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Cruise Ship Employees Reveal Disturbing Secrets Passengers Should Know

Cruise Ship Employees Reveal Disturbing Secrets Passengers Should Know

Anchors Aweigh!

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Every year, over 20,000,000 people embark on cruises. For every ship that sails, between 800 -- 1,500 crew members are needed to take care of them. And just like with hotels, if you want to know what's really going on, check with the staff.

Reddit user maudiestirling asked "Cruise ship staff (cleaners in particular), what are some disturbing secrets passengers should know?"

Here is the behind the scenes look at cruise ships.

Crash Test

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Cruise ships have a different safety standard in construction for collisions since it's so unlikely, meaning if there is a major collision it has a higher chance of sinking compared to similar sized ships but the odds are still low to sink since all ships are really well built.

Carbon Footprint

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Worked in advertising for 2 different cruise lines. The dirtiest secret I know is that cruises are environmental disasters. Aside from the ecosystem damage a large ship can do in port, once a ship is in international waters normal fuel standards do not apply. So most burn the cheapest, dirtiest fuel they can to save money. It's gross and if you care about the planet you really shouldn't take cruises.

Most massive ships are 2 stroke engines (sometimes more on cruises to reduce vibrations). They have to use thick soupy oil to power these things, and I'm not just referring to cruises, but tankers and cargo ships. It's the only fuel that won't go up like a rocket in the pressure of a 10 ton piston.

There is literally no other fuel that can power engines that big, not because they hate the environment.

Fixed Schedule

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When a cruise ship needs to go in for repairs they have a set schedule they have to meet and a ton of money to throw at it. Although, they pay exorbitant amounts of money for the repairs due to the schedule, every contractor has to do a rush job so a great many of the repairs are done shoddily and the ship has no choice but to just leave any unfinished non-critical work undone and sail away.

The Brig

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I used to work as a cleaner (and bartender, and in the restaurant, and in the cafe, and in the dishes) on cruise ships in the Baltic Sea for about 4 years before I went back to school.

We do have a "jail" for the drunkards and the passengers who make a fuss, and as a clearer we started 4-5 in the morning, and every morning I usually walked past and peaked in to see what that night's bounty was.

Bugging Out

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Ahhh. Nobody mention the roaches. Or what happens when the ship is fumigated.

Playing the Odds

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A casino staff member told us that the poker machine payouts are set higher in the first two days to make you win, and thus make you want to play more, then as the ship enters international waters they don't need to have the same regulated payout percentages and it gets lowered so you have a very very slim chance at winning anything after the first few days.

This is why gambling on poker machines is so utterly stupid - they can be programmed to deliver payouts whenever the owners want. It's not like gambling on roulette, or a card game: those are based on physical objects which can't be manipulated like a computer program can. Hell, you could program a poker machine to never pay out, but you can't stop a roulette ball from falling in slots with a particular probability.

Inequity

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I work in corporate for a cruise ship company. A majority of the labor workforce on these cruise ships are recruited from the Philippines, Indonesia, and India. All things being equal. A white crew member will always be paid more than an Asian. Even if they have the same job title and are doing the same work. It's pretty messed up.

Ships are very segregated with respect to culture/race and job. It's comically stereotypical on some ships, with Asians doing laundry and Indians cleaning rooms and Filipenos doing grunt work and cleaning the deck. And of course, Italians running the ship and the engine room.

Tales to Tell

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I worked casinos on 23 ships from 89-2000. Over 400 cruises. I could write a book on what goes on. I remember a photog (cruise ship photographer) told me he was asked to go down and take photos somewhere on the lowest deck and he said there was a foot of water down there. We continued to sail for months after that. Nothing was ever mentioned about it again.

Many times I have stepped into an elevator and there were small fires in the free standing ashtrays.

