People Share Their 'If I'm Going Down, I'm Taking You With Me' Stories
We're in this together, no matter what!
Nobody walks out of life unscathed. That fact is just a given. Now whether we're tarnished by our own hand or another is a different story. We all get ourselves into situations where we realize... "uh-oh, I'm screwed!" But then how many of us decide that going down alone is not an option. Often we tend to burn the building and it's inhabitants with us.
Redditor q6u8g2 wanted everyone to share shoot a warning to others in a 'just in case' scenario by asking...
People of Reddit what's your "If I'm going down I'm taking you with me." Story?
Into the Lake....
"Super simple, but I am notorious in my friend group of having a fear of water. I'm okay in pools since you can (hopefully) see the bottom but even shallow lakes rivers and oceans are a no go for me. Some friends ended up renting a boat and wanted to take it out on the lake and beeeeegged me to come out. I kept telling them no way in heck would I ever willingly go out and sit in the middle of a lake."
"Finally I caved because I dunno. They were friends and really wanted me to go. Someone said it could really help me face my fears. Even though I didn't plan on getting in the water, I'm not going to wear jeans to the sunny "beach" so I left my wallet, keys, and phone in the car. Within 10 minutes of getting to the middle of the lake, buddy who suggested I "face my fears" and I think his brother ask me if I got the time. I shrug and tell them I left my phone back in my car."
"They both lunge at me and start throwing me overboard. I latch on for dear life and fight as if the river is lava because to me it essentially is. I eventually realize I'm 100% going over and there is nothing I can do. Except let go of the railing I was gripping onto and instead grab them both as I pulled back and forced all three of us into the water."
"Getting back on the boat was easy, it had a little ramp and ladder for climbing in/out and you can bet your butt I was the first climbing back up. The brothers got mad at me because they had their phones in their pockets and I ruined them. But everyone quickly pointed out that they pushed me in the water knowing I hated it and that they deserved it. They argued that they intentionally tried to make sure I didn't have anything electronic on me but everyone shut them down."
"They were allowed back on the boat when they apologized. My friend apologized and I actually did chip in to help him get a new phone later, but his brother swam back to shore and got even more upset and demanded I help him with his new phone since I helped his brother. But he didn't feel bad or think he did anything wrong so forget that guy." RedditWhileWorking23
"My next door neighbor kept picking my plum tree dry when I would go out of town so I cut it down out of frustration. No plum jelly for anyone." foxglovingly
"I had a group project I had to do with 4 other people. 3 out of the 4 were great, but there were roles each of us had to fill in the group for the project to work right. The final girl never once participated in the project, so her role was completely empty and it was dragging the rest of us down."
"(We couldn't just fill in for her either because she kept her specific instructions to herself)"
"The other 3 and I did the best we could, but our instructor didn't seem impressed. He had a few questions about how we came to our conclusion and who did what in the group."
"The other 3 were trying to keep focus on the roles they filled but the instructor was asking about the role that the one girl skipped out on."
"I answered that we didn't have anything from that role because what's her butt didn't come to any of the project sessions. We just did what we could without her."
"Until that point, the girl that didn't do shit was standing there acting like she deserved any of the grade we all got."
"Once I said something, the other 3 girls confirmed that yes, Becky's butt did 0% of the work. She tried to say she was just really busy but another girl shut her down by saying she saw her at several parties the past couple weeks."
"That girl got a 0 and the rest of us got like an 85 or around that number. I felt like a snitch, but forget that girl." Careless_Hellscape
"they need a better seat to view the board."
"When you are in trouble at school, it helps that you're related to someone who works for the school district."
"I had a math teacher my junior year of high school who was also the cheerleading coach and she worshipped every student who was an athlete. And she hated theatre kids. She would make theatre kids (or basically any non-athlete) trade seats with a student athlete because "they need a better seat to view the board." She basically told us that student athletes' education was more important than ours."
"One day, the drama club was planning a field trip the same day of a really big math test. My math teacher was already fully aware of the field trip and said that the theatre kids are allowed to take the test at another time."
"Well, the day of the field trip comes, and she pretends she is unaware of the field trip. She called up our drama teacher and threw a tantrum that the theatre kids were missing. We then got in trouble with the drama teacher, and we received a zero on the math test."
"I told my aunt (a math teacher, AND the head of the math department for the whole entire school district) about this, and she looked into it. Teacher didn't get fired, but got in trouble. Well, she found out that it was my aunt that reported her, and now she was purposely failing me. I actually had no trouble in math especially since my aunt was tutoring me, and I was doing well, so there was no reason why I was failing except for the fact that the teacher wanted revenge on me for getting her in trouble."
"So this time I tell my aunt, but in a different way. I say that my teacher's material is not making sense (which was actually true, she had no idea what she was doing) and my aunt called her up and asked her what she plans on teaching her students. My teacher was caught by surprise and didn't know how to exactly answer my aunt and kept giving bs answers. My aunt then looked into it some more, and confirmed that basically, the teacher had no idea what she was doing. And well, she got fired."
"I did have to take summer school since I still failed her class, but I basically ended her teaching career." kumquat_kutiekumquat_kutie
The Fourth Guy....Giphy
"In a tech writing class I took there was a group project that saw all students separated into groups of four."
"We figured out what sort of assignment we were doing and decided up responsibilities. It became obvious from day one that our forth team member had no interest in contributing and planned to just skate by on whatever grade we got."
