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Grown Children Share The Craziest Things They've Ever Seen Their Mother Do

Grown Children Share The Craziest Things They've Ever Seen Their Mother Do

Grown Children Share The Craziest Things They've Ever Seen Their Mother Do

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Just a little. Right? But what was the turning point for you? Some people have seen the stuff their mom does at home, and some people have seen the stuff she did in public. But which terrified them more?

u/purplewhitewine asked Reddit:

What is the craziest thing you have ever seen your mother do?

Here were some of the answers.

Turn On A Dime

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I've never heard my mother use any profanity in my entire life, not as a child, or an adult. We had a retirement party for her, and a lot of co-workers showed up. She was her usual pleasant self, and at the end of the night, she got up from the table, called her boss a "f***ing worthless piece of s***" and left the restaurant.

Was It Worth It?

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We were driving down the road once when I was younger. My mom suddenly pulls into a random driveway and jumps out of the car and starts walking down the street the way we came. She bent down to pick something up. She comes back to the car with a coin in her hand and says 'I knew I saw a quarter on the sidewalk.'

Yea Mom!

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One night after kayaking with my parents, we got home really late so we decided to leave the kayak strapped to the top of the Tahoe. In the middle of the night my dad creeps in my room and peaks out my window. I wake up and he hushes me. My mom comes in and goes "Come on." They head downstairs and I hear my dad pick up the phone and start talking to the police. I suddenly hear the front door slam open and my mom scream "DROP THAT F***ING KAYAK." The woman is outside pointing a butcher knife at 3 thieves (who also have knives) cutting the kayak down. I then hear my dad say to the police: "hold on a second" followed by "SANDY WHAT THE HELL!" The robbers ran off and my mom remains the baddest bad*** in the world.

Animal Cruelty

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My mom once got out of the car at a stop light to walk up to the driver's side window of the truck in front of us so she could scream bloody murder at him until the light turned green for intentionally swerving to run over a box turtle along the side of the road.

No Communication

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One time because I didn't tell my mom what was making me upset, she literally hulked out and ripped her shirt off.

I still didn't tell her what was wrong, but there was now an additional problem of seeing the angriest half naked woman in existence.

Mom, The Guardian

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I was having a fire in the back yard w a friend. Early in the night I saw a shadow of someone in a yard over, told my friend. He said nah, I don't see anything. Yes. There's a man there. A couple hours later I see the same man, only this time from another neighbor's yard. Friend gets to take a look and scares the guy off. We decide to call it a night.

Our dogs (who had been inside) bark when they hear the side gate as I let me friend out. Mom wakes up, askes what's happening. I tell her about the creeper. She grabs a flashlight, hands me the phone and says "call 911 if you hear anything wrong!"

Armed with just a flashlight, her wife beater and undies she was sleeping in, she runs outside to look for the creep!

Turned out to be my ex bf stalking me. Cops were called. But I will always remember her running out there with nothing but a flashlight and a mom's courage, and thinking "she crazy."

Slipper Discipline

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My brother was misbehaving so my mom wanted to hit him with the slipper. I was in the bathroom pooping so when I came out I was surprised no one was home. I looked out the window and saw my brother running across an empty field and my mom chasing him with the slipper in hand. Funniest sight I ever saw.

Reverse Role Model

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She used to be the kind of person who would yell at retail and fast food employees. One time she freaked out at a blockbuster employee because she accidentally gave me the wrong game. I always checked to make sure we got the right one before we got home, so it really wasn't a big deal. Later when she was telling my dad what happened she lied and acted like she was the victim. Very uncool. I was only 10 and even I knew better than to act like that.

Not On Mothers Day

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Mother's Day 11 years ago my very petite mother decided to take my brother and I to Ross (local clothing store in a strip mall). We are pulling in and I guess she stayed at the stop sign a half a second too long so the guy behind us lays on his horn and starts flipping her off. She responds by driving at a turtles pace to make sure he was even more irritated until we actually pulled off to park.

Instead of moving along and just being angry the man decided to follow us into the parking spot and pull up so fast to my mom's door he almost hit it when she got out and started screaming in her face. Instead of being afraid she went full psycho mode pushed him backward and kicked 4 perfectly size 6 boot size dents into the side of his car while screaming some of the craziest stuff I've ever heard.

After he fumbles his phone out to call the police we peel out and head home. I did not get to go to Ross.

Next Level Cat Lady

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My mum puts all of the bowls of catfood in the oven in winter so they don't have to eat cold food. We have nine cats.

