Graveyard Employees Share The Scariest Things They've Ever Experienced
There are few jobs we can think of with more creep potential than working with or around the dead.
Whether you believe in ghosts or not, the setting itself is usually pretty scare-friendly when you think about it. The quiet alone is enough to get minds playing tricks on you.
But are they just mind tricks? Or is something else happening?
Reddit user wildeyephenix asked:
From the responses, about half of the people seem convinced there's nothing to fear from the dead. The other half couldn't get out of there fast enough.
We won't pretend to have any real answers, we're just here to relay the information. It's up to you to decide what you believe based on these folks' experiences.
Surrounded By Bodies
My dad purchased a cemetery when I was in middle school, and I worked for him through high school graduation. I did yard work; mowing, weed eating, flower beds, ect. Aside from the occasional shadows seen out of the corner of my eye, seeing people who turned out to not be there, and hearing strange sounds, the cemetery was actually a quite peaceful place.
The strangest is when you have a burial in the crypts. Basically, you dig down about 4 or 5 feet to expose giant cement doors. You pull the cement doors off and drop down into a little room. These rooms can fit 2 coffins, OR years and years and years worth of cremated remains. So back in the 50s and 60s, families would buy one crypt and the entire fam would be cremated and put in it. Some just put the cremated remains in it and close her up, but others light candles and leave flowers and souvenirs and pictures and whatnot.
Its freaking creepy opening up one of those bad boys after 50 years and finding melted candles and old pictures of the people inside. Plus when you hop down in there you have a weird realization that you are at the same level and completely surrounded by bodies...
I used to do some odd jobs at the 12th century graveyard in my hometown.
12th century, as in the church and its surrounding graveyard had been in continuous use for at least that long. When you keep burying bodies in the same small patch of ground for that many centuries, eventually the soil has been turned over dozens of times and consists mainly of bone fragments.
You can't even plant flowers there without accidentally uncovering some teeth or finger bones or something, it's nothing but fragmented skeletons all the way down under the thin turf. The "soil" sort of resembles seaside shellsand, except on closer examination all the light-colored bits are bone fragments rather than crushed seashells.
Not really scary or unexpected, just a bit eerie until you get used to it. You learn to treat anything recognizable as human remains with respect, and just tuck it away out of sight under the plant or whatever else you were putting there.
I was a tombstone caretaker for a cemetery in rural Georgia. It was an easy summertime job for a 16 year old; nothing crazy, just cleaning off the grime of the elements on tombstones etc.
Now to just put a setting, the cemetery included one building that housed bathrooms for the 5 "staff members." Then there was a small simple mausoleum and other than that, flat earth with tombstones EVERYWHERE. The only surroundings were dense forests in the Georgia country.
Because of the eerie surroundings, I was always a bit paranoid. Plus I watch a lot of scary movies and so on. I know, bad combo.
So one night I was doing my rounds, and I had to go into the small mausoleum. We had some of the richer families in the areas entombed within and I had to go in to make sure all was neat and clean. Standards had to be upheld for these uppity folks.
So I approached and right off the bat something was off. The air was pretty damn cold during the summer in Georgia; that was odd. There was a light coming from the mausoleum and as I approached, I heard voices and laughter. Laughter from a child, a little girl.
I thought it was simply younger folks playing around, maybe? But I hadn't seen anyone enter or leave the cemetery, and the laughter sounded very young. As I got closer, the voices and laughter died - like almost instantly.
I pause. The light I saw had gone out.
I called the lone security officer, cause I'm not gonna go in alone. We will call him Officer Friendly. When Officer Friendly arrives we both go inside. We see one of the doors to the entombed remains of a young girl open. Nothing was disturbed within, but the door was open and a doll lay on the stone beneath it.
Me and officer friendly do a small sweep. We close the door to the girls entombment, and we both leave. As we walk away we get about 30 feet from the mausoleum and then all of a sudden - boom - the voices and laughter are back again.
I jump and officer friendly looks to me, looking pretty shaken, says to me "You hear it too?"
We look back and, sure enough the lights are back and the laughter is continuing. We don't go back. We just book it and run away. I found out the next morning that the door was open again. This time the doll was on the other side of the mausoleum from where we found it the night before.
I resigned the next day. I'm good lol
She Needed To Get Back
When I was in college I worked part time at a Jewish Cemetery in reception/office management. The cemetery was closed from Friday afternoon through Saturday evening for Sabbath. We sometimes stayed a bit later in the office on Friday afternoons to get bills out or checks processed.
