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You guys, kids are creepy. If you're a parent, you probably know this - or maybe you just were the creepy kid - like me! Remember guys, all of the "quirky" "dark" celebs we love were probably creepy kids at one point. So we're not saying creepy kids stay creepy - just that we really need to acknowledge their existence. And maybe get to some healthy redirecting. I mean, it's not their fauly they're creepy. They just are.


Reddit user @Edge_Goldie asked:

Parents of Reddit, what is the creepiest thing a friend of your kid has done at your house?

Brace yourself, you're about to enter a world of entitlement, lack of boundaries, inappropriate activities, and at least one or two pet murders. Yeah... kids are terrifying.

"I Think We May Have A Problem" 

Tried to kill my baby by smashing his head between the couch and coffee table. I told the mother. Next night she says, "yeah, he tried to do it to the dog, I think we may have a problem". Oh yeah, THAT'S where we should draw the line. Christ.

- Punklet2203

The Peanut Butter Sandwich

We had friends at church who were very nice, but somehow ended up with deeply disturbed children. I walked in on their son pleasuring himself with half of the peanut butter sandwich I had just made him.

- CheddaHed

Using It As A Foot Massager

Not a parent, but once at a sleepover when I was about 12 my dad ordered pizza and one of the girls kept stepping on a slice and using it as a foot massager... my dad is still perplexed by this even over a decade later.

- AllyMarie93

Playing Dad

I am not a parent but we used to have this creepy neighbor kid that didn't understand boundaries. He wasn't allowed at our house after a few incidents, but our neighbor thought we were being harsh and let him play with her kids.

He was around 10-12 and her daughter was 8 or 9. After their play date her daughter told her the boy had wanted to play house and he was going to be the "Dad" and she would be the "Mom."

After pretending to beat her around as "Dad" he then started dry-humping her.

Obviously, he was never allowed over again and the neighbor went to raise Hell at that kid's parents but they got defensive of their son and threatened her.

It's pretty clear now that he was reenacting what he thought Moms and Dads do based on what went on in his own home.

- bonezillion

Helping Yourself

I'm the weird kid in this story...

There was this kid I used to hang out with all the time, I used to go over to his house and we played video games for hours straight. This one time, me and another friend went over to his house to ask him if he wanted to come play with us. They weren't at home, but they had their cleaning lady in their house working.

Now I can't remember if it is the lady who invited us in, or if we invited ourselves in given our familiarity with the place, but one way or another we went inside and helped ourselves with his video games, completely unaware of the weirdness of the situation that we're in. The lady even brought us snacks. They eventually came back to find two kids in their living room playing video games. His mom got upset with the lady I think, but I do remember her calmly explaining us that it was not okay and we shouldn't be in their home again unless they are home.

I really wasn't the brightest kid.

- oguz279

Not A Service I Offer

11 year old kid comes to my house. Friend of my daughter's. She goes into the bathroom, poops and then calls out for assistance. Apparently her parents still wipe her @ss.

Sorry kid, this is not a service I offer.

- TheFire_Eagle

"I Just Wanted To Be Like Her"

A girl came over to my house and did come super psychopath "I want your life" sh*t.

This girl I knew from 1st grade came over for a sleep over. We must have fought over something, because I went up to my room because I got so mad at her, I forget why, it must've been big though because I'm not one to march out on a guest. Anyway, while I'm upstairs crying, I see in the mesh pocket of her away bag a bright pink Easter egg with some fur stinking out of it...and I realize I hear faint squeaking. I go over, pick up the egg, and it's warm and shaking. I open it and my pet mouse like explodes out of there. I'm absolutely horrified! I see in the bag all of my favorite toys and some of my clothes.

She took them and squirreled them away in her clothes to try to hide them. I go down stairs with the Easter egg, ready to absolutely raise Hell with my evidence, only to see my mom in the kitchen quite shaken already. There she is, looking down at my pet guinea pig in its cage, nose bloody, right front paw TORN OFF, and obviously dead. This kid was sitting on the couch watching TV acting like she had no idea what happened. In less than one hour this kid brutally murdered my pet, tried to take another one for later, and planned to take my favorite toys and even some of my clothes. My mom was like "nope," sent me to a friend's house and drove that kid home because she wasn't waiting for her parents to come get her. When my mom talked to her about it while in the car, she said the girl said "I just wanted to be like her."

Never saw that kid again. Hope she's safely locked away somewhere.

- LyannasLament

Haunted House

Giphy

I was the creepy kid.

I was staying at a friend's house for the night for her birthday. Before we all laid down, we had scared each other with stories and creepy videos. I'm easily scared and kept imagining a monster under her bed, so I couldn't sleep. Instead, I kinda sat in the hallway and tried to fall asleep there.

guess her dad came home from work because he walked into the house, rounded a corner, and saw me there hunched over and unresponsive when he called out. He went into the bedroom her mom was staying in, but I felt embarrassed so I got up and went back into the room all the kids were in. Our door was cracked, so I overheard him walking back into the hallway and saying, "I swear there was a kid here! She was just sitting there!" And the mother replying, "yeah okay, go to bed." Bonus: he peeked into our room after that and saw everyone asleep (I closed my eyes when I saw him approach the door because I was worried about getting in trouble) and muttered something about ghosts, so I'm pretty sure I helped convince that guy that his house was haunted.

