Dysfunctional Families Reveal Their Traditions No One Else Celebrates
Dysfunctional families are the rule, not the exception, and all of them have their own sets of traditions that outsiders would probably find strange. But it's what makes them special, right?
realkpossible asked, What is a tradition that your family does that you found out was not normal?
Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.
This is definitely a way to get kids to eat less candy. Well-played, mom and dad.
The Pumpkin Fairy. It was a Halloween tradition in my family, where we would take a portion of the candy we got, put it in a sack, and hoist it up a tree. The next day, we'd cut down the sack, and there'd be a game of some kind in there. It blew my mind as a kid but was really just a ploy by my parents so we'd eat less candy (honestly not a bad move imo).
"I know what this tree needs... testicles."
At Christmas time, while decorating the Xmas tree, my brothers would always take two golden ball ornaments and put it at the very bottom of the tree so they hang down. They proclaim the tree is male because it looks like it has two golden testicles. Over ten years later and we have all moved out, my mom decorates the tree but leaves the two golden balls out so when we visit for the holidays my adult brothers are able to place them. It is a simple thing but I love it.
Ok this is actually hilarious.
When my parents first moved in together they could not afford all the flashy Christmas bling for their tree so the topper they opted for was a rubber chicken.
They continued to use the rubber chicken as a tradition and I never thought anything of it until 1992 when I was in grade primary (kindergarten) and our teacher asked the class what goes on top of the Christmas tree. As I had only ever had one experience this was an easy one...
The rest of the class didn't understand so later that night I asked my parents why other kids all said they used stars and angels, like demented weirdos.
After that, my parents decided to get a more traditional ornament for the top of the tree but the original rubber chicken remains amongst the branches.
When I moved, out a few years back, my parents gave me an early Christmas present, my own rubber chicken that goes on my own coniferous pagan centerpiece every year.
Edited for fat fingers.
Christmas seems to be the theme here. MMMMMMM cinnamon rolls.
My family has a Christmas tradition of eating fresh cinnamon rolls on Christmas morning. I thought this was a traditional Christmas Day breakfast until I got to first grade!
This isn't a far cry from the Festivus pole.
Every Christmas, my Grandma and my brother exchange a bowling pin, this goes back to the early 90s. It's the same pin, but whoever has it that year dresses it up like a pop culture figure. Some of the best ones have been Britney Spares, Osama Pin Laden, Shaquille Bowl'neil, Fresh Pins of Bel Air, Barack Bowlbama, Caitlyn Pinner, Tim Tebowl, Ty Pinnington, Jesus Strikes
Whoever has the pin that year also writes a poem filled with jokes about the celebrity. It's always bad and really offensive.
My mom and my aunt also started a "Holiday Heist" where they took turns every year stealing something obvious. One year my mom stole my grandma's life-size Mrs. Clause doll and dressed it up like the grim reaper. One year my aunt stole my mom's phone. We were all digging through wrapping paper and trash for HOURS. My mom was pissed and they didn't do it again.
We throw in playing in two different keys on the piano.
The way we sing happy birthday. We all start at different times sing really loud and are free to change/add extra words as you wish. It can be frightening the first time you hear it.
By all means, fly the dead bird around.
Final Flight of the Turkey: every Christmas Eve, typically pretty late when the kids have gone off to bed, my family would make the stuffing and prep the turkey. However, once the stuffing is ready to be put in the turkey, we have to get the turkey out of the sink and into the pan. Instead of simply transferring it from the sink to the pan, it is tradition to "fly" it around the dining room/kitchen (typically done by 2 people, holding a wing and a leg each) with at least 1 "knife edge" turn, before executing a hard landing into the pan. I think this has been done every Christmas Eve for at least the last 20 years.
Before you ask, yes, lots of alcohol is involved. As is tradition .
My family used to do this, but in our neighbor's yard.
My family has always burned the Christmas tree at midnight on New Years. None of my classmates, friends, or anyone I know personally did this. Apparently, they all just take their dead tree to the dump. After looking it up, it's apparently a thing in Europe, but it's not a thing in my area.
