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Doctors Divulge How They Really Tell A Patient They Are Dying

Doctors Divulge How They Really Tell A Patient They Are Dying
Photo by National Cancer Institute on Unsplash

Working in the medical profession simply builds a whole lot of heartache. Doctors watch, day after day, as some of their patients fall ill, only to never recover.

It's a part of the job to break gentle news both to the patients and to their families that their loved one is most likely not going to make it. Having to tell someone they're dying, and force them to deal with their own mortality, brings up a special kind of hell.

Some people have had to develop coping mechanisms to get through it.


Redditor roblixepic asked:

"Doctors of Reddit, how do you tell a patient that they're dying?"

Here were some of those answers.


Compassion Goes The Distance

"My dad’s surgeon discovered what he called 'cement' in his abdomen from cancer that had spread so aggressively that it damaged his colon and required emergency surgery. I asked the doctor while waiting for my dad to wake up if it was terminal."

"The incredible man told me he was not God and could not declare certainties. He said other patients with similar onset had anywhere from a few months to five years. He told me could not tell the future but suggested we discuss care options with my dad."

"I asked his opinion if we should tell my dad right away or give him time to recover from surgery. I’ll never forget his response: 'In my experience, patients know when their bodies are giving up. He will know before you or I do.'”

"My dad had almost 3 years after that conversation. When his body was finally giving out, he asked my mom to take him to the hospital, and for the only time ever in his adult life, he left the house without shoes. My mom said he must have realized he wouldn’t be walking back into the house."

"That was almost 9 years ago. Cancer sucks. But some of my dad’s doctors were incredible and compassionate, and the ICU nurses were amazing."-OlderAndTired

Simple And Direct

"If you’re an amazing doctor like my dads doctor was, you say, 'I gave it my last shot, buddy. I gotta turn you over to hospice now but know I don’t want to.'”

"And he had a tear in his eye. He’d been my dads doctor for a long time (and a few other relatives, actually. This guy had been our end of life a few times-no fault of his own though!). I’ll always remember his compassion in that moment. It was simple, direct and caring."-MonsoonMermaid

Clarity

"ER Doctor: Sit down with the patient and family. Introduce myself. Explain clearly in layman's terms what has been found on the scan/lab/test etc. and the accompanying poor prognosis."

"I then pause because reactions vary considerably here. Some people cry, some people are frozen with shock, many in between."

"After patient/family has had their reaction I ask what (if any) questions they have for me and reassure them I will be in the ER until whatever hour (end of my shift) to help them or provide clarity."-Fancyphones123

Eloquently Frank

"I heard a neurologist tell a brain cancer patient once: 'Some illness have cures, and others treatment. We have reached the end of all possible treatments with respect to your wishes. What life you have left depends on will and time.'”-CriticalCareTaker

Here's The Plan

"In the US, we have an agreed upon guide at my institutions surrounding end of life care. Here's what we do, if the patient is lucid:"

  1. Initiating the conversation.
  2. Clarifying prognosis
  3. Identifying end of life goals
  4. Developing a treatment plan

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1495357/

"Actual conversations and details are tailored to the situation, patient, and culture."–thewaybaseballgo

These unimaginable situations are a daily occurrence for some people.

It's Important To Find The Pain Source

"I'd had scans and tests done for unknown stomach pain. The doctor came in and told me the results were back and the news was not good. Explained that I had a cancerous tumor on my bowel that had ruptured and spread to other organs."

"That it had spread too much and couldn't be cut out and chemo wouldn't make it fully go away. He told me unfortunately it was terminal and he reassured me that they would do all they could to give me more time and make me comfortable. At this point I began bawling my eyes out and crying 'my children, my poor children.'"

"He was compassionate towards me and gave me time to process it. Then came back later to explain things in greater detail once the shock had worn down a bit. There's no easy way to hear your dying in your 30s but he did an ok job."-SquelchingNoises

Undivided Attention

"There are actually pretty structured and formulaic ways to do it, but each person ultimately has their own style. Step one: hand your pager and cell phone off to someone else or silence it."

"Two: walk in, very clear introduction of your name, role, etc. if meeting them. Sit down, and don’t let anyone between you and the door. Ask the name and relation of anyone in the room. Ask if they prefer having someone else in the room (or FaceTime now because of Covid)"

"Three: ask what they know or have heard (I had patients outright say 'I know I am dying.' Or 'Everything is fine right?'). Ask what their understanding of that diagnosis is."

