Image by Enrique Meseguer from Pixabay |
I hate haunted houses. I've even skipped the Haunted House ride in Disney World.
Our homes are suppose to be sanctuaries. Not some afterlife hot spot for spirits run amok.
You wanna haunt a place in afterlife, find a nice cemetery. Or at least chase down the people who did you wrong when you were here.
Leave me and my little space alone. I have enough issues with living, breathing psychos.
I am not a bump in the night person. I already have enough issues falling asleep, so I will not be living in or visiting any haunted places. And if I find out it is a spiritual vortex, I'm out!
Redditoru/scarymovie77wanted to hear about real estate that leaves people unnerved, by asking:
What is your "my house is haunted" story?
Maybe it's PTSD. When I was a kid, there was a haunted house across the street from my apartment in Queens. Some murder had taken place there so of course nobody would buy it. And the owners let it fall into decay...
Bless Me Father
max von sydow priest GIFGiphy"A pastor died of a heart attack in the house I grew up in (before we owned it)."
"When I was a baby, I was sick with Croup. Apparently in the night I was having trouble breathing and was beginning to suffocate. The ceiling light fixture in my nursery fell out of the ceiling and smashed on the floor, waking my parents who found me choking. Parents are absolutely convinced the pastor's ghost had intervened and saved my life."
"shave and a haircut"
"When I was little, I had a loft bed with a desk underneath. I've always been a pretty heavy sleeper, I could fall asleep at a concert, so it was strange when I began waking up at 3 in the morning every morning. What was even more strange were the noises coming from the attic. Shuffling, knocking, boxes moving. My 9 year old brain rationalized it as an animal or bird that had gotten in."
"After a few weeks of crap sleep, I decided to knock back on my ceiling the "shave and a haircut" pattern because I was bored and hadn't interacted with whatever was in the attic. I waited in silence for a few minutes until I was about to fall back asleep, and then I heard it. From the ceiling a foot from my face, it knocked back the pattern. Every night when I woke up, I'd knock and sometimes get a response."
"It gradually stopped over the years but I still wake up at 3 am every night. It's weird but it only happens in my room, I sleep fine in hotels and other houses. 13 years later and I've just been getting weird vibes around my house. I feel like I'm being watched. I sometimes hear someone saying my name, most notably before bed and whatever said it is VERY close to my ear. I can feel their breath as they whisper, and it freaks me out so much that it takes hours to get back to sleep."
"The shuffling in the attic also started up again but I don't want to knock back anymore. There's a lot of weird sh*t that happens, things get moved, my dogs and cat stare at the same blank spot, but these are just what's been currently happening. I just don't know what to do anymore."
"don't be scared'
"I was a kid outside playing in the middle of the day. We lived in a 2-story apartment complex and I was located underneath a set of stairs and between two apartments so the air was very calm. My childhood friend and my sis were a bit farther from me by a locked storage room and my friend stopped and swore she saw the doorknob move. The door was usually open if it was in use but it was locked shut."
"They both stood there staring at the doorknob trying to see if it moved again but I was spooked and turned around to book it when halfway through my turn, a whisper in my ear stopped me in my tracks. It was the voice of a young girl. I stood there listening to her and I could feel her breath tickling my ear."
"I don't recall much but I do remember that she said "don't be scared." I think the gist was that she was trying to be encouraging. After she was done I turned around to see who was talking to me but no one was there. I was completely surprised to see that there was no girl so I finally booked it out of there lol."
"AWEEEE"
"My house is super haunted, but its too many little instances to put into one story. I guess I'll just go with the most recent one. A few nights ago I heard running upstairs, despite being home alone. I thought it was my cat, but then he came downstairs, and the running continued. I was a little spooked, but its not the worst thing that's happened in this house. The running lasted for quite a while, plus a few knocks."
"The next morning I was cleaning upstairs in that room and my cat crawled into a box of fabric. I thought he was being cute so I said "AWEEEE" and started to pull out my phone to take a picture. While I was still reaching for my phone, I heard a mocking "AWEEE" right behind me. I completely froze and just let myself process it for a few seconds before checking the room. Obviously I was still alone. That one spooked me a little."
People Share The Craziest Lies They've Told That Came True | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Spinning
Librarian Ghost GIF by GhostbustersGiphy"When I was younger I set up the camera on my PSP to spy on my brother, later on, I watched the video just to see the office chair spinning around on its own, wish I was joking."
