It's scary to have a medical issue.... any medical issue. But we can't be afraid to be honest. In order for our healthcare providers to truly help us we have to be upfront. We can't hide small facts because the devil is in the details. Getting better and staying healthier requires some cold, hard truths.
So the doctors start discussing some fibbing on Quora by asking...
It starts at the Shoulder....Giphy
The guy had a dislocated shoulder. You could plainly see it on the X-ray and you could easily tell by examination. According to the chart, this was the second time he had been in the ER that week for the same complaint. That is not all that unusual because once a shoulder is dislocated, it can become pretty unstable which causes it to dislocate again with very little trauma. The story was a little strange though. He told us that it happened again because he took off his sling in order to pour a bowl of cereal. The motion of tipping over a half gallon of milk to fill his bowl caused the dislocation today. He seemed to be in excruciating pain.
There was nothing to do but reduce the dislocation. There are a number of ways to do this but all of the most effective ones require sedation and with the amount of pain he seemed to be having there was really no other option. He was connected to the monitors and a nurse came in to help monitor him. I also had a tech in the room and a medical student to teach and also help with the procedure in the event it became physically difficult to perform. It took a lot of pain medicine to sedate him to the right level. In fact, almost twice as much as I expected. Even after that much medicine every time we started to pull on his arm he would cry out in pain. So, he got more medicine. After he was appropriately sedated, his shoulder was extremely easy to reduce. We wrapped him up in a sling and got a post-reduction X-ray to make sure everything was back to normal, and he was placed in his treatment room until we could arrange a follow-up with an orthopedic surgeon.
I went back in the room to talk to him about his follow-up and the need to see a surgeon to be evaluated and he was screaming in pain. He told me his shoulder just dislocated on its own right before I walked in. Another X-ray and sure enough, it was dislocated again. We go through the whole process again and he is discharged this time. However, he ends up coming right back in to the ER because he said his shoulder dislocated while trying to get into his car. So, he gets placed back in a room and we prepare to do it all over again.
At this point, one of the ER techs comes up to me and tells me sheepishly that she was outside hiding to have a smoke break when she sees our patient come out and have a cigarette nearby. She watches him as he pulls his arm out of socket then continues to watch him as he walks back into the ER. I confronted the patient and he initially denied it but ultimately admitted that he could dislocate his own shoulder. He had kept doing it that day because he wanted long-acting sedating medications not the Propofol we had been giving him.
This was incredibly dangerous. As my anesthesia colleagues will tell you, conscious sedation in the ER is not an ideal environment. It is fraught with hazards including aspiration, circulatory collapse and airway occlusion. Pretty much any lie a patient tells their doctor places them at risk but this sort of lie is Russian roulette. Robert F
My Due Date.
"My due date was a week ago."
I had a patient come in to labor and delivery. She reported that she had received prenatal care in another state, and so she was assigned to me since I was taking unassigned call that day.
She said she wasn't feeling the baby move, and that her due date was a week ago. She was very insistent that she needed an induction of labor.
I performed an ultrasound which showed a baby that was moving, but was measuring extremely small for a full-term baby.
This could represent fetal growth restriction and poor oxygenation in a full-term baby. Growth restriction at term would be an indication to go ahead and deliver.
But her story was confusing. She couldn't give us a clear answer of exactly where she was getting prenatal care, which was a problem because we wanted to obtain and review her records.
Ultimately we took a guess and called the nearby large tertiary hospital to see if she had ever been seen there. She had been. In fact she had been coming in every day complaining of contractions or bleeding or decreased fetal movement (there was never any evidence for this). She had been requesting for weeks to have a baby because she was tired of being pregnant.
She was barely 32 weeks.
Each time she had requested delivery, someone had explained the importance of not having a premature baby if possible and all of the medical risks that it would entail for the baby.
So she decided she would try her luck at another hospital and tell them she was full-term.
She was indignant and irate when confronted.
If she had managed to convince us, her baby would likely have spent a month or more in the hospital, receiving multiple blood draws and IVs and oxygen, risking multiple chronic medical conditions for the duration of the child's life, and could have even died. And this hospital stay would have been to the tune of multiple hundreds of thousands of dollars.
I'd say that was a pretty dangerous lie. Lacy W
Reading Robert Frantz story reminded me of a similar incidence.
I was on call for Orthopedic and Trauma on a Friday night in a seaside town north of England.
The Accident and Emergency guy pages me.
He says, "Listen Boris, I have this guy with achondroplastic dwarfism (what Tyrion Lannister has in Game of Thrones). He has an anterior shoulder dislocation that does not want to stay in place, no matter how many times I pop it in."
So I go down to the Accident department. See this guy lying there puffing on Entonox (nitrous oxide, aka laughing gas, plus oxygen).
He did not seem to be in pain and was puffing the gas as if it was a Shisha. Nitrous oxide reduces pain but does not stop it.
Well I gave the shoulder a pull into place. Kept him in a special sling and was standing with the A&E doctor chatting. From the corner of my eye, I notice the patient loosening the straps of the sling and effortlessly popped his shoulder out again. Fastened back the straps and shouted from pain.
