Times change, and if you don't change with them you're likely to get left behind. That simple piece of wisdom applies to pretty much everything - up to and including the job market. It seems like a lot of older didn't get that memo, though.
So I'm standing in the store with my mother and she starts in again asking me when one of us (she means me, my partner or the father of my children) are going to get a "real job." All three of us freelance and she just cannot fathom why we would choose not to have a steady 9-5 job that offered benefits and a retirement plan. Of course I've tried explaining that they're not that easy to come by, but she is the head of HR for an international company and has had the same position for longer than many of you readers have been alive. She "grew" with the company and doesn't grasp how rarely that happens anymore. She's never faced a world where a company isn't willing to pay what she's worth, doesn't offer benefits, and certainly doesn't view employees as family members. We freelance because it pays way better and it affords us the freedom to not have to pay for daycare or aftercare costs - and almost nowhere offers health benefits that we can afford anyway, sooo... ?
One Reddit user asked:
What does the older generation not understand about today's job market?
And I kind of want to send all of these responses to my mom, but I'd rather not get into a fight that I know will last 42.68 lifetimes - so I'll passive aggressively write an article instead!
It's All Online
As someone who works in HR, please don't apply for a position in person unless you are specifically told to. Almost all applications are done online now. If you drop off a resume, you are actually making me do the work. I would have to create a candidate application profile in your name using your resume, apply on the job, and move you to the interview stage if you were selected.
When people fax or email resumes, I usually throw them out because I literally do not have the time to apply on your behalf. Older people think that it shows 'initiative' but it's actually a huge inconvenience and shows me that the applicant refuses to follow directions and cannot complete tasks as instructed.
You Can't Just Walk In
That you can't just walk into a company and walk out with a job. My dad and his friend walked into a factory in the early 80's and both left with a job (my dad still works for the same company to this day) he can't understand why I'm finding it so hard to find work now...
My dad thought the same thing. Then he retired from his 30 year job and went to look for work to keep himself busy. He later apologized, he really didn't think it was as bad as I told him it was until he started looking himself.
When I was unemployed my mom told me I should work for Google because they pay a lot and she heard it's a good company to work for. I told her I have a bachelors in a liberal arts field, and I'm not qualified to work for Google. "But you're so smart! If you just talked to someone there they would hire you because you're charming and intelligent! I would hire you!" I love my mom and I appreciate her confidence in me, but that's not how any of this works.
Loyalty Is Out
It's much more competitive, and much less rewarding. You don't owe the company you work for with extra unpaid hours or your loyalty and submissiveness since you aren't rewarded for that anymore, at least certainly not like they used to. Loyalty isn't the name of the game anymore. Flexibility is. You get a better opportunity at another company? Take it.
This is why job hopping is much more common now. Not because of "entitled youths", just because loyalty just isn't effective anymore. Loyalty is no longer rewarded and down right taken advantage of by the generation who reaped the benefits of being loyal. It's not their fault (individually at least), the hypercapitalistic society gave way to an economic crisis and as such cuts in salary, firing a lot of people and less rewards. A more capable workforce (more degrees) also leads to more selective and competitive employee choosing.
The job market changes over time, and the generations that grow in them are adapted to their situation. While the best move for them was loyalty, right now it's flexibility and adaptability.
The problem is they don't seem to understand that, and whine about the "lazy and entitled" younger generation.
My company gave me a .5% you read that right half a percent. I told my manager I quit. He got mad at me I told him half a percent is just pissing in my face and calling it rain. If your company isn't giving you at least a 2% raise every year then you end up basically losing money after inflation and cost of living. Inflation in my area was like 5%. I asked him why I was getting paid less today than when I started. I showed him the math and told him about my rent increases. With that, he had enough ammo to get HR to come back at me with a legit raise.
They couldn't train anyone else so he gave me a bigger raise so they didn't lose me. I told him he needed to talk to HR and sort it out because we were a separate department from sales which is where they were losing money. The big company model ends up punishing people for the shortcomings of others rather than rewarding individuals.
I like my job but yeah I have resumes circulating constantly. I have worked here for 3 years and I have taken maybe 5 job interviews. Its just constantly being open to something new. Its always better to move to a new company and get a raise that way than to wait for the awkward realization that the place you work is trying to keep you on as cheaply as possible.
Find a new job every 2 years.
At one of my last jobs they hired a guy who lied on his resume, and didn't know how to do anything design or civil related. He got terminated within a few months, and I found out he was hired on making a little less than double what I made.