One Friday we heard a loud commotion by the cemetery entrance, which was locked and only staff could get in and out. The office manager went to see what was going on and made me come with her. We went down to the gate to find an older woman (probably around 70) dressed to the 9's begging us to let her in. She kept saying she needed to get back.
This was in the suburbs of NJ so you needed a car to get around but we didn't see a car or anything, she was just there in this beautiful dress. We couldn't open the gate without the Cemetery Manager, so we went to go get him. We brought him back to the gate and no one was there.
We looked at video footage of the entrance and you could see us (the office manager and me) talking but there was no one on the other side of the gate. The cemetery manager thought we were trying to trick him. I swear to this day we saw a woman in a fancy dress outside that gate.
There were multiple cameras and not a single one picked up anyone on the other side of the gate and you could see the whole gate. All you could see was us talking. I don't know if it was a ghost or what. The office manager and I decided not to tell anyone else, but we would mention it to each other every once in a while.
Former funeral director for my families business here. One of our workers cleaned up after everyone had left from a visitation/viewing/wake. It was about 9pm or later and he saw one last guest walking around in the visitation room. He went to help escort the gentleman out but when he walked into the room no one was in there.
When he came back and told us the story he described the visitor. His description sounded familiar so we showed him some old pictures. He identified the man he saw in a photo we had at the funeral home; it was my grandfather who had recently passed.
A Different Kind Of Horrific
I work at a graveyard, and I just have one thing to say. Plastic.
Here in Norway graves are protected by law for 20 years, but after that the spots can be "reused". Usually a grave is fine to reopen after 20 years - the body is supposed to be decomposed and pretty much gone. Now back to plastic:
Between the 50s and 80s it was common here to be buried in plastic, to minimize "smell and leakage". I'm sure they thought it was a good idea back then, but once we started reusing graves in Norway we realized it is a curse. A lot of bodies are wrapped in plastic, and I've myself been part of what was supposed to be a burial at a reused site. The body was about 50 or 60 years old, and should be basically gone, but nope it was not. The plastic wrap it was covered by kept the body from decomposing, and it's basically just been marinated it its own juices for 50/60 years. The smell was awful, the sight was even worse.
I'm sure this is not the kind of story you wanted, but it's honestly the most horrific and bizarre thing I've ever been part of.
Screaming All Around You
It's not quite the same, but I had an uncle who tried "working" (as in selling and doing drugs) the graveyards between 10pm and 4am. He only lasted a few nights in that area then never went back.
What was it that scared him so badly that he felt his soul rattle in his bones, as his blood froze cold????
Prairie dogs.... Stupid little prairie dogs....
What's so frightening about simple ground squirrels you might ask? Those cute little fuzz balls that scavenge whatever they can... Well, apparently they like to randomly come out their holes in the middle of the night - and scream. If you've never heard a prairie dog scream, you should know it's high pitched and terrible.
Creepy, but that doesn't sound too bad, right? Imagine being surrounded by dozens of little rodents you can't see, in the pitch black of night, surrounded by the dead, tweaked out of your mind, paranoid as hell, and then suddenly hearing Hellish blood curdling screaming all around you.....
His little group scattered like roaches, and I think someone fell into a ditch, but he was convinced it was an empty grave. He never did that again.
I worked for a county cemetery department years ago. We would go to all the cemeteries in the county and mow or just do basic upkeep. Occasionally people (mainly farmers) would stumble upon some headstones in a field or a stand of trees and we would come out and prod the ground with dowel rods to find more headstones and reestablish the cemetery.
Shortly after I started working there we got a tip about some headstones a farmer found while clearing out a path through some trees for easier access to his field. It turned out to be the oldest cemetery in the county, dating back to the 1700's.
After investigating some of the names on the headstones it got really creepy. The story is that before the cemetery was there, a school house stood on that spot. The teachers were a husband and wife. It's not clear on what exactly happened but the students and the husband and wife all died in the schoolhouse.
The information we found kind of made it sound like an illness of some kind and they were all quarantined in the school until they all died. After that the school was demolished and the students and husband and wife were all buried right where the school stood. So yeah I'm sure it's haunted.
As a kid in '82, and Michael Jackson's Thriller was on everyone's minds.
One night it was getting late when we got caught in a big rainstorm, so we called it quits on our basketball game and went our separate ways.
The big cemetery I cut through must've closed up for the night and I found the gates locked. Going around would take forever so I decided to climb over the fence, only to land hard on the other side. It was muddy, so I not only wrenched my ankle pretty bad but took a giant mud bath.
I was covered in mud, limping, and groaning from pain when I reached the other side. As I emerged from the darkness, a couple saw me limping and groaning, while trying to squeeze through the cemetery's wrought iron fence.