"Rather than accept that I went straight to the professor, told her what I thought was going on and asked to either be reassigned or even allowed to do the project solo rather than settle for a lesser grade due to one crappy team mate."
"She offered a better deal for me to bring back to the two contributing team mates: we do a three man presentation and if our lame duck fourth doesn't have anything to contribute he would be graded singularly."
"I tried throughout the duration of the project to get him on board and involved but he blew off every opportunity to contribute."
"Presentation day came and the three of us who worked got top marks... then the Professor came up and called out our forth guy in front of the entire class."
"I told you all on day one I don't tolerate free-loaders in my class. <Fourth Guy> contributed nothing to his team's project so he will not receive his team's grade. Provide nothing, get nothing."
"He never showed up for another class, but he also never withdrew. The fool ended up with an F in the course. Couple other folks in the class knew him, I learned later that he did this for multiple classes that semester and ended up getting kicked out the next semester." The5Virtues
Parents Explain Which Things Surprised Them Most When Their Child Moved Out | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Being a Newbie....
"In one of my first jobs, a colleague who was threatened by me (the new worker, shy, inexperienced, learning little by little, just out of college), was slowly putting ideas in the head of my boss until I get fired."
"The day after I was fired there was a meeting with the boss and other important positions in which I had been working hard to make a good impression. I knew who would take all the credit, the lazy bastard who had stabbed me in the back."
"It turns out that one of the things that I knew how to do was synchronize the files on my personal computer to an internet cloud, in order to have my files available at home."
"I knew that my partner was too lazy and would not thoroughly review the documents, so from the comfort of my home I modified the presentation. Some information here and there, nothing excessive and like the icing on the cake a hidden message after a photograph on the last panel that would only be visible during the presentation:"
"Thank you for not paying attention to the erroneous data and not looking at the information that does not match in the least with what I exposed, I'm glad nobody will notice because they are not interested and will not ask any crap."
"I would like to have been there, but as far as I knew the whole floor hear the screams of my boss."
"I know, it wasn't very mature, but it was satisfying." CiusWarren
Out of Publix.
"When I was a little kid, my mom made me hold her hand to cross the street out of Publix (ya know, as parents do). She slipped on a wet spot on the street, screamed "sucker!", and yanked me down with her. Then she had some kind of misfired reflex, and slapped her hand over my face to try to cushion my fall (I guess?). At the time, I thought my mom was randomly trying to assault me or smth right in the damn parking lot." TheWholeOfHell
"Growing up my best friend and I got in trouble for cutting up brand new, expensive jeans to make shorts. Her mom was (rightfully) screaming at me, so I said, "what about [her daughter], she asked me to and handed me the scissors?" and got us both grounded so at least we could sit together in her room lol." Lockshala
"Had an absolutely terrible boss at a hospital. She had been there for almost 30 years and was almost omnipotent. She was an absolutely horrendous human being in every way shape and form. She liked to pick one person everyday at random that worked with her and pick on them until they cried. She would then fake false feelings about how sorry she was, that she didn't mean to do it, and so on. Our department ran the Toys for Tots drive at our hospital. She insisted that all toys were kept in her office."
"It didn't take me long to figure out she was stealing the toys. I took photographic evidence as well as writing down everything I could in the ensuing months about everything she was doing. I knew at this point she knew that I did not like her and that I had pretty much figured out what she was about so she turned her attention to me and made my life miserable. I finally did quit, however, I made it my mission to take her with me. Everyone in the hospital, including the CEO, we're somewhat afraid of her and we're just trying to get her to her 30 years so she could go out naturally."
"After I quit I sent photos and all of my written documentation to the CEO of the hospital who I had tried to talk about all of this stuff with before I left but could tell he was not listening. I then wrote if she was not dealt with I was going to notify the local news channels about what I knew was going on with her. Needless to say she was forced to retire immediately upon her 30th anniversary, which was a week away." Ande64
"I worked for a corrupt business owner for a business that had a reputation for being bad."
"Anyway, I had to work for him because I didn't have another job."
"After years of watching him rip off his clients, I finally caught him in the act."
"I quit. He threatened to sue me for breach of contract and stealing clients (I hadn't stolen anyone). He went so far as to have papers served on me and my new employer."
"I called his attorney and reminded him I knew what boss had done and would love to have the opportunity to ask him a few questions about his billing practices."
"Lawyer said he'd call back. Half an hour later, the lawyer told me it was over." SouthernBoundandDown
"When I was stationed in Korea my sergeant threatened to tell command I was drinking underage. Fortunately I had pictures of our squad drinking and he was present so I told I would show them to command if he told on me." Careaga57
Chewed Up/Spit Out!
"I was rock climbing and this guy who was my belayer for the day was kind of a fool. Well no surprise, this fool spends most of his time flirting with a cute girl who is friendly but seriously not into him. He gets chewed out by our lead for not paying attention, which means he continues to not pay attention as he is incapable of picking up cues. Well, there's me, twenty five feet or so off the ground with my rope slack and feeling my hands slipping because I'm just running out of steam."
"Now having told him three times to pick up the slack, I look down and see he's completely ignoring me to chat with this girl again. My mistake was looking down, as I reach to re-adjust my weakening hold and slip. The rope shoots out of his limp, sausage like fingers and I began to fall (I know a properly tied off rope shouldn't do that. I don't know how he f---ed that up too). My only thought is if I'm going to fall, I'll damn well land on him."
