Don Arnold/WireImage / Reddit
Most Harry Potter fans spend their time thinking and talking about the characters, the storyline, that one friend they have that they just know is a Hufflepuff, etc. Others, though, prefer to take their Harry Potter talks in another direction. Those fans are into talking about the psychology, the anthropology, the politics... what the Harry Potter universe could mean. That's where one Reddit user came into play when they asked:
What are some of the more horrifying implications of the Harry Potter universe? Be warned, the answers went dark almost immediately and are not for the faint-of-heart or children.
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1. Soul-crushing... literally.
They have confirmed, empirical evidence for the existence of souls
The general public is perfectly OK with the destruction of the soul as a form of punishment
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2. Maybe Muggles Were Slaughtered As Cattle?
Avada Kedavra = Abra Kadabra
The only spell that exists for the one purpose of killing, is also the spell that's deeply ingrained in Muggle culture. Which means that the Killing Curse was used enough around Muggles that its butchered pronunciation is used as a general "magic" sounding phrase.
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3. Ohhh That's Creepy McGross
Two words.
Polyjuice prostitutes.
You know that girl you've got a crush on? Just find a single hair and some polyjuice potion and voila! Have a prostitute drink some polyjuice for an hour of fun with anyone. And you know there is a black market for that shit. Lockhart probably sells a few clippings a day for a thousand galleons a pop
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5. Nope, We Didn't Want To Think About That.
The sheer number of times poor Peter Pettigrew had to watch young Ron wank.
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6. Well That Killed Our Buzz
That their world is dying.
Think about it. All of the great magicians are dead and ancient. Time Turners? Nobody knows how to make those anymore. A powerful magic who's methods have been lost to time. The Deathly Hallows, three items that turn well known laws of even magical physics on their heads, cannot be recreated using modern means. The three brothers were probably intelligent and powerful to create them, yet modern wizards find the idea so outlandish they consider them a fairy tale. There are even old magics, like the The Arch in the ministry, that nobody even knows what they are anymore. What purpose they may have served.
The pure blood lines are crumbling, falling back on old money and old blood to prop up their nobility. The segregation and racism deepen the gulfs and serve only to ensure that their world sinks deeper into disrepair. Wars flicker off and on, magic guarded jealously, and even among magical people there are those born without the spark. Squibs.
Certainly there are powerful wizards. Dumbledore was put forward as an example of such. But bear in mind that he also used the Elder Wand and still was no match for Voldemort. The creator of the Sorcerer's Stone, Nicolas Flemel, opted to let the secret of its creation die with him. And maybe it's that mentality of wizards, to jealously guard their secrets, that have led to a world that is slowly dying around them.
Edit: In addition they are stagnant. They don't know how to grow. As a society they don't know how to advance. For the most obvious example let's look at Snape and Potions.
Snape was a school child, around Harry's age, yet he was a prodigy. He made vast and sweeping improvements to the art of potions and tried his hand at inventing spells. He was a remarkable young person who was revolutionizing the way that Potions are made and the methods used. He was improving on methods that could have conceiveably been in place for hundred of years.
Fast forward all those years. Snape is now Potions Master at the top school in the world. He has political clout and is close with Dumbledore. It has been decades since he was a child and he has likely turned the art of Potion Making into something unrecognizable from what it was only a short few decades previous. Surely the children are learning the Snape Method right?
Wrong.
The children are still learning the same old methods from the same old textbooks. And Snape is forced to teach those same old inferior methods because that's the way it's done.
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7. Would Accio O-Zone Layer Work?
Magic is a clean, renewable source of energy. We could end pollution, oil dependence, etc.
But screw us muggles. Wizards are too busy playing broom ball to end global warming.
- Gnujack
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8. Molly Weasley The Secret Savage
Molly Weasley is unique among the protagonist characters in that she dueled to kill, not to capture or incapacitate.
Sure, fred's death and ginny's near miss probably pushed her over the edge, but that distinction is important to make.
Molly Weasley may look at all cheerful and plump, but she will f*cking end you.
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9. Well this just became a YA novel
Its something that is not talked about or even heavily implied since is a childrens series BUT my god underage sex must have run rampart there I mean teenagers jailed in close proximity 24 hours a day with the opposite sex, all those wonderful empty classrooms laying around?, and the wonderful sense of discovery to know what is behind the robe? Man that was some crazy *rgy going on in the boys room after the Quidditch games and the house cup!
- Pinipf
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10. Poor Weasleys
How does their economy work? Why are the Weasleys "poor" if they could theoretically just make things appear out of thin air or change into other things?
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11. Ending Drought Could Be Easy
That Aquamenti creates water out of nothing.
Think of all the people dying of thirst in the world are only dying because a wizard can't be bothered to create some water.
