You know that there's a 50% extra chance you're going to laugh in a time you shouldn't be laughing. And then from there, it's approximately a 25% chance that that laughter will become uncontrollable and cross every social line possible in that moment.
u/KillerMemeStar3 asked Reddit:
Here were some of the not-hilarious answers.
In a staff meeting when they told us the store was closing and we would all be losing our jobs. It was the first mandatory full staff meeting in the 2 years I had been there (usually the warehouse area where I worked would do those things separately).
I was joking in the carpool to work that we were all getting laid off in one go to save time and when we get there the Big Boss has tissue boxes lining the meeting table. I knew I was right and immediately starting giggling like an idiot. I kept it together (kinda) until they announced the lay offs and then I lost it.
Other people were in tears for losing their jobs but the whole thing was weirdly hilarious to me.
When I was 20, I moved to North Carolina to live with my bf at the time. I had come from a fairly active church background, so my bf, wanting me to feel at home, decided to take me to a quaint church out in the backwoods just outside of town. The congregation was divided by gender, men on the right, women on the left. The pastor greeted me and made a huge deal about how he was happy to make an exception to allow me to sit with my bf on the men's side since it was my first time attending, so I did.
It was a fire-and-brimstone, straight out of a movie, Big Tent Revival, evangelical church. The pastor was yelling and stomping and shouting about how the media and TV was corrupting our children and how we should close our eyes to worldly sin or forever forfeit our right to the kingdom. It was intense. He was jumping and pointing and spit was flying as he preached, and then he locked eyes with me while saying "So I say, YES, I SAY, Lord, GET SPONGEBOB AND HIS LITTLE FRIEND OUT OF MY HOUSE! Get them OUT, dear lord, for I will not let my babies bare witness to their sin!" And I lost it. I could not contain myself. I buried my face in my hands, then in my bf's shoulder, but I couldn't stop, and I was shaking uncontrollably. The men around us thought I was 'touched' by the service and they all laid their hands on me in prayer, which made it much, much worse, and when I finally got myself under control, I had tears of laughter streaming down my face.
We never went back.
F Is For Friends Who Fart Stuff Together
My best friends father died, and we kinda stopped talking for a while. I dont think I had seen her in almost a year. Well as wee go down to hug and say hi to the family, I noticed it the same thing over and over "I'm sorry for your loss." If you need anything, im always here for you guys"
Well I knew she was tired of hearing it, as I walked up I hugged her and whispered in her ear " I just farted"
With tears in her eyes she laughed uncontrollably. And she still mentions that moment from time to time.
And yes we are best friends again.
Ding Dong Merrily On High
At my mother's baptism...
My mother was raised Catholic but grew away from the church for various reasons over the years, but she became very active at her local Baptist church and decided to officially convert. They held a huge ceremony during the Sunday morning service, and the whole family showed up to support her.
Well, there is always music and singing, and being a fairly large church, they had a band with a multitude of instruments. There was this one fucking guy, and his job was to play the chimes. You know, the different ones hanging on strings all in a row? Well let me tell you, this guy LOVED to play the f*cking chimes. It was his only job. He did it with such flourish. He would shove his hand into the air before swooping into the hanging bars of metal. Did you know that he was also able to incorporate chimes in to multiple points of all the songs played? Well he did. Chimessssss all day.
The first time it happened, my husband and I locked eyes in the pew. That was it, we f*cking lost it. AND HE KEPT DOING IT! Song after song. We could not get control of ourselves. My father, sitting behind us, was furious.
Just Pay Regular Price
Not the worst, but I've done it at the movies a few times. Once during Mad Max Fury Road and again watching the first Jurassic World. One friend insisted in seeing them in 3D. For some reason, when the guitar player in Mad Max came flying off the truck in 3D, I lost my sh*t and could not pull myself together. And I have a pretty loud belly laugh cackle. I unintentionally made a scene in the theater.
