It is a universally acknowledged truth that kids are master minds of cruelty. They have a sixth sense which allows them to pinpoint the source of insecurity in another human, craft a statement that is as cruel as it is creative, and launch the insult with cold and distant absence of guilt whatsoever.
Unfortunately, Redditors remind us that other adults, even friends, can provide self-esteem battering statements just as bad. Years later, statements like these fork into two distinct paths: the humorous shade offered by hindsight or the profound snowball growing intensity.
Reddit was stocked with both.
TheCrowsNestTV asked, "What is the cruelest thing someone has said to you?"
A Deadpan Slam
"When I was a kid, my best friend was always kind of mean or standoffish with me at school but we hung out a lot just the two of us."
"At some point I confronted him and said, 'you keep doing this, are you embarrassed to be my friend?' He just said 'Yes.'"
-- StalkachuMeme Wtf GIF Giphy
Objectifying in the Other Direction
"It was a thing in my school where guys would go up to an 'unattractive' girl in a group, in front of everyone, and ask them on a date."
"Just when the girl would start to believe it was real and give a response, the guys would all start laughing and the one who asked would tell her it was just a joke and that, 'no one would ever wanna go out with something like you.'"
"And yes, they would say 'something,' not 'someone.' It hurts yeah."
When the Kids are the Mature Ones
"My son had a liver transplant and has huge scars on his belly. He was playing at our local park where they shoot up water. Great summer fun for young kids. Another parent says, 'they should cover that kid up so we don't have to see it.'"
"Thankfully, another parent spoke up snd said, 'just because that kid's gone through a lot doesn't mean he has to hidden to make you feel comfortable.' I started to breathe evenly and smile."
"Funny thing is, when kids asked him about his scars, my son would just say, 'I had surgery.' Then they would continue playing. Adults were more cruel."
"The worst was probably in fifth grade, just after my dad died. The whole school knew, and everyone was being really nice to me except one girl. I believe the exact quote was, 'go suck your dads d*ck. Oh wait you can't, he's dead.'"
"It didn't even hurt my feelings, more of just bewildered me like who says something like that?"
A Most Certain Red Flag
"Ex-wife once told me that she wished my mom had died of the breast cancer that she beat when I was in 2nd grade. She's been in remission for 20+ years now and has always been a sweet, thoughtful and smart lady. I had to leave the house to calm down - and luckily i left the relationship eventually."
"'You are caring, smart, treat me well, have your sh!t together, and are great husband/father material, and are a wonderful man to be around. I wish you'd lose 20 lbs. so I could date you.'"
"Dad, it's Boston Pizza. Also, that's Horrible."
"When I was 16 and looking to apply at Boston Pizza which had just opened up in our town, my dad said, 'don't you have to be pretty to be a waitress?'" -- laurieali
"Please don't say parents, for the real word is creeps." -- King_Pecca
A Backhanded Guestimation
"'Guys our age'...Dude was at least 20 years older then me. Yeah, honestly me and my partner had a laugh about it later. But at the time i died a little on the inside." -- anotherDutchdude
"He didn't think of you as older, he thinks of himself as younger." -- Hektikdt
Taking the Long Way to Attraction
"'Your freckles look like you stood behind a screen door and had sh*t flung on you.' This was a neighbor who was looking to hook up. It never happened and I quit talking to him." -- sukiintheshower
"Is this some kind of advanced ninja flirting technique I'm not aware of?" -- UHMWPE
An Out and Out PUNK
"7-year-old cousin: 'Hey derp, how old are you now?'"
"Me: 'I just turned 26.'"
"7-year old: 'You're not a man!'"
"I'm 21 and my niece is 8, but she considers us to be basically the same age. Makes me feel good when I get sad that my childhood is over." -- brearoseconfused confusion GIF Giphy
Not Something You Can Just "Try Out'
"My mom said that her life would have been better if I never existed." -- earthling_probably
"To hopefully make you feel better, some people just should never have been parents. It's much more likely she's saying she just never should have had kids because she's not able to handle it." -- Not_A_RedditAccount
"My biological father came back into my life when I was 14 and had a girlfriend. Everything was great for a year until she made him choose between his new family, and me."
"I got a text message on Christmas Day saying 'Father and daughter relationship not working out, all the best for your future. Please dont call me, it will cause me problems.'"
Suddenly, a Snob
"There were years I worked multiple jobs to help support us while my ex was working on her doctorate. Once she had herself a tenure track university position, she let me know I wasn't 'educated enough to be married to a professor' like herself."
"I have my bachelor's degree."
