exactly like the photo and the kid got pissy because, even though the haircut was exactly the same, he "didn't look like Zayn". Direct quote.
Also keep in mind that any picture you bring in that is not of yourself will almost certainly require styling, so you should be prepared for that. If you don't want to use any product, it won't look like the picture, but we can discuss an alternative compromise.
Be Okay With What You Ask
[rebelmouse-image 18350591 is_animated_gif=My boyfriend (doesn't use reddit) does hair at a high end salon. Every day he has stories of women who ask for one thing, which he delivers precisely, and then they dislike it.
For instance, the other day, a woman wanted her bangs just above her eyebrows. He had them barely touching the top of her eyebrows so that he didn't take too much off. Her bangs even matched the picture she brought in.
Despite this, she claimed that he cut them too high.
Most of the other problems stem from people bringing in a picture and saying "make me look like this." Except: it turns out that if you have a fat head and that model you brought in a picture of has a skinny head (or any other head differences), that same haircut will look WILDLY different on you. People do not understand this (I used to do the same thing before we got together).
Can You Elaborate, Please?
[rebelmouse-image 18350592 is_animated_gif=As a barber who's made many mistakes by assuming what people want I now ask a lot of questions. Some people are awkward and don't like to talk but I don't care. I carefully and respectfully ask them questions to figure out what they want. Most men aren't picky. Some men are. Some have no idea what they want. Its my job to guide them in the right direction. I cut a lot of walk in customers and have narrowed down the questions to just a few. Here's an example of how it usually goes.
Barber: So what are we doing for you today?
Client: Uhh just a trim please.
Barber: Okay. Would you like clippers on the sides and back or do you prefer scissors only?
Client: I'm not sure actually.
Barber: Okay. Do you want the hair off of your ear or touching your ear?
Client: I like it off my ears please.
Barber: Okay. How often do you get your haircut? (I ask this because it gives me an idea of how often they get it cut and how short I can take it without them freaking out)
Client: Usually around once a month.
Barber: Okay. I see you like to keep it short on the sides and longer up top. If I use the clippers do you want to see skin on the sides and back? Or do you prefer it longer?
Client: No skin please. A little longer than that.
Barber: Okay you got it. (Now I know that I can use a number 2 or 3 on the sides and back and it'll be just the right length for them. Also, since the client didn't know what he wanted initially I know I don't have to do anything fancy like a skin fade or anything too "modern" since it was never mentioned and there was no picture.
Limit The Amount Of Pictures
[rebelmouse-image 18350593 is_animated_gif=Pictures help, but don't bring in a thousand. We're trained and experienced to spot subtle differences--what looks like the same haircut in different angles to you across ten pictures looks like ten drastically different haircuts to us.
I recently had someone come in with a picture of a girl who was clearly rocking a short haircut with extensions, and ask for similar layers, except she didn't realize she was showing a picture of extensions and that in order to get that same look, she'd basically walk out with scene kid layers--which of course she didn't want.
So pictures are very helpful. But limit yourself to three, and rank them in order of most favorite to least favorite.
Don't Feel Like Chatting Today?
[rebelmouse-image 18350594 is_animated_gif=My hairdresser SO wants to start a salon where people pick their own capes. Blue cape means you want to converse with her. Red cape means you prefer not to make small talk during your cut. I think it's genius.
Keep It Down To Earth
[rebelmouse-image 18350595 is_animated_gif=As a hairdresser I like my clients to be realistic. Please don't come in looking like Mama June, show me a photo of Kim Kardashian and hoping to come out looking like Kate Moss. Come in with an idea of what you would like, how much you are willing to pay and ask questions about upkeep and maintenance. Ask your hairdresser what they think will suit your hair type, skin tone and face shape.
Be forthright and set boundaries on length/fringes etc. Don't be afraid to cut (see what I did there?!) in and ask questions and raise concerns during consultation and the treatment.
