Corporate buzzwords.
Most of us are familiar with them.
Phrases like "paradigm shift," "outside the box," "on brand" and "deep dive" rattle around offices.
Words like synergy, pivot, scalability and leverage get bandied about office emails.
And most of us hate them even as we use them.
Redditor Spec1alistInFailure asked:
"What corporate buzzwords/phrases make your skin crawl?"
the times
"In these unprecedented times...'."
- NFRNL13
"I want to go back to the precedented times."
- edlee98765
"It’s been 2 years."
"I think a precedent has been set."
- tom267
"In these now very well precedented times...'."
- Paddy_Tanninger
job (lack of) description
“We are looking for a dynamic and enthusiastic team player who is confident and adaptable."
"Responsibilities include supportingsenior leadership and taking responsibility for duties and workloads as assigned."
"You’ll be a member of an exciting and fast paced team working in a challenging environment.”
"YES BUT WHAT DO I DO?"
- Electronic_Rub9385
Giphy"Don't forget this nugget, which I saw on a job posting last week, 'Exhibiting courage in the face of ambiguity'."
"Pretty sure that's code for 'You won't know what to do and will have to figure it out in the moment. And it might make you question your integrity'."
- PrincessJos
"Or it means 'You'll be getting conflicting orders from multiple levels of management that all somehow answer to each other but there's zero accountability, so no matter what, your choice will be wrong, so you might as well do whatever you decide is best and take whatever vitriol is thrown at you'."
"'Right to work laws apply, employee can be fired at a moments notice but employee must provide 2 weeks notice if they intend to terminate employment'."
"'Masters Degree desired'."
"'$18/hr'."
- loptopandbingo
"WhY dOeSn'T aNyOnE wAnT tO wOrK aNyMoRe?"
- ikindalold
Is there a slow paced one?
"Fast paced environment..."
- llcucf80
"Aka: 'you'll be doing the work of two or three, but only getting paid for one (barely)'."
"Source: I worked in a 'fast paced environment' for nearly five years. I had a nervous breakdown and panic attacks, and am now on anti-anxiety medication."
"My old boss was like 'don't be afraid to drop a few balls' then fired me after saying that after 5 years I was 'no longer a good fit'."
"She also told me that I should be empowered to know when to say no, but then always told me that I wasn't doing enough to help the other members of the team if I said it."
- Darwinian_10
Giphyunderstaffed
"'Rightsizing'. It means they're going to fire a bunch of people and dump all that extra work on those who remain."
- Coogles
"As in 'Merge departments. Ah, too many people now. Let's fire the undesirables'."
"Wait a bit. 'We're going to split up the department'."
- Tokugawa
"Yeah, funny how 'right sizing' never translates to hiring to meet a higher workload."
- tris_majestis
"No, because you don't need a friendlier sounding euphemism for 'exciting growth opportunities'."
- Mijal
I prefer the classics.
"'Rockstar'."
"As in 'we're looking for rockstars' in a workplace that is as far removed from guitars, moshpits, and headbanging as possible."
- PM_ME_FOODIE_SPOTS
"Usually, the Rockstars are the best of the best. However, Rockstars cost way more than most companies budget for them."
"They want a Rockstar on a high school musician's salary."
- Jethris
"'Looking for a Rockstar employee'."
"Well you got it boss, I will gladly drink all day and show up hours late on a regular basis."
- BananaDictator29
"Rockstar, superstar, guru, and all-star. I've seen them all and it feels kinda childish."
- Rigel04
"Don't forget ninja. Or actually, let's please forget about ninja."
- regcrusher
Giphy"I know."
"There are fully grown adults going around calling themselves these names to help sell marketing books."
"So embarrassing."
- AndyVale
"The more cutesy the term a company uses for employees, the worse they treat them, in my experience."
"It’s doublespeak. I actually viewed them as red flags when I was looking for low-wage customers service jobs, in a tier."
"• Crew/associates/agents: slightly obnoxious but okay, because these are true and pretty much the same as employee."
"• Teammates/partners/family members: bad because they imply that you’re on equal footing with the corporate employees who very much view you as a replaceable piece of equipment."
"• Rockstars/champions/cast members/sandwich artists, etc.: the fact that they have to try so hard with these cringy terms shows that they have nothing to offer. These are usually bottom of the barrel, last resort, short term jobs."
- KATEWM
headwear
"'Wear many hats'."
"Aka do your job and other people’s jobs as well."
- throwaway28236
"Yeah, my last job at a ~200 employee company was network admin, system admin, cloud admin, voice admin, desktop support, etc..
"If it was IT related in any way, it was on my plate. I don't miss it."
- EvlMinion
Giphy"This is usually smaller companies doing things on the cheap, or who can't afford to pay more."
"In my InfoSec days a recruiter LinkedIn messaged me with an opportunity. It was basically CISO, Security Engineer, Penetration Tester and Vulnerability Manager, and a one-man SOC all rolled into one role. Salary £50k."
"That was taking the piss. With the right experience those jobs each are worth more than £50k, the CISO can run into six figures for a good one."
- _spookyvision_
Can I be disowned?
"We’re a family here."
- morphinemso4
"See also: 'You’re not an employee, you’re a partner'."
"'But you still basically make minimum wage. We’ll give you stock options but you won’t make enough money to actually take advantage of those stock options'."
"'Also, you will only get 29 hours of work a week so we don’t have to give any benefits. Oh yeah, and there is no profit sharing'."
"'But you absolutely must refer to yourself as a partner. Now go put on a green apron and make me a f'king Frappuccino'.~Howard Shultz"
- OrchidBest
"Associate is my favorite. You're not even a partner, you're just associated with us in some way."
"'You know, doing the one thing our customers care about paying for, but we'll make sure you get as little money as possible'."
"Me, bitter? Why yes, yes I am."
- Grabnor
It's not easy being green.
"Using 'sustainability' like it is some newfound concept. Bonus points for using it incorrectly."
- FYLBingB0ng
"I do some copywriting for clothing companies and basically if they aren't disposable after you wear them twice and are overpriced they market themselves as sustainable."
- johnbugara
"There's a Levi's ad out now that basically is 'Save the world by wearing Levi's, because it doesn't wear out in a week'."
- Squigglepig52
GiphyThis should have been an email.
"There are many diabolical buzzword bingo winners, but none more diabolical than 'let's regroup in...'."
"That means there is going to be yet ANOTHER of those interminable, time-wasting, meaningless hot-air spewing, MEETINGS in your not so distant future, and you'll be lucky if it only messes with your WORK schedule and doesn't threaten your lunch hour or quitting time."
- Reddidundant
And...
"Annoying phrases (conference call, webinar and Covid-19 edition):"
"This is a living breathing document"
"It's a fluid situation"
"At the end of the day..."
"It is what it is"
"At the end of the day, it is what it is"
"I could care less"
"2 a.m. in the morning"
"Irregardless"
"...puts the onus on..."
"You can't make it up"
"In a vacuum"
"Let's put that in the parking lot and revisit..."
"Adding 'gate' to the end of a word to describe the current scandal"
"Non-military 'boots on the ground'"
"I'm not married to that idea"
"I want to piggyback on that point"
"Telework is no longer necessary"
"Stand down"
"A nothing-burger"
"In these crazy, unprecedented, trying times..."
- Jadakevy
GiphyHas your paradigm shifted?
Are you feeling synergistic?
Or did we miss your least favorite corporate lingo?
Share your own done to death phrases in the comments.
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Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.