People Reveal The Stupidest Thing They've Ever Heard Someone Say
Reddit user Moo1124 asked: 'What's the stupidest thing you've ever heard anyone say?'
We've all had a conversation with someone where they say something where they've said something incorrect or inaccurate.
Sometimes, our gut reaction is just to laugh, as it was an honest mistake, such as mixing up a pair of celebrities or misusing or mispronouncing a word.
Other times, we might feel the need to put them in their place and not only correct them but educate them.
Then there are the times when we have just heard something so shockingly inane that we are left completely and utterly speechless.
Redditor Moo1124 was eager to hear all the dumb things the Reddit community heard which left them dumbfounded, leading them to ask:
"What's the stupidest thing you've ever heard anyone say?"
Before You Denounce Something, Make Sure You Know What It Is
"'I don't believe in astronomy'."
"We asked her if she meant astrology, and she asked, 'which is the one where like, you can tell what stars are made of?''
"We confirmed that was astronomy'."
"'Yeah, I don't believe in that'."- octohog
That Explains All The Traffic Jams?
"That when you press on the horn of your car, it lowers the amount of air in your front right tire due to it helping make that horn sound."- Boomstick123456
Oh, Dear...
"I was walking around the ruins of the ancient cliff dwellings at Mesa Verde just outside of Mancos, Colorado, (where the Ancient Puebloans lived from approximately 550 A.D. to 1300 A.D.) when a visitor asked the tour guide:"
"'Why did they build their homes so far from the highway?'"- badwolf1013
driving los angeles GIF by HOLLYWOOD LOVE STORYGiphyRibbet...
“'I can shoot with my left hand, I can shoot with my right hand, I'm amphibious'."- Master_Grape5931
Racist No Matter What...
"Apparently when my daughter was first born she looked vaguely East Asian."
"Enough, at least, for the nurses to ask if I was sure it was my baby."
"Now that was an incredibly weird thing to say to a new dad meeting his daughter for the first time, but it wasn't the stupidest thing someone said about this situation."
"That happened when I was retelling the above story to a client in a meeting."
"He asked to see a photo of my kid as a newborn, remarked how she really did 'look Asian', and then proceeded to ask if I thought my child might end up having an Asian accent when she got older."- JoeyCalamaro
"Where are you from, China or Asia?"- SonaPen22
Cbs No GIF by HULUGiphyWhen Life Gives You Lemons
"Asked someone if they drove a stick."
"They responded, 'no, I drive a car'."
"Now I have a dad joke I’ll remember forever."- 99problemsbut
ID Please...
"I once found a big bulldog in my back yard."
"I don't own a bulldog."
"He was a big friendly, but slow witted guy."
"He look healthy and had a collar but no tags so I knew he was a local."
"I made sure he had water and went to the front yard to start knocking on doors."
"As soon as I stepped outside I saw the family three houses down all gathered in their front yard."
"So another case closed for our young detective."
"I walked over to them and said, 'You guys missing a bulldog?'"
"The mother looked at me and said, 'Is his name Tyson?'"
"The question took me aback."
"I mean, he didn't have tags."
"They knew he didn't have tags."
"So all I could think to say was, 'He didn't say'."
"'But I'm pretty sure he's yours'."
"To this day I wonder if that woman knew how dumb that question was."- Spodson
looks stupid english bulldog GIFGiphyUnder The Influence
"Stoned friend ."
"What year is February in?'"- IHave47Teeth
Woof Woof...
"My teacher told a class of 16-17 year olds about that super loyal dog in Japan who walked to the train station daily for nine years to wait for his owner, who died at work."
"After hearing that story, a girl raised her hand and asked 'Why didn't somebody just tell the dog?'"- Senator_Ruth_Martin
That's Why The FDA Warns Against It...
"When I was 12 years old a friend told me 'smoking is good for you because the smoke makes a shield around your heart when you breathe it in'."
"He argued that the smoke could prevent you from being stabbed or shot."
"Even at 12 I knew he was a moron."- ipondy
There's Denying Global Warming, And Then...
"Solar panels will cause a global ice age, because the law of thermodynamics states energy cannot be created or destroyed, so obviously they must be removing heat from the air."
"With no sense of irony of the scale nor efficiency (or lack thereof) of solar panels and their capacity to cool."- peptobiscuit
In Debt, Maybe...
"I knew a Finance major in college who thought he was worth $20k because he had two credit cards with $10k limit each."- alano134
No one loves a know-it-all.
Especially when they don't actually know anything at all...