Same deal with Jurassic World, when the guy who is talking about weaponizing the velociraptors tries to hold out a hand to calm one down and it starts by eating his arm, then killing him. The 3D in that movie was meh, and this was one of the few times it kind of worked. And again, for some reason, I lost my mind laughing.
We don't go to 3D movies anymore.
Here's a word of advice: Don't attend a car crash as part of a first date.
Back when I was first trying my hand at online dating, I made plans to meet up with a young woman at a coffee shop near a beach. Like many such doomed-from-the-start affairs, this one began with a lot of small talk, a discussion about the surrounding area, and a couple of allegedly humorous misunderstandings. For a little while, it seemed like it was going to be an unremarkable excursion... but just as as the conversation was actually getting started, we were interrupted by the loud screech, pop, and crunch of a fishtailing car plowing into a nearby tree.
As is wont to happen in such circumstances, many of the café's other customers gathered around to gawk at the scene. Murmurs of speculation rippled through the small crowd as we all watched the car's driver climb out and survey the damage, followed by gasps of shock and alarm as people noticed that her head was bleeding. One of the nearby employees went to call 911, and my date asked if we should try to help the woman. I was about to respond with my agreement, but the words never came out... largely because they were replaced by uproarious laughter.
Please understand, I wasn't making light of the car crash. In fact, at the exact moment that I'd been encouraged to assist, I'd caught sight of something that my brain decided was too funny to ignore: From behind the wreckage, there came an enormous – almost spherical – man riding on a motorized bicycle. He looked to be about fifty, had an expression of intense concentration on his face, and was moving so slowly that it really seemed like he should have toppled over. Each of the man's limbs were frozen in place, statue-like, as the dull whine of the vehicle's motor struggled to inch him forward.
I don't know why I found that so amusing, but I couldn't stop myself from laughing. Tears of mirth clouded my vision, and no matter how hard I tried to restrain myself, I just couldn't stymie my amused outburst. Needless to say, it didn't make the best impression on the girl across the table from me, and I could feel the disapproving stares of the other patrons from all around. I did finally manage to explain what had caused me to break down like I had, but I'm not convinced that the young woman believed me.
We didn't have a second date... but to be honest, I still chuckle to myself when I picture the man on his moped.
A Simple Mix Up
I used to work in a call centre, and on each call I had to enquire whether the customer had cavity wall and loft insulation already.
On one call I accidentally asked somebody if they'd had their "caft and lovity woft", immediately bursting into an insane fit of giggles. Thankfully the person on the other end of the phone saw the funny side (honestly just typing that out now I'm having to suppress the giggles) .
I ended the call and had to take a break to let all of the giggles out and compose myself.
Eventually I calmed down enough to make another phone call, and for whatever reason, as soon as the next person answered the phone I burst back into giggles.
The customer was nooottttt impressed. I explained "caft and lovity woft" and apologised to the guy, but he told me how unprofessional it was and that it made my company look bad etc etc. I apologised profusely but still couldn't really stop giggling. He hung up shortly after that.
And tbh, f*ck that guy, because caft and lovity woft is hilarious.
Out Of Context
When I first met my husband's parents they invited some of their extended family out for dinner.
My husband's aunt told me this story:
An elderly man they knew was island hopping in Indonesia and got into a small plane of about ten people. The plane's engine failed (or something like that haha) and it nosedived into the ocean. 9 passengers died, this man they knew was the only surviver and was picked up by a passing boat.
He went into hospital where they were sure he was on his deathbed with pneumonia. After a month of being in hospital in a foreign country, his family demanded he be transported back home. After another month in hospital finally he made a recovery and returned home. For his first breakfast back home he asked that it be served on his balcony. He sat down on his chair on the balcony and waited for his breakfast to be served. The balcony "fell off the house and he died."
I think it was the phrasing "fell off the house", combined with nerves at meeting my husband's family for the first time, that made me completely lose my mind. I was wiping away tears. The worst part is that no one else heard the story and when they asked the aunt what was so funny she said "I was just telling her how so and so passed away."
