Life gets frustrating or hard, or even downright depressing sometimes.
We do our best to make things better, but sometimes the only thing we can really do is lie to ourselves.
It's not exactly healthy, but we all do it.
Sometimes, the lies are small and harmless. I would sometimes take on a little project, like alphabetizing my DVD collection, get halfway through, then decide to finish the next day. That day never really came.
Other lies are not totally harmless but are common. Before I started working out regularly, I'd always tell myself I'll start the following week, but always found an excuse to continue my existence as Couch Potato Girl when the following week came.
Some lies are really just a way of running away from your problems, like telling yourself your bad grades will be better than you think when your report card comes out, even though you know that's not true.
Redditors have admitted they tell themselves lots of lies, from the harmless to the harmful and everything in between, and they are ready to share those lies.
It all started when Redditor mikaloha asked:
“What is the lie you tell yourself most often?”
Some lies are simple and funny.
And One More After That
"Just one more episode."
– UnimaginativeFish
"next minute you're already watching the season 2"
– mikaloha
"Can confirm! Also one last chapter. Next thing I know I'm looking for the second book because the first one ended in a cliff hanger"
– lexi2222222222
Too Tired Today
"That tomorrow I am going to exercise."
– gametime-2001
"99% all diets and exercise regimens start on Monday."
– Thencewasit
The Feline Problem
"That I own my cat, and he doesn't own me."
– Rouxxx90
"LIE! your cat owns you, that's a fact"
– mikaloha
Teeth Care
"Dentist: Do you floss?"
"Me: Yes"
– Downtown-Assistant1
"I just tell the truth. No"
– cardinalkgb
Just So Delicious!
"That fried chicken is healthy for me"
– evildorkgod
"keep lying who cares chicken are yum"
– mikaloha
Others were heavier and shows what people are really going through.
There's Someone For Everyone
"That someone out there actually wants to date a divorced 38 year old man who lives in a crappy apartment, only makes 30k per year, and has a kid."
– jamesofearth1
"Your age, apartment, marital status and job don’t define who you are as a person. Those are your current circumstances. Plenty of women are looking for a good human, a good dad, and someone who hangs up their wet towels. Just gotta find the right one who is worthy of your love."
– brain_always_on
"The love of my life was a divorced 37 year old man with a four year old daughter and lived in a duplex. We met on Tinder. I was 35, no kids, never married, doing barely okay financially, entrenched in my loneliness. Three and a half years later, we are still in love, have enough money for weekly pizza night, and my stepdaughter is the most important person in my life. He never thought someone would want to gamble on him and I never thought someone would break through my depression. It's incredibly hard but it actually does happen."
– lokiandgoose
Positive Thinking
"That my life will magically get better if I just keep my chin up and stay positive."
– FuzzMcBeefy84
"Staying positive and keeping your chin up is important on improving your life, but it's just the requirement for being able to do things that will then improve your life. If you've been able to keep positive attitude despite adversities, you are really strong already."
"Things won't just magically happen, but even small improvements can bear big fruit. If you think of most people in the world, they aren't really go-getters, yet their lives go perfectly okay. For most time, life doesn't need great deeds to go well. Just keep doing your small improvements where you can, and remember to look behind yourself sometimes to see how far you've come. You can do this."
– ConservativeSexparty
The Future Is Bright
"That the next generations will find all the solutions to the human condition."
– therealstrongwoman
"Not if as kids they are watching Bob the sponge!"
– lexi2222222222
"Oh they've been found long ago, it's just a matter of taking power back from those who misuse such powerful information, and implementing the proper measures to advance our evolution, rather then stiffle it and reap profit from our miseries."
– Other-Time-3115
Build Up Confidence
"That I'll not let it get to me next time. But when next time comes around..."
"Although I think I have made some progress over the years. Thinks get under my skin a tad bit less often now."
– ballsOfWintersteel
Everyone Moves On Eventually
"that im doing alright. that i am okay with leaving him. that im over him. that i dont love him anymore."
– Deleted User
"You will be alright- one step at a time. You will be okay because there's a reason you left. You don't get 'over' or stop loving someone instantly and you can also still love someone but also know that you can't be with them."
– Faith5v5
And of course, there are those lies that we all tell ourselves.