"Three: Warning shot and brief pause. 'Unfortunately, I have bad news.' Or 'I know we were hoping for X, but I’m sorry to have to tell you it isn’t what we were hoping for.' Pause. Let the patient panic, then they start listening again.

"Four: Be very clear, very direct when possible, and absolutely honest. Pause. At this point, I usually want to word vomit or backtrack but you cannot do that. The pause is awkward but they are thinking a million things. They will want to cling to, 'but this is curable right?!!'”

"At this point I ask if they want me to explain, give them a moment, call someone, etc. After I’ve explained, I ask them what their understanding was of what I just told them. Go from there."

"Finish by having clear plan for what happens next (oncology appointment, chaplain, etc.) and how to contact with questions. That’s my mental checklist. It’s a process."-ConEffe10

It's Not Easier For Vets

"Different perspective here, as I treat animals vs people, and thus I'm not explaining it to the patient itself."

"I usually tell people that we've reached the limit of what is possible and fair as far as curative treatment goes, and outline what they can expect as far as progression of disease and palliative care options."

"And, as I'm treating in a realm where this is a legal option, I also discuss what euthanasia entails and discuss at what point it will be warranted."-Moctor_Drignall

The Places You Have Come To Fear The Most

"We knew my mum was dying and that she didn’t have long. It was one of her nurses on the ward, clocking off her shift just before 2 days off. She knew she wouldn’t see her again."

"She hugged me, and hugged my mum, and told her that it had been a pleasure to care for her. We stepped outside and cried together and it was in that moment I knew. She passed the next morning, about 12 hours later."-juneradar

Being Straightforward

"Hospice and Palliative care doc here Do it every day I work. I do it with straightforwardness and honestly and compassion. I tell them most of my patients say they aren't afraid to die but are afraid of suffering along the way. Most agree this is how they feel. And I get to assure them me and my teams entire career is committed to making sure that they do not suffer emotionally, spiritually or physically."-Idontsuckcompletely

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And it never gets easier, despite its frequency.

It Becomes The Process

"Not a doctor but a nurse. My last job I was the one you didn't want to come talk to you and I got oddly good at it."

"You tell them straight and make sure they understand exactly what you are saying because denial can be a hell of a thing. You don't joke. You be human and be upset too as that gives them permission to break down too."

"You listen and stay as long as they need but not so long that you annoy them. Answer any questions as best you can but don't give false hope. More than anything, be straightforward and be honest. That goes a long way."-rhett342

What An Awful Moment In Time

"They wouldn't tell my Dad. He took me and his sister in to see a CT scan and it looked like he swallowed golf balls the cancer (pancreatic) was everywhere."

"Dad asked about surgery and chemo and the Doctor just said it wasn't really an option. I spent the last two weeks watching Dad get worse and worse. He couldn't sleep, couldn't eat and couldn't get comfortable."

"We managed to get him into hospice the last few days where his girlfriend wouldn't stay in the room with him so I would only leave to grab food from the vending machine."

"I had to tell her he passed. She thought he was getting better. Wouldn't wish pancreatic cancer on anyone."-Auferstehen78

How To Take Care

"It's never easy. You have to be sincere, make sure you don't give false hope but you have the have the people skill. Trying and say something like 'we have exhausted all resources' or 'we have tried all angles,' because it should be true and coming from the heart."

"Be polite and sensitive, not all the way, but to them and the family. Say you're sorry and that you'll try the best to make their time worth. Allow visits as much as you can, send them home, if allowed."

"Make sure you talk to their families and let them know they fought to the end, even if it's not true. Treat the family as you would like to be treated, as the family. It sucks but it's the least to do."-eat_the_canvas

No Lying

"‘I’m not going to lie to you, I don’t lie to my patients. And although this is the first time we are meeting, you are my patient today. You are dying. We will do everything we can to assist you and keep you comfortable. Do you have any questions for me?’ My friend shook his head no. ‘Ok, then, the nurse will be in shortly to….’"

