Times change, and if you don't change with them you're likely to get left behind. That simple piece of wisdom applies to pretty much everything - up to and including the job market. It seems like a lot of older didn't get that memo, though.
So I'm standing in the store with my mother and she starts in again asking me when one of us (she means me, my partner or the father of my children) are going to get a "real job." All three of us freelance and she just cannot fathom why we would choose not to have a steady 9-5 job that offered benefits and a retirement plan. Of course I've tried explaining that they're not that easy to come by, but she is the head of HR for an international company and has had the same position for longer than many of you readers have been alive. She "grew" with the company and doesn't grasp how rarely that happens anymore. She's never faced a world where a company isn't willing to pay what she's worth, doesn't offer benefits, and certainly doesn't view employees as family members. We freelance because it pays way better and it affords us the freedom to not have to pay for daycare or aftercare costs - and almost nowhere offers health benefits that we can afford anyway, sooo... ?
One Reddit user asked:
And I kind of want to send all of these responses to my mom, but I'd rather not get into a fight that I know will last 42.68 lifetimes - so I'll passive aggressively write an article instead!
It's All Online
As someone who works in HR, please don't apply for a position in person unless you are specifically told to. Almost all applications are done online now. If you drop off a resume, you are actually making me do the work. I would have to create a candidate application profile in your name using your resume, apply on the job, and move you to the interview stage if you were selected.
When people fax or email resumes, I usually throw them out because I literally do not have the time to apply on your behalf. Older people think that it shows 'initiative' but it's actually a huge inconvenience and shows me that the applicant refuses to follow directions and cannot complete tasks as instructed.
You Can't Just Walk In
That you can't just walk into a company and walk out with a job. My dad and his friend walked into a factory in the early 80's and both left with a job (my dad still works for the same company to this day) he can't understand why I'm finding it so hard to find work now...
My dad thought the same thing. Then he retired from his 30 year job and went to look for work to keep himself busy. He later apologized, he really didn't think it was as bad as I told him it was until he started looking himself.
When I was unemployed my mom told me I should work for Google because they pay a lot and she heard it's a good company to work for. I told her I have a bachelors in a liberal arts field, and I'm not qualified to work for Google. "But you're so smart! If you just talked to someone there they would hire you because you're charming and intelligent! I would hire you!" I love my mom and I appreciate her confidence in me, but that's not how any of this works.
Loyalty Is Out
It's much more competitive, and much less rewarding. You don't owe the company you work for with extra unpaid hours or your loyalty and submissiveness since you aren't rewarded for that anymore, at least certainly not like they used to. Loyalty isn't the name of the game anymore. Flexibility is. You get a better opportunity at another company? Take it.
This is why job hopping is much more common now. Not because of "entitled youths", just because loyalty just isn't effective anymore. Loyalty is no longer rewarded and down right taken advantage of by the generation who reaped the benefits of being loyal. It's not their fault (individually at least), the hypercapitalistic society gave way to an economic crisis and as such cuts in salary, firing a lot of people and less rewards. A more capable workforce (more degrees) also leads to more selective and competitive employee choosing.
The job market changes over time, and the generations that grow in them are adapted to their situation. While the best move for them was loyalty, right now it's flexibility and adaptability.
The problem is they don't seem to understand that, and whine about the "lazy and entitled" younger generation.
My company gave me a .5% you read that right half a percent. I told my manager I quit. He got mad at me I told him half a percent is just pissing in my face and calling it rain. If your company isn't giving you at least a 2% raise every year then you end up basically losing money after inflation and cost of living. Inflation in my area was like 5%. I asked him why I was getting paid less today than when I started. I showed him the math and told him about my rent increases. With that, he had enough ammo to get HR to come back at me with a legit raise.
They couldn't train anyone else so he gave me a bigger raise so they didn't lose me. I told him he needed to talk to HR and sort it out because we were a separate department from sales which is where they were losing money. The big company model ends up punishing people for the shortcomings of others rather than rewarding individuals.
I like my job but yeah I have resumes circulating constantly. I have worked here for 3 years and I have taken maybe 5 job interviews. Its just constantly being open to something new. Its always better to move to a new company and get a raise that way than to wait for the awkward realization that the place you work is trying to keep you on as cheaply as possible.