Eat Better, Feel Better
"I'm starting my diet next week"
– bettyfordslovechild
"Tell yourself you'll start it right now. And if you mean it, hopefully it'll happen. It's easier to do something in the moment than to postpone it."
– StickyBlackMess69420
"And also, remember to be specific with what you’re eating. If you say, “I want to eat less treats”, then you’ll end up eating the same. If you say, “I will only eat (X) treats every day”, then you’ll end up doing that. It worked for me, I hope it works for you."
– Thedownrihgttruth
Could Use a Rememberall!
"That I'll remember something and don't need to write it down.. whatever it was"
– CasualSlacker
Yeah, That'll Happen
"I'll stop scrolling Reddit in 5 minutes and go to bed."
– LazyLion65
"The legend says, he's still scrolling"
– Ill_Gas4579
Why Do Today…
""I'll do it tomorrow""
"I have delayed stuff for months and some of them are things that would take me like 30 minutes to do."
– Raigheb
"procrastination is a disease. there are ways to stop it but i'll tell you how tomorrow"
– mikaloha
Yeah, I’m a victim of that one myself.
Do you have anything to add? Let us know in the comments below.
- People Break Down The Most Ridiculous Lie Their Parents Ever Told Them ›
- People Break Down Which Popular Sayings Are Total BS ›
The Best Pickup Lines Of All Time
A Redditor asked: 'what's the best pickup line of all time?'
When it comes to flirting, everyone has their preferences of how they like to be flirted with. Some people like cleverly crafted pickup lines.
I always thought pickup lines were a cheap way to get someone's attention. That being said, there are some good ones out there. I've been on the receiving end of both. "On a scale from one to America, how free are you tonight?" and, "You must be the square root of two because I feel irrational around you."
Both got me to engage in conversation, and I even dated the guy who used the first one for a while.
I'm not the only one that knows some good pickup lines. Redditors have both heard and used some pickup lines and are eager to share their favorites.
It all started when Redditor Sauce_Dealer420 asked:
"What's the best pickup line of all time?"
Read It And See
"You put the sexy in dyslexic."
– koookyko
"This made me laugh so hard."
"Because I can read properly."
– TappedIn2111
I'm Hooked
"This girl I used to work with and I went to a bar after work and we’re having fun, and she leans over to tell me a joke. And she says:"
"Three boy mice and a girl mouse were all stuck in a room with no doors and no windows. One of the boy mice asked the girl mouse how to get out and she said, “Sleep with me tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning.""
"The next day, he is gone. The second boy mouse asks the girl mouse how he got out and she says, “Sleep with me tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning.""
"Next day, he’s gone too."
"So now the girl telling me this joke says to me, “Do you want to know how the last mouse gets out of the box?”
"And I say “yes.""
"And she says, “Sleep with ME tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning”. All this while staring me in the eyes and smiling."
"I said, “Check please bartender!!""
"I forgot to ask her in the morning, but that was the best pickup line I’ve ever heard."
– reb678
Statistics
"The odds we sleep together are 50% because half of us agree so far."
– AlfheimKitteh
"Math is always super sexy."
– Acceptable-News-6811
Money, Money, Money
"Hey girl, are you the English financial system? Because I'm about to give you a weak pound."
– onemanwolfpack21
"Yo girl, do you know exchange rates? Because Euro 10."
– kkirchhoff
Winner, Winner
""Are you a magician? Cuz every time I look at you, everyone else disappears.""
"This line got me a wife and three kids. 😊"
– PRSHZ
One Liners
"Are you a beaver? Cuz damn."
– Starry_Night-
"If you were a fruit you'd be a fineapple."
– Slainna
"Hi, do you want to go for a ride on a Harley?"
"(My name is Harley) 😁"
– OMNIxvTRIX
No Losers
"If I asked you for a date would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this question?"
– SchemePale6222
"I got blue screen in my head."
"Explain please."
– TastyToothpasta
"You can't lose. Say no, the answer is yes. Say yes, the answer is also yes."
"Dang sounds kinda creepy writing it out like that. Still clever wordplay though."
– Steeze_Schralper6968
Clever
"My go-to was always:"
"I used to be a history teacher, so I know lots of important dates. Want to help me make another one?"
"A little corny, but it usually worked."
– StuffToday
Refreshing
"That one actually worked with my ex on the first try."
