Sex isn't everything.
But it can be something many of us take for granted.
But when it's gone... you notice.
Some move on, and some grieve.
And for many Redditors, this situation wasn't a hypotherical.
Redditor JeffLaRue wanted to hear how people would react without the possibility of sex, so they asked:
"What would you do if you couldn't have sex anymore due to a physical or mental issue?"
I personally wouldn't be thrilled.
But I'd find a way.
The New Me
Sad Sponge Bob GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy"I do actually (endometriosis). It's sometimes really sad, but you do other things with your partner, and try again to see if there's any improvement."
"I used to have a high sex drive, but due to the pain not anymore. My partner understands that and his one preoccupation is my health."
Nansya
Likely be ok?
"My husband has stage 4 metastatic melanoma. He’s ok and will likely be ok but chemo/immunotherapy f**ked with his mojo. I’m good. We’ve found our intimacy in other ways like coffee together and just laughing in our car, our tv shows, etc.. I’d much rather have him with me than sex."
Dawnydiesel
"Let's take a moment to appreciate that 'likely be ok' and 'stage 4 metastatic melanoma' can coexist in one sentence. Science, man."
Sixmonths_Newaccount
Sucks, really...
"I was hit by a car and paralyzed from the chest down. I no longer have any sensation down there. Sucks, really. In some ways I think it is easier to get over not being able to walk, than losing sexual function. Unfortunately there isn't anything to do about it."
krunchytacos
"I’m glad you’ve made it this far. I agree with you. My vehicle was rear-ended at a red light. I learned to walk again (so I’m doing amazing really!) but I can’t feel most of my bits, peeing is weird or doesn’t work, same with poo, one foot is constantly weakening, numbness, pins and needles, bolts of pain, constant throbbing, changes with the weather and activities, and really just keeps getting worse. Can’t work a full time job anymore. But the thing that’s the hardest to deal with is the neurogenic sexual dysfunction. It’s difficult as hell."
jessibrarian
All Gone
"The real question is, what would your SO do? We have been in this exact predicament for over 3 years now... It's like living with your best friend but every single day you watch a piece of your relationship die."
"Sorry for the over sharing. This one hits hard. Prostate cancer under 50 is considered rare."
"Although if caught early its very treatable. What they don't tell you is the cancer is transplanted into your relationship. For over 30yrs we had an amazing intimate sexual chemistry that was built around if one of us isn't into it then we won't do it. No fake orgasms, no birthday sex, no wearing each other down or giving in... just raw vulnerability and trust. All gone!"
New_Shoes_999
Meh
Awkward John Krasinski GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy"I would definitely miss it, but I'd manage."
SexyChronicPain
Some people really don't care but did address the lack of intimacy.
A Mental No
No No No GIFGiphy"Honestly I’d be devastated. Not being able to connect in that intimate way with my partner would leave a huge gap in my mental well being. I know it’s not technically essential but it’s a massive part of a relationship and without that I would feel incompetent as a partner."
whiskerbiscuit2
Quality Time
"I'd try other things to feel intimate with my partner. Like naked, but not sexual, snuggling. Or start up a hobby night where we spend quality time together. Maybe buy them a quality toy so they don't feel like they're missing out because of me 🤷♀️ But other than that? I'd just continue getting on with life!"
BinkiesForLife_05
The Struggle
"Been dealing with an inflammatory skin issue that has prevented me from having sex with my partner for the last two months. It’s been a struggle, feels like my sex life is in shambles, and it’s driven me back into depression."
"Luckily my partner is incredibly understanding, but it has put a huge strain on the relationship. Trying to explore other forms of intimacy but she has a hard time receiving touch without it being a mutual experience.
"If this becomes a long term problem I don’t know how I’ll cope."
Merp_the_People
Downgrade
"I'm going to buck the trend and say that my life would be significantly degraded. I had a fairly low sex drive through periods of my life due to mental illness. Now, I am at my sexual peak and it's as if I'm seeing in color for the first time: I know how my body works, and what it likes, and I feel powerful and sexy."
"At this point, my sense of self and identity are linked to my ability to have sex. I felt very ugly and like I was only a mother for a while, and I feel much more like a woman and a normal person now. I could live without sex... but it would take me building myself up all over again and accepting who I am without that."
PralineOwl
Inadequacy...
"It would probably devastate me, honestly. I was super overweight had very poor luck with women in my teens and twenties. I took control of my life, lost over 100 pounds and met my wife at 28. 8 years later we still have a very healthy sex life. She would understand but I feel as though it would bring up the feeling of inadequacy again."
Kingjerm731
Sex isn't everything, but it's important to many.
Hopefully everyone finds peace if this is a life issue being faced.
Curious to hear examples from those who've witnessed extremely unusual behavior at these facilities had plenty to share when Redditor N3SSDOGGDOGG asked:
"People who have spent time in a Psych Ward what is the craziest thing you’ve witnessed?"
One thing is certain. There is never a dull moment.
