I thought about being a delivery driver once.
Then I remembered the heinous pranks my friends and I would play on the pizza guys.
Shameful!
Also, after years of watching Dateline NBC, I'm not walking alone up to or into strangers' homes.
I can only imagine what some of these brave people walk away with burned on their psyche.
Redditor iicebath wanted to hear about all the crazy things delivery people have witnessed, so they asked:
"Delivery drivers of Reddit, what are some standout moments?"
Reminder: please tip generously because you never know what your delivery folks have been through that night.
Spark it Up
Chris Tucker Smoking GIFGiphy"A guy offered me weed. After I refused he insisted on giving me something, so he went opened a package of nutter butters. I grabbed a handful. They were good."
Tech_Enthusiast49376
WEEERRKKKK!!!
"Walked into a giant skyscraper in central London to deliver a parcel for a guy named Thomas, at the reception I'm told he will be in his office, so I walk in and find him dancing by himself in the corner with no music or AirPods or anything, he's facing the corner just doing the Carlton, so he had no idea I was just standing and watching."
"I leave the room and just try to reevaluate what I just witnessed, when I walk back in he is standing behind a table acting like nothing just happened. So I hand him my parcel and he just thanks me and signs for it. I have never got a delivery from Thomas to this day."
jamessaleh190e
Corpses
"I used to collect biohazards from doctors' offices, hospitals, and other places. I think people that work in funeral homes like to mess with the living. I saw way too many dead, naked bodies at that job. Did that job for 6 years and then went back to slinging office supplies. I have not seen a dead body since."
unhalfbricklayer
blah blah blah...
"I used to deliver Appliances for a major home improvement store. I'm at the end of my shift and standing at the back of the truck finishing up my paperwork in a... not great part of town. Suddenly I hear someone walking up behind me and turn to see three young men approaching my truck."
"My initial instinct is to just be, 'take what you want, blah blah blah,' but as soon as I'm about to go into my prepared statement the guy asks if I have any leftover boxes because they have to help his aunt move the next day. So I got rid of all my cardboard in one shot and had one less thing to worry about when I got back to the warehouse."
plucky13
Just Chill
Chill Leopard GIFGiphy"Delivered food to a guy on Friday afternoon. He answered the door in his hi-viz vest and tighty whities. I've never seen a man more chill with himself than that dude."
Thrownawaybyall
People really have no shame sometimes.
Not a Drop
Happy New Year GIFGiphy"I left the drinks on the roof of my car and made it to a stop light two turns away. A guy behind me got out of his car and handed me the drinks through the window and I was so shocked that nothing spilled I couldn't even thank him. I just exclaimed 'Omg how did they not spill!' and he ran back to his car."
unseenwreckage
'Oh, you're here!'
"Pre cell phone and gps days (1979), I was delivering carpets to an unfamiliar town. We got high to start the trip, lost the directions, but knew the address. We were so lost. We drove until we saw some people in a yard, and stopped to ask directions. Before we said anything, they said 'Oh, you're here!' We somehow found the right house. We dropped off the carpets, no complaints the next day. It must have been the right place."
eightfingeredtypist
Keep the Carvel
"Did Doordash for some extra cash on the weekends about 3 years ago. Had a Carvel order going to a funeral home. In my head I was thinking it was definitely a funeral where some kid was so upset that they ordered ice cream to calm them down and cheer them up. I arrive to the funeral home and it's empty."
"I knock on the front door and a few seconds later a dude answers in nothing but his boxers. Behind him another dude was looking at himself in the mirror that was hanging on the wall. That dude was also in nothing but his boxers. Weird sh*t to be happening inside of a funeral home."
F_a_username
Deliveroo
"I'll never forget when I worked for Deliveroo arriving at the customers door, lifting up the big bag of food to hand it to them, and the entire bottom of the bag fell out, leaving their whole order spilled across their door step. I remember their face of pure shock so vividly. I offered to help clean it, of course, but they refused, I think they just wanted me outta there, haha."
MacyTmcterry
Preparation & Dessert
Licking Ice Cream GIFGiphy"Still my favorite delivery. On a Saturday night, they ordered a pint of gourmet ice cream and a box of condoms."
fd1Jeff
There is so much to learn about people from their deliveries... and I am SHOOK!