"-Hey, do you like water?"
"-Yes."
"-Then you like me in 70% already."
– azurskyy
Sneaky
"Would you date a complete stranger?"
"If she says “yes” you’re in."
If she says “no.”
“Then allow me to introduce myself.”"
– Blastspark01
Playing Coy
"Once a girl came to me and told there was somebody who thought I was cute."
"I asked her who and she said “Me.""
– evil_boy4life
Prop Lines
"You have to have a handful of limes available to do this:"
"Hold the limes, drop the limes in front of the lucky person. Then say 'Sorry, I'm not very good at pick up limes.'"
– cannibalcats
Egg-cellent
"Best one that worked for me was:"
"Me: How do you like your eggs?"
"Her: Over easy, why?"
"Me: Just making sure I have things right for when I make you breakfast in the morning."
– Radiant_Boss4342
The Best Line
"How you doin?"
– 2x4x93
"There was a time when this was the ONLY line you could use!"
– JohnsLong_Silver
That line would definitely work on me!
People Break Down Whether A Potential Partner's Politics Are A Dealbreaker
Twenty years ago, a question about politics and dating might have elicited very different answers.
But a large part of the United States seems to be getting more radicalized and more polarized.
While two decades ago most liberal versus conservative differences in the United States were about government size or spending, now it's about who has a right to exist or have body autonomy.
Reddit user duckmysick100 asked:
"How important are your partner’s political views to you? Is it a dealbreaker if they don’t align with your own?"
Who Cares?
"Politics? Don't really care. The way I see it is that fundamentally your partner needs to be your friend."
"I don't care what any of my friend's political beliefs are and I've gone years without even knowing the political beliefs of friends. I have friends who's political beliefs I strongly disagree with and I'm still friends with them."
"I don't care, because at the end of the day my friendships don't revolve around political action."
"Many might say I'm very privileged to be in a position where I can not care about my friends political beliefs, because it means generally speaking I believe there's unlikely to be political change that really affects me."
"I don't believe that, but maybe it's true. Maybe I am privileged in that regard."
"But y'know, that's a privilege I'll gratefully live with, because it means I can have more friends."
~ AtlasClone
"If my partner were any kind of extremist who hated other people based on the political infotainment they consume, that’s a deal breaker."
"If they’re the sort of person who refuses to be friends with or interact with people 'on the other team' that’s a dealbreaker."
"Politics just isn’t all that important to me."
"There’s nothing I can do to influence it and nothing anybody else can really do, so why waste my life making it my 'big interest'?"
"And there’s no chance in hell I could survive being married to somebody who makes politics the most important thing in their life."
~ Jawahhh
Not A Dealbreaker, But...
"You don't have to agree on every single issue, but you have to share a similar worldview and set of values."
"I assume there are couples who can be together regardless, but I can't imagine my significant other would see the world in a completely different light than me."
"Yeah, exactly. Politics would be like any other issue."
"If a woman in a relationship wanted four kids and the husband wanted two, you could work through that. Or land at a compromise. Or, hell, one or both changes their mind after the first kid or two. Nothing can prepare you for being a parent other than being a parent."
"Now, say the woman was dead set against ever having kids and the guy wanted as many kids as he could produce. Just two people with completely different worldviews."
~ 2020IsANightmare
"I think they don't have to be the SAME, but they can't be polar opposites."
~ murmeltearding
"It’s gotta be the same ballpark."
"If I’m center you gotta be center or moderate left/right. If I’m hard left you gotta be at least left of center."
"Hard left + hard right just ain’t it."
~ ClilloryHinton
"They can have a different idea than me on how to fix poverty (just an example) but they have to believe poverty is a problem."
"I need someone who lives in the same reality as me."
~ jackfaire
"Perfect way to describe it. My husband and I disagree about like, whether UBI is a good way to end poverty, but not whether ending poverty is a good goal."
~ coffeeclichehere
"Political views are based on core values and, in a relationship, are an element of what I qualify as 'compatibility'."
"So no, I can't be in a long term relationship with anyone who has drastically different viewpoints."
"Some small differences around the same edge are absolutely OK and, in a mature relationship, make for enriching conversations. But fundamentally different political views—no way."