Edit: What we normally do is take the decorations down from the tree on New Year's Eve and get together all the wrapping paper (no plastics) from presents. We have snacks and get wasted and as midnight approaches the soberest few (usually family too young to drink) stuff the naked tree with paper and put it out in the yard. My dad gets together ammunition and as the clock turns we light the tree and fire into the night (in a safe and clear direction, usually a close hillside). Cheering and hooting commence and we quiet down and watch the tree burn until it goes out. If the tree burns well it's supposedly good luck. We go inside and continue partying and usually, someone vomits uncontrollably after getting too drunk on Vodka. Fun fact: this is the only day of the year any of my family gets proper s***faced. Good times. My family doesn't know when we started this tradition, but it's from my dad's side.
The Great Pumpkin is a hero.
On Halloween, after everybody's gone to sleep, the Great Pumpkin visits little kids with allergies and turns all their store-bought candy into safe desserts.
I first realized this wasn't a thing when I started grade school and found out that my peers had never heard of the Great Pumpkin at all. Then in high school, I found out that The Great Pumpkin isn't even a thing for families with allergies. Usually, parents make the kid trade out their candy, or go door to door and ask their neighbors to give their kid some kind of alternate treat instead.
But my mom wanted to let me trick-or-treat like a normal kid and have the fun of getting as much candy as possible from total strangers. So she decided that the Great Pumpkin was real, gave him special candy-transforming powers, and showed me the Peanuts Halloween comics as "proof." Then after I went to bed, she swapped out my candy for safe treats and told me the Great Pumpkin had visited. (The Great Pumpkin also had to visit my little brother because he got jealous.)
If my kids have allergies (or I decide I want to limit their access to garbage food) you can sure as heck bet they'll get visits from the Great Pumpkin too.
My dad's family smears the name on the cake. It always made me feel like I was going to die.
An odd birthday thing. Now everyone sings happy birthday and the candles get blown out as usual. The birthday person also cuts the first bit of cake but is supposed to scream when first inserting the knife. No idea why and never encountered it anywhere else.
No visitors? Naps? Yes please.
Total silence in the house between 3 to 7 PM, no visits allowed. "After lunch, everyone wants to rest, no one visits anyone."
Then my parents go to take a nap. I didn't realize this wasn't the norm till I was an adult.
Not all heroes wear capes.
My family has this Christmas Eve tradition called the Pajama Man. Upon telling friends in college, and years later at my work, people have found hilarity in my family's tradition. I would like to hear yours.
Pajama Man: He delivers pajamas to wear on Christmas Eve/Christmas Morning to your front door and disappears before you can answer the bell.
Treating kids like intelligent individuals capable of understanding consequences? What a novel idea.
Growing up my parents never yelled at me. When I say never, I mean never. They would explain to me why what I was doing was wrong and punishment would be talking about my problem ending with an Andy Griffith style lesson to be learned. They were super upbeat and always wanted to treat me as an equal, not just as their son. I know some families don't like to do it this way, but it worked for us. I was a more responsible and mature kid growing up.
"Sorry, the family and I are playing Jingle Dick."
I'm a little late but it's worth a mention.
We open presents on Christmas Eve under the supervision of an art piece purchased by my aunt. It is a ceramic gourd filled with jingly beads. Its shape is very bulbous at one end, with a long cylindrical shaft and a small "head" or "tip."
We call it the Jingle, and everyone who opens a present must shake it over their head and scream like the sand people from star wars.
This is really cool. We all wear masks, right?
We display masks and statuettes on the walls.
My father traveled a lot and would buy masks and the like from flea markets and shops and all sorts of places, and he'd hang them up in the front hall. There were so many of them, some with "hair", some small enough to fit in your hand...there was this one big one that was too tall for the hall so he put it over the fireplace when it wasn't in use (I hated that one, it was curved on the back so it always slid to the side when you passed it).
