Getting rejected can hurt, but it's the sort of thing that happens to everyone and you're going to have a much better time in life if you have a sense of humor about it.
One reddit user asked:
Guys, what made you realize, "this girl is definitely not into me"?
and honestly a lot of the responses had people cracking up. There aren't a lot of signals any clearer than faking amnesia or an official "wristband of friendship."
So kick back and have a read and a cringe. And please, if you'e got a hilarious rejection story share it. I mean, I once had a dude move all the way to the other side of the country rather than just tell me he was done. My friends still laugh about how ridiculous that was, but that's a story probably best saved for a whole other article...
Camping And Consequences
We flirted for several weeks, hung out every day, I kept feeling a closer and closer connection but due to circumstances I could not control we were never alone enough together for me to test it. Had some friends plan a camping trip and I invited her and she said yes. I even specifically told her there's gonna be two couples there so we're gonna be in a tent just the two of us, she said yeah she knows.
Get to the trip, we have a few drinks and I ask her if she wants to take a walk with me to look at stars (I get it, it's corny, shut up.) Once we're a little away from everyone I tell her how much I like her and attempt to go in for a kiss.
NOPE: "Sorry...I'm not what you're looking for"
That shattered me; utterly gutted.
We ended up going to a different area that weekend, met another group and I ended up meeting a girl who actually was into me - which made the first girl act wildly jealous and leave.
An Ego 180
I was with 2 guy friends at our mall one time (years ago in jr. High). A small group of girls started following us. So we stopped and waited to see what they would do. Eventually 1 comes over and says that her and her friends think we're cute and can they have our numbers. I remember feeling pretty bad@ss just then - I didn't realize yet that I wasn't included lol.
So one buddy says he has a girlfriend (he did), girl looks at buddy #2 and he gives her his number. She says ok thanks and leaves. Didn't even look at me. Ego did a 180 that day. Lol
- TenGHz
Death
I told em I had feelings for them they responded with
"I'm dying"
They followed it up with a joke about corona and pretended like I never said anything. Which to be honest hurts more than proper rejection, at least acknowledge it.
If It Aint Broke, Don't Fix It
Gave a girl at work my number on a piece of paper and she handed it right back and said "We talk at work all the time so let's keep doing that"
Savage!
At least she was clear about it though...
That sucks, but gotta give it to her, she ripped off the band-aid fast, no ambiguity in that rejection.
One Sided
Stopped texting first and realized that she never texted me for three days. It was totally one sided.
An actual girlfriend ran this experiment and found that I didn't text her for a week... some people are just sh*t (ie. me). My bf status didn't survive this experiment, but I learned from it.
I was 18, fun loving and carefree, and I've always had a poor grasp of passing time... I had no idea. We lived a 30min drive for her/60min bus for me apart, so it wasn't unusual to go a week without seeing each other. She suspected that she was the one driving the text conversations, and apparently she was absolutely correct.
I was soooo into this girl, and it sucks that I made her think otherwise. I'm 35 now, and we're still friends. I'm very happily married, in no small part due to some post-break up coaching from the first girl on how to be a better human.
"Oh..."
My roommate encouraged me to ask this girl out. He said she really liked me.
So I ask her out and set a dinner date. I pick her up and at dinner, she barely responds to me. I ask questions about her major, her family, etc and all I get back are short answers and no follow up. I'm frustrated and she's unhappy and I guess we both look miserable when the waitress tells us that we need to perk up and be happy!
She then asks how long we've been dating. Her face falls when I tell her this is the first date she goes "Oh..." and walks away and doesn't really talk to us again.
After dinner, we were supposed to go to a friend's house who was having a party but I look at her in the car and say "Look, obviously neither one of us had a good time. Instead of going to the party why don't I take you back to your dorm?" She said yeah and that was it.
The waitress really did put her foot in her mouth but it was good for me to hear that "Yes, yes this is a horrible date and it's obvious to other people too. Time to cut your loses and go home."