Find a new job every 2 years.
At one of my last jobs they hired a guy who lied on his resume, and didn't know how to do anything design or civil related. He got terminated within a few months, and I found out he was hired on making a little less than double what I made.
It honestly a f*cking joke. Companies refuse to pay their existing employees a competitive wage, so they all just deal with the merry go round expenses of turn over and hiring new people exponentially more than just keeping their existing employees happy.
I wish loyalty was a value. I think it makes a work environment cancer when you have to walk into your boss's office with an offer in hand to receive any meaningful/competitive raise.
My dad was telling me how my friends must be really lazy if they haven't found Christmas break jobs. I tried to explain that we live in a college town area, near a big city, and that all the Christmas work (what little there is to begin with, why hire seasonal employees when you already have enough staff?) is already taken by October by all the college kids who already live in the area. Not only that, but trying to get a job back home when you're cities or even states away is really hard. How do you show up for an interview if you're across the country? But he just didn't get it.
He really expects businesses to hire someone for 2-3 weeks during Christmas break. Seasonal jobs start hiring in at least October nowadays and are considered months long positions not weeks long.
I got a seasonal job over the summer. I started in April (which ended up being later than my coworkers) and they expected me to go through October, with some employees going to January. Seasonal is just code for no benefits. The only people who had been there for long were just desperately hoping to get a full time position after putting in years of physical work for less than you'd get at f*cking Target.
Do It For Less
There's so much competition nowadays. We now live in a global economy. No matter what I do, there's someone out there willing to do it for much less.
My boss was paying this accountant $20.00 an hour to do the books. Then he fired him when he realized he could pay some college kid minimum wage who's really wanting to build a resume. Now our new accountant is making minimum wage. The kid is pretty smart. I'm not hating on him at all, but it's just a good example of how a surplus of human labor nose dives wages.
There's sooooo many humans that are competing.
Happens in the IT world too. High School kid knows just enough to keep the computer systems running that were maintained by the professional who was costing the company $70K per year. Kid will do it for a buck over minimum wage. All works fine for a year then something breaks. Kid tries, messes up really bad and splits. Costs $100K for two weeks to clean up the mess.
Fun fact, some employers are required to post job listings, even if the position has been filled before the listing is even created.
My mom works for a school district. They have this requirement. Since it's a public school job (she gets state benefits, etc,) I don't know if it's a "company" policy or a law, but they either shift people around to fill from within, or hire someone's friend/family member instantly when a position opens, BUT they're still required to post the job and pretend it's available, except nobody who applies externally gets called.
Pretty sad, and a good demonstration of how the job market is in the USA currently. We're apparently at record lows for unemployment. To me, that means everyone's family members stepped up their efforts to help each other out.
How much people have been taken out of the equation in job searches.
A lot of these online application portals are automated. It's not a person reviewing your application first. It's an algorithm scanning your resume and cover letter for key terms and assessing your responses to any additional questions in the application.
Tell the computer what it wants to hear, and you might get to the human review pile. But if you don't, it will reject you regardless of your qualifications.
It Takes So Long
I was informed by my employers that my services were no longer required... or even wanted... in June of 2014, after 10.5 years with the company.
I took a week "off", where I just relaxed like I was on vacation... I hadn't had more than one day off in a week for something like two years... and then began doing the job hunt thing.
At the start of the hunt, I was filling out five applications a day for jobs that were legitimately in my wheelhouse, and sometimes up to 15 or 20 for ones that I could do, but my background didn't look it (computer repair, for example: I've never worked in the biz, no classes, etc, but yet I've been doing such stuff for myself and others for close to 20 years).
Nothing. I didn't get my first interview for a month, and that was a failure... mostly because it was one of those "pay us money and we'll hire you!" jobs. I didn't realize that when I applied.
After six months, I maybe was filling out five "real" applications a week. After 11 months, I was about to jump off a ledge. I did get hired at that point, but it was getting close.
I had filled out close to 500 applications and gotten 10 interviews. In a year. And I suspect that my numbers are nothing uncommon.
"Bother Them Until They Hire You" Is The Worst Advice
My grandmother is always telling me to "bother them until they hire you" and if I say no I'm met with "you have no idea how the world works yet" which infuriates me to no end. It's like yeah they will definitely hire me if I come in every day and ask about a job even if they say they aren't hiring.