I was working (if I can use this word to apply to casino staff) on a ship sailing across the Baltic from Karlskrona (Sweden) to Gdansk (Poland) with mostly Swedes as passengers. As staff on this particular ship we never did a boat drill or were issued life vests. Unbelievable I know. The Baltic is notorious for rough seas and on one of those nights (I'm talking really bad weather) after work our neighbor, totally freaking out, knocks the door and says "come look at this". We had the only 2 occupied cabins on this row. 3 cabins down the porthole had blown in and water was pouring into the cabin. The ship is flying every which way and my cabin mate starts putting on all his clothes like Joey in friends saying if we're going down I'm not leaving anything. He was a bit of an idiot tbh. I had been in worse storms (Hurricane Andrew to name one) and I'm a pretty calm person so I said we should go to the bridge and check out what's going on. There was one guy up there and he said this is normal. "It's an old ship. Don't worry." I just went to one of the bars. In the morning the ship docked and it was trashed inside. Windows broken with stuff all over the floors. No alarm was ever sounded. We sailed that evening as usual.

Running a Tab

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Drinks at the crew bar are INSANELY CHEAPER than at passenger bars.

If I remember correctly, Carnival gave us 30% discounts, as crew members, at passenger bars, and it was still 5x more expensive than drinking below deck.

Spic & Span

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I worked on a ship for two summers and could answer loads of questions, but the cleaning standards are very high! There's an organization I can't remember the name of that visits ships randomly to check cleanliness and if the ship doesn't meet standards they can't sail. I worked in the kids activity center and the last day of every cruise we would do a 2-hour special clean with a certain cleaning solution and rags in literally every nook and cranny. Toys get steam cleaned, toys with small holes in them get hand washed, toys with lots of crevices get cleaned with q-tips, etc. Last inspection my ship passed with like a 94% or something like that.

Outbreak

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I've been working on ships for almost a decade now, engineering department. When the Ebola scare of 2014 went down I was crewing a passenger ferry. During a safety meeting someone asked what would happen if we got a passenger showing symptoms. We were told the ship would be quarantined until the disease had run its course. Imagine just sitting in the bay on an Ebola ridden ship.

Death on the High Seas

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That if you die on board at sea from something other than natural causes (heart attack, old age) your death will probably not be investigated properly. Ships need to get back to port on time to load up the next set of passengers. *sweeps details under rug

Slave Wages

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Anyone that works below deck and not always in view of passengers usually works 70-80 hour weeks while sharing a cabin the size of a closet with 4 people.

I worked as a musician on cruise ships for a year, ending a few months ago. My main concern was how the cleaning staff are treated. As a musician, we get amazing privileges. The cleaners were doing 7 hour split shifts, so 7 hours on, 5 hours off, 7 hours on, 5 hours off, every day, 7 days a week for up to 9 months straight. All of this for a basic wage of $500. It was appalling. I was on 6 times that amount, doing 3 hours work. On top of this, they're not allowed in guest areas without permission other than the corridor of rooms they clean, meaning they have to wander around the dinghy crew areas every day without barely seeing sunlight.

Modern day slavery.

Just In Case

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Getting airlifted off a ship in a medical emergency costs a fortune, and your insurance will likely not cover it. It's the best reason for purchasing travel insurance.

Travel insurance is also cheap. I think it was $20 for a week and included like $1 million in airlifting coverage on top of other stuff.

Disembarking

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I'm a student working sidejob on a cruise ships every week. When a ship makes a turnover at the port, we would come and help the crews doing luggage/housekeeping jobs. Since we are only external helpers, I don't know much about what happens during the trip. But during the turnover the schedule is pretty tight. Basically you have to clean rooms/deliver luggage to 3000+ passengers in around 6-7 hours. Everyone is rushed and the rooms might not be cleaned well. Sometime they don't even change the bed/pillow covers, so if you are unlucky, you might get some that have been used for weeks by 10+ people.

Also they don't care about the luggage. It gets thrown pretty violently. At the end of every shift there usually 3-4 broken wheels lying around. (Small tips: check in early, buy luggage with 4 wheels. If we can push you luggage easily, we will be more careful with it, and the later the shift gets, people will be more and more violent with the luggage since we are too tired to do it properly)

Most of the crew doing the hard work are Asian, they have to work 12-13 hours a day and only get paid 5-6$ per hour.

Pool Clue

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Please for the love of God and all things good, do not get in the swimming pool. I bet you did not know three toddlers defecated in there within the hour did you?

This must vary by cruise. The one I was on, the pool was constantly being drained because of human waste, and they "had to" drain it each time for legal reasons.

Super Steward

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Are the stewards trained to read minds? Or are they just amazing at their jobs? Do they have monitors watching the doors to see when you leave so they can clean?