It honestly a f*cking joke. Companies refuse to pay their existing employees a competitive wage, so they all just deal with the merry go round expenses of turn over and hiring new people exponentially more than just keeping their existing employees happy.
I wish loyalty was a value. I think it makes a work environment cancer when you have to walk into your boss's office with an offer in hand to receive any meaningful/competitive raise.
"Seasonal"
Giphy
My dad was telling me how my friends must be really lazy if they haven't found Christmas break jobs. I tried to explain that we live in a college town area, near a big city, and that all the Christmas work (what little there is to begin with, why hire seasonal employees when you already have enough staff?) is already taken by October by all the college kids who already live in the area. Not only that, but trying to get a job back home when you're cities or even states away is really hard. How do you show up for an interview if you're across the country? But he just didn't get it.
He really expects businesses to hire someone for 2-3 weeks during Christmas break. Seasonal jobs start hiring in at least October nowadays and are considered months long positions not weeks long.
- rainjays
I got a seasonal job over the summer. I started in April (which ended up being later than my coworkers) and they expected me to go through October, with some employees going to January. Seasonal is just code for no benefits. The only people who had been there for long were just desperately hoping to get a full time position after putting in years of physical work for less than you'd get at f*cking Target.
- RIP_Fun
Do It For Less
There's so much competition nowadays. We now live in a global economy. No matter what I do, there's someone out there willing to do it for much less.
My boss was paying this accountant $20.00 an hour to do the books. Then he fired him when he realized he could pay some college kid minimum wage who's really wanting to build a resume. Now our new accountant is making minimum wage. The kid is pretty smart. I'm not hating on him at all, but it's just a good example of how a surplus of human labor nose dives wages.
There's sooooo many humans that are competing.
- Yossi25
Happens in the IT world too. High School kid knows just enough to keep the computer systems running that were maintained by the professional who was costing the company $70K per year. Kid will do it for a buck over minimum wage. All works fine for a year then something breaks. Kid tries, messes up really bad and splits. Costs $100K for two weeks to clean up the mess.
The Requirements
Fun fact, some employers are required to post job listings, even if the position has been filled before the listing is even created.
My mom works for a school district. They have this requirement. Since it's a public school job (she gets state benefits, etc,) I don't know if it's a "company" policy or a law, but they either shift people around to fill from within, or hire someone's friend/family member instantly when a position opens, BUT they're still required to post the job and pretend it's available, except nobody who applies externally gets called.
Pretty sad, and a good demonstration of how the job market is in the USA currently. We're apparently at record lows for unemployment. To me, that means everyone's family members stepped up their efforts to help each other out.
Algorithms
How much people have been taken out of the equation in job searches.
A lot of these online application portals are automated. It's not a person reviewing your application first. It's an algorithm scanning your resume and cover letter for key terms and assessing your responses to any additional questions in the application.
Tell the computer what it wants to hear, and you might get to the human review pile. But if you don't, it will reject you regardless of your qualifications.
It Takes So Long
I was informed by my employers that my services were no longer required... or even wanted... in June of 2014, after 10.5 years with the company.
I took a week "off", where I just relaxed like I was on vacation... I hadn't had more than one day off in a week for something like two years... and then began doing the job hunt thing.
At the start of the hunt, I was filling out five applications a day for jobs that were legitimately in my wheelhouse, and sometimes up to 15 or 20 for ones that I could do, but my background didn't look it (computer repair, for example: I've never worked in the biz, no classes, etc, but yet I've been doing such stuff for myself and others for close to 20 years).
Nothing. I didn't get my first interview for a month, and that was a failure... mostly because it was one of those "pay us money and we'll hire you!" jobs. I didn't realize that when I applied.
After six months, I maybe was filling out five "real" applications a week. After 11 months, I was about to jump off a ledge. I did get hired at that point, but it was getting close.
I had filled out close to 500 applications and gotten 10 interviews. In a year. And I suspect that my numbers are nothing uncommon.
"Bother Them Until They Hire You" Is The Worst Advice
My grandmother is always telling me to "bother them until they hire you" and if I say no I'm met with "you have no idea how the world works yet" which infuriates me to no end. It's like yeah they will definitely hire me if I come in every day and ask about a job even if they say they aren't hiring.
You cannot go and "check-in" on your application (aka contact them about the job after submitting an application). Most places will mark you as a Do Not Hire because of this, saying that it makes you impatient & desperate.
Source: I've seen a couple of people who work in hiring say that this is a policy that they've been told to uphold, including my own supervisor.