People Divulge The Most Out Of Touch Things They've Heard Someone Say
"Reddit user nlwfty asked: 'What's the most out-of-touch thing you've heard someone say?'"
I have been left utterly bewildered by what some people believe is acceptable thought, conversation, and behavior.
Like... "Do YOU hear you?"
It shows when a person lacks life experience and/or brain cells.
Words expose everything.
And sometimes shock is all that is left to grapple with.
Redditor nlwfty wanted to hear about all the things people have overheard that left them utterly stunned, so they asked:
"What's the most out-of-touch thing you've heard someone say?"
I once a friend's friend moan about how she and her husband were nearly destitute.
Almost penniless.
All while she was straightening up the house for the new au pair they had just gotten from Columbia.
The Who?
Over It Maid GIFGiphy"My boss once told me to have 'the maid' drop my car at the shop. WTF!!"
amboomernotkaren
Be Happy
"'You won't be happier at work if we pay you more, but we need to figure out why workplace happiness is so low.' This coming from a guy that made 10x what I did and was born into old money."
Dirac_comb
"I had a job that was paying below market rates and 'expected' daily overtime (unpaid, natch) and was trying to figure out how to improve morale. They were considering bringing in consoles and having video game nights after work... as if we weren't stuck there too long already."
"I did have the fun of leaving, then being asked to come back as a contractor to help out, and taking advantage of being on a short-term contract and giving no f**ks to suggest that maybe they should consider at least TRACKING the overtime people were working, even if they weren't going to pay for it since there was probably a whole extra job's worth of hours in there and maybe hiring another person might improve morale and reduce the risk of the kind of errors tired people make."
"Didn't stay long as a temp. Apparently telling the truth and discussing facts with your co-workers isn't good for morale >_< They told everyone I was leaving because I got a better offer (!), but I told everyone exactly what was really happening when they asked XD."
princess_ferocious
It hasn't?
"My dad (who is now the Director of Accounting for the school district I teach for) was talking about how my starting pay was way more than his starting pay."
"I said, 'Well, yeah... The cost of living has increased a ton since then.' This motherf**ker straight up said, 'No it hasn't.'"
"He started working there in 1992. This conversation happened in like 2017 (about a year after I started working there). Again, he is the director of accounting."
pjsans
Move On
"'You seem sad.'"
"My mother to my sister, at her husband's funeral."
blarg-zilla
"My sister's son was murdered. Two weeks later my mom asked her if she was over it yet."
NeverCallMeFifi
"One of my sons was murdered 12 years ago. Many people started telling me that I needed to 'move on' after 4-6 weeks. My brother refuses to say my son's name, so I no longer speak to him. Sending my deepest condolences to your family from a mom who understands losing a child to homicide."
PDXer328
Good Idea!
New Girl Facepalm GIF by HULUGiphy“'I don’t know why people get big mortgages. Just save up for a few months and pay cash for a starter home!'"
Hopeful-Moose87
People with money always seem to have a plan, unless the plan is sharing.
FInd the Treasure
Dragons Den Television GIF by CBCGiphy"When people were complaining about not being able to afford housing/food/living in general, one of the Dutch ministers (I think he was a minister or at least the leader of a party) said something along the line of 'well, find a rich boyfriend then'. ah, yes, that will solve the crisis!"
pastelchannl
Dumbfounded
"I went to an Ivy League college with lots of children of extraordinarily wealthy families. When discussing inequality and its effects on housing, my professor briefly mentioned how mortgages are out of reach for a growing number of Americans. The girl next to me stopped the class, and with a confused face asked the professor why people don’t just buy their homes in cash outright because 'surely the interest means it will cost them more over time.' The professor was dumbfounded. I found out later that she is the heiress to a major luxury brand that you have all heard of."
wildblue2
The Increase
"My former landlord and his wife dropped by to tell me and my financially struggling 20-something roommates that they were raising the rent, by nearly 25%. They said, 'We noticed on Craigslist that neighbors had higher rent so we’re doing the same.' The wife then earnestly reminded us that we’ve been great tenants but maybe we just needed to find some higher-paying jobs. 🙃."
agingcatmom
Not Me
"I was waxing a woman’s eyebrows once and she was complaining that sometimes after she gets a massage the pillow leaves a circular indent on her face and she can’t go out to lunch after. She then asked me if that ever happened to me? I was like ma'am I wax people for eleven bucks an hour; I’m not going out to lunch lol, let alone getting massages."
lomi08
Investments
Money Invest GIF by ProBit GlobalGiphy"Something like: Give a rich person $500 and they will invest it into $1000. Give it to a poor person and they will spend it in a week."
