What did you just say? And why?
I find myself asking that question pretty constantly.
I ask it to myself and to the world.
Sometimes we don't even realize we've been indoctrinated by generations of language that is just rotten.
Redditor SpecificRainx wanted to hear about all of the ways certain syntax can really set people off.
They asked:
"What single phrase instantly pisses you off?"
"I love you."
I'd start there.
What good does it do?
I kid, I kid...
LIES!!
"Your call is important to us!" ~ DeathSpiral321
“Please stay on the line, a representative will be with you in a moment.”
"50 MINUTES LATER:"
“Your call is important to us! Please stay on the line, a representative will be with you in a moment.” ~ Bobby3Stooges
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Did you hear me?
"So, what you're saying is... [dishonest misinterpretation of what you said]..." ~ RationalPleb
"Ooh, I hate this one. I have a coworker who always says this. I'm not trying to say anything. I did say something that you are trying to understand." ~ Cb8393
"That's even worse than ignoring you. It feels like you're their enemy, and they try to destroy all your arguments with deliberate misinterpretation and you know they feel smart about it too..." ~ Dude_Named_Chris
No Excuses
“'I’m just a *itch!' or 'I’m just an a**hole.' It’s always said flippantly, as an excuse to act sh**ty." ~ Pixledreamgirl
"A friend of 18 years said 'I’m just an a**hole, you know how I am' about something recently and it was the wrong bat day and wrong bat channel for that crap and I ended our friendship that instant. Enough with negative a**holes." ~ IcanSew831
Listen
"Please listen carefully, as our menu options have recently changed.?" ~ KangarooMaster319
"I maintain some phone systems - it's to get people to pay attention to the menu, not because anything has changed." ~ Sparcrypt
"Like that’s the most important thing on my plate today. Listening carefully to their changed menu." ~ brekthroo
2 Years!
"Due to the Covid-19 pandemic, we are experiencing longer than usual wait time. IT'S BEEN TWO YEARS, HIRE SOME MORE DAMN PEOPLE!" ~ eka8897
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I hate menu options that change. And I hate menus that blatantly change for no reason. So frustrating...
HELP!!
"Nothing cracks me up more than 'if this is an emergency, please hang up and call 9-1-1. Oh! Because, in the case of an emergency, my first thought is to pick up the phone and call my bank or internet service!" ~ exceptAcceptance
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Swing Away!
“Aren’t you too old for that?”
"I HATE THIS.!!!! You can swing on swings, color a coloring book, play with Legos IDGAF." ~ _andy_suarez851
"Usually said by people with boring lives and no hobbies. Yes I play video games, I like swings, I like to colour. I like to fill my life with joy, I don't want to only work, come home, put on Netflix, deal with a bunch of screaming kids and go to sleep. I think there is a level of jealousy in this comment." ~ SmallPooka
“brutally honest”
“I just tell it like it is and people don’t like it, 'I’m just brutally honest.' 'People don’t like me because I speak my mind.' 'I don’t play nice with others [said with a huge smirk, it blew my mind].'"
"Um no, our coworkers don’t like you because you’re a *itch. If you’re 'brutally honest”'you’re more excited about a chance at brutality than the actual honesty. You can be honest without being just straight-up mean."
"You can speak your mind while being professional. How can you be a whole-a** adult and not get along with any of the other adults around you??? They must be the problem. Right, of course." ~ WanduhNotWandull
We get it...
“Oh get over it.”
"My family would say that a lot when I was upset. Like when a drunk family member broke my $100 Halloween decoration and couldn’t understand why I was pissed."
"Edit: I glad and sad that people are able to relate to this. It’s such and invaliding statement. Also thank you everyone for the upvotes. I’m still learning how to navigate Reddit so this is kind of neat to see.I made an account years a ago and then didn’t use it until now. :) " ~ Evoehm13
Second Opinion Please
“Your doctor is wrong. You couldn’t possibly have ___.” ~ Grace-and-Maya
"Someone at work told me I was too young to understand the signs of a stroke, (I'm in my late 30s), after informing her my mother died from stroke complications."