- Mosey04
And the neighborhood kids, we were all idiots who thought it would be fun to take turns daring one another to go inside, at night. If you didn't go in, you were ridiculed and laughed at. I should've said go ahead laugh, I don't care, I'm not going in. But I didn't say that...
Carl's House
Horror Reaction GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy"My friend Carl's last apartment had 2 ghosts. One was a little girl who would play with your hair while you were hanging out in the living room as well as running along the vertical blinds making them swing back and forth. The second I never saw or heard but I did feel him. One night, I locked myself out of my apartment (we lived in the same complex one building over from each other) so I asked to crash Carl's place for the night while he went to work."
"But he had told me don't go in to his room. There is a male ghost who will tell you that you don't belong in there. His previous roommate had let several friends crash his room and a tall black shadow opened the door and said get out to all of them. Freaked them the hell out. So here I am on the couch in the living room. Head on the end of the couch that looks down the hall to the bedrooms and bathroom. I swear I was being watched. Then it hit me. I needed to pee. And the bathroom is right across the hall from Carl's bedroom. Fan. Tastic."
"So I slowly creep down the hall and about 5 feet from my goal I said hey man I just need to use the bathroom. Then it felt like a cloud of energy got pulled back into the bedroom despite the door being closed. So I did my thing and hauled @ss back to the couch but I put my head on the other end of the couch. Nothing outstanding but just a really creepy vibe. On the positive side at least Carl had someone looking out for him."
On Camera
"I connected a webcam to my computer way back when I was a kid. Middle of the night the camera was trained in the hallway. All of a sudden hallway lights flicker on and you see a dark figure run into my brothers room. 30 minutes later you see my brother walk down the hallway himself going towards his room. He had been playing on the family desktop all night. Really freaked me out in the morning when we reviewed I'm the footage. I believe it's still saved to the laptop not that I know where it is lol."
finally morning...
"I used to live in a basement apartment when I was in grad school. The landlady lived in the main house and while she herself was super nice and cool, her house always felt really off to me. However, she charged a reasonable amount of rent and I was only 2 miles from school. About a week or two after I moved in, I had gone to bed and the apartment was pitch black at night."
"If my landlady ever wanted to speak to me, I would hear the doors above the stairs unlock and she would call out to me. One night, I heard movement on the steps but I didn't hear her unlock the doors and it was probably 2 in the morning. She certainly didn't call me saying she needed to talk to me."
"I hear these heavy steps descending the stairs but I'm so scared that I shrink further in my bed to hide. The floor begins to creak towards my door and then nothing for a few seconds. I'm not sure if it is safe to relax and go back to bed. Then I hear the door knob start to turn. My fear makes me so scared that I pull the covers over my head to hide."
"I prayed the whole time under the covers. The next thing I know it's finally morning. I stayed in that apartment for two years. When it was my graduation, I slept in a hotel because there was no room for my family to sleep. That night in the hotel was the first restful sleep I had in what felt like forever."
"fire monster"
"Growing up our house was blessed 3 times before it became... Normal. Stuff would fly off shelves and countertops. The dog would constantly bark at the attic entry as my brother screamed "fire monster." And 1 night it sounded like someone broke in and was stomping down the stairs so my dad got his gun ready... And nothing was there. As a child I would see shadows around but probably had no idea what to think of it. Me and my brother would go to the basement together cause we were both too scared to go alone. Lol."
I didn't do it.
Neon Flickering GIF by Samm HenshawGiphy"Found random crucifixes on door knobs. We aren't Catholic."
"One morning, my sister woke up and everything that was in the attic was in her bedroom. She had attic access in her bedroom. Mom was shocked, sister was lazy, dad was out of the country. I didn't do it. Explain that."
Didn't hear a door open...
"My parents bought a (at this point) 110 year old house about 10 years ago and it feels everybody but me has had a paranormal experience in the house. My parents said they've seen a short, kinda chubby ginger kid appear at random spots in the house. Sometimes just standing in the washer/dryer room and vanishing, sometimes they'd see him at the top of the stairs and he'd walk towards my room (hooray) and disappear. Eventually, my parents were tired of it so they had my grandfather (very Christian guy) come and bless the house, and the appearances stopped."