I was taken along on a ladies cruise by a cruise-crazy family member (husband's aunt), and I'd never been on a cruise before. We stayed in the Concierge level (because the one who was paying was posh). My room steward was a Filipino man and he absolutely made my stay amazing. I asked about an extra pillow one day to use as a body pillow, and he took pillows and sheets and made me this big Tootsie roll thing for a body pillow. Every day it was re-rolled with a clean sheet. I loved the toiletries and used up an entire bottle of lotion every day on my sun-burnt body, so each day I began finding 3 bottles of lotion with the clean towels. I ordered an iced tea with 2 lemons in my room after dinner 2 nights in a row and for the remaining nights of the trip, when I came back to my cabin after dinner there was a cold iced tea, 2 lemons each time. I swear the second I left the room for meals it got cleaned or turned down or fancied up. I was a poor slob who spent a week feeling like a queen because of that guy. I asked my posh host about tipping etiquette at the end and she gave me an envelope for him. It had $400 in it. I added another $100 from my spending money. He made the trip for me. Thank you, Filipino steward dude on my Celebrity cruise in April 2013, you rock.

Proposals

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We had a couple leave out 7 sex toys on the counter with a note asking if their steward would like to join the fun.

The note had a yes, no, maybe check box, like in 3rd grade.

We All Go Sometime

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I was touring a ship for a future event. The ship was about to leave for a 100+ day cruise. I saw alot of old people getting on with oxygen tanks. I asked him what happens if they die on board. He said it was very common for old people blow their life savings to come spend their last days on this cruise. He also said they have a fully functional morgue.

A lot of people die. Depending on the line, it's not unusual for a couple a week. Depending on the age of the ship, there are decent odds someone died in that room. Also, if you receive an upgrade mid cruise, there's a reason why a room is suddenly available.

Is There a Doctor on the Ship?

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1: Don't go to the cruise ship infirmary for anything to do with a stomach or bowel problem.

You will likely be quarantined in your cabin for 24-48 hours as a precaution for gastrointestinal disorders; those issues can be very contagious on a cruise ship. So that means if you need Immodium or drank a bit too much and feel queasy, you better get those OTC medicines in port. Forgot to tell my dad that when he went on his first cruise 3 months ago...whoops.

2: Cruise ship doctors just have to be licensed in their home countries...regardless of very different requirements in certain parts of the world.

I got strep throat 8 days after starting my second contract for my 3rd time as an adult. Cruise ship doctor insisted that I only had tonsilitis, despite my previous experiences and symptoms, and under-dosed me with penicillin. Spread into my skin, which they proceeded to tell me it is shingles. They couldn't understand why I didn't believe them. Finally convinced the ship/company to let me see a dermatologist in port. Bam, I was right-strep infection that had spread. That doctor was fired after he misdiagnosed numerous other very treatable things for passengers.

In general, you shouldn't trust a cruise ship doctor.

Jobs That Seem Easy But Are Actually Incredibly Challenging

Reddit user CeleryLover4U asked: 'What's a job or profession that seems easy, but is incredibly challenging?'

Woman stressed at work
Photo by JESHOOTS.COM on Unsplash

When we hear about other people's jobs, we've surely all done that thing where we make assumptions about the work they do and maybe even judge them for having such an easy or unimportant job.

But some jobs are much harder than they look.

Redditor CeleryLover4U asked:

"What's a job or profession that seems easy but is incredibly challenging?"

Customer Service

"Anything customer-facing. The public is dumb and horrendous."

- gwarrior5

"My go-to explanation is, 'Anyone can do it, but few can do it for long.'"

- Conscious_Camel4830

"The further I get in my corporate career, the less I believe I will ever again be capable of working a public-facing job. I don’t know how I did it in the past. I couldn’t handle it in the present."

"I know people are only getting worse about how they treat workers. It is disturbing, embarrassing, and draining for everyone."

- First-Combination-12

High Stakes

"A pharmacist."

"You face the public. Your mistake can literally kill someone."

- VaeSapiens

"Yes, Pharmacist. So many people think their job is essentially the same as any other kind of retail worker and they just prepare prescriptions written by a doctor without having to know anything about them."