I never thought anything of it, if anything I loved the masks (I was always fascinated by masks. We have a poster of hockey masks from the earliest ones to the "latest" (latest being like the mid-80s) and my mother said when she used to bottle feed me as a baby I'd just stare at it) but I eventually came to realize that it was kind of weird.
My father passed away many years ago now but we still have the masks. Most are in storage right now because we moved and my stepfather isn't a huge fan of them (though he has one set up above the toilet in their bathroom, amusingly). We split up the masks into three groups, my brother, mother, and I took one, and when I get my own place, I plan to set up my own wall of masks and continue the tradition.
Nothing brings a family together like competition on a holiday.
We play bingo on Thanksgiving. It is a big deal - so much so that when people sign up to bring a dish for Thanksgiving, they also sign up to bring prizes for bingo. We're very competitive and there have been a couple tantrums from the younger players when they have to clear a card after a round.
Cue the chants and drums.
Well, this tradition started when I was an adult, but my nephews and nieces are going to have a hell of a time explaining that their family constructs, and then burns, a wooden turkey on Thanksgiving.
All glory to burning bird!
Not having traditions is most certainly a tradition. Cheaper, too.
My family has absolutely zero traditions. Not one. Now I'm older I realize it's because my parents and grandparents are very dull people. I'm starting new family traditions with my wife and daughter that we can look forward to.
A celebration for the ages. Parenting FTW.
My mom had a ceremonial latin/LGBT family dinner after Ricky Martin came out of the closet.???????
Fam. Weighted blankets.
If you (or your kids - I see you, exhausted parents) struggle to stay asleep at night, weighted blankets might be a game changer for you. We got one for our 1-year-old after a week of her waking up at 4AM for baby jam sessions.
Best $31.99 we have ever spent. Ever.
Lappy<p>A foldable laptop stand for 15€. Always thought you didn't need this stuff, how different from without one can it be - but it does wonders for my neck. Travels everywhere with me now.</p><p>It was an Amazon Prime sale back in November, but I'd say the 20€ it's priced at now is definitely still worth it. </p><p>I like it because the dark gray metallic color matches my laptop and the aluminium material feels way sturdier than a plastic stand would. I chose a very slim model that's basically just a framework for the laptop, no table or anything, because I mainly need this to take up the least possible space in my backpack as I travel with it every day.</p><p>It's perfect. </p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjmvkl7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">quinalou1</a></p>
Rubber Bristles<p>A rubber bristled broom. I have two dogs and two cats, and my house is all hardwood and tile. A regular broom just sends the fur floating everywhere, but my rubber broom keeps it all nice and tidy and easy to pick up. It works on my area rug and upholstered furniture, too!</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjnmnnv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Boose81</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjnmnnv?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>I've never even considered that something like this exists.</p><p>No more cat hair tumbleweeds rolling around the apartment!</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjocm3n?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ItWasTheButterfly</a></p><p>I recently got one and it is <em>amazing</em>. The other end is a squeegee but I haven't tried that yet.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjnw9ya?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">_perl_</a></p>
Let There Be Light<p>A wake up light alarm clock. The light turns on gradually and wakes you up gradually rather than waking up to obnoxious beeping. Makes the start of my day more positive.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjngycx?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ThimbleAndAcorn</a></p><p>Yes I LOVE mine! Especially in the winter when I have to wake up hours before sunrise</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjohj4l?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">dingoeslovebabies</a></p><p>We just discovered this functionality is built into our Android phones. I don't know if it's just the Motorola brand, but it looks like it's part of the basic Android operating system now. it turns the screen a deep red that slowly brightens into a bright Cheery sunshine yellow. It is definitely a more pleasant way to wake up!</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjo5b9c?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">photogent1</a></p>
The Drain Thingies<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTUwMTQxNi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY0NzI2MzExMX0.n5_i5Us4EM3Gx15GxW40AEUgnfafkQwyeQh2stuwgO0/img.gif?width=980" id="a0779" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="364903589eeb8869999998db0bfad481" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="285" data-height="360" />shower shaving GIFGiphy<p>In my uni house of 4 long-haired girls, we had a sieve-type drain thingie that went over the plughole. It still let water through but caught all the hair to stop it from clogging the drain. </p><p>Yeah, that definitely cost a lot less than a plumber or us losing our deposit</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjnc5di?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">tatt3rsall</a></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjnc5di?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank"></a>I lived in a house with 5 people, me and another short hair guy lived downstairs with our own bathroom, and upstairs was 2 long haired people and 1 medium-length. They never bothered to use a hair catch, and at some point every started showering downstairs.</p>