My great grandmothers funeral. She was very loved and there were almost 200 people packed into this funeral home. But we were in good spirits. She was a great woman and wouldn't want us sad. She was very sick anyway so no one was truly shocked she passed.
My uncle was sitting in the front row I was in the second with my aunt (his sister). It was dead silent before the music started to play and I see my uncle look left and right. The front row was all pall bearers. He just turns around and says, "it looks like a Republican national convention up here." I realize it's an entire row of 6 foot average weight 40-60 year old white men all wearing the same suit.
My aunt and I were choking back tears from laughing so hard. Completely couldn't catch my breath.
Made the whole funeral go better.
There is a neighbor boy that my son and I absolutely hate. I know he's just a kid, but I hate him with a deep, adult hatred.
(I genuinely believe he is a sociopath and has a future of crime and/or douchbaggery ahead of him. He choked my son in front of me, lied about it to me, and then when I talked to his parents about it, they just said "Well that's not what he told us happened, and there's two sides to every story," so you know there's no hope for this kid to be put on the right path.)
Anyway, there was a neighborhood kickball game in my yard one day, and I'm monitoring because this kid showed up and he was constantly cheating and bullying the other kids, and I was waiting for enough to happen to justify kicking him out. I was just standing up to walk over and tell him to leave, because he was trying to claim he tagged a kid with the ball when he hadn't, when my son picked up the ball, fired it at the little *sshole's face with the accuracy of a missile launch, and yelled "Stop cheating, this is why no one likes you!"
The kid's head snapped back hard, and he toppled to the ground. He looked at me, clearly wanting me to dish out some punishment, but I was literally in tears laughing at the little douchebag's comeuppance. I know the right thing to do here, and I did none of it.
Y'all know that one Hannah Montana song? “Everybody makes mistakes! Everybody has those days!" That's the song I sing to myself every time I accidentally burn myself while making ramen. It comforts me to know, however, that there are a lot of worse mistakes out there than some spilled ramen. Who knew?
In fact, some mistakes are so astronomical that they're remembered for decades afterwards, leaving the one who made the mistake a legacy of being a dumba**. Here are a few of them!!!
Some may argue that the existence of the Universe was a mistake. I disagree. It was clearly Zayn leaving One Direction. But these next few were pretty bad too.
If you do the math, this is also the reason why Hentai exists.
I'll say the wrong turn Franz Ferdinand's driver made that went right in front of Gavrilo Princip.
EDIT: yes I'm aware war may still have broken out even if Franz Ferdinand wasn't assassinated
Imagine you're Gavrilo Princip. The assassination plot you and your friends had been cooking up for about the last year or so has been a complete and total disaster, just a monumental f*ck-up of the highest degree. You're staked out at this deli thinking maybe, just maybe the car will pass by, and by some stroke of sheer luck, it does.
If you're Princip, this is nothing short of serendipity.
Petition to return to the ocean.Ocean Surf GIFGiphy
"Many were increasingly of the opinion that they'd all made a big mistake in coming down from the trees in the first place. And some said that even the trees had been a bad move, and that no one should ever have left the oceans."
"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move." - Douglas Adams
This was, in fact, a monumental mistake.
Sears not beating Amazon to the punch.
Blockbuster not buying Netflix.
You thought THOSE were bad? Well gear up for their next few, because they are 100% accurate. Except the one about Cats, that movie slaps.
I don’t know sports, but sure.
Seahawks not running it.
I used to wear a Seahawks jersey whenever I took a test because I knew I would pass when I shouldn't.
CATS is great, y'all are just boring.Giphy
The Emoji Movie.
That live action movie about Cats is also up there.
Very fair point.
Humans are not wired to have that many social interactions and maintain that many relationships. Plus the echochambers it allows people to create for themselves, no matter how conspiratorial or vile their beliefs, means that stupid/evil people are no longer shunned into changing their mind.