Don't Be Afraid To Say They Messed Up
[rebelmouse-image 18350596 is_animated_gif=I've always had good luck with explaining my lifestyle/level of commitment to maintaining my hair, a general length I want it, and going from there. Usually if I say something like "Ok, I work a manual labor job so it has to stay long enough to go in a ponytail or bun, and I generally don't take the time to do much more with it. I think I'd like the ends trimmed and some longer layers please."
Side note: the last haircut I got, I think the hairdresser slipped or something and cut a random section on the side of my head down to like 4inches (my hair is down to my waist). So now there is a weird patch that has to be pinned back because it won't reach my bun. Should I have brought this up with her? It's not like anything could be done to fix it once it is cut off :/
Yes absolutely. This is our livelihood and most educated and successful hair dressers would like to know if They f---ed up. That's how we learn and get better. Now I have been doing hair long enough to know if I made a mistake that drastic., There's a good chance the person cutting your hair realized what they did and tried to pretend like it didn't happen. Which is extremely annoying. Sorry that happened to you.
Taper Your Expectations
[rebelmouse-image 18350597 is_animated_gif=I'm not a hairdresser, by a daughter of one that hears all her complaints when she's done with work...
- DONT LIE about your hair history. A professional can see right through your lies. If you DIY, don't deny it. Colours don't just appear like they do on paper. Colour undertones are everything.
- Don't expect to get the exact colour you want, or even worst - expecting it to be done all in one day. Unless you want to damage your hair and sit here for 12 hours - you're going to have to do it in steps.
Here! Educate Yourself!
[rebelmouse-image 18350598 is_animated_gif=Also I get really uncomfortable when the barber asks me what shampoo and conditioner I use. I answer and they gave me a very disapproving look and say how bad the texture of my hair is. I get insulted each time I sit on the chair :(
I really have good thick hair. :(
Some of it is education. All stylists know Tresemme and Pantene are horrible for your hair but may not know why. They are made with petrochemicals, have silicones and waxes in them that build up on the hair (you can actually scrape this shit off with the edge of your shears it's disgusting) which in turn cause breakage, and dryness. Some places do try to sell you things, but some just want your hair to feel and look great, and good shampoo and conditioner is the MOST important step to getting healthy scalp and hair.
Do Whatever You Want
[rebelmouse-image 18350600 is_animated_gif=I've been a hair stylists for 13 years...
...If you are not sure what you want, have an idea of what you currently like and don't like about your hair, especially if you are a new client. Saying " Do whatever you want, " can be very stressful when you're a new client as we don't know anything about you. I may think a really short hair cut would look great but you may still want to be able to put your hair in a pony tail. Tell us that!!!! I tend to ask a lot of questions about your daily routine, your job, your activity level, how often you're willing to maintain your colour or cut, etc... Please answer those questions honestly. It really helps me create a look that will not only look fantastic but will be comfortable for you to recreate at home. If I give you a cut and style that requires 30 minutes of blow drying every day and you're not willing or able to put that time in, you will not love your hair and you'll hate me, and probably review me poorly.
If you have any areas you are self conscious about ( ears, forehead, chin, etc... ) tell me. Please. A good hairdresser won't judge and won't think poorly of you. We just need to know.
I Can't Give You Brad Pitt's Face
[rebelmouse-image 18350601 is_animated_gif=Have an idea of what you want. Any good barber will ask questions and explain to you any problems you may have if your hair won't work well with the cut you want. Don't be afraid to communicate. In this day and age pictures are great and easy to start from. Unhelpful "just cut it" or showing me five pictures of Brad Pitt all with different hairstyles and saying " my wife wants this" That's great champ but I just work with hair I can't give you Brad Pitts face.
Being the boss can really suck.
I've done it a few times.
One of the worst things is terminating people.
It might sound glamorous and it can be a slight power trip.
But in the end it sucks.
Even when people deserve it, being the messenger is stressful.
Nobody wants to ruin another person's day or life.
Let's see who else agrees.