Heat<p>A heated blanket, don't know how I ever survived winters before this.</p><p>My bedroom is in the attic and it gets cold. Due to how stuff is wired the heating in my room only goes on when it's cold downstairs, but since it doesn't get that cold downstairs my heating never starts up.</p><p>This has saved me so much cold nights curled up in a ball at night trying to warm up, it's amazing</p><p><span></span>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjmzxk8?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">PokingCactus</a></p><p>Same! Saves putting the heating on for the whole house when all you want is for your bed not to be ice-cold in the evening!</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjn580o?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Luke10123</a></p>
Shh!<p>Earplugs. They saved my final exams in highschool when my sister and her 1.5 and 3yo kids tornadoed through the whole house.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjmzl8c?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Bartolo20</a></p><p>I play some music super low on my earbuds and then wear my shooting ear protection over them. I can't hear sh*t and instantly focused. Saved me every time I took an exam last semester at my noisy parent's house.</p><p>- <a href="I play some music super low on my earbuds and then wear my shooting ear protection over them. I can't hear shit and instantly focused. Saved me every time I took an exam last semester at my noisy parent's house." target="_blank">GhostOfErik</a></p>
The Perfect Pencil<p>This one mechanical pencil that I bought in high school or earlier. I'll graduate college soon which means I've been writing with the same pencil for somewhat 10 years. </p><p>It fits perfectly between my fingers. I've kept a traditional diary since I was a kid and it has become more and more important since hardly anything requires paper and a pencil today. So many memories from the happiest moments to the absolute worst have been written down using this pencil. </p><p>I have a few other pencils as well but they don't feel right and eventually I'll put them away and return to my old friend.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjmw607?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">petuwk</a></p>
Get In The Garden<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTUwMTQyMS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyMzg3NzA2Mn0.BhvpD5Nni-3nj0BH3uU9QYgyHKXP-VpWnX_wEwoUaAE/img.gif?width=980" id="35171" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="51719fe8cc6296eadaea3c8c488fdf09" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="320" data-height="180" />fox tv dancing GIF by Bob's BurgersGiphy<p>About 20 years ago I bought a 3 VHS tape set that showed me this guy, Sepp Holzer, doing pond and gardens and raising animals in a way far better than I imagined. It has been the core of my life ever since.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjmvgz7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">paulwheaton</a></p><p>Thank you for posting this. My ten year old daughter is obsessed with gardening and sustainability. </p><p>We recently bought some land in the Blue Ridge mountains and she has been very diligent in planning out what she wants to plant where, she has started her compost pile when we raked the leaves in the fall and was just asking me if she can build a greenhouse before next fall. </p><p>I just showed her your videos and her eyes lit up the way a kids eyes light up when they've found their new obsession.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjob7xy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">drman3211</a></p>
Shower Chair<p>Shower chair. </p><p>I've got a f*cked up back and I initially got it for that but even if my back was fine I'd still have one, they're so useful. If you shave your legs, you won't regret it.</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjndu5d?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">madfishmonger1</a></p><p>I'm heavily pregnant at the moment and have been seriously considering getting a shower chair lol. Now I think I may just go ahead and do it</p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjnqef2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">wifejugs69</a></p>
Butter<p>A butter dish/butter tray. </p><p>Room temp butter always available. No more trying to spread hard butter out of the fridge. Unrefrigerated and covered butter is good for like 2 weeks. </p><p>It never lasts that long. </p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjnm0hu?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">drawingxfiles</a></p><p>What?! I did not even know you could leave butter outside. </p><p>I always thought it was in the same realm as milk, where you store it chilled and only take it out when you need to use it. That's just how it is, living in the tropics I guess? This could be a game changer. </p><p>- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzap5n/what_item_under_50_drastically_improved_your_life/gjo5hqx?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">KabuAtama</a></p>
As kids, we spent about 8 hours every day in school for 10 months of each year. Not surprisingly, a few useless lessons made their way into the curriculum.