I walked up to him and took away the gas mask. He looks at me, takes off the shoulder brace. Clicks his shoulder back in and walks out without a word.
A couple of weeks later, the A&E doctor was locuming (moonlighting) at a hospital in Manchester. He walks into a treatment area and sees the same guy there again, puffing gas, with another A&E doctor scratching his head. He walks over to say hi - and the patient leaves.
In this case it was a time and cost waster (free healthcare in the UK). Not really dangerous as even if the patient is hooked on nitrous oxide they cannot overdose on it in hospital.
The dangerous one I remember was a guy, with back pain, that faked cauda equina symptoms. This is an emergency when the spinal discs pop out, crashing nerves in the spine. If the pressure is not removed, the symptoms become permanent (e.g. like a leaking bladder or leaky anus).
He went to his General Practitioner with his lower back pain asking to be referred to hospital. The GP refused. He told him that Orthopedics will only see him if he has possible cauda equina. So what does he do? Checks up the symptoms and goes to A&E.
Naturally Orthopaedics is called in and we requested an urgent MRI. We do get false positives which the MRI clears up. Unfortunately for him, the report was inconclusive. However, he has the symptoms and so we start getting him ready for surgery.
We explained everything to him. He looked blankly at us and refused to sign the consent. We left him to think about it. Ten minutes later, the nurses called to tell us that he just walked out saying he was fine.
Imagine how much money he wasted. Sometimes I feel a bill needs to be sent out from the government to people like that. Boris E
The Wrong Pipe.
I'm a dentist anesthesiologist. I provide general anesthesia for dentists at the hospital I work at and in private dental offices. Some patients think since "it's just dentistry/teeth" that means the anesthesia is somehow "different." So, sometimes patients lie about the last time they ate or drank something. This dramatically increases the risk of gastric contents entering the lungs i.e. aspiration.
To undergo general anesthesia for dentistry requires the same loss of reflexes and muscle control as the depth of anesthesia necessary to facilitate tonsillectomy or appendectomy.
General anesthesia results in obtunding the airway reflexes so if something were to "go down the wrong pipe" instead of coughing wildly a patient would have the contents pour into the larynx, trachea, and lungs without the vocal cords protectively shutting. General anesthesia also lowers muscle tone. One such weakened muscle is the cardiac sphincter between the esophagus and stomach. A relaxed cardiac sphincter allows gastric contents up the esophagus where they may pour into the lungs. So, general anesthesia lowers your defenses at the stomach level and the larynx level. This increases the risk of aspiration, which may be deadly.
A full stomach changes a low risk, straightforward induction (the process of putting someone to sleep) into a special high risk, emergency induction. There is a special method of induction called rapid sequence induction (RSI) for emergency patients that must be put to sleep even though they have food in their stomach. RSI lowers the risk of aspiration, but if a patient lies about having eaten, it is the worst of all worlds: they are at high risk and I'm not delaying the case and I'm making things worse by performing a routine induction instead of RSI.
I've had patients I've anesthetized more than once violate their NPO guidelines (when you can have nothing by mouth) the second time. I've had a parent feed the second or third sibling who requires general anesthesia after the other siblings had anesthesia without issue. I think it's because they figured since it went so well the first time, then "going to sleep" must not be a big deal.
I keep the suction on and close for every induction, and run drills with all staff to turn right and tilt down/trendelenburg. I get the patients deep and intubate asap, but I always worry they aren't taking their anesthesia "seriously."
To be fair, this happened sometimes in my dental anesthesia residency, and the patients would be coming in for hysterectomies, thoracotomies, gastric bypass, etc. It's just part of the work, but I can't think of a more impactful lie with such catastrophic and acute consequences. John H
Don't Be Difficult!Giphy
As a psychiatric social worker in an emergency room I am used to patients lying. Most lies have to do with sex and drugs but often patients lie about taking their medications as directed or exercising and modifying their lifestyle to prevent or accommodate a diagnosis. Many patients even with the advent of Obamacare still use the ER as their primary care physician. Maybe for convenience. Maybe because most likely they will see a different doctor on each visit and are easier able to manipulate for drugs and or some other secondary gain.
In my ER we had a "difficult patient" list and the social worker and physicians made a case plan and put that in the patient's chart. That way all the physicians were on the same page and we were "protected" from patients who were not sincere in their presentation. That allowed us to make an appropriate referral for follow-up. Of course we were not so deluded to think that would always change a patient's behavior. Most often we suspected it just changed the patient's geography. They would stop coming to an ER with a plan and go to one that was easier to manipulate.
Patents will lie to get admitted because it is raining or they are out of alcohol/drug money or they are homeless or they are mad at their spouse.
That's why a smart hospital has a social worker available to help with assessments that are not purely medical but still take up a lot of time and energy and expensive and unnecessary treatments. The ER is one of the most expensive ways to care for patients. It is also one of the most misused areas of medicine. Any ER doc will tell you that. Robert L
I once had a patient who wanted to get out of my High Risk Ob clinic. She had been sent because she had been sensitized to the Rh factor. She was quite past any preventative value RHIG. Her level of sensitization was quite low
She stated that the father of the baby was known to be Rh negative, and that really did mean that she wouldn't need special care. I asked her if she slept with anybody else in February.
