You guys, kids are creepy. If you're a parent, you probably know this - or maybe you just were the creepy kid - like me! Remember guys, all of the "quirky" "dark" celebs we love were probably creepy kids at one point. So we're not saying creepy kids stay creepy - just that we really need to acknowledge their existence. And maybe get to some healthy redirecting. I mean, it's not their fauly they're creepy. They just are.
Reddit user @Edge_Goldie asked:
Parents of Reddit, what is the creepiest thing a friend of your kid has done at your house?
Brace yourself, you're about to enter a world of entitlement, lack of boundaries, inappropriate activities, and at least one or two pet murders. Yeah... kids are terrifying.
"I Think We May Have A Problem"
Tried to kill my baby by smashing his head between the couch and coffee table. I told the mother. Next night she says, "yeah, he tried to do it to the dog, I think we may have a problem". Oh yeah, THAT'S where we should draw the line. Christ.
The Peanut Butter Sandwich
We had friends at church who were very nice, but somehow ended up with deeply disturbed children. I walked in on their son pleasuring himself with half of the peanut butter sandwich I had just made him.
Using It As A Foot Massager
Not a parent, but once at a sleepover when I was about 12 my dad ordered pizza and one of the girls kept stepping on a slice and using it as a foot massager... my dad is still perplexed by this even over a decade later.
Playing Dad
I am not a parent but we used to have this creepy neighbor kid that didn't understand boundaries. He wasn't allowed at our house after a few incidents, but our neighbor thought we were being harsh and let him play with her kids.
He was around 10-12 and her daughter was 8 or 9. After their play date her daughter told her the boy had wanted to play house and he was going to be the "Dad" and she would be the "Mom."
After pretending to beat her around as "Dad" he then started dry-humping her.
Obviously, he was never allowed over again and the neighbor went to raise Hell at that kid's parents but they got defensive of their son and threatened her.
It's pretty clear now that he was reenacting what he thought Moms and Dads do based on what went on in his own home.
Helping Yourself
I'm the weird kid in this story...
There was this kid I used to hang out with all the time, I used to go over to his house and we played video games for hours straight. This one time, me and another friend went over to his house to ask him if he wanted to come play with us. They weren't at home, but they had their cleaning lady in their house working.
Now I can't remember if it is the lady who invited us in, or if we invited ourselves in given our familiarity with the place, but one way or another we went inside and helped ourselves with his video games, completely unaware of the weirdness of the situation that we're in. The lady even brought us snacks. They eventually came back to find two kids in their living room playing video games. His mom got upset with the lady I think, but I do remember her calmly explaining us that it was not okay and we shouldn't be in their home again unless they are home.
I really wasn't the brightest kid.
- oguz279
Not A Service I Offer
11 year old kid comes to my house. Friend of my daughter's. She goes into the bathroom, poops and then calls out for assistance. Apparently her parents still wipe her @ss.
Sorry kid, this is not a service I offer.
"I Just Wanted To Be Like Her"
A girl came over to my house and did come super psychopath "I want your life" sh*t.
This girl I knew from 1st grade came over for a sleep over. We must have fought over something, because I went up to my room because I got so mad at her, I forget why, it must've been big though because I'm not one to march out on a guest. Anyway, while I'm upstairs crying, I see in the mesh pocket of her away bag a bright pink Easter egg with some fur stinking out of it...and I realize I hear faint squeaking. I go over, pick up the egg, and it's warm and shaking. I open it and my pet mouse like explodes out of there. I'm absolutely horrified! I see in the bag all of my favorite toys and some of my clothes.
She took them and squirreled them away in her clothes to try to hide them. I go down stairs with the Easter egg, ready to absolutely raise Hell with my evidence, only to see my mom in the kitchen quite shaken already. There she is, looking down at my pet guinea pig in its cage, nose bloody, right front paw TORN OFF, and obviously dead. This kid was sitting on the couch watching TV acting like she had no idea what happened. In less than one hour this kid brutally murdered my pet, tried to take another one for later, and planned to take my favorite toys and even some of my clothes. My mom was like "nope," sent me to a friend's house and drove that kid home because she wasn't waiting for her parents to come get her. When my mom talked to her about it while in the car, she said the girl said "I just wanted to be like her."