"Yeah exactly give it to someone who’s needs are met and they can save… give it to someone who needs to eat/pay rent etc they will spend it to survive!"
ExaminationLucky6082
You need money to make money.
One of life's biggest lessons apparently.
So someone give me some money.
The Absolute Stupidest Things People Have Said With Complete Conviction
When giving a speech and making an argument, the most effective way to reach other people or get your point across is to speak with conviction.
However, speaking with conviction doesn't always mean people are speaking the truth... or even coherently.
Redditor MonkeyGentleman420 was curious to hear more stories of ludicrous things people said with unwavering conviction, leading them to ask:
"What is the stupidest thing someone has told you with complete conviction?"
We Know How Often Birds Check Clocks...
'That we set the clocks forwards and backwards so the birds don’t get confused with their migration patterns."- alliecita410
Speaking From Experience?
"'Two people can breathe underwater forever if they have a hose'."
"The first person breathes in while the second breathes out, then the first person breathes out and the second person breathes in etc'."- PahoojyMan
Dream On...
"She said:'
"'If you are dream about falling and you hit the ground in your sleep you'll actually die'."
"'It's been proven'."
"I said 'If you die in your sleep, how can anyone know what you were dreaming?'"
"Ruined a favorite story of hers."
"Sorry."- FrankieMint
falling GIFGiphyBecause ALL Cops Ask For Your SSN Before Cuffing You...
"From a coworker: 'If you don't have a social security number then the government can't do anything to you'."
"I asked if that meant, if I didn't have an SSN then I could just go kill someone on the street and the government couldn't arrest me."
"'Yep', he said, 'if you don't have an SSN then they can't enforce any laws on you'."- AllAboutThePotatoes
Keep Them Away From Needles...
"A former coworker insisted that the body believes the ears are injuries, and we are all constantly trying to heal our own ears closed."
"The only thing keeping them open, you ask?"
"Ear wax."
"We worked in healthcare."- Reflection_Secure
Credit To the Visual Effects Designer
"A girl I worked with was convinced that every single mythological creature was real."
"I’ll never forget one of her claims."
“Think about it, every movie you done seen all those creatures and aliens and sh*t, all that’s real."
"Someone has to have actually seen it to come up with that!”
"Apparently there’s no such thing as the human imagination to her."
"So yes, transformers are real, Godzilla is real, Independence Day is real."
"This was a 20-year-old that said all of this."- Dragonborn83196
Unicorn GIF by MOODMANGiphyIn Theory... Still Wrong!
"That the speed of light wasn’t like an actual number, it was just a figure of speech."- sunbearimon·
Check The Date...
"Sunburn is not caused by the sun, it is actually caused by sunblock."
"If you don't use sunblock then you will never be burned."
"Sunburn was created by the sun cream industry to sell their products."
"Seems easily testable, why not lie on the beach all day in one position with no sun block and see what happens?"
"Make sure you fall asleep for maximum effect."
"You go bright red and then blister to the point that you get taken to hospital for a combination of sunstroke and the beginning of shock then spend the rest of the holiday indoors face down with regular application of creams and replacement paraffin patches on the burns."
"It puts a bit of a dampener on your 2 week break."
"Sunburn is mentioned in Livy's history of the second Punic war and others over 2000 years ago which is solid proof that the 'Big Sunscreen' claim is ridiculous."
"However it would be hand-waved away by a True Believer of big Sunscreen."- Magnus_40
Sonne Sunburn GIF by Mitteldeutscher RundfunkGiphyIgnorance Is Not Always Bliss...
"A distant relative, recently retired, once told me that he was going to hire a gardener and a housekeeper because 'the government will give you a grant to pay for them now'."
"This was a few minutes after a lengthy rant about how the welfare state should be scrapped because only lazy people lose their jobs and need to claim benefits."
"The same relative, some years ago, also announced with absolute conviction that he was going to hire a neighbor as a cleaner because 'she won't have anything to do now her kids are grown up'."- Plantagenesta
The Price Of Never Looking Up!
"Pineapples aren't real."
"They're entirely manmade and do not exist in nature."- tricksterloki
ALWAYS CONSULT YOUR DOCTOR!!!
"My dad was experiencing end stage renal failure (was on dialysis at the time and has since had a transplant)."