"Doctor left the room and I followed him out as I had questions. My friend was in the last stages of lung cancer that had spread. He passed within three hours. I had so much respect for that doctor. He gave it to us straight, but his voice was full of compassion." – friendofjay

An Observer Weighs In

"Not a DR but saw this on 24 hours in A&E and the person seemed to take it really well…"

“I’m afraid that you are really ill, in fact you are the illest person in Wales right now. We have tried XYZ but unfortunately they haven’t worked, we are going to keep trying whatever we can but there’s a high chance that you may die, so we are going to try and help you with being as comfortable as possible. We have your family here who are going to be by your side, I think it would be a good idea to say your goodbyes. I’m really sorry there isn’t more I can do”

"It was beautiful and the DR was calm, cool but also very moved and clearly very sad."-Hour-Cow-4348

Putting It Bluntly

"i took my mom to the ER in september cause she couldn’t move the right side of her body. they immediately took her into a CT scan and a white coat doctor walked in 30 minutes later, leaned on the counter in front of my moms bed and said 'we found 3 tumors and we think you have cancer”' i don’t remember much after that cause i was in shock and crying, but he basically outlined everything that would be happening from then on and then left the room. she did have cancer and she died a month later"–straightupgong

Being in a profession dealing with people's lives is an upsetting occurrence, and you have difficult things and situations to navigate almost on the daily.

Developing a system might spare you some of the more acute pain of doing the unthinkable.

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People Describe The Creepiest Things They Ever Witnessed As A Kid

"Reddit user -2sweetcaramel- asked: 'What’s the creepiest thing you saw as a kid?'"

Four mistreated baby dolls are hung by barb wire
Photo by J Lopez

For many childhood memories are overrun by living nightmares.

Yes, children are resilient, but that doesn't mean that the things we see as babes don't follow us forever.

The horrors of the world are no stranger to the young.

Redditor -2sweetcaramel- wanted to see who was willing to share about the worst things we've seen as kids, so they asked:

"What’s the creepiest thing you saw as a kid?"

Serious Danger

"Me and my best friend would explore the drainage tunnels under the Vegas area where we grew up. These were miles long and it was always really cool down there so it was a good way to escape the heat of our scorching hot summers. We went into this one that goes under the Fiesta casino and found a camp with a bunch of homeless people."

"Mind you we are like 11 years old lol. And we just kept going like it was nothing. It wasn’t scary then but when I look back at it we could have been in some serious danger. Our parents had no idea we did this or where we were and we had no cellphones. We could have been kidnapped and never have been found."

oofboof2020

Waiting for Food

"I was at a portillos once when I was 12 and I was waiting with my little brother at a booth while my parents got our food. This guy was standing with his tray kind of watching me then after a couple of minutes he started to walk over really fast not breaking eye contact with me."

"He was 2 feet from the table and my dad came out of nowhere and scared the s**t out of him. He looked so surprised and just said he wanted to see if I’d get scared or not. He left his tray full of food near the door and left. My folks reported him but we never went to that location again since we found a better one closer to home."

nowhereboy1964

Captain Hobo to the Rescue

"When I was a pretty young teen, my friends and I were horsing around in San Francisco and started hanging out to smoke with some homeless guys. Another homeless dude came up and began aggressively trying to shake us down for anything (money, smokes, a ride, drugs- all of it) and wouldn’t take no for an answer."

"We got in over our heads and could tell this guy was now riling the other 2 guys up and they were acting like they wanted to jump us. Some grandfather-looking old homeless man appeared out of nowhere and yelled at us to get the f**k out of here- nice kids like us don’t belong down here at this hour!!"

"Captain Hobo saved our lives that night. My parents sincerely thought we were at a mall all day lol."

FartAttack911

Survival

tsunami GIF Giphy

"I was 7 and survived the 2004 tsunami in Thailand. Witnessed the wave rise way above the already massive palm trees (approx. 40ft?) and my family and I watched/heard the wave crash into the ground from a rooftop."

faithfulpoo

These Tsunami stories are just tragic.

On the Sand

Scared The Launch GIF by CTV Giphy

"We were a group of kids who went to swim in a local lake. And there was a dead body on the beach with their hands raised and their legs bent unnaturally that local police just took out of the same lake. I've never put my foot in these waters again."

oyloff

Be Clever

"I was walking to school and I was about 5 or 6 years old and some guy pulled up beside me in his car and asked if I would get in. He also offered me sweets to do so. I said no. The creepy bit was when he calmly said ‘clever boy’ to me, then drove off. I’ve never even told my parents or anyone else about this as it would most likely freak them out."