Redditor sirdigbykittencaesar wanted to hear from the bosses of the world about the terminations they wish they could take back, so they asked:
"Bosses of Reddit, have you ever seriously regretted firing someone, and if so why?"
It must suck when you're duped into firing the wrong person and then you find out too late.
That Day
Kids In The Hall Comedy GIF by CBCGiphy"A long time ago I was asked to fire a salesman. He was kind, but not good at selling. It was a week before Christmas. I told my boss I would fire him on Jan 3. The boss said no and fired him that day. I regretted not giving him the holiday."
Tootalllewis
The Picker
"I had an assistant for about a year, who was a pretty good assistant for a difficult working situation. My boss, the district manager, hated him, though. She kept trying to catch him screwing up when I wasn't around. The trouble was, the company paid poorly, so talent was hard to come by, training was difficult, and the hours were 48 a week MINIMUM. This guy was the only assistant I had who didn't quit in less than a year."
"My stores were so undermanned, if this guy left, I'd be working 80-hour weeks like before I got him. The only reason it wasn't more than 80 hours was because the store's malls or shopping centers actually closed at night."
"Finally, one day, she wrote him up because she said 'a secret shopper' said he was picking his nose. This guy, who at least had SOME dignity, refused to sign the disciplinary paperwork. 'I want proof: I am not sitting in the showroom, picking my nose.' My boss said, 'he won't sign it, insubordination.'"
"'Fire him.' I really tried to reason with her, but she wanted him gone one way or another. 'Either you fire him, or I'll come in and fire both of you.'"
"I had to fire a man for picking his nose. I quit shortly after that because I knew this was just the lowest I had ever sunk in management. I still feel bad about all that."
punkwalrus
This Guy
"Years ago I got a call from a competing engineering company. They screwed up a job and rather than own up, decided to blame a senior technologist as the scapegoat. His immediate boss was against it but the partners demanded it. He phoned us and said 'You should hire this guy.'"
"We did and he was an excellent employee until he retired 20 years later. Our gain, their loss."
"The best part is that the guy who called me (who was a senior engineer) quit shortly thereafter and the company closed down a couple of years later - Karma I guess."
somewhat_random
The Team Member
"Someone else hired someone with no experience after I voted 'no.' I knew he would be in over his head and he had a good job already. They didn't train him or coach him. And then after about 6 months my boss's boss comes to me and tells me to build a case against him... my team member... and to fire him."
"I quit within the next two months. F them... I'm not doing their dirty work to solve a problem they caused and enable them to keep their hands clean in the process."
AdUnfair3836
It's just a puff...
4-20 Weed GIFGiphy"I was once forced to fire an awesome employee for failing a drug test (weed). And just a few years later it was legalized."
PsiOryx
When will we just let people smoke freely?
Bad Vibes
Duck Reaction GIF by PLAYMOBILGiphy"I had to fire someone on my actual last day once. And right beforehand, everyone was making a joke about the person I fired getting fired. That sucked. Not a good vibes last day at all."
backyardvegas
Terror
"I had an employee about 4 years ago now who had chronic attendance issues. I kept her MUCH longer than my boss was happy with because she was decent and very genuine. But eventually, I just couldn't put it off anymore. When we were in the room talking she burst into tears and looked terrified and told me her husband was NOT going to be happy with her. She said he wouldn't hurt her and she didn't need me to call the police for her, but even still I'm worried he was physically abusive. The level of terror was up there."
AlisonChained
Merry Christmas
"About 20 years ago I was running a bar Christmas Eve - chaotic night as we were incredibly short-staffed due to heavy snow and a lot of our workers being from a different area. Bar downstairs was closing up and the staff was being moved to the upstairs. We were £200 short in the bar and the main manager interrogated three out of the four - conveniently not the supervisor he was having an affair with."
"That supervisor was also in charge of the float and was generally sh*t at her job. That float for one until was convenient £200."
"Main boss wouldn't consider his fling could do wrong (a common occurrence) and he didn't want to deal with it. So it became me (the lowest of four managers) to sack three people for suspected theft. On Christmas Eve knowing I wasn't in any position financially or in terms of job security to say no."