You cannot go and "check-in" on your application (aka contact them about the job after submitting an application). Most places will mark you as a Do Not Hire because of this, saying that it makes you impatient & desperate.
Source: I've seen a couple of people who work in hiring say that this is a policy that they've been told to uphold, including my own supervisor.
After I graduated from the police academy at 21 years old, I had the worst time trying to explain to family that after submitting an application I was specifically told any attempt to contact them (the police department) first would result in my application to be immediately withdrawn. They never believed me until they took it upon themselves to try to call about my applications and it was immediately withdrawn right on the phone. I did eventually get a job at an entirely different department, but it took a lot of damage control. It's no joke.
I was on the interview panel for a job we were advertising, I was filling in for the manager who was on leave so I didn't even really have much influence on who would be hired anyway. One of the applicants added me on LinkedIn straight after the interview, with a message asking how long until he finds out the result. I had to declare it to HR and to the rest of the interview panel because it was a potential conflict of interest. Even though he was a good applicant it did undermine his application because it came across as pushy, like he was trying to curry favor to get the job, as well as extremely inappropriate.
9 - 5Giphy
The jobs young people are applying for are legitimate jobs.
Older folks think if you don't work M-F from 9-5 it's not a real job that you can use to support yourself and family.
"Just Move" - How?!
A lot of older (and affluent) people tell me "Just move out of state! You'll find a job easy!" But then I ask them with what money will I put down on an apartment when I can't afford to move out of my parent's place even as I scrape together saving. All my family lives within 30mins. I don't have aunts or uncles that live in a different state so I could apply there and bum the couch til I'm on my feet.
They also don't realize how little job security there is. I'm currently long term substitute teaching in a district where the teachers haven't had a raise in 4 years and don't have a contract. You'd think a job that involves educating our youth would be more secure.
And even though I perform all the duties of a teacher, I get paid 1/3 of the wage of the other teachers. The only benefit I am getting is mentor ship and my provisional which is good, but this is the second long term position I have gotten and I still don't seem to have enough experience or something for a full time permanent position. Everything is competition and being a college graduate with honors and all the honor societies you could want still isn't enough.
Trade Is A Viable Option
I'm 27. Didnt graduate high school. I went to trade school for automotive technology (mechanics) I wanted to be a mechanic. Ive always been into cars and motorcycles, anything with wheels anyway. Met some people whilst buying cheap cars and motorcycles on CL and reselling them. I was also in to aircooled VWs. I'm was pretty inclined for a 20 year old, it wasnt just The schooling, it was more,the passion for it.
I have been doing auto body for 9 years now, taught by my peers and a drive to achieve quality, lots of hard work nonetheless.
I make better money than most my age with debt and degrees, with great benefits.
Find your passion, work hard, and be assertive!
Adjusted For InflationGiphy
Adjusted for inflation, I make about the same per hour that my mom did at my age, though I have a master's degree and she has no college degrees.
Tech Is Your Friend
As someone who hires people: Boomers need to embrace technology. If you walk into a job interview where i'm trying to find someone to make low 6 figures in sales and you say things like "I don't do computers and cell phones" - chances are you are not going to get the sales job. We might offer a warehouse position for a wage you don't want.
Not saying all Boomers are like this but there seems to be a larger subset of Boomer individuals who just shun modern technology. Even though they grew up and have lived during the amazing technological leaps and bounds of the past 50+ years.
Home or Office? Pick One.
Cost of living is astronomical and companies are in a constant competition to see whom they can pay the least to do the most, and work-life balance is hugely important. Sitting in an office twiddling your thumbs when it's not very busy benefits exactly nobody. I have an aging parent; this is going to require me being home sometimes. Like it, don't like it, but if the older generation wants their kids to take care of them when they're old, they need to actually understand that that involves either 1) working from home or 2) not being in the office. They just can't have it both ways: have us working ourselves sick or taking care of them at home.
The Factory Down The Street
My grandma told me when I was 17 looking for work that she used to be able to quit the factory one day and finish a shift the same day at a factory down the street. I told her it's not that simple anymore and she was surprised.
