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Former Employees Admit What They Did To Customers To Get Themselves Fired

Former Employees Admit What They Did To Customers To Get Themselves Fired

Former Employees Admit What They Did To Customers To Get Themselves Fired

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If you've ever worked retail, you understand the nearly countless ways in which the idea that "the customer is always right" just doesn't work. Sure, as a concept the customer demand dictates what an establishment carries and some of it's policies... but that's not what we mean. As individuals, customers can be, and often are very, very wrong. Almost all retail workers have had that moment where they wanted to speak their mind, but they knew it could mean losing their job. For a glorious few, they did it anyway. One reddit user asked:

People who lost their jobs by going off on a customer, what is your story?

We gathered up our favorites that made us laugh, cry, cringe, and applaud. We didn't have the courage to go off on Chronic-Expired-Coupon-Lady when we worked at Ross that one Christmas, but we can live vicariously through these verbal victories.

Three Halves

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I used to work at pizza place in a small town when I was a teenager. One night I took a phone order from some idiot woman. It went like this:

Me: Thank you for calling "pizza place", may I take your order?

Customer: Yes, I'd like a large pizza. Half pepperoni, half sausage, and half black olives.

Me: Ok, did you want the toppings combined or separated?

Customer: No, I want half pepperoni, half sausage, and half black olives.

Me: _Ok so you want 1/3 pepperoni, 1/3 sausage, and 1/3 black olives?_

Customer: No! I want HALF PEPPERONI, HALF SAUSAGE, and HALF BLACK OLIVES!

Me: _I understand the toppings that you want, but I'm not understanding how you want us to put the toppings on your pizza. Do you want them separated by thirds? Combined together? Or do you mean put half the amount that we usually put on?_

Customer: What's so hard to understand?! I WANT...HALF...PEPPERONI...HALF...SAUSAGE...AND HALF...BLACK OLIVES!!!!!

Me: Lady, there's only 2 halves to a pizza!

Customer: I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER!!!

I got fired on the spot. It was easier for the manager to just hire another person than it was to lose a customer in a small town.

Oh, and the lady wanted the toppings divided into thirds. She told the manager the same thing and he just went with her math. She also got it for free.

Playing Mind Games

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Worked at Gamestop. Some guy came in and had over 100 used games to trade, all with games and cases mismatched. It took about 45 minutes to process his ticket. When I told him the total, it was low - because Gamestop, and also they were all old, scratched games. This man then proceeded to try negotiate with me to which I kept telling him I can't change the price which only made him angrier and louder. Eventually he yelled:

"Listen, I need at least $300 for all of this shit and you're going to give it to me!"

First of all, I don't even have the ability to change the price, at all. Second of all, my coworker proceeded to put all of his games in a bag, walk outside and tossed them into the parking lot.

Store manager came out of the back room and fired my coworker dead on the spot. The guy stormed out, and the second he left my manager said:

"Jesus what was his f*cking problem? Alright, get back to work."

My coworker didn't get fired; it was just theatrics. I felt like an idiot for just standing there, but it was taking everything I had to not hop the counter and hit the guy.

Thrift Shop

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A woman came into a charity/thrift shop and complained about every single item loudly to the other customers. She would say things along the lines of:

"This is all sh*t. Who pays for this?"

Like we're some boutique with clothes from the back of a van.

She clearly didn't understand how rarely new clothes with tags are donated. Then she got in my face about it. I was so angry with her for chasing away the other customers that I lost my cool. There was nobody left in the store except her. She'd annoyed them into leaving.

I told her to get out and I 'didn't give a sh*t' about the clothes or her opinions. She screams her way out of the shop broadcasting it to everyone on the street.

She came back once the manager was off their break and complained about me. I lost my job. I can't blame them, I'd have done the same.

Buffalo Wild Walkout

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Working at Buffalo Wild Wings, keep in mind New Year's Eve one of busiest nights of the year. Opening employees have be in by 8 AM to prep food and get the store ready. When they showed up, no manager is there to open the store. The two employees involved had walked to work and stood outside in cold for almost two hours when another shows up with a phone to call the general manager and ask what's going on.

