When my brother was about 10, he almost killed himself trying to act out a fight sequence from the Mortal Kombat movie. I laughed (which I got grounded for) - but in my defense he totally yelled "GET OVER HERE!" before he fell.
So we were leaving the movie theater and my brother is about as hyped as you'd expect a sugar-high child who just saw a cartoonishly violent martial arts film to be. He spots a railing and decides he is going to try to reenact the Johnny Cage/Scorpion fight scene - but he's gonna be all the characters because I'm a lame sister who doesn't want to play. (see also: get punched repeatedly)
He climbs the railing, makes it to the top and shouts out Scorpion's tag line, "Get over here!" Which ensures a whole parking lot full of recent movie-goers turns to face him.
It's important to note that my brother had been training in martial arts for several years at that point and his form was impeccable. So he pulled back his arm and threw a proper punch, pivoting on the ball of his foot and rotating at the hips to throw his body weight into it.
Like so:
get over here mortal kombat GIF
Giphy
Except he was standing on top of wet railing - round wet railing. The hip twist flung his feet out from under him with enough force to flip him into the air like a pancake and send him slamming to the ground.
I swear y'all I saw him falling in slow-mo like with dramatic classical music and everything; the crowd slowly gasping, reaching out in vain, trying to warn him to just not be so dangerously awesome.
But it was too late. His rat-tail flapped in the wind as he plummeted.
One Reddit user asked:
What's the dumbest way you injured yourself? Either as a kid or adult?
And so now you have a whole article full of ... this stuff. Enjoy the laughs. You probably won't get grounded, but if you do it'll be totally worth it. Take it from me.
Bugs Are Yucky
My dumbest was when I was trimming trees. I saw a nasty looking bug on my left arm and tried to swat it off with my right hand while still holding the saw... there was a lot of blood.
- ehberg
Burger Buns
Giphy
Okay this happened when I was 17. Me and my boyfriend were hanging out at the time and it was really late and I was searching for something to eat. I found a bun and needed to cut it open. I looked around and could only find the biggest knife in the kitchen.
So I decided to hold the bread with one hand and use the knife with the other kinda holding both in the air ( why idk why) and sliced right through the bun straight into my hand. I was in so much shock I could only call for my boyfriend just holding my now gushing bleeding hand. He came in freaking out and I had to stay calm even though I just sliced straight through my hand.
My parents were wasted and my dad tried to tie a fluffy sock around my hand. When he did that I tried screaming but nothing came out it was terrible. In the end I somehow got to the doctors and I got a burger after so hey I'm an idiot.
Checking Form
I was trying to film myself bench pressing to check my form, but from a bird's eye view. So I put my iPhone hanging off the edge of a bar directly above where I was laying and started recording.
Forgot to take into consideration, that when I re-rack the bar, it's going to shake the home gym setup I have. Well it did, and the phone came down directly onto the bridge of my nose. It was the corner of the phone that hit me and opened up a small gash but it was deep, and bled A LOT.
The video was me benching, the phone crashing into my face and then onto the ground, then a very audible "AH FCK!".. I deleted it out of embarrassment right after and I really wish I kept it.
I still have a small scar there years later, derp.
Leather Cleaner
Back in High School, I used to bear crawl around the track for a workout. This lead to a seriously gnarly blister that covered my entire palm.
I went to a friend's place and we were trying to play Xbox, but I couldn't grip the controller. So I ripped the blister completely off, leaving a completely raw palm, and washed all the liquid away. I asked him he if had any antibiotics spray to clean it.
We checked, and the closest thing he had was leather cleaner that said "kills 99.99% of germs!"
So I'm like, yeah that seems legit. Sprayed it on my hand, and all's I remember is hearing the hiss it made on my skin before I blacked out and hit my head off the table. Didn't have a concussion or anything, but had a headache for a few hours.
Safety Phrases
I worked as a loader for UPS in the late 1990, the semi trucks, not the brown trucks. We had little "Safety Phrases" we were supposed to follow, courtesy of OSHA. One was, "do not lift packages by straps or bands."
Who follows the safety phrases?