I remember their screams to this day.
Former Funeral director here.
My partner and I had just gotten back to the funeral home from a house call for a 31 year old woman who died of cancer. As we were moving her body from the cot to embalming table we heard an audible click and the radio across the room turned on full volume of static. It's one of those old radios you turn the volume dial until it clicks to turn it on.
We both looked at each other. He was an extremely religious man and this event visibly shook him and he left not long after the incident. I shut the radio off as I typically used my phone to listen to music while embalming. When I'd finished the procedure and was attempting to move her from the embalming table to a dressing table I heard that click from that old radio and it turned on full volume yet again.
At that point I was fairly freaked out and made my exit not long after. My partner and I never spoke of it again and nothing like that ever occurred to my knowledge before or after.
I used to mow the lawn at a cemetery as part of my summer job. I always volunteered because it was the only place I could work with my shirt off and try to fight my farmer's tan. Anyway the only creepy thing is that coffins must break and fill with dirt over time because once and awhile you'll be walking and sink up to your knee in a small sink hole on top of a grave. Didn't really bother me unless I was walking at a good pace but some of the other people would get freaked out by that.
None The Wiser
My family owned and operated a funeral home and cemetery until my late teenage years. In the summers, I would work the cemetery cutting grass, weed eating, preparing graves for caskets, covering the caskets, assembling and placing granite markers, etc.
People would often come to visit the graves of deceased friends and family, so I thought nothing of it when they would come and go.
On this particular day, I was weeding with headphones all morning for maybe 4 hours. A truck came in pretty early and parked on the other side of the large cemetery. I never even really looked over to see the guy get out or get back in his truck. Didn't pay any attention at all to him.
Around lunch time my grandfather came out to the cemetery, and being the socialite business owner that he was at that time, went over to speak. Apparently the older guy had visited the grave of his wife, got back into his car and shot himself right there in the cemetery while I was none the wiser.
I was doing sales at a cemetery, and had lock up the mausoleum at night and make sure no families were in there.
One night I was walking through and heard something. It was gone in an instant but it was a scratching kind of sound.
It sounded exactly like you expect sometime clawing their way out of a mausoleum would sound.
I almost jumped out of my skin and ran out of there like a little baby, but I didn't want to turn around (the sound was behind me).
After about 3 days, and no further sounds I turned around and realized it was the automatic air freshener spritzing the place to not smell like dead.
I See You
Every summer I would work at the cemetery and it was fine most nights until a year ago, summer of 2018.
I was working a night shift and started to feel weak or dizzy if you must and I fell due to it, turns out I was sick and didn't wanna stay the night but previously I have been late, so if I left now.... I'd be fired, so I stuck it out for a few minutes when my phone went off and a text said; "I see you..."
At that point I was scared because this never happened to me before and nobody was around that I could see, so I called out for immediate family like, Mom, Dad and my 4 Younger brothers. Nothing
So I left after no response and moved out a month later, and never went back...
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Reddit user primeiro23 asked: 'What are the craziest ways you’ve heard of people making money?'
When I was in seventh grade, I had aspirations to be a poet. I made a Mother's Day card for my mom with a cute (but now, cringe-worthy) poem inside, and a hand-drawn picture of a rose that took me hours to perfect.
A friend saw the card and said they wished they could do the same. Then suddenly, she asked if she could buy the card from me. I said no, since I needed to give it to my own mother, but I said I could make her a copy. From there, my friend got the idea for me to make copies of the card to sell. I went along with it, mostly because I didn't think it would actually work.
Turns out, it did. After making sure people would actually be interested, we went to the library after school and made several color copies of my card for 10 cents each. The next day, we sold each card for $1. Not only did we make enough money so that my friend and I could both afford to get our moms an actual present in addition to the card, but we had enough leftover to put us over the top for the money we needed to buy the matching faux leather jackets we'd been wanting all year.
The next year, many people who bought cards asked me to do it again, so I did. Once again, we made a killing. We didn't try to do it again once we got to high school, but it was definitely fun while it lasted.
When we tell people this story, they think it's a pretty crazy money-making scheme. Maybe it is, but we're not the only ones who ever did anything like this. Redditors know all about crazy money-making schemes, and are eager to share their own stories.
It all started when Redditor primeiro23 asked:
"What are the craziest ways you’ve heard of people making money?"
Tumble Into Business
"In college, I take a class on how to start & run a small business. Prof tells us to think of ridiculous business models for our fictitious businesses as we will get more out of the class that way. Stupid ideas ensue. Selling paperclips door to door, refilling car gasoline tanks in people's driveways, service to read & summarize the newspaper to executives etc."