Out Of State Secretary
That you usually can't get a job in a new city before you move there. Every time I tell my dad I'm ready to leave Los Angeles and try (insert city here) he tells me that I need to make sure I have a job before I move. That only works for specialists-- doctors, lawyers, engineers. No one is going to hire a secretary who lives in a different state.
Inked And WorkingGiphy
That tattoos won't stop you from getting a job. Every time I get a new tattoo my Nan says 'you'll never get a job looking like that'. Like... I work in a bank. Nobody cares how tattooed my body is as long as I don't steal account details or piss on the photocopier.
Literally Fewer Jobs
That between increasing population and increasing automation there's literally fewer jobs now than there were 40 years ago. Especially in "entry-level" work. (For instance manufacturing output in the USA is the highest it's ever been while manufacturing employment is the lowest it's been)
Flexibilty For All
I'm going to take a different approach to this question and speak from someone as if they were already working in the market. Older generations do not understand the need for a flexible/remote work environment. Why do I need to sit in an office to do something I can do from a laptop on the beach, in a coffee shop, or even at home? Also why am I expected to work 8 hrs? 9-5pm is archaic. What used to take 8 hrs (filing, physically writing notes or documents, speaking to others) now takes way less time. Cut work weeks to 32hrs or 4 days a week but don't cut pay, New Zealand did it, and it's worked. https://www.seattletimes.com/explore/careers/a-4-day-workweek-new-zealand-test-run-shows-a-surprising-result/
Phones, text, email, laptops, internet have all made our jobs easier and have eliminated the need for paper and while we are using these tools to our productive advantage we are not using them to our flexible advantage.
When looking at a resume, it's easy to understand how prospective employers will assume someone is very intelligent based on their education and past experience.
But one shouldn't only assume someone's intelligence based on what they read.
More often than not, one can tell rather quickly that someone possesses above-average intelligence, based on how they speak, how they behave, or other telling details.
Redditor PadWanKenobi was curious to hear what people felt were the tell tale signs they were in the company of a possible genius, leading them to ask:
"What’s a sign of extremely high intelligence?"
"Ability to intuitively and quickly understand complex systems and how lots of parts relate in a coherent whole."
"Like I work with some people who just keep tons of concepts in their head and easily integrate new information into their understanding of those concepts."
"They immediately know what questions they should be asking to better understand."
"And these are things they're currently working on, not like things they spent time studying in school over years."
"They just have a very strong ability to synthesize new information into their understanding."
"I sit in meetings distracted and confused having forgotten what we talked about in the previous meetings, and these folks just consistently have a solid handle on everything."- Ok-Control-787
Innate Problem Solvers
"They know when not to solve a problem."
"This took me a while to understand but the smartest people I know do this."
"It could be a really simple thing like ignoring emails from people asking for help."
"The supervisor or boss might have a quick and easy solution for the situation but instead of just handing it to the person that asked they let them figure it out on their own."
"They know who they can do this with and when to do it."
"If they did that with all of their underlings it would just create a mess."
"Another example that I can think of is planned chaos."
"Some people can predict exactly where things will go wrong and they could fix it before it creates a problem."
"They don't because nobody ever notices what's going on in the background when things are working perfectly."
"Once things fails then everybody notices and if you are the one person that fixed it you become the hero."
"They can also use then chaos to reach a goal they couldn't get before if things were working correctly."
"There's many examples of this in every day life that I didn't see before until I realized what was happening."- atapesGiphy
You know what they say about people with small hands
"If your hand is smaller than your face."- FallofTheKnight
The all knowing glow.
"When someone asks you a question and you push your glasses up while light comes out of it and covers your eyes for some reason."- JonEregor
Those giveaway behavioral quirks
"Wearing glasses and saying things like 'ah yes', and 'I see' while you pensively rub your chin."- iuytrefdgh436yujhe2Thinking Reaction GIF by ABC TV + IVIEWGiphy
"When they explain something they make the people around them feel smarter, not dumber."- redkat85
Being one step ahead.
"The capacity to understand complex things, see patterns where regular people don't."- Ostepop234
"They have this tendency to make you go 'Ohhh, why didn't I think of that?' when listening to them talk."- did_it_forthelulzWhy Didnt I Think Of That Cillian Murphy GIFGiphy
An endless love of learning
"A passion for knowledge and expanding understanding of complex concepts."