~ SamaireB
"I can be in a relationship with someone with fundamentally different political views, but those views have to be rooted in reality and there are some dealbreakers."
"Like you believe in small government...OK, I'll argue but that's fine."
"You believe we should take children from immigrants as a disincentive to immigrate here? Yeah that's going to be a dealbreaker."
~ off_and_on_again
"We disagree on some details, especially because of our professions—I’m a nurse and he is a manager in manufacturing. But hearing each others’ viewpoints is helpful in staying balanced regarding the things we do disagree on."
"When it comes to human rights, though, we are completely on the same page."
"And I could not be in a relationship with someone who felt differently than me in that area. We have children, and it’s important to me that we are aligned with how we raise them."
~ Less_Tea2063
"I might support decriminalization of all drugs and creation of safe consumption sites."
"My partner might think that’s a little too far but believes the War on Drugs is poorly handled and more resources should be put toward treatment."
"That would be a-okay with me! We don’t need to be in lockstep, but clearly we’re both empathetic to addicts and think rehabilitation over punishment should be priority."
"If my partner thinks all addicts are lazy bums and they belong in jail or dead, well—we’re not going to be together long."
~ Rastiln
It's A Dealbreaker—Now
"I have a close family member who is married to someone with opposing political views, and frankly, I think it hurts their marriage."
"Obviously it's not their only issue, but it plays a role."
"Personally, I could never do it."
"Like other people have already said, it speaks to a person's core values."
~ padall
"Back before politics became batsh*t, maybe that wouldn't be as much of a problem."
"Now there is not a lot of common ground unless you're on the same side."
~ WouldYouPleaseKindly
"A Carter era Democrat and a Reagan era Republican could have at least some common ground."
"But that ship sailed thanks to Australian media tycoons and AM radio fear mongers."
~ Grabthars_Coping_Saw
"I have a friend whose husband came out strong for a certain presidential candidate simply because he rumored to be a great businessman. He refused to listen to any negative info like, say, how racist or sexist the guy was, because 'he’ll be great for the economy!'."
"My friend makes a point of carefully studying issues and candidates and she was certain there were dealbreakers about this presidential candidate for her husband if he would only take the time to learn. But he refused."
"He normally likes a good discussion so it was weird. She ended up on antidepressants because it really changed how she saw her spouse."
"January 6 opened his eyes a bit, but he still seems to be leaning a lot more to the right than she ever expected. And this suggests their values are moving father apart."
"It’s definitely taking a toll on their marriage."
"Believe me, she’s thinking hard. It’s tough because they’ve been together almost 40 years and it’s like suddenly she’s on Planet B."
~ JohnExcrement
"I have lost a lot of respect for people who, though seemly intelligent and thoughtful, supported the crazies in a certain political party."
"They are doing real damage to our society."
"Why would I want to date one?"
~ Zoneoftotal
"There is a certain political individual that if I found out my partner supported him, I honestly would feel the need for a breakup."
"Our core values would be so far apart that a relationship would be impossible."
"Most other politicians would cause me to groan or roll my eyes."
"This man served as a filter on dating apps. Anyone who liked this guy was an immediate skip."
~ TylerJWhit
It's Always Been A Dealbreaker
"It is extremely important. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t share my values."
"For example, when Covid hit, my spouse and I were 100% on the same page about how we would handle our safety, masks, vaccines etc... even though we had never discussed what we’d do in a global pandemic."
"But we agreed because we shared values."
"I watched many of my friends’ marriages struggle because the pandemic revealed their ideological differences."
"Politics are not theoretical. They affect your life in ways you can never anticipate."
~ Electrical-Spot863
"Some people seem to treat politics like sports, like it's separate from reality and doesn't really matter which 'team' you support."
"Getting along with someone despite supporting opposing sports teams, or having different tastes in music or movies, or whatever—that makes sense."
"The winner of an election, though, can have immense impact on what happens in the 'real world' when compared to who wins the Super Bowl / World Cup / Other Notable Sports Event."
~ DragoonDM
Only a handful of Redditors said politics was a non-issue.
But they also said they'd refuse to date anyone who thought politics were important in relationships or even friendships.
But the overwhelming majority felt political differences in the current climate would make a relationship a no-go.
What do you think?