"Only joy was that his wife finally caught him in the affair and his whole life went to sh*t soon after."
geekhalla
Regrets
"I was forced to fire a junior person on my team, my boss gave me no choice, because she had used a competitor's idea as inspiration (working in design). But it was our intermediary boss who told her to use the idea. I wish I would have taken a harder stand but I was afraid of being fired myself, I was only a few months on the job. I still regret it to this day but the other woman has had a good career so that’s a plus at least."
Keyspam102
Awful
"Had an underperforming employee, tried a pip, coaching, moving to a different job role with the team. Eventually came to terms with not being the right person for the job/team terminated employee. A week later her child dies in a house fire where they lost everything. I donated 1000 to the go find me but still can’t help but wonder if my termination set off the events that caused this."
smallboxofcrayons
Phony
That Is All Meryl Streep GIFGiphy"Nope. There's a long process before it gets to that point and almost nobody does get to that point. Except for the guy who got the job using fake identity papers. There was no long process to fire him, it went very, very fast once we found out."
AdmiralBofa
I hated firing people.
There is never a great time.
While we've all seen familiar items in TV shows, or even obvious product placement, most TV shows and movies also include items that were specifically made for their story line.
Though they're meant to be fictitious, we can't lie and say that we haven't wished for some of these items to be real.
Redditor splendid_moisture asked:
"What is your favorite fictitious product from a TV show?"
Instant Toast
"As someone who doesn’t have a toaster and hates the wait time but loves toast, that instant toast-cutting knife from 'Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy' sounds reallyyy good right about now."
- TechsSandwich
Quick-Fix Prescriptions
"'Colon Blow' from SNL (Saturday Night Live) with Phil Hartman."
- Ok_Report_6272
"Or Chris Farley’s 'Hibernol.'"
"While you sleep, living off stored body fat, the cold will run its course. In fact, many other colds and flus may come and go, but you won’t even know it, because you’re out cold!"
- Bosoxbooster
Vitameatavegamin
"Vitameatavegamin from 'I Love Lucy.'"
- Wonderful_Horror7215
"It's so tasty, too!"
- emmennwhy
"Just like candy... honest."
- spitel
"Do you pop out at parties? Are you unpoopular?"
- 1201_alarm
"Lucy, you got some 'splainin to do!"
- deadwood
Big Kahuna Burger
"The Big Kahuna Burger from 'Pulp Fiction'!?"
- naugasnake
"That's some serious gourmet s**t."
- r2mayo
"Now THAT is a tasty burger!"
- quackupreddit
Log Log Log
"'Log' from 'Ren and Stimpy.'"
- Canazabis
"What rolls down stairs, alone or in pairs, and over your neighbor's dog?"
- BetterThanHorus
"What's great for a snack and fits on your back?"
- WishBear19
"IT'S LOG, LOG, LOG."
- maggot_smegma
Bachelor Chow
"Bachelor Chow from 'Futurama.'"
- TheRogueToad
"When I was a bachelor, there was a time when I was like, 'I could go for that if it were a real thing...'"
- macjoven
"The way my husband ate before we got married? Yeah, I'm pretty sure he would have just bought Bachelor Chow by the case and eaten it from the can with a spoon every day. They were pretty on point with that one, lol (laughing out loud)."
- niceoldgranny
Krabby Patty
"The Krabby Patty of course."
- DarkCinnamon
"Ravioli, ravioli, give me the formuoli."
- grantgoldenboy
"It'd probably taste bad to humans. It's made for sea creatures and is meant to be eaten underwater."
- fluffynuckels
Products from "Back to the Future"
"Hoverboards from 'Back to the Future.'"
- VodkaMargarine
"I'd actually rather have the pizza hydrator."
- Hammerheadhunter
"Those auto-tighten shoes he wears in 'Back to the Future 2' blew my little mind back in the day. They're actually a thing now."