I lifted a heavy package by the plastic straps. Both straps simultaneously snapped. I punched myself in the nose with all my strength. My nose exploded with blood. Of course, my load partner nearly injured himself laughing his @ss off.
- fendaar
Scarred By Chef
Ravioli can. It was the pull tab type but it wouldn't come off easily and I gripped it near the top to hold it down. Finally the lid released but it did so quickly and ended up slicing my left index finger/knuckle open. What had happened is the metal lid had extra ridges in the front, so it wasn't properly cut at the factory, and those little teeth tore into my hand.
I have about an inch long scar over my knuckle, it's faded over the years but Chef Boyardee has branded me for life.
Coffee In The Morning
Giphy
Came out to make coffee in the morning. Thought I could feel heat coming from the stove. Touched the hotplate with the back of my hand to see what was going on. Second degree burn. Yep! Left it on the night before.
9 year-old EMT's
I got a cut on my leg from furniture and my 9 year old friend decided the best way was to hot-glue it shut. 9 year olds should never do first aid.
Shower Shenanigans
Was taking a shower at a hotel. Tried to squeeze conditioner out of the little travel bottles they give you. But it wasn't a squeeze bottle, it was one of the ones you just have to bang against your hand until the conditioner comes out. Lo and behold, I try to squeeze the bottle with soapy hands. It shoots out and hits me in the eye. Literally knocked myself out. My eye swelled shut. Good times.
Not A Heart Attack
I over work myself. I ripped the cartilage lining in my chest from moving to many heavy drums. I moved around 300x50lbs drums. Pulling them off pallets and restacking them. Next day my chest was sore. Didn't think about it. Went and moved a bunch of 125lb drums. Again next day chest really hurt. Next day filled a 20 yard dumpster with pallets. Next day massive sharp pains in my chest.
Thought I was having heart problems. Went to the doctor. Heart checked out fine. I try doing certain movement. Agonizing pain. Tells me it'll take 3-6 months to heal.
Me being stupid, I kept working plus doing things in the weekend. Took over 2 years to heal.
Biscuits
Kneeled on a broken biscuit that was hidden in the carpet, 3 stitches in the knee. It had probably been sitting on the floor for a month. That sht is sharper than it looks when they're broken up.
Immediate Failure
Giphy
When I was 12 my dad got me a brand new katana. It was just steel and cost maybe a hundred bucks. My dad said to only take it out when he's supervising. He handed it to me and my dumb ass head decided to press my thumb on the blade and slide it across. The scream was ear rape.
Buzz Lightyear
When I was like 3 or 4, my dad was mopping the floor in the living room, and I was sitting on the couch and mt dad told me not to walk on the floor because it was wet. At the time of this, I had a buzz lightyear doll that had those attachable wings, and I had left it on the ground.
I went to pick it up off the floor, and surprisingly it wasn't too slippery, so I attached the wings to buzz, then the stupid 3 year old in me kicked in and I started running around the living room with buzz in my hand (like he was flying). That's when I slipped in an almost cartoon like fashion onto my leg. I thought I was ok, because at the time I didn't feel any pain, so everything was fine.
Well, a couple days later whilst at my baby sitter's, she reported to my parents that I was limping. Long story short, they took me to the hospital for an x-ray, and it turns out I had a hairline fracture in my right leg. They put a cast on me and sent us off.
A Painful Lesson Not Learned
At the age of ten I was in a playground and wanted to go down the slide. To get faster I put sand under my butt. I got so fast that I flew out of the slide, landed on the concrete floor and broke my coccyx.
The worst thing was that I tried it again a year later and broke my coccyx for the second time.
Chasing Deer
15 years old, decided that it was a good idea to bike as fast as I could after a deer. Long story short I rode the edge of the sidewalk, and caught my tires, flopping myself face first into the sidewalk.
Stood up and said "I'm fine" but my friends were all looking at me weird. Turns out I absolutely tore my chin in half and bled all over the sidewalk. Got 16 stitches in my chin, still a nice scar that gives me a good laugh whenever I look at it.