She had had sex very causally with some other guy at the very end of the month. But based on an appropriate very early scan she got pregnant in the last week of January. Now this was important. By all indications she had gotten pregnant by her Rh negative boy friend, and therefore the fetus had to Rh negative also.
She really didn't belong in a high risk clinic. We transferred her to the regular Ob clinic, with a an instruction to obtain tests for the degree of sensitization monthly.
The degree of sensitization never varied and she delivered a full term baby on the date predicted by the ultrasound. Good thing that she got pregnant by the Rh negative guy.
Got back the the blood type of baby, and she really really had been very lucky. The Rh positive baby had not kicked off all the possible problems. While trying to make certain that she got pregnant by her boyfriend she had lied about her sexual "calendar." Glenn H
It's Just Advil.
What medicines they are on, illicit drugs they are on, and the God Damn herbal supplements. Saying "Oh I took some Advil." Meanwhile they fail to say they took 24 Advil in 3 days. Saying they haven't taken any ASA or blood thinners and they have.
Saying they have quit smoking and they haven't.
Saying they haven't eaten then we prep for surgery and they confess LAST minute they have eaten
Also not including plastic surgery as part of their history. Elective surgery is STILL surgery. Also many older people are poor historians when asked about past medical and surgical procedures. Also their medication list I don't care if the pill was blue or red or pink- I need to know what it is.
For my Dad I laminated his medication card I listed the medicine, dose, route the DR who prescribed it etc…
If you want a LAUGH my Dad is the WORST at describing things, but the poor guy Wasn't born in the States. When asked for what test he went for he told me
They got me naked, put cold jelly on my back, hit me with a stick and then the DR came in an stuck his finger in my butt! I was cracking up. He actually had a Kidney ultrasound with a prostate exam LOL Poor Dad! Denise Veronica L
Mommy gave me the Chips!
Many years ago, I had a young boy patient coming for minor surgery. He was maybe four or five years old. The case was scheduled in the early afternoon. I confirmed with the mother that the child hadn't eaten anything since the night before, and then started wheeling him into the operating room. As we were on the way over, the boy tells me "Mommy gave me chips!"
I turned around and confronted the mother. She asked me if it was dangerous for the kid if he had eaten. I explained that when I put someone under anesthesia, the valves that keep food down in our stomach relax. If there's any food in the stomach, then that food plus stomach acid can end up in the patient's lungs, which can be extremely dangerous. She admitted to me that she had fed her son chips not too long ago.
She wasn't a bad mom. I place most of the blame on the surgeon, who put the mom in that situation. We usually try to schedule kids as the first case in the morning, because it's harder for them to go without eating.
I'm just so thankful that the kid blurted that out about the chips. I shudder to think what I might have done to him if he hadn't spoken up. Pooya J
Out of Stock.
For the MDs on the page… a patient story which might interest you…
Reading about the drug-seeking lies told to MDs on this page makes me realize why I have so often been treated with a hint of suspicion when telling doctors that I have ADHD (I do.)
However, even if I am slightly pained to be treated suspiciously by the occasional doctor or nurse, it is worse at pharmacies when traveling. One of my ADHD impulsive behaviors is going on spontaneous trips (I'm working on it, I promise), on occasion forgetting things including my stimulant meds (or enough stimulant meds). I have had pharmacies refuse to talk to me, lie about whether or not they can transfer my prescription (in-state), tell me they are "out of stock" (after someone on the phone told me they were not) and even flat-out accuse me of seeking drugs. The result: On one occasion, I needed the meds so much (to drive safely) that I ended up doing exactly what drug-seekers do: go from pharmacy to pharmacy around town. It made me feel so "dirty."
I try to understand their cause for caution, but it is frustrating that with so little information about me, they are turning me away with no rational basis for doing so - only guesswork based on bias, stereotype, or even misreading my ADHD symptoms as the physical or verbal behaviors of an addict. (jitteriness, pressured speech, visible distractedness.)
It is really quite a ridiculous situation. But I understand that addictions make people behave in ways they otherwise wouldn't. (How could I not empathize with that when ADHD sometimes pushes me to do things constantly I know I shouldn't?). Timothy W
I work in the addiction field, so while I always hope that the story I'm hearing is truthful, I am required to assume that it may NOT be. For example…
A patient may come to my practice and claim that no doctor is prescribing any other medications. That could cause me to prescribe the same thing and double the dose, or to prescribe something that interacts with the undisclosed medication. I can now check an online database to see other prescribers, but I have no way of knowing whether the person is taking the medication appropriately, or whether the person is using street drugs that are dangerous in combination with whatever I prescribe.