- Casdayme
After I graduated from the police academy at 21 years old, I had the worst time trying to explain to family that after submitting an application I was specifically told any attempt to contact them (the police department) first would result in my application to be immediately withdrawn. They never believed me until they took it upon themselves to try to call about my applications and it was immediately withdrawn right on the phone. I did eventually get a job at an entirely different department, but it took a lot of damage control. It's no joke.
I was on the interview panel for a job we were advertising, I was filling in for the manager who was on leave so I didn't even really have much influence on who would be hired anyway. One of the applicants added me on LinkedIn straight after the interview, with a message asking how long until he finds out the result. I had to declare it to HR and to the rest of the interview panel because it was a potential conflict of interest. Even though he was a good applicant it did undermine his application because it came across as pushy, like he was trying to curry favor to get the job, as well as extremely inappropriate.
9 - 5
Giphy
The jobs young people are applying for are legitimate jobs.
Older folks think if you don't work M-F from 9-5 it's not a real job that you can use to support yourself and family.
"Just Move" - How?!
A lot of older (and affluent) people tell me "Just move out of state! You'll find a job easy!" But then I ask them with what money will I put down on an apartment when I can't afford to move out of my parent's place even as I scrape together saving. All my family lives within 30mins. I don't have aunts or uncles that live in a different state so I could apply there and bum the couch til I'm on my feet.
They also don't realize how little job security there is. I'm currently long term substitute teaching in a district where the teachers haven't had a raise in 4 years and don't have a contract. You'd think a job that involves educating our youth would be more secure.
And even though I perform all the duties of a teacher, I get paid 1/3 of the wage of the other teachers. The only benefit I am getting is mentor ship and my provisional which is good, but this is the second long term position I have gotten and I still don't seem to have enough experience or something for a full time permanent position. Everything is competition and being a college graduate with honors and all the honor societies you could want still isn't enough.
- ravibun
Trade Is A Viable Option
I'm 27. Didnt graduate high school. I went to trade school for automotive technology (mechanics) I wanted to be a mechanic. Ive always been into cars and motorcycles, anything with wheels anyway. Met some people whilst buying cheap cars and motorcycles on CL and reselling them. I was also in to aircooled VWs. I'm was pretty inclined for a 20 year old, it wasnt just The schooling, it was more,the passion for it.
I have been doing auto body for 9 years now, taught by my peers and a drive to achieve quality, lots of hard work nonetheless.
I make better money than most my age with debt and degrees, with great benefits.
Find your passion, work hard, and be assertive!
Adjusted For Inflation
Giphy
Adjusted for inflation, I make about the same per hour that my mom did at my age, though I have a master's degree and she has no college degrees.
Tech Is Your Friend
As someone who hires people: Boomers need to embrace technology. If you walk into a job interview where i'm trying to find someone to make low 6 figures in sales and you say things like "I don't do computers and cell phones" - chances are you are not going to get the sales job. We might offer a warehouse position for a wage you don't want.
Not saying all Boomers are like this but there seems to be a larger subset of Boomer individuals who just shun modern technology. Even though they grew up and have lived during the amazing technological leaps and bounds of the past 50+ years.
Home or Office? Pick One.
Cost of living is astronomical and companies are in a constant competition to see whom they can pay the least to do the most, and work-life balance is hugely important. Sitting in an office twiddling your thumbs when it's not very busy benefits exactly nobody. I have an aging parent; this is going to require me being home sometimes. Like it, don't like it, but if the older generation wants their kids to take care of them when they're old, they need to actually understand that that involves either 1) working from home or 2) not being in the office. They just can't have it both ways: have us working ourselves sick or taking care of them at home.
The Factory Down The Street
My grandma told me when I was 17 looking for work that she used to be able to quit the factory one day and finish a shift the same day at a factory down the street. I told her it's not that simple anymore and she was surprised.
Out Of State Secretary
That you usually can't get a job in a new city before you move there. Every time I tell my dad I'm ready to leave Los Angeles and try (insert city here) he tells me that I need to make sure I have a job before I move. That only works for specialists-- doctors, lawyers, engineers. No one is going to hire a secretary who lives in a different state.
Inked And Working
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That tattoos won't stop you from getting a job. Every time I get a new tattoo my Nan says 'you'll never get a job looking like that'. Like... I work in a bank. Nobody cares how tattooed my body is as long as I don't steal account details or piss on the photocopier.