I went back to my roommate FURIOUS and asked him why he thought she had a crush on me. He said he thought she would catch a crush on me once she got to know me, making me realize he hadn't even talked to her.
Yeah, well she didn't.
The Wristband
She gave me a thin paper wristband she has made which said "the wristband of friendship". Like literally printed on it.
This is the best one by far. Sorry but also thank you. I might have not even been upset 'cause it's just so funny.
- HobKing
I feel like if it got that far for you to realize she wasn't into you then you probably deserve the blunt message at least a little bit since whatever else she tried obviously wasn't working.
Lock Screen
Oh snap. So, last fall I went to class and ran into this really cute girl and I thought "hey, I'm gonna try to talk to her more" and over the next 2 weeks I found 0 openings until we were told to get into groups for a project. Small class, but I wasn't in her group so I asked her if it was cool if I joined her group because they seemed more serious than my other group. (Bunch of losers)
She said yes. So it was me, her best friend and another girl I'd talked to for a bit. We agreed to meet up on Friday at the library. We talked a bit more before then and became friends. She's really touchy so she'd grab my arm, lean on me etc. I thought she was into me. I show up early and she was there alone so we began to talk and she's sooo much like me. Has a weird sense of humor, very smart, and super friendly. She even liked Dragonball. That's the dream!
Then the other two girls arrive and I see her phone and her lock screen is of her best friend. The other girl comments "Aww, your best friends your lock screen?" And she says "nope, my girlfriends my lock screen"
So that really made me realize she totally wasn't interested in me at all.
Funny thing is, we all are still really good friends. We've tried to take classes together and she's helped me out when I had trouble. I accidentally ruined her surprise birthday party, we hung out while we could, she'd buy us lunch, invite us to her place and we really have a good time together. Those 3 girls are the best friends I've made in university.
It's kinda sad but before I went like 6 months without anyone in college saying my name or even talking to me. They weren't mean. They were just not my friends. But I met these girls and I have a friend network, I have a constant study group and she's even helping me lose weight because I couldn't do it on my own.
She wasn't into me but I honestly couldn't care less. I'm way happier now than I was before I met her.
Amnesia
I have to tell this because it's hilarious and I know for a fact it's true because I witnessed it.
A girl I know was dating a guy who turned out to be married. The wife found out but stayed with the husband. So the guy gets in a car accident and the side chick girl calls to see if he's ok.
The dude tells her he has amnesia and doesn't remember her and he's with his wife now. Homeboy done said he got amnesia to get rid of the side chick!
Bathroom Breaks
I was in a club and wanted to go to the bathroom. He kept pulling me back into his lap. I tried to explain and he wouldn't listen. So I peed in his lap
- gigila
A Slip
When I accidentally let a fart slip as we got out of the car to her crib and then suddenly had to sleep in the guest room.
Let Me Stop You Right There
Female colleague at the beer garden: "Awww, cute. But let me stop you right there. You are more like a cute little brother."
She was 28-29, I was 21-22. It didn't hurt as much as I thought/excepted. Still in contact with her.
Thanks Dad
Kinda sorta on topic, but 180 degrees different:
I once lived with this very beautiful woman, and my dad, who hadn't visited much, suddenly started visiting me once a month (flying his plane to the local airport). I thought, great...it's good to get to hang out more. When that relationship ended, suddenly and immediately dad stopped flying there to see me. So...yeah, I found out my dad definitely wasn't into me, just my girlfriend.
- Kurt300
Aging Well
Not a girl, cos gay etc. But heard this guy I worked with had a crush on me, which was awesome cos I always liked him but didn't think I had a chance as I was about 8 years older.
We went on a few dates and got on really well, looked like it was going somewhere until I dropped my age into a conversation and saw the horrified look on his face. Turns out his roommate told him I was MUCH younger than I actually was and from that point on it was pretty clear it was going nowhere.