Patients sometimes seek out medications for inappropriate reasons, especially opioid pain relievers, benzodiazepines like Xanax or Klonopin, and stimulants like Adderall. It is very difficult to know whether a person actually has ADD or ODD or pain, or whether the person is exaggerating their symptoms to get the drugs. A person who lies in this context isn't necessarily in immediate danger, but IS at danger for developing severe addictions to those substances. And I'm sure many patients die from combinations of inappropriately - prescribed medications, particularly combinations of pain pills and benzodiazepines. Jeffrey J
I am Fine.
There are many answers here covering the gamut of misinformation to providers that are dangerous (I didn't read them all).
Another side of misinformation, especially in the older population, is that "I am fine." Underreporting of symptoms because they do not want to be a bother, or are scared of what it may mean if they tell the whole truth. Many have been living with symptoms for so long that they really do not really have a good reference. Or they think it is natural to have a pain or problem because they are older.
Many times, especially with established patients, I have been on the phone or seeing them in the office, and at first everything seems fine, no problem. Then with questioning a major problem is uncovered that they felt was ok or normal, or they were just going to wait to tell me at the next scheduled appointment.
Anyone that has been in practice for a length of time knows that psychology is a major part of what is learned when dealing with people in terms of health and quality of life. We know our speciality. Knowing what needs to be done and how to do it is often the easy part. Understanding the psychology of the patient and how they see and interact with the world can be far more difficult. Gregg E
Lay off the Coke...Giphy
People don't use cocaine as much as they did twenty or twenty five years ago, but those who do often show up in the ER with a fast heart rate, high blood pressure, and perhaps chest pain. They also seem to be unable to tell the difference between doctors and policemen, else they wouldn't feel the compunction to deny cocaine use.
Now, if you have a fast heart rate and an elevated blood pressure,especially if accompanied by chest discomfort, it's very tempting to administer beta-adrenergic blocking drugs…. unless you've been using cocaine, in which case the combination is likely to kill you.
And yet even when that's all explained, people will still deny the drug use, and refuse to give a specimen for a urine drug screen. They risk death in order to try to avoid the consequence, which would be my suggestion that they not do it again. Wilk D
Not a Doc. I was the lying patient. I was 15 and freshly entered the foster care system. Mt intake exam asked about suicidal thoughts or plans (I started to deliberately harm myself shortly before my 5th birthday; it distracted me a little from both the physical pain I was constantly provided with by my family.
At that intake I lied and said the self harm was not a temptation any more and I definitely was not suicidal. My foster parents very literally saved my life and taught me what I would need to know once I decided it was time to leave the nest (which didn't happen until I was 21).
Truth is I had been slowly stockpiling meds for months, and planned to use rubbing alcohol as a chaser. I eventually told my foster dad and gave him my stash.
Had the doctors believed my lie about being suicidal and about feeling safe at home I doubt I would have survived to be my 16th birthday. So docs and nurses, in a way I owe you my life because you recognized my lies for what they were. Jennifer
I'm not a doctor, but have worked with them most of my adult life.
One of the surgeons told me about his patient.
Before surgery, he asks about any medication and/or vitamins/supplements taken. None were indicated by the patient.
The surgeon goes in and performs surgery, the patient starts to bleed out. The nurse goes out and asks the mom again about medication and/or vitamins/supplements taken… nothing.
The patient was still bleeding out, the surgeon then goes out (leaving another surgeon in charge) and asks what the patient has been taking.
The mother then states she has been taking a supplement for weight loss, but was too embarrassed to tell the doctor.
This supplement almost caused the patient to lose her life because the physician didn't know how to counteract it. Had she have told her doctor what she had been taking this would have never had happened. Marie M
How Many Sips?
I can't say that a patient has ever told me a dangerous idea although I am sure there is a risk that it always could be. The most common lie is an alcoholic that denies drinking. It's a real issue to deal with they start into the DT's. They can display all kind of both physical and psychological symptoms. Perhaps the worst one is when they start getting paranoid and delusional. This can become dangerous if they become disoriented and don't remember where they are. It can easily progress into violent behavior. I would probably say that the biggest physical risk, not the common withdrawal symptoms, is to have a seizure and either hurt yourself or worse. Seizures that can't be controlled can lead to brain damage. Julia Watros H
My practice has been confined to out patient types of cases where lies do not result in danger to anyone!
Searching my memory room upstairs to find a suitable answer nearest to your question reminds me of a gentleman who was having a persistent urinary tract infection and despite my several interrogations denied having extra-marital sex. After his urine flow started to trickle instead of a flow, he sheepishly admitted to having an affair. He had contracted gonorrhoea. In addition to drugs he had to be referred to an urologist to get his urethral stricture dilated.
So, Dan Guerra, this is the MOST DANGEROUS lie that a patient has told me:)
D. Somanna Somanna G
I saw one young woman who assured me her abdominal pain could not be anything to do with pregnancy. I explained how important this question was and asked again. She had never had sex at all she told me. She could not be pregnant. I was still suspicious so we checked for an ectopic pregnancy and pelvic infections.
I might have believed her but then she could have died from her ectopic and even if she survived been infertile from the Pelvic Inflammatory disease. She had both problems!