Turns out the opening shift manager forgot they were suppose to open. So the General Manager shows up on her day off to let employees in. She stays until the scheduled manager shows up. Now, keep in mind everyone is nearly two hours behind on their opening duties. Mrs Late Manager shows up does nothing; she sits down to do her make-up! She then asked my friend to do her opening duties while she fixes herself up. He declined because he had his own work to do, and hey you know shouldn't been late and now your here do your own work.

About twenty minutes later after doing her makeup she then said she needs to fix her hair and again asks my friend to do her work at this point after standing in the cold for nearly two hours and rushing to get 3 hours or work into 1 hour because of her tardiness he snaps back:

"Why don't you do it yourself?"

She replies "Well do you just want to go home?"

He says "F*CK YES" and walks out.

General manager texted a bit later asking what happened and he said "She told me to go home so I did and I wont be back."

High Fives On The Way Out.

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Had a customer that, for at least a year, came into our store and was a master tactician in getting free goods by making up complaints against our staff. He would do all sorts of maneuvers like wanting products he knew we didn't carry, to making up complaints about our staff, to even complaining that he had been charged incorrectly.

If this guy was in the store, good luck if you were another customer. He would suck up all the oxygen in the place and demand service from multiple people at the same time. He got reduced prices and free merchandise and tons of coupons for his efforts.

My boss would never challenge this guy or protect his own staff from being exposed to losing their job to a customer who would happily see a member of our crew fired so he could get $5 off his next purchase. My boss wasn't entirely at fault since this was a giant corporation and he was merely towing the fabled "the customer is ALWAYS right" mantra.

I was already planning on leaving for a better opportunity and was going to give notice of resignation one week when this customer started giving me an incredibly difficult time about an issue I had nothing to do with and couldn't help him with. It was extremely busy and he was holding everyone up with his bullshit.

I made a quick value judgment, realized I was already out the door and the only thing I was still there to do was to honor my appropriate resignation notice. I had no designs of ever working for this horrible company or any company like it ever again. I found myself in a unique situation and wasn't going to let the opportunity pass. This guy had made life difficult for all of us for a long time.

Payback time.

I cut this guy off mid-sentence and just went off on him in front of a number of customers and part of our staff. I told him he was nothing more than a cheapskate grifter and told him I would no longer recognize him as a living, breathing, member of our species.

Then I told him to go f*ck himself. The look on his face was so goddamned beautiful. The entire store fell into silence and I just stared him down. He asked to speak to my manager and I doubled down by talking over his head, inviting the customer behind him to elbow up to the counter. I apologized to the new customer about the bad behavior of the guy who, at this point, had steam coming out of his ears.

Eventually when he realized he was getting nowhere waiting on me, he stormed off to find a manager. I finished my shift. I came back in the following day, was intercepted by a corporate manager I had rarely seen, taken upstairs and was getting lectured. I interrupted the scolding, revealed my intentions to leave this place, and quit right there.

I got a lot of high fives from the other members of the staff on my way out the door.

"Well Within Your Right" - Still Fired

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I cleaned cars for a rental car company. One day, a customer comes in, already in a very bad mood. He saw me standing at the counter, and apparently this offended him to the point that he began to yell at me.

Long story short, I yelled back at him. Nothing came of it for over two months, until I was fired without warning.

The district manager who fired me said that even though everyone in the company who reviewed all the evidence pertaining to the incident had decided I was well within my rights as an employee to yell at the dude, they had to fire me because he was some big shot at a company that had a very lucrative contract with my employer. He had threatened to drop the contract unless they fired me.

Gambling Your Job

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I worked in the rewards call center for a casino in my youth. People would call in an book rooms or show tickets with their reward points. Naturally, everyone calling for a free room wants it on a weekend or major holiday - and that just wasn't available.

A lady called to get a free night in the top end suite on Valentine's Day with two days notice. She lost her shit when I told her no. She kept saying she spends so much money and we don't even care enough to reward her loyalty; she even attacked me personally. I just couldn't do it anymore. I calmly explained to her that:

"I see you spend about $20 an hour in the casino, yeah we really don't care about you. You could never come back here again and literally no one would notice. You need to start betting more than your entire family will ever be worth before we actually start caring if you come back or not."

I obliged her request to speak with my supervisor and started packing my things.

