The definitions of "manliness" have certainly changed overtime. While in previous years it might have been used for superficial reasons, like what kind of car you drive, what the shape of your beard was, and how many eagles you tamed, lately it can be narrowed down to things that actually matter.
What kind of husband are you? Do you take care of your friends and family? Do you stand up for what's right? What level are your knitting skills? Still, it can itch the back of some men's spines when they think they're doing something that might be perceived as "unmanly" in general society's eyes.
Reddit user, u/papilloncool18, wanted to hear men open up when they asked:
Men, What "Unmanly" activity do you proudly participate in?
Interior Design Is A Real-World Tetris Game
GiphyI spend a ridiculous amount of time looking up furniture/wall art/etc. just fantasizing about how I'm going to decorate it when I finally get my own place.
Looking Fine Online
Fashion.
Even in video games, I spend hours customizing my character's clothes.
I would be lying if I said I don't like looking good both IRL and in video games.
Need To Watch Them Toes
Pedicures. I take my wife to get a manicure/pedicure and for an extra $30 I get a foot soak with massage, nails trimmed and the cracked callouses ground down to manageable. I spend 100% of my free time in Hiking boots or flip flops, gnarly heels being the result.
No shame in my game. Take care of your feet lads!
Showing The Next Generation How It's Done
Sometimes my daughters get new nail polish and they want to see how it looks on an actual nail before committing it to their own. That's when they come to me asking if they can use me as their test pallet. It's not uncommon for me to go around the house with glittery purple, green, pink etc, nails.
Walking around with painted nails: = Most unmanly thing for me.
Showing my daughters how a man should treat and take care of the women in his life = The most manly thing I could ever do.
Few Things In This Life
Playing and doing "girly" things with my daughter. She's 4 and I want to be interactive and engaged with her. Sometimes that means playing "tea party" or painting OUR nails. As in both of us. No problem 😊
That's not being "unmanly" that being an epic father.
Props to that guy, Being an epic father is the most bad-ss, awesome, greatest dad, kick -ss, best thing for her.
Few things in this world are more Manly than being an awesome dad.
Hugging my kids, apologizing to them when I'm wrong ("sorry I accused you of making a mess outside, I just learned it was the neighbors' kid"), and showing them it's okay to have and express feelings. Yes, daddy can get teary eyed too when watching a sad movie.
Also as an extension of apologizing for having done wrong, being able to back down.
When in an argument and find out you're wrong, it's not weak to say "I didn't know that. Sorry, I was wrong.".
Learning from those experiences has much more worth than doubling down to protect your own ego.
And Usually Low Calorie
Drinking girly drinks.
They're delicious.
I have a friend who's into weightlifting, massive beard, tattoos and generally pretty manly looking. His drink of choice is Amaretto and cranberry juice. I usually like a Guinness or a whiskey. Whenever we've gone to a bar and ordered drinks, the barman/maid has always thought the cranberry one is for me. Admittedly it's fairly tasty.
Moisturize Me...
I moisturise. My skin is very dry and gets itchy. I scratch, make it sore, which then makes it itchy, so I scratch....Moisturising stops this cycle.
I've been doing it since I was 18. I'm now mid thirties and always get mistaken for the youngest of my friends... while I'm the oldest by a quite a margin. Nothing wrong with taking care of yourself. We're not cavemen.
And Also, Less Splash Damage
P-ssing while sitting.
I've never understood men's aversion to sitting down. Maybe I'm just lazy, but sitting down at home while checking stuff on the phone is always nice and relaxing. Like a mini two minute break. What's girly about that!
Gardening. It's great being able to grow things from just seeds.
Never understood this. Gardening is basically small scale multispecies plant farming.
Most farmers are manly men.
I never understood the femine thought applied to gardening.
Should be genderless clearly as everyone should want to grow everything.
I think maybe it has to do with scale just like in other professions. Farming, professor, doctor: masculine. Gardening, teacher, nurse: feminine.
I disagree with this mindset, of course, as gender should not be assigned to roles that a person is capable of performing but this might help a bit with insight on it.
"A Whole New Pup! A Shining Dog I Never Knew!"
GiphyI sing personal remixes of popular songs to my pets where I replace words in the song with their name. A lot of the time they're Disney songs.
Bruh, the way I treat my dog, you'd think I was a 3rd grade girl who got her first puppy for Christmas.
"But We're Watching Batman Movies, So It's Totally Manly, Bruh."
Knitting. It's pretty fun! I made half a sock yesterday.
So way back 23 years ago I go over to my buddy's place. We were 16ish. Rainy sh-tty day. His mom and him are watching movies and knitting scarves. F-ck it. Show me how.