There are a number of rude adages about assuming every young woman is pregnant until proved otherwise but this dangerous situation is the reason for doctors cynicism about patients statements when dealing with a abdo pains. Stephen N
Well this happened last year. I was posted in medicine department. A patient was admitted for consuming rodent poison. Once he was stabilized, we decided to do a mental status assessment so we can further refer him for counseling to psychiatry because it was a case attempted suicide according to us.
But that person kept on insisting that he drank the poison mistakenly considering it to be water because it was too dark at night. Days went by but he just won't admit. There's a huge risk of further suicide attempts in case of such failed ones. Talking about it and what led to such decision helps that person come to peace with their problem but here he just won't budge. Apoorva S
I'm not a doctor but worked for them for many years. We had a woman patient who had cancer, was on oxygen, drank heavily and. . . smoked.
She shared with us that she used her oxygen and smoked at her apartment. She, as most who drink a lot, minimized her alcohol use. She was placed on hospice, meaning it was anticipated she would pass away in 6 months (of course people do live beyond that time in many cases). I got a phone call from her several years later, swearing and abusive as she always was, and said yes it is me, Suzi. I'm still here! I almost fell off of my chair! Suzi S
I am a dental assistant but still want to answer. Years ago the dentist I work for removed a tooth from a child. We gave the mom the tooth in a cute tooth box. When she got to the front desk she refused to pay saying the dentist never took the tooth out. Turned out she stuck the tooth back in the socket so she wouldn't have to pay her $5 co-pay. That kid was sick for weeks after. Nancy S
Any other doctors have a yarn to spin?
We aren't perfect. There's plenty of things in our pasts that we look back and cringe at.
That being said, sometimes those cringe moments go far past cringe. Sometimes they get to the point of no return awfulness because that's where our human nature took us in this moment.
He's Not Dead<p>When I was 17 my brother walked into a room where I was lying down on my back and stamped on my chest. </p><p>I saw red and stood up and punched him square in the face, unfortunately this was in a doorway in front of a staircase, which he fell down backwards and when he hit the wall at the bottom folded up in such a way I thought I'd killed him. </p><p>He didn't move for what seemed like forever and I was certain he was dead, the world just spinning out around me. </p><p>He wasn't dead, obviously, but knocked out briefly and he never laid a finger on me again, after being the kind of nasty bully who had spent much of my childhood just randomly beating on me for his own enjoyment.</p><p>Those were the longest seconds of my life.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/MrSpindles/" target="_blank">MrSpindles</a></p>
Complete And Total Taking Over<p>I don't know about "haunts" but it makes me cringe. In public school we had this thing in our school called 'Jumpstart for Kids' where you'd go around, often door to door, collecting money for this charity once a year. </p><p>Anyway I was 12 and I liked a boy in highschool and he convinced me to take the envelope and go door to door and collect money... to give to him so he could buy a drum set. </p><p>I walked around collecting from all these sweet people who told me I was so nice for collecting money for underprivileged kids. Fortunately I got caught and my parents made me donate it instead. So embarrassing.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/heather-rch/" target="_blank">heather-rch</a></p>
Scene Of The Crime<p>Provincial Park, pay shower, 12 years old, line-up to get in. Towards the end of my turn in the shower, get the urge to poop. Cannot hold it. Using a sock to smoosh the last of it down the drain, water turns off. Out of quarters. Put a towel over my head, run out of there past the line-up.</p><p> Get back to the camp site, immediately change clothes, shoes, hairstyle, put on a ball cap. Work up the courage to go by the area later on, it is all cordoned off. Hear people angrily discussing how someone took a dump in the shower.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/eskerhobolo/" target="_blank">eskerhobolo</a></p>
When Bullying A Bully Isn't Worth It<p>We had a camper in this large campground at a lake when I was growing up. Tons of families with kids riding bicycles and golf carts up and down the gravel roads through the property. </p><p>There was this one kid that was a few years older than me (I was 10, he was probably 12 or so) who's dad was the security guard and they lived on site and he was the biggest punk in the park. He'd try and wrestle you in the pool, throw rocks at you as you were fishing, ride off on your bike if you left it laying around, bully and hit smaller kids, even girls. </p><p>I was driving the golf cart down a pretty steep, gravel hill one day when I came up on him on his bike, going the same way as me. He never turned around to acknowledge I was there so I got up just to the side of him and turned HARD right into him. We were both going probably 10-15 miles an hour down this hill. </p><p>He took a nasty spill and rolled off the side of the road and wasn't moving. I kept on going, acting like nothing happened. We were completely isolated so no one saw me. I remember him getting taken away in an ambulance and hearing that he'd been hurt pretty bad.</p><p> I immediately felt remorse for what I'd done but never said a word to anyone. He or anyone else never had any idea I did it either. I look back now and think about how much of a financial strain I put on that family, seeing as how they were already living in a camper. That was a really REALLY evil thing I did and it still crosses my mind quite often.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/harp9r/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">harp9r</a></p>