"Well, I found myself sleeping on the sofa for about a week, while looking for an apartment so I could move out. During that time, every morning as she'd greet me with the phrase 'Why haven't you killed yourself yet?'"
At Least an Insult is Attention at All
"Nothing. When my best friend of 20+ years ghosted me, that was the cruelest thing." -- MelissaMiranti
"Wow, that's terrible. I really hate when people don't even have the guts to say why or have an adult conversation instead of ghosting." -- Neilia_Moon
Abusive Control 101
"'No one will love you like I love you because you're uninteresting, boring, & annoying.'"
"Getting past it a day at a time, but I do occasionally find myself apologizing my husband for being 'boring/annoying.'"
Severely Out of Touch
"I struggled with anxiety caused bulimia a few years back... One of my best friends (who has some self consciousness issues so she likes unhealthily skinny bodies.) told me after I recovered and gained my healthy weight back that I 'looked better when [I was] bulimic.'"
"....That made me feel so small and empty."
The First 25 Minutes of "Grease"
"9th grade year I met a girl who moved on to my block the week summer break started, we spent almost every day together. We lost our virginity to each other."
"First day of school and she won't talk to me because I'm not on of the 'cool kids.'"
"The boy I had a crush on in high school had kissed me and I was pretty excited about possibly dating. When I asked him about it the next day he said he didn't like me in that way."
"I asked why he kissed me then, and he said, 'I needed to make sure I didn't like you.'"
A Wild Escalation
"My stepson told me he was glad that my husband and I have fertility problems."
"He was 15 at the time, and pissed that he was in trouble after several of his teachers had contacted us to tell us he wasn't doing his homework or completing schoolwork and assignments."
"Asked a girl out and just got "ewwww" as a response. So that was cool. A no would've been fine."
"This happened to me too. That's rough bud." :(
-- Trekkimonmichelle obama eww GIF Giphy
My mother told me once that no one nice or decent would ever want me/be able to love me. Crazy how much stuff like this sticks on your relationships
Edit: you guys are amazing people to be willing to share your stories--I'm so sorry all of you have had to experience this nastiness. I hope you're all currently doing well and I appreciate all of you. <3
I crashed my motorcycle quite a few years ago now. I was being stupid and didn't have my gear on. So I have some very extensive scars on my arms and legs.
I'm super insecure about them. I've worn long sleeves since they've healed.
Last summer I was feeling good about myself and not caring. So I went to the beach in a bikini.
I was sitting there reading a book when a group of girls behind me starts talking about me.
There were several comments about my appearance but the one that really stuck was, "God, she should just kill herself so we don't have to look at her."
Yeah so much for self confidence that day.
I was in a car accident, no harm to me at all. Told the story to a couple people. One literally said, and I quote "I wish you would have died in the accident." it was some idiot from middle school, he hated everyone with a burning passion. He said other things too, such as "your parents are what made the plane fliers on 9/11 do it."
I was about 16 and sat on the train next two two preteen girls. The song on my MP3 player switched and therefore i could hear them. One girl pointed at me and said "That is your new boyfriend." the other girl replied "Eeeeww, no yours!"
Can confirm. Girls go through a stage where they can never admit to other girls that they like boys (at least they did 30ish years ago when I was that age. Its weird.
Had a huge crush on a friend in high school and asked her to a dance, she said no which was fine. Nothing was weird.
Then about a week later she started telling me how upset she was that no one had asked her to the dance and when I brought up I had her response was:
You don't count.
Apparently she thought I had just asked her to be nice or something. When I told her that wasn't the case she still said no but apologized for saying it. Still really hurt though.
Not to me directly, but my mum once said "I don't like him anymore" to my sister when I was in clear earshot, so it was meant for me.
It's the context that got me, considering it was all over me not being comfortable enough to go back into school to get a Christmas pudding, and getting so mad at me over something so small overwhelmed me and made me feel like a failure, I guess. Was also through the worst time in my life, which she knew about.
"If I were you I'd just freaking kill myself."
Good thing I wasn't suicidal in high school. Same guy ended up running away from home and dying his hair trying to hide from the cops that year, so yeah that dude had issues. We were sorta friends later, I don't know if he even remembers making the comment.
I was around 15 year old. I was hanging around with my friends and there was this guy who had recently started joining us every once in awhile. He was someone classmate but I don't think he was close to anyone and I thought it was weird that he was hanging out with us as it was hard to see him fit in, there was so little in common.
We rarely ever spoke to each other directly.
But then he once said pretty much out of the blue "If Horredu ever gets a girlfriend I will die by laughter".