OstneyPiz

Bad Jokes

"Dad's side of the family pranked me by burying a fake body on our back property and had me dig it up to find valuables. Was only allowed to use a lantern for light. They stuffed old clothes with chicken bones. Sheetrock mud where the head was... Random fake jewelry as the treasures... I was like maybe 10 or 11.. I remember digging up the boot first and started gagging because it became real at that point."

Alegan239

YOU

Who Are You Reaction GIF by MOODMAN Giphy

"Woke up to find my little brother staring at me in the dark, asking, Are you really you?"

PrettyLola2004

Siblings can really be a bunch of creepers.

No one should talk to others in the dark though.

Woman stressed at work
Photo by JESHOOTS.COM on Unsplash

When we hear about other people's jobs, we've surely all done that thing where we make assumptions about the work they do and maybe even judge them for having such an easy or unimportant job.

But some jobs are much harder than they look.

Redditor CeleryLover4U asked:

"What's a job or profession that seems easy but is incredibly challenging?"

Customer Service

"Anything customer-facing. The public is dumb and horrendous."

- gwarrior5

"My go-to explanation is, 'Anyone can do it, but few can do it for long.'"

- Conscious_Camel4830

"The further I get in my corporate career, the less I believe I will ever again be capable of working a public-facing job. I don’t know how I did it in the past. I couldn’t handle it in the present."

"I know people are only getting worse about how they treat workers. It is disturbing, embarrassing, and draining for everyone."

- First-Combination-12

High Stakes

"A pharmacist."

"You face the public. Your mistake can literally kill someone."

- VaeSapiens

"Yes, Pharmacist. So many people think their job is essentially the same as any other kind of retail worker and they just prepare prescriptions written by a doctor without having to know anything about them."

"They are very highly trained in, well, pharmacology; and it's not uncommon for a pharmacist to notice things like potentially dangerous drug interactions that the doctor hadn't."

- Worth_University_884

Teaching Woes

"Two nuggets of wisdom from my mentor teacher when I was younger:"

"'Teaching is the easiest job to do poorly and the hardest job to do well,' and 'You get to choose two of the following three: Friends, family, or being a good teacher. You don't have enough time to do all three.'"

"We all know colleagues or remember teachers who were lazy and chose the easy route, but any teacher who is trying to be a good teacher has probably sacrificed their friends and their sleep for little pay and a stressful work environment. There's a reason something like half quit the profession within the first five years."

- bq87

Creativity Is "Easy"

"Some creative professions, such as designers, are often perceived as 'easy' due to their creative nature. However, they may face the constant need to find inspiration, deal with criticism, and meet deadlines."

- rubberduckyis

"EVERYBODY thinks they are a designer, up until the point of having to do the work. But come critique time, mysteriously, EVERYBODY IS A F**KING DESIGNER AGAIN."

"The most important skill to have as a designer is THICK SKIN."

- whitepepper

Care Fatigue Is Real

"Care work."

"I wish it could be taken for granted that no one thinks it's easy. But unfortunately, many people still see it as an unskilled job and have no idea of the many emotional complexities, or of how much empathy, all the time, is needed to form the sorts of relationships with service users that they really need."

- MangoMatiLemonMelon

Physical Labor Generally Wins

"I’m going to say most types of unskilled labor and that’s because there’s such little (visible) reward and such a huge amount of bulls**t. I’ve done customer service, barista, sales, serving, etc; and it was all much harder than my cushy desk job that actually can be considered life or death."

- anachronistika

Their Memory Banks Must Be Wild

"I don't know if I'd call it incredibly challenging, but being one of those old school taxi drivers who know the city like the back of his hand and can literally just drive wherever being told nothing but an address is pretty impressively skilled."

"Not sure if it's still like this, but British cabbies used to be legendary for this. I'm 40 and I don't think most young people appreciate how much the quality of cab service has gone down since the advent of things like Uber."

"Nowadays it's just kind of expected that a rideshare/cab driver doesn't know exactly where you're trying to get and has to rely on GPS directions that they often f up. Back when I was in college, cabbies were complete experts on their city."

"More even than knowing how to get somewhere, they could also give you advice. You could just generally describe a type of bar/club/business you're looking for, and they'll take you right to one that was spot on. Especially in really big cities like NYC."

- Yak-Mak-5000

Professional Cooking

"Being a chef."