"Well I did. I landed straight on his cushy body. I was barely injured. He was taken to hospital after having 80 odd kilos land on him from two stories up. I never happened to see him at that rock climbing club again." BlazingBeagle
Labor & Industry....
"I once worked for a startup company, and they missed one of my paychecks. It wasn't a gigantic deal to me because they were a bit strapped for cash and we had a big release coming soon, and I was decently paid anyway, so I just said "forget it."
"They then fired me two days before release, making it sound like I had been inadequate despite zero indication from them that I was such before that day."
"So I made the proper legal arrangements to recoup my missing paycheck and told them I'd be going to Labor & Industry (I had already filed a complaint) because if they were going to fire me after I worked 70 hours a week for over a month to try and meet their deadline, out of nowhere, I sure as heck wasn't going to cut them the slack of an entire paycheck. I got my paycheck, they went out of business because they were corrupt and had been misusing investor funds for years before this unbeknownst to me, and I laughed my way to the bank." minigunman123
"When I was in University I did a six month exchange program in Spain. I took 4 classes while I was there and all had an equivalent credit at my university in Canada. I was getting As in all of my classes except one class where I was really struggling and getting a failing grade on an assignment in that class finally broke me. The prof for this class was the worst. It was an intermediate Spanish class and he was marking us like he thought we should all be writing Shakespeare. Not only that but how he told us to complete assignments vs how he marked them would be completely incongruent. He expected us to be doing things that he never taught us and he should not have been expecting in the first place from an intermediate Spanish class."
"I realized it wasn't just my problem when the girl from France, whose Spanish was far better than anyone else in the class, started crying one day after she got an assignment back and begging to understand why she was marked so poorly. He just pointed at her assignment like that was the only explanation required and then ignored her after that. There was no way to drop the class or switch into another because of the way it was built into the exchange program so I decided I would start emailing the teacher constantly after he gave us assignments, clarifying every little point, coming back with follow up questions to try and figure out what the heck it was he actually wanted from us, spending way more time on assignments than they deserved. That way if I failed I would have this record showing how hard I was working in the class to bring to administration if I needed to fight it and all the discrepancies between how he provided assignments vs how he marked them."
"A couple of days before the final exam teacher evaluation forms came around and I could tell by how long it took all of us to turn them in that I wasn't the only one in the class unloading on this guy. This was his first semester teaching at the university so if his teacher evaluations didn't go well he wouldn't be invited back. If I failed this class then at least that ahole wouldn't be doing this to someone else next semester."
"We get our final marks a week later and I've managed to pull a C- out of my butt. Great, just squeaked by. Then with final marks dispersed he's allowed to see his teacher evaluations. He sent an email to the entire class that night and lost his friggin' mind. We're talking sections with all caps, multiple exclamation marks, telling us how stupid we all are and how we don't know what we're talking about. He's the greatest teacher alive and we're all just bad students. Complete meltdown. The next morning I found another email, from the university this time, stating that professor fool is no longer with the university and will not be welcome back again followed by numerous apologies regarding his behavior. I inquired about our grades in light of what happened but I guess they weren't that apologetic because they refused to change them. Go figure." FantasmaEnLaMaquina
"Not a chance, she's royally screwed."Giphy
"Current job, previous manager. I was on a team of 2, and when the lady I worked alongside with quit, they decided not to replace her. I have a young child, who as children so often do, gets sick a lot. Being the only person on my team (and the most important role for our office to function since it is literally the first step in all our processes), I had a very hard time whenever I used my PTO with short notice. I had given my manager multiple ways to fix the issue, but she never would hear any of it."
"She also was in a remote office so she had 0 clue what I did with my day. She finally sent me a very angry email basically telling me I could not use my PTO for emergencies all the time when my son got sick. I wrote back a long, detailed list of every method I suggested to fix the issue, along with the fact that I was the only person in my position for months, and that our company policy states in bold letters that using PTO because you or your loved one is sick is not only acceptable, but encouraged. My manager responded to my email by stating she would forward my concerns to HR and that I should probably polish up my resume."
"But HR was in our office that day. For the first time in 6 months. Great coincidence, right? So I went in, asked if I could speak about an issue concerning my manager, and explained everything as it happened. The HR rep had this look on her face like she was going to murder someone. She asked me to forward the entire email chain to her, which I did. Then she called me back to talk to her. A few people I talked to were aware that the manager and I had issues, and the lead of every team in our office basically told the HR rep that the entire office can't function without me and that I've been doing the work of 3 people for 9 months."
"Later that day, my manager sent me a very angry message over email basically saying I was fired and that I was to pack my things immediately for failing to do my job and because I was causing a hostile work environment. I forwarded this to HR rep, and then walked to her office and asked if I should pack my stuff. She looked at me, and in a single, sweet sentence said "Not a chance, she's royally screwed." And that's basically how my manager went from making $80k a year to being fired on a Wednesday with no compensation, no benefits, and no way to collect unemployment. All around a productive day." tysquirt
Back in the 8th.....