Group of friends laughing, they can't help it and someone almost rolling on the floor. Someone agreed between the burst of laughs.
Affected my self-esteem a lot, probably more than I've understood earlier.
Being 26 year old now and still never been in a relationship, I sometimes think they were right.
Pray for your Soul
This will get buried but mine was hands down when a co-worker/decently close acquaintance told me to my face that maybe if I had prayed harder and put more faith in the lord my son wouldn't have died. Witch had worked with me since before I got pregnant, through the genetic dx while still pregnant, his birth, multiple surgeries etc. and knew damn well what the hell happened and still had the gall to say that crap. Mind you this was also like 6 years later and I'd already had two more children, countless hours of therapy, and with one statement she stabbed me in the heart all over.scared season 1 GIF by The White Princess Giphy
In a horrid twist of fate - the eldest of her two children was killed in a motorcycle accident about 18 months ago. My heart broke for her and I did reach out to offer my condolences, no parent should ever experience that kind of loss.
But I would a lying hag if I didn't admit that a hateful little voice inside me whispered to my soul 'maybe she shoulda prayed harder.'
But She Did
This wasn't really said to me, but it was said to my mom about me. I had admitted to my grandma that there was a girl that we both knew that I had a crush on (I'm a girl). I said it quick so I didn't think she'd catch it. But she did. A while later, she looked my mom dead in the eye and said something like, "It's such a shame. Your daughter WAS so pretty. Such a WASTE." So I'm a shame AND a waste... And if you think she ended there oh hoho!!! You're wrong!!!
She later called my sister EXTREMELY FAT in front of me (I went up against her for that one). And right after we shunned her from our family, I found out there was a chance that she was "watching" my big bro because he, "Reminds her of her dead husband." She did way WAY worse than that to my mom. Even calling my mom a parasite in the middle of a restaurant. I'm glad she left. We almost got kicked out of our home because of her screwed up lies.
"Your friend deserved to get stabbed." (Friend got a knife pulled on him in a fight at a party, stabbed him 7 times, critically wounded him and partially paralyzed him for life).
Births and Deaths
It wasn't too me, but about me. Everytime I'm around my mom and she has friends or family over she'd always being up how painful giving birth to me was. She said that she was considering giving me up for adoption because I was the most painful out of her 5 other births. (I'm the second oldest) I know she's probably trying to make a joke or something but it gets old when you 13 times a day. And. Sometimes I wish she had given me up for adoption.
"You're awkward" - coworker to me in my nervous first few weeks at a new job.
It was small but confirmed my fears that I might not fit in, the anxiety to follow was crushing.
Ended up making plenty of friends at my new job, he isn't one of them.
My mom told me she was worried I would abuse her and my dad when they got old because I was abusive as a teenager. I agonized over that for a couple years before I finally convinced my parents to go to a therapy sessions with me, where I found out the teenage "abuse" she was referring to was, according to her, me pushing past her roughly once as a teenager and getting too many parking tickets.
I lived to please my parents for most of life, so hearing her accuse me of abuse when I'd sacrificed my own integrity for a long time to make them happy... that really hurt me.
You're not for us
Was approached by a modeling agency once in a shopping centre with my best friends. I was very shocked as I'm quite self conscious at 5ft 11" and very curvy, so it was extremely flattering. Didn't have enough confidence to do anything about it so just left it as a nice memory. My best friend was bragging on my behalf to a group of kids in school the next week and one girl just looked me up and down and said "Oh I didn't know the menswear department of 'Middle aged clothes shop' were looking for models?'... I was 15f and it killed my confidence for years...
In middle school a girl found out I had a crush on her and decided that best way to go about dealing with that was telling everyone at lunch how ugly she thought I was because I had acne at the time. Which really sucked. Because I was already super self conscious about it and kind of just a shy person in general.
Was made even worse because it was a small private school. So everyone knew everyone's business and there was no getting away from it. I stopped eating lunch in the lunchroom for all of that year.
It sucked and the whole thing honestly made me feel like crap for years.
As we got older and were in high school, I think she tried to get back on my good side. But she never actually apologized and honestly, that ship had already sailed for me. Too little and way too late.
On the last day of senior year I let all the air out of three of her tires.
"It's a good thing you can't have kids, you would make a terrible mother."
"You won't be a real woman until you have children."
While I was grieving my sister's passing, my mother told me "You need to suck it up because I have it worse than you. I had to bury my own daughter so you need to be helping me instead of focusing on yourself."
I didn't finally get the chance to grieve until I started dating my husband.