"One classmate decides he is going to sell tumbleweed."
"Guess who quits college and started a successful business? Tumbleweed guy. Takes a van to the desert, collects tumbleweed and sells them to Hollywood movie & TV studios who need them. Keeps the tumbleweed in a warehouse and since they never spoil, his only costs are gasoline, storage & a website. He eventually becomes the number one tumbleweed provider to studios around the world, shipping tumbleweed globally."
"Made a heap of money selling what millions of people drive by and ignore every year."
"I did have a job reading and summarizing newspaper articles to the boss. Literally only task I was hired for."
"An actual union job in the film industry is reading scripts and summarizing them in short mean book reports."
"Heard of crazier, but a guy I know, friend of my mother's, went to Texas 30+ years ago. (we are from Norway), and he noticed every single garden had a trampoline. And it was almost always "jump king" - the circular with blue mat ones."
"So he went to the HQ, bought 10 and took back to Norway. Within days they were sold, and he ordered 50 more, same thing. So he became the only importer and has God knows how many millions to his name today."
"This IS wild. I went to Norway recently and one of the first things I noticed was that almost EVERY yard had a trampoline in it."
Working For A Home
"Back when Dogecoin took off I wrote a guide on recovering old lost wallets and it got so popular I was flooded with requests for further help. Some corrupted wallet files, some lost passwords, etc."
"I have a background in computer science and experience in data retrieval and password cracking, so I started helping people in exchange for a percentage cut (industry standard for wallet recovery). All above board with a contract and everything."
"For a while I was getting new clients every week and making hundreds up to thousands of dollars on every successful recovery (with a fairly good rate of success). The biggest one I ever recovered was a 19 letter long password someone had lost. The work dried up when the price of doge dropped but it got me the down-payment on a house."
"A cabbie in Dublin once told me a story about one of his fares who had a brilliant hustle."
"The guy was a sculptor. He would watch horse races, then when a horse won, he'd use social media to contact the owner directly with a digital mockup of a life-sized sculpture of the winning horse. Now, the people who own winning racehorses tend to be very rich - we're talking sheikhs, oligarchs, billionaires. Every now and again, one of these owners would bite, and spend €100,000 euros or so on a statue commemorating their animal's win."
"Dude only did a couple a year, and spent the rest of the time living the good life."
"Richest guy in a rich town near us makes enormous amounts of money buying Hershey bars and rewrapping them with customised retirement celebration designs or corporate logos to be given away at events. Literally just rewraps them in pieces of paper and doubles or triples his money."
"Every time I try to start a company or invent a better product or something, I ask myself why I’m not just rewrapping candy bars."
"F**k man, I think I found my new niche."
"I went to college in a capitol C college town. A friend of mine bought an old school bus, fixed it up and took out all the seats."
"At the end of every semester she would drive around the neighborhood that was the fancier side of off campus living and collect whatever the rich kids were throwing out before they moved / went home for the summer. Flat screen TVs, couches, computers, tables, it was wild to see what people would chuck out and replace the next semester rather than having to deal with getting a storage unit or moving themselves."
"Sold it all on Craigslist over the summer or the beginning of the next semester and made a killing."
Credit Where Credit Is Undue
"When I worked in a really busy, upscale restaurant my coworker would put all of his cash-paying customer’s bills on his credit card and keep the cash which he used to promptly pay off his credit card."
"He did this all day, every day for quite a while and the points started to add up and he was getting free airfare, etc."
"Worked great for a while until management notice a rise in credit card processing fees with an emphasis on one employee and they shut him down real quick."
We Found Gold!
"My buddy worked his way through college by panning for gold. This was in 2009 in California. Most days he made nothing, occasionally he would come home with a couple hundred bucks worth and I think once he found a night worth over $1k."
"My cousin had a metal detector when he was in HS. He would go every weekend down to the lake and take it with him on vacation. He found all kinds of things. He did find gold jewelry and would sell it online. He made so much money he bought his own car."
Sleeping For The Job
"I knew a woman whose job was literally to sleep."
"A local office building owner wanted somebody on-site 24/7 to be the point of contact with first responders if they ever needed to be called. So they hired her to come in to the building in the evening when the maintenance crew was finishing their work. And she would settle up to sleep for the night in a bedroom they'd set aside for her. In the morning she'd hand the building back over to the office employees and go on about her day."
"No first responders were ever called. It's about the least stressful legitimate job I could ever imagine."
