People Share The All-Time Funniest Examples Of Misheard Lyrics They've Ever Heard
It might be super easy to find the lyrics to a song now that we've all got the entirety of the internet in our pockets, but it didn't used to be so simple. Unless you owned the album, and it was one that actually came with the lyrics on the sleeve/in the case, you just kind of had to guess if the words were unclear.
This led to some extremely amusing, and sometimes mortifyingly embarrassing, misheard lyrics.
Redditor 23andrewb asked:
"What's the your favorite example of misheard lyrics?"
"Jimi Hendix Purple Haze: ''scuse me while I kiss this guy'"
"Roommate back in the day, who would have been about 18 in 1970, told me that Hendrix was aware of the alternate interpretation, and he would gesture at Noel Redding and say ''scuse me while I kiss this guy.'"
Bad Moon Rising
"CCR - bad mood rising 'There's a bathroom on the right.'"
"That's what I thought as a kid. Still say it now because it's funny."
What A Wonderful World
"I see skies of blue And clouds of white The bright blessed day The dogs say goodnight"
"I woke up my dog laughing at this one."
"Did the dog say good night?"
Why Is Everyone Singing About Lorain?
"I want to know, have you ever seen Lorain."
"I can see Clearly now, Lorain is gone!"
"And I wonder, still I wonder. Who'll stop Lorain."
"I can't stand Lorain, on my window..."
"As a child I used to sing 'I can see clearly now Lorraine has gone' and always wondered what poor Lorraine did that was so bad."
Gimme The Beach Boys
"Give me The Beach Boys and free my soul, I wanna get lost in your Rock and Roll…"
"Wait that’s not the actual lyric?"
"Hahah. Nope! Beat Boys"
Moves Like Jagger
"'remove my jacket' Instead of 'moves like jagger' Boy I felt dumb."
"Moobs like Jagger."
"I’ve got the moose vagina! I got that moose vagina! I got that moOose vagina"
"I guess it rains down in Africa?"
"I’m still somewhat embarrassed to say that I thought it was 'god bless the maids down in Africa'. Thought it was some sort of weird political statement."
"I wept the drains down in aaafrica isn't right then?"
"I always heard it as 'I miss the rains down in Africa' and thought that sounded so lovely and melancholic. I was so disappointed by the real lyric lmao"
Hit Me With Your Best Shot
"Hit me with a wet sock, FIRE AWAY!!!!!"
"Sweet dreams are made of cheese, who am i to disagree"
"Can't argue that!"
Applause ... or Applesauce?
"When I was 14 my dad was driving me to my boyfriends house. On the way over “Applause” by Lady Gaga came on & my dad sang 'I live for the applesauce applesauce applesauce.' I busted out laughing and mocking him."
"Laughed so hard he turned the car around and took me home."
"Regulate - Nate Dogg + Warren G. "I can't believe, they're taking Lawrence Welk".
"I used to hear this song and wonder 'Why is a smooth Gangsta like Warren G listening to Lawrence Welk, and why are these thugs stealing his Lawrence Welk records specifically?'"
"Then someone corrected me. 'They're taking Warren's wealth.'"
Here I Go Again
"Song: "Here I Go Again" by Whitesnake. Lyric: 'Like a drifter I was born to wear cologne'"
"My favorite misheard lyric is 'Hold me closer, Tony Danza' instead of 'Hold me closer, tiny dancer' by Elton John."
"Count the head lice on the highway."
Reelin' In The Years
"Steely Dan, instead of 'Are you reelin' in the years?', got 'Are you really into yeast?'"
"I always heard 'reelin' in the East' but like your version better, lol"
You Oughta Know
"'It's not fair, to deny me Of the crosseyed bear that you gave to me You, you, you oughta know' -Alanis Morissette"
"How could you take her crosseyed bear Dave Coulier"
Have you ever embarrassingly misheard the lyrics to a song? How long did it take for you to realize, or for someone to correct you? Let us know in the comments.
People Explain Which Discontinued Products They Wish Would Make A Comeback
Whether it's a favorite food or a favorite brand, we all have brands and styles that we prefer above others.