Not Hurting<p>So you know the carnival horses you can sit on outside of grocery stores (back in the 90's). Well I wanted to ride one and this sweet old woman tried to help me get on, slipped, and really really hurt herself falling into the ride. I just remember hearing her scream and I got scared and ran away.<br></p><p>I'm 31 years old and think about that day at least once a week.</p><p><span></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/packhawk2689/" target="_blank">packhawk2689</a></p>
Gotta Get Up, Gotta Get Out<p>Easy. When I was 5, I burned my house down.</p><p>We were living in a small home, me, my sister, mom, dad. I was supposed to be in the bed, but I wanted a toy or <em>something</em> that was under my bed, and I didn't want to wake my parents by turning on my light... soooo I grabbed my dad's cigarette lighter and light the flame under my bed. Needless to say it went up like a match. </p><p>My dad tried to stomp the fire out after I started screaming fire, burning his leg horribly. My room and the source of the fire was blocking EVERY other bedroom from escape, so everyone had to jump out of a window. Funnily enough, I don't remember the world-class a** whipping I must have received for that. I just cringe at the thought that I almost killed all of us being a dumb kid.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Paradigm_Pizza/" target="_blank">Paradigm_Pizza</a></p>
Escape<p>I was married to an insanely abusive man. After two years I escaped and he killed himself shortly after. Not sure if it was him avoiding charges, or avoiding his deployment but his family decided it was 100% my fault. They told the police I gave him the gun and encouraged him. </p><p>That was investigated and unfounded. What they didn't know was he'd scanned and emailed me his suicide note the wee hours of the morning of. The police didn't find the note. Of course I handed it over when they asked. His family would not believe I wasn't involved or at fault and harassed me for a long time. </p><p>If I got a job and they found out about it they'd call and leave so many complaints I'd get let go. Found out what I drove and had their other kids and their friends follow me. </p><p>I ended up having to leave that town and disappearing to avoid them. But before I did, I printed a copy of his suicide note, found his moms car at her job, and left it on the window shield. That note detailed the abuse his father put him through, his rage at his mother for never leaving him and making himself and his siblings live with the SOB. </p><p>That he never wanted me to blame myself, that this was his way of getting the hell away from them and the damage he caused. I felt pretty bad for awhile. But at the same time.... they literally wouldn't leave me alone and stalked me for 5 years.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/TinyTinasRabidOtter/" target="_blank">TinyTinasRabidOtter</a></p>
If You Give A Pup A Shower<p>Bored in the house one day alone when I was about 10, so decided to give my dog a shower, I genuinely loved my dog, he was my best friend growing up, but for some unknown reason I decided to turn the shower onto hot water only (extremely hot) and started showering him. There was a delay I guess in him reacting because his fur was so thick, which meant I kept it on him for a few seconds.</p><p>suddenly He started yelping like dogs do when in pain, his instincts were to not be aggressive or try to escape but just looked at me scared and confused.</p><p>I panicked smashed on the cold and cooled him down as quick as I could.</p><p>Fortunately he was not 'burnt' or had any ongoing issues, he never even lost trust in me.</p><p>I felt physically sick and ashamed in myself for days after, and obviously it still bothers me 20 years later.</p><p>The good thing to come from it is that I was so disturbed by my action that I have never knowingly inflicted pain on anyone or anything since.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/ChrisLeeHD/" target="_blank">ChrisLeeHD</a></p>
Caught In The Act<p>I was at school and for no reason at all, I eavesdropped a very private and delicate conversation between one of my teachers and her husband. </p><p>Then she opened the door and saw me eavesdropping. It was beyond humiliating and I deserved the scolding afterwards. I was young and stupid obviously, but when I remember the look on her face, I still cringe hard, even if it's been almost 20 years.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/naydeilinsei/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">naydeilinsei</a></p>
Shunned<p>Second grade, I had a classmate (fake name Sasha) who was kinda awkward. Crooked teeth, quiet, not too bright. Didn't really have any friends within the class, though she did have some people she would hang out with at recess. </p><p>In any case, a boy in the grade above us, a friend of my brother's actually, for some reason decided to spread a rumor among all of us that Sasha had lice and to stay away from her. </p><p>I bought it without a second thought, and so did most of us; as far as I know, she wasn't particularly teased, but she was just shunned. No one talked to her. </p><p>She was around till the end of the year and didn't come back for third grade. No clue what happened to her, but I really hope we didn't mess her up too much.</p><p>Next summer, I got the worst case of head lice my pediatrician had ever seen. Karma, my dudes.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Isabel79540/" target="_blank">Isabel79540</a></p>
I don't miss high school or the people in it. People who seem to have peaked in high school also weird me out. How? Why? I can definitely tell you that life got much more interesting the older I got (my 20s were way more fun than any of my time in high school). If you were to ask me if I have any regrets, I suppose I would say that I wish I had been more assertive and stood up for myself more. Depression has a way of complicating goals like that, though. Let me tell you: It feels nice to be so much healthier than I was then.
After Redditor Sub2735 asked the online community, "What's your biggest regret from high school?" people shared their stories.