Never saw that kid again. Hope she's safely locked away somewhere.
Haunted House
Giphy
I was the creepy kid.
I was staying at a friend's house for the night for her birthday. Before we all laid down, we had scared each other with stories and creepy videos. I'm easily scared and kept imagining a monster under her bed, so I couldn't sleep. Instead, I kinda sat in the hallway and tried to fall asleep there.
guess her dad came home from work because he walked into the house, rounded a corner, and saw me there hunched over and unresponsive when he called out. He went into the bedroom her mom was staying in, but I felt embarrassed so I got up and went back into the room all the kids were in. Our door was cracked, so I overheard him walking back into the hallway and saying, "I swear there was a kid here! She was just sitting there!" And the mother replying, "yeah okay, go to bed." Bonus: he peeked into our room after that and saw everyone asleep (I closed my eyes when I saw him approach the door because I was worried about getting in trouble) and muttered something about ghosts, so I'm pretty sure I helped convince that guy that his house was haunted.
The Threats
One of my kids ex-friends tried to convince her to give up a toy she got for Christmas, saying things like:
"If your Mommy and Daddy loved you, they would buy you another one if I took it"
"If I had a toy like this, I would let you have it, because you should always make your friends happy."
I over heard this, then asked her to leave and not come back after she said "If you don't let me have it, I'm going to get really sad and tell your Mommy that you hit me with it, and when she puts you in time out, I'll steal it."
Friend is 4.
Psycho...
He Doesn't Live Here
There was a kid in our neighborhood that was two years older than me, and four years older than my brother. He was the "bad kid" in the fifth grade, but he did a really good Eric Cartman act for his mom, where he could pass himself off as a little angel and so my mom and his mom decided it would be great for us to have a sleepover.
My mom left for 10 minutes to pick up a pizza and in that amount of time he was able to root through my parent's closet and find my mom's "ADULT" toys, which he used to beat the sh!t out of my brother. It was pretty funny actually.
Two weeks later, I'm home sick playing Unreal Tournament on the PC while my parents are at my brother's soccer game, and the doorbell rings. It's two uniformed police officers, with this 12-year-old shithead in handcuffs because he had gotten into the under-construction house across the street and somehow managed to collapse about half of their attic onto the second floor of the home, and when the police caught him he told them that he lived at my house.
Real life contains the scariest horrors you could ask for. So aren't we all living in a horror movie, in a way? At least, these people sure freakin' were.
MisterSnowman69 asked: What was a moment in your life that felt like a horror movie scene?
In the words of the legendary Mary Vivian Pierce in the film Pink Flamingos, “Murder merely relieves tension”. I’m sure the following Redditors felt differently.
Nothing scarier than the woods at night.
Went into a real deep woods hike for only the second time in my life.
My gps broke and had to rely on my compass. Got turned around a few times because I couldn't remember the direction I came from, and it was getting dark. Lost the trail way.
But the woods are weirdly silent in the dark and alone.
It was around 2am by the time I found the trailhead.
Darn foxes.
the simpsons react GIFGiphyMy friend and I got lost late on one foggy night in the Italian countryside. There were rats all over and every once in a while we heard someone scream.
I've never been more sure I was about to get murdered than I was that night.
It was probably a red fox that was screaming.
Could've also been a lynx, but they are much rarer in Italy.
At least she wasn’t speaking in tongues.
My mom is quite the sleep talker, but it's usually pretty short and incoherent when it happens. One night as a teenager, I woke up to her scream-yelling the Hail Mary prayer (my bedroom was across the house and upstairs).
Difficult to get back to sleep after that one.
Sometimes scary sh*t ends up just being funny coincidences. Super funny. Right?
Don’t give them any ideas.
I was exploring an abandoned mental asylum and then got the scare of my life when a scary looking person inside one of the rooms was just staring at me without moving. Turns out some joker had left a cardboard cutout there.