Not sure it was worth being able to see what a celebrity had for lunch or what new "dance" your younger cousin and her tween friends are doing.
But in all seriousness, some horrible things may now have happened if the right thing was halted at the right time.
Washington called it.George Washington Disney GIF by Hamilton: An American MusicalGiphy
Voting for people based on what side of the political spectrum they're on. George Washington himself advised against political parties because he thought they would cause too much division in this country. Unfortunately for everyone, he was right.
Big oops on that one.
Barack Obama mocking Donald Trump at the Correspondents Dinner might have led directly to his 2016 run....
"Now, I know that he's taken some flak lately, but no one is happier, no one is prouder to put this birth certificate matter to rest than The Donald," Obama said. "And that's because he can finally get back to focusing on the issues that matter — like, did we fake the moon landing? What really happened in Roswell? And where are Biggie and Tupac?"
Then he turned serious: "But all kidding aside, obviously, we all know about your credentials and breadth of experience. For example — no, seriously, just recently, in an episode of 'Celebrity Apprentice' — at the steakhouse, the men's cooking team did not impress the judges from Omaha Steaks. And there was a lot of blame to go around. But you, Mr. Trump, recognized that the real problem was a lack of leadership. And so ultimately, you didn't blame Lil Jon or Meatloaf. You fired Gary Busey. And these are the kind of decisions that would keep me up at night. Well handled, sir. Well handled."
This is the best Star Wars and no one can change my mind.
I'll take 'Star Wars Christmas Special' for $100.
That atrocious pile of manure gave us Boba Fett, so without the Christmas Special there won't be The Mandalorian.
Wow, in this article, I openly admitted my love for Cats AND The Star Wars Holiday Special. So maybe my existence was the biggest mistake of all.
ANYWAY, I hope you enjoyed, and I hope you all feel a little bit better about yourself. Because when push comes to shove, at least you didn't accidentally start World War I
When I was younger, it seemed every adult believed that you couldn't swim for several hours after eating. Why did they all believe this? I fought them on this all the time, by the way. I shouldn't have had to, just because I'd eaten some barbecue during a pool party. Guess what, though? That belief is unfounded.
After Redditor MelonInACat asked the online community, "What is a common myth that has been debunked that too many people believe?" people told us about the myths that are still around despite credible evidence.
"Do you know how many wellness checks..."
You must wait 24 hours before reporting a missing person.
- 24 hours from when? The time you realized they were missing? The time you estimate they went missing? The time of the initial report to police?
- Who is the legal timekeeper? If this is a law, it must have a designated timekeeper for official records. City police? County sheriff? Do I hire a private attorney to file a time-keeping motion in court?
- If the most likely time to find a missing person is the first 24 hours, why would you wait 24 hours?
- If the person dies or is severely injured because the county/state refused to initiate a search, doesn't that put some liability on their office? It seems like that would've been tested in court by now.
There's no law governing how long you have to wait before notifying the police of a missing person. It's nonsense. File a report as soon as you suspect the person is missing or in danger.
Do you know how many wellness checks officers go on in a day? Call it in, man...
CALL IT IN!
Why would you wait so long? It's absurd and wastes valuable time. And in the event something has happened, you could very well be saving someone's life.
"Popping your knuckles..."
Popping your knuckles is actually harmless and the "study" that claimed it caused arthritis was heavily flawed. Studies now show that it has nothing to do with causing arthritis.
I heard this one all the time.
I didn't crack my knuckles anyway because I didn't understand the appeal. Why were all the first-graders so fascinated by this?
"That if you get too close..."
That if you get too close to a baby bird, the mother will smell human on the baby and abandon the nest.
You probably should still avoid touching baby birds for other reasons like disease or risking injury to the animal though.
"That waking a sleepwalker..."
That waking a sleepwalker is dangerous for them. They might wake up confused, but they'll be fine unless you scream at them or something.
"That your hair and fingernails..."