On the plus side, found out I still look young af 👍
Almost
I asked a girl out to see a movie and she turned up with a female friend. I only had two tickets, and this was a very nice movie theatre so the seats were allocated . I bought another one, but it was now late, so the seat was at the back...and yes, that's the one I sat in.
She called me later and said 'they had tried to find me..' but from my crows nest seat I had seen them leave. They had quickly walked straight to the exit, not even looking back.
I can't see 'Almost Famous' without feeling that same disappointment.
Eye-Snapping Karma
I had never been dumped, I was always the one to end it. So the first time it happened I didn't even realize it.
It was only while clearing an email inbox, running across an old message from someone I had left, recognizing the language—someone else had been saying all the same things to me that I had been saying to this other girl.
...Oh—I am being ghosted! And I'm acting like one of those clingy "psycho" girls I used to date...
...Oh—being ghosted sucks. Those girls were not psycho, I am just a terrible person...
Opened my eyes. Hard. Not just snapping to the fact that the girl I loved did not want to be with me (ouch)
But also that I had done the same thing to so many girls without even realizing (yikes)
So not just hurt, shock, embarrassment but also shame on top; a real seven-layer burrito of trash.
In the long run it made me a better person. When it came time to end things in later relationships, from either direction, I handled it better.
...too bad I didn't realize it before I spiraled and burnt a bunch more bridges... sigh
Fell Flat
After taking her out to dinner, having a great time, making out with her and slowly our clothes came off and... she was super super dry.
I noticed she had an odd expression on her face. Like you lost a loved one or had your heart broken -and then I realized everything like the end of a SAW movie:
She didn't really get over her ex-fiance who died of cancer a year before.
I knew her for 10 years and I always had a crush on her too! Out of circumstance we just both were always seeing someone else. We were never single at the same time.
I just hated how it fell so flat lol. UGH.
Initiation
Actually initiated the hug for once and she tensed up, recoiled and let out a little yelp. I think about that girl all the time. She was the perfect height for me to rest my chin on her head when I hugged her. I wish I was less awkward back then.
Addition By Subtraction
When my 60 year old female neighbor and close "friend "of 5 years told me not to come near her after I got the flu shot, but wanted to hang out during the Covid-19 quarantine. She then went after another man.
Addition by subtraction. There were many other quirks like ADD, germophobia, possible bipolar and others - but that was the last straw. Too much baggage for an attractive woman that age which; explains why she was never married.
- mdjake
A Crumb Of A Hint
Uhhh once me and a guy i was friends with kept matching on dating apps, and we would be playful and I would ask him to hang out and he would say he's down. Once I ran into him at a bar and sat with him awhile and he looked at me deeply and said, "You know, I think about you a lot."
And idk he was drunk so I didnt want to make a move when he wasnt sober, but I told him the same and we flirted a little. Then on Instagram i got bold once and called him attractive and flirted, and all he did was "like" the message, so I just stopped. If I cant tell if they return an interest, and if they're not making any obvious indications, why would I even want them?
Part of dating is wanting to feel wanted. I genuinely really liked him for a few years, even before the dating apps. But if someone wants you, you shouldn't feel confused about it. You should have more than a crumb of a hint.
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Have you ever heard of a certain job that people call a career and thought... "PEOPLE PAY YOU FOR THAT?!?!"
All hard, honest work is good work.
And then there is just trash work.
And I don't mean garbage collection, that is honest work.
I don't know how some people live with themselves.
Redditor MrTuxedo1 wanted to discuss the careers they don't believe people should chase. They asked:
"What job do you have no respect for?"
Ticket scalpers. How do you the audacity to say that's a job?
Actual burglars have more empathy.
Disrespectful
"There are debt collectors who call relatives of the deceased to pay off their debts when they are not legally obligated to."
Top_Gun_2021
Shady. Shady.