"The plumber can be just as insightful as the scholar."- KatatoniK94
Of course, one shouldn't always be fooled by what they see.
As many people are masters at appearing much smarter than they are.
In fact, one important sign of super intelligence is being able to separate those who appear smart, from those who actually are.
With each passing year of a marriage, couples will often discover that while they don't love each other any less than they once did, that spark their relationship used to carry has faded.
This will often lead these couples to look for ways to spice things up a bit.
Among the more popular experiments is inviting a third member to their bedroom.
Enticing as this prospect is, however, it's also easy to be intimidated by the reality of it, or even the mere suggestion of it.
"Men, what advice do you have for men whose wives want to bring a third into the bedroom?"
Make sure you want to do it.
"You need to be completely honest with yourself, ask if this is something you want and could live with."- Dame87
Proceed with caution
"It’s like frolicking in a mine field."
"You both better be SUPER into the idea, you can’t have one person who’s reluctantly agreed to go along with it."
"And established rules."
"A threesome sounds like fun and games until you’re watching your partner make faces and sounds that you only thought were for you in your most intimate moments together, and a burning jealousy comes out of nowhere and breaks your heart."
"I’m not saying it’s automatically a bad idea and I know people do polyamory successfully, but dear god be careful."- coleosis1414
Make sure you're an active participant
"I had an ex that was adamant that she wanted to be a swinger or whatever."
"The one time I decided to roll with it, I hit it off immediately with the other dude's girlfriend and had a blast hanging out with her all night."
"The other dude was a total creep, though."
"Also, my ex could not handle the fact that someone else was giving me the slightest bit of attention."
"So, needless to say, that didn't go anywhere."
"Turns out she didn't want to be a swinger, she just wanted to have sex with other people behind my back, which she had no problems whatsoever with."- Ted_Denslow
Look out for ulterior motives
"Just remember that if you bring this up and your husband is against it, that could be the beginning of the end of your marriage."
"For a lot of people their partner saying 'I am seriously considering having sex with other people and I'm checking with you if it is ok', is a deal breaker."- gamerplays
Consider a test run?
"Go to a bar together separately."
"Watch them flirt/interact with someone else."
"If you get jealous, it's probably a bad idea to bring in a third."
"If it turns you on, go for it."- SinSlayer
Query people with experience.
"It’s something my wife and I have talked about."
"We both agreed that opening the Pandora’s box is not the way we want our relationship to go."
"While it sounds fun, we have seen way to many relationships derailed because of it."- DarthDujo
Consider going whole hog.
"Bring a 4th."- xxemrgmi
Evaluate your relationship first.
"Make sure you and your partner are secure in your own relationship before having another person join."
"Have boundaries, and no secrets."
"From my experience it doesn't usually work out in the end."- Thick-Procedure455
"Don't do it."
"For a long time, my ex harbored a fantasy of watching me have sex with another woman."
"Hey, who knows why any of us are wired the way we are?"
"After contemplating the idea together for a while, we decided to approach one of her more attractive co-workers, who had made a series of flattering comments along the lines of "you're so lucky" and "he's so good-looking'."
"She enthusiastically agreed."
"Our first meet-up was of course awkward, but the second, third and following were pretty good."
"In fact they got progressively hotter, as we all got more comfortable with each other's boundaries, erotic likes and dislikes."
"However, over a few months these occasional kinky weekends transitioned into the co-worker asking more frequently and aggressively to be invited over."
"We tried to explain that we had intended these threesomes to be rare and exotic highlights in our sex life, not regular occurrences, but she didn't take the message to heart and instead became increasingly insistent, bordering on smothering."
"After being turned down one Friday, that night she unexpectedly showed up at our door anyway, carrying a weekend bag and wearing nothing but a raincoat, stay-ups and heels."
"While that was quite a sight, it definitely creeped us out, as it made us finally realize the whole arrangement was descending into 'play Misty for me' territory."
"My ex and I agreed that her unexpected and unwelcome appearance signaled the end of future three-ways, at least until we were able to cool our own selves down, reassess, and perhaps later find a less demanding and insistent third."
"Things subsequently got very sticky at work for my wife, as her co-worker, with whom she had to interact closely, strongly resented being permabanned, and kept demanding to know 'what she'd done that was so awful'."