It wasn't cruel in the way that it hurt me, but really bothered me. My mom had died a few years prior and was considering getting a tattoo in memory of her. She had always wanted a trinity knot on her shoulder blade and we had even discussed getting matching ones. I told a friend this and said "I can still get it, even though she can't get a matching one because she is dead". My friend responded "you could be close by putting her ashes in a vibrator!"
Like, what the freaking hell.Giphy
"I'm so disappointed in you. It's like I don't even know you anymore."
-my mom, after she discovered I had online friends... who I had known for 4 years. God forbid I take a road trip to see them, I guess...
Just Be Happy
"Suck it up, other people have it worse."
One of the few times I reached out to talk about my depression with a friend and she said this to me. Took the wind out of my sails, and that was 7-8ish years ago. I haven't spoken to a single soul about my depression since and never will. I don't really talk about how I feel or what I go through. I wear the mask that everything is good.
Try to Grow
When I was 12 my family and I went to a farmer's market. This couple was handing out samples and the husband said "Let the boys try some."
I said "I'm a girl."
The wife then yelled at me saying "Well grow some freaking boobs, then you'll look like a girl!!!!!"
Why so Rude?
My ex-bf saw the stretch marks I have on my inner thighs and said it looked like I had been scratched by a bear, even though he perfectly knew how much I was insecure about my physical appearance. Also a girl I knew a year ago used to bully me because she thought it was funny when I got angry, then one day I started to snap back at her rude comments and she told me that I was a horrible person and that I had serious mental issues.
You're a mistake and an embarrassment. You are a disgrace to this family. -My older brother in a restaurant with my parents watching. They said nothing to this but when I tried to tell him to just shut up I got yelled at. Yeah not only do I make better grades than him I also don't ever get in trouble anywhere except for at home unlike him who is the exact opposite.
My paternal grandmother: "He looks nothing like his father. He looks like nobody in the family. We call him the (last name) that doesn't look like a (last name)."
Meanwhile I'm a spitting image of my father. At my dad's funeral a coworker drove seven hours to speak at his funeral. I'd never met him before and his first words to me were "you are a clone of your father." Grandma hated my mom so much that she took it out on me.
Thanks for Nothing Ma
"You've always had some excuse for why you did poorly in school" - my dear old mother.
I'm 21 years old & only now getting diagnosed with ADHD because she never believed me. Thanks mom, almost getting kicked out of university was really great.
In his handwriting.
I'm sure there's lots of things worse but this sticks so hard, mainly because I see this person daily at work and have to be polite.
My fiancé passed away this past July. I got a tattoo on my inner forearm of the message he wrote in the last Valentine's card I received from him. In his handwriting. It brings me much comfort. This guy at work, while I was still barely holding it together maybe 4 weeks after the funeral, saw it.
He grabbed my arm, pushed my sleeve up, read it, and announced in front of everyone in the room(50-60 people) "How stupid are you? He's dead. You can't hang onto him. You'll never get anyone to sleep you now. Nobody will want you with the reminder that you loved someone else!"
I immediately melted down, nuclear. A couple of kind souls took me into my office, I'm not sure what was said to him, but he swears to this day he has no idea why I won't speak to him unless I'm forced. Of course he's not brave enough to ask me either.
That's not True
I did poorly in grade school on language and math, but our grade school actually has a history and geography class and I was always good at them. There was one time that I was the only one that scored the bonus question because I paid attention during class (wasn't in the book).
The teacher gave my test back and we were asked to stay quiet while she hands them out, and I did. When I talked to her afterwards at question-time, I showed my test with the right answer to her and she said, "you wrote it after I handed you the test". And no I didn't, I really really didn't. And I still remember her like, 20 years later still.
"I hope that someday you'll hate someone as much as I hate you."Giphy
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
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We aren't perfect. There's plenty of things in our pasts that we look back and cringe at.
That being said, sometimes those cringe moments go far past cringe. Sometimes they get to the point of no return awfulness because that's where our human nature took us in this moment.