And while it may not be the worst thing to ever happen to us, it can be a real bummer when a favorite item is discontinued.
Redditor Seraphicly329 asked:
"What was discontinued, but you miss like h**l and you wish would come back?"
"I miss the days when TV stations were about what they claimed to be about..."
"MTV, History Channel, Discovery Channel, Science Channel, TLC (The Learning Channel), AMC (American Movie Classics), ABC Family Channel, A&E..."
"Video killed the radio star."
"Nope, bottom lines killed the video star."
"The $1 menu at every fast food joint."
"S**t, I remember when hamburgers at Mcdonald's were 39 cents (I think it was Tuesdays) and Cheeseburgers were 49 cents."
"We were treated on those days and felt like we ate like kings. It wasn't until later I realized 'those treat days' were specific because my parents were broke."
Those Were Something Else
"Pizza Hut lunch buffets."
"I must be old because I used to get together with my friends at Pizza Hut. A waitress would take your order, bring your drinks, then bring your food, and then you could play a Ms. PacMan game built into a table."
"That was the only pizza place we never started a food fight in because we didn't want to get banned for life again like we did at the other ones."
The Original Levi's Jeans
"Not discontinued, but Levi’s definitely changed how they made their jeans. They just don’t fit the same, and the materials feel very different."
"Cone Mills White Oak mill, where they sourced their denim for the 501s for over 100 years, shut down in 2019."
"Levis will never be the same. White Oak denim was the gold standard for a long time."
"Before that, they were sourcing denim offshore for other models and had moved to manufacture offshore many years before."
"You can still get the good stuff; but, you're going to pay..."
The Best Arcades
"Aladdin's Castle. It was an arcade in the local mall. I was heartbroken when they closed that place down. So many good memories as a kid in that place."
The Soup and Salad
"We used to have a chain of restaurants called Souper Salad. It was just a salad bar with three options of soup, but it was cheap and all you could eat. I took it for granted back then, and now I miss it so much."
'90s Kids Know
"90's Nickelodeon. 'Legends of the Hidden Temple,' 'Are You Afraid of the Dark,' 'Double Dare,' 'Pete & Pete.' Etc."
"I grew up on SNICK. I can hear the 'Are You Afraid Of The Dark' theme song in my head now."
"I had my first life-changing experience as a little kid at Nickelodeon Studios. We managed to get into the studio audience for a taping of 'Roundhouse,' and Melissa Joan Hart was two rows in front of me in-between tapings of 'Clarissa Explains It All.' I spent the entire three hours, just looking more at the back of her head instead of the actual taping of the show."
"My f**ked up nine-year-old self awkwardly walked up to her after the show since I was resolved to tell her I had a crush on her. Not sure what I was expecting to happen. I got as far as walking up to her, staring awkwardly, and then turning around and going back to my mom."
"Nope, still can’t laugh about it."
All the Closet Staples
"All my favorite tops that ever wore out. The fashion train just moves on regardless, you can never go back and just purchase the same awesome undyed linen blouse with the frog closures and Chinese collar. You have to start all over again no matter how much you hate shopping because walking around naked isn't an option."
"Jello Brand pudding pops. There is nothing else like it in the market, and anything that I have found doesn't taste the same. I just want my pudding pops back, dangit."
Those Five-Dollar Menu Items
"Five-dollar, Five-dollar footlongs."
"Also the time of Arby's and Taco Bell's '5 for 5."
The Best Hi-C
"Ecto Cooler. When it came back temporarily a few years ago, I got some but figured it would be crappy like most nostalgia-bait food and drink. It was glorious. So d**n tasty."
"It's unironically the best Hi-C and I am blown away that it wasn't brought back again for Afterlife's release."
We All Remember
"The Blue Raspberry Sour Skittle. They act like it never existed, but I know better."