"When I was in 8th grade, we had to create a presentation on a book we had just read, including a skit from one of the scenes. Here's the best part- we were forced to work in groups. Being an introvert, I hate group work. What I hate even more is when your group mates don't do their work. The day we were assigned the project, we decided to divvy up the slides equally. It was a Google Slides, so we could all contribute to the same document. The class ended, and I had already finished one of my slides. One boy only changed the color of the title, and the other two didn't do anything. Two days later, I had finished all of my slides. Nobody else had done anything. I offered to start the script for the skit since I had finished, and asked for the others to contribute. Nothing. A couple more days passed, I had finished the skit as well, and all of the other slides were still empty."
"Finally, the night before the assignment was due came. I had hoped that even a title had been added. The slides were still empty. I finally decided to just finish it myself. I was up until about midnight, and the slides were not the best quality. Finally, presentation day comes. Of course, my group mates felt absolutely no remorse for doing no work. It was our turn to present, and my group mates nominated me to present. I finally decided to show them the consequences of their actions. I told them that we were all to present the slides we were supposed to work on. They obviously didn't know what they were doing and were extremely unprepared. My grade went down, but theirs went down even more." bmay1310
"My Grandma lived on a main road in Miami, she had grapefruit tress in her yard that grew HUGE grapefruits. When I was little, my older brothers taught me to roll the grapefruits out into traffic and watch them splat as the cars drove by. They couldn't see where the fruits were coming from because we hid behind the bushes to launch them. It was kinda like reverse frogger; the goal was to get a good splat."
"When I was 15, grandma's health was declining, so my family stayed at her house for a couple days to get it cleaned out and ready to sell. I decided it would be fun to take my younger brothers out and show them grapefruit splat. After about 10 minutes of us hurling double digit grapefruits out into traffic, One of us rolled a big, fat grapefruit right in front of a cop car without paying attention. We all ran to the backyard, but when I looked out front, my youngest brother Barry was still out there. Apparently he froze up."
"I come walking up hurriedly to the police officers and tried to play it off... "what seems to be the problem, officer?" I asked. "Who are you and where are this boy's parents?" he asked. I replied "I'm his older brother. My parents are at the grocery store, so I'm babysitting until they get back." The cop was super chill and goes "OK, well, your brother was rolling grapefruits out into traffic, so we just stopped to explain to him why that's dangerous." I looked over to Barry and winked to let him know that we were about to be off the hook and I said to the cop "I'm so sorry, I'll make sure to have a talk with him and it won't happen again." Well, Barry misread my wink as a taunt, so he looks up at the cops and goes "HE'S the one who showed us how to do it! He ran away when you stopped. And my dad's not gone, he's inside!"
"The cop looks down at me with a huge grin and says "let's go see dad." I proceeded to get a huge butt-kicking for bringing my brothers into something dangerous, then grounded for lying to the cops." jerk-ohjerk-oh
"Wait! Yams is in the corner under the cart!"
"In 7th grade my teacher decided to use process drama to teach about the Holocaust. He told us we can hide anywhere in the building and if we successfully evade him looking for us, we will get a bunch of extra credit. Conversely, if we are caught, we will get 5 points for each other classmate we rat out. I hid successfully in the computer class under a spare tv cart that barely fit me."
"My soon-to-be-not-friend had chosen poorly in the same room and was easily found. Upon walking out I very clearly remember him yelling, "Wait! Yams is in the corner under the cart!" I can't remember being so mad at someone. Ratted out for a mere 5 points?! I yelled at him and def overreacted. The lesson being a process drama, that was kind of the point... To experience the fear and potential rage at your neighbors for ratting you out."
"(For those of you who don't know, this lesson style is to give the student first-hand emotional connection to whichever content you'd like to teach. It's incredibly effective)." Yams_Garnett
You're Not Gonna Do It!
"My uncle used to own a hardware store in our crappy little town. He wanted to put up a cover between two buildings that he owned but the town council wouldn't let him. They never gave any real reason like, "we need to leave the area uncovered because of XYZ building codes." They just went on a power trip and said, "you're not gonna do it!"
"Eventually due to some other power trips my uncle threatened to move his shop a few towns over. Town council went all, "you're not gonna do it!" in a "I dare you" way. So my uncle did just that."
"If I remember correctly he paid the most in taxes so all the money the town was getting from him disappeared. Most of his employees were in high school and couldn't drive. When he moved the kids went with him. Since the parents had to drive their kids to their job they decided they would also pick up groceries and other things they needed while they were in the new town. So the cloth shop and grocery store went out out business. Since no one could get what they needed in our small town just about everyone moved."
"Now the town is run down and there's barely anything here. My dad said it used to be a nice little town. Now hardly anyone lives here and everything is falling in. My uncle even warned the council, "if I leave I will take this town with me." But they didn't listen." iamliterallyinsane
"Dad pushed me into the pool but before I fell in I grabbed his arm. 😎" DreamGirl3
Well some of these certainly took a turn!
Do you have similar stories to share? Let us know in the comment section below.
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Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again.
Until we're in a situation, we'll never really know how we'll react.
I have been in this scenario, though.
Sex matters. And people rarely want to admit how much.
But sex isn't a lifetime guarantee.
It fades, as does love.
It's important to speak about it.
It can be a fixable situation.
A relationship without sex may not be the end of the world, but it's definitely a sign that something is off.
Redditor Deviant55 wanted to talk about physical intimacy in relationships, so they asked:
"How important is sex to you in a relationship? Could you be with someone you love even if sex was off the table indefinitely?"