This Ain't The 80s

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She pops her shirt collar every day. Every. Day.

Mistakes

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Oh, my mother. Love her to bits but she definitely has shaped her own category of how to be a parent.

First off, she works and has worked 60-70 hours a week my entire life. She loves her job, and that's why she's there so much. Wasn't really around the house, but when she was she was drinking Coke by the can and watching Forensic Files. Stopped using a babysitter for my younger brother and I when I turned 8. Set no house rules or curfews. Said, "Rules don't make men, mistakes do." Then sips her soda and watches her show lol

Scary Cousin

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We took a cousin of mine in while his parents (my mom's brother and his wife) divorced. He took all his s*** out on me.

My mom put us on a scale; he weighed 30 pounds more than me. She told us I could use anything up to 30 pounds to defend myself.

A baseball bat doesn't weight anywhere near 30 pounds.

Yum?

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Probably sending back her food at Red Robin because it was served in a plastic basket. She said "I don't want to eat out of a basket like a prisoner." When they brought her her food on a plate she was incensed that it was the same food. She wanted them to make her a fresh burger because the first one was served in a basket.

Could have also been the time she (successfully, somehow) returned a jar of mayonnaise WE HAD EATEN OUT OF FOR A WEEK because she found it cheaper somewhere else.

Biscuit Drama

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When I was around 14, she went on a blind rampage calling us (myself and 2 brothers, ages 13 and 11) lying little sh-ts, that no one would ever trust us and we'd get nowhere in life, that she hates living with us and she wishes she could pack up and leave like our father did (he left to escape her, and is still very much involved in our lives).

Why? Someone ate the last biscuit in the packet and no one would own up to it.

Monkey See Monkey Duel

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A monkey entered my house through the back door and went straight into the kitchen. It started breaking things and throwing stuff around. My mom tried to shoo it away but it wouldnt budge. So she took a stick to save herself incase it attacks and started shouting at it. The monkey started making these sounds trying to scare her. This went on for about 10 minutes. I guess the monkey got tired and it left but ill never forgot the sight of my mom who is usually kinda calm trying to duel with the monkey.

World War Poo

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When i was like 12 years old, my family made a trip to croatia and we wanted to cross through serbia. after like 5h of driving with the car, i really had to poop out in the middle of nowhere. but because of possible land mines still around after the war, my mum told me to stay at the car, while she makes a safe path to a place i can take a s***. it took me 5 years to realize, that she had put herself in the serious danger of getting killed by a landmine, just because i had to empty my bowels.

Corneation

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Not evil crazy, but stupid crazy.

My mum can't drive for s***. She has:

  • Driven down a flight of stairs because she thought it was the car park entrance.
  • Reversed into a table that somebody was moving.
  • Gotten wedged half off a retaining wall after driving forward instead of reversing.

She has also scratched her eye twice. Once on an envelope and another time at the store on those metal things you hang stuff off.

An Invitation Into My Mind

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I made some drawings on some cards and sent them as invitations for my birthday to my family members. My granddad thought it was a fun idea, and made a drawing of his own which he sent to me, accepting the invitation and letting me know that he looked forward to it.

This shortcircuited my mother's brain for some reason. When I got home from school, she threw my little brother and myself in the car and drove us to my granddad's house where she proceeded to scream at him, seemingly forever, about how despicable he was, how he played favourites, and how he was a terrible person for not having sent a card to my little brother for his birthday a month earlier.

The fact that my brother hadn't sent out any invitations, and that he didn't care at all about me getting a reply for my effort, didn't matter to her at all. Things were never quite the same between my mother and my granddad after that day. I still don't know what kind of a mental breakdown caused it. It's one of those things we don't talk about. And I didn't send out invitations in the years which followed.

Range Rover

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We were hiking the Grand Canyon and it was day 2 so we were hiking up and out, which is of course more challenging than walking downhill. My mom kept complaining about the heat and how tired she was, and along comes a park ranger leading a group of tourists on a burro ride to the bottom. She walks right in front of his horse (the rangers ride horses, the tourists burros/donkeys) and collapses on the ground, crying and wailing. The ranger asks if she needs medical help and she literally holds the back of her hand against her forehead like a silent film actress and sobs that she can't carry this backpack any farther, etc. The ranger says he can take her backpack and drop it off next to the ranger station at the top of the canyon and she thanks him about 12 times, crying non-stop. All this time the tourists are staring at this spectacle and that was enough for me. I was so embarrassed. I told my sister I would meet them all at the top and I took off on my own.