Nightmare
Had a nightmare in which i was being chased by a dog. So just before it bit me I threw a punch which woke me up ... because I had hit the wall next to my bed so hard i cut my knuckles' skin open with the rough texture of the wall's plaster.
I bled quite a lot and almost broke my fingers.
Do you have something to confess to George? Text "Secrets" or "
" to +1 (310) 299-9390 to talk to him about it.
For many childhood memories are overrun by living nightmares.
Yes, children are resilient, but that doesn't mean that the things we see as babes don't follow us forever.
The horrors of the world are no stranger to the young.
Redditor -2sweetcaramel- wanted to see who was willing to share about the worst things we've seen as kids, so they asked:
"What’s the creepiest thing you saw as a kid?"
Serious Danger
"Me and my best friend would explore the drainage tunnels under the Vegas area where we grew up. These were miles long and it was always really cool down there so it was a good way to escape the heat of our scorching hot summers. We went into this one that goes under the Fiesta casino and found a camp with a bunch of homeless people."
"Mind you we are like 11 years old lol. And we just kept going like it was nothing. It wasn’t scary then but when I look back at it we could have been in some serious danger. Our parents had no idea we did this or where we were and we had no cellphones. We could have been kidnapped and never have been found."
oofboof2020
Waiting for Food
"I was at a portillos once when I was 12 and I was waiting with my little brother at a booth while my parents got our food. This guy was standing with his tray kind of watching me then after a couple of minutes he started to walk over really fast not breaking eye contact with me."
"He was 2 feet from the table and my dad came out of nowhere and scared the s**t out of him. He looked so surprised and just said he wanted to see if I’d get scared or not. He left his tray full of food near the door and left. My folks reported him but we never went to that location again since we found a better one closer to home."
nowhereboy1964
Captain Hobo to the Rescue
"When I was a pretty young teen, my friends and I were horsing around in San Francisco and started hanging out to smoke with some homeless guys. Another homeless dude came up and began aggressively trying to shake us down for anything (money, smokes, a ride, drugs- all of it) and wouldn’t take no for an answer."
"We got in over our heads and could tell this guy was now riling the other 2 guys up and they were acting like they wanted to jump us. Some grandfather-looking old homeless man appeared out of nowhere and yelled at us to get the f**k out of here- nice kids like us don’t belong down here at this hour!!"
"Captain Hobo saved our lives that night. My parents sincerely thought we were at a mall all day lol."
FartAttack911
Survival
tsunami GIF
Giphy
"I was 7 and survived the 2004 tsunami in Thailand. Witnessed the wave rise way above the already massive palm trees (approx. 40ft?) and my family and I watched/heard the wave crash into the ground from a rooftop."
faithfulpoo
These Tsunami stories are just tragic.
On the Sand
Scared The Launch GIF by CTV
Giphy
"We were a group of kids who went to swim in a local lake. And there was a dead body on the beach with their hands raised and their legs bent unnaturally that local police just took out of the same lake. I've never put my foot in these waters again."
oyloff
Be Clever
"I was walking to school and I was about 5 or 6 years old and some guy pulled up beside me in his car and asked if I would get in. He also offered me sweets to do so. I said no. The creepy bit was when he calmly said ‘clever boy’ to me, then drove off. I’ve never even told my parents or anyone else about this as it would most likely freak them out."
OstneyPiz
Bad Jokes
"Dad's side of the family pranked me by burying a fake body on our back property and had me dig it up to find valuables. Was only allowed to use a lantern for light. They stuffed old clothes with chicken bones. Sheetrock mud where the head was... Random fake jewelry as the treasures... I was like maybe 10 or 11.. I remember digging up the boot first and started gagging because it became real at that point."
Alegan239
YOU
Who Are You Reaction GIF by MOODMAN
Giphy
"Woke up to find my little brother staring at me in the dark, asking, Are you really you?"
PrettyLola2004
Siblings can really be a bunch of creepers.
No one should talk to others in the dark though.
Not all pet owners have the same relationship with their pets.
While anyone who decides to become a pet owner, or pet parent as some say, love their pets equally, some never ever let them leave their side.