"Australian Real Estate Agents. Laws don't seem to apply to them. Just as dodgy in sales and rentals alike. Never seen anything like it overseas."
snave_
"I'm in the US, it can vary state by state but my state is pretty strict on realtor laws. Some states require attorney review and there are definitely penalties for being reported for shady sh*t. It does require consumer reporting though."
ilostmytaco
Etransfer
"Where I live, tax info was leaked and now scammers are targeting low income individuals/families (people earning under 30,000 per year) with etransfer scams. I got one the other day that was an etransfer warning that 240$ 'a family member sent me' was about to expire."
SnowyInuk
"That’s disgusting. The scammers know what they’re doing, they know the harm they cause people and yet they don’t care."
surelysandwitch
Should be illegal...
"MLM managers. Not the low level idiots that get suckered into it, they suck too for trying to bring new people into that sh*tshow, but the people who create them know exactly what they are doing and are pretty much the only ones who profit off of it. Should be illegal. Pyramid schemes are illegal. None of them ever get the just desserts except occasionally by vigilantes I assume."
Wereno
I hate debt collectors. Yeah, you calling me one hundred times a week is going to miraculously make money appear.
Animals
"Paparazzi."
VictorBlimpmuscle
"I met Jack Gleeson (King Joffrey from Game of Thrones) at a bus stop in Dublin. Really nice guy but he said he quit acting due to people being nasty online and constant hounding from paparrazi. He's happier now but it sucks that he was pushed away from a career he was quite good at."
goobi94
Scumbags
"The pastors at mega churches whom ask their followers for money for private jets. Absolute scum to abuse others faith for your own greed."
ichancho
"Brian Tamaki is a greedy freaking pig, he takes advantage of so many people who are already struggling. Every time he’s in the local news (which btw is often) I get more and more pissed off at him and his wife. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brian_Tamaki "
surelysandwitch
it’s a thing???
“'Dating Expert.' Sadly it’s a thing. It’s basically a self appointed title that requires no training or qualifications. What’s worse, is that I have a female friend who uses one. It’s very much a blind leading the blind situation."
Mean_Manufacturer_61
"Most of the self proclaimed “dating coaches” I know are women in their late 30s or early 40s who have never been married or had a longer relationship."
ipozgaj
EVIL
"Poachers. Especially big game poachers who purposefully hunt nearly extinct animals from species they know they are on the brink."
"I know there are poachers that come from rural villages who are trying to just put food on the table, which has my sympathy but poachers who come from money and hunt down animals minding their business in most shelters or restricted areas just to put a head on their wall as a trophy are absolutely heinous."
GetterdoneObiwan
I See It All
"Psychic Mediums. Specifically those who prey on the grieving."
JamesDeadite
"I've always found it interesting how many magicians go after people like this. I think it's because they know what it takes to trick people for the art. The slight of hand and mentalism. And they abhor people who use these tactics for such sh*tty purposes."
34HoldOn
I want so bad to believe in psychics and mediums. What say we on that topic?
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The nose is constantly being attacked by odors of the world.
Going through one day without having to hold my breath during a certain point, is a miracle.
Of course, I'm a New Yorker, so I maybe exaggerating for people in the countryside.
What's funnier is odors that are pleasant, that shouldn't be.
Have you ever looked and something and thought... "yuck."
But then you smelled it and it was like... "oh lovely,"
Redditor HappQueue wanted to know what aromas are arousing to the senses that may come as a surprise to many. They asked:
"What smells good but shouldn't?"
For some odd reason I love the things burning. Anything, food, pots, pans. You name it. Weird.
Blow
"Matches/candles on a birthday cake. I remember lighting matches as a kid purely to blow them out and inhale that sweet match-y smell."
semispooked
"guilty good"
"I work at a Chemical plant. We make a highly acidic product that is dark blue, viscus, highly corrosive, and smells exactly like Fruit Loops. It is incredibly disturbing."