People Reveal How Their Morbid Curiosity Screwed Them Over Big Time
Let's be honest: It's 2023, and times are pretty hard for most of us. We're all just out here, trying to do our best.
But while our instincts sometimes really save our butts, there are other times that our curiosity and impulses might get carried away.
In fact, they might get so carried away, we might find ourselves in some deep, deep trouble.
Redditor Mr_Manta asked:
"How has morbid curiosity screwed you over?"
A Troubling Find
"I found a human femur when I was a teenager and decided to take it home and hide it so I could inspect it."
"I was on exchange in Spain at the time. I didn’t know what to do with it after I brought it home, so like an id**t, I put it in my luggage five weeks later when I flew back home to my family."
"Airport security and I had really, really, really, really, really long talk."
"Edit: To answer all your questions, my friend and I had taken a walk to some cemetery in a roadside town. The population was 81. We thought the town had been abandoned, by the looks of it. We were dumb kids."
"We went to the cemetery and into some abandoned mausoleum. In it were So. Many. Bones. I grabbed a femur cause I was a 15-year-old who loved biology. I took it. That wasn’t cool."
- cowsmilk1994
What in the Pink Floyd...
"I Googled my estranged father's name and found out he died of an overdose, and they turned his cremains into a brick for a homeless memorial wall."
- Planet_Ziltoidia
Not a Smart Google Search
"I once Googled Jeffrey Dahmer's apartment. I wanted to see his furniture and stuff. That is NOT what I saw..."
- Efficient-Regular-96
Emergency Medical Technician Troubles
"I work as an EMT, a young EMT so obviously, I’m curious when someone says someone is dead."
"If you are a new EMT, don’t be curious; there isn’t anything good to see just major trauma."
- Individual-Estate758
Accidental Pepper Spray
"I thought this cool lighter was on a keychain, so I pressed the button. Turns out that cool lighter was pepper spray."
- copsdoesntstarttill4
The Horrors of Fire
"From the news: 'The Station nightclub fire occurred on the evening of February 20, 2003, at The Station, a nightclub and hard rock music venue in West Warwick, Rhode Island, United States, killing 100 people and injuring 230.' During a concert by the rock band Great White, a pyrotechnic display ignited flammable acoustic foam in the walls and ceilings surrounding the stage. Within six minutes, the entire building was engulfed in flames.'"
"There is a video shot by a cameraman from a local news outlet showing the start of the fire and approximately 13 minutes of heartbreak as the fire completely engulfed the building. As he circled the building he tried to open doors and call out to let people know that there was a way out, but the smoke was incredibly thick, and all you heard was screaming."
"The part that haunts me the most was the double doors at the front of the building, where people trying to escape were piled like wood in the doorway- one on top of another - people trying to free them couldn’t and eventually had to back off because of the fire. The video ends with the cameraman breaking down as emergency services finally arrived."
- Hot-Bandicoot8066
The Power of Electricity
"As a kid, I knew that you needed two wires for electricity to power an appliance. So I thought it would be a cool idea to let the electricity flow freely from one hole of a power outlet to the other, so I bent a wire in a U-shape and plugged it in."
"With my bare hands. At school, I believe in first grade. 220 Volt network. There was a flash, and I got thrown back, but thought nothing of it until some teachers came running and I got a lecture or two about safety."
- zedman_forever
A Recurring Mistake
"I found a memory card at work (retail). It sat on our desk for over two weeks. One day curiosity won and I stuck it in my phone."
"Memes, pics of family, and old man and old lady intimate parts."
"Then Google surprised me a few years later because it had uploaded them to my Google Drive."
- Itchy_Amphibian3883
Too Close to Home
"Finding out exactly where my dad died. He died in a car accident but I was never sure quite where it happened. I stupidly looked it up and found out it was right by where I lived and even drove past that exact spot plenty of times."
"Yeah, needless to say that did me way more psychological harm than good. I couldn’t handle it. Avoid that area at all costs. My husband got a job out of state and I was happy to move there just so I couldn’t be traumatized by living by that spot anymore."
- ZestyCloseTomato555
All Equal Deaths
"I killed a Rollie pollie when I was little and I still feel terrible about it."
- DoomSayerNih
Fair Enough
"Opening this thread and reading is officially at the top."
- Special_Lemon1487
Most of these entries were absolutely mortifying, and they remind us to be careful about what we're getting ourselves into, even if we're curious.