"Physical items for music, video games, movies, etc. (this isn't actually discontinued yet but with the current trend it wouldn't surprise me if everything just moves completely to streaming in ~10 years)"
"Too many things are moving to digital where you don't actually own anything. All you have is a license to use the digital media. The last time I bought a physical game disc, the only thing it did was install Origin on my computer and provide a license key to download the game. My current car has built-in Spotify instead of a CD player."
"Maybe I'm becoming an old man ranting about change, but I'm concerned about how everything's become a monthly subscription service where the companies control what you have access to and can remove things whenever they want."
Oh, Those Snack Wraps
"McDonald’s snack wraps."
"And accompanying this, the Chicken Selects and the specialty sauces made 'just' for them, especially the Chipotle BBQ sauce. It was seriously some of the best BBQ sauce I've ever had. Smoky and quite spicy for something from McDonald's. It lasted, like, 10 years, then just poof, they decided to get rid of all of it. B**tards."
"iPod or any audio player that’s small, portable, and works offline."
From snacks to TV shows to favorite places to visit, these responses brought back some wonderful memories, especially for those who grew up in the '80s and '90s.
Like anything else, it's so easy to take advantage of something while we have it, only to miss it terribly when it's gone.
People Share Their First Thoughts When A Guy Refers To Himself As An 'Alpha Male'
Confidence is an admirable trait.
A person who is determined, knows exactly what they want, and goes for it despite unpopular opinion usually succeeds in achieving their goals.
But when it comes to friendships or romantic relationships, guys who exude too much self-assuredness and see themselves as superior can be a total turn-off.
Especially when they refer themselves as an alpha.
Curious to hear from strangers online, Redditor XqueezeMePlease asked:
"What are your immediate thoughts when you hear a guy refer to himself as an 'Alpha Male'?"
People shared their interpretations to hearing a guy declaring himself an alpha.
"Translation: 'I am going to be an unapologetic a**hole.'”
“I can’t take anything from him seriously from now on.”
"It's a real life cheat code to make your reputation go to 0%."
Being A Male
"try to explain to them how much of a bitch they really are for having to boost their self importance by telling others how great they are....instead of actually BEING great."
"i will never forget my father telling me 'being a male, does not mean your a man.'"
What is he really saying about himself?
"That he’s deeply insecure."
"Narrator: he wasn’t an alpha male."
The Thing About Actual Male Confidence
"The entire sub-culture around 'Alpha Males' is centered around men being insecure. And I say this from personal experience. In middle school, high school, and even early college I was a very insecure guy and I’d watch videos constantly on 'how to be an alpha' and it would only spiral into me hating myself more for not amounting to the standards of an 'alpha'.
"Confident, secure men wear what they want, do what they want, and are comfortable being themselves regardless of what society or its standards say. I mean take Harry Styles for example, that man can wear a dress, put on makeup, and be himself confidently AND he still is more of a man than any self-proclaimed 'alpha.'"
"Manliness and masculinity isn’t about looking like a lumberjack, drinking whiskey, and working out 24/7 (though it’s okay if you do any of these things because that’s what you genuinely enjoy), its about being confident in who you are as a man whatever that means for you. People fail to realize, if you are a man and you do something, anything, that in and of itself is inherently manly regardless of what society says."
"I’m so happy that I was able to come to these realizations and deal with the real underlying issues I had of low self-esteem but it’s so sad to see so many young men fall prey to “alpha” bs and base their entire existence on the concept of trying to be 'alpha' all because instead of talking through their feelings and mental health they let their insecurities dictate their life."
Measure Of A Man
"Small dick energy."
You want to stay away from these types of men.
"Translation: I’m extremely insecure and need to feel superior and also think woman are property."
Potential For Abuse
"My girlfriend has bruises she lies about"
"'Alpha Male' is just code for I think I can beat up most people around me so I want to be treated as special and not be forced to obey social niceties and laws."
"Like an alpha of a program or videogame, highly unstable and should not be available to the public."
Let's face it. No one using the phrase "alpha male" to describe themselves is going to be likable.
Unless you are desiring to be dominated by a superior alpha under erotic pretenses, you're better off keeping your inner circle exclusively without complete morons.