- sartorialfox

The Threats

One of my kids ex-friends tried to convince her to give up a toy she got for Christmas, saying things like:

"If your Mommy and Daddy loved you, they would buy you another one if I took it"
"If I had a toy like this, I would let you have it, because you should always make your friends happy."

I over heard this, then asked her to leave and not come back after she said "If you don't let me have it, I'm going to get really sad and tell your Mommy that you hit me with it, and when she puts you in time out, I'll steal it."

Friend is 4.

Psycho...

- epidemica

He Doesn't Live Here 

There was a kid in our neighborhood that was two years older than me, and four years older than my brother. He was the "bad kid" in the fifth grade, but he did a really good Eric Cartman act for his mom, where he could pass himself off as a little angel and so my mom and his mom decided it would be great for us to have a sleepover.

My mom left for 10 minutes to pick up a pizza and in that amount of time he was able to root through my parent's closet and find my mom's "ADULT" toys, which he used to beat the sh!t out of my brother. It was pretty funny actually.

Two weeks later, I'm home sick playing Unreal Tournament on the PC while my parents are at my brother's soccer game, and the doorbell rings. It's two uniformed police officers, with this 12-year-old shithead in handcuffs because he had gotten into the under-construction house across the street and somehow managed to collapse about half of their attic onto the second floor of the home, and when the police caught him he told them that he lived at my house.

- MikeOxbigg


Image by Clker-Free-Vector-Images from Pixabay

Have you ever been reading a book, watching a movie, or even sitting down for a fantastical cartoon and began to salivate when the characters dig into some doozy of a made up food?

You're not alone.

Food is apparently fertile ground for creativity. Authors, movie directors, and animators all can't help but put a little extra time and effort into the process of making characters' tasty delights mouthwatering even for audiences on the other side of the screen.

Read on for a perfect mixture of nostalgia and hunger.

AllWhammyNoMorals asked, "What's a fictional food you've always wanted to try?"

Some people were all about the magical foods eaten in the magical places. They couldn't help but wish they could bite into something with fantastical properties and unearthly deliciousness.

Nutritious

"Enchanted golden apple" -- DabbingIsSo2015

"The Minecraft eating sounds make me hungry" -- FishingHobo

"Gotta love that health regeneration" -- r2celjazz

"Pretty sure those are based off the golden apples that grant immortality. Norse mythology I think?" -- Raven_of_Blades

Take Your Pick

"Nearly any food from Charlie and the Chocolate factory" -- CrimsonFox100

"Came here to say snozzberries!" -- Utah_Writer

"Everlasting Gobstoppers #1, but also when they're free to roam near the chocolate river and the entire environment is edible." -- devo9er

Peak Efficiency

"Lembas" -- Roxwords

"The one that fills you with just a bite? My fat a** would be making sandwiches with two lembas breads and putting bacon, avocado and cheese inside. Then probably go for some dessert afterwards. No wonder why those elves are all skinny, eating just one measly bite of this stuff." -- sushister

Some people got stuck on the foods they saw in the cartoons they watched growing up. The vibrant colors, the artistic sounds, and the exaggerated movements all come together to form some good-looking fake grub.

The One and Only

"Krabby patty 🍔" -- Cat_xox

"And a kelp shake" -- titsclitsntennerbits

"As a kid I always pretended burgers from McDonalds were Krabby Patties, heck from time to time I still do for the nostalgia of it all. Many of my friends did the same thing." -- Thisissuchadragtodo

Cheeeeeeeeese

"The pizza from an extremely goofy movie. The stringy cheese just looked magical lol" -- ES_Verified

"The pizza in the old TMNT cartoon as well." -- gate_of_steiner85

"Only bested by the pizza from All Dogs Go to Heaven." -- Purdaddy

Get a Big Old Chunk

"Those giant turkey drumsticks in old cartoons that characters would tear huge chunks out of. Those things looked amazing, turkey drumsticks in real life suck and are annoying to eat."

-- Ozwaldo

Slurp, Slurp, Slurp

"Every bowl of ramen on any anime, ever." -- Cat_xox

"Studio Ghibli eggs and bacon" -- DrManhattan_DDM

"Honestly, any food in anime. I swear to god half the budget no matter what the studio goes into making the food look absolutely delicious." -- Viridun

Finally, some highlighted the things that aren't quite so far-fetched, but still far enough away that it's nothing we'll be eating anytime soon.

That tease can be enough to make your mouth water.

What's In It??

"Butter beer" -- Damn_Dog_Inappropes

"came here to say this. i was pretty disappointed with the universal studio version which was over the top sweet. it was more of a butterscotch root beer. i imagine butter beer to be something more like butter and beer, which wouldn't be crazy sweet, but would have a very deep rich flavor" -- crazyskiingsloth

Slice of the Future

"The microwave pizzas in back to the future two" -- biggiemick91

"I've been fascinated with those for years! They just look so good!" -- skoros

As Sweet As They Had

"The Turkish Delight from Lion Witch & Wardrobe. The real ones I had weren't bad but nothing special." -- spoon_shaped_spoon

"Came here to say this. I know it's a real thing, but I always imagined that it must have been amazing to betray your siblings over." -- la_yes

"You're used to freely available too sweet sweets. For a WW2 era schoolkid, it would have represented all the sweets for an entire year." -- ResponsibleLimeade



Here's hoping you made it through the list without going into kitchen for some snack you didn't actually need.

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