Otherwise, it can lead to terrible injuries if not terrible memories, which might even be worse, because they're so impossible to forget.
When the cat's away, the mice will play.
That scenario could apply to many situations, but it generally refers to an individual enjoying temporary freedom to do as they please in the absence of a foe or constant companion.
In romantic couplings, this may involve a spouse or significant other finally engaging in private activity that could be frowned upon in the presence of the other person.
Curious to hear examples, Redditor shaka_sulu asked:
"Married folks, what's a non-sexual thing you look forward doing at home only when your spouse is away?"
Some people are happy to take up extra space.
Spacious Parking
"Parking my car in the middle of the garage."
– starkpaella
"Genius answer. It always brings joy."
– Heynicejobtoday
Hush
"The quiet. My husband constantly has the TV on, even if he’s not watching, and I enjoy silence."
– 2workigo
"This. My wife lived alone for many years and always has the TV on, even uses the one in the bedroom as noise to fall asleep to. The first thing I do when she’s gone is make sure all the noisemakers are shut off around the house. Well, except the cats. They don’t have off buttons."
– jaybeeg
Bed Positions
"Sleeping on the diagonal."
– snogweasel
"When you're there, I sleep lengthwise And when you're gone I sleep diagonal in my bed."
– downvotingprofile
Quiet Viewing
"I had a day off work today. Husband was at work, kids at school, so after I did the school run I came home, wrapped myself in our softest heated blanket, lay on the sofa and watched 3 movies with no interruptions. It was bliss."
– PheonixKernow
These Redditors can finally revel in their respective indulgences when they finally have the place to themselves.
Taste In The Finer Things
"The wife is a picky eater. When she is away, I either make a meal that she doesn’t like or I go to a restaurant that she doesn’t care for."
"It’s the little things. 😂"
– aizzo4
All Mine
"I cook almost all the meals. Almost being that we occasionally get take out. When I have a day off and my husband is working and my kids are at school/daycare, I go get breakfast and Waffle House. By myself. I sit there and eat a waffle, two scrambled eggs and bacon and I DONT HAVE TO F'KING SHARE! My husband despises Waffle House, but f'k I love those waffles. My parents used to have a waffle iron that made the traditional style waffles with the tiny squares until the cord shorted out. I miss them."
– missag_2490
Cheers
"My wife is in recovery, six years sober, and I support her in every way possible including, obviously, no alcohol in the house. If she’s away for a few days, I’ll grill me some steak tacos and wash them down with a really good Cabernet."
– Tom__mm
"I’m a recovering addict and I think you’re a great husband."
– JLHuston
Screen Time
"Watching TV shows he'd never watch, on the big TV."
– sexrockandroll
"There isn't an ancient aliens, shows from the early 80s (chuck Norris and Jack klugman), or horror movies that he won't watch - pausing every 3 seconds in case I miss something - that WE have to watch. When he travels for work I relish the quiet. Even the weather channel is enjoyable."
"My love for my husband has no end but he has the stupidest taste in shows yet whines if I would rather deep clean the basement than deal with any of it."
"But I can only deep clean the basement so many times..."
– Big-Mine9790
To each his/her/their own.
The Organizer
"Deep cleaning and reorganizing. I know, I'm a real party."
– Dependent_Top_4425
"You are my people. The garage door is hardly down before I'm getting busy!"
"There is not one thing better in this whole world than having some alone time in my spotless house."
– Individual-Army811
Everything But The Kitchen Sink
"Hike all day, get the sh**ty chinese takeout that she hates and I love despite knowing full well it’s objectively not good, and drink some nice beer while watching movies all night."
– holographoc
Establishing Order
"Putting things down and having them still be there when I want them."
"Having a clean house that stays that way for more than 30 seconds. I love him, but he's just a whirlwind of plates and seltzer cans some days."
– Lyeta1_1
When my husband's away, I watch all the horror films that have been stacking up in the queues of my streaming platforms.
He has a weak stomach for gore and violence, so we often avoid home invasion movies or slasher flicks and instead stick to comedy, drama, or dramedies, and documentaries.
Which is all well and good.
But when I have the place all to myself, I bust out the wine and Doritos and watch the latest Halloween or Scream movies I've been missing out on.