"My brother has talked about staying up late and night and hearing someone walk up the stairs (they're very old so they are VERY squeaky), walk to his closed door, jiggle the door knob (original doors, so there was a quarter turn of play in the knobs) a bunch, stop, and walk back down the steps and stop. Didn't hear a door open or close, they just stopped at the bottom of the steps."
"My mom has also described seeing something peek out from around corners at her as she's sitting watching TV at night, she thinks it's probably just her slowly falling asleep and seeing things, but is still unsettling for her. There was a period of time where the mudroom door would kinda flex randomly like a change of air pressure. This usually happens whenever someone opens an outside door and closes it, but nobody ever was near a door, or the doors were locked."
"Probably just some weird phenomena caused by an old house, but still creepy. And yet here I am, who probably spent the most time up and alone in the middle of the night in that house, not seeing or hearing anything that wasn't explainable from night terrors and sleep paralysis (which I've always had, at multiple houses)."
I didn't flinch or look over...
"I lived in this big pre-war building in NYC and every night after I put my daughter to sleep in her room, I would lay in my bed and watch tv. The way my bed was angled I could see a sliver of the hallway out of the corner of my eye. I would always see this tall shadow pass by the door and it would jar me! I would always look over but see nothing after that. After a few years, I got so used to it- I didn't even flinch anymore."
"In fact, I had honestly started to believe I just had some sort of vision problem that caused me to see the shadow in my peripheral vision. Eventually we moved out but a week before we did- my daughter and I were just hanging out on my bed one night watching tv. All our boxes were pretty much packed, the whole apartment was ready to go. I was laying on my bed in my usual spot and my daughter was laying at the foot of the bed playing with her dolls."
"Again, my vision problem acted up and I saw the shadow out of the corner of my eye. I didn't flinch or look over, I hadn't in years- I was so used to it. But all the sudden my 8 year old child goes "Who was that?" Hoe. Lee. Heck. I jumped up out of the bed. "You saw that?!?!!!"
"raccoons in the attic"
"Moved into a new apartment about a year ago, and shortly thereafter, I heard kids stomping around on the floor above. "Oh great," I thought, "noisy upstairs neighbors." And then it hit me: I don't HAVE upstairs neighbors. Or downstairs neighbors. The whole joint is mine from ground to roof. Some friends suggested that maybe I have raccoons or other critters in the attic, but I've had those before, they don't sound anything like that..."
"And a week or two later, the "raccoons in the attic" were vacuuming the carpets. Must be g-g-g-ghosts! Actually, what it is is some bizarre architectural quirk that makes stomping around on the floors next door propagate horizontally and sound like they're coming from over my head. Been living in apartments since 1978, have never experienced this kinda thing before."
"I'm home"
"We knew a guy named Mr. Weltzheimer had died in our house, and when anything weird would happen—things falling off shelves or foreign coins appearing on the stairs—we'd joke it was him. One day my mom and a neighbor were replacing the toilet in our bathroom, and were busily working away upstairs when my mom heard the door open and close and a deep, booming voice say "I'm home." She thought it was me (at the time, a teenage girl) joking around. But it wasn't. I was over at a friend's house. When she came down to investigate, all she found were the locked front and back doors."
- justamie
Pinocchio
"I've posted about this before but it wasn't the house it was the freaking Pinocchio puppet. The thing was made of wood and looked like someone tried to convert the Disney version to polygons. The cheeks and all had sharp corners and points. One day the AC was off (it was hung under a fan) and it turned to me and started reaching out. Then the air kicked on and it went limp. We gave it back to the gifter and one of their walls burned down. Never saw it again."
No Zoom
"Okay I was in my bedroom at my desk on Zoom for school, and I always keep the door closed so there aren't any distractions. My room has a lot of empty space, especially at the entrance. And my desk chair faces the window so I can't see the rest of my room while at my desk. Well one day I'm on Zoom for my English class and I hear my door stopper go off."
"You know those spring door stoppers on the bottom of the wall behind doors? I turn around and this thing is flicking back and forth, full speed and everything, and mine is pretty stiff too. My door never opened and there was no one else in the room with me. I was scared to do my classes in my room for a whole month but it never happened again."
Giggles
"I was sitting in the living room watching TV with just me and my mom. The hallway had her and my Dad's room at the end. As we're watching we heard someone talking that didn't sound like it came from the TV. We muted it and heard it coming from the bedroom. The TV wasn't on in there. We both cautiously walked towards the bedroom and heard giggling which freaked us the heck out."