3 Strikes Policy

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Working at Burger King many years ago. I was working the drive-thru register, which was close enough to the front registers that I could hear conversations. One of my co-workers was taking an order from a lady who kept asking how much her total was, and then cancelling food on it and changing her mind. I guess she was trying to keep under a certain dollar amount?

Well, at the Burger King I worked at, any cancelled food on an order needed a manager's password. So the manager had come by 3 or 4 times at that point. This was during dinnertime, mind you, so there was a line of customers out the door waiting to order.

Finally, my co-worker pulled out a pad of paper and a calculator. He started writing this woman's order down and totaling it out by hand. The woman asked him why he was doing that, and he told her "When you make up your mind about what you want, then I'll put it in the register."

This pissed off the lady, so she grabbed the notebook and tried to hit my co-worker with it. He snatched it back from her and told her "Get the f* out." My manager was only going to write him up for it (since the manager agreed that the lady absolutely deserved it) but my manager had to follow company policy and he already had two write-ups on file, so she had to fire him.

Fired For Refusing To Kill?

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Lost my position at a vet clinic.

Story goes like this: woman brought in her 5 year old dog that had diarrhea for the past week and had not been treated for it. She was tired of the dog messing in the house. So instead of having the dog treated for the condition, she decided she would rather just have the dog put down. She would rather see it die than to have a vet treat a simple case of the runs. I proceeded to call her a heartless b*tch while explaining to her the responsibilities that are involved when you decide you want to have a pet.

I was fired... I never looked back

Still Wrong

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I was working chat tech support for a web host. Customer chatted in complaining of slowness claiming our servers were having issues. I do all the standard steps and we determine that his ISP is having issues. He doesn't believe me and becomes obstinate. So I end the chat by saying:

_"You're wrong!" _

About 10 minutes later I get a new chat. I see the account name and the question. It was the same guy with the same question. Without letting him say anything I write:

_"You're still wrong." _

and close the chat.

Roll On

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I was blacklisted from sonic drive in for standing up for myself.

The store in Oak Hill was shut down and everyone fired because the manager was busted selling pot out of the trunk of his car. I was one of the "dream team" of hand picked sonic employees selected from around the city to bring the store back up to speed.

Our new manager had the initials "JT" and he was very proud of the fact that he comes from 5-star fine dining restaurant manager, and this was his first fast food experience. He was strict and that is ok, we were expected to be perfect. But he had a temper. One day he comes in squealing his tires and as soon as he hits the front door, he's screaming and cussing. I'm trying to take orders while releasing the talk button as he''s cussing employees, like reverse censoring. When I finish taking the order and turn around to see what is the issue, I notice the other car hop run to the back crying. He turns to me and says:

"And YOU, you little s*"

... so this guy is 5'-4" and I'm 6' and in roller skates... I rollover to him and stop a bare inch away and in a strong, clear voice I say:

_"Excuse me, SIR! I am a human being and when you speak to me it will be with decency and respect, do you understand?!" _

To which he replied:

_"Give me your apron" _

So I walk out and go directly to home office and talk to one of the executives, son of the owner, and relate how I love my job, I had worked for 9 different Sonics, won multiple awards, over the last decade and had been invited to VIP movie premiers, and was featured in the news with his father - the owner. I tell them I can no longer work with "JT" for creating a hostile work environment and asked to be reassigned back to MY store where I had been working. I was told he would call.

So he called. Turns out, JT had sold his restaurant as part of a messy divorce and invested several million dollars into the Austin Sonics Association of Franchise Owners, becoming full partner and part owner of almost every Sonic in the city. And he had me black listed.

I can no longer work for Sonic. I tried again to get a job several years later, but I was told they couldn't hire me still.

"You F*cked With The Wrong Clown!"

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My first job was when I was 12 for a flower shop in town. They used to hire a kid to wear a clown costume and wear a sign that said "Roses 9.99/dozen."

All the job entailed was walking back and forth along a 20 foot strip of the sidewalk and wave at cars. Paid 30 bucks per 2 hour shift with cash at the end of every shift. It was awesome. Didn't work too hard and was allowed to listen to my music while I worked. Some people were really nice and occasionally would stop and ask if they could buy me a soda or something from the convenience store beside the flower shop because it was so hot. Other people were pricks who threw things at me from their car.