Well, maybe more than a few.
Backfired<p>"0-tolerance policy is the dumbest thing ever taught and implemented."</p><p>"All it teaches is to fear authority when you're the victim. It enables the perpetrator (who is normally a bully)."</p><p>"I know administrators are lazy, but they need to actually investigate the goddamn problem instead of saying, 'hey you both were involved in the issue so you're both going to get punished.'"</p><p>"It basically just raises you to hate authority, and while I don't like authorities either I don't think they're all distrustful. Although, I guess this could be interpreted as commentary on how garbage authority is."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gji1860?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">HotSiracha1134</a></p>
It Worked, Didn't It<p>"That sticking up for yourself is wrong. I punched a kid in the face because he was being physically abusive to me."</p><p>"He grabbed my arms and spun us in circles, intending to let go once I would be sort of thrown through the air. I got an arm loose and punched him in the face before that happened."</p><p>"Instead of him being expelled I, a female half his size, was forced to apologize for defending myself. I'm still mad."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjiinlw?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">justice-knifeblade</a></p>
The Unicycle Budget<p>"Our elementary school was heavy into unicycles. Gym class year round was learning to ride, then ride together, and in formation."</p><p>"I was one of the unlucky few who never got it (I can't dance or ride a bike either, so I suspect there's some balance issues)."</p><p>"School all but threatened to hold me back a year until I learned how. Everyone forgot and never picked it up again as soon as they moved to middle school."</p><p>"Worst part is that we were a very poor school in a very rural area without much funding. I can't imagine how much the school spent on those unicycles. There was no sponsorship, and we weren't competing in anything."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjgybtf?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">sezah</a></p>
A Bizarre Exercise<p>"Not exactly something they teach in general, but in my high school music class, we had to memorize our national anthem in a different language (we used to be a colony and it was originally written in the colonizer's language.)"</p><p>"And then sing it out loud with the same melody and all, except you're parroting a bunch of words that you don't understand. Over a decade later and I still think it was a pointless exercise"</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjh1snm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">BlizzardousBane</a></p>
Egg Baby<p>"how to 'take care of a baby' by"</p><ol><li>bringing in an egg</li><li>having the teacher sign the egg</li><li>decorating, protecting, and carrying the egg at all times for two days</li><li>revealing to the teacher at the end of day 2 that the egg was still in tact, without cracks.</li></ol><p>"all that taught me was how to take care of an egg."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjia5r2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">archikat007</a></p>
Sport Facts<p>"In Phys Ed they had us take actual written tests a few times sitting on the gym floor. Questions like where was basketball invented, what are the rules of pickle, yadda yadda, other useless sh**." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjgqyxo?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">GummyZerg</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"That's the kind of bullsh** that happens when the only way to prove you're doing something is to provide data."</p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Teachers are forced to do things which generate data because the traditional outcomes don't provide enough evidence for someone at the state or distinct admin office to know you're doing your job." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjh7qnm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Beeb294</a></p>
The Definition of Busy Work<p>"When I was in primary school we got taught about digital roots, it's where you take a number, add up all the digits and repeat if you have more than 1 digit, so 684 = 6+8+4 = 18 = 1 + 8 = 9."</p><p>"Nobody else has ever heard of this."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjh998n?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">emu404</a></p>
If Only Bullies Valued My Opinion<p>"That if someone's bullying you you tell them that you don't like it. like no sh**, that's why they do it." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjhzzcd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">dr_pepper_cans</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"My grandmother used to tell my dad, my brothers, and me 'If someone hits you, tell them you don't like to get hit!' Most useless piece of advice that has been taught to society." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjido7g?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ZIONSCROLLS</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"The only thing that ever helped me with bullies at that age, was fighting back. I tried everything else. But the teachers punished me more than the bullies for it, they'd always say 'it doesn't matter who started it' - which is f***ing bullsh**. I'm still mad." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjie14y?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">yas_yas</a></p>