Literally Fewer Jobs
That between increasing population and increasing automation there's literally fewer jobs now than there were 40 years ago. Especially in "entry-level" work. (For instance manufacturing output in the USA is the highest it's ever been while manufacturing employment is the lowest it's been)
Flexibilty For All
I'm going to take a different approach to this question and speak from someone as if they were already working in the market. Older generations do not understand the need for a flexible/remote work environment. Why do I need to sit in an office to do something I can do from a laptop on the beach, in a coffee shop, or even at home? Also why am I expected to work 8 hrs? 9-5pm is archaic. What used to take 8 hrs (filing, physically writing notes or documents, speaking to others) now takes way less time. Cut work weeks to 32hrs or 4 days a week but don't cut pay, New Zealand did it, and it's worked. https://www.seattletimes.com/explore/careers/a-4-day-workweek-new-zealand-test-run-shows-a-surprising-result/
Phones, text, email, laptops, internet have all made our jobs easier and have eliminated the need for paper and while we are using these tools to our productive advantage we are not using them to our flexible advantage.
- Gravey9
I can tell you from experience that airplanes are not a good idea. Don't ask me how I know. A lady never kisses and tells, but highlights are ok. There will never be enough room and the movies are lying.
Like Glue...
Melissa Mccarthy Falling GIFGiphy"I lived in Australia for a bit and our studio had this black pleather couch. It looked exactly like that casting couch meme so we tried it for fun once. My ex sweats a lot even when it's not 40C out, but it was and we stuck to the couch like glue."
The Sting
"On a hike in a wildlife refuge. We went off the trail to a more remote area. Was all fun and games tell I got stung on the penis. Was after the event had ended when I was briefly exposed, the little moron went right at me. We joke about it regularly, I'd say it comes up monthly. Just out of the blue she will say "hey remember when you got stung on your penis?" Yes, I remember and will never forget."
Up a Tree
"A "treehouse" that was actually a plywood shack on 6' stilts. It was pretty old and the plywood was splintery, so he laid down an old towel for me (you know, like a gentleman.) Also it was too small for me to fit in any direction, so my head stuck out the door. I stared at the sky and just... And that's the story of how I lost my virginity! A close second would be the bed in his semi-abandoned house full of the semi-abandoned hoarded belongings of his mother. But that's a different story."
Walk Away...
"Met a girl online and we tried to do it at the park. A cop showed up before we started and told us we had to leave. We went back to our cars which was at a small shopping mall. We went behind the shopping mall and got it on behind a dumpster. It worked out well so we met up there again a week later. Except that time, as we were walking away, a dump truck picked the dumpster to empty the trash. Was hilarious at the time but frightening looking back on it. This was about 10 years ago."
Keyed Off
Piano Performing GIFGiphy"I don't recommend on top of a piano. Very uncomfortable and not at all the experience we envisioned."
Scratchy...
Screaming The Voice GIF by NBCGiphy"Bottom of cliff next to the ocean. Turns out I have an allergic reaction to coral and my back was scratched the hell up from it. It was windy, wet, and itchy. Runner up is a movie theatre."
Smoked
"In a literal smoke house... lost my virginity with about 50 rings of deer sausage hanging around to dry. My friend and his dad were gone and we were like "this seems like a great place!" At least when I went home I smelled like venison instead of sex."
"Well, if you find yourself stuck in a rut, it'll be something to fawn over."
Hey Fam...
"I'm not sure if this counts because we didn't get very far. But In a Burger King parking lot… He had a car, so we would park it someplace and hook up in the tiny little two-seater. I was sitting astride him and most of my clothes were off when he froze. I looked over my shoulder and the once abandoned parking lot was abandoned no more. A family of four were just staring at us through the windshield. We didn't know what to do so I just put my shirt back on and we drove away."
"we can hear everything"
"My childhood house had an enclosed porch that was level with my parents' bedroom window (it's hard to explain). You couldn't see into the porch from the window, but if the porch windows were open and the bedroom windows were open you could hear everything from either room."
"So my now husband and I were trying to have sex in that porch, having opened the windows cuz it was hot AH. My parents usually never opened their window and it was past ten, when they usually went to sleep. We weren't trying to be loud, but apparently we were."
"After we were done, I checked my phone and I had 5 missed calls and a text from my mother saying "we can hear everything" and "please at least use a condom". We didn't acknowledge it at the time but my mom got drunk a few years ago and told my aunt the story and said she was worried she was hearing the conception of her grandchild."