- TripleB_Darksyde
Veridian Dynamics, Period.
"Anything from Veridian Dynamics on 'Better Off Ted.'"
- Paxil_popper
"Even the weaponized pumpkins?"
"...I sure miss 'Better Off Ted.'"
- UnitedCitizen
"'Veridian Dynamics. We're the future of food, developing the next generation of food and food-like products. Tomatoes... the size of this baby, lemon-flavored fish, chicken that lay 16 eggs a day, which is a lot for a chicken, organic vegetables chock-full of antidepressants.'"
"'At Veridian Dynamics, we can even make radishes so spicy that people can't eat them, but we're not, because people can't eat them. Veridian Dynamics. Food. Yum.'"
- Hey_look_new
"The commercials were the best part. 'We treat our employees like family. That’s why we make them work weekends and all major holidays, because that’s when families should be together.'"
- edgestander
Also Anything by ACME
"The complete ACME line of products from 'Looney Tunes.'"
- sickelite
"Slingshot, dynamite, they've got it all!"
- Snoo-35252
An Egg Salad Sandwich
"The egg salad sandwich that Fry ate in 'Futurama' that made him smarter and muscular."
- wrexmason
"What's that black cracker? Tomato."
- Mdmrtgn
Fight Milk
"'Fight Milk' from 'It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.'"
- DrRonny
"I drink some every day so I can fight like a crow."
- Caiden0907
Resources from 'Star Trek'
"The replicator from Star Trek. Though not too sure if it categorizes as a product in a world without money."
- AdmiralClover
"The Holodeck!"
- sharrrper
"Yes, and the transporter... though it freaks me out."
- RhymesWithLasagna
"Even 'Star Trek' has a character who doesn't like them."
- AdmiralClover
"Totally! I get why. I've had so many conversations about it with my husband trying to understand the theory especially when the transporter pads are used vs site to site transports... And it seems to me a person is taken apart and then put back together elsewhere, and it's questionable if that's the same person really. But the convenience seems so wonderful!"
- RhymesWithLasagna
Cleaning Supplies
"Mr. Sparkle."
"It's disrespectful to dirt."
- okay_victory_yes
Getting By with a Little Help from Our Friends
"The milk spout thing that Joey was in a commercial for on 'Friends.'"
- InspectionNo9917
"ÜBERWEISS from 'Friends.' As a German, I can't stop laughing about it."
- Ser_Optimus
"Ross's sandwich from Season Five of 'Friends' that Monica saved for him. I know I could make something similar, but I want that one."
- Cho596
From food to cleaning supplies to techy gadgets, it seems most viewers have wanted something to be real from their favorite shows at some point.
Somehow, our shows would feel all the more real if we could connect through a shared object, in the way we've already shared experiences with our favorite characters.
Traditions are passed down from generation to generation and are preserved because they provide a sense of comfort.
Groups of people and families repeat time-honored customs without a compelling reason other than the fact that it's what the generation before them engaged in.
However, there are some traditions that are outdated by today's standards and are ones people could do without.
These were explored when Redditor NewImprovement1160 asked:
"What’s a tradition that you think people should get rid of?"
Cakes are meant for consuming, not this.
Unwelcome Facial
"Smashing of the face on the birthday cake."
– Arlington817
"Similarly, shoving cake in your new spouse's face during a wedding reception. I hate it."
– whomp1970
Red Flag?
"This tradition is so bad. The bride perfects her makeup and gets her face slathered with cake and can't just wash it off like a guy would."
"One of my friends was getting married and she told me she discussed the cake smashing with her fiancé before hand and explained why he shouldn't do it. When it came time, they fed each other and she dabbed a small bit of frosting on his nose; everyone laughed, it was cute."
"He was offended and tried to smash the whole plate in her face. She backed away in time and walked away; everyone was laughing...except for him. He chased her down, grabbed her by the neck, and smeared his cake all over her face. It was like watching a 10-year-old teach his 6-year-old sibling a lesson."