People Break Down The Dumbest Thing Someone's Ever Accused Them Of Without Any Evidence
When on trial for a crime, no matter how great or small, you are still innocent until proven guilty.
Sadly, when it comes to your friends, family, or bosses you may not be presumed innocent and might find yourself scolded for a missing piece of clothing or technology, forgetting to close a window, or any number of menial, inconsequential things.
In spite of the fact that you, in fact, didn't do it and there is absolutely no evidence to suggest that you did.
Nonetheless, whether their judgement is clouded by frustration, or they were simply looking for a reason to scold and yell at you, you still might find yourself at their wrath.
Even if you can't help but giggle at what you're being accused of.
"What’s the dumbest thing someone accused you of without any evidence?"
You Expect Me To Use This?!?!
"My mother-in-law accused me of buying a sh*tty brand of hair spray, leaving it in our guest bathroom for her to use, and trying to trick her into thinking it was hers."
"She actually brought it to our house the previous time she visited and left it behind. It was totally hers."- thecooley
He Must Have Run Quite The Distance...
"Throwing stones at her goats."
"I would not throw stones at goats, but she went to my mother’s house and accused me."
"She said she had just chased me off after I did it."
"My mother told her that, if that is what she saw, then she would punish me the moment that I got home, if she would like to wait."
"My mother supplied her with tea and biscuits and, later, a light snack."
"Offered her a stronger drink, too."
"After a long time, the goat lady asked if my mother had any idea what time I would be home."
“'Well, he has only been gone a week, so another two weeks, I imagine'.”
"My mother replied, as I went to a boarding school and stayed away for three weeks at a time."- PedantichristGoat Bleating GIFGiphy
Maybe She Planted A Bug?
"A college roommate reported me to the campus police for selling drugs."
"She stated that she was in our dorm room and overheard me selling drugs to another student in the laundry room."
"Our dorm room was on the 12th floor, laundry room was in the basement of the building."
"She got pissed when campus police laughed at her statement."- MissConduct0120
How Dare You Not Break The Law To Help Me!
"I once had a co-worker write to my manager to complain I was racist because I wouldn’t pirate a copy of Norton Utilities and give it to her."- Yorkie_Mom_2
Wrong Ex, maybe?
"One time I started getting a bunch of texts from an ex accusing me of being on a trip with some other girl and throwing all kinds of insults my way."
"Not only was she my ex and I was not talking to her or planning to reconcile, so that if I was in fact on a trip with some other girl it was none of her business, but I was actually literally sitting on my couch with my dog watching TV."
"I told her I hadn't the slightest idea of what she was yelling about and sent her a picture of me and my dog in my living room."
"She replied, "F*ck," and I didn't hear from her for weeks until the crazy ultimately outweighed any embarrassment she felt."
"To this day I have no idea why she thought I was on a trip in the first place, especially since her texts were pretty specific and she mentioned where she claimed I was and other details."- Tough_StretchWork From Home Dog GIFGiphy
Could Have Been Worse?
"I was accused of throwing a potato at a shed, totally not true."- bobbejaan79
They Were At Least Half Right...
"Insubordination for failing to report in to work for over a month."
"I resigned a month earlier."- Fifth_Wall0666·
Wrong Place At The Wrong Time
"I was in either first grade or kindergarten, and the chain link fence on the side of our playground had fallen over / caved in."
"Me and my friends looked at it and wondered how it happened."
"Then a teacher came by and yelled at us for breaking the fence and we all got put in time-out for the rest of recess."
"WE WERE 6, HOW WOULD WE MANGLE A CHAIN LINK FENCE WITH OUR HANDS?!"- Rabid_Chocobobuster keaton fence GIF by MauditGiphy
Some Might Consider This A Compliment...
"In High School, half the school thought I was Gay, and the other half thought I was a vegetarian."
"I'm neither, and I have no idea how the two related."- Group_of_no_one
When All You Were Doing Was Trying To Help...
"One day when I was in 5th grade a female collie followed me home from school."
"I walked around the neighborhood trying to find the owner, but nobody knew whose dog she was."