I won't get into the fact that the wizard could then become a de-facto ruler of said nation by controlling the water source for the country afterward.
- Ellistan
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12. It's Not That He Couldn't...
I've thought about this a lot....I mean c'mon I'm pretty sure there was a lamp in that flashback, babies aren't hard to murder
I've decided it was the principal of the matter. He could have just murdered the shit out of him (I mean he was a baby, what could he do poop on The Dark Lord? Drool a bit?) But what kind of crap could be spread if it was found out that the Dark Lord, the most powerful wizard in history, didn't trust his own magic enough to do the job. It would have been too muggle, and not enough dark evil wizard if he had just punted him across the yard and screamed "AND THE FIELD GOAL IS GOOD"
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13. Like An Evil Cage Match?
Its implied in some comments that wizards are a dying breed.
Those who use horcruxes are utilizing dark magic and don't die until their horcrux(es) are destroyed.
When all wizards (and potentially humans) die out, nobody is left except those with horcruxes. Ultimate evil showdown.
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15. Is The Human Government Holding Wizards Hostage For Weapon Use?
There is some serious conspiracy shit going on in the Harry Potter universe. How does a society, outnumbered outnumbered by a margin of 1000 to 1 not know ANYTHING about the society they are hiding in? Wizards don't know how muggles dress, they don't know anything about muggle weapons or muggle technology in general. How is it that only 2, underpaid, overworked men compose the entire ministry's concern with muggles? The ministry, as far as I can tell has the primary duties of A) Keeping wizarding society secret and B) Keeping the wizards from getting too bored (seriously, who makes a teenager have to fight a dragon with a magically binding contract? They seriously couldn't have written in a "Contestants can bow out whenever they feel like clause?")
The currency system seems designed from the ground up to be absolutely confusing, and it isn't at all compatible with muggle money, which for some reason no wizard understands despite it being significantly more simple. Compounding on that, the whole banking system is run by one race of tiny, greedy, hateful monsters who everyone hates. It all just smacks of a system designed to keep wizards happy, complacent and ignorant to me, which is why one charismatic psychotic was able to do as much as he did.
But I'm getting ahead of myself. Everyone in the wizard community seems to assume that everyone, muggle born to full blood wizard, will be loyal to the wizard community and its never really answered "why?" And I have absolutely no good answer for this. I've yet to hear one. The muggles, at least at high levels are aware of the wizarding community. I cannot believe, for a single moment, that the government wouldn't immediately start trying to gather as much information as possible on wizards from the moment they learned of them. I would even say that they would recruit wizards, most likely muggle born, but a big enough payoff would get some wizard in their pocket.
The only logical conclusion I can find is that the Government has, at a minimum, spies in the Ministry, and possibly a number of wizards actively on its payroll doing work for the Government. So now that the government has its agents its starts learning all about wizards. The government becomes worried about one spell in particular. Death is easy for muggles. Guns, chemicals, nukes, weaponized pathogens. The avada kedavra curse is considered rather quaint. A very efficient and human way of doing things. The cruciatus curse is more horrifying but torture is pretty old school. No one needs magic for that either. But the imperius? That curse is a fucking game changer. Holy shit. On low level scale it can be used to make people do any number of horrible things. But say a prime minister is controlled? All of a sudden, someone can, from a huge distance invisibly get that person to fire nukes at whoever they like? That is not the sort of serious existential threat a country's leader just leaves lying around.
The more I think about that curse the more horrifying it becomes. Imperiused people aren't puppets. They are magically enhanced slaves. They retain all their knowledge and can act perfectly normal, and gain physical skills they don't normally have(see Neville Longbottom doing acrobatics in book 3). It also works on animals. An army of bears anyone? And then you we have the fact that imperiused people can imperius in turn. Even if there were evidence that there was a limit to how many people a single person could control simultaneously, it could be gotten around by just performing a giant pyramid scheme of mind control. Resistance is a joke btw. Harry's DADA class had what? 30 students? Harry was the only one who showed any native resistance and he was expecting it. 1/30 isn't particularly comforting.
I personally am under the impression the the government was WMDs pointed at every major wizard population center in the country, in addition to there existing a number of damn loyal wizards working exclusively for the government. If Voldemort had ever truly started working against muggles instead of being distracted by other wizards, I would bet solid money that hogwarts would have been leveled by WMD or at least the surrounding countryside would have been bathed in enough radiation to make the school glow. Gas attacks on the ministry and Diagon ally to kill as many wizards as possible. And thanks to wizards nsa like levels of tracking, undoubtedly hunting down and killing of any wizard who could be found.
Whatever. This is some serious rambling and will get buried anyway. I'm going to post cause I did write it all out and it seems like a waste to delete.
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H/T: Reddit
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.