Anyway, one normal Saturday morning about 15 minutes before my shift was over, my dad pulls in to the parking lot to wait for me to finish up. A couple minutes later, some kid about my own age, maybe a little older, walking down the sidewalk spits in my face as he's walking past. That pissed me off to no degree. Like throw sh*t at me, whatever, but spitting in my face was fucking gross and I had enough.

*This clown snapped. *

I ripped off my sandwich board and kick the guys legs out from under him. Jump in to my best MMA mount and start raining fists and elbows as if I'm going for the clown college bantamweight championship. He's yelling and bleeding and I just keep hammering in to him and screaming that he f*cked with the wrong clown! My dad runs up and pulls me off of him and carries me in to the flower shop.

I was promptly fired. My dad took me for ice cream because he said nobody deserves to be treated like that, I did what he would have done and it was the funniest thing he's ever seen.

Busting More Than Blocks

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I was working at Blockbuster while 17 and in high school. A middle aged guy came in and instead of using the drop slot to return his movie he casually tossed it across the counter and it hit a register hard enough to pop the case open. The people working the registers, myself included, kept an eye on him because our store was a hot spot for kids to come in without adult supervision to mess things up.

He chose a few movies, and walked up to the front of my line and waited for me to help him. I got his information up on screen and let him know we couldn't rent the movies he wanted unless he paid his late fee of $6. He flew off the handle, reached over the counter and grabbed my shirt threatening to have me fired. I punched him in the face trying to protect myself and chased him out into the parking lot.

When I came back in my manager took me into the back room, let me clean myself up and told me they had a zero tolerance policy for altercations in the store and fired me. On my way out there were customers that actually shook my hand and told me they would've done the same thing. That job was s* anyways so I was glad to be gone from there.

Got Hit By A Car, Still Got Fired

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Many a year ago I worked at a home improvement store called Menard's. I was a cart pusher, which was nice as I was outside all the time. Anyway we gather about 25-30 shopping carts together and push them up to the entrance where they are stored inside. Now to get them there we do have to cross the main drive of the parking lot in front of the store. We always stop and let customers drive by.

So as I push the carts up I stop because I see a guy in an pretty nice SUV. He is actually stopped in front of the entrance maybe he dropped someone off I do not know. So I'm waiting to see if he drives off and he then looks at me and waves me across, looks like he wanted to finish a call he had gotten or something. So I wave back and start pushing the carts across. I am on the other side when some clips me across the shoulder blades and it stung somewhat and pushed me forward.

And at the same time I heard glass shatter, I turn around and the guy in the SUV clipped me with his side view mirror. It had swung closed and shattered the window in the door, and I'm just standing there wide eyed. 2 seconds later the guy gets out of his car swearing up a storm at me and how I'm a low life piece of s* and how I'm going to pay for a new window and that I'm not going to get anywhere in life because I broke his window.

Now I'm the type of person that if I was the reason I'll take the blame and fix the problem. But this guy hit me, I blew up on him for about 5 minutes before a manager finally had the guts to come over and pull me away. I didn't have to pay for a new window as it was on video, but I lost my job because we are not suppose to yell and cuss at the customer.

A Cutting Exchange

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I used to cut hair. I was cutting a lady's hair when the child of lady waiting started running around the shop. I told the child several times to go sit with her mother and asked her mother to please keep her child seated next to her. Well, in the middle of cutting around my client's ear, the child ran into my work area, ran into me and almost caused me to cut my client. I looked at the child and firmly said "you need to go sit down with your mother now." Well her mom didn't like that and came running back to me and yelled:

"Don't tell my child what to do, I'm her parent."

I responded with:

"Then act like it."

She glared at me, grabbed her child and stormed out. Everyone in the shop was relieved the child had left. A few days later the owner came and tried to fire me for it, but luckily there were enough other stylists and clients that came to my defense about the danger of the situation and I only got a write up.

"I Miss Working There."

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I worked at a furniture store as a sales associate. One day a husband and wife come in wanting to furnish their sons apartment that's going to college. They find all of the furniture pieces they want and I go to check stock on multiple items. Everything is in except the table top on the dining room set they wanted. I go back and tell the couple.