"Back in the 90s, I knew a guy who put an ad in the classified section of the newspaper which read something along the lines of, “For $10, I’ll tell you my secret to making easy money. Send $10 cash to (address) to find out how.” People would send him $10 & he would then instruct them to put a classified ad in the newspaper telling people to send $10 & how to make money."
"I was pushed down the stairs by a teen girl who told me to "pay attention and get out of her way" i ripped my dress during the fall and was getting back up when some guy rushed up to me, apologized for his daughter and handed me $500 as compensation."
"LOL - years back, I was in a parking lot during a snowstorm. A guy was trying to pull around me, slid on the snow/ice and hit into my passenger side door. It really and truly was an accident. He was all apologies. We exchanged info - he said to get a quote and he would pay for the damage."
"Well, the car I was driving at the time was a crappy old Ford worth maybe $500. But, I went to a body shop, got a quote on the repair and it was $900. I faxed it to him (this was back in the 90's, LOL) thinking he'd tell me to go through the insurance company and just have the car totaled out."
"To my surprise, I had a bank check for $900 from him in my mailbox three days later. Now, I already owned another car, so I pocketed the $900, sold the smashed car for parts for $300 and ended up with $1200 on a car that was worth only $500 before the accident. I was very glad that he ran into me!"
– Deleted User
"I have a friend who sells pictures of her feet. In heels. Barefoot squishing cake. In mud. She charges extra for special requests. Has strict ‘no go’ rules. Never shows anything above the calf so she can’t be identified (no tats). All proceeds go to her kid’s college fund. Has made enough to fund a PhD."
The things people do for money! But, I guess it works for her!
When we're in pain or scared, we're not on our best behavior.
We've got more important things on our minds than proper etiquette.
Couple our lowered inhibitions with the bizarre amalgam that is the human body and weirdness is bound to happen in hospital waiting rooms.
Reddit user IAmAsianHearMeRoar asked:
"What did you see happen in the hospital waiting room?"
"A cat walked in once."
"Shamelessly caught everyone's attention."
"Maybe due to how long we were kept waiting, but a few of us jumped at the chance to grab the cats' attention."
"I’m excited to see a cat every time I see a cat."
"I own three cats. Or they own me, whatever."
"I’ve worked in the vet field 3 years, have my own cat and I’m always excited to see a cat. I love cats!"
"Watched a guy fake passing out so he didn’t have to wait, since there were a lot of people waiting."
"A**hole winked at me as he was wheeled back on a gurney."
Don't Do This
"I once saw a guy cut himself with a piece of broken glass just to be seen sooner by the nurses during triage."
"I had taken the elevator down from an appointment at one of the hospital's smaller buildings, my young children in tow."
"When the elevator reached the bottom floor, I realized immediately that there was a very purple elderly man lying between us and the exit, surrounded by medical professionals performing CPR on him."
"I closed the elevator door and rode back up before the kids noticed anything and we hung out in the waiting room until the ambulance had pulled away. Got my first CPR certification a few weeks later."
"I was in the emergency waiting room with my Mom."
"I was the one with an emergency and was drowsy the whole time, but I remember that at some point a man was wheeled into the room while making throat noises (think The Grudge) and my Mom took my face in her hands and told me, very calmy and without an inch of panic in her voice, to look through the window and tell her what that weird tree was because she'd never seen one like that (she definitely had)."
"I had no idea what was going on so I kept staring at that tree, and then it was my turn so we left the waiting room."
"Days later she told me that the man who was wheeled into the room had one of his legs hanging on for dear life and that there was blood everywhere on his pants, but also on his clothes."
"He was drunk so he probably had a fight. I hope he's okay now."
"My Mom is the best. She was worried and didn't want me to see this. So she took in the sight but protected me from it. Sometimes, I think we don't deserve Moms."
"My doctor hired her son to be a receptionist."
"He announced a woman’s STD tests in the lobby."
"He didn’t work there long."
"I was sitting in the ER waiting room and this young couple comes in. The man pushing his girlfriend in a wheelchair."
"She’s barely conscious, slumped over and pale."
"As the boyfriend is checking her in, she wakes ups and Exorcist-style projectile vomits onto the floor. Nurses rush her back."
"The boyfriend then sits down and not a minute passes before out of nowhere he does the same!"
"Everyone waiting slapped masks on real quick once that happened."
"This is how zombie apocalypses always start."
An All Beet Diet?
"I went to the ER with a kidney stone and there was an old couple sitting across from me probably in their 60’s or 70’s."
"The lady was bickering to the man complaining about how long they’ve been there. The only thing is that this woman was completely purple."
"Like all of her face and head was this dark purple. She didn’t appear to be in any pain but my f*ck was she ever purple."