"Hiring managers of Reddit: What makes you immediately throw out a résumé?"
Not In It For The Long Run
"I once received an application from a man in his 60s."
"Solid CV, lots of experience."
"In his cover letter he wrote 'I'm applying because the Job Centre asked me to'."
"Please note that I intend to retire in 6 months time'."
"We had a good laugh, then sent him a very polite rejection letter and wished him a great retirement."-BeerPoweredNonsense
Season 1 Lol GIF by NBCGiphyMake Sure They Actually Get The Right Document...
"One time I had someone upload how to upload their resume from Dropbox instead of their resume."- rabidwhale
Always Proof Read!
"I'll usually still interview unless there is no relevant experience, but I've seen some atrocious resumes."
"I've seen people use crutch words like 'uh' in writing for a job description."
"I've also seen a sentence 4 lines long with zero punctuation."
"The same resume will have 'attention to detail' as a skill set."
"I've interviewed for one of those resumes, and the applicant said 'I dunno" to about 80% of my questions, and it turned out he didn't even know what job he applied for'."
"It's not that I'm overly picky, but if someone can't spend the 20 minutes or less that it takes to proof read their resume, are they going to put a lot of effort into their job?"
"Maybe, but it's hard to know."- ChristyM4ck
Read Book Club GIFMake Sure It's Legible
"The only time I have ever had to throw out a resume was because someone possibly had it in a bag with their lunch and the paper was soaking wet and dissolving as I tried to unfold it."
"It was just unacceptable to process."
"The application was left in a drop box so I don’t know if it was a prank or an actual applicant."- 416unknown
Unprofessional Email Address
"Back in 98 I asked a new group of hires at GIECO to write their email addresses on a list that was passed around."
"Remember email was kinda new back then.. "
"One young female employee's email address included 'mybaldc**tchie'."- catjugglinpimp
the messengers aol GIFNever Send Someone In Your Place
"It’s been a long time but I used to do hiring for a cinema."
"Staff were often young, for many it was a first job, making popcorn and selling tickets type of gig."
"I would not pursue anything where parents came in with a CV for their teenager or if parents were contacting me on behalf of their teen."
"Big red flag."
"Either their kid didn’t want he job in the first place or they’re incapable of taking initiative and it doesn’t bode well for how they’d be as an employee."- FigJamAndCitrus
"Having your parents submit your resume while you stand silently beside them."- krim2182
It's Pure, Dumb Luck!
"I remember a meme or maybe a tv skit from a while back."
"The hiring manager had a huge pile of resumes on his desk."
"Someone asked how he was going to sift through them all."
"He took 2/3rds of the pile, threw them in the trash, and remarked 'I don't hire unlucky people'."
"Lol."- SpecialSpite7115
Im Out Breaking News GIF by Homes.comGiphyAll About The Formatting
"This doesn’t matter 100% of the time but bad formatting."
"If it’s hard to read I probably won’t read it."- Far-Gain-3081
Depends On The Job
"If it's a professional position, significant spelling errors will make me pass on a resume."
"If it's a warehouse job or something, I'm less concerned."- staffsargent
Don't Treat It Like A Text Message!
"Former hiring manager here."
"I tossed MULTIPLE resumes that used text message abbreviations throughout the resume and cover letter and one that included emojis."
"While you can do pretty much anything from your phone, it doesn’t mean you should."- spectacularuhoh
text texting GIF by Fifth HarmonyGiphyChoose Your References Wisely
"Not me, but a friend who checks resumes/CVs had a belter."
"Candidate had a conviction and his reference was his friend 'Baz'."- LexiRae24
Make Sure You Have The Relevant Skills
"I know it’s pretty specific but If your looking for a scheduling job make sure you know how to use Excel and clearly state it on your resume."
"It will probably get thrown out otherwise."- LoyalPlanets
As stated before, no two hiring departments will have exactly the same prerequisites and red flags, so no matter how hard you work, your resume is never going to please everyone.
That being said, multiple misspellings and a cheeky e-mail address are a surefire guarantee of not pleasing anyone.
Redditor kk-sahinul wanted to chat about the jobs that make the money not worth it, so they asked:
"What profession do you find unhealthy?"
I worked as a waiter. That's all I say.