That your hair and fingernails still grow after you die. It's mainly an optical illusion. Your skin decays and shrinks, causing hair and fingernails to look like they've grown.
I grew up hearing this.
There are entire generations of people who believe this.
"We all know the story."
The War of The Worlds broadcast in 1938. We all know the story: Orson Welle's broadcast War of The Worlds over the Columbia Broadcasting System (CBS). But people only tuned in partway through and heard the radio announcing that machines were landing in the country and were advancing and attacking. People panicked in the streets and thought aliens really were invading. There was hysteria on the streets, people were looting and traffic jams backed up as people tried to escape.
But it turns out, that isn't really true. It turns out barely anyone actually listened to the broadcast, and the few that were listening knew it was Orson Welles and knew it was just a broadcast of War of the Worlds. If there was anyone that did tune in and mishear it and panicked, it was nowhere near the hundreds and thousands that have been reported in this myth.
This one is definitely a popular urban myth by this point.
Cool story, but nowhere near as exciting as you might have heard. If anything, that mythos probably helped Welles get full artistic control of the projects, like Ciitizen Kane and The Magnificent Ambersons, that made him a star.
"You don't have to wait..."
You don't have to wait 3 hours after eating to swim. Every summer I have to fight my in-laws about it.
"Do you really think..."
That not turning your airplane mode on (smartphone) can interfere/jam communications.
Do you really think if a smartphone might endanger a whole plane with passengers they would let it fly?
"No amount of reasoning..."
That cats kill babies.
I've run into this so many times since having kids. And it's not the older grandmas making these statements. I've had 20-year-olds tell me that you can't have cats if you plan to have babies because "they'll steal their breath" or some other variation. No amount of reasoning or rationale will dissuade them of this belief.
"Maybe it's just one of those things..."
YOUR. BLOOD. IS. NOT. BLUE! Seriously tho, I was told that everyone's blood was blue on the inside when I was younger, and I honestly don't know why my Mom thought that. Maybe it's just one of those things that you only believe because your family has been saying it since your Grandma's Grandpa's Grandma's Grandma's Grandpa or something like that.
Here's some valuable advice, guys:
Google is your friend. It's very easy to debunk this stuff. I remember being taught that the tongue had taste zones––we even had to fill out a worksheet labeling the tongue's different zones. That's totally wrong, in case you haven't figured it out.
Have some myths you've heard you'd like more people to know have already been debunked? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments section below!
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As much as we're not supposed to feel satisfaction upon observing the struggles of other people, it can be hard to resist a silent, internal fist pump when some blunder occurs immediately after we tried to help the person prevent it.
It is all a result of stubbornness.
The person we're trying to help is stubborn. They think they know the best way to do something, or the exact information required for a given moment.
And, on top of that, they think we're being stubborn when we try to intervene.
So all of our attempts to help fall on deaf ears. And the results can be as calamitous as they are satisfying.
TenaciousBrit asked, "What's your 'I told you so' moment?"
Many people chose to talk about the times their friends or family ended up producing some truly entertaining physical comedy.
And the laughter was only enhanced with the knowledge that they'd just predicted the whole thing.
"Was picking beans with my sister and mom. To this day I still don't know why the fence was electric but it was. I touched it and I got zapped. It wasn't too bad but it hurt. I jumped away and my sister saw me, I said that it was an electric fence."
"Of course she just thought I was pranking her. I was trying to tell her the whole time we picked beans but she didn't believe me. Right at the end she touched the fence and she didn't see it coming at all... Her face was just like, 'Oh shi-' "
"Loved the car ride home, 'I told you... Idiot.' "
No Babies, Two Hurt Backs
"My sister and I were out sledding when we were kids at this place with a really steep hill. I had unknowingly gone down a sled path that had a jump in it, and when I landed it really hurt my back."
"So when I got back up to the top of the hill I told my sister 'don't go that way, the jump really hurts.' She called me a baby and didn't believe me that it really hurt so she decided she would go down that path on her sled."