"I left my neighborhood and crossed a four lane."
"I carried her so she wouldn't get hit by a car (I didn't own a dog leash)."
"After knocking doors and asking around, I had to go home but she just kept following me."
"I picked her back up and carried her back across the four lane, put her down and we walked another block."
"Then the owner pulled up, stopped in the middle of the intersection, got out of his car, and called her."
"She ran to him, and hopped up in the car."
"I told him I'd been trying to find her owners for hours."
"The old bastard said, 'Yeah, someone saw you carrying her'," implying that I stole her."
"Then he plopped his fat a** back in his Cadillac and sped away."
"No good deed..."- TheC0zmoborder collie dog GIF by Rover.comGiphy
Punished For Being Poor
"Being a thief because I was a student."
"Money was going missing from the tills in the bar I worked at on some evening and weekends."
"Walked into work and got called out back with the manager."
"Was told money was missing and was suspended there and then."
"I asked when this money went missing and it wasn’t even when I was working!"
"I asked why I was the prime suspect and the managers wife pointed the finger at me because I was a student and therefore must have needed the money."
"About a week later the actual thief was caught red handed putting money from the till into his pocket by the manager."
"This was back the mid 90s so no cameras to view, which would have cleared it up straight away."
"Instead, they cast blame with evidence that actually proved it couldn’t have been me because the times the money went missing, I wasn’t even there, but hey ho."- idiBanashapan
Clearly, these hasty accusers must never have heard the saying "let he who is without sin cast the first stone".
Sadly, it's sometimes easier for people to just place blame as fast as they can.
Even if evidence and logic are not on their side.
Movies are meant to make us feel things.
What those things are is intimate to each individual.
Art shines a light on the here and now.
And no art or film is better at that than documentaries.
Thanks to the golden age of television we are inundated with documentaries.
They give us a glimpse into real life.
And real life... is horrible.
Some documentaries leave more nighrtmares than Michale Myers.
Redditor CoatedTrout4 wanted to discuss the documentaries that have made us feel uneasy, so they asked:
"What Are Some Disturbing Documentaries?"
I've been SHOOK by far too many documentaries.
But they are so important.
"The Trials of Gabriel Fernandez :( heartbreaking and so upsetting as the audience learns about how many opportunities this boy’s life could have been saved."
"Sixty complaints were filed against the abusers between 2005 and 2012. Sixty. F**king. Complaints. Teachers called social services. A family called social services. Police officers reported it to their Sheriffs, risking their jobs in the process. And yet nothing was done. It's unbelievable. I can't wrap my head around it."
Two of a Kind
"Tell Me Who I Am. It’s about two twins, one of whom lost his memory after an accident at 18. They unravel a dark secret that only one remembers. Worth a watch but really dark."
"It's crazy how you can look at both of them. The one with the memories looks so tired and worn in the eyes, the other doesn't have that same look. Then there's that moment you realize you were so wrong with your assumptions of the story."
"I know, it's really sad. It was nice to see that they otherwise seemed to have a great relationship. I can see how having those memories while your brother did not make you bitter."
"Abducted in Plain Sight is strange. Man is obsessed with a friend's young daughter, kidnaps and 'marries' her twice, somewhat with the parent's consent."
"I heard about it in a similar Reddit thread a few years ago. Available on Netflix."
"When the parents went to press charges and the ole boy said 'Press charges and I'll tell the press how I had sexual relations with both of you' so the parents DROPPED THE CHARGES because apparently - their reputation was more important than the well being of their daughter. What a bunch of bulls**t. That girl deserved so much better."
In the Wilderness
"Grizzly Man by Werner Herzog. It's about bear enthusiast Timothy Treadwell who went to live with Alaskan brown bears during the salmon spawning season. It's only slightly disturbing, but it is fascinating.
"I remember getting increasingly frustrated with this guy the more I watched this - especially when he would treat the other animals like pets, change the water flow after the rains, and basically give the middle finger to the park officials when they told him he had to move after so many days to you know... avoid potentially getting attacked/eaten."