"It was coming from the closet which was open but we couldn't see anything in there. There was clearly a child's voice talking but it was... weird. Like words were spoken but they weren't words. It was almost like something the sims where it sounded like words but was not. Thank God it was in her room and not mine!"
Go away Alice!
alice in wonderland GIFGiphy"We live in an old farmhouse that used to be a boarding house for farm laborers. My four-year-old son was upstairs in his room and my wife could hear him talking to someone. She asked him who he was talking to. He said "Alice. She used to work here and feed the men but she died because she couldn't breathe."
In the Yard...
"Moved into a hundred year old house. Anytime I went downstairs while my daughter was napping, I would hear it running through the house, several times I thought it was my cheeky toddler that had woken up. Figured out it only happened when I left her alone upstairs sleeping & firmly believed it was just a small child spirit checking on her. Still creeped me the heck out. Came back upstairs one day & told it how I knew it was worrying about her, and checking in on her but that I would never go further away than the yard."
"That I appreciated that it cared, but it was actually making me really scared. I said that if she was ever in actual danger that I would absolutely appreciate it's help if I didn't realise but otherwise it was only making me worried. I only ever heard those footsteps once more: in the first few days I bought my second baby home from the hospital. I think my little friend was just reminding me that it would watch this baby for me too."
When I went in, I swear I heard screams. So I screamed and turned to run and fell through the floorboards. That did not go well. I hate haunted houses.
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People Break Down Whether A Potential Partner's Politics Are A Dealbreaker
Reddit user duckmysick100 asked: 'How important are your partner’s political views to you? Is it a dealbreaker if they don’t align with your own?'
Twenty years ago, a question about politics and dating might have elicited very different answers.
But a large part of the United States seems to be getting more radicalized and more polarized.
While two decades ago most liberal versus conservative differences in the United States were about government size or spending, now it's about who has a right to exist or have body autonomy.
Reddit user duckmysick100 asked:
"How important are your partner’s political views to you? Is it a dealbreaker if they don’t align with your own?"
Who Cares?
"Politics? Don't really care. The way I see it is that fundamentally your partner needs to be your friend."
"I don't care what any of my friend's political beliefs are and I've gone years without even knowing the political beliefs of friends. I have friends who's political beliefs I strongly disagree with and I'm still friends with them."
"I don't care, because at the end of the day my friendships don't revolve around political action."
"Many might say I'm very privileged to be in a position where I can not care about my friends political beliefs, because it means generally speaking I believe there's unlikely to be political change that really affects me."
"I don't believe that, but maybe it's true. Maybe I am privileged in that regard."
"But y'know, that's a privilege I'll gratefully live with, because it means I can have more friends."
~ AtlasClone
"If my partner were any kind of extremist who hated other people based on the political infotainment they consume, that’s a deal breaker."
"If they’re the sort of person who refuses to be friends with or interact with people 'on the other team' that’s a dealbreaker."
"Politics just isn’t all that important to me."
"There’s nothing I can do to influence it and nothing anybody else can really do, so why waste my life making it my 'big interest'?"
"And there’s no chance in hell I could survive being married to somebody who makes politics the most important thing in their life."
~ Jawahhh
Not A Dealbreaker, But...
"You don't have to agree on every single issue, but you have to share a similar worldview and set of values."
"I assume there are couples who can be together regardless, but I can't imagine my significant other would see the world in a completely different light than me."
"Yeah, exactly. Politics would be like any other issue."
"If a woman in a relationship wanted four kids and the husband wanted two, you could work through that. Or land at a compromise. Or, hell, one or both changes their mind after the first kid or two. Nothing can prepare you for being a parent other than being a parent."
"Now, say the woman was dead set against ever having kids and the guy wanted as many kids as he could produce. Just two people with completely different worldviews."
~ 2020IsANightmare
"I think they don't have to be the SAME, but they can't be polar opposites."
~ murmeltearding
"It’s gotta be the same ballpark."
"If I’m center you gotta be center or moderate left/right. If I’m hard left you gotta be at least left of center."
"Hard left + hard right just ain’t it."
~ ClilloryHinton
"They can have a different idea than me on how to fix poverty (just an example) but they have to believe poverty is a problem."
"I need someone who lives in the same reality as me."
~ jackfaire
"Perfect way to describe it. My husband and I disagree about like, whether UBI is a good way to end poverty, but not whether ending poverty is a good goal."