The husband throws an absolute hissy fit saying that he can't believe that we don't keep our products stocked (keep in mind that we are a huge furniture store). I calmly explain to him that we can't possibly keep all of our product in stock at all times and since the dining room table he wanted was a very popular set, it tended to go out of stock rather quickly. So, we would have to wait for that vendor to send us the table top which was about two weeks. I even tried to show them another table top that was in stock that was very similar to the one they picked out and he would not have it.

He started telling me that I was incompetent and how dare I insult him. He starts increasing his volume and now he is full out screaming at me about 10 inches away from my face. My manager walks from around the corner and looks at me questioningly (like the "do you got this?" face) I nodded at him that I had it, but he continued to stand within earshot. I then looked back to the customer and said in a nonchalant tone:

"I'm not going to help you, in fact no one here is going to help you. Now please get out of my store."

The customer looks at me bewildered and in full rage and demands to speak with my manager. Since my manager is standing right around the corner- he had heard everything. He goes over to the customer and says, "Well, you heard the lady." and asked the customer to leave.

I miss working there.

The People's Car

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Back around 1969, I saw a service advisor at a VW dealership get fired for telling an irate customer "If you can't take a joke, you shouldn't have bought a Volkswagen."

The Smartest Place On Earth

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Disneyland. I worked in the ticket booths. If you're an annual pass holder, and you're on the monthly contract, Disney takes automatic payments from your credit card. If your card expires or otherwise has to be changed, and you don't call to put a new card on file, the auto-payments stop and your pass freezes. No big deal; Disney doesn't hit you with fees or penalties. You simply call or come to the booth, and we handle it right then and there -- zippety-doo-dah, and in you go.

One day, I get a middle-aged couple whose passes froze. The man was upset, and ready to talk about it. A common question from guests is "Don't you send out late notices?" No, Disney doesn't because they're not practical - and again, there are no penalties anyway. Just come see us and we'll straighten you out. The man says to me in a disgusted tone, "You don't send notices when a pass freezes? How does that work?"

I said, "Well, you receive your credit card statement, you see that a recurring charge is not present on it, and you can expect the service related to the recurring charge to be interrupted, and that it must be related to your card having been replaced recently."

The wife smiled, the man's face reddened, and he leaned in and barked, _"Get your supervisor. I want to talk to somebody smart."

_To my shame, I said, _"Of course. Would you like someone smart enough to stay aware of their credit card use, or merely smart enough to read contracts they sign?"_

My booth lead happened to come over as soon as she heard "supervisor," so she was standing behind me when I said the emotional thing. It isn't how I wanted to go out (I was five days away from leaving for a new job), but I looked at it as a vicariously cathartic mic drop goodbye to my fellow cast members.

For them, it was a thrill.

H/T: Reddit

Infamous Internet Rumors That Ended Up Being True

Reddit user strakerak asked: 'What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?'

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Photo by Ludovic Toinel on Unsplash

In 2017, I returned to my office after my lunch break to hear my supervisors discussing Tom Petty. This seemed like a random topic to me until one of my supervisors told me Tom Petty had passed away. He was a huge fan of Petty and spent the next hour or so combing through the internet to get more information.

He came back into the room my other supervisor and I were working in and announced that Tom Petty wasn't dead after all. News outlets had jumped the gun to announce his death, but he was actually still alive.

The next day, I came in to find out that Tom Petty was dead; the news may have been premature, but true.

This is a classic example of the rumor being started on the internet. Sometimes, like with the news of Tom Petty's death, the rumor can run wild and appear everywhere. Other times, the rumor can be seen by just a few people and dismissed. However, a lot of times, these rumors turn out to be true.

Redditors know a lot of internet rumors that turned out to be true, and are eager to share.

It all started when Redditor strakerak asked:

"What started out as an internet rumor that ended up being infamously true?"

The King Of Pop

"Michael Jackson writing the music for Sonic 3."

"He actually did, but was never credited on the game because it would breach his contract with his record label."

– -WigglyLine-

"He did the same when he appeared on The Simpsons. He appeared under a pseudonym, and the Producers said it was an impersonator."