Taking their pet with them to work, running errands, even on vacations.
Many pet parents even allow their pets to share their bed with them when going to sleep.
For others though, this is where a line is finally drawn.
Redditor Piggythelavasurfer was curious to hear whether pet owners allowed their pets to share their bed with them, as well as the reasons why they do/don't, leading them to ask:
"Do you let your pet sleep in your bed? Why/why not?"
The Tiny Issue Of Water...
"Absolutely not."
"I have fish."- Senior-Meal3649
Everyone Gets Lonely Eventually...
"I adopted an eleven year old cat the day before Halloween."
"She has mostly lived in my closet since I got her, and she hasn’t been too interested in coming out."
"Last night, she came out of my closet and jumped up on my bed, and crawled under my covers and curled up by my feet to sleep."
"I was so happy!"- YellowBeastJeep
The Comforting Reminder That You're Not Alone...
"I recently lost my Greyhound but I used to let him sleep on my bed with me."
"The company was nice and he was no trouble to have on my bed."- HoodedMenace3
Hungry Cookie GIF by De Graafschap Dierenartsen
Giphy
What Do You Mean Allow?
"I have no choice."
"She is a cat, cats do whatever they want."- Small_cat1412
"He lets me sleep in my bed."- Poorly-Drawn-Beagle
Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way
"I carry my old boy upstairs to bed every night."- worst_in_show
Hug GIF by The BarkPost
Giphy
Who Needs An Alarm Clock?
"I let my two cats sleep with me."
"They're so full of love and just want cuddles all the time."
"And so do I."
"We've all developed a lil routine."
"Get to bed, oldest sleeps on my feet to keep them warm, youngest lies in my arm while I lie on my side (she the little spoon), then when I snooze my alarm for work in the morning the youngest paws at my face and meeps loudly to wake me up."- GhostofaFlea_
Whose Bed Is It Anyway?
"Yes."
"They're also kind enough to let me squeeze into whatever space they've left for me."
"Although I do get a few dirty looks off them."- Therealkaylor
"I found this tiny kitten screaming her head off under a car."
"Would not come out."
"Got some food and some water in dishes."
"I stood by the tire so she couldn't see my feet."
"She got curious about the food and water and started gobbling it down."
"I thought she would bolt when I squatted down."
"She was too busy eating."
"I grabbed her by the nape of the neck and all four legs went straight out and she tried to scratch me to death."
"I got her in the door and tossed her toward the couch."
"She ricocheted off the couch as if she was a ping pong off a table and I lost sight of her."
"I put out food and water and a sandbox and did not see that kitten for three days."
"On the third day, I came home and she was on my bed pillow."
"I thought she would bolt when I came near, but she didn't."
"I wanted to sleep so I tried to scoot her little butt off my pillow."
"She would not go."
"I put my head down to sleep and that is the way it was from then on."
"She ran the roost."- Logical_Cherry_7588
sleepy kitten GIF
Giphy
Sleeping Is A Prerequisite...
"No, he's a cat and he cannot keep still during the night."
"He walks across the headboard, opens the closet doors, jumps into the windows and rustles the blinds, etc."
"If he would sleep he could stay, but alas, he's a ramblin' man."- Spong_Durnflungle
Saying No Just Isn't An Option...
"'Let'."
"Lol."
"It's a cat's world and I'm happy to be on her good side."- milaren
Felines Only!
"The cat does, the dog doesn't and the horse certainly does not either."- Xcrowzz
Angry Tom And Jerry GIF by Boomerang Official
Giphy
Is That My Hair On That Pillow?
"My dog is perfect."
"She comes up, cuddles til we start to fall asleep, then gets down to sleep on her bed so she doesn't get too hot."
"Jumps back up in the early morning for wake up cuddles."
"The hair everywhere is the only downside but she is so cozy, what can you do."- HoodieWinchester
It is easy to understand how some people are able to fall asleep more easily knowing their friend and protector is there, in bed, with them.
Though we can't blame others who don't want to run the risk of being scratched or bitten in the middle of the night either...