Heavy lifting...
construction GIFGiphy"Construction, breathing in all kinds of dust all day, working in weird positions, heavy lifting, loud, dangerous tools and so on."
thatsoneuglybaby
On the Road Again...
"I imagine trucking comes with a lot of problems."
Poorly-Drawn-Beagle
"My grandfather was a trucker his whole life, he started his own business and raised 3 kids off of trucking. It killed him."
"Sleep deprivation, sitting still for 10+ hours at a time, an endless stream of black coffee and later energy drinks to stay alert, eating nothing but fast food and truck stop fare."
"And even when he was 'home,' the phone rang non-stop, usually brokers asking him to run another load from VA to CA."
"And to top it all off, he would be gone for weeks at a time, missing significant chunks of his children’s lives. And all of this, just to enjoy retirement for 2 years before dying of total kidney failure."
ChallengeLate1947
Toxic
"Welding, did that for 15 years. Breathing in toxic fumes all day sneeze into a kleenex and it would be black."
Consistent-Panic-996
"My dad was a welder and after retiring got lung cancer and caught it early, but lost part of a lung. Luckily my husband is a lawyer and has a friend that does personal injury lawyer specializing in asbestos so my dad has been getting settlements from over a dozen companies. The companies were required to put $ in a fund for settlements."
ketomachine
Too Much
"EMT. Those hours are unbelievable."
Jrk16
"Why are 24 hour shifts so common in medicine? There is ample evidence that mental performance declines over even an 8 hour shift, let alone 24hrs. Seems that of all professions this is one where you'd want everyone to be sharp and fresh as much as possible."
Johnny_B_GOODBOI
"And the lack of sleep, the caffeine intake, the trauma, the assaults, the gas station food."
austinh1999
The Fields
couple dancing GIFGiphy"Farmers. My dad was exposed to toxic herbicides/pesticides and his doctors attributed his terminal stomach cancer to his decades of exposure."
username987654321a
"And that doesn’t even get into the insanely dangerous machinery they work with. I’ve read some real horror stories about guys getting caught in equipment and that’s all, folks."
kittyness02
Farmers are necessary. But not fun apparently.
Chronic
Doctor Hospital GIF by LCLGiphy"Healthcare workers, chronic lack of sleep due to understaffing, potentially combative patients, various communicable diseases, sometimes threats from patients/their families."
HollyRoller66
Shaken & Stirred
"Bartending. There are so many alcoholics on both sides of the bar you become friends with. It can be difficult to keep yourself in check."
Mowings1
"I bartended for 10 years. Stopped almost exactly a year ago and while I loved being in that industry, getting out made me realize that drinking almost every day and doing drugs just to keep being able to handle those crazy weekend shifts wasn’t as fun as I justified it to be in my head. LOL."
freakybe
Not Safe
"Bouncer/Security. In my younger days I spent time as a bouncer, bar-back, and concert security. Nothing like having a drunken a** take swings at you for trying to do your job. Or getting blind-sided by a beer bottle to the head, etc. 100% not a long term sustainable role."
Toxikfoxx
Hazards
"Service work. Healthcare & K-12 teaching particularly. Medicine sucks due to inept healthcare & residency. My mother’s a teacher - overworked, underpaid."
Saint2th
"Where I am the schools are filled with lots of environmental hazards that really are unsafe to work around let alone have kids at everyday (mold, asbestos etc) it's unreal."
"People turn a blind eye or say it's not there but I grew up exploring every corner of that big old school... it's there. My mom was a teacher for four decades, got a different rare cancer 2x. The second one killed her. Underpaid is an understatement."
Bureaucrat_hell-loop
All of Us...
"Pretty much any job you don't like doing, which seems to be most for the majority of people. Forcing yourself to get up everyday to go do a job you hate just so you can break even at the end of the month."
chickadeedeedee_
Do what you love. If you can. And perhaps try to avoid some of these whenever possible.
Do you have any jobs to add? Let us know in the comments below.
Redditor Complete-Sweet5222 wanted to discuss the menu, so they asked:
"What is the most overrated cuisine?"
I won't do french cuisine. No snails. No way.
That's just me.
Fancy Schmancy
Chrissy Teigen Cupcake GIF by Billboard Music AwardsGiphy"Fancy cupcakes. Every ‘designer’ cupcake I’ve had has been incredibly dry. I just don’t get why they charge $5-$10 per serving, but the quality of the cake is below a Walmart sheet cake."