"They are very highly trained in, well, pharmacology; and it's not uncommon for a pharmacist to notice things like potentially dangerous drug interactions that the doctor hadn't."

- Worth_University_884

Teaching Woes

"Two nuggets of wisdom from my mentor teacher when I was younger:"

"'Teaching is the easiest job to do poorly and the hardest job to do well,' and 'You get to choose two of the following three: Friends, family, or being a good teacher. You don't have enough time to do all three.'"

"We all know colleagues or remember teachers who were lazy and chose the easy route, but any teacher who is trying to be a good teacher has probably sacrificed their friends and their sleep for little pay and a stressful work environment. There's a reason something like half quit the profession within the first five years."

- bq87

Creativity Is "Easy"

"Some creative professions, such as designers, are often perceived as 'easy' due to their creative nature. However, they may face the constant need to find inspiration, deal with criticism, and meet deadlines."

- rubberduckyis

"EVERYBODY thinks they are a designer, up until the point of having to do the work. But come critique time, mysteriously, EVERYBODY IS A F**KING DESIGNER AGAIN."

"The most important skill to have as a designer is THICK SKIN."

- whitepepper

Care Fatigue Is Real

"Care work."

"I wish it could be taken for granted that no one thinks it's easy. But unfortunately, many people still see it as an unskilled job and have no idea of the many emotional complexities, or of how much empathy, all the time, is needed to form the sorts of relationships with service users that they really need."

- MangoMatiLemonMelon

Physical Labor Generally Wins

"I’m going to say most types of unskilled labor and that’s because there’s such little (visible) reward and such a huge amount of bulls**t. I’ve done customer service, barista, sales, serving, etc; and it was all much harder than my cushy desk job that actually can be considered life or death."

- anachronistika

Their Memory Banks Must Be Wild

"I don't know if I'd call it incredibly challenging, but being one of those old school taxi drivers who know the city like the back of his hand and can literally just drive wherever being told nothing but an address is pretty impressively skilled."

"Not sure if it's still like this, but British cabbies used to be legendary for this. I'm 40 and I don't think most young people appreciate how much the quality of cab service has gone down since the advent of things like Uber."

"Nowadays it's just kind of expected that a rideshare/cab driver doesn't know exactly where you're trying to get and has to rely on GPS directions that they often f up. Back when I was in college, cabbies were complete experts on their city."

"More even than knowing how to get somewhere, they could also give you advice. You could just generally describe a type of bar/club/business you're looking for, and they'll take you right to one that was spot on. Especially in really big cities like NYC."

- Yak-Mak-5000

Professional Cooking

"Being a chef."

- Canadian_bro7

"I would love to meet the person who thinks being a chef is easy! I cook my own food and it’s not only OK to eat but I make a batch of it so I have some for later. So, to make food that is above good and portion it correctly many times a day and do it consistently with minimal wastage (so they make a profit), strikes me as extremely difficult."

- ChuckDeBongo

Team Leading, Oof

"Anything that involves a lot of people skills and socializing. I thought these positions were just the bulls**t of sitting in meetings all day and not a lot of work happening but having to be the one leading those meetings and doing public speaking is taxing in a way I didn’t realize."

- Counterboudd

Not a Pet Sitter At All

"Veterinary Technician."

"Do the job of an RN, anesthesiology tech, dental hygienist, radiology tech, phlebotomist, lab tech, and CNA, but probably don’t make a living wage and have people undervalue your career because you 'play with puppies and kittens all day.'"

- forthegoddessathena

Harder Than It Looks!

"Sometimes, when my brain is fried from thinking and my ego is shot from not fixing the problem, I want to be a garbage man... not a ton of thinking, just put the trash in the truck, and a lot of them have trucks that do it for you!"

"But if the robot either doesn't work or you don't have one on your truck, it smells really bad, the pay isn't what it used to be, you might find a dead body and certainly find dead animal carcasses... and people are id**ts, overfilling their bags, just to have them fall apart before you get to the truck, not putting their trash out and then blaming you, making you come back out."

"Your body probably is sore every day, and you have to take two baths before you can kiss your wife..."

"Ehh, maybe things are not so bad where I am."