~ coffeeclichehere
"Political views are based on core values and, in a relationship, are an element of what I qualify as 'compatibility'."
"So no, I can't be in a long term relationship with anyone who has drastically different viewpoints."
"Some small differences around the same edge are absolutely OK and, in a mature relationship, make for enriching conversations. But fundamentally different political views—no way."
~ SamaireB
"I can be in a relationship with someone with fundamentally different political views, but those views have to be rooted in reality and there are some dealbreakers."
"Like you believe in small government...OK, I'll argue but that's fine."
"You believe we should take children from immigrants as a disincentive to immigrate here? Yeah that's going to be a dealbreaker."
~ off_and_on_again
"We disagree on some details, especially because of our professions—I’m a nurse and he is a manager in manufacturing. But hearing each others’ viewpoints is helpful in staying balanced regarding the things we do disagree on."
"When it comes to human rights, though, we are completely on the same page."
"And I could not be in a relationship with someone who felt differently than me in that area. We have children, and it’s important to me that we are aligned with how we raise them."
~ Less_Tea2063
"I might support decriminalization of all drugs and creation of safe consumption sites."
"My partner might think that’s a little too far but believes the War on Drugs is poorly handled and more resources should be put toward treatment."
"That would be a-okay with me! We don’t need to be in lockstep, but clearly we’re both empathetic to addicts and think rehabilitation over punishment should be priority."
"If my partner thinks all addicts are lazy bums and they belong in jail or dead, well—we’re not going to be together long."
~ Rastiln
It's A Dealbreaker—Now
"I have a close family member who is married to someone with opposing political views, and frankly, I think it hurts their marriage."
"Obviously it's not their only issue, but it plays a role."
"Personally, I could never do it."
"Like other people have already said, it speaks to a person's core values."
~ padall
"Back before politics became batsh*t, maybe that wouldn't be as much of a problem."
"Now there is not a lot of common ground unless you're on the same side."
~ WouldYouPleaseKindly
"A Carter era Democrat and a Reagan era Republican could have at least some common ground."
"But that ship sailed thanks to Australian media tycoons and AM radio fear mongers."
~ Grabthars_Coping_Saw
"I have a friend whose husband came out strong for a certain presidential candidate simply because he rumored to be a great businessman. He refused to listen to any negative info like, say, how racist or sexist the guy was, because 'he’ll be great for the economy!'."
"My friend makes a point of carefully studying issues and candidates and she was certain there were dealbreakers about this presidential candidate for her husband if he would only take the time to learn. But he refused."
"He normally likes a good discussion so it was weird. She ended up on antidepressants because it really changed how she saw her spouse."
"January 6 opened his eyes a bit, but he still seems to be leaning a lot more to the right than she ever expected. And this suggests their values are moving father apart."
"It’s definitely taking a toll on their marriage."
"Believe me, she’s thinking hard. It’s tough because they’ve been together almost 40 years and it’s like suddenly she’s on Planet B."
~ JohnExcrement
"I have lost a lot of respect for people who, though seemly intelligent and thoughtful, supported the crazies in a certain political party."
"They are doing real damage to our society."
"Why would I want to date one?"
~ Zoneoftotal
"There is a certain political individual that if I found out my partner supported him, I honestly would feel the need for a breakup."
"Our core values would be so far apart that a relationship would be impossible."
"Most other politicians would cause me to groan or roll my eyes."
"This man served as a filter on dating apps. Anyone who liked this guy was an immediate skip."
~ TylerJWhit
It's Always Been A Dealbreaker
"It is extremely important. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t share my values."
"For example, when Covid hit, my spouse and I were 100% on the same page about how we would handle our safety, masks, vaccines etc... even though we had never discussed what we’d do in a global pandemic."
"But we agreed because we shared values."
"I watched many of my friends’ marriages struggle because the pandemic revealed their ideological differences."
"Politics are not theoretical. They affect your life in ways you can never anticipate."
~ Electrical-Spot863
"Some people seem to treat politics like sports, like it's separate from reality and doesn't really matter which 'team' you support."
"Getting along with someone despite supporting opposing sports teams, or having different tastes in music or movies, or whatever—that makes sense."
"The winner of an election, though, can have immense impact on what happens in the 'real world' when compared to who wins the Super Bowl / World Cup / Other Notable Sports Event."
~ DragoonDM
Only a handful of Redditors said politics was a non-issue.