"Well, she hit the jump and didn't get back up, turns out she fell so hard she had broken her leg. When we finally got her back up the hill and to the car, I got to tell her 'I told you so.' "
"This dumb a**hole woman wouldn't leave the llamas at our petting zoo alone, even after I warned her."
"Eventually they had enough and spit alllll over her. Green goopy spit from head to torso."
"She threw up a bunch and I laughed. Until I smelled it and then I was retching too."
Others recalled the times they trusted their instincts, only to be gaslighted by medical professionals.
But they did, eventually, get the help they needed. And the mixture of pride and frustration toward the other doctor was palpable.
"Had a weirdly dark freckle. The color of chocolate. I showed spouse and he called me a hypochondriac and if I go to a doctor, I'd be wasting their time."
"I went to the dermatologist. It was melanoma."
Years of Itchy Apples
"Since I was 14, my throat got itchy when I ate apples. I told my mom but she thought I just didn't want to eat apples and forced me to eat them."
"Went to the doctor's office and got a test for allergies."
"Turns out, I'm allergic to apples, peaches, and many other fruits."
This Was a Baby We're Talking About Here!
"My newborn baby was projectile vomiting after every feeding. I took her to the doctor several times, always ended up being sent away with suggestions to try a different formula. I tried like 4 different ones, no change."
"The 4th or 5th visit, they sent me away again with the same recommendation even though I pleaded with them to figure out what was wrong with my baby. I left the office and drove to the ER instead. She ended up having emergency surgery that day."
"The surgeon said she would have starved to death (or maybe dehydrated?) had she gone much longer without the surgery. I gave the doctors in that office a piece of my mind."
Dirt: Not Always the Answer
"Went to the doctor on and off for breathing problems to no avail. A lot of 'rub some dirt on it' mentality. Wound up in the ER as a result of an asthma attack. Kept the bracelet on and everything when I went back the next week to see him."
"Not as satisfying as I would've hoped."
And some people discussed the times they knew or predicted a piece of information, but couldn't seem to persuade someone else through dialogue or conversation.
But, of course, the truth always comes out.
Chose the Wrong Partner
"Lawyer here. Fired a partner who I found some real irregularities in their spending habits vs. what they were making after he couldn't provide a good answer to where it came from. Other partner left and started a new firm with them because they disagreed with my decision and refused to look at the evidence."
"Turns out he stole 500k of a clients money, got disbarred, and is now facing prison time. I told her to look at the evidence and she didn't listen. 🤷🏼♂️"
"Someone started talking about a bottle of Newman's Own salad dressing while at dinner with my family and I said something like 'I'm pretty sure that was started by the Actor/Race car driver Paul Newman.' to which one of my siblings replied 'No it was someone else.' "
"I grabbed the bottle and turned it around and started reading the label out loud. The first sentence was 'Paul Newman's career was acting, but his passion was auto racing.' I stopped reading after that."
He Knew Immediately
"Bed frame wasn't properly lashed down while moving, partner insisted the weight of the frame would keep it in place."
"Flew into the middle of a major intersection on a left turn. We dodged four lanes of oncoming traffic to collect the pieces."
"I fixed my partner with a look that could peel paint, and he said 'I know, I know, you told me so and you're right. I'm sorry.' "
"I still give him sh** for it every time we move something. It's funny now, but god damn was I pissed at the time."
We can draw a couple of lessons from this list.
First, know that, at the end of the day, you can only do your best to share your opinion. You need to accept that they're going to do what they're going to do.
Second, when someone tries to give you advice, maybe take a moment to listen.
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One of the most upsetting aspects of the Covid-19 pandemic––which is saying a lot, frankly––is the number of people who have been so affected by misinformation and disinformation. You know the ones to which I refer: These are the people who are convinced the virus is a hoax despite the lives it's claimed and the devastation it has wrought on society at large. Disinformation kills––there are stories of people who remained convinced that Covid-19 is a hoax even while intubated in the ICU, even up to their last breath.