I learned how much sex matters in my last relationship.
Once I wasn't interested, it kind of killed everything.
ForeverGIF by moodmanGiphy
"When my wife of 30+ years became too ill for sex to be even remotely interesting for her, I certainly did not end the relationship. I loved her and I took care of her until she died. No other course even occurred to me."
"When I met my wife we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. This lasted a few years. I was in my mid-twenties when we married. She developed a chronic medical issue. I’ve gone twenty years being sexually frustrated. There are stages and phases to this."
"What I came to realize is that I love my wife. Yes, sex is important in our relationship. But I would rather have her in my life with no sex than have sex without her."
"The thing is, I love her. She can’t help her situation. I can’t help it. One deals with it. Marriage is more than sex. It is building a life and memories, raising a family, and loving each other regardless of the challenges life throws our way. But sex is very important. It helps keep the closeness and the emotional bond. But it isn’t the only thing that does that."
I Love Her
"It is complicated. I am in a near-sexless marriage. The wife needs antidepressants to function. And it kills her libido. So usually it is four to six times a year. My libido rages. And yeah, it sucks. I dream of more sex."
"But I love the chick. She loves me to the moon and back. I’m not willing to sacrifice her love so I can try dating again. Divorce rates these days? And I found a woman who more than tolerates me, she loves me. I’ll stay. And not to be crude but yeah I masturbate. A lot. She doesn’t begrudge me that. Occasionally she even encourages it."
"She went off her meds for a while. And man did we do it. But she was a mess. I need her healthy more than I need a shag. We travel together. We enjoy each other’s company. We actually like each other. I could claim that it is hell, but I choose to see all of the good I am blessed with."
"Quite important. But I think it depends on where you are in the relationship. I've been married for 10 years. I have kids. If my wife suddenly couldn't have sex with me for some reason -- illness or injury or something -- I'm not divorcing her over it. That's heartless."
"Now, if she just decided we weren't ever having sex again because she didn't feel like it, that'd be different. Or if I was just starting to date someone and they told me they'd never have sex, I probably just wouldn't keep pursuing the relationship. Plenty of people out there who will."
"It depends on the circumstances. I LOVE doing it with my man but I love his heart and soul more. If we had to stop having sex for medical reasons or something I’d definitely stay with him and stay faithful. If I was single, I think it’s unlikely I’d start a new relationship knowing it would be sex free."
Heart and soul is just as necessary and hot and sweaty.
At least a lot of people recognize that.
"Sex life is 10% of a relationship when it’s good and 90% of a relationship when it’s bad."
"The other way I've heard it put is that sex is like the bathroom in your house. It's not the only reason you bought the house, but if it's not working it's a big problem."
"50-year-old here married for 27 years. It’s not important. It was important when we were younger but honestly, if sex wasn’t possible I would still love my wife and really nothing about our day would really change."
"I’ve been reading these comments and wishing that everyone’s age was flared on their post because I sense that there are a lot of under-60-year-olds. I am older than my wife but she is starting menopause and I can see the writing on the wall. Not super thrilled but I love her completely and understand. The real intimacy is in how we still (and will always) want to sleep touching each other and waking up next to each other."
"I honestly considered this before. I absolutely adored this guy. It was like a child relationship; we'd kiss and cuddle and hold hands and things, but he wouldn't have sex with me, nor would he commit properly. Any time we came close to sex, he'd go soft or back off."
"I couldn't understand it, wondered if I could keep doing that. My sex drive was wild. Why kiss and the rest but not sex?"
"Then one day he told me he was in love with me and asked me out properly. I said yes there and then, had a wonderful day with him, but when I went home, I was left questioning if I could possibly live without sex. I decided that yeah, I loved him but it would be tough."
"We had sex the next day. So yes, I think I probably could."
"It's very important. I'm a very affectionate and physical person and touch/caresses and anything physical is one of my love languages. I couldn't function with someone who is the opposite of me or who's uncomfortable with how I am. I already was in a relationship with someone who wasn't that touchy/affectionate and it created frustration for both of us."
Don't Look at Me
"I am in a sexless relationship. He has erectile dysfunction and I really don't like sex in general. I'm really uncomfortable naked or even vulnerable. I'm shy around him despite the relationship being 10 years nearly, I'm even shy around my family and friends. Everything about sex makes me feel so embarrassed, and I feel nothing but negative feelings when I used to be sexually active. Not through choice of partner, I just hate that sort of attention."
Definitive!Shake Handshake GIF by OriginalsGiphy
"10/10. Sexual incompatibility is a deal breaker!"
Sex is important but not everything.
Until it is everything if it becomes an issue.
Good luck couples. Open and honest communication is key.
People Share The Moment They Realized Their Friends Were Actually A-Holes
An important contributor to our overall health and happiness is the quality of our friendships.
We may not have a lot of friends, but the more important factor is the depth of those relationships.
But we've all had one of those friends who turned out not to be a very good friend at all.
Redditor Both-Support-7110 asked:
"When did you realize your 'friends' were just a**holes?"
Putting Them Down
"After I realized that other people don't s**t on each other on every possible occasion in their circle."
"And that it isn't right when a 'friend' uses every known insecurity as an argument against you when you do not behave the way he/she would want you to."