Old Wives' Tales People Still Believe For Some Reason

"Reddit user the_spring_goddess asked: 'What is an old wives tale that people still believe?'"

Close up of an owl tilting their head to side, looking bewildered
Photo by Josh Mills

The old wives' tales.

They are the stories of legend.

I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.

Where did they originate?

WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!

You don't hear about them as much anymore.

It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.

But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.

Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:

"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"

"Wait an hour to swim after eating."

What a crock!

So many summer hours wasted.

I want revenge for that one.

Say Nothing

Giphy

"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."

LonelyMail5115

"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."

I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA

Say Something

"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."

Severe_Airport1426

"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."

crappycurtains

"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."

AlbinoShavedGorilla

Body Temps

"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."

chriseo22

"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."

"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."

apocalypticradish

Arms Down

"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."

Fatmouse84

10 Years Actually

Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine Giphy

"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."

REDDIT

"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."

Gecko-911

I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.

This tale is haunting.

High/Low

Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace Giphy

"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."

LeastFormal9366

"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."

IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI

The Cursed

"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."

"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."

SmoreOfBabylon

Stay In

"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."

"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."

worldbound0514

Dreams and Facts

"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."

"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."

mattshonestreddit

"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."

Darthdemented

Cracked

Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office Giphy

"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."

Choice-Grapefruit-44

"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."

MacyTmcterry

I love my knuckles.

Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.

lottery tickets
Erik Mclean on Unsplash

A lot of workers daydream about some day winning the lottery and being able to say goodbye to their job.

Far too many workers are unhappy with their job duties, workplace dynamics or company culture.

But with a taste for luxuries like housing and food, they keep plugging away, year after year.

However not everyone feels that way about their job.

So what are these compelling careers?

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Therapist talking during session
Photo by Mark Williams on Unsplash

Some people stand firmly stand behind their beliefs that everyone would benefit from therapy and that therapy is life-changing.

It's because of the totally life-changing truth bombs their therapist had dropped during their sessions.

Curious, Redditor anonymiss0018 asked:

"What is a little bombshell your therapist dropped in one of your sessions that completely changed your outlook?"

Communication Issues

"'If you don’t have these problems with any other person in your life, why do you think you’re the problematic person in this one?'"

- maggiebear

"I love this. I have a 'friend' who I always seem to run into misunderstandings with. Every time we had a conversation, it somehow turned into a debate even if it was me talking about my day. The conversations were never easy."

"I always evaluate myself first and take into consideration his critiques. He was very good at convincing me that I was contradicting myself or wasn't good at communicating my thoughts."

"I NEVER had this issue with ANYONE else in my life. I kept trying to figure out where the miscommunication was coming from. In the end, I just minimized contact and now I don't run into this issue."

- chobani_yo

"I read this quote somewhere once (and probably have it a bit wrong): 'It's a waste of time arguing with someone who is determined to misunderstand you.'"

- Reddit

Emotional Regulation

"'You can’t control your emotions, but you can control what you do with them.'"

"At the time, I was a young adult who had learned zero healthy emotional regulation skills (only suppression and shaming) growing up, so this blew my mind."

- lil_mermaid

Tough Relationships

"'It sounds to me like you are trying to convince yourself to stay with your girlfriend. I'm not so sure it should be so difficult.'"

"At the time he said this, I remember it was like he said, 'The earth is flat.' I thought he was crazy when he suggested relationships don't need to be difficult. But eventually, I started to realize I was trying to change myself to stay with this person rather than just being who I am."

"It took me three more months to finally break up with her but from that day on, I vowed to never again abandon myself just to be with someone I had convinced myself was better than me."

- metric88

High-Stress Situation

"I was at a high-stress time, and I asked her how people live like this."

"She replied, 'Oftentimes they have cardiac events.' She said it as an urging to care for myself as much as possible."

- KittenGr8r

The End of Alcohol

"I was struggling with my alcoholism, and we were discussing how I had been cutting back."

"She asked what I would consider success, with regard to my drinking."

"I said I wanted to get to a point where it wasn't interfering with my daily life. I wanted to just be able to have a glass of wine at holiday dinners or family gatherings."

"She simply asked me why. Why was it important for me to drink at those times?"

"It was as if she'd turned on a light. Alcohol had always been a key ingredient in every family function, for my entire life. When I smell bourbon, I think of my uncle. When I smell vermouth, I think of my dad. Alcohol ran through almost every happy childhood memory."