"Only years later they confirmed it really was Michael."

"His singing voice was actually done by an impersonator, though."

– given2fly_

The Truth Comes Out

"In 1998, US Men’s National Team captain John Harkes was shockingly cut from the team right before the World Cup. The coach claimed it was because Harkes wouldn’t fit into his new preferred formation, but rumors flew on the early internet that it was actually because he had slept with his teammate Eric Wynalda’s wife. The rumor was so well-known in soccer circles that Harkes expressly denied it in his autobiography the next year."

"Fast forward 12 years to 2010 and Wynalda admits it’s true. The coach then came out and admitted it was why he dropped Harkes, but that he’d planned to keep the secret as long as Wynalda did."

– guyfromsoccer

Video Evidence

"The Tim Burton Hansel and Gretel that aired once on halloween in the 80's."

"I heard for years that it was fake but I knew it was real because my dad recorded everything in the 80s and he recorded that. We let a good friend of ours borrow it and switch it over from VHS to DVD and soon after that it made its way on to the internet , and there it is now. I know it's our copy because the tracking in the beginning is screwed up. Still have the VHS."

– Frozenthickness

"There was a similar story with a Nickelodeon movie called Cry Baby Lane. It was supposed to be so scary that Nickelodeon got complaints and denied its existence for years. Someone uploaded a taped copy to youtube about a decade ago."

– PattiAllen

The Movie Business

"That North Korea hacked Sony Pictures because of The Interview movie."

"I worked in the movie business at the time and the account managers at Sony all basically needed to get new identities as all of their personal information got leaked online."

OldMastodon5363

"My partner worked on that movie and the production bought all the crew 1 year of an identity theft tracking service."

CMV_Viremia

Keep Away From The Ears Of Kids

"Some banned episodes or scenes of cartoons."

"For example, I remember there was a Dexter’s Lab cartoon where he clones evil versions of DeDe and himself and they swear like every other word (censored of course), and people debated whether it even existed cause they only aired it like once. Now it’s pretty accessible online."

– Spledidlife

Yes, It's True

"Echelon, a massive electronic espionage system by the US and allies to intercept all electronic messages, especially emails."

"In the mid-nineties it was a topic on conspiracy BBS boards. A lot of people in my bubble at the time (mainly uni students in Europe) were including fake threats to the US in the their email signatures as a way to "protest" and "fill the system with false alarms" (obviously useless)."

"Then, in 1999-2000 came out to be true and a lot of security service agencies from UK and other US allies started to admit they were part of the espionage network."

– latflickr

How The Mighty Fell

"John Edward’s love child."

– ACam574

"A reminder that he was cheating on his wife while she was hospitalized for cancer treatment."

– Fanclock314

Ugh...

"Carrie Fisher's heart attack. Some a**hole who was on the same flight was livetweeting the whole medical emergency and justified it by insisting she was just making sure the family was informed."

– everylastlight

It Actually Happened

"Every year around her birthday there was a rumor that Betty White died. When I heard she died, I scoffed, saying that dumb rumor is back.... then saw it on the news. I was in shock."

– Known-Committee8679

"The fact that Betty died literally right before she turned 100 is such a Betty White way to go out."

– Paganigsegg

Big Actor, Small Roles

"I distinctly remember some rumors about the reason why Bruce Willis was taking so many roles in sh*tty movies before it was announced he has dementia."

– KampferMann

"RedLetterMedia did a deep dive on his recent movie activity to try and work out why exactly he was taking part in basically scam-movies. They noticed he had an earpiece in one of the scenes and joked that the director was feeding him lines. I remember they even disclaimed over the rumours at the time, and possible made a follow-up vid when it was revealed to the public."

– CardinalCreepia

What To Do Next?

"That the writer of LOST were making it up as they went."

"Turned out to be absolutely true."

– homarjr

That last one was kind of obvious!

Do you have any to add? Let us know in the comment below.

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Photo by Jay Lamm on Unsplash

Whether you're naturally interested in fun facts and trivia or not, it's always nice to know a few that you can pull out of your pocket at a moment's notice as a nice conversation starter.

But there are some fun facts out there that are so weird, people become more preoccupied with how the teller found out that information rather than the information itself.