- Joebroni1414

Twiddling Thumbs and Listening

"Therapist here. I’ve always said that it’s pretty easy to be an okay therapist—as in, it’s not that hard to listen to people’s problems and say, 'Oh wow, that’s so hard, poor you.'"

"But to be a good therapist? To know when your client is getting stuck in the same patterns, or to notice what your client isn’t saying? To realize that they’re only ever saying how amazing their spouse is, and to think, 'Hmm, nobody’s marriage is perfect, something’s going on there'?"

"To be able to ask questions like, 'Hey, we’ve been talking a lot about your job, but what’s going on with your family?' And then to be able to call them on their s**t, but with kindness and empathy? Balancing that s**t is hard."

"Anybody can have empathy, but knowing when to use empathy and when and how to challenge someone is so much harder. And that’s only one dimension of what makes being a therapist challenging."

- mylovelanguageiswine

Constant Updates

​"For the most part, my job is really easy (marketing tech). But having to constantly stay on top of new platforms, new tech, updates, etc etc is exhausting and overwhelming and I really hate it."

"Also, the constant responsibility to locate and execute opportunities to optimize things and increase value for higher-ups. Nobody in corporate roles can ever just reach a point of being 'good enough.' More and better is always required."

"Just some of the big reasons I’m considering a career change."

- GlizzyMcGuire_

Performing Is Not Easy

"Performing arts and other types of art. People think it’s a cakewalk or 'not a real job,' not realizing the literal lifetime of training, rejection, and perseverance that it takes to reach a professional level and how insanely competitive those spaces are."

- ThrowRA1r3a5

All About Perception

"I suspect everything fits this. Consider that someone whose job is stacking boxes in a warehouse has to know how to lift boxes, how many can be stacked, know if certain ones must be easily accessible, know how to use any equipment that is used to move boxes around."

"Not to mention if some have hazardous or fragile materials inside, if some HAVE to be stacked on the bottom, if a mistake is made and all the boxes have to be restacked, etc."

"But everyone else is like, 'They're just stacking boxes.'"

- DrHugh

It's easy to make assumptions about someone else's work and responsibilities when we haven't lived with performing those tasks ourselves.

This gave us some things to think about, and it certainly reminded us that nothing good comes of making assumptions, especially when it minimizes someone else's experiences.

Left-handed person holding a Sharpie
Kelly Sikkema/Unsplash

Many of us who are right-handed never even think about how the world is designed to cater to us.

It probably doesn't even cross your mind that 10% of the world's population is left-handed.

Because of this, there tends to be a stigma for being left-handed since society tends to associate the left with negative things.

For example, the phrase "two left feet" applies to those who are clumsy and therefore, incapable of dancing.

Curious to hear more about the challenges facing those with the other dominant hand, Redditor johnnyportillo95 asked:

"What’s something left-handed people have to deal with that right-handed people wouldn’t even think about?"

If only manufacturers appealed to an ambidextrous world.

Furniture Obstacle

"Those desks or couch chairs that have a small desk attached. They do make left handed/sided ones but they are few and far between."

– Prussian__Princess

"And they’re only on one side of the lecture hall, and it’s never a good seat. There is ONE front row, lefty desk in the entire room and it’s in the far corner, obscured by an ancient overhead projector."

– earwighoney

Everyday Objects For Everyday People

"as a left-handed person myself, one thing we often deal with is finding left-handed tools or equipment. many everyday objects, like scissors or can openers, are designed with right-handed people in mind, which can make certain tasks a bit more challenging for us lefties. we also have to adapt to a right-handed world when it comes to writing on whiteboards or using certain computer mice."

– J0rdan_24

Dangerous Tools

"The biggest risk is power tools. I taught myself to use all power tools right handed because of risks using them left handed."

"Trivial, I love dry boards but they are super hard to write on."

– diegojones4

It's hard to play when you're born with a physical disadvantage.

Sports Disadvantage

"Allright, Sports when you are young. Every demonstration from PE teachers are right handed. You cant just copy the movements they teach you you need to flip them and your tiny brain struggoes to process it. As well, 98% of the cheap sports equipment the school uses is right handed."

– AjCheeze

No Future In Softball

"I tried to bat right handed for so long in gym class growing up because the gym teacher never asked me what my dominant side was and the thought never occurred to me as a child to mention it! Needless to say I never became a softball star."