Turin082
"Organic chemistry has many 'guilty good' smells. Thiophosgene (sulfur derivative of a chemical weapon used extensively in WW1) apparently smells like meat. Phosgene is used to make polycarbonate, thiophosgene is used to make some sulfur-containing molecules which eventually end up in therapeutic drugs."
HammerTh_1701
I can't huff it...
"Paint, specifically house paint. I love the smell. But anytime I hear that anyone is painting a room or their house, I volunteer. I just love sitting on the floor in a room that's been freshly painted, closing my eyes and just inhaling that slightly chemically, slightly creamy aroma."
Neowza
A Hint of French...
"A fish and chips shop burnt down as couple blocks from work a few years ago. The whole neighborhood smelled amazing for days. Just the slight hint of French fries. Nothing overpowering. It was so awesome. Until I found out someone was trapped in the fire and died."
stevey_frac
Drag
"Race fuel. Instantly puts me in a good mood as it reminds me of going to the drag races with my dad when I was young."
garfnodie
Fuel and matches get me too. And they sort of go together. Interesting.
Just like the Movie...
"The water from the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Mmm, bromine."
Stalkerslovemy
"This is one of my favorite scents of all time, and Disney is very aware that people enjoy it. Evidently it’s a lot harder to recreate than just adding bromine to water."
cash4panties
"black widow".
"There's a chicken wing restaurant near my house that has a challenge sauce called "black widow." The owner claims it to be around 500,000 scovilles. A few years back some buddies and I decided to try them, the sauce was a dark molasses color and smelled almost like a BBQ sauce, no hint of the danger that lurked at all. We each grabbed one wing and it went terribly. I don't know how something so spicy could smell so innocent."
Final-Chapter
Endless Weekend
"Hotel/rented rooms whenever you go on vacation. There's this particular smell that just says 'you are on vacation,' especially on a beach/swimming trips/out-of-the-town vacays."
Yummy_Llama
"Bath and Body Works has a plug-in scent called Endless Weekend that replicates that scent (to my humble nose)."
Exxcentrica
"oh no..."
"Someone you are attracted to's body odors. Anyone else who is slightly unhygienic smells repulsive."
Mini_gunslinger
"I remember back in high school a girl leaned over, sniffed me, told me that I smelled really good, and asked me what cologne I was wearing. I asked if she was joking, and she's like, no, you smell really good. When I told her I had just gotten done with gym class, she gets a small 'oh no...' look on her face and turns away. I think we both had a revelation that day."
user deleted
That Smell
"The smell inflatable things give off. I have no idea how to describe it, but it’s… nostalgic? to me."
crestfxllen
I do love the smell of plastics and inflatables. Ahh....
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At one point in time, we've misplaced things that we've considered priceless possessions.
It's hard to imagine how to go on without the lost object–whatever it may be–but over time, it becomes a distant memory and we move on.
That is until we magically find ourselves presented with this opportunity proposed by Redditor mikehotel288, who asked:
"You find yourself in a room with everything you’ve ever lost in your life. What do you look for first?"
There are necessities people cannot do without.
No More Dry Lips Ever Again
"Gonna be a lot of chapstick in that room."
– camefromxbox
There are things that bring us comfort and are irreplaceable.
Safety Blanket
"My baby blanket. It became tattered over the years—to the point where I couldn’t reasonably wash it anymore—so I had to throw it away a little while back."
"I have heavily regretted that decision. I was really attached to it (hence it being in tatters), but I really wish that I kept what was left of it instead of throwing it away. Just knowing that I’d still have it would be a huge comfort to me."
– Uearie
Sentimental Heirloom
"The pendant my dad had made for me with my grandmother’s engagement diamond. It was 2 carats. It disappeared from a Las Vegas hotel room 20 years ago. It was hidden deep in a suitcase where it would not have been easy to find. It was just GONE. Cops didn’t do anything. Didn’t even come to take my statement. Cleaning lady said she thought she saw an elderly man enter my room. The guy I was with was not sympathetic in the least. Entire situation was f**ked. I’m still so upset about it."