Redditor Dry_Bus_935 asked:

"What is your 'don't ask me how I know' random fact?"

Nuclear Fail Safe

"You have quite a lot of time, certainly more than ten seconds, to turn back on the main pumps of a nuclear reactor once you have accidentally turned them off."

- egorf

"I'm not surprised. The amount of fail safes, redundancies, and emergency scenario planning for nuclear power plants is insane."

"I toured a nuclear plant and wrote my high school senior thesis on the plans put in place to ensure the Fukushima disaster would not happen at that plant."

"I'm sure the secondary pumps are plenty capable of handling the reactor until the main pumps are repaired or just turned back on."

- Borderlandsman

Happy Cat

"If your cat chews on fresh eucalyptus, they might start hallucinating and fall over repeatedly, leading to a $400 emergency vet bill just to be told she’s just kinda high."

- oddidealstronghold

"And, that's part of why koalas love it. Little stoners."

- littlebluefoxy

Archaeology: Do Not Lick

"Old human bones are very porous, so if you lick them, they’ll stick to your tongue."

- clanculcarius

Sharing is Caring

"A pigeon will only eat a Starburst if you chew it up a little bit first. Just to clarify: chew the Starburst, not the pigeon."

- OhTheHueManatee

"Instructions unclear. Pigeon unhappy."

- Wild-Lychee-3312

Intriguing Anatomy

"Everyone is here with the creepy crime stuff, and I'm just like, 'A soft fur rat has 22 nipples.'"

- horroscoblue

"Okay, so either they have really small nipples, their nipples overlap, or they have nipples in places where there shouldn't be nipples."

"(I've never written the word 'nipples' so many times in a singular sentence before.)"

- GdeGraaf

'Don't Ask Me,' Indeed!

"Turmeric can be used as clothes dye. It is capable of permanently dyeing cotton cloth even after it has passed through the digestive tract of an adult male."

- SlefeMcDichael

"You s**t your pants, didn't you?"

- PMmecrossstitch

"I'd prefer not to answer that question."

- SlefeMcDichael

High-Risk Survival Skills

"If you ever trying to survive in the Arctic, don’t eat polar bear liver. It is so high in vitamin A, it will kill you."

- WrongWayCorrigan-361

"It's also surrounded by a lethal amount of angry polar bear."

- horanc2

Real-Life Spies

"TV shows and movies go out of their way to make military/intelligence officers look bada**."

"But real-life 'spies,' by design and training, are boring. They have regular houses and standard second-hand cars, they dress down, and they have vague, boring job titles (accounts receivable) as cover, and they do not draw attention to themselves. Most come from specialized academia."

- Ok_Worth_1093

Haunting Reality

"Your muscles can keep twitching for several hours after you die."

- JustDave62

"Also, beards can appear to grow. This is however not because the beard itself grows but because the skin shrinks."

- RRautamaa

"I worked at a morgue for over eight years. If you grasp the hand of a dead body to move the arm, the hand will grasp back, but that's just muscles and tendons reacting to the tension."

- goneferalinid

The Sneakiness of Drowning

"When a drowning victim is revived, get them to a hospital as soon as possible. Drowning is the leading cause of death of kids from the age of one to seven and is ruled as accidental drowning when it comes to secondary drowning or dry drowning."

"Basically, your lungs are full of water despite being revived. Your lungs will absorb the liquid, but not before your body acidifies from high levels of carbon dioxide. The only chance to survive is to have the lungs pumped with oxygen via CPAP machine and time."

"Also, drowning is extremely quiet. You don’t hear the victim go under. And if you see flailing, do not attempt to save the victim otherwise you’ll become another drowning victim. Throw them a lifeline and hope their amygdala realizes that a rope or something is floating near them and grabs on it."

- Dfiggsmeister

Not Everyone's Favorite Chocolate

"Hershey’s chocolate has the strong smell of vomit or feces to some people (me), and that’s because they use butyric acid as a preservative. Butyric acid is the compound that makes vomit smell so bad."

"Edit: Digging further into it, there are some claims that they may not be “adding” the butyric acid, but rather it is occurring from essentially spoiling the milk in their milk chocolate. Either way, the butyric acid and putrid smell remains a part of their product."