He's Not Dead<p>When I was 17 my brother walked into a room where I was lying down on my back and stamped on my chest. </p><p>I saw red and stood up and punched him square in the face, unfortunately this was in a doorway in front of a staircase, which he fell down backwards and when he hit the wall at the bottom folded up in such a way I thought I'd killed him. </p><p>He didn't move for what seemed like forever and I was certain he was dead, the world just spinning out around me. </p><p>He wasn't dead, obviously, but knocked out briefly and he never laid a finger on me again, after being the kind of nasty bully who had spent much of my childhood just randomly beating on me for his own enjoyment.</p><p>Those were the longest seconds of my life.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/MrSpindles/" target="_blank">MrSpindles</a></p>
Complete And Total Taking Over<p>I don't know about "haunts" but it makes me cringe. In public school we had this thing in our school called 'Jumpstart for Kids' where you'd go around, often door to door, collecting money for this charity once a year. </p><p>Anyway I was 12 and I liked a boy in highschool and he convinced me to take the envelope and go door to door and collect money... to give to him so he could buy a drum set. </p><p>I walked around collecting from all these sweet people who told me I was so nice for collecting money for underprivileged kids. Fortunately I got caught and my parents made me donate it instead. So embarrassing.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/heather-rch/" target="_blank">heather-rch</a></p>
Scene Of The Crime<p>Provincial Park, pay shower, 12 years old, line-up to get in. Towards the end of my turn in the shower, get the urge to poop. Cannot hold it. Using a sock to smoosh the last of it down the drain, water turns off. Out of quarters. Put a towel over my head, run out of there past the line-up.</p><p> Get back to the camp site, immediately change clothes, shoes, hairstyle, put on a ball cap. Work up the courage to go by the area later on, it is all cordoned off. Hear people angrily discussing how someone took a dump in the shower.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/eskerhobolo/" target="_blank">eskerhobolo</a></p>
When Bullying A Bully Isn't Worth It<p>We had a camper in this large campground at a lake when I was growing up. Tons of families with kids riding bicycles and golf carts up and down the gravel roads through the property. </p><p>There was this one kid that was a few years older than me (I was 10, he was probably 12 or so) who's dad was the security guard and they lived on site and he was the biggest punk in the park. He'd try and wrestle you in the pool, throw rocks at you as you were fishing, ride off on your bike if you left it laying around, bully and hit smaller kids, even girls. </p><p>I was driving the golf cart down a pretty steep, gravel hill one day when I came up on him on his bike, going the same way as me. He never turned around to acknowledge I was there so I got up just to the side of him and turned HARD right into him. We were both going probably 10-15 miles an hour down this hill. </p><p>He took a nasty spill and rolled off the side of the road and wasn't moving. I kept on going, acting like nothing happened. We were completely isolated so no one saw me. I remember him getting taken away in an ambulance and hearing that he'd been hurt pretty bad.</p><p> I immediately felt remorse for what I'd done but never said a word to anyone. He or anyone else never had any idea I did it either. I look back now and think about how much of a financial strain I put on that family, seeing as how they were already living in a camper. That was a really REALLY evil thing I did and it still crosses my mind quite often.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/harp9r/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">harp9r</a></p>
Not Hurting<p>So you know the carnival horses you can sit on outside of grocery stores (back in the 90's). Well I wanted to ride one and this sweet old woman tried to help me get on, slipped, and really really hurt herself falling into the ride. I just remember hearing her scream and I got scared and ran away.<br></p><p>I'm 31 years old and think about that day at least once a week.</p><p><span></span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/packhawk2689/" target="_blank">packhawk2689</a></p>
Gotta Get Up, Gotta Get Out<p>Easy. When I was 5, I burned my house down.</p><p>We were living in a small home, me, my sister, mom, dad. I was supposed to be in the bed, but I wanted a toy or <em>something</em> that was under my bed, and I didn't want to wake my parents by turning on my light... soooo I grabbed my dad's cigarette lighter and light the flame under my bed. Needless to say it went up like a match. </p><p>My dad tried to stomp the fire out after I started screaming fire, burning his leg horribly. My room and the source of the fire was blocking EVERY other bedroom from escape, so everyone had to jump out of a window. Funnily enough, I don't remember the world-class a** whipping I must have received for that. I just cringe at the thought that I almost killed all of us being a dumb kid.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Paradigm_Pizza/" target="_blank">Paradigm_Pizza</a></p>