"I luckily made a couple of friends that would just be supportive about stuff. So I slowly started talking to them more than my older friends as I saw the disparity between their responses."
"One side purely would be purely judgmental and try and bring me down, and the other would just be excited for me or be there to listen or whatever. Who wants to talk to the former when you have the latter?"
Using Them as a Convenience
"They only bothered with me when it suited them. I'd rather have nobody than have to deal with that."
Trying to Keep Them Small
"When they were nice at first but then cut me out of conversations, telling me not to 'butt in.' A friend doesn't dictate when you're allowed to speak."
"Total a**hole move to have conversations in front of you only to tell you it doesn’t concern you and mean it. . . Like making plans and giving details about how someone like you could be included but specifically telling you not to invite yourself; making plans in front of someone and not inviting them is awful."
Using Them as Entertainment
"She got a boyfriend and would let him listen to our phone calls and not tell me, even if I was crying about personal stuff that I would only ever tell her."
"Then they both started lying to me about my crush liking me back, forcing both him and me into awkward positions (telling everyone we liked each other so they'd play along, swapping places constantly to make us sit next to each other, pressuring him into giving me a lap dance, making him kiss the prettiest girl in the room, etc), and encouraged me to shoot my shot more and more."
"All the while they knew he didn't like me, he had told them both directly. One night, I was crying on the phone because I was so confused why my advances weren't working, and they just kept explaining it away, blaming some other bulls**t reason and telling me to try again."
"The next day, they told me they were laughing throughout the whole call because I didn't get it and I was so upset. I should add I had no dating experience at all and nobody had ever liked me at this point."
Using Them to Feel Superior
"I didn't have many friends in grade school, but the times the kids actually gave me the time of day, it was to make me 'it' when we'd play tag. That's what I was there for. To continuously be 'it' so they could run away and feel superior. Because they knew I would agree to it no matter what."
Having Questionable Morals
"I had a friend that was a very promiscuous girl, I had no issue with that, until I found out she was using me and my innocent personality then, to distract her mom and make her think she was like me."
"Then she used my house as a literal hotel once, with my family here and everything... I knew that was it."
Making Fun of Them
"When I made new friends and realized that it's not normal for friends to constantly beat on me and make fun of me."
Prioritizing Money Over Them
"When they stopped being my friends after I went through a rough financial patch."
"I had a group that I was in from 2019-2021. They became a**holes over time, and it took me longer to see that. It was when I failed my psych 101 class (I'm not the best with online classes and tried the best I could) and when they heard about that, they laughed to my face, called me stupid and a failure."
"Early 2022, I met up with them again thinking it would just be a 'listen to this concert for someone we all know and go on our ways' thing."
"My one closer friend offered to drive me and I accepted, and then afterward she joined the group, made eye contact after the concert was done and said, 'bye,' and left with them to the doors. They doubled back and said, 'You can come with us to another town to a friend's place or I can get my mom to drive you home.'"
"I was so overwhelmed and embarrassed that I just went with them to the other town. I called my brother to come to pick me up after an hour, and when he was on his way out, everyone else left. Haven't been into contact with them again after that."
Disappearing When It Counts
"They pretty much abandoned me in a time of pretty intense need. It solidified my decision to leave the area and go do something worthwhile."
No Reciprocation Allowed
"When he does s**t to me and acts like it’s no big deal, but then I do the same back, and he gets offended."
Excluding Them From Plans
"I've got two examples here. One from childhood and one from adulthood. Pick your favorite."
"Childhood: Kid I knew when I was 8 or so. We used to hang out a lot of the time and often played together, doing the usual kid stuff. Then one day, he has to move away because of a change in his parent's financial situation and I was pretty bummed out about it."
"On the last day we were supposed to see each other, he hung out with someone else instead and when tried to join them, he physically shoved me away and told me I wasn't welcome. That one stung."
"Adulthood: When they keep telling me about plans they made and things they did together or wanted to do together, but never bother to invite or include me in any of it. There's one of them I get along with and he'll invite me to things as long as it's just with him, but when he's with the group, he excludes me."
"I remember one example in particular where they were discussing a new site to do some photography and they fell short a man. One of them looks at me like I'm the spare tire in his car and goes: 'I guess you can come with us this one time.', to which another replies: 'Nah, he doesn't want to go. He doesn't like photography.'"
"I told him I was perfectly capable of answering for myself and didn't need him to act as my answering machine, but it lost a lot of impact because he was right. I don't like photography and didn't want to go. I just didn't like being talked about that way."
"Good luck making that clear to them, though. All they heard was: 'If he was right anyway, then why are you b*tching about it?'"
"I no longer hang out with them. I eventually got sick of being treated like the spare guy they can use in case none of the 'main crew' was attending, so I dropped them."
"In 2006, my then-best friend wanted to go to a big German metal festival. I did not want to go because my Dad had end-stage cancer."
"Dad died on August 8th, a couple of days after my friend returned from the festival. I called him because I needed someone to talk to."
"He very bluntly stated that he had no interest in my Dad's passing but wanted to tell me how great the festival was."
"You can't imagine how disappointed I was. For years, I'd been there for him whenever he got dumped, and the one time I needed a friend, he wasn't there for me. I told him to shut my door from the outside and lose my number."
"I was 15, we were hanging out in the alleyway behind my friend’s house as we did almost every day after school."