– MaritimeDisaster
Lone Shark
"My plastic shark toy I lost when I was 10. Ain't no f'king way it just VANISHED."
– Guilty_As_Charged__
Not everything lost is tangible.
Tick Tock
"The time I wasted."
– shinyfennec
It Holds Value
"My private key with 6 BTC in it."
– Significant_Mirror19
"I didn't lose one, but I'll check my room for yours just in case."
– Smodphan
Finding Purpose
"The reason I walked into the room."
– Lloyd_lyle
Lost Opportunity
"That one girl i spoke to on omegle lol"
– h-amishh
If only we get to reunite with those we've lost.
The Loved Family Member
"My grandpa."
– Splatty_boi_420
Grieving Parent
"My daughter. She’ll be in my brother’s arms. So I’ll find both things I care to look for."
– SeeTheFence
Missing Mom
"My mom. She died of cancer in 2017. She never got to meet my daughter. I miss the hell out of her and wish she was still part of my family’s life."
– X-Arkturis-X
The Animals That Come Into Our Lives
"My pets that have passed: especially my horse, Blue. It's been 4 years, but it feels like just yesterday."
– Baciandrio
While many of these scenarios are unlikely, the thread gave people an opportunity to reflect on the things that made a strong impression on their lives.
Sometimes, the memories of the things we've lost–whether they are random objects or sources of love–is all we have.
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What's worse than returning home from a night out or a workday and discovering your home was broken into? Being home when the break-in happens.
Home invasions are a common trope portrayed in horror films like The Strangers and Funny Games, and they're absolutely terrifying because they are based on real-life incidents.
Redditor silentagent47 asked strangers to consider this horrifying hypothetical.
"You have 5 minutes to prepare before a guy breaks into your house with the intention to kill you. You can not exit your house. What is your strategy to survive?"
The hunter becomes the hunted, inspired by TV and movies.
Duplicating A Scene
"There was an episode of Burn Notice where Michael puts aerosol cans in the microwave with kitchen utensils and hits popcorn button. I really want to know if this works or not."
– JohnSterlingSanchez
Epic Burglar Trap
"Speed-watch Home Alone."
– pluribusduim
It's about the choice of weapon.
Jump Scare
"I get the vacuum cleaner ready in a certain room, I turn it on as hes about to enter to create a distraction, then I jump out when he's inspecting the noise and bonk the f'ker on the head with the piece of 2 inch steel tube I keep as a weapon."
– BustedBastard
Beware of Dog
"Unleash the Hounds"
– myassonreddit
Make A Weapon
"Duct tape a bunch of knives to the end of one of those tall lamps to make a spear of blinding and then proceed to go sicko mode."
– DubTheeBustocles
Preparing For A Thwack
"Turn shower on, for some reason I have a shovel behind my wardrobe?? So grab that. Wait for him to check shower, whack with shovel. Boom."
– hypersp00p
It's Just A Game
"Corner camp with a shotgun."
– Arrow3619
A Warm Welcome
"Hairspray and a lighter to his face."
– WorkingClassSheep
The effectiveness of these tactics are questionable, but points for creativity are warranted.
Stand Still
"Put a lamp shade on my head and stand in the corner of the room."
– Cannabis_Sir
Make It Erotic
"I turn on all the lights, take off all my clothes, rub butter all over myself, and start a fake conversation on the phone. As soon as he breaks in I say into the phone: 'I’ve gotta go, my next appointment is finally here…”
– FrankieTheAlchemist
Forget The Stairs
"Go to the LIVING ROOM."
– on-oath-never-again
Removing The Element Of Fun
"Draw an X on my forehead and grab a beer."
– Candycoatedmuffin3
And that's why I would opt for living in a commune or apartment complex.
People who own houses are just asking for forced entry.
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