So now we're sitting there and another buddy shows up. We're watching batman movies. F-ck it. Now there's 4 of us knitting.
His mom goes to work. Another friend shows up. F-ck it. He's knitting and making a scarf now too while watching movies.
So batman marathon is now over and some generic hallmark movie is on. We're to lazy to get up and change the channel (who the hell leaves the remote on the tv). We're knitting.
Bud's younger brother came home with his gf. Looks at us 4 16yr old dudes knitting scarves watching a romance on a rainy saturday afternoon.
Looks at his gf. GF looks at him. "For f-ck sakes"
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk him about it.
Redditor Isingsongstomycats wanted to hear about what can completely make us regret speaking to another person, so they asked:
"What instantly ruins a conversation for you?"
I'm ornery. Anything and everything can turn me off.
Blocked
honey boo boo phone GIF by RealityTVGIFsGiphy"Getting their phone out for no reason mid conversation."
Expensive_Pie_6943
"Sometimes I want to look up something pertinent to the conversation but I don't want to interrupt them to say that. Now when someone checks their notification mid conversation, that really burns me."
cutelyaware
Up & Up
"When someone feels the need to one up you on everything you say."
Apprehensive_Gap_368
"Had a coworker like this once, his one upping was so bad we would test it. Best one was a guy talking about catching a shark on a pole at the beach. He interrupted with the time he swam out a mile and got attacked by a shark and beat it and swam back with it."
Mess_Bubbly
Rude
"When they start saying nasty things about people they barely know."
WeirdShyKitten
"I have family like this. I once heard them go on on this rant about how the new waitress at their local coffee shop is fat and ugly. They made a thousands assumptions about this woman that included criticism to her service."
18062022
"Or start sh*t talking someone the second they leave the room. My dad's sisters do that, I was stuck in my parents house alone with them and I would get so paranoid every time I left the room. If they do that to each other, I can’t image the crap they talk about me."
vicki_chicki
War of Words
"When they ask for your opinion or talking about something fully subjective and then tell you how you are objectively wrong or get offended by you nor agreeing."
Prize_Interaction931
"Similar, but not quite the same: my old roommate would correct me on things that were objective, and not like facts."
"Like I mentioned it was hard for my folks to get a mortgage because they were self employed and he correct me that it wasn't. He wouldn't believe the story i was telling and told me what he thought might have happened with no knowledge on the subject."
"Needless to say I moved out."
SFXBTPD
Blah Blah
Bored Chris Rock GIF by BounceGiphy"When it feels like you're engaging a combination lock just to get responses to simple innocent pieces of a conversation. People who small talk you to death."
I swear small talk people should be arrested for attempted murder.
Useless
Golden Girls Rose GIF by TV LandGiphy"When someone drags a story out with useless details. Like something that happened on the drive to work but they start the story at the point when they first woke up and what they had for breakfast. Just get to the point!"
ticklemebits
Paused
"When they interrupt me mid sentence."
HelpMeSweetJesus
"If it sometimes happens on accident whenever they think of something and get over-excited it’s whatevs. Now when they constantly step over you it’s like your opinion merely feels like filler at best and they ain’t even listening. Not even worth the energy to continue at that point."
BAKED_TATER_
"One of my coworkers only listens long enough to figure out what she's going to say next, and then she interrupts. I guess we're only there to feed her lines."
Witty_Commentator
Do Better
"When someone gives you completely useless advice you didn't ask for. A couple weeks ago I mentioned to a coworker that I was glad to be going home because I didn't get more than a couple hours of sleep."
"Dude first of all had the audacity to say 'Well, you need to do better.' When I said I have medication resistant insomnia he looks at me like I'm an idiot and asks if I've tried melatonin."
errant_night
Duh
"Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are stupider than that. And it doesn’t take you very long to spot one of them, does it. Take you about eight seconds. You’ll be listening to some guy, and say, this guy is f**king stupid. Then, then there are some people, they’re not stupid. They’re full of crap."
"Huh, that doesn’t take very long to spot, either, does it. Take you about the same amount of time. You’ll be listening to some guy, saying, well, he’s fairly intelligent. Ah, he’s full of s**t. Then there are some people, they’re not stupid, they’re not full of s**t, they’re freaking nuts."
teaching-man
Gross...
Disgusted Emma Stone GIFGiphy"Sexualization. We're talking about a new video game and suddenly I get asked if I play naked, or if I'm turned on by a game mechanic or some such nonsense. Yuck."
GreenAppleLady
Good conversation is hard to keep these days.
Do you have any conversational red flags to add? Let us know in the comments below.