"What was really interesting was how this guy's friends/family thought he was doing so much good, and everyone else who was interviewed said he was doing the opposite."
This is why I only sleep in at home and in real buildings.
"The Act of Killing is pretty wild."
"The Look of Silence. Family of the victims watching The Act of Killing and decide to meet the killers."
"I was a therapist for survivors of war trauma for years. This movie was fascinating and horrifying. I hadn’t spent a lot of time thinking about the torturers, just the tortured. But most humans are not equipped for hurting others. This knowledge is reassuring and mortifying."
"There isn’t a lot of free will to be exercised in a war. War is a meat grinder, it’s just disgusting every time. There is no justification good enough, no glory, there’s just the propaganda machine of war. We’re not meant to kill each other. How dare we ask others to kill for us, then bring home the survivors, call them heroes, but shame and silence them when they tell us how they suffered following the orders they were given."
Return to Sender
"Dear Zachary: A Letter to a Son About His Father is a devastatingly disquieting documentary."
"It's just so disturbing because the woman was so obviously unhinged, and she was continually allowed access to the child."
"Yep and as soon as I said this guy has a great friend, I hope his son appreciates what his friend is doing for him. I wonder where his son is now, then you get the bombshell, and I was pure seething rage at that moment."
No one knew...
"There’s Something Wrong with Aunt Diane."
"While I'm fairly certain that her husband and sister-in-law are mostly pushing the she had a medical issue, no one could have seen this coming narrative to reduce liability in the subsequent lawsuits, my major takeaway from this doc was just how many people have no idea that their loved one is an alcoholic."
"I'm an alcoholic, and for the majority of my active addiction, no one knew. I drank mugs of red wine first thing in the morning from the 4L box I kept by my bed. I did shots of whiskey before major presentations to keep myself loose. I can tell you with 100% certainty that if you met me during that decade, there was no way I was sober. I worked in finance and did client meetings/presentations eight hours a day, five days a week."
"And I was so incredibly drunk the whole time. No one knew, and I know this because when I got sober two years ago, multiple people who had spent significant amounts of time with me during my drunk years were shocked that I thought I had a problem - 'You only drink on weekends!' No, you only saw me drink on weekends."
"Alcoholics don't all wander the earth falling over, slurring, and pissing their pants. For some of us, we just get what we need to survive the day and make sure nothing can stop that from happening. Like letting pesky family members who could cut us off in on the secret."
"ETA: If you need support in figuring out your relationship with alcohol, r/stopdrinking is a great place to start asking questions."
"Tickled was pretty f**ked up."
"Cannot believe I had to scroll this far down to see this. This documentary is insane. It has such a simple premise, then it gets weird, then it gets weirder, then it gets downright scary, and by the end, you are made painfully aware of how easy it is to manipulate other people’s lives and their public perception if you have enough money."
Hell on Earth
"'Killing Fields,' the movie documenting the slaughter of millions of Cambodians at the hands of Pol Pot's people. Skulls, pelvises, and spines lying everywhere in the blood-filled ditches. The purest form of Hell on Earth."
"Late to the party here, but if you can find a copy of A Cambodian Odyssey by Dr. Haing Ngor, grab it with both hands and don’t let go."
"Dr. Ngor played Dan Prith in the movie, but he himself has the most amazing and tragic story of surviving the Khmer Rouge. Made it to America, won an Oscar… and was gunned down in LA. I treasure my copy of the book."
"The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia. Follows the White family who just completely neglects their kids, the parents, rampant drug and alcohol abuse, and attempted murder. It’s a sad look at the daily life of severely impoverished folks in stereotypical Appalachia."
SHOOKOh No Wow GIF by The Great British Bake OffGiphy
"Evil genius, is a true crime story of a pizza man who robs a bank with a bomb around his neck. He is a victim of some very disturbed people."
"I was shook by this one. I love documentaries and am rarely really affected by them, but this one did it. Just knowing that you are going to die and no one can help you. And we see it unfold in front of us… chilling."
Documentaries are too much.
I need fiction.