Keep Those Clavicles Covered<p>"That if we cover our shoulders and legs boys will stop looking at us" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjh828n?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">shlee_e</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"As a guy this rule just taught me that bare shoulders are provocative and now I get all flustered seeing a cute girl in something showing her shoulders. This clearly didn't work as intended." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjhy9zj?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Lunarskies92</a></p>
Useful Lessons<p>"I don't know, but if they don't start teaching people how to spot fake news soon, we're all gonna be living under dictatorships." -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjgs84h?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">thegoatwrote</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"All of us learned to do research papers in school, but how many of us made the jump to doing any kind of basic research in the real world?" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjgtiwy?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">somebodys_mom</a></p><p style="margin-left: 20px;">"Broadly speaking, that's called the humanities, and it's been grossly under-appreciated and under-funded for decades at this point" -- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kyjyut/what_is_the_most_fucking_useless_thing_that_they/gjh93d4?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">jman939</a></p>
Parents Break Down The Creepiest Stories Their Children Have Ever Told Them About Their Imaginary Friend
Kids say some seriously whacky stuff sometimes, it can be disturbing, especially when they tend to discuss people who are not there. When the imagination is heading into "The Sixth Sense" territory, it may be time for a visit to the therapist. Now almost all of us had imaginary friends at one point in life. It is a very normal, common part of childhood. But much like the real friends in corporeal form we make in life, sometimes certain relationships are toxic and not a good influence. And separation is called for.
Redditor u/xX_ENTROPY_Xx wanted to hear about people's children's besties that they haven't laid eyes on by asking..... What's the scariest story you heard a child tell about their "imaginary friend"?
Hit the Road Jack<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTQ5ODc3Ni9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyOTQ2NzI1MX0.HiRUuA-6ls5ZaDhMgKjVGIBHbbEkYwYbArx7__1WMuM/img.gif?width=980" id="1d873" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="2c6191d7bdb53d10f0538390a2296695" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="270" data-height="480" />Terrifying Trick Or Treat GIF by CameoGiphy<p>My oldest when she was 4. She had an imaginary friend named Jack who lived under our back porch. And he liked to shove sticks down people's throats. I discouraged playtime with Jack. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbg0l/whats_the_scariest_story_you_heard_a_child_tell/gjo9us1?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">RyeDoll13</a><span></span></p>
Monkey & Cowboy<p>My son was 2-3 and always had a bunch of imaginary friends. The most frequently mentioned were Monkey boy and the cowboy. When my son was 2 he woke up one night screaming. I ran in his room and he was terrified. He kept pointing at the corner and saying that Monkey boy was bad. I ended up picking my son up and putting him in bed to sleep with me. The next time he was 3 and we were taking a walk with his younger sister in the stroller. </p>
Mean Don....<p>When my daughter was a toddler she randomly started talking about a man named Don. She always described him the same way and didn't seem scared at all, despite bringing him up every day. She didn't go to daycare and we didn't know anyone named Don. Then one day she got completely freaked out, wouldn't walk around the house alone in case she ran into Don, wouldn't sleep in her own room, and would talk about how she hated him because he said "mean words" to her all the time. About a year into "mean Don" we bought a new house. Once we moved she never spoke of him again. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbg0l/whats_the_scariest_story_you_heard_a_child_tell/gjo7igo?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">sciencenerd86</a><span></span></p>