And now I have plans this weekend... Just need to find a couple of cardboard cutouts and to break into the local abandoned asylum.
Don’t you hate when that happens?
Evil Dead Horror GIF by Coolidge Corner TheatreGiphyI was driving home on backcountry roads at midnight in heavy fog. Like can't see 10 feet in front of you thick. Suddenly I see an all-white silhouette running in front of the car. Every hair on my body stood up. I immediately think "oh god, oh f*ck, it's a f*cking woman in white, I'm gonna f*cking die"
Nope just a drunk who dove into the ditch.
Gotta love paranoia.
When I was about 12, my parents went out for dinner leaving me home alone. We lived out in the country, on a private road with only three other houses, surrounded by cow fields and wooded areas.
I went into the the kitchen and glanced out the window towards the trees and there in the fading light I could see a person walking slowly through the woods. They were wearing all black, moving slowly and appeared to pause behind trees. My heart started pounding so hard in my ears I couldn't hear anything else and I was weak and shaky from fear. I froze and just watched them. Would they come to the house? Where were they going?
This was before cell phones but I suddenly remembered my mom had left the number of the restaurant by the living room phone. Slowly, I made my way towards the living room, trying to watch this stranger in the woods.
Just as I entered the living room, all the lights in the entire house went out. By this time it was nearly dark outside. I started openly sobbing and in the dark I heard a weird boom like noise. That was it, I ran to my parents room, hid under their bed and sobbed. That's where my mom found me hours later (it felt like).
Well, turns out the stranger in the woods was a stupid cow that had busted through a fence, the lights going out was from an accident a few miles away (hit the power line) and the boom was the pilot light in the gas stove. Man, I have never been that scared in my life though!
I have a lot of questions.
A naked man who was covered in blood chased me across a park at 2 in the morning. I was totally alone. He just wanted money for a bus (????) and luckily nothing bad happened but I thought I was going to die.
But of course, the genuine horrors do exist. And they aren’t scary in a fun horror movie way, they’re actually terrifying because they can happen to anyone.
A scary few seconds.
car chase GIF by Mayans M.C.GiphyI am a "baby" in a car seat in between cousins in backseat. Dad is driving. This is in the 80s and it is my aunt's insistence that I am in this seat even though I am like 5.
A sleeping semi driver is coming over into our lane and there is a cliff on other side. Basically my dad did some amazing driving but semi blew us up. I am uninjured sitting in the seat swinging my legs while everyone is unconscious. They all wake groaning. Dad doesnt wake up.
Long story short just minor scrapes and dad has broken leg. But the crunch of metal and those few seconds/minute of being the only "alive" person was quite fear inducing.
Glad they’re all ok now.
Two days after my now boyfriend told me he liked me he fell from a zip line and broke his back. Almost died. 6 months later he got into a car wreck from a drunk driver - almost died. 6 months after that, he passed out and had to have emergency brain surgery, again, almost died. I now have severe anxiety/separation anxiety/and ptsd. That whole year was a f*cking nightmare
Edit: we're both okay now, the brain injury was almost a year ago. But TBIs take a while to heal so he still has side effects. Thankfully our relationship is still strong; he's physically getting better and I'm healing emotionally too. Lucky for him, the trauma of the injuries has caused him to forget the majority of the pain and memories of those incidents.
ALWAYS wear a helmet.
Driving home from work at 23, listening to my favorite song.
I pull up to a red light, and see this guy on a motorcycle coming up next to me in the other lane. I rolled down my window to compliment his bike when he stops. He doesn't, and runs the red light. He hits a car going at least 55mph. His motorcycle shatters apart, he goes flying, hits the hood of another car, and lands on the ground and rolls into the curb (no helmet). The car he hit with his motorcycle was totaled. I had to step over his body to talk to the police. He was still alive when they got there. I regret not holding his hand. It was just a normal day, and all of a sudden it felt like the rug was pulled from out beneath me. He was only 18.
Edit: The song was Sunny by Boney M., for those curious
What did we learn today, kids? Foxes scream like humans, shadowy figures are usually cows or drunken rednecks, and once again, PLEASE WEAR A HELMET WHEN YOU RIDE ANY KIND OF BIKE.