The Circle of Life
"Like 20 years ago waiting in the ER I see a guy dressed up as a full monkey being wheeled on a stretcher past a large doorway and then 3 other monkeys following him."
"They were performers from the live Lion King show at Disney Animal Kingdom."
Holiday Cheers 🍻
"I work as a nurse in the emergency, I’ve seen some crazy things."
"Once while security was busy doing two separate take downs, an old guy dressed up like Santa unzipped his backpack and started handing out beers to everyone in the waiting room."
"So what you’re telling me is Santa’s real???"
"Once upon a time I was waiting on news of a friend who'd been in an accident."
"I saw a guy (about early twenties) come in with him mom because he'd fallen off of his roof and dislocated his shoulder. After about an hour of waiting his mom just says 'F*ck it! This is taking too long!' and legit began to Google how to reset a shoulder."
"After about 5 mins of research, she took off her belt, folded it up and told him to bite down on it. She then proceeded to violently shove her son's shoulder back into the socket while he naturally screamed in agony."
"Security and nurses rush over to see what the commotion is and more or less need to pull her off of him. Security sits her down and the nurses take the poor kid and get him treated."
Our Robot Overlords
"I watched a robot filing cabinet press the elevator button and guide itself to a different area of the hospital."
"We have these at my hospital. They even dress them up. Handy little robots help us transport non-emergent meds, lab samples, and equipment."
"I wish our robots could do that."
"Instead, we have 4 delivery robots that all need a person to follow them and put them on and take them off of the elevators."
"Or we could just, y'know, hand the meds to the person and not take 38 minutes to get it there."
True (Toxic) Love
"Girl trying to get admitted to the mental health unit, turns out her boyfriend was a patient. She didn't get admitted, she wasn't happy about it but she left."
"Next thing we know there's a car doing donuts just outside of the ER entrance, she was throwing things out the window and screaming 'Am I crazy enough now?'."
"She ends up driving around to the other side of the hospital and driving right through some sliding glass doors."
"She's lucky she didn't kill someone—another 10 feet and she would have crashed over a railing and into the cafeteria below, where staff was napping on a couch."
"Definitely got carted away, but not to where she wanted to go."
"Thing is her boyfriend wasn't even in that hospital; there's a small mental health inpatient unit, but her boyfriend was in a completely separate mental health facility about 15 km away."
"This was right in the heart of the pandemic, when building materials were really hard to come by, and so the entrance that she drove through ended up being closed for about 6 months."
People going to the hospital are in crisis most of the time.
It's to be expected that the unexpected is bound to happen.
No matter how good it might be, no relationship is 100% perfect 100% of the time.
On the contrary, there are some relationships that seem pretty doomed to fail, and it's disheartening how many signs we can spot of the relationship coming apart, perhaps even before the couple themselves is aware of it.
But as clear as a sign of trouble might be, it can feel impossible to talk to a loved one about it when it's about their relationship.
Redditor AnitaDeckenme123 asked:
"What are some signs that your married friend doesn't have a good marriage?"
All Joking Aside
"Talking s**t about their spouse, even if it’s in a joking way, is a clear sign to me. I went to a bachelor party with a bunch of guys I didn’t know and they spent the entire time b***hing about their wives, and they all sounded miserable."
Desperate to Hide the Truth
"They are withdrawn or secretive. If your friend is suddenly withdrawn or secretive, it may be a sign that they are having problems in their marriage."
Weird Gestures to "Mark Their Territory"
"His hang glider now has a full-sized graphic of his spouse holding the cat on it. And he wasn't asked beforehand."
"They talk about divorce hypothetically."
"Okay, but what if, say, I am watching a lot of true crime murder shows, and he tells me we can just get a divorce instead of me killing him? Does that count? Lol (laughing out loud)."
"When they don’t care what the other person is doing or where they are. Basically, two people who live separate lives and live like roommates."
"My friend never says anything bad about her husband, but she also doesn't speak about him much at all. They’ve been married less than a year, but she's said things like not caring what he's up to a couple of times, and it made me wonder if that was normal in marriage. It feels wrong."
Fighting in Public
"I’ve known two different couples that off and on fought a lot around me at certain points, which isn’t obviously a great sign."
"The fighting stopped, but what I realized after a while that may be worse is that they didn’t interact at all unless absolutely necessary."
"I’m mostly oblivious, so it took my wife pointing it out to notice that both of these couples never really talk to each other besides mandatory stuff like plans or the kids."
"No casual conversations, no eye contact, no touching each other; literally no interaction that’s not necessary for the family to function."
"I suppose it’s better than fighting in public, but it’s kind of weird once you notice it."