- Canadian_bro7

"I would love to meet the person who thinks being a chef is easy! I cook my own food and it’s not only OK to eat but I make a batch of it so I have some for later. So, to make food that is above good and portion it correctly many times a day and do it consistently with minimal wastage (so they make a profit), strikes me as extremely difficult."

- ChuckDeBongo

Team Leading, Oof

"Anything that involves a lot of people skills and socializing. I thought these positions were just the bulls**t of sitting in meetings all day and not a lot of work happening but having to be the one leading those meetings and doing public speaking is taxing in a way I didn’t realize."

- Counterboudd

Not a Pet Sitter At All

"Veterinary Technician."

"Do the job of an RN, anesthesiology tech, dental hygienist, radiology tech, phlebotomist, lab tech, and CNA, but probably don’t make a living wage and have people undervalue your career because you 'play with puppies and kittens all day.'"

- forthegoddessathena

Harder Than It Looks!

"Sometimes, when my brain is fried from thinking and my ego is shot from not fixing the problem, I want to be a garbage man... not a ton of thinking, just put the trash in the truck, and a lot of them have trucks that do it for you!"

"But if the robot either doesn't work or you don't have one on your truck, it smells really bad, the pay isn't what it used to be, you might find a dead body and certainly find dead animal carcasses... and people are id**ts, overfilling their bags, just to have them fall apart before you get to the truck, not putting their trash out and then blaming you, making you come back out."

"Your body probably is sore every day, and you have to take two baths before you can kiss your wife..."

"Ehh, maybe things are not so bad where I am."

- Joebroni1414

Twiddling Thumbs and Listening

"Therapist here. I’ve always said that it’s pretty easy to be an okay therapist—as in, it’s not that hard to listen to people’s problems and say, 'Oh wow, that’s so hard, poor you.'"

"But to be a good therapist? To know when your client is getting stuck in the same patterns, or to notice what your client isn’t saying? To realize that they’re only ever saying how amazing their spouse is, and to think, 'Hmm, nobody’s marriage is perfect, something’s going on there'?"

"To be able to ask questions like, 'Hey, we’ve been talking a lot about your job, but what’s going on with your family?' And then to be able to call them on their s**t, but with kindness and empathy? Balancing that s**t is hard."

"Anybody can have empathy, but knowing when to use empathy and when and how to challenge someone is so much harder. And that’s only one dimension of what makes being a therapist challenging."

- mylovelanguageiswine

Constant Updates

​"For the most part, my job is really easy (marketing tech). But having to constantly stay on top of new platforms, new tech, updates, etc etc is exhausting and overwhelming and I really hate it."

"Also, the constant responsibility to locate and execute opportunities to optimize things and increase value for higher-ups. Nobody in corporate roles can ever just reach a point of being 'good enough.' More and better is always required."

"Just some of the big reasons I’m considering a career change."

- GlizzyMcGuire_

Performing Is Not Easy

"Performing arts and other types of art. People think it’s a cakewalk or 'not a real job,' not realizing the literal lifetime of training, rejection, and perseverance that it takes to reach a professional level and how insanely competitive those spaces are."

- ThrowRA1r3a5

All About Perception

"I suspect everything fits this. Consider that someone whose job is stacking boxes in a warehouse has to know how to lift boxes, how many can be stacked, know if certain ones must be easily accessible, know how to use any equipment that is used to move boxes around."

"Not to mention if some have hazardous or fragile materials inside, if some HAVE to be stacked on the bottom, if a mistake is made and all the boxes have to be restacked, etc."

"But everyone else is like, 'They're just stacking boxes.'"

- DrHugh

It's easy to make assumptions about someone else's work and responsibilities when we haven't lived with performing those tasks ourselves.

This gave us some things to think about, and it certainly reminded us that nothing good comes of making assumptions, especially when it minimizes someone else's experiences.

Left-handed person holding a Sharpie
Kelly Sikkema/Unsplash

Many of us who are right-handed never even think about how the world is designed to cater to us.

It probably doesn't even cross your mind that 10% of the world's population is left-handed.

Because of this, there tends to be a stigma for being left-handed since society tends to associate the left with negative things.

For example, the phrase "two left feet" applies to those who are clumsy and therefore, incapable of dancing.

Curious to hear more about the challenges facing those with the other dominant hand, Redditor johnnyportillo95 asked:

"What’s something left-handed people have to deal with that right-handed people wouldn’t even think about?"