Escape<p>I was married to an insanely abusive man. After two years I escaped and he killed himself shortly after. Not sure if it was him avoiding charges, or avoiding his deployment but his family decided it was 100% my fault. They told the police I gave him the gun and encouraged him. </p><p>That was investigated and unfounded. What they didn't know was he'd scanned and emailed me his suicide note the wee hours of the morning of. The police didn't find the note. Of course I handed it over when they asked. His family would not believe I wasn't involved or at fault and harassed me for a long time. </p><p>If I got a job and they found out about it they'd call and leave so many complaints I'd get let go. Found out what I drove and had their other kids and their friends follow me. </p><p>I ended up having to leave that town and disappearing to avoid them. But before I did, I printed a copy of his suicide note, found his moms car at her job, and left it on the window shield. That note detailed the abuse his father put him through, his rage at his mother for never leaving him and making himself and his siblings live with the SOB. </p><p>That he never wanted me to blame myself, that this was his way of getting the hell away from them and the damage he caused. I felt pretty bad for awhile. But at the same time.... they literally wouldn't leave me alone and stalked me for 5 years.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/TinyTinasRabidOtter/" target="_blank">TinyTinasRabidOtter</a></p>
If You Give A Pup A Shower<p>Bored in the house one day alone when I was about 10, so decided to give my dog a shower, I genuinely loved my dog, he was my best friend growing up, but for some unknown reason I decided to turn the shower onto hot water only (extremely hot) and started showering him. There was a delay I guess in him reacting because his fur was so thick, which meant I kept it on him for a few seconds.</p><p>suddenly He started yelping like dogs do when in pain, his instincts were to not be aggressive or try to escape but just looked at me scared and confused.</p><p>I panicked smashed on the cold and cooled him down as quick as I could.</p><p>Fortunately he was not 'burnt' or had any ongoing issues, he never even lost trust in me.</p><p>I felt physically sick and ashamed in myself for days after, and obviously it still bothers me 20 years later.</p><p>The good thing to come from it is that I was so disturbed by my action that I have never knowingly inflicted pain on anyone or anything since.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/ChrisLeeHD/" target="_blank">ChrisLeeHD</a></p>
Caught In The Act<p>I was at school and for no reason at all, I eavesdropped a very private and delicate conversation between one of my teachers and her husband. </p><p>Then she opened the door and saw me eavesdropping. It was beyond humiliating and I deserved the scolding afterwards. I was young and stupid obviously, but when I remember the look on her face, I still cringe hard, even if it's been almost 20 years.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/naydeilinsei/" target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer">naydeilinsei</a></p>
Shunned<p>Second grade, I had a classmate (fake name Sasha) who was kinda awkward. Crooked teeth, quiet, not too bright. Didn't really have any friends within the class, though she did have some people she would hang out with at recess. </p><p>In any case, a boy in the grade above us, a friend of my brother's actually, for some reason decided to spread a rumor among all of us that Sasha had lice and to stay away from her. </p><p>I bought it without a second thought, and so did most of us; as far as I know, she wasn't particularly teased, but she was just shunned. No one talked to her. </p><p>She was around till the end of the year and didn't come back for third grade. No clue what happened to her, but I really hope we didn't mess her up too much.</p><p>Next summer, I got the worst case of head lice my pediatrician had ever seen. Karma, my dudes.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Isabel79540/" target="_blank">Isabel79540</a></p>
I don't miss high school or the people in it. People who seem to have peaked in high school also weird me out. How? Why? I can definitely tell you that life got much more interesting the older I got (my 20s were way more fun than any of my time in high school). If you were to ask me if I have any regrets, I suppose I would say that I wish I had been more assertive and stood up for myself more. Depression has a way of complicating goals like that, though. Let me tell you: It feels nice to be so much healthier than I was then.
After Redditor Sub2735 asked the online community, "What's your biggest regret from high school?" people shared their stories.
