Everybody wants a happy ending in life.
A happy love story ending that is.
But it may take longer to find than we'd like.
And we have to have standards and lines that are not crossable.
Know your boundaries.
Be able to say...
"That is my limit."
Redditor arbetarbladet wanted to hear about the reasons people will leave the search for love behind.
They asked:
"What's a dealbreaker when it comes to dating?"
Draw a line in the sand and stick to it.
Start
I Mean Episode 18 GIF by FriendsGiphy"They don't initiate ANYTHING such as dates or intimacy."
Blackcore8
Obsessed
"The date being obsessed with themselves or continually talking about their ex partners."
LMcGenius
"Went on a date many years ago. This was one of my first dates after my wife left me. On this date the woman kept asking about my ex. Probably half of her questions were about the ex."
"Naturally I answered her questions but always tried to move the conversation back to me, her, whatever. Next day she texts and says she didn't think I was ready to date, that I was clearly still in love with my ex because I kept talking about her on our date."
BigPorter
Fixer Upper
"A ‘fix me’ person. I will support you to be your best. But I am not responsible to fix you."
nadanope11
"I think what’s even worse is when they treat you like you’re the fix-me-up. It’s very condescending and humiliating. That’s more of a pet relationship."
sebastianbass740
"I have a bad habit of picking partners who need fixing, it's unconscious really, but it's happened often enough to be an obvious pattern. And even as a person who sought out this trait, dealing with a person who needs to be fixed is exhausting."
L0vely_lacy
Blocked him fully...
"When u notice that they want to change you into ways they like more, subtle hints at start but progressively they get more ballsy."
Draxxony
"I dated a guy who saw me as a lump of clay he could mold to his liking. I told him repeatedly that I was uninterested in attending grad school despite getting great fellowships because I got the job I thought I needed graduate school for."
"He sat me down and told me he could leverage some of his connections to get me into a good program, I told him absolutely not and that I didn't need his help, that I had gotten into good programs,, and he ignored me and just kept on with his pitch. I broke things off directly after this and he vetoed and said he didn't agree so we were still together. Blocked him fully."
SahmiSahm
BRUSH!!
teeth brushing GIF by Michelle PorucznikGiphy"Not brushing your teeth/poor dental hygiene on a regular basis."
Ohyeahimoverhereyeah
Teeth are the key to life.
Stench
spray odor GIFGiphy"Old body odor stank."
Beavshak
"People need to realize that just because you don't smell it doesn't mean other people don't smell it. It's the same sh*t a smoker thinks."
DesperateTall
Earther...
"Flat Earther."
karmaredemption
"I just recently dated a Flat Earther! Didn’t find out until a few months in. Also didn’t find out about his ex being pregnant with his baby several months in, that was the dealbreaker for me but I should have stopped at Flat Earther."
Merskeet
"Or Young Earther."
"A couple years ago I dated a guy for a month before learning that he believed the world was just 6000 years old. The day I learned that, I showed up at the house of my biologist friends who had just been ranting about their college students who didn't 'believe' in evolution. I set down the beer and backpack I was holding and said, 'Guys, he's a Young Earther.' Took them a second to sort it out, and then we all collapsed with laugher. I broke up with him within the week."
firsttimetexan
RAGE!!
"A bad temper."
alval98
"My stepfather had a bad temper. Never violent, but I could never understand why my mother married him. Never date, much less marry someone with a bad temper."
MissNightTerrors
Not a Weapon
"Using their mental illness as part of their identity. No attempt to truly address it and leverage their illness to guilt others."
Toogern
"It's maybe not the best thing to talk about during a first date. But it's the kind of thing I would want my date to know beforehand. I'd rather be told that she's not interested because of my mental illness than not telling her and letting her discover this side of me."
OnTheDevilsGrave
Adults Only
Gary Coleman 80S GIFGiphy"As someone who doesn't want children, dating someone who does is a dealbreaker. Suffered a couple broken hearts over having to make this decision."
_JazminBianca
"This is so important! And, to add, believe someone when they say they don't want kids. Don't take it to mean that they don't want them right now, or any time soon. If they firmly don't want children, that's not likely to change."
pspisy
Deals to the self are important. Stay true...
Curious to hear examples from those who've witnessed extremely unusual behavior at these facilities had plenty to share when Redditor N3SSDOGGDOGG asked:
"People who have spent time in a Psych Ward what is the craziest thing you’ve witnessed?"
One thing is certain. There is never a dull moment.
Consequences Of Enabling Drug Addiction
"In our tiny community some kids are smelly because typically the parents are addicts who either didn't pay their water bill, don't own a washer/dryer or are too brain dead to care. The nearest laundromat is now 30 miles away because the local one got broken into and robbed too many times by. Our school is awesome, there are staff members who do laundry for these kids and make sure they get showers. It's discreet so they're not ridiculed. I hate how our society enables addiction and even celebrates drug use, but I don't know how we can fix it at this point. It's gotten completely out of hand."