Scary sh*t surrounds us. But where there is horror, there are heroes. So next time you think you see a scary figure in the woods, know that Bruce Campbell is probably right around the corner
Hypocrisy is everywhere; it's like a disease. And sadly everyone does it. Some of us indulge in smaller doses than others. But some people live their life by it. Like how can you support civil servants, like police, firefighters, etc... yet try to find ways to hide money in order to not pay taxes? Tell me... I'll wait.
Manga...
Hungry Night Court GIF by LaffGiphyItalian moms that say you're too fat then say I'm making grandma cry by not finishing my pasta.
Asian moms too! Not only that if you try to not eat, they make to go containers for you. Oh, sorry I have to leave, RUNS AT LEAST HAVE SOME FRUIT.
Phonies...
Celebrities positioning themselves as champions for social justice while launching a clothing line with no comment on the labor conditions their garments are made in.
Sexy Times...
The Porn Industry
Why is prostitution considered a crime, but it becomes perfectly legal once a camera is put beside them?
I think the first amendment helps with that one. There's been many a supreme-court case about whether porn is protected speech.
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall...
You can get away with WAY more crap, in general, when you're attractive.
But we all kind of aspire to attractiveness and it's not like it's attractive people's fault, exactly. So what is there to be done?
So true. Money and beauty are treated like virtues and they aren't. They're luck of the draw. It probably helps you to be a better person if people assume that you are gentle and clever just by looking at your face or wallet.
KIDS
GIF by MOODMANGiphyPeople screaming at you if you don't want Kids and Kids are the greatest thing in the World and then turn around and whine how expensive they are and how annoying yadda yadda.
Yeah see... humans are a mess. And too often then not, personal conviction and dignity are just a myth, or a punchline. Double standards have always been a way of life. And many of us have begrudgingly learned to navigate.
Fashion
Fashion Model GIF by NYFW: The ShowsGiphyIf a skinny person wears something out of the ordinary, it's a fashion statement and awesome. It can even just be something like a crop top or overalls.
But God forbid a fat person wear the same thing.
Distractions
The hypocrisy hypocrisy. People love to call it out but rarely notice it on themselves and if they notice it then it's something completely different or a distraction.
That's the worst. I hate that I have to hate that. But if I don't hate it, then the hate will just continue. So, really, my hate comes from my love of an end to hate. So anyone who hates my hate hates love. And we must hate anyone who hates love!
My Morality
My own personal hypocrisy; When I was a lot less well off financially, delivering pizzas trying to get through college, I kept a cup of coins in my car. When a homeless person would approach me for spare change, I gave them the cup. Most of the time it was nearly full, so there was probably 20-30 dollars in there.
Now that I have a good salaried job, even if I've got a few bucks in my wallet, I tend to not even make eye contact anymore. I know it's awful, I know it makes me crappy, but the last 4-5 years have made me a jaded craphead towards people in general. I used to be so hopeful and I wanted to help everyone, and tried to live a life that reflected that.
Now, while my general and political morality is pretty much the same, my personal morality has gotten more grey. I'd jaded, I hate people, I assume the worst of people I used to assume the best of. I don't really care about the strangers around me like I used to, but I still expect everyone else to.
Placing Blame
Victim mentality.
It's so freaking frustrating when it becomes entrenched. "You did this, it's your fault" "you should've known to do x, its your fault" Yeah bro your problems aren't my problems and if all you do is make excuses and blame me for them, it's not going to be my fault when you don't develop as a person and accomplish your dreams. I'm sure they'll find someone to blame though.
In D.C.
Donald Trump Reaction GIF by Election 2016GiphyPoliticians work part time, are given free housing, education, and health care, and exempt from the everyday violence we experience, but refuse to lift a finger to help us.
At this points most people running for a position in the government are only in it for the benefits of being a politician and the amount of money they can embezzle. Well in my country at least.
Just speak a truth and live it. Yes, it maybe hard. But what part of life isn't? Hypocrisy is just lying. Plain and simple. And it's a sin to lie.
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