Ganga<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTQ5ODc4MC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyNjI4MjE1MH0.9GDHqR0I7GhnpzV49VS29OY95DYaFjvhy5BJL2b2erw/img.gif?width=980" id="f19cb" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="1ab4fb0446e406094d5a66bce4dc2e88" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="395" data-height="350" />creepy toilet GIFGiphy<p>My son had this imaginary friend - Ganga. She lived in the nearby pond, had duck feet, hair all over her face, ate through a slit in her neck and we were expecting her any minute for dinner.</p><p>He was totally chill with this horrific monster idea, yet he had recurring nightmares about a puppy coming into his room. Kids are weird.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbg0l/whats_the_scariest_story_you_heard_a_child_tell/gjo2bbw?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Why_So_Slow</a></p>
Humpty?<p>My youngest niece had an imaginary friend and when my sister told me about it she said "ask her what she looks like"</p><p>"Ok, what's she look like?"</p><p>"Broken pieces."</p><p>"...Oh.. why's she broken sweetie?"</p><p>"She fell from our tree"</p><p>Nope. Sorry sis you're on your own. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbg0l/whats_the_scariest_story_you_heard_a_child_tell/gjo1o5t?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">DarthSangheili</a><span></span></p>
Mooky likes to Watch<p>My cousin was a few years younger than me and he had an imaginary friend called 'Mooky'.</p><p>Mooky wasn't human, but some kind of alien/monster thing.</p><p>Used to freak me out when I'd hear a noise behind me at my grandparents house and my cousin would calmly say "It's only Mooky, he just wants to see you." </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbg0l/whats_the_scariest_story_you_heard_a_child_tell/gjnlngq?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Gemski13</a></p>
I Know Her<p>So maybe not scary but definitely weird.</p><p>When I was little I claimed to have an imaginary friend, who had light brown hair and wore a night gown, and she had stars for eyes.</p><p>Well, my niece was living at my old childhood home and she told me that she has a friend who misses me and she asked why I went away. When I asked who, she described my old imaginary friend. It was super spooky.</p><p><em>Edit:</em> I have been informed that this is scary, my apologies. </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbg0l/whats_the_scariest_story_you_heard_a_child_tell/gjo4bvp?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">StarDustAndLus</a></p>
In the Fire<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTQ5ODc4Mi9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY2OTM4NzMyMX0.zj9afEPNCvRk6Xccb3-7bD8BPTadAujh2UhRdSDr1M0/img.gif?width=980" id="a3047" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="bdc5569341d7e043e11a13feed0de23d" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="337" data-height="253" />evil smile GIFGiphy<p>My cousin had an imaginary friend who she said used to live in the fireplace and "was red and patchy" - as if she was burnt. Apparently she was a little girl who wore funny clothes that "looked like olden day clothes". Still spooks me out! </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbg0l/whats_the_scariest_story_you_heard_a_child_tell/gjo5fxh?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">babizzo</a></p>
The Lonely<p>My son stopped talking to his imaginary friend for months after my nephew, who was 15, took his own life. My son, who was not quite 5, was the apple of his eye. My nephew treated my son like a little brother, and since his mom watched my son while I worked, they spent tons of time together.</p>
Bless Us<img lazy-loadable="true" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8yNTQ5ODc4My9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTY1MDYzMzU1OH0.28HKUz3_fnNIDrVbRqw6qUGa8raZxutETJzbi4913rY/img.gif?width=980" id="98edd" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="327b4f9d5321f2f8be2826c162782ead" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image" data-width="476" data-height="268" />The Exorcist GIF by filmeditorGiphy<p>A kid said he didn't want to go to church because "my invisible friend says he cant follow me in there." </p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/kzbg0l/whats_the_scariest_story_you_heard_a_child_tell/gjo4up5?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">Rook_45</a><span></span></p>
Be careful what you wish for, you just may get it. That is one of the wisdoms of life that people are always throwing around. It can be especially true when meeting your idols, finding your dream job and searching down blood relatives you knew nothing about. The DNA discovery craze has been all the rage the past decade or so. Everyone is running around contacting family they never knew they had. That can be quite the Pandora's box of family secrets and scandal.The outcomes have been all over the place. Though one of the best led to the discovery of the Golden State killer so that's a win.Redditor u/VideoFork wanted to know who would be willing to give up some salacious tea about their blood tie discoveries by asking..... People who have taken an ancestry DNA test and accidentally uncovered a family secret, what was it?