But they also said they'd refuse to date anyone who thought politics were important in relationships or even friendships.
But the overwhelming majority felt political differences in the current climate would make a relationship a no-go.
What do you think?
People Reveal How Their Morbid Curiosity Screwed Them Over Big Time
Let's be honest: It's 2023, and times are pretty hard for most of us. We're all just out here, trying to do our best.
But while our instincts sometimes really save our butts, there are other times that our curiosity and impulses might get carried away.
In fact, they might get so carried away, we might find ourselves in some deep, deep trouble.
Redditor Mr_Manta asked:
"How has morbid curiosity screwed you over?"
A Troubling Find
"I found a human femur when I was a teenager and decided to take it home and hide it so I could inspect it."
"I was on exchange in Spain at the time. I didn’t know what to do with it after I brought it home, so like an id**t, I put it in my luggage five weeks later when I flew back home to my family."
"Airport security and I had really, really, really, really, really long talk."
"Edit: To answer all your questions, my friend and I had taken a walk to some cemetery in a roadside town. The population was 81. We thought the town had been abandoned, by the looks of it. We were dumb kids."
"We went to the cemetery and into some abandoned mausoleum. In it were So. Many. Bones. I grabbed a femur cause I was a 15-year-old who loved biology. I took it. That wasn’t cool."
- cowsmilk1994
What in the Pink Floyd...
"I Googled my estranged father's name and found out he died of an overdose, and they turned his cremains into a brick for a homeless memorial wall."
- Planet_Ziltoidia
Not a Smart Google Search
"I once Googled Jeffrey Dahmer's apartment. I wanted to see his furniture and stuff. That is NOT what I saw..."
- Efficient-Regular-96
Emergency Medical Technician Troubles
"I work as an EMT, a young EMT so obviously, I’m curious when someone says someone is dead."
"If you are a new EMT, don’t be curious; there isn’t anything good to see just major trauma."
- Individual-Estate758
Accidental Pepper Spray
"I thought this cool lighter was on a keychain, so I pressed the button. Turns out that cool lighter was pepper spray."
- copsdoesntstarttill4
The Horrors of Fire
"From the news: 'The Station nightclub fire occurred on the evening of February 20, 2003, at The Station, a nightclub and hard rock music venue in West Warwick, Rhode Island, United States, killing 100 people and injuring 230.' During a concert by the rock band Great White, a pyrotechnic display ignited flammable acoustic foam in the walls and ceilings surrounding the stage. Within six minutes, the entire building was engulfed in flames.'"
"There is a video shot by a cameraman from a local news outlet showing the start of the fire and approximately 13 minutes of heartbreak as the fire completely engulfed the building. As he circled the building he tried to open doors and call out to let people know that there was a way out, but the smoke was incredibly thick, and all you heard was screaming."
"The part that haunts me the most was the double doors at the front of the building, where people trying to escape were piled like wood in the doorway- one on top of another - people trying to free them couldn’t and eventually had to back off because of the fire. The video ends with the cameraman breaking down as emergency services finally arrived."
- Hot-Bandicoot8066
The Power of Electricity
"As a kid, I knew that you needed two wires for electricity to power an appliance. So I thought it would be a cool idea to let the electricity flow freely from one hole of a power outlet to the other, so I bent a wire in a U-shape and plugged it in."
"With my bare hands. At school, I believe in first grade. 220 Volt network. There was a flash, and I got thrown back, but thought nothing of it until some teachers came running and I got a lecture or two about safety."
- zedman_forever
A Recurring Mistake
"I found a memory card at work (retail). It sat on our desk for over two weeks. One day curiosity won and I stuck it in my phone."
"Memes, pics of family, and old man and old lady intimate parts."
"Then Google surprised me a few years later because it had uploaded them to my Google Drive."
- Itchy_Amphibian3883
Too Close to Home
"Finding out exactly where my dad died. He died in a car accident but I was never sure quite where it happened. I stupidly looked it up and found out it was right by where I lived and even drove past that exact spot plenty of times."
"Yeah, needless to say that did me way more psychological harm than good. I couldn’t handle it. Avoid that area at all costs. My husband got a job out of state and I was happy to move there just so I couldn’t be traumatized by living by that spot anymore."
- ZestyCloseTomato555
All Equal Deaths
"I killed a Rollie pollie when I was little and I still feel terrible about it."