Consequences Of Enabling Drug Addiction
"In our tiny community some kids are smelly because typically the parents are addicts who either didn't pay their water bill, don't own a washer/dryer or are too brain dead to care. The nearest laundromat is now 30 miles away because the local one got broken into and robbed too many times by. Our school is awesome, there are staff members who do laundry for these kids and make sure they get showers. It's discreet so they're not ridiculed. I hate how our society enables addiction and even celebrates drug use, but I don't know how we can fix it at this point. It's gotten completely out of hand."
– Marisleysis33
Taking You To A Live Commercial
"My brother-in-law had a stint in a psych ward a little over a year ago, and on a particularly manic day they were in the middle of the community room and started singing."
“I have a structured settlement and I need cash now”
"This was then met by about 40-50 psych patients shouting back."
“CALL J.G. WENTWORTH!!! 877-CASH-NOW!!!”
"After getting a few verses in the orderlies stepped in and kindly requested they stop, which was kinda a shame since it sounded like they were all having a good time."
– MikeMars1225
Select Highlights
"I've worked in one for about 2 years now. The staff are just as crazy."
"Here's some highlights"
"Patient got into the ceiling, couldn't get them down for a while."
"Patient milked themself into their coffee. Did you know some anti-psychotics make you lactate?"
"The entire adolescent unit escaping because maintenence forgot to lock the gate. Don't worry. They all came back eventually."
"And myself getting a concussion from a patient trying to escape, they weren't successful, but at least I didn't work for 6 weeks."
– NeverlandEnding
Character Performance
"The funniest thing I ever saw (spent total of about three years in in my teens and early 20's): a kid in seclusion who was having a genuinely good time making staff's life a living nightmare while he was in there, took apart the plastic mattress, tore the foam inside into small pieces, donned the empty mattress and started yelling 'I'M GUMBY, DAMMIT!' while tossing the pieces of foam around like confetti. Even most of the staff were laughing about it."
– t_portch
Physical violence seemed to be a common occurrence.
He Had A Violent Streak
"Not a patient but an employee. Had a 16 year old kid come in who was about 6'2 220 pounds. Built like a linebacker. I found out since he was technically a child he somehow ended up at an autism school for children with very little security. He ended up inflicting a TBI on one of the teachers and got sent to us. The kid had a violent streak the likes I hadn't seen before, he knew he was stronger than most and liked to fight unprovoked and it always took 4 to 6 people to restrain him. I never seen a patient spend more time than him in the 'safety room' an incredibly small padded room with nothing in it. His parents wouldnt authorize his move somewhere else and they wouldn't take him home either. We were not equipt for someone with his level of violence. So there he sat... For one and a half years..."
"It wasn't like a single incident that was crazy, it was the entire situation."
– DisagreeableFool
David And Wendy
"I was in an adolescent inpatient facility for 30 days. One kid named David who was very tall for his age, I think he was only 13. He insisted on watching Friday the 13th movies on movie nights and everyone was afraid to disagree with him because of his violent nature and frequent homicidal fantasies. He hated taking his meds, and probably 2 or 3 times a week he'd brawl with the psych nurses over it. No joke, it took 5 to 6 large grown men to overcome this kid. He was scary."
– better-off-ted
A Mother's Experience
"My mother worked in an asylum in Ireland when she was about 15. This was in the early 60s. She loved working there, despite the fact that some of the patients would physically try and kill her. One patient always stuck out to her, every day he would tell my mum he was going to kill her when she finished work. She knew he loved music, so would tell him she was out dancing that night, and could he wait until the next day, which he agreed to. The next day he would forget what he had said, and would threaten her again, and she'd say the say thing again. This went on for a couple of years that she worked there."
– tiredandstupid82
Turns out some patients weren't seeing a change of scenery any time soon.
Fighting To Stay
"I work inpatient and we had someone who was in for 2 1/2 years. They would try to take him out but he would start fighting immediately and eventually said he preferred it."
– Deathdad
Simon
I was a social worker at an institution that had a hall for what we called 'lifers,' it was essentially for people who had no hopes of ever being released due to their conditions. Anyway, my hall had 14 beds and it was full. There was this one guy who was huge. He was 6’7 and about 350. His name was Simon. He suffered from drug-induced schizophrenia and had bipolar disorder. He talked to himself all day, but never talked to others. All the other men in the ward were scared of him."
"It was my day to do first shift. I got there early to start on some paperwork I needed to finish. When I got my keys in the door, I heard Simon hit the door with his fists. I looked through the tiny window on the door and he and the hall was covered in blood. I panicked and called security for backup because I thought he had killed somebody."
"Turns out, Simon was in the throes of an extreme manic episode and had managed to walk the literal soles of his feet off. Other medication he was on thinned his blood and led to him bleeding all over the place."
"We checked the camera footage and he had walked and talked all night. The orderly (who was fired that day) had slept through his whole shift and never heard Simon walking back and forth."
– CamillaCream02
Some of these examples sound like they could patients in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, without Nurse Ratched tormenting them.
But props to the real humans who are compassionate and look after those who can't function alone in society.