"I'm sure the mentality..."<p>Being too shy, I'm sure the mentality that everyone hated me wasn't very good for making friends.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpad84o?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">aeflare</a></p>
"I'm not sure how it could have gone differently..."<p>Dropping out. I am not sure how it could have gone differently, but I do wish it had. It was expensive to upgrade all that education to get into post-secondary, and I also missed out on a lot of social things.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpafhng?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">DaughterEarth</a></p>
"I was already pretty cynical..."<p>I was told I had received a full-ride scholarship, so I stopped putting in any effort on other scholarships. When the time came, it wound up being awarded to someone who applied late, got it due to their family's income level, and then dropped out of college after one month. My first two years of college were a financial nightmare as I had to pay my own way on everything (except rent, as I lived at home and commuted across state lines for work and college). If I had $50 at the end of the month, that was a damn good month. I couldn't get student loans and my parents refused to help, so I had worked out a deal with the financial office at college to pay something like $550 a month, which was about 90% of my income.</p><p>I regret not confronting whoever made that decision about the scholarship. I somewhat regret not putting in the effort to get other scholarships at the same time, but I can't blame myself for it either.</p><p>I was already pretty cynical at that point, but that was when I realized just how quickly your back becomes a knife block for someone else's optics.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpalo5m?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">A_Garbage_Account</a></p>
"I used to daydream..."<p>I used to daydream about going back one day and burning it to the ground, but it's just been demolished by land developers. So I guess that dream's dead.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpafcpx?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">EducationTangle06</a></p>
I suppose the phrase, "Always follow your dreams"...<p>...doesn't apply in this case.</p>
"Acting like a clown..."<p>Acting like a clown, annoying everyone to the point where no one really stayed in contact with me after, and taking my precious little charter school for granted.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpae5ak?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">SalFunction12</a></p>
I have a friend who has expressed similar concerns about his time in high school.<p>He ended up spending his college years going to therapy and maturing. His clownish antics were a coping mechanism for a lot of crap going on in his life at the time. He's happier and healthier now and that's what matters.</p>
"To be fair..."<p><span>Dating my best friend. To be fair that's how I found out a lot of people weren't really my friends but getting ghosted afterward really hurt.</span></p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpasudw?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">kannacantplay</a></p>
"She got tired..."<p>I took my crush to Daft Punk Alive 2007 instead of my best friend. She wasn't responding all day, and I was with my friend. We were about to leave when she called. She'd been with her boyfriend all day and had forgotten about the concert. I took her. My buddy was disappointed but cool about it.</p><p>She got tired of being on the floor halfway through so we sat in the bleachers. We started walking out before the encore because she wanted to get home sooner.</p><p>Always wanted to take my buddy to a Daft Punk show after that, and was going to, no matter where or how much it cost. But I'll never get the chance.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpbd6so?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">spanishgrapelaw</a></p>
"Looking back now..."<p>I regret not telling my crushes how I felt about them. Looking back now, I know that those puppy love relationships probably wouldn't have developed into anything long term and I no doubt would've had my heart broken when they inevitably ended but, I can't help but wonder: What if?</p><p>Having cultivated a host of insecurities by the time I got to high school, I was really good at hiding my inner thoughts and feelings - I also probably didn't see myself very clearly. So, I just assumed that there was zero chance of my crushes reciprocating my feelings and never said anything to them about it. I also probably sub-consciously ignored any signs that they were interested in me (again, didn't see myself clearly, was very insecure).</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpazwl2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Vegoceraptor</a></p>
"The world is wider..."<p>Not engaging with opportunities available to me and just looking at it like a holding pen just before adulthood.</p><p>It may seem hokey, but join clubs, try out lots of sports, pursue interests, pay attention in class and engage with your peers.</p><p>The world is wider for adolescents than I allowed myself to believe it was at the time.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpaxnsf?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Big_Requirement_3540</a></p>
"I already knew I was quitting..."<p>Senior year I had the option of a guaranteed internship and doing half days at school. Turned it down because my parents wanted me to be in band (and I enjoyed it so didn't put up a fight).</p><p>I already knew I was quitting when I went to college. The internship would have been great experience to propel my studies/career.</p><p><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv5ytu/what_is_your_biggest_regret_from_high_school/gpatszd?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">ClubbsMcLubbs</a></p>
High school isn't easy.<p>Nor is it particularly fun for a lot of people. Remember how awful being a teenager was? Remember what it was like to feel like you were at the whim of your hormones all the time? It's an emotional rollercoaster. It's no wonder so many people would rather close the book on high school once it's over (or have some regrets related to their time there).</p><p>Have your own stories? Feel free to share them in the comments below.</p>
When we are on the outside looking in, it can feel so obvious that a relationship is doomed.
When we offer advice to friends, family, or people oversharing at a party, the correct next move often seems wildly obvious: get out of that relationship.