- DoomSayerNih
Fair Enough
"Opening this thread and reading is officially at the top."
- Special_Lemon1487
Most of these entries were absolutely mortifying, and they remind us to be careful about what we're getting ourselves into, even if we're curious.
Otherwise, it can lead to terrible injuries if not terrible memories, which might even be worse, because they're so impossible to forget.
When the cat's away, the mice will play.
That scenario could apply to many situations, but it generally refers to an individual enjoying temporary freedom to do as they please in the absence of a foe or constant companion.
In romantic couplings, this may involve a spouse or significant other finally engaging in private activity that could be frowned upon in the presence of the other person.
Curious to hear examples, Redditor shaka_sulu asked:
"Married folks, what's a non-sexual thing you look forward doing at home only when your spouse is away?"
Some people are happy to take up extra space.
Spacious Parking
"Parking my car in the middle of the garage."
– starkpaella
"Genius answer. It always brings joy."
– Heynicejobtoday
Hush
"The quiet. My husband constantly has the TV on, even if he’s not watching, and I enjoy silence."
– 2workigo
"This. My wife lived alone for many years and always has the TV on, even uses the one in the bedroom as noise to fall asleep to. The first thing I do when she’s gone is make sure all the noisemakers are shut off around the house. Well, except the cats. They don’t have off buttons."
– jaybeeg
Bed Positions
"Sleeping on the diagonal."
– snogweasel
"When you're there, I sleep lengthwise And when you're gone I sleep diagonal in my bed."
– downvotingprofile
Quiet Viewing
"I had a day off work today. Husband was at work, kids at school, so after I did the school run I came home, wrapped myself in our softest heated blanket, lay on the sofa and watched 3 movies with no interruptions. It was bliss."
– PheonixKernow
These Redditors can finally revel in their respective indulgences when they finally have the place to themselves.
Taste In The Finer Things
"The wife is a picky eater. When she is away, I either make a meal that she doesn’t like or I go to a restaurant that she doesn’t care for."
"It’s the little things. 😂"
– aizzo4
All Mine
"I cook almost all the meals. Almost being that we occasionally get take out. When I have a day off and my husband is working and my kids are at school/daycare, I go get breakfast and Waffle House. By myself. I sit there and eat a waffle, two scrambled eggs and bacon and I DONT HAVE TO F'KING SHARE! My husband despises Waffle House, but f'k I love those waffles. My parents used to have a waffle iron that made the traditional style waffles with the tiny squares until the cord shorted out. I miss them."
– missag_2490
Cheers
"My wife is in recovery, six years sober, and I support her in every way possible including, obviously, no alcohol in the house. If she’s away for a few days, I’ll grill me some steak tacos and wash them down with a really good Cabernet."
– Tom__mm
"I’m a recovering addict and I think you’re a great husband."
– JLHuston
Screen Time
"Watching TV shows he'd never watch, on the big TV."
– sexrockandroll
"There isn't an ancient aliens, shows from the early 80s (chuck Norris and Jack klugman), or horror movies that he won't watch - pausing every 3 seconds in case I miss something - that WE have to watch. When he travels for work I relish the quiet. Even the weather channel is enjoyable."
"My love for my husband has no end but he has the stupidest taste in shows yet whines if I would rather deep clean the basement than deal with any of it."
"But I can only deep clean the basement so many times..."
– Big-Mine9790
To each his/her/their own.
The Organizer
"Deep cleaning and reorganizing. I know, I'm a real party."
– Dependent_Top_4425
"You are my people. The garage door is hardly down before I'm getting busy!"
"There is not one thing better in this whole world than having some alone time in my spotless house."
– Individual-Army811
Everything But The Kitchen Sink
"Hike all day, get the sh**ty chinese takeout that she hates and I love despite knowing full well it’s objectively not good, and drink some nice beer while watching movies all night."
– holographoc
Establishing Order
"Putting things down and having them still be there when I want them."
"Having a clean house that stays that way for more than 30 seconds. I love him, but he's just a whirlwind of plates and seltzer cans some days."
– Lyeta1_1
When my husband's away, I watch all the horror films that have been stacking up in the queues of my streaming platforms.
He has a weak stomach for gore and violence, so we often avoid home invasion movies or slasher flicks and instead stick to comedy, drama, or dramedies, and documentaries.
Which is all well and good.
But when I have the place all to myself, I bust out the wine and Doritos and watch the latest Halloween or Scream movies I've been missing out on.