"One girl was there from the year above us and they started prank calling the child protective services emergency line, pretending to be a child in distress, and they all laughed."
"After a few rounds of this, I felt queasy and left. Never hung out with them again. I still feel bad for not saying something or putting a stop to it, but the girl was older and 'cool.'"
Taking Advantage of Them
"I've been posting on him recently, he was my former neighbor and friend. We didn't immediately hit it off but after a while, we became good friends."
"I tried helping him out (he's an unemployed single dad of two special needs kids). He eventually saw my kindness as something to take advantage of, so late last fall, he either broke into my house (or enabled someone else to do it for him) and stole money from me."
"When I confronted him about this, he physically attacked me."
"I can't say it doesn't hurt."
Friendships are incredibly important, but we're unfortunately not meant to be friends with everyone. Some people simply do not turn out to be the friends we thought they were.
We may know that this happens, but that doesn't make it hurt any less.
No one wants to be alone.
But that doesn't mean we should settle when it comes to choosing a romantic partner.
When people rush into things without letting love flourish, it could lead to problems down the line that can inevitably lead to difficult breakups.
Those who've learned this the hard way shared their experiences with love when Redditorlastknownstar asked:
"What common mistakes do people make when choosing a life partner?"
Communication is key.
Discussing Life Issues
"Not discussing big life issues: your preference for having kids, parenting styles, deep religious beliefs, career aspirations, significant traumas…anything that may affect how you make decisions together later on."
"My parents were like this. Dad grew up in a standard midcentury 'men run the house, women stay in the kitchen' family, but Mom came from a long line of domineering southern matriarchs who had their husbands whipped. Dad was naturally a good cook and Mom hated cooking, but once they got married, Dad insisted she make all the food because that's what wives are supposed to do. No warning, total 180 on their relationship up to that point."
"He's learned his lesson and now happily cooks for my stepmom, but man... That's not something you can just spring on your new spouse overnight!"
What About Kids
"Having kids is a really big question that absolutely needs to be communicated. I've also heard that it's a topic that would make the man a big red flag if asked early into the 'relationship' as in first date and/or texts are off limits."
"Wouldnt it be a lot nicer to 'speed date' these big topics early on?"
These Redditors realized ignorance of financial responsibility in a relationship came at a cost.
"Finance is the number 1 leading cause of divorce."
"Edit: this popped up in my YouTube recommendation (Is your relationship struggling because of finance? - Dave Ramsey https://youtu.be/XuU7oabGqjk). Google is not monitoring us or anything"
"This is such a big issue in relationships. Knowing each other's spending habits is equally important. My ex would be extremely judgmental when it came to my 'fun money', but when he bought a new TV or a new gaming console, he was not to be questioned on it."
You can't change people.
Fixing Their Flaws
"Thinking, 'I know this person has flaws, but when we're married I can help fix them.'"
"Ok marriage isn’t working but if we have kids things will change because it will bring us closer."
"I personally had this issue dating someone who was as sweet as could be, but not the brightest bulb in the socket, and they relied on me for knowledge on everything from health to history to housework. All perfectly googleable or troubleshootable questions, but always defaulted to giving up and asking
mommy the girlfriend for help. Admittedly it was kind of an ego boost to have someone always telling me how smart I was and deferring to my judgement on everything, but that's not what a healthy romantic relationship should be like."
"I thought I could nudge them gently into being slightly more self sufficient, but it only got worse as they grew accustomed to relying on me for every little thing. And of course the flip side was I felt like I could never rely on them when I needed help... I knew I was SOL if I couldn't do everything myself, because I was dragging around a parasite instead of a partner."
"Next time I want to spend years working on a fixer-upper, I'm just going to buy a crumbling Victorian house. It'll cause me less stress in the long run."
Taking An Emotional Toll
"I was in a similar boat with an ex, wasn't so much her fault as she had a learning disability and epilepsy."
"Every other weekend we also looked after her kids from past relationships, one of which had autism, and due to my ex's condition she wasn't allowed to be on her own with the kids meaning I had to be there as the capable, responsible adult."
"We were together for just shy of 4 years."
"After she broke things off it took a good few months for me to get used to the fact that I could actually let my guard down, switch my brain off and relax. Without needing to constantly worry that someone would need my help or that I needed to ensure her safety."
"She didn't quite realise the toll it was having on me or the amount of responsibility was on my shoulders. She would constantly suggest things like holidays abroad with just us two and the kids, and all I could think was that it would be far from a relaxing holiday for me as I'd have her and two kids to look after and be responsible for the entire time."
Managing expectations is key.
"Choosing someone they think they should be with instead of someone they're actually compatible with."
"I feel a lot of people have a picture in their head of who they think they'll end up with and chase that ideal, instead of acknowledging their own personality and aiming for someone compatible with that. Easier said than done, but yeah."
– Viminia7 ·
Importance Of Value
"I talk with my partner about this all the time. We think its important to have shared values not shared interests."
"Yes it’s important to share things you both like to do, but just because your partner likes One Punch Man, like you do, doesn’t mean they are on the same page as you with resolving conflicts."
Elvis Presley reminded us that only fools rush in, despite his intense romantic feelings towards his object of affection.
But the wise men he was referring to were on to something.
It's best to ease into things and let love grow, and not force relationships without really getting to know the person with whom you plan to devote yourself to.