"But, even more than that, I was very afraid of the explanation I'd have to give when family and friends asked why I wasn't having a drink. I had tried to quit before but failed. What if I admitted my problem, only to fall off the wagon?"

"When she asked why I didn't want to completely quit, it was the first time I saw that last part of the big picture. I'd be willing to drink myself to death in order to avoid being scrutinized, or judged for possible future failures."

"That was the day I quit. I've been sober since May 6th, 2017. 2,407 days."

- sophies_wish

Acceptance vs. Enjoyment

"'Accepting something doesn’t mean you have to like it.'"

"That took away a lot of my inner conflicts about situations because I could accept a situation without expending energy internally fighting against the injustice of it."

- alibelloc

Emotionally Immature Parents

"You are not responsible for your parents' emotional wellbeing. They are independent adults who have been on this earth for many more years than you."

- SmokedPears

Not So Lazy

"'Why do you think you're lazy?' Then she listed off all the things she knows I'm doing for my family, my job, and my life."

"It kind of blew my mind when I struggled to come up with an example."

"She also described family dysfunction as water. Some families are messed up in a way that everyone can see the huge waves across the surface. Others are better at hiding it, but there's still a riptide that you can't see unless you're also in the water."

"It made me realize that trying to keep the surface from ever rippling doesn't erase what is happening underneath."

- flybyknight665

The Harm in People-Pleasing

"'Why do you make people more comfortable when you are uncomfortable?' when talking about people pleasing and fawning."

- ERsandwich

Agree to Disagree

"'Stop trying to get everyone to agree. When you need everyone to agree, the least agreeable person has all the power.'"

This really changed my outlook on planning family events."

- freef

Grieve and Start Anew

"For context, I had a major TBI (traumatic brain injury), seizures, strokes, and all around not a fun brain time when I was 28."

"They said, 'You have to grieve the loss of yourself.'"

"Most people wanted me to go back to how I was. The f**ked up truth is that part of my brain is dead. The person everyone (including myself) knew died. I needed to grieve the loss of myself."

- squeaktoy_la

Multifaceted Identity

"They told me that my job and career is just a way to make money; it's not my life or identity. That took a lot of pressure off me."

- unfairpegasus

Breaking the Cycle

"They validated me."

"'You always talk about not wanting to do to your daughters what your mom did to you. You worry about it so much in every interaction you have ever had with them."

"But your children are 19 and 21 now. They are happy and healthy and they trust you because you’ve never abused them in any way. So I just want to validate for you that you really have broken that cycle of violence."

"You did that. And you should be proud of it. I’m proud of you for it.'"

- puppsmcgee74

The Grieving Process

"I was constantly bringing up how I felt like a completely different person after my mom died... like there was a marked difference between before and after her death."

"But once, she was asking about my hobbies, I got really into describing all the things I loved to do or at least used to do before I got into a deep depression."

"She was like, 'Wow, you seem very passionate.'"

"And I just sat there like, 'Well, I mean, I can't change what I like to do, they're still fun to do.'"

"And it's like she knew when to take a step back, because it was like, wow, I may be super depressed about my mom passing, but I'm still me. I'm still my passions and those don't go away."

"I don't know, maybe it only makes sense to be, but it really started getting me back on track."

- Hannibal680

Sharing the Load

"I've never really had friends. I've had colleagues and classmates and housemates and people who have hung out with me, but I never really felt close to any of them."

"And I did that thing you see on here sometimes; I stopped reaching out to see if I would be reached out to, and I wasn't, which I took as confirmation that they didn't really want me around, or at the very least, that they wouldn't mind my absence."

"I was talking to my therapist about people I'd been close to in college, and she told me to pick one and talk about him. So I did. After I shared some basic stuff like his name and his major etc., and a couple of anecdotes, she asked me what else I knew about him."

"And I couldn't answer. It wasn't really a broadly applicable bombshell, but she said, 'What else?' and I started crying because I realized that for as simple as the question was, my inability to answer spoke volumes."

"I've never had good friends because I've never been a good friend. I'm withdrawn and reserved and I always made others do the work to drag me out, without ever extending my own friendship in a meaningful way in return. If I wanted to have meaningful relationships with other people, I would have to build them."

"I'm still working on this, but I'm trying to make more offers and extend more friendliness to others in my daily life."

- Backupusername

The discoveries in this thread were incredibly touching and profound; it's no wonder these were lasting concepts for these Redditors.