ThoseArentCarrots
"I make cupcakes sometimes. Over baking and day old baked products tend to dry out. A lot of the fancy desserts take time to build, which means the cupcakes have been sitting out for a while."
Stinkerma
Shock
"Not really a cuisine per se, but ‘shock food.' You know those giant milkshakes with whole slices of cake and candy on top, or quadruple cheeseburgers with so much cheese it’s running everywhere. It’s just not practical/tasty and really only exists to get a cool picture."
viillanelles
"I made the mistake of getting one of those milkshakes exactly once. It was fun to get and then you realize you just paid 20 bucks for a normal milkshake and grocery store sheet cake."
ceigetank
Be Simple
"Complicated burgers. Some a good but others have far to much on to eat without disassembly or using a knife and fork."
MedicalUprising
"Also I hate when they have overly elaborate names. I want to verbally order a cheeseburger, not the ‘big wet sloppy double daddy burger.'"
Guava_
"I totally agree. I hate being embarrassed to order something. There used to be an ice cream shop that had funky names for sizes. I had to stop going because I could not stop giggling at having to say 'no, I don’t want a zinger, I would like a zooper.”
bakay138
Premiums...
"Our family has been restaurant investors for 40 years. High end French cuisine using offal or organ meats."
"These dishes are pushed because the costs of these types of meats are very low and produce a huge profit margin. Also, the lack of experience with guests cooking these types of dishes for themselves mean very few patrons complain about authenticity. Usually a chef will throw his/her twist in the menu."
"Most customers can tell the difference between a great pizza and a mediocre one. They'll remember a great steak - but a restaurant may be paying huge premiums to fly that Waygu in from Japan or for your Flintstone tomahawk. Whereas, a local butcher shop will gladly unload offal and such with glee due to low demand. You'd be surprised as to how little we paid for cow brains for example."
rayrayrayray
No Silver?
gold GIFGiphy"Gold-flaked cuisine."
bushbeanbuddy
"God, why did it take me so long to realize you were talking about literal flakes of gold? I read this three times and thought, 'What a weird way to describe fried food.'"
bygollyollie
Gold is meant to spend not eat.
Price Point
Excited Winnie The Pooh GIFGiphy"The most expensive dishes. 'Yeah, man these diamonds sautéed in truffle oil and emerald dust are good, but do you have a cheeseburger?'"
gmen_forever
For All...
“'Something for everyone' restaurants. Anywhere where the menu has a ridiculously extensive offering. If I’m flipping multiple pages and not even halfway, I just know everything is about to taste questionable."
low_power_mode
"Several of my local Mexican restaurants have 8-page menus. All the dishes use some combination of tortillas, cheese, peppers, onions, avocados, beans, chicken, and beef, it's just the proportions and presentation that differ from one to another!"
MatttheBruinsfan
Pork Scents
"No cuisine, but I am sick of the whole 'bacon life' meme. It was funny for a couple of decades, but enough already. Bacon 'flavored' anything is disgusting."
SirReal_Realities
"One time in college I ordered bacon flavored popcorn."
"When I popped it in the communal microwave it smelled so awful that we had to open all the windows and evacuate until it had aired out enough for us to Febreze the rest away. It tasted like death. A couple guys threatened to beat me up if I popped any more. Some things just don't need to be bacon flavored. Popcorn is one of them."
Waffle_Maestro
Portions
"Rather than pick on a specific nationality or style of cuisine I'll talk about presentation."
"Any restaurant where portion sizes get smaller as the price goes up is the very height of epicurean pretentiousness. Like if they actually serve you enough food to be satisfied, it might as well be McDonald's."
"I spent a lot of years working in restaurants, and the ironic thing is what's on your plate is by far the smallest expense in serving that plate to you. There's no reason for tiny portions other than pretentious do*chebaggery."
McFeely_Smackup
Shrimp Then?
"Lobster. It’s fine, it’s just not really worth it’s cost imo. I also like eating it in things rather than by itself. The lobster rolls I had in Maine were much better than lobster straight up."
babythrottlepop
Food should be more affordable.
Do you have and foodie quibbles you'd like to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.