"She tried to laugh it off as she retreated to the bathroom for repairs, but I could tell she was seething. The room went ice-cold."
A Follow-Up
"To everyone asking if she immediately dumped him: of course not, this was a real story. They've been married for 20 years and have a couple of kids. She was 22 and poor and the hottest (horse) girl at our university, working on her Mrs. degree. He was 30 with his own business; he bought her a Porsche she uses to travel the horse jumping circuit with her daughter (and her horse). He wanted a trophy wife and she wanted to be a wealthy SAHM; they both got what they were looking for."
– abe_froman_king_saus
Redditors share trauma they've experienced when they were younger.
Borderline Abuse
"I agree so much!!! I've had a family member do it to a young child who cried. What an a**hole!"
– razometer
"I was a young child this happened to. My father's then-girlfriend (later wife, now ex-wife) smashed my face into my cake on my 6th birthday. All I remember was a ruined birthday cake and running out of the room, confused and crying. It's been nearly 30 years, and I still haven't forgiven her."
– squidgemobile
Negative Reaction
"My father in-law did it to his 12y.o. nephew. The nephew punched him in the face and then they tussled and had to be separated. Lol."
– 2ShredsUsay39
Unplanned Swim
"I hate cold water. A lot! As an adult, I can prepare for it, and just go against the grain, and make myself feel tough. But as a kid, it was just always unpleasant to me to be in cold water."
"A family friend, aware of this, threw me into a cold pool once. What the actual f'k? I cried, because I was like, 8. But a bunch of adults thought it was funny, so cool, right?"
– YossiTheWizard
Culture Clash
"I married into a Honduran family, love them all…seriously the greatest people I’ve ever met (minus Carlos..he’s a dick 🥹) and this is a huge thing that I’ve been fighting them on. Smash my kids face into their cake and you’ll be eating drywall. 😂 violent sure but I’m not kidding"
And you thought tying the knot was always a good thing.
No Other Option
"Forced marriages."
– AnnemarieOakley
"I have an Indian friend and his parents basically just sent his wife here from India and said you’re marrying her a couple years ago. I don’t understand it at all but I think they do it like a business deal back at home."
– jadedmonk
Explaining Arranged Vs. Forced Marriages
"It should be clarified in most cases there is a difference between 'arranged' marriages and 'forced' marriages. Arranged marriages are still quite common but the prospective couple each have the ability to say no. Essentially the parents are finding who they think is a good match but it’s not uncommon for either person to back out (especially these days). In the case of your friend his parents just suck."
– Fried_puri
How Deep Is Your Love...And Your Wallet?
"Super extravagant and expensive weddings."
– llcucf80
"I'll add in spending enough money to make a down payment on a car or home for an engagement ring as well."
– OkVolume1
Paying For Rites Of Passage
"Expensive wedding and funerals, specially with funerals, that person is already dead."
– ALI4MHR
"My brother was telling his wife and me about his wishes after he is gone. He wants to be cremated, his ashes thrown in a coffee tin, and then scattered in the mountains. He also does not want a funeral or memorial service. He just wants his friends and family to get trashed the very night of his passing."
– ShangLoongMa
I've always said this and believe to be true.
Tipping should no longer be customary.
People working in the service industry deserve higher wages, and it's not up to the customer to determine if a server at a restaurant will be making enough that week to put food on their own table.
Other countries don't have this tipping system and somehow I've managed to have excellent service.
There are no expectations and pressure imposed on both the server and patron.
While all couples promise that they will commit to one another "till death do us part," not all couples are able to fulfill these vows.
Sadly, some couples learn after committing to one another that they were not meant to be married, resulting in a divorce.
For most couples, it's a slow discovery, as they begin to learn more about one another, as well as themselves, eventually shedding light on the fact that they simply aren't compatible.
For others, they discovered that their marriage was beyond salvation after one, eye-opening moment.
"Divorced people of Reddit, when did you know it was over?
A Worrisome Sign Of Their Future
"When her grandma died."