- hefewiseman1

"That explains the weird aftertaste I always get! I don’t smell it but their chocolate always has this super unpleasant sharp/acidic aftertaste that I find repulsive. I assume this is why!!"

- PomegranateNo975

Do Not Lick the Asbestos

"Asbestos tastes like chalk. And if you lick it, it has the texture of extremely gritty sandpaper. Which is actually the feeling of microscopic asbestos needles piercing your flesh!"

- TooYoungToBeThisOld1

Mapping Out the War

"Beginning in 1911 in anticipation of the outbreak of WW1 in 1914, two statesmen, one from England and one from France, began visiting locations in France that they believed would be the settings for a number of major battles that would occur during the great war."

"Long bike rides through these future battle zones in the countryside and weeks spent building a foundation for a French-Anglo codebook that would later prove important in helping win the war."

- fjordperfect123

Avoiding Lawsuits > Protecting Patients

"Doctors, or surgeons more specifically, that make too many mistakes during surgery, ie, leaving instruments in patients, frequently gets ‘quietly traded’ to other hospitals where they continue their path of destruction with the patients not being aware of their past record. Hospitals tend to keep quiet about the matter to avoid lawsuits."

- Kittytigris

Bonus Points: Do This While Having Lunch in Your Car

"If you overfill a fast food gravy cup and then put a lid on, it will create a pressurized gravy stream that sprays all over your face and uniform while your coworker looks on in horror."

- thechaosjester776

This subReddit thread was so a roller-coaster of random facts, we've surely all walked away learning something.

But the biggest takeaway might just be: Maybe don't lick so many things.

Shocked woman covering her mouth
vaitheeswaran Nataraj/Unsplash

When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.

But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.

Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.

It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.

Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:

"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"

These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.

Bleeding Out

"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."

"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."

– DongLaiCha

Tragic News

"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."

– accountnameredacted

Bottom Of The Barrel

"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."

– Crotch-Monster

A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.

Like Father, Like Son

"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."

– psycospaz

Busted

"Flashing blue lights."

– FiddleOfGold

"This sobered me up just thinking about it."

– redmaple_syrup

Losing Sight

"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."

– MissHibernia

Quitting The Bottle

"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."

– omgtater

These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.

Unplanned House Guests

"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."

– Oneinsevenbillion75

Serious Health Warning

"Elevated liver enzymes."

"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."

"So I opted for recovery, instead."

"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."

– Far_Meal8674

The Joyride

"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."

– foxfood9116

The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?

How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.

But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.

Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.

Woman holding multiple shopping bags
Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.

Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.

These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.

From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.

Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:

"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"

"Tale As Old As Time..."

"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","

"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."

"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."

"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."

"Lol!"

"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom

"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."

"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."

"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."

"I think he was a germaphobe."

"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."

"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."

"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.

"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."

"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."

"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000

Money Burn GIF by nog Giphy

Who Wore It Better?

"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."

"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."

"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."

"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'

"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"

"No."- mertsey627

Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...

"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."

"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."

"It was very low key."

"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."

"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."

"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."

"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."

"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa

south park wedding GIF Giphy

See You In Court!

"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."

'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."

"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."

"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."

"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."

"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin

It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!

"I work in a public library."

"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."

"A popular book that just came out."

"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."

"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten

A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!

"My own."

"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"

"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."

"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"

"Unacceptable!"

"This shall not stand!"

"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."

"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."

"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."

"I got over it."- DeathGrover

homer simpson episode 23 GIF Giphy

Holy Matrimony!

"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."

"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."

"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."

"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."

"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."

"It's just a party."

"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree

When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...

"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore

In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...

"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."

"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."

"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."

"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."

"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."

"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."

"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."

"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."

"We don’t offer wrapping services."

"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."

'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae

Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso Giphy

Happiest Place On Earth!

"I used to work for Disney."

"That in itself should tell you everything."

"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."

"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."

"Suddenly got worse huh?"

"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."

"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."

"I'm not kidding."

"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."

"My wife worked booking."

"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."

"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."

"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."

"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."

"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."

"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong

Disney World GIF Giphy

The horror!

Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!

It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...

Said absolutely no one.