Enough Was Enough<p>"He was mentally ill, possibly with Paranoid Personality Disorder, definitely delusional, maybe schizophrenic. I was accused of all types of things, affairs, being part of plots to 'get' him, even urinating on his toothbrush."</p><p>"I stayed for 3 years after I knew I no longer loved him because I knew he would spiral without someone to look after him. He had destroyed every relationship with his friends and family because they were all also out to 'get' him."</p><p>"I finally told him I would only stay if he got help, which he refused. So I left."</p><p>"I was right about him spiralling. He went from sharehouse to sharehouse as all the other tenants were 'out to get him'. He eventually ended up homeless for a while is now facing 18 different charges so will probably end up in jail."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpal6ip?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">damekl</a></p>
An Unfortunately Common Response to Fading Love<p>"She threatened to kill herself and even though I wanted out of the relationship, i didnt want her to be hurt or die. I remember us arguing about something very trivial but she was getting very upset. She walked out mid conversation and came back with cuts all over her legs and thighs."</p><p>"I tried getting help from parents, school counselors, doctors. None helped. So i just tried to manage as much as I can. Eventually she joined the military & moved away and that was the moment I was finally free."</p><p>"Years wasted though."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpab7fm?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">corazon_im_hurt</a></p>
A Bare Bones Story<p>"Short version: domestic violence."</p><p>"Long version: I was afraid to leave because I believed he would find me and kill me."</p><p>"Conclusion: He pushed me too far and I ran."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpaizjk?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">AliceMorgon</a></p>
Tipping Over the Edge<p>"He was a violent drug addict and I was scared of what he may do if I left. I never truly loved him but our relationship became very codependent very quickly."</p><p>"He cheated on me, took advantage of the fact that I had a car and money, but I still stayed because he was always threatening to kill himself or to kill my cats."</p><p>"Then one night he literally backed me into a corner and tried to punch me in the head so that finally made me open my eyes and realize I had to get out."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpb5z6l?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Theging96666</a></p>
Optics<p>"She's terminally ill, and dying of Cancer, even though she is abusive now, and was before, I can't really leave, the social pressure to be a *good man* plus the cost of divorce and everything else is just too much, at this point it's just easier to wait it out."</p><p>"Plus I really like her family, and if I left her when she was sick...it would pretty much kill that relationship."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpbm18j?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Boise_State_2020</a></p>
Always a Reason to Stay<p>"We were living together at 16, she cheated on me and I told her I wanted her to leave, she begged me not to send her back to her moms house because they have like 8 people in a 2 bedroom house and because she would've had nowhere else to go."</p><p>"I was 16 I didn't know how to handle a girl literally begging me so I let her stay against my better judgement and it created a hurtful cycle of falling in and out of love."</p><p>"Feeling like things could get better and then having my world come crashing down every time I look at her because I think of reading the message of the guy saying he loved watching her get on top of him."</p><p>"A couple of years go by and we're not in love, just tolerating each other at this point and then we got pregnant, stayed together through the pregnancy but the stress was too much for both of us and caused fighting, sleeping apart, more cheating."</p><p>"When the baby was born she had finally turned 18 and we moved away our relationship got much better with each other, we're best friends now and are just trying our best to raise our daughter to be healthy and happy and know she's loved."</p><p>"Neither of us had good childhoods."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpa47ed?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Lapidot-Wav</a></p>
For the In-Laws<p>"I lived with a man I never loved. His mum was also living with us and I loved her more than my own biological mum."</p><p>"She was the nicest, kindest and the most caring soul I have ever met in my life. I left that man when he told me that he knew I was only with him because of his mum. That was 20 years ago but I still miss her every single day."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpbz7av?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Mayfl21</a></p>
A Sudden Shift<p>"I was with my wife for 14 years. For at least half of that, I wasn't happy with the relationship. But I had decided I was ok with it because everything about our life together was acceptable, for lack of a better word."</p><p>"We owned a house, made good money, got along well, shared hobbies, etc. We were basically roommates/best friends who just didn't love each other the way you would normally expect from a married couple."</p><p>"When the pandemic hit, and we were forced to stay home more and spend time with each other EVERY DAY, we started to get a better sense of how well we actually tolerated each other. It didn't go well."</p><p>"She ended up getting really into online gaming and met some other guys and basically cheated on me. In retrospect, it was obvious it would reach that point."</p><p>"But I was content to stay there as long as I could because it was a comfortable life with very little stress and obligation."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpaadi2?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">knucklehead923</a></p>
Slow Fade<p>"I was no longer as 'in love' with her. But I still loved her. After years together it could become tricky to figure out exactly what It's just a lull and what is it really going away."</p><p>"I was still living with my best friend. But ended it because once we really realized that I wasn't feeling the same way anymore. I was just hurting her for me to stay since she was still in love."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpa6h2s?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">collin3000</a></p>
Wise, But a Little Sad<p>"We have good chemistry and built a life together. After a lot of years, love comes and goes. It is like the seasons."</p><p>"As cold as it can be in the winter, if you put the effort in, the spring will always come back."</p><p>-- <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/lv3k1j/seriouspeople_who_have_stayed_with_someone_they/gpa41jl?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3" target="_blank">Aizpunr</a></p>
Some people don't take breakups very well. And those that don't can sometimes engage in behavior that others might view as bothersome, unsettling, even toxic.
Others engage in abusive behavior during the relationship, a major red flag that some people might not take seriously until it's too late.
After Redditor XYZ3110 asked the online community, "What's the creepiest thing an ex has done?" people shared their stories.