"Coworker eventually asked to be transferred to another office, but by the time that process was over and done, the discomfort / guilt / pressure / confusion my ex was suffering both at home and at work had begun to take its psychological toll."
"I must confess it didn't help that our own sex life was simultaneously going through a rough patch."
"Long story short, we ended our decade-long relationship less than a year after breaking off the threesomes, chiefly due to trust issues and growing sexual incompatibility, both perhaps triggered by our experimentation."
"Ever since, I've regretted agreeing to that first three-way."
"If I hadn't been so damned eager to take a bite of forbidden fruit, we might have kept our relationship intact."
"But I guess this can also be put down as what sometimes happens when you ignore that old advice, 'don't sh*t where you sleep'."- theartfulcodger
When venturing into the unknown, it's always wise to gain some first hand experience, to hear a variety of pros and cons of what you're possibly getting yourself into.
That way, deciding whether or not it's for you will become increasingly clear.
It's also important to remember, that it is always ok to say "no".
People Share Their Best 'You Either Die The Hero Or Live Long Enough To Become The Villain' Experiences
"You either die the hero or live long enough to become the villain."
Though not necessarily a universal truth, all of us have witnessed unfortunate moments in our lives where we've seen this saying become a reality.
Be it seeing our favorite public figures take a serious fall from grace, someone we know and admire eventually disappointing us in a devastating manner, or even seeing ourselves turn into someone we promised we'd never become.
One Redditor was curious to hear people's examples of this saying coming to light, either from a personal experience or seeing it happen to a well-known, public figure, leading them to ask:
"Who is your example of 'you either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain'?"
"He originally stood up for civil rights when it was really unpopular."
"Was hospitalized and accidentally placed in the black ward."
"When the doctors found out, they tried to move him, but he refused."
"Then he became a cult leader and used his power and influence to end the lives of a thousand people."- Crvsby
Earning a position of power
"Working in restaurant kitchens."
"You either burn out young, or become the boss that everyone hates."
"There's exceptions, but that's the rule."- grandpas_old_crow
"Henry Heimlich, inventor of the Heimlich Maneuver."
"Made up a bunch of untested uses for it, treating people having asthma attacks, and drowning victims were the two I remember that he publicly talked up."
"Later, he funded an experiment that involved injecting people with Malaria to see if it would treat other conditions.
"The experiment was found to be unethical by American review boards, so he conducted them in Ethiopia." - User Deleted
"In WW1 he led the French to victory at Verdun, one of the worst battles in human history."
"In WW2, after France was beaten, Petain was the head of state of Vichy France."
"Guy went from the Lion of Verdun to the biggest Nazi collaborator in France."- arthuranymoredonuts
"Every organ until it gets cancer."- SuperBaconjam
"He had the whole country behind him here in Ireland at one point bar people who thought combat sport is grotesque."
"He was witty, original, backing himself up and having a Hollywood like rise to stardom."
"Now he's someone who the whole country is ashamed of, goes punching old men, clearly sleeps around on his wife while she's at home with the kids, just a walking caricature of himself."
"He didn't listen to his own advice."
"Get out."- StephenPigot2020
Turning into our parents
"My dad used to annoy me by calling my Pokemon cards 'Pokey-Mans'."
"Now my kids have them and I do the same thing and it annoys the sh*t out of them."
"Thanks for the (Pokeyman) gold!"- rumpel4skinOU
"Almost died during the revolutionary way, if I recall correctly, and if he had he would have been remembered a huge hero, and a martyr."
"Instead he lived and changed sides, and is remembered only for his being a traitor."- uniqueperson22
Be it someone we knew quite intimately, or someone we admired from a far, it is always heartbreaking to see someone evolve from someone we love, to someone we utterly hate.
Sometimes we do things that have to be done.
And some of those things live in life's gray area of right and wrong.
What comes as a surprise to some is when we don't care if we're wrong.
We may still technically be in the right.
But morally and ethically, there may be some issues.
But still, many people don't care.
Redditor BirdyPizzawanted to see who would fess up about some of the worst things we're responsible for but have no shame.
"What is the darkest thing you have ever done and don’t regret?"
I've stolen from department stores that overcharged. I was arrested. I didn't care. So there...