Ivy!
jerry seinfeld help GIF by HULUGiphy"After a drunken night on 6th st in Austin, girl and I were walking down red river st, she drags me in this bushy grassy area, we go at it, finish, call an Uber to west campus, continue going at it. The next day, we are super itchy, come to find later it was poison ivy, got it all over our genitals. Fun times. 10/10 would do it again though."
Also, be careful when and if you do it on a bus. You're never fully out of the driver's line of sight. Don't ask me how I know, I just do. Be careful out there but have fun.
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Redditor Pooky135790 wanted to know:
"What are the best adult jokes that are hidden in kids movies?"
These scenes really had us rolling.
Shrek definitely has a few innuendos.
"In Shrek talking about Snow White:"
"'Although she lives with 7 other men, she's not easy.'"
"Gets me every time!"
- Sregge
"The whole Duloc opening scene with the singing puppets. 'Please keep off of the grass, shine your shoes, wipe your…….face.'"
"Also in Shrek: when they get to Farquuad's castle, they note the large size of it, and Shrek asks if Farquuad is compensating for something."
"This joke is great because everyone can laugh at it."
"Kids will think it's a joke about his height."
"Adults will think it's a joke about his other kind of height."
Lord Farquaad Ok GIF by PeacockTVGiphyCars had plenty of jokes.
"In Cars when the two Miata ladies flash their pop-ups at McQueen"
"I didn't realize for years that that was the connotation."
"Look at that scene again and look at the photographers behind Mia."
"It took me a second but I think the one directly in the middle is zooming in on their posteriors lmfao."
- -Paint
lightning mcqueen car GIF by Disney PixarGiphy"Also the Piston Cup. 'He did what in his cup?!' Funny enough 10 year old me got that and my dad didn't."
"Also in Cars, when Mack is driving down the highway and wants to pull over into a truck stop to rest, the sign at the truck stop says 'Top Down Truck Stop, All Convertible Waitresses.'"
Robots had it's fair share of moments.
"In Robots the [father of the] main character and his wife get the parts for their robot child and exclaim, 'Making the baby's the fun part!'"
"Also the old lady bot, Aunt Fanny, has a lot of junk in her trunk."
Oh, Ratatouille.
"There is that one scene from Ratatouille, when Linguini is about to confess about how Remy is in his hat cooking for him, and says 'I... have... a little... tiny...' and right after he says tiny, Collette quickly glances down at his pants. I never even noticed it until someone pointed it out to me because it is pretty subtle and can be easy to miss."
"Seriously the best dick joke in a kid's movie."
"That and the time when the short lil chef guy catches linguini in the pantry and says, 'One can become to familiar with vegetables, you know!'"
ratatouille flirting GIF by Disney PixarGiphyCoco really went there!
"In Coco, everybody laughs when they say Hector died 'choking on chorizo.'"
"'Choking on chorizo' is Mexican slang for sucking d*ck."
"I mean the song Hector sings to his dying friend has the implied, but not spoken, lyrics: 'And her tits they drag on the floor...' (he says 'knuckles' but the guy shouts, 'those aren't the words!')."
- TerH2
What a forgotten gem Monster House was.
"Monster House."
"'That's it's uvula!' 'Oh.... So it's a girl house....'"
"Rick and Morty gets a lot of hate around here because of the sh*tty fan base, but Dan Harmon is a genuinely funny writer."
"Could not BELIEVE Dan Harmon was a writer on this 'til I googled Monster House; your point is a good one lol."
Even in Frozen.
"'Foot size doesn't matter' - when Anna from Frozen talks about her fiancé."
"Frozen 2, 'I like you better in leather anyway' when Kristoff dresses up for Anna at the end."
"My boyfriend and roommate and I all watched it and all three of us spat our drinks at that and we all did the 'Did we just hear what we think we heard?' look. Then we laughed for like 10 solid minutes."
Not a movie, but still good.
"There was an episode of Dexter's laboratory where the father kept going on about Dexter's mother's muffin, and saying he only married her for her muffin. The whole episode was filled with innuendo."
"'Your father is a muffin fiend, a muff-o-maniac, just the aroma can make him crazy.' Lol. Had to see it for myself."
"Season 2 ep 18 The Muffin King."
"There was the episode about DeeDee and Dexter having decoder rings! DeeDee says Dexter's club is for big 'I-D-K-S-C' Dexter decodes it, gasps, and says he's gonna tell mom. Lol."
Whispering French GIFGiphyChildren's shows may be for kids entertainment, but they're created by adults. No doubt they're going to slip in a few naughty jokes here and there.
Time to re-watch some old favorites and see what we missed when we were younger.
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