If only manufacturers appealed to an ambidextrous world.

Furniture Obstacle

"Those desks or couch chairs that have a small desk attached. They do make left handed/sided ones but they are few and far between."

– Prussian__Princess

"And they’re only on one side of the lecture hall, and it’s never a good seat. There is ONE front row, lefty desk in the entire room and it’s in the far corner, obscured by an ancient overhead projector."

– earwighoney

Everyday Objects For Everyday People

"as a left-handed person myself, one thing we often deal with is finding left-handed tools or equipment. many everyday objects, like scissors or can openers, are designed with right-handed people in mind, which can make certain tasks a bit more challenging for us lefties. we also have to adapt to a right-handed world when it comes to writing on whiteboards or using certain computer mice."

– J0rdan_24

Dangerous Tools

"The biggest risk is power tools. I taught myself to use all power tools right handed because of risks using them left handed."

"Trivial, I love dry boards but they are super hard to write on."

– diegojones4

It's hard to play when you're born with a physical disadvantage.

Sports Disadvantage

"Allright, Sports when you are young. Every demonstration from PE teachers are right handed. You cant just copy the movements they teach you you need to flip them and your tiny brain struggoes to process it. As well, 98% of the cheap sports equipment the school uses is right handed."

– AjCheeze

No Future In Softball

"I tried to bat right handed for so long in gym class growing up because the gym teacher never asked me what my dominant side was and the thought never occurred to me as a child to mention it! Needless to say I never became a softball star."

– Leftover-Cheese

Find A Glove That Fits

"In softball and baseball we need a specific glove for our right hand that's often impossible to find unless you own one, and we have to bat on the other side of the plate."

– BowlerSea1569

"I was one of two left-handers in a 4-team Little League in the 1980s. Nobody could pitch to me. I got a lot of "hit by pitch" walks out of it."

– Jef_Wheaton

These examples are understandably annoying.

Shocking Observation

"Having right handed people make comments whenever they see us write, like we’re some kind of alien."

– UsefulIdiot85

"'Woah! You're left-handed????'"

"I find myself noticing when someone is a lefty, and sometimes I comment on it, but I try not to. I'm primarily left-handed (im a right handed wroter but do everything else left), and every single time I go to eat with my family, someone says, "Oh hey, give SilverGladiolus22 the left hand spot, they're left-handed," and inevitably someone says, 'Wait, really?' Lol."

– SilverGladiolus22

Can't Admire The Mug

"We never get to look at the cute graphics on coffee mugs while we’re drinking from them."

– vanetti

"I just realized…I always thought the graphics were made so someone else could read them while you drink. Hmmm."

– Bubbly-Anteater7345

"I'm right-handed and I often wondered why the graphics were turned towards the drinker instead of out for others to see."

– Material-Imagination

The Writing On The Wall

"Writing on whiteboards is a nightmare. I have to float my hand, which tires out my arm quickly, and I can't see what I've already written to keep the line straight."

– darkjedi39

"Also as a teacher, it means I'm standing to the left of where I'm writing, so I'm blocking everything I write. I have to frequently finish writing, then step out of the way so people can see, instead of just being able to stand on the right side the whole time."

– dancingbanana123

Immeasurable

"Rulers."

"How the f'k is no one talking about rulers? It's from 30cm to 0 cm to me, or I have to twist my arms to know the measure I want to trace over it."

– fourangers

Just Can't Win

"EVERYTHING. The world has always been based around people being right handed. As a Chef, my knife skills SUCKED until I worked with a Left Handed Chef. Then it all made sense."

"Literally, everything we do must be observed, then flipped around in our heads, then executed. This is why Lefties die sooner, on average, than Righties."

"I had to learn how to be ambidextrous, just to complete basic tasks (sports, driving a manual, using scissors, etc). I am used to it now, and do many things right handed out of necessity, as wall as parents and teachers 'forcing' it upon me."

"But, at least we are not put to death anymore, simply for using the wrong hand (look it up, it happened)."

"Ole Righty, always keeping us down."

– igenus44

The world doesn't need another demographic to feel "othered" for being different.

But if you're right-handed and tend to make assumptions about left-handed people, you may want to observe the following.

Ronald Yeo, PhD, professor of psychology at the University of Texas-Austin told CNN:

"We shouldn’t assume much about people’s personalities or health just because of the hand they write with."
"And we certainly shouldn’t worry about lefties’ chances of success: After all (as of 2015), five of our last seven U.S. presidents have been either left- or mixed-handed."