– Leftover-Cheese

Find A Glove That Fits

"In softball and baseball we need a specific glove for our right hand that's often impossible to find unless you own one, and we have to bat on the other side of the plate."

– BowlerSea1569

"I was one of two left-handers in a 4-team Little League in the 1980s. Nobody could pitch to me. I got a lot of "hit by pitch" walks out of it."

– Jef_Wheaton

These examples are understandably annoying.

Shocking Observation

"Having right handed people make comments whenever they see us write, like we’re some kind of alien."

– UsefulIdiot85

"'Woah! You're left-handed????'"

"I find myself noticing when someone is a lefty, and sometimes I comment on it, but I try not to. I'm primarily left-handed (im a right handed wroter but do everything else left), and every single time I go to eat with my family, someone says, "Oh hey, give SilverGladiolus22 the left hand spot, they're left-handed," and inevitably someone says, 'Wait, really?' Lol."

– SilverGladiolus22

Can't Admire The Mug

"We never get to look at the cute graphics on coffee mugs while we’re drinking from them."

– vanetti

"I just realized…I always thought the graphics were made so someone else could read them while you drink. Hmmm."

– Bubbly-Anteater7345

"I'm right-handed and I often wondered why the graphics were turned towards the drinker instead of out for others to see."

– Material-Imagination

The Writing On The Wall

"Writing on whiteboards is a nightmare. I have to float my hand, which tires out my arm quickly, and I can't see what I've already written to keep the line straight."

– darkjedi39

"Also as a teacher, it means I'm standing to the left of where I'm writing, so I'm blocking everything I write. I have to frequently finish writing, then step out of the way so people can see, instead of just being able to stand on the right side the whole time."

– dancingbanana123

Immeasurable

"Rulers."

"How the f'k is no one talking about rulers? It's from 30cm to 0 cm to me, or I have to twist my arms to know the measure I want to trace over it."

– fourangers

Just Can't Win

"EVERYTHING. The world has always been based around people being right handed. As a Chef, my knife skills SUCKED until I worked with a Left Handed Chef. Then it all made sense."

"Literally, everything we do must be observed, then flipped around in our heads, then executed. This is why Lefties die sooner, on average, than Righties."

"I had to learn how to be ambidextrous, just to complete basic tasks (sports, driving a manual, using scissors, etc). I am used to it now, and do many things right handed out of necessity, as wall as parents and teachers 'forcing' it upon me."

"But, at least we are not put to death anymore, simply for using the wrong hand (look it up, it happened)."

"Ole Righty, always keeping us down."

– igenus44

The world doesn't need another demographic to feel "othered" for being different.

But if you're right-handed and tend to make assumptions about left-handed people, you may want to observe the following.

Ronald Yeo, PhD, professor of psychology at the University of Texas-Austin told CNN:

"We shouldn’t assume much about people’s personalities or health just because of the hand they write with."
"And we certainly shouldn’t worry about lefties’ chances of success: After all (as of 2015), five of our last seven U.S. presidents have been either left- or mixed-handed."

Word.

Dog lying down on a bed
Photo by Conner Baker on Unsplash

Not all pet owners have the same relationship with their pets.

While anyone who decides to become a pet owner, or pet parent as some say, love their pets equally, some never ever let them leave their side.

Taking their pet with them to work, running errands, even on vacations.

Many pet parents even allow their pets to share their bed with them when going to sleep.

For others though, this is where a line is finally drawn.

Redditor Piggythelavasurfer was curious to hear whether pet owners allowed their pets to share their bed with them, as well as the reasons why they do/don't, leading them to ask:

"Do you let your pet sleep in your bed? Why/why not?"

The Tiny Issue Of Water...

"Absolutely not."

"I have fish."- Senior-Meal3649

Everyone Gets Lonely Eventually...

"I adopted an eleven year old cat the day before Halloween."

"She has mostly lived in my closet since I got her, and she hasn’t been too interested in coming out."

"Last night, she came out of my closet and jumped up on my bed, and crawled under my covers and curled up by my feet to sleep."

"I was so happy!"- YellowBeastJeep

The Comforting Reminder That You're Not Alone...

"I recently lost my Greyhound but I used to let him sleep on my bed with me."