It's important to keep ourselves open to inspiration and insights from others, as we have no idea how their experiences could help us, or how we could help them.

Aerial view of a church in a small town
Sander Weeteling/Unsplash

There's something comforting about living in a small town.

It's characterized by close communities where neighbors know each other by name and there is an abundance of kindness extended to others.

Gift-giving is a commonality, as is the sharing of recipes, and people going out of their way to help each other in a time of need.

The pace of living in small towns is also a striking contradiction to city life, where crowds of people go about their busy lives without much interaction.

Curious to hear more examples of what small town living is like, Redditor official_biz asked:

"What's the most 'small town' thing you've witnessed?"

These are positive examples of a tight-knit community.

Live Updates

"We have a village Facebook page. Every time the ice cream man drives into the village, the entire page goes ballistic. People send live updates of where the van is and which direction he's heading. The ice cream man has started accepting DMs so he knows which streets to go down."

– PyrrhuraMolinae

Brush With The Law

"I’m from a town of less than 2,000 people. When I worked at the grocery store there people would often drop off stuff for my family members because they didn’t want to drive all the way down to our house. I no longer live there but recently got a call from my daughter. She had been stopped for speeding and handed over her license and insurance which happens to be in my mother’s name. The officer goes 'Hey, you’re Donnie’s granddaughter! I ain’t gonna write you a ticket but I’m telling Donnie when I see him tomorrow cause we’re going fishing.' She replied 'I think I’d rather have the ticket.'”

- Reddit

Roadside Catchup

"The traffic on the 'main street' of my town is so sparse, two drivers going opposite directions can stop and talk to each other for a few minutes without causing any problem."

– anon

When things go wrong, people take notice without incident.

Bank Robbery

"A guy robbed a bank and everyone knew immediately who he was and the teller got mad at him."

– AlexRyang

"A local bank was robbed and one of the tellers told the police to bring her a yearbook from about ten years earlier and she would be able to point the robber out. He had been in the grade before hers in school."

– Strict_Condition_632

Wise Woman

"When I worked at the bank in town there was an older lady that had worked there through 5 mergers."

"She knew everyone, there was a young guy yelling at me one day. She walked out of the back and he immediately quieted. She went off about telling his grandmother that he was treating young women like sh*t. She also said that if he didn’t straighten up not one girl in town would ever marry him she would make sure of it."

– ilurvekittens

Intoxicated Local

"Town drunk was paralyzed and used a motorized wheelchair to get around. I was driving home one Saturday night and said town drunk was passed out in his wheelchair doing circles almost directly in the town square. Had to call his brother who came and picked him up on a rollback truck. Strapped him down and drove off into the cold dark night."

– DoodooExplosion

Grazing Over To The Bar

"In my former small town, there was an older guy who'd lost his license after getting a few DUIs. Every day, he would ride his John Deere lawnmower to the corner bar around 3PM and sit around watching TV and sipping his beer well into the night. Then he'd head the couple miles back home on his mower. He even had a little canvass shell he put on when it rained or got too cold."

– brown_pleated_slacks

It's not surprising how small town people behave differently than those who are from metropolitan areas.

Welcoming Committee

"I lived in a small town. When I moved there, people would ask, 'Whose house did you buy?'"

–MoonieNine

"Move to a small town. 30 years later, you are still the new guy."

– impiousdrifter

"I lived in a small town for most of my childhood but I wasn't "from there" because my grandparents weren't from there."

– raisinghellwithtrees

"Worked with an older guy, relative of the owner of the business, he was 73. I asked him if he was a local, he said 'no his parents moved here when he was two.'"

– realneil

A Busy Day

"Lived in a town of about 5,000: A woman walked into the DMV on a Friday, saw that there were 3 people ahead of her and left to come back another time when they weren't so busy."

– KenmoreToast

Who Let The Dogs Out?

"My dogs got out while i was working. the police called my niece's elementary school (she was a 5th grader) to get her to round them up and take them back home."

– mediocrelpn

"There was a small kennel behind the police station for runaways. They called us saying they had our dog, and moments later our dog showed up home. He broke out of jail."

– Worried_Place_917

While life in a small town sounds appealing, I don't know if I can ever live in one.

I'm so used to life in big cities, I think it would be quite unnerving to adjust in a neighborhood where everyone literally knows your business.

I would be paranoid.

And I'm sure the same could be said of life in the big city.

Would you consider making the switch to life in a different setting?