The corporate world is a beastly institution, swallowing up millions and subjecting everybody to its own absurd logic.
It rewards and punishes about as predictably as a housefly chooses which counter to land on.
Unfortunately for people in that world, it's existentially just as infuriating as a housefly. Except its a housefly that controls your ability to pay rent and provide healthcare for your family.
It's no surprise that people have *colorful* things to say about the corporate world.
The common theme here? Good, focused, hard work is the last thing that matters.
You'll Want to Steer Clear of Blatant Violence
How to scream silently and not throw my boss through a window.Giphy
If it's not documented, it doesn't exist and/or never happened.
Keep On Keepin' On
You can carve out a pretty long career by being just mediocre enough at your job to essentially be ignored.Giphy
Fake It Til You Make It
Hard work does not pay off. Fitting in does.
Eyes on the Prize
Whenever someone you work with leaves for another company, be friendly with them in their last weeks and stay in touch.
Your network is how you get new jobs, and new jobs are how you get promotions and raises.
Trust the Paradox
Train your replacement. You won't be able to get a promotion if there's no one else to take your job.
It's All About Laying Low
Nobody will tell you the best trick of sales is knowing when you're not needed.Giphy
Idiots. Idiots Everywhere.
A very significant number of people are absolutely winging it and have no idea what they're doing.
The corporate world is not a meritocracy – you will encounter incompetent people at every level of hierarchy.
High School Never Ends
There's no avoiding office politics. Either you'll get pulled into it directly, or your mentors or friends will be/get embroiled in them and expect you to support them.Giphy
If you want something then ask for it. Do you wanna sit in on discussions about things that are relevant to your job? Ask. Do you wanna build experience in a certain technology that's not directly related to your job? Ask for it.
If you have a good manager that cares about improving people's careers, they will more than likely accommodate you.