After Redditor asked the online community, "Doctors of Reddit, what happened when you diagnosed a Covid-19 denier with Covid-19?" doctors and other medical professionals shared these rather unsettling stories.
"The one that sticks out in my mind..."
I'm a doctor working in acute internal medicine. I've seen lots of COVID over the last 12 months, probably 300+ cases. The one that sticks out in my mind the most was a 70-year-old lady with COPD. She refused to have a vaccine because she didn't trust it despite the fact she was eligible for one for weeks beforehand (in the UK). Subsequently caught COVID and was admitted to hospital. She repeatedly doubted this was the diagnosis. She refused to go to our COVID High Dependency Unit despite quite significant respiratory failure. Of course, she deteriorated over a number of days to the point where she was on maximal oxygen on the ward and at that point finally accepted treatment in HDU with high flow oxygen, although continued to doubt she had COVID. Died within 24 hours of her HDU admission having refused to go to ICU.
And of course, what did her family say? They were convinced she never had COVID and even went as far as accusing us of withholding life-saving treatment from her. Unfortunately, there's no treatment for stupidity.
Indeed there isn't.
A completely avoidable tragedy.
"My worst experience..."
My worst experience was when a 2-year-old kid got diagnosed with COVID. His mother had brought him with c/o fever and diarrhea. The child was severely dehydrated and so we had to do a mandatory swab test since we planned to admit him. It came positive and the mother refused to admit it. We were ready to perform a repeat test and we even advised the parents to get tested. Her defense was "The child never left the house. It's just me and the father who go to work daily. The grandmother babysits while we are away. How can he even get COVID without leaving the house." She had called her husband, he came with 10-15 relatives in a car, they broke a few chairs and then left with the baby. We just informed about the case to the COVID control centre.
"Only one patient ever accused me..."
Infectious disease doctor here. Seen about 450-500 COVID patients in the hospital since it all started. Only one patient ever accused me of using the nasal swab to give him COVID (along with a microchip). A handful have ranted nonstop about China. Everyone else has been sick enough to accept it, but lots still refuse the idea of vaccination even after being in the ICU.
"I had a lady who was maxed out..."
I had a lady who was maxed out on high flow (the next step is breathing tube) who still refused to believe she had Covid and was holding a negative test in her hand that she had taken a week prior.
The denial is so strong here.
It would be sad if it wasn't so horrifying.
"I'm an attending physician..."
I'm an attending physician at our Triage Unit. On a Friday, an older gentleman (60 + years) came in with his entire family (wife, sister, BIL, 2 nephews, and 3 children), none of them with a face mask. All had mild COVID symptoms except him, he was saturating 80% with evident shortness of breath. We insisted on doing PCR and a chest CAT scan looking for COVID but he and his wife refused, saying that COVID wasn't real and it was just a bacterial infection. The more we talked with him the more agitated he got to the point that his face was red. We suggested hospitalizing him to stabilize him and start treatment, but they accused us of exaggerating his symptoms and that we only wanted to hospitalize him so we could steal the liquid in his knees (a stupid rumor that was going around when this whole thing started).
They both cursed at us and said they were going to a better hospital to get antibiotics. Fast forward 24 hours later on Saturday, I get a call from the hospital next county over telling us that they intubated one of our patients because he went into respiratory failure when he arrived and they had to transfer him here because they don't have the appropriate equipment. We transfer the patient on Sunday only to find out on the CAT scan he had 90% of lung damage. He passed away on Monday morning.
Just before the family took the body away, I gave the widow the death certificate (that I filled out) and before walking away, she turns around and waves the certificate yelling "See! I told you it wasn't COVID! It says here: "Death due to pulmonary pneumonia due to SARS-CoV-2! I knew it was a bacteria!" I told her: "SARS-CoV-2 is COVID-19, ma'am."
The lengths people are willing to go to stay in denial astound me.
Basic critical thinking appears to have gone out the window here.