Social Media Cover Stories
"If they're plastering social media with how HAPPY they are, and they're SO IN LOVE, and THEY'RE GOING TO BE TOGETHER FOREVER, that's a sure sign that things are in the process of going sideways."
"This confuses me SO much. I have two close friends (women) who have been texting me nonstop about how s**tty their significant others are, like going OFF about them, long voice messages, etc."
"Then between messages, I will open Facebook and see they just made a post about how much they love their partner with a cute picture and tons of hearts and s**t."
"Like... WHAT. I have never called them out, but what the h**l?"
"Gah, my BIL (Brother-in-Law) divorced after a short two-year marriage, and this was the prime indicator of knowing that they were doomed."
"They did this kissy cutesy schmoopy lovey-dovey thing in public, and the worse their relationship got, the more publicly showy they were about showing how in love they were. It was horrific to watch unfold."
Controlling and Jealous Behavior
"In my experience, going out with my old homie that was married, I couldn't ever post us out at the bar or anything. If his wife saw it, she’d blow her top apparently."
"We went out for my 23rd birthday a couple of years ago and merely his elbow was in the video of me sipping on whatever drink I had. In a panic, he urged that I delete it before his wife saw it for whatever reason."
"They’re divorced now."
Mean to Their Partner
"When their identity is the 'person who is mean to their spouse.'"
"I was at a party this weekend and there was a woman who just bad-mouthed her husband and talked about how nice it was to be away from him and the kids for the night. That’s like her shtick… she talks about how her kids and husband are s**tty. It’s such a gross personality, and it’s relatively common. It shouldn’t be common at all."
"They flirt a lot. A lot of unhappily married people I know are quick to flirt with anyone who seems interested because they want to feel that spark again."
"When one of them is out and their spouse does not stop calling them."
"I can't imagine living like that. I took a 10-day road trip to the beach alone, and all my husband asked of me was to keep my location turned on in case of an accident, and text a few times a day so he knew I was alive. That's trust."
The Depression or Glow Up Era
"If they suddenly seem really down on themselves or stop taking care of themselves for seemingly no reason, If their outlook on relationships and/or marriage had changed since getting married, If they have nothing good to say about their partner or just don't talk about them..."
"The list goes on."
"Or reverse, they start glowing up. They lose weight, focus on appearance more, it means they're getting ready to split."
"When my husband died, some friends admitted that they were a little jealous."
"My ex-husband responded, 'One can only hope,' and looked at me when he heard someone’s wife died."
"I would never say this to someone, but I understand the sentiment. I absolutely wished my ex-husband dead a handful of times. It's one of those things where you can't leave because I had very little money of my own and staying meant living with abuse."
Jealous of Working Relationships
"It's bad when you avoid or feel guilty talking about how happy you are or about the nice and thoughtful things that your partner does because you know your friend can't relate."
"Yikes. This is how I am with a friend group of mine. They’re always complaining about their husbands, and I stay silent. I don’t want to rub it in that I love my husband and he’s mostly awesome. In the past two years, one has gotten divorced and another is on her way there."
"It gets weird for me when people are like, 'Must be nice to get away from the wife' if I'm on a work trip or something."
"I don't understand. I sleep better when my wife's next to me, I feel better about the day when I get to see her and talk to her, she makes me smile all the damn time."
"Everybody on the planet is a very distant second on my list of people I want to be around, and even though we do plenty of things separately I don't see time apart as some sort of reprieve from her presence."
Wishing They Were Out
"I got married young and a lot of older guys gave me s**t for it, like they resented their wives for settling down too soon. It upsets me when men talk s**t about their wives. If you hate your wife, then leave, she’s probably better off without you."
"My wife is my best friend. Seven years later, our relationship only grows stronger over time. If you love someone and they love you back, be grateful for that and show it!"
There are many ways to tell that a relationship is in a downward spiral, especially when the relationship is not our own.
But these accounts were intense and ones that we can only hope are less common.
Whenever we feel like something isn't right about our bodies or we're suffering from some kind of medical issues, we want them taken care of straight away.
The problem with that is, that depending on whom we're getting information from, we tend to believe in the initial diagnosis or remedy because we trust the professional sources and we want quick solutions.
But do doctors and health specialists always know what they're talking about?
Unfortunately, that is not always the case.
Strangers online shared their medical horror stories when Redditor Ohyo_Ohyo_Ohyo_Ohyo asked:
"What is the worst health advice you've been given?"
Not doing further research into something that raises eyebrows can be a fatal mistake.
Turns Out It Was Brain Cancer
"i went cross eyed and my primary said 'could be a sinus thing, get some mucinex.'”