"I'm sure the mentality..."<p>Being too shy, I'm sure the mentality that everyone hated me wasn't very good for making friends.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpad84o?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">aeflare</a></p>
"I'm not sure how it could have gone differently..."<p>Dropping out. I am not sure how it could have gone differently, but I do wish it had. It was expensive to upgrade all that education to get into post-secondary, and I also missed out on a lot of social things.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpafhng?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">DaughterEarth</a></p>
"I was already pretty cynical..."<p>I was told I had received a full-ride scholarship, so I stopped putting in any effort on other scholarships. When the time came, it wound up being awarded to someone who applied late, got it due to their family's income level, and then dropped out of college after one month. My first two years of college were a financial nightmare as I had to pay my own way on everything (except rent, as I lived at home and commuted across state lines for work and college). If I had $50 at the end of the month, that was a damn good month. I couldn't get student loans and my parents refused to help, so I had worked out a deal with the financial office at college to pay something like $550 a month, which was about 90% of my income.</p><p>I regret not confronting whoever made that decision about the scholarship. I somewhat regret not putting in the effort to get other scholarships at the same time, but I can't blame myself for it either.</p><p>I was already pretty cynical at that point, but that was when I realized just how quickly your back becomes a knife block for someone else's optics.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpalo5m?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">A_Garbage_Account</a></p>
"I used to daydream..."<p>I used to daydream about going back one day and burning it to the ground, but it's just been demolished by land developers. So I guess that dream's dead.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpafcpx?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">EducationTangle06</a></p>
I suppose the phrase, "Always follow your dreams"...<p>...doesn't apply in this case.</p>
"Acting like a clown..."<p>Acting like a clown, annoying everyone to the point where no one really stayed in contact with me after, and taking my precious little charter school for granted.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpae5ak?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">SalFunction12</a></p>
I have a friend who has expressed similar concerns about his time in high school.<p>He ended up spending his college years going to therapy and maturing. His clownish antics were a coping mechanism for a lot of crap going on in his life at the time. He's happier and healthier now and that's what matters.</p>
"To be fair..."<p><span>Dating my best friend. To be fair that's how I found out a lot of people weren't really my friends but getting ghosted afterward really hurt.</span></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpasudw?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">kannacantplay</a></p>
"She got tired..."<p>I took my crush to Daft Punk Alive 2007 instead of my best friend. She wasn't responding all day, and I was with my friend. We were about to leave when she called. She'd been with her boyfriend all day and had forgotten about the concert. I took her. My buddy was disappointed but cool about it.</p><p>She got tired of being on the floor halfway through so we sat in the bleachers. We started walking out before the encore because she wanted to get home sooner.</p><p>Always wanted to take my buddy to a Daft Punk show after that, and was going to, no matter where or how much it cost. But I'll never get the chance.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpbd6so?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">spanishgrapelaw</a></p>
"Looking back now..."<p>I regret not telling my crushes how I felt about them. Looking back now, I know that those puppy love relationships probably wouldn't have developed into anything long term and I no doubt would've had my heart broken when they inevitably ended but, I can't help but wonder: What if?</p><p>Having cultivated a host of insecurities by the time I got to high school, I was really good at hiding my inner thoughts and feelings - I also probably didn't see myself very clearly. So, I just assumed that there was zero chance of my crushes reciprocating my feelings and never said anything to them about it. I also probably sub-consciously ignored any signs that they were interested in me (again, didn't see myself clearly, was very insecure).</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpazwl2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Vegoceraptor</a></p>
"The world is wider..."<p>Not engaging with opportunities available to me and just looking at it like a holding pen just before adulthood.</p><p>It may seem hokey, but join clubs, try out lots of sports, pursue interests, pay attention in class and engage with your peers.</p><p>The world is wider for adolescents than I allowed myself to believe it was at the time.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpaxnsf?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Big_Requirement_3540</a></p>
"I already knew I was quitting..."<p>Senior year I had the option of a guaranteed internship and doing half days at school. Turned it down because my parents wanted me to be in band (and I enjoyed it so didn't put up a fight).</p><p>I already knew I was quitting when I went to college. The internship would have been great experience to propel my studies/career.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpatszd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ClubbsMcLubbs</a></p>
High school isn't easy.<p>Nor is it particularly fun for a lot of people. Remember how awful being a teenager was? Remember what it was like to feel like you were at the whim of your hormones all the time? It's an emotional rollercoaster. It's no wonder so many people would rather close the book on high school once it's over (or have some regrets related to their time there).</p><p>Have your own stories? Feel free to share them in the comments below.</p>
When we are on the outside looking in, it can feel so obvious that a relationship is doomed.
When we offer advice to friends, family, or people oversharing at a party, the correct next move often seems wildly obvious: get out of that relationship.