"She proceeded to inform me that I had to be incorrect and wouldn't know that, then decided to try to tell me a story about her family member that died that was a more shocking and impactful death than my mother."
"Mind you, this woman did not know my mother and this was about the 4th time she ever spoke to me." ~ DeusRexy
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Clear!
"People who say 'Do I make myself clear?' are almost always jerks."
Plantayne
"A few years ago I was telling my son off and I tried to say 'do I make myself clear?' but got mixed up with 'do you understand?' I ended up saying 'do you make yourself clear?!' then tried to correct myself and ended up saying 'Do I understand?'"
"My husband from the next room going 'not really, no!' was the final nail in the coffin XD."
Duvetmole
Explosive!!
"Calm down!"
NonZealot
"Never in the history of calming down has anyone ever actually calmed down when told to calm down. If I am upset, telling me to calm down will pretty much instantly make me go nuclear, especially if the person telling me to calm down is the reason I'm mad in the first place."
deagh
"This frustrates me so much! Some of my family members who shall remain unnamed say this in arguments when they are getting upset. In the mean time I am calm and them saying this is what gets me upset."
Sjeetopotato1
Al's Words
"Half the stuff in Weird Al's 'Word Crimes' song. Especially 'I could care less.'"
irving47
"That means you do care. At least a little."
NootTheNoot
GIF by Team Coco
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Karen don't Care!
"The customer is always right, like WTF... NO most of the time they are wrong."
EggnWaffle
"Good luck telling Karen that she is wrong, she has all the time and all of the anger and she’s always right and want to see the manager."
stankydragon
"That’s only half the phrase. The real phrase is 'the customer is always right in matters of taste.'"
haydensidun
'no offense'
“No offense, but—“
nineninety-nine
"I knew a woman who would preface almost everything she said with 'I’m not being funny, but-' the word funny here basically meaning offensive rather than silly or humorous. What was weird is she would say it even when she wasn’t saying anything controversial at all!"
“'I’m not being funny, but your Nan is a lovely lady.' 'I’m not being funny, but the girls really like their new school.' 'I’m not being funny, but I don’t like chocolate.' It’s literally the same thing as saying 'no offense' here but it was just her little quirk."
Susim-the-Housecat
Caring Always
"I could care less."
knovit
"A friend of mine tried to justify why it was grammatically correct to state 'I could care less' rather than 'I couldn't care less.' To which I attempted to explain to him, but to no avail."
thurowuhwei
"Remove the negative and expect the same meaning. I’ve never been able to work out this misunderstanding. They’ve heard the words but don’t understand what they mean, then start saying it themselves. It’s not even that complicated."
trev2234
Excuse me?
"Whatever."
m4maggie
"Omg, I was trying to get a library card yesterday, but I just moved a couple towns over and didn’t have proof of residence. The librarian was so rude about it! At the end I just accepted I wouldn’t be getting a card that day and I said I’d put the book back myself. She replied with 'whatever' and I was just stunned. What the hell?"
HarrisonRyeGraham
Shut Up KIM!
“Nobody wants to work anymore.”
KarlaMarqs1031
"Had the pleasure of talking to an older guy who needed a rental truck for his work (I work at a body shop). I told him that Enterprise will set him up with a similar class of vehicle, to which he said, 'well they better, I’m one of the last people still working for a living!' Big laugh. In my head, I was like, what the f**k does it look like I’m doing then?"
KarlaMarqs1031
Kim Kardashian Fashion GIF
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Ear to Ear
"'Smile.' Why? What kind of life do you think I have?"
Zealousideal_Talk479
"Weird how people say this but never ask what’s causing you to frown in the first place. They just expect you to lighten up so that they feel better. And sometimes people just have RBF and you have to explain yourself all day everyday as to why you look so grumpy. It’s exhausting."
Language is supposed to grow with time, so let's start trimming the fat.
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When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
homer simpson episode 23 GIF
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
Disney World GIF
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.