"Five years ago my dad suffered a catastrophic stroke. Left paralyzed and robbed of his speech and ability to communicate he was a shell of the once vibrant, charismatic man he once was. He was moved into skilled nursing where he lived for nearly two years, he was miserable."
"On my last visit I told him it was okay if he wanted to leave us, that we would miss him but he should go. A week later I received the call that he had passed. Instead of immediate grief I felt relief. Relief that he was finally free. The grief came later and I still miss him every single day."
"Got into a car accident and had to stay with my mom for a couple days to figure out what to do. Went back to my apartment (I had two roommates) and everything was missing from my room. Long story short one of my roommates had everything hidden in her room."
"I called and told her the things were missing from my room and she came up with a lie that a couple girls came to look at my room (I was moving out bc of the accident, long story) and that they must have taken my things. She had everything I owned. Including my grandmothers perfume bottles, stuffed to the back of her closet, under her bed, behind her dresser etc."
"So I packed all of my stuff up. Then took a giant black garbage bag and stuffed as much of her closet in it as I could. Took it to the middle of nowhere, dug a hole and burnt it. She called screaming at me that her stuff was missing. I told her the two girls must have come by and taken her stuff too."
"I hit my uncle left right and center when he was trying to choke my father to death. I was 16 years old at that time, a very skinny girl. I beat his face neck and every part of him that I could target with so much intensity that my knuckles turned blue the next day. I had an animalistic rage that day trying to help my father get away from his death grip. I hate my uncle even today."
"I got anger issues because of growing up around him. And I don't regret beating him that day at all. He was physically abusive to his wife as well. One fine day, his wife retaliated by beating him blue with a stick. And he stopped being physically violent towards her post that."
"A neighbor like 10 years ago was neglecting their dog badly in the heat. The dog escaped often and ended up at the shelter a lot. One day she jumped the fence and got her tie-out cable stuck on the fence. (She was not in danger of choking.) Neighbor put her on a 3-foot-long cable tied to a doorknob, no water, 90 degree day. I let some kind folks steal her, watched the whole thing and said nothing to stop them."
"When my father was dying and in pain I was the one who told the doctors he had been through enough and we couldn't see him suffer anymore. Doctor injected him with something, I assume a morphine mega dose and he passed peacefully moments after. Euthanasia may not be legal in UK but compassionate doctors know what's what. I don't regret it because my pa made me promise I would have his back when he got sick or old. I'm sad he got sick and never got to get old."
That is a lot of mess. But sometimes we have to do what we have to do.
"One of my ex best friends in high school was a real narcissistic lunatic. Had so many egotistical fantasies about what he deserved but I remained his friend because we met through my close friend (his girlfriend). As I started realizing what a terrible person he was I convinced him to go after his fantasy of a harem by asking to add a 3rd to their relationship, that led to a fight between his gf."
"I called her about it and asked how she felt about him adding someone to their relationship and about him sleeping with her. She said she knew nothing about that and started crying because he cheated on her. I basically helped orchestrate their breakup and have no regrets. She is happy with her first child now and he is in a toxic af relationship with 3 kids, 2 of which aren't his and his partner is 8 years older than him."
"Had to make the choice to take my dad off of life support after he got Covid this year. He was sedated for a couple of weeks and one of his lungs collapsed and I couldn't watch him fall apart anymore. My dad was a bulky dude. Constantly did a lot of outdoor work and to see him bone skinny and have no muscle left killed me and I knew even if he somehow got through it, he would have been so miserable and depressed in that state he was in. I don’t regret it. I think it was the right thing to do by him. I’ll never not miss him though. That was my buddy."
"Turned a close friend into the fish and game. He would poach mountain lions and bears. His whole family would literally shoot them and leave them. He would brag about it. I couldn’t stand it and felt that I needed to stop him. He’s in prison and so is his uncle. I know I ruined his life but he was literally killing so many mountain lions and bears."
"In middle school, there was this group of boys that would corner me in the hallway and try to scare me. I was the perfect target for these little b**tards. I was short, skinny, and had (and still have) and anxiety disorder. One day I just had enough, and asked a friend if I could have an extra pencil, sharpened it as much as I could, and when I saw one of them in the hallway, I stabbed the hell out of his leg. Sh**head got what he deserved."
Wow... we really are a dark and secretive people.