"The company was nice and he was no trouble to have on my bed."- HoodedMenace3

Hungry Cookie GIF by De Graafschap Dierenartsen Giphy

What Do You Mean Allow?

"I have no choice."

"She is a cat, cats do whatever they want."- Small_cat1412

"He lets me sleep in my bed."- Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way

"I carry my old boy upstairs to bed every night."- worst_in_show

Hug GIF by The BarkPost Giphy

Who Needs An Alarm Clock?

"I let my two cats sleep with me."

"They're so full of love and just want cuddles all the time."

"And so do I."

"We've all developed a lil routine."

"Get to bed, oldest sleeps on my feet to keep them warm, youngest lies in my arm while I lie on my side (she the little spoon), then when I snooze my alarm for work in the morning the youngest paws at my face and meeps loudly to wake me up."- GhostofaFlea_

Whose Bed Is It Anyway?

"Yes."

"They're also kind enough to let me squeeze into whatever space they've left for me."

"Although I do get a few dirty looks off them."- Therealkaylor

"I found this tiny kitten screaming her head off under a car."

"Would not come out."

"Got some food and some water in dishes."

"I stood by the tire so she couldn't see my feet."

"She got curious about the food and water and started gobbling it down."

"I thought she would bolt when I squatted down."

"She was too busy eating."

"I grabbed her by the nape of the neck and all four legs went straight out and she tried to scratch me to death."

"I got her in the door and tossed her toward the couch."

"She ricocheted off the couch as if she was a ping pong off a table and I lost sight of her."

"I put out food and water and a sandbox and did not see that kitten for three days."

"On the third day, I came home and she was on my bed pillow."

"I thought she would bolt when I came near, but she didn't."

"I wanted to sleep so I tried to scoot her little butt off my pillow."

"She would not go."

"I put my head down to sleep and that is the way it was from then on."

"She ran the roost."- Logical_Cherry_7588

sleepy kitten GIF Giphy

Sleeping Is A Prerequisite...

"No, he's a cat and he cannot keep still during the night."

"He walks across the headboard, opens the closet doors, jumps into the windows and rustles the blinds, etc."

"If he would sleep he could stay, but alas, he's a ramblin' man."- Spong_Durnflungle

Saying No Just Isn't An Option...

"'Let'."

"Lol."

"It's a cat's world and I'm happy to be on her good side."- milaren

Felines Only!

"The cat does, the dog doesn't and the horse certainly does not either."- Xcrowzz

Angry Tom And Jerry GIF by Boomerang Official Giphy

Is That My Hair On That Pillow?

"My dog is perfect."

"She comes up, cuddles til we start to fall asleep, then gets down to sleep on her bed so she doesn't get too hot."

"Jumps back up in the early morning for wake up cuddles."

"The hair everywhere is the only downside but she is so cozy, what can you do."- HoodieWinchester

It is easy to understand how some people are able to fall asleep more easily knowing their friend and protector is there, in bed, with them.

Though we can't blame others who don't want to run the risk of being scratched or bitten in the middle of the night either...


Close up of an owl tilting their head to side, looking bewildered
Photo by Josh Mills

The old wives' tales.

They are the stories of legend.

I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.

Where did they originate?

WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!

You don't hear about them as much anymore.

It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.

But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.

Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:

"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"

"Wait an hour to swim after eating."

What a crock!

So many summer hours wasted.

I want revenge for that one.

Say Nothing

Giphy

"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."

LonelyMail5115

"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."

I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA

Say Something

"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."

Severe_Airport1426

"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."

crappycurtains

"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."

AlbinoShavedGorilla

Body Temps

"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."

chriseo22

"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."

"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."

apocalypticradish

Arms Down

"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."

Fatmouse84

10 Years Actually

Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine Giphy

"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."

REDDIT

"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."

Gecko-911

I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.

This tale is haunting.

High/Low

Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace Giphy

"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."

LeastFormal9366

"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."

IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI

The Cursed

"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."

"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."

SmoreOfBabylon

Stay In

"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."

"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."

worldbound0514

Dreams and Facts

"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."

"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."

mattshonestreddit

"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."

Darthdemented

Cracked

Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office Giphy

"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."

Choice-Grapefruit-44

"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."

MacyTmcterry

I love my knuckles.

Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.