"My best friend's boyfriend at the time looked at me dead in the eye and said he could reverse his condition with a vegan diet and that the only important organ in the body was the skin, so as long as you take good care of your skin, your other organs will function properly."
"Mind you, by the time my dad got on dialysis his kidneys were functioning at 11% and his SKIN WAS JUST FINE."- lyingintheleaves
But What Causes Cavities?
"I'm a dental hygienist."
"We had a patient come in with terrible teeth."
"They thought toothpaste caused cancer."- dilapidatedfungus
If Only...
"That women don't burp or fart, because only men have (the ability to pass) gas."
"Spoiler alert: he was horrified when I burped in front of him."- sequoia_summers
Guilt Is Easier When You Know It's Coming.
"First girlfriend was religious, and apparently it was okay that we had sex 'as long as she feels bad about it after'."
"Pre-planning regret was her loophole to do what she wanted."- Lone_Buck
season 2 famalam GIF by BBC ThreeGiphyWhen people do speak with conviction, more often than not they firmly believed what they say.
So much so, that they have trouble believing the person brave enough to correct them.
In spite of the concrete evidence thrown in front of them...
Love doesn't always mean forever.
That is the more concerning part about chasing the dream. It comes with no guarantees.
Anything and everything can change in an instant.
That person you look at so lovingly for hours on end can one day turn into a troll in your eyes.
They might stand in front of the fridge, wasting cool air while trying to figure out a snack.
(Like, how hard is that to decide?)
They may leave the toilet seat up or wet, or both.
They could have night terrors that shake the walls.
All grounds for dismissal for some folks.
You never know someone until you know.
Redditor xxarisx wanted to hear about the "silly" reasons people have dumped another person, so they asked:
"What’s the pettiest reason to break up with someone?"
I have to admit, I can be petty.
Anything can turn me off.
I can't even explain why.
Wake Up!
Tired Wake Up GIF by Veep HBOGiphy"Your significant other had a nightmare you cheated on them and because of the dream they break up with you."
Cheeky_Guy
How Messy!
"Sports rivalries. That's definitely happened, which is hilarious."
LongBongJohnSilver
"My date and I (not yet in a relationship but very close) stopped seeing each other because of our sports rivalries. She is a huge Messi fan and I am a Ronaldo fan. But the thing is, I don't hate Messi and she really hates Ronaldo. So during one of our dates, we got into a debate about Ronaldo's bad personality (most of our dates somehow will have football conversations, and most of our football conversations are about Ronaldo because she keeps bringing him up; I never say anything about Messi)."
"I was so tired of listening to her talk badly about my idol, so I said: 'No matter how bad you think Ronaldo is, I will always admire him because he is a person who never gives up, even after being defeated many times. Unlike your idol Messi, who failed once and decided to quit the national team. The Argentina president even had to apologize to him to get him to come back, even though he was the one who missed the important penalty.' She stood up and left, and I haven't texted her since then."
hoainamduong
'Can we have one of each please?'
"She said she didn’t want dessert but then ate half my slice of pie."
RealBowsHaveRecurves
"When my now-wife and I were on our second date, the restaurant didn’t have a printed dessert menu, so the server was telling us the options. I completely zoned out because I was so nervous and also I kinda needed to pee but there hadn’t been a reasonable break in the conversation so I just smiled, and nodded, then when everyone looked at me expectantly, I just said 'Can we have one of each please?' Turns out there had been only two options (a crème brûlée and a chocolate pie situation)."
savingewoks
Smothering Me
"Not replying to a text message quickly enough."
nordictouch
"I was in a brief relationship recently with a guy who insisted I turn read receipts on even though I never do for anyone. I told him I felt a little weird about doing it but did it anyway."
"A few weeks later I read one of his texts and didn’t respond for an hour because I was working. After not hearing from me immediately, he texted, 'There’s something very untrustworthy about you' and then told me he needed space. He ghosted me for a week and then dumped me."
wilderthurgro
Natural Gases
"The other person farts in their sleep."
"Everyone farts in their sleep."
It_Wasnt_Me79
Blatant. Serial Killer. Behavior.
"She eats her peas one at a time."
henfeathers
"I had a friend who took hours to eat just about anything. A Snickers bar would take about an hour. She'd eat all the chocolate off first, in little pieces, and then each layer. Spaghetti. One noodle at a time. Drove all her boyfriend's nuts."
Azuredreams25
Sorry Justin
"In fourth grade, my bf Justin was demanding I share my cheese puffs. I jokingly said no. He got serious and said do it or I’ll break up with you. I made sure I only ate half and threw the other half away out of pure spite."