– Marisleysis33
Taking You To A Live Commercial
"My brother-in-law had a stint in a psych ward a little over a year ago, and on a particularly manic day they were in the middle of the community room and started singing."
“I have a structured settlement and I need cash now”
"This was then met by about 40-50 psych patients shouting back."
“CALL J.G. WENTWORTH!!! 877-CASH-NOW!!!”
"After getting a few verses in the orderlies stepped in and kindly requested they stop, which was kinda a shame since it sounded like they were all having a good time."
– MikeMars1225
Select Highlights
"I've worked in one for about 2 years now. The staff are just as crazy."
"Here's some highlights"
"Patient got into the ceiling, couldn't get them down for a while."
"Patient milked themself into their coffee. Did you know some anti-psychotics make you lactate?"
"The entire adolescent unit escaping because maintenence forgot to lock the gate. Don't worry. They all came back eventually."
"And myself getting a concussion from a patient trying to escape, they weren't successful, but at least I didn't work for 6 weeks."
– NeverlandEnding
Character Performance
"The funniest thing I ever saw (spent total of about three years in in my teens and early 20's): a kid in seclusion who was having a genuinely good time making staff's life a living nightmare while he was in there, took apart the plastic mattress, tore the foam inside into small pieces, donned the empty mattress and started yelling 'I'M GUMBY, DAMMIT!' while tossing the pieces of foam around like confetti. Even most of the staff were laughing about it."
– t_portch
Physical violence seemed to be a common occurrence.
He Had A Violent Streak
"Not a patient but an employee. Had a 16 year old kid come in who was about 6'2 220 pounds. Built like a linebacker. I found out since he was technically a child he somehow ended up at an autism school for children with very little security. He ended up inflicting a TBI on one of the teachers and got sent to us. The kid had a violent streak the likes I hadn't seen before, he knew he was stronger than most and liked to fight unprovoked and it always took 4 to 6 people to restrain him. I never seen a patient spend more time than him in the 'safety room' an incredibly small padded room with nothing in it. His parents wouldnt authorize his move somewhere else and they wouldn't take him home either. We were not equipt for someone with his level of violence. So there he sat... For one and a half years..."
"It wasn't like a single incident that was crazy, it was the entire situation."
– DisagreeableFool
David And Wendy
"I was in an adolescent inpatient facility for 30 days. One kid named David who was very tall for his age, I think he was only 13. He insisted on watching Friday the 13th movies on movie nights and everyone was afraid to disagree with him because of his violent nature and frequent homicidal fantasies. He hated taking his meds, and probably 2 or 3 times a week he'd brawl with the psych nurses over it. No joke, it took 5 to 6 large grown men to overcome this kid. He was scary."
– better-off-ted
A Mother's Experience
"My mother worked in an asylum in Ireland when she was about 15. This was in the early 60s. She loved working there, despite the fact that some of the patients would physically try and kill her. One patient always stuck out to her, every day he would tell my mum he was going to kill her when she finished work. She knew he loved music, so would tell him she was out dancing that night, and could he wait until the next day, which he agreed to. The next day he would forget what he had said, and would threaten her again, and she'd say the say thing again. This went on for a couple of years that she worked there."
– tiredandstupid82
Turns out some patients weren't seeing a change of scenery any time soon.
Fighting To Stay
"I work inpatient and we had someone who was in for 2 1/2 years. They would try to take him out but he would start fighting immediately and eventually said he preferred it."
– Deathdad
Simon
I was a social worker at an institution that had a hall for what we called 'lifers,' it was essentially for people who had no hopes of ever being released due to their conditions. Anyway, my hall had 14 beds and it was full. There was this one guy who was huge. He was 6’7 and about 350. His name was Simon. He suffered from drug-induced schizophrenia and had bipolar disorder. He talked to himself all day, but never talked to others. All the other men in the ward were scared of him."
"It was my day to do first shift. I got there early to start on some paperwork I needed to finish. When I got my keys in the door, I heard Simon hit the door with his fists. I looked through the tiny window on the door and he and the hall was covered in blood. I panicked and called security for backup because I thought he had killed somebody."
"Turns out, Simon was in the throes of an extreme manic episode and had managed to walk the literal soles of his feet off. Other medication he was on thinned his blood and led to him bleeding all over the place."
"We checked the camera footage and he had walked and talked all night. The orderly (who was fired that day) had slept through his whole shift and never heard Simon walking back and forth."
– CamillaCream02
Some of these examples sound like they could patients in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, without Nurse Ratched tormenting them.
But props to the real humans who are compassionate and look after those who can't function alone in society.