Word.

Dog lying down on a bed
Photo by Conner Baker on Unsplash

Not all pet owners have the same relationship with their pets.

While anyone who decides to become a pet owner, or pet parent as some say, love their pets equally, some never ever let them leave their side.

Taking their pet with them to work, running errands, even on vacations.

Many pet parents even allow their pets to share their bed with them when going to sleep.

For others though, this is where a line is finally drawn.

Redditor Piggythelavasurfer was curious to hear whether pet owners allowed their pets to share their bed with them, as well as the reasons why they do/don't, leading them to ask:

"Do you let your pet sleep in your bed? Why/why not?"

The Tiny Issue Of Water...

"Absolutely not."

"I have fish."- Senior-Meal3649

Everyone Gets Lonely Eventually...

"I adopted an eleven year old cat the day before Halloween."

"She has mostly lived in my closet since I got her, and she hasn’t been too interested in coming out."

"Last night, she came out of my closet and jumped up on my bed, and crawled under my covers and curled up by my feet to sleep."

"I was so happy!"- YellowBeastJeep

The Comforting Reminder That You're Not Alone...

"I recently lost my Greyhound but I used to let him sleep on my bed with me."

"The company was nice and he was no trouble to have on my bed."- HoodedMenace3

Hungry Cookie GIF by De Graafschap Dierenartsen Giphy

What Do You Mean Allow?

"I have no choice."

"She is a cat, cats do whatever they want."- Small_cat1412

"He lets me sleep in my bed."- Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way

"I carry my old boy upstairs to bed every night."- worst_in_show

Hug GIF by The BarkPost Giphy

Who Needs An Alarm Clock?

"I let my two cats sleep with me."

"They're so full of love and just want cuddles all the time."

"And so do I."

"We've all developed a lil routine."

"Get to bed, oldest sleeps on my feet to keep them warm, youngest lies in my arm while I lie on my side (she the little spoon), then when I snooze my alarm for work in the morning the youngest paws at my face and meeps loudly to wake me up."- GhostofaFlea_

Whose Bed Is It Anyway?

"Yes."

"They're also kind enough to let me squeeze into whatever space they've left for me."

"Although I do get a few dirty looks off them."- Therealkaylor

"I found this tiny kitten screaming her head off under a car."

"Would not come out."

"Got some food and some water in dishes."

"I stood by the tire so she couldn't see my feet."

"She got curious about the food and water and started gobbling it down."

"I thought she would bolt when I squatted down."

"She was too busy eating."

"I grabbed her by the nape of the neck and all four legs went straight out and she tried to scratch me to death."

"I got her in the door and tossed her toward the couch."

"She ricocheted off the couch as if she was a ping pong off a table and I lost sight of her."

"I put out food and water and a sandbox and did not see that kitten for three days."

"On the third day, I came home and she was on my bed pillow."

"I thought she would bolt when I came near, but she didn't."

"I wanted to sleep so I tried to scoot her little butt off my pillow."

"She would not go."

"I put my head down to sleep and that is the way it was from then on."

"She ran the roost."- Logical_Cherry_7588

sleepy kitten GIF Giphy

Sleeping Is A Prerequisite...

"No, he's a cat and he cannot keep still during the night."

"He walks across the headboard, opens the closet doors, jumps into the windows and rustles the blinds, etc."

"If he would sleep he could stay, but alas, he's a ramblin' man."- Spong_Durnflungle

Saying No Just Isn't An Option...

"'Let'."

"Lol."

"It's a cat's world and I'm happy to be on her good side."- milaren

Felines Only!

"The cat does, the dog doesn't and the horse certainly does not either."- Xcrowzz

Angry Tom And Jerry GIF by Boomerang Official Giphy

Is That My Hair On That Pillow?

"My dog is perfect."

"She comes up, cuddles til we start to fall asleep, then gets down to sleep on her bed so she doesn't get too hot."

"Jumps back up in the early morning for wake up cuddles."

"The hair everywhere is the only downside but she is so cozy, what can you do."- HoodieWinchester

It is easy to understand how some people are able to fall asleep more easily knowing their friend and protector is there, in bed, with them.

Though we can't blame others who don't want to run the risk of being scratched or bitten in the middle of the night either...