Elesmira
"Not your cheesy poofs!????"
RambleOnRose42
"And THAT is how you stave off people who want to get you into an abusive relationship. I'll remember that one. Damn, I love cheese puffs."
ElementalWorkshopII
Seeing Stars
"One time I broke up with someone because they were obsessed with Julia Roberts and I just thought she was meh, every time we hung out it was Julia Roberts this, Julia Roberts that. Sheeeeeeeesh."
TheRealOcsiban
"Same with my ex but with Pamela Anderson. And he says that he’s a big Pamela Anderson fan but he couldn’t name another movie she was in besides Baywatch which makes me wonder if he’s only into her because of her big jiggly boobs."
Dapper-Captain5261
Off Course
"I seriously considered calling off my wedding because he took the wrong exit off the highway. When I got irritated and pointed it out (we were in a rush), he got angry with me and claimed that a city street with stop signs every block was faster than the literal f**king highway going the same route."
"But it was just a symptom of the greater problem - he absolutely had to be the smartest person in the room, even if he had to lie or gaslight in order to make it happen."
"So yes, even though it would be ridiculous to call off a wedding the day before over a navigation mishap, I would have been better off (ignoring my gut cost me thousands in divorce fees, stolen cash, and therapy bills)."
SpookyBlackCat
Ok, Bye...
Bye Bye Goodbye GIF by Mickey MouseGiphy"I had a girl leave me after a week because her ex-boyfriend didn't like me. I gladly went home after hearing that."
Roostersnuggets
Wow. Some people really need to seek therapy before they start trying to date.
There is a lot to of mess to sift through in these brains.
It's never attractive to gloat.
Even if someone is incredibly skilled at something, or accomplished something incredibly impressive, it's better for others to commend their accomplishment, rather than doing so themselves.
The only thing that can make gloating and arrogance even less attractive is if they're bragging about something that isn't even that impressive to begin with.
Even so, some people simply can't help but boast and congratulate themselves, even whether or not the thing that is making their head grow with impressive speed isn't remotely worth congratulating.
"What is the stupidest thing people brag about?"
Literally Wrong On So Many Levels...
"Kid in my class bragged about how he stole an air freshener from the school bathroom."
"He was holding an unwrapped, wet urinal cake in his hand." -Tardigrade90
There Is Such A Thing As Work/Life Balance
"Anything to do with hustle culture."
"Wow, you got sh*tty sleep under your desk??"
"I was comfortable in my bed, haha, a strange flex." - joshharvey02
"Hours of work."
"We shouldn't be glorifying getting overworked." -Reddit
Working Good Morning GIF by Jimmy ArcaGiphyWhat The Actual...
"My neighbor was bragging about how long her three-year-old son’s penis was."
"She told my wife and I, 'Everyone always says, omg his penis is so long!'"
"I’m just like, why the f*ck have so many people seen it?"- NaiveMelany
A Truly Smart Person Knows Not To Brag...
"Intelligence."
"The dumber they are, the more they brag."- EdgyLearner138
"Money Money Money, Must Be Funny..."
"Money."
"From what I've read, family gets greedy and entitled."
"It's best to keep your mouth shut about money to every family member."- Vegetable-Fix-4702
"Dad's money."- BabuBhaiyaForever
Money Chicken GIF by happydogGiphyThe Less Said, The Better
"How little sleep they got."
"How late they stayed at work."
"How much they drank." - eviehalboro
Going Viral Isn't Always A Good Thing...
"Internet fame." - SwaggerEilte
Monogamy Is Nothing To Be Ashamed Of
"Sometime over the last decade or so, people started using the term "body count" for their cumulative number of lifetime sex partners."
"Unless you're doing it with all of them concurrently, I am not impressed." -Reddit
A Well Rested Soul Is A Happy One...
"The only time I care if you lack sleep is if you’re heading to Brooklyn." - _Goose_
Be Proud Of Who You Are, But...
"Guys who brag about being 'built different'."
"Sure dude."
"You have a beard, a 'full sleeve' tattoo, and a pickup truck."
"You’re so different." - someguy192838
A "Real Man" Never Needs To Prove Himself...
"Being an 'alpha'."
"Sorry homeboys, if you feel the need to announce it, you ain't it... and you know that." - Prudii_Skirata
Some people simply need to be the center of attention.
Even if the attention gained isn't exactly wanted.
As proud as one might be of their accomplishments though, it's always a good idea to wait for others to congratulate you, before congratulating yourself.