"turns out it was glioblastoma."
"Wow, that's an absurdly sh**ty doctor. The same thing happened to my mother and it was quickly determined that it was stage 4 lung cancer. She made it about 3 months after that. She was 48 and I was 18 so the idea that any doctor would ignore that is infuriating to me."
Second Opinion Saves Lives
"My primary doctor kept telling me that nothing was wrong with my thyroid, and I was a hypochondriac."
"I had been told at 12 years old that I had thyroid issues and she told me that doctor was wrong. I had to see a whole other doctor to get a referral to the endocrinologist because she literally refused to refer me to one."
"The endocrinologist said, I had scarring all over my thyroid, I had Hashimoto’s, and my levels were horrible, and she didn’t know what the doctor was talking about. She said she was glad I advocated for myself."
"I was not the recipient of this 'advice' but I had a coworker proudly say how small her new grandchild was when they were born and that her daughter smoked her whole pregnancy to try and have a smaller baby. This was in like 2010, not the 1960s for reference."
"ETA: smoked cigarettes. clarified since that can mean more than one thing."
"Was sick for a year in my late teens. Saw multiple specialists to find the cause. Experimented with diet. Saw a naturopath that did some ‘electric pulse test’ thing that apparently gave indicators of organ health. After a few visits, and months of eating the weirdest sh*t, the test said things were improving (including my gallbladder). Months went on but I was still quite sick. I eventually ended up in hospital and one of my specialists decided to take my appendix out on a whim to see if it might help. Turns out I had something called a ‘grumbling appendix’ and it completely fixed me. Funny thing is, while they were in there, they discovered I was born without a gallbladder."
These are not appropriate remedies.
That's Not How That Works
"When I had an urinary tract infection someone told me to wash my vagina with vinegar..."
"And maybe add some diced onions and tomatoes to make a refreshing Mediterranean salad."
"Just push through whenever you're sick. If you can get to a doctor's office for a doctor's certificate you can get to school/college/work."
"My childhood pediatrician told my parents that 'A sick child never smiles.'”
"I tend to laugh/smile when I’m nervous or uncomfortable to self regulate."
"A doctor once told my parents that a child who isn’t crying can’t really be hurt. Because of that, it took me days to convince my parents to take me to the doctor after I fell on my arm because I wasn’t crying. It turns out it was broken."
"Ignoring" The Problem Isn't A Solution
"A friend of mine was in horrible pain, and was repeatedly told (by multiple doctors) that she should stop complaining and just get used to it because periods are painful and that’s the way it is."
"After being blown off for years, she finally got a doctor to take her pain seriously- and it turned out she had severe endometriosis. The surgeon said it was the worst case he had ever seen in his career, and was horrified that it had gotten so advanced with no one listening to her."
Choking On Blood
"The school nurse telling me to tilt my head back for a bloody nose. That was an awful experience."
"I do like doing this because when I cough up the blood I can pretend I’m in a period drama and I have tuberculosis."
These Redditors discovered that all pain is not necessarily "normal."
"Doctor said certain pain is normal as you get older. Turns out it was cancer."
"That's a fibrous strip of breast tissue, you're too young to have breast cancer."
"Delayed diagnosis by 6 months. I was 31."
Thinking Twice About Back Pain
"I got from a doctor, 'everyone has back pain. There’s nothing wrong with you, just use a heating pad.' It was kidney stones."
"Yikes, I am so sorry."
"I had a kinda similar experience. I went to the doctor for a morning appointment to get some persistent, worsening back pain checked out. Doc asked me where my back pain was, looked me in the eyes and told me I was fine and must have just slept wrong. He shut me down when I tried to advocate for myself."
"That night, I was admitted to the ER due to the crippling pain I was in. Turns out I had a serious kidney infection that was turning septic."
"One of the ER staff who helped me told me if I had waited another 24 hours, my kidneys would have shut down and I very likely would have died from organ failure?!"
"I’ve been dismissed by doctors over and over again in my personal health journey, and it is so frustrating and scary, as they’ve dismissed me for 'being dramatic' when there’s actually something very serious going on with my body."
Vitamin D Overdose
"If you have pale skin, get just a little sunburnt every day so that your skin will 'learn' to get a tan. That’s how everyone else does it."
"My Solar Keratosis skin cancers would beg to disagree."
As much as we want to believe our doctors when they give us a health assessment and assure us we're "fine," you should never ignore your inner voice telling you that something is not right.
Your conscience is there for a reason.
Even if a doctor tells you it's okay to ignore the problem, you should think twice about ignoring your gut feelings.