I'm a family doc who mostly does outpatient.
I live in a pretty conservative area with a good proportion of COVID deniers, so I've been seeing COVID deniers since this mess became politicized (I've lost a few patients over the mask mandate).
Anyway, I'm pretty pleased to say that several of my COVID denying patients have completely turned their attitude around when they (or a close family member) contracted COVID. Even if their case wasn't severe, the sudden terror that they could wind up on a ventilator overnight really puts the fear of God into people.
Unfortunately, I still have some patients who are still pretty obnoxious despite their covid diagnosis. They mostly dig deeper into paranoia. If not about the virus itself, then about the circumstances surrounding them contracting it.
"If Fauci had done his job from the beginning, it never would've hit this town."
"It's the entire fault of Obamacare that I can't get the experimental immunoglobulin treatment!" (It's not, your eligibility for the infusion is dependent on a list of risk factors).
And, probably my favorite...
"So I have COVID and it's completely your responsibility to fix it. I need you to send Hydroxychloroquine, Zinc, Vit D, Lisinopril, and azithromycin to the pharmacy..." Then they proceed to get pissed at me when I don't.
"During our peak time..."
I'm an emergency department physician in the US. I work in an area that had the highest death rate for a solid couple of weeks in the country.
During our peak time when we had national news crews here covering how we were a s***show, saw numerous people screaming their Covid disease wasn't real despite being hypoxic and on large amounts of oxygen due to Covid. That was an unpleasant time as this was still early (May/June) and it was extremely political like people apparently plotting to kidnap our state governor due to lockdowns.
Saw a lot of people refusing Covid testing who needed admission for non-covid purposes because the swabs would give them covid or put some sort of tracking device. They weren't pleased when they then had to be admitted to our full-blown Covid floors. Our Covid floors resembled a warzone because they were understaffed and relative s***hole conditions as we basically converted hallways into covid floors.
Also saw a lot of people young people who weren't exactly deniers but thought you basically couldn't sick if you were young. Lots of people with their lungs permanently scarred or at a minimum a couple of weeks of misery and/or spread it to their loved ones who got extremely ill.
"The willful cognitive dissonance..."
Physician here. The willful cognitive dissonance is real. It never ceases to amaze me how many patients will refuse assistance from me to register to get vaccinated, make claims that vaccines are harmful, but then accept my medical care on anything else that suits their whim. Patients absolutely have the autonomy to refuse care, but why would you continue to see a physician and accept their medical advice and care if you think they would simultaneously recommend something to you that would be harmful?
I've posed this question to patients who are vaccine-hesitant: "Why would you let me manage your diabetes and hypertension if you think I would harm you by recommending vaccinations?" You cannot get any kind of thoughtful response aside from, "I just don't want to be vaccinated."
"Some denier patients lived..."
RN here with most of 2020 spent in COVID land. I never had anyone refuse treatment when things got serious. I know some of the MDs I worked with got yelled at, like the rest of us...but honestly, that happens frequently anyway.
Some denier patients lived, many of which had accepted reality by the end of their stay after seeing what we all were going through to treat them.
Some died telling me I was a sheep or an idiot or a liar between gasps of air.
COVID didn't care.
This comment is strangely poetic.
Covid definitely doesn't care. The virus lays waste to people and... that's it. Good luck with your games of Russian roulette.
"People are crazy."
I work on a COVID unit and I ran into a patient like this. They'd tell me over and over again about how they weren't really sick and about how I didn't need to be gowned up in PPE. They even tried to take my face shield off. If you test positive for COVID two times then you have COVID! People are crazy.
Covid disinformation is a very serious problem and it's costing people their lives.
What can be done about it?
News literacy matters: It's important to get information from verifiable sources. Scientists and medical professionals are trustworthy. Those with backgrounds in public health know what they're talking about. Some conspiracy theory you received from your distant cousin on WhatsApp or Facebook Messenger is not worth your time or consideration.
Have some of your own Covid denial stories to share? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
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