"It was her dad's mom and a wonderful lady, who died peacefully."
"Her dad called me sobbing, saying he was a mess and needed someone to talk to."
"I told him I would come straight over and then called my wife."
"Her response?"
"He was being over dramatic and she was with her mom (his wife) and they were ignoring his texts and calls."
"WTF?!?! "
"His mom just died."
"He is sad and alone."
"Went over there and hung out for a while and realized that if I stayed married I was looking at my future self."
"FIL is a good guy and treated like a stray dog."
'They have separate bedrooms."
"She hates him."
"Has made their kids hate him."- _Stamos
All Take, No Give
"We went to counseling."
"She talked about the things she needed and wasn't getting."
"Counselor asked me if I could work on those."
"I said yes."
"This took the whole first session."
"Second session happens a week later."
"I talked about the things that I needed and wasn't getting."
"Counselor asked her if she could work on those."
"She kept avoiding and redirecting."
"On the drive home she said she wanted to find a new counselor, this one wasn't the right one."
"Went to a new counselor a few weeks later."
"First session was a repeat."
"So was the second."
"She said we should find a better counselor."
"I asked 'one that agrees with you?'"
"And she said yes."
"Then I was done."
"Yes, I'm doing much better now."
"We don't keep in touch, but I think she is too."
"I don't want to make it seem like she was terrible and I was a saint."
"We were a bad match."
"This was just the point I knew we couldn't fix it."- PatrickKieliszek
When You COULD Wait To See Them Again
"Driving home from work, coming around the corner, and feeling disappointment to see her car in the driveway."- lucky_ducker·
Filled Their Heart With Anything But Joy
"When I realized I was more at peace when he wasn't around."
"I was calmer, less anxious, and smiling more."
"Also, when I realized I would smother my smiles or hide happy news so he wouldn't have a chance to ruin whatever I was enjoying."- LurkSmurf
Not Their Only Love
"My ex thought I was working out of town."
"She had been having an affair for about three months and totally thought I didn’t know and she had me buffaloed."
"This was way back before cell phones, but she had been call forwarding our phone to her new boyfriends number so when I called her I would think I was reaching her at our apartment."
"I came home about 10:00 pm one evening and she wasn’t home, I called her boyfriend's number, and she answered the phone."
"I asked her what she was doing and she told me she just climbed into bed for the night, I asked her whose bed she climbed into."
"There was a long pause."
" I told her I knew what she was doing and where she was."
"The last thing I said to her was that I was leaving my wedding ring on the nightstand on her side of the bed."
"That was over 40 years ago."
"Been married to a wonderful woman for a very long time now, all is good."- wyoflyboy68
Just One Of Those Nights...
"It was weird."
"I was sitting on the couch, and she was in the recliner."
"I looked at her, and it was like I didn't even know her."
"I thought... I don't like you and I wouldn't even date you now."
"We just grew apart."
"I said, 'do you want to break up?'"
"She replied, 'I thought you'd never ask... yep. It's been over for awhile'."
"It was amicable, and we went our separate ways."
"No hard feelings it was just done."- TotalDomination1952
Sad On So Many Levels
"When he told me he married me to punish me for getting pregnant and he was going to spend the rest of his life making my life a hell because I stole his childhood."
"Friends, he was 24."- Puzzleheaded-War-113
Manipulative Games
"When she filed for divorce, but didn't actually want a divorce."
"That's when I realized I couldn't put up with any more of her sh*t."
"If she was willing to file for divorce (and thought I was going to pay for it all), I knew it had gone way too far."
"I spent the next two years trying to finalize that divorce with her trying to stay married."- Azzizzi
A Literal Sign
"Left work to drive home."
"Hour commute."
"Passed an apartment complex with a vacancy sign."
"Started thinking seriously about why I was driving home."- ReallyFineWhine
Love can be very confusing and misleading.
Sometimes, we think we're in love and discover much too late that we were wrong.
Other times, even if love was genuine, it wasn't enough to fix something which couldn't be unbroken.