If it's meant to be, it'll be worth taking things slow by getting to know a prospective significant other's dreams, what makes them, and their values to see if there is enough chemistry to develop meaningful relationships.
Among the many reasons people watch, and rewatch, sitcoms is to imagine your life was more like the one you were watching.
Being able to afford a two-bedroom apartment in Greenwich Village on a line cook's salary, somehow always having the comfortable sofa available at your favorite coffee shop whenever you pop in, or having your best friends always available at your beck and call whenever you need them.
For the romantics, however, it's wishing you could have a romance like you've seen on television.
True not all sitcom romances are exactly the sort that makes you go all aflutter (Were Ross and Rachel actually on a break? And don't even get me started about Ted and Robin.)
Other sitcom couples are so captivating, though, that we would have given anything to be at their wedding... or at the very least go to their home for dinner every Friday.
And this includes plutonic couples, as there is nothing more heartwarming than a lasting friendship.
"What is the best couple in sitcom history?"
Creating An Even More Welcoming Community
"Troy and Abed. A couple of friends."- aghzombies
"They did grace the cover of Best Friends Weekly."- DwightsEgo
"Peralta and Doug Judy."- DavosLostFingers
"Reunited and it feels so good 🎶."- Ghostenx
"PSYCH"!... No, Seriously...
"Shawn Spencer and Burton Guster."- dazedcap
"'I'm Black, he's Tan'."- CrueGuyRobShawn Spencer What GIFGiphy
"The correct answer is Gomez and Morticia Addams."- Reddit
"They loved each other dearly. "
"They were completely enamored with each other, spent time with their kids, their family."
"Accepted everyone as they were."
"It wasn't til I was an adult That I realized married couples weren't meant to hate each other."
"My mother had many partners in my childhood, she's toxic and things were always chaotic."
"And watching 90s sitcoms, I thought married people were meant to hate each other, and I always wondered what the point was."- MissMurder8666
Overshadowed By Their Middle Child...
"Hal and Lois."- MrRocketman999
"As a husband, I don't think I can live up to Hal."
"He sort of sets a really high standard lol."
"He loves her like they are still in the honeymoon phase."
"So infatuated with her lol."- treathugger
A Better Couple? Many Would Say, "Knope"...
"Ben and Leslie."
"I' love you and I like you.'"
"Simple line, yet so powerful."- RadkeyooAmy Poehler Ben GIF by Parks and RecreationGiphy
"Gruesome", But Adorable
"Frank and Charlie from Always Sunny in Philadelphia."
"The gruesome twosome."- Herr_Poopypants
The Parents Everyone Wished Were Theirs...
"Bob and Linda from 'Bobs burgers'."- shashybaws
"All of the Belchers have such great relationships with each other. "
"They're wholly accepting and supportive (even if they disagree)."
"They really love each other, and it shows."- SummerOfMayhem
UK Version Only, Of Course...
"Moss and Roy (The IT Crowd)."- pentapotamia
"'I'm your wife, Roy!'"- Summerof5ft6andahalf
"'If anything, I’m the husband!'"- pentapotamiait crowd chris odowd GIFGiphy
Afterlife Be Damned... Or not, Actually...
"Eleanor and Chidi from 'The Good Place.'"
"How can you beat two deeply flawed people who together make each other better over and over again?"- hotbimess
Ruining All Food For Viewers, One Food Group At A Time...
"The only correct answer is - Scully and Hitchcock."- Prestigious-Net-2236
"Back off! It's our microwave! Ours! GRRRRRRR!"- Lvcivs2311
Nostalgic And Wonderful
"Kitty and Red from That 70s/90s Show."- saginator5000
"I like how Red on the surface seems like a mean parent who doesn’t let his kids have fun."
"But he’s watching out for his kids."
"And he’s a good man."
"He has a hard and stressful time supporting his family and he is grumpy sometimes but he would do anything for his family and he really loves them."
"What he does for Hyde is amazing."
"He just doesn’t put up with BS."- themanfromvulcanMothers Day Woman GIF by LaffGiphy
It Seems Everyone Is Better With Turk At Their Side
"Turk and Carla."
"Or Turk and JD. (Scrubs)."- JCBAwesomist
"Turk and JD all the way."- nunyabidnez76
Can't We Get Back What We Once Had?...
"Homer and Marge had a lot of beautiful moments back in the older seasons."
"Sadly, seasonal rot has ruined a lot of that."
"I miss a lot of how the characters used to be."
"Like, Homer was an oaf and a brute, but he loved his family immensely and deeply and would (and DID) do any and everything for them."
"He'd catch details like in that episode about the streetcar play that you wouldn't think he would."
"He gave up beer for a month for Marge and we got to see that, for him, it wasn't just a minor thing."
'Lisa might have been intelligent but she not only had ample 'dumb/shallow' moments, she also was very close to Bart and, likewise, Bart was close to her."
"He might struggle in school but he also showed he wasn't dumb either."- Snowtwohomer simpson love GIFGiphy
Be they married in the first episode or on and off again for an insufferable amount of time (looking at you, Jeanine and Gregory in Abbott Elementry!), sitcom couples give us people to root for and fill our own hearts with hope.
So much so that we don't mind following the arc of their love stories over and over again.
And yes, the episode where David meets Patrick's parents remains a tearjerker, no matter how many times you watch it.