We've all had a conversation with someone where they say something where they've said something incorrect or inaccurate.
Sometimes, our gut reaction is just to laugh, as it was an honest mistake, such as mixing up a pair of celebrities or misusing or mispronouncing a word.
Other times, we might feel the need to put them in their place and not only correct them but educate them.
Then there are the times when we have just heard something so shockingly inane that we are left completely and utterly speechless.
Redditor Moo1124 was eager to hear all the dumb things the Reddit community heard which left them dumbfounded, leading them to ask:
"What's the stupidest thing you've ever heard anyone say?"
Before You Denounce Something, Make Sure You Know What It Is
"'I don't believe in astronomy'."
"We asked her if she meant astrology, and she asked, 'which is the one where like, you can tell what stars are made of?''
"We confirmed that was astronomy'."
"'Yeah, I don't believe in that'."- octohog
That Explains All The Traffic Jams?
"That when you press on the horn of your car, it lowers the amount of air in your front right tire due to it helping make that horn sound."- Boomstick123456
Oh, Dear...
"I was walking around the ruins of the ancient cliff dwellings at Mesa Verde just outside of Mancos, Colorado, (where the Ancient Puebloans lived from approximately 550 A.D. to 1300 A.D.) when a visitor asked the tour guide:"
"'Why did they build their homes so far from the highway?'"- badwolf1013
driving los angeles GIF by HOLLYWOOD LOVE STORYGiphyRibbet...
“'I can shoot with my left hand, I can shoot with my right hand, I'm amphibious'."- Master_Grape5931
Racist No Matter What...
"Apparently when my daughter was first born she looked vaguely East Asian."
"Enough, at least, for the nurses to ask if I was sure it was my baby."
"Now that was an incredibly weird thing to say to a new dad meeting his daughter for the first time, but it wasn't the stupidest thing someone said about this situation."
"That happened when I was retelling the above story to a client in a meeting."
"He asked to see a photo of my kid as a newborn, remarked how she really did 'look Asian', and then proceeded to ask if I thought my child might end up having an Asian accent when she got older."- JoeyCalamaro
"Where are you from, China or Asia?"- SonaPen22
Cbs No GIF by HULUGiphyWhen Life Gives You Lemons
"Asked someone if they drove a stick."
"They responded, 'no, I drive a car'."
"Now I have a dad joke I’ll remember forever."- 99problemsbut
ID Please...
"I once found a big bulldog in my back yard."
"I don't own a bulldog."
"He was a big friendly, but slow witted guy."
"He look healthy and had a collar but no tags so I knew he was a local."
"I made sure he had water and went to the front yard to start knocking on doors."
"As soon as I stepped outside I saw the family three houses down all gathered in their front yard."
"So another case closed for our young detective."
"I walked over to them and said, 'You guys missing a bulldog?'"
"The mother looked at me and said, 'Is his name Tyson?'"
"The question took me aback."
"I mean, he didn't have tags."
"They knew he didn't have tags."
"So all I could think to say was, 'He didn't say'."
"'But I'm pretty sure he's yours'."
"To this day I wonder if that woman knew how dumb that question was."- Spodson
looks stupid english bulldog GIFGiphyUnder The Influence
"Stoned friend ."
"What year is February in?'"- IHave47Teeth
Woof Woof...
"My teacher told a class of 16-17 year olds about that super loyal dog in Japan who walked to the train station daily for nine years to wait for his owner, who died at work."
"After hearing that story, a girl raised her hand and asked 'Why didn't somebody just tell the dog?'"- Senator_Ruth_Martin
That's Why The FDA Warns Against It...
"When I was 12 years old a friend told me 'smoking is good for you because the smoke makes a shield around your heart when you breathe it in'."
"He argued that the smoke could prevent you from being stabbed or shot."
"Even at 12 I knew he was a moron."- ipondy
There's Denying Global Warming, And Then...
"Solar panels will cause a global ice age, because the law of thermodynamics states energy cannot be created or destroyed, so obviously they must be removing heat from the air."
"With no sense of irony of the scale nor efficiency (or lack thereof) of solar panels and their capacity to cool."- peptobiscuit
In Debt, Maybe...
"I knew a Finance major in college who thought he was worth $20k because he had two credit cards with $10k limit each."- alano134
No one loves a know-it-all.
Especially when they don't actually know anything at all...