Enough Was Enough<p>"He was mentally ill, possibly with Paranoid Personality Disorder, definitely delusional, maybe schizophrenic. I was accused of all types of things, affairs, being part of plots to 'get' him, even urinating on his toothbrush."</p><p>"I stayed for 3 years after I knew I no longer loved him because I knew he would spiral without someone to look after him. He had destroyed every relationship with his friends and family because they were all also out to 'get' him."</p><p>"I finally told him I would only stay if he got help, which he refused. So I left."</p><p>"I was right about him spiralling. He went from sharehouse to sharehouse as all the other tenants were 'out to get him'. He eventually ended up homeless for a while is now facing 18 different charges so will probably end up in jail."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpal6ip?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">damekl</a></p>
An Unfortunately Common Response to Fading Love<p>"She threatened to kill herself and even though I wanted out of the relationship, i didnt want her to be hurt or die. I remember us arguing about something very trivial but she was getting very upset. She walked out mid conversation and came back with cuts all over her legs and thighs."</p><p>"I tried getting help from parents, school counselors, doctors. None helped. So i just tried to manage as much as I can. Eventually she joined the military & moved away and that was the moment I was finally free."</p><p>"Years wasted though."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpab7fm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">corazon_im_hurt</a></p>
A Bare Bones Story<p>"Short version: domestic violence."</p><p>"Long version: I was afraid to leave because I believed he would find me and kill me."</p><p>"Conclusion: He pushed me too far and I ran."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpaizjk?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">AliceMorgon</a></p>
Tipping Over the Edge<p>"He was a violent drug addict and I was scared of what he may do if I left. I never truly loved him but our relationship became very codependent very quickly."</p><p>"He cheated on me, took advantage of the fact that I had a car and money, but I still stayed because he was always threatening to kill himself or to kill my cats."</p><p>"Then one night he literally backed me into a corner and tried to punch me in the head so that finally made me open my eyes and realize I had to get out."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpb5z6l?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Theging96666</a></p>
Optics<p>"She's terminally ill, and dying of Cancer, even though she is abusive now, and was before, I can't really leave, the social pressure to be a *good man* plus the cost of divorce and everything else is just too much, at this point it's just easier to wait it out."</p><p>"Plus I really like her family, and if I left her when she was sick...it would pretty much kill that relationship."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpbm18j?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Boise_State_2020</a></p>
Always a Reason to Stay<p>"We were living together at 16, she cheated on me and I told her I wanted her to leave, she begged me not to send her back to her moms house because they have like 8 people in a 2 bedroom house and because she would've had nowhere else to go."</p><p>"I was 16 I didn't know how to handle a girl literally begging me so I let her stay against my better judgement and it created a hurtful cycle of falling in and out of love."</p><p>"Feeling like things could get better and then having my world come crashing down every time I look at her because I think of reading the message of the guy saying he loved watching her get on top of him."</p><p>"A couple of years go by and we're not in love, just tolerating each other at this point and then we got pregnant, stayed together through the pregnancy but the stress was too much for both of us and caused fighting, sleeping apart, more cheating."</p><p>"When the baby was born she had finally turned 18 and we moved away our relationship got much better with each other, we're best friends now and are just trying our best to raise our daughter to be healthy and happy and know she's loved."</p><p>"Neither of us had good childhoods."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpa47ed?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Lapidot-Wav</a></p>
For the In-Laws<p>"I lived with a man I never loved. His mum was also living with us and I loved her more than my own biological mum."</p><p>"She was the nicest, kindest and the most caring soul I have ever met in my life. I left that man when he told me that he knew I was only with him because of his mum. That was 20 years ago but I still miss her every single day."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpbz7av?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Mayfl21</a></p>
A Sudden Shift<p>"I was with my wife for 14 years. For at least half of that, I wasn't happy with the relationship. But I had decided I was ok with it because everything about our life together was acceptable, for lack of a better word."</p><p>"We owned a house, made good money, got along well, shared hobbies, etc. We were basically roommates/best friends who just didn't love each other the way you would normally expect from a married couple."</p><p>"When the pandemic hit, and we were forced to stay home more and spend time with each other EVERY DAY, we started to get a better sense of how well we actually tolerated each other. It didn't go well."</p><p>"She ended up getting really into online gaming and met some other guys and basically cheated on me. In retrospect, it was obvious it would reach that point."</p><p>"But I was content to stay there as long as I could because it was a comfortable life with very little stress and obligation."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpaadi2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">knucklehead923</a></p>
Slow Fade<p>"I was no longer as 'in love' with her. But I still loved her. After years together it could become tricky to figure out exactly what It's just a lull and what is it really going away."</p><p>"I was still living with my best friend. But ended it because once we really realized that I wasn't feeling the same way anymore. I was just hurting her for me to stay since she was still in love."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpa6h2s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">collin3000</a></p>
Wise, But a Little Sad<p>"We have good chemistry and built a life together. After a lot of years, love comes and goes. It is like the seasons."</p><p>"As cold as it can be in the winter, if you put the effort in, the spring will always come back."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpa41jl?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Aizpunr</a></p>
Some people don't take breakups very well. And those that don't can sometimes engage in behavior that others might view as bothersome, unsettling, even toxic.
Others engage in abusive behavior during the relationship, a major red flag that some people might not take seriously until it's too late.
After Redditor XYZ3110 asked the online community, "What's the creepiest thing an ex has done?" people shared their stories.