I'd be lying if I said I've never lied.

I lie.

I try not to.

And lies have never really worked for me.

Anybody else?

Friends

"He was friends with the first guy who sold 10,000 Bitcoin for 1 pizza. Interesting thing was that we had many friends in common and I got to hear from each friend as the story evolved."

DragonRaccoon

BS!

"Her dad hired an assassin to kill her and her mother and was in jail. She mentioned a couple of weeks later that she was going to her dad's house for the weekend. She would point at ANYONE remotely attractive and say 'I've slept with them'."

"She tried to fake a phone call once pretending to talk to a boy she was seeing, so I called her phone and it rang while she was mid sentence."

"She stuttered in embarrassment and then said, 'you calling me must have cut my call off!' I told her to ring him back, and she refused. If you had fish and chips for dinner, then she had had shark and chips. She was absolutely relentless and we stopped being friends when I called her out on her BS."

qgwheurbwb1i

'And then what happened, Ricky?'

"I went to high school with a pathological liar that you could just nudge a tiny bit and he'd go off on these long, elaborate and impossible stories. You'd just say 'And then what happened, Ricky?' and he'd just keep going."

"The best one was when he supposedly got chased by a police helicopter through the woods while stashing an 18-pack of beer down his pants. He ended up outrunning the helicopter and because of it the police said 'You're cool' over the loudspeaker on the helicopter (that he said he had outran)."

post_angst

2 Blocks Away...

"A guy told me that he found an abandoned stable in his backyard that had living horses in it. I asked how/what the horses ate and he couldn't give me an answer. This would already be stupid enough, but we lived in the city, 2 blocks from each other."

krsh*t

47

"Guy was late to work 15min, said he's late because his friend got shot 47 times... I said i am so sorry to hear that, he said 'its ok, he's stable in the hospital.'"

Stoneless69

Do people hear themselves when they say these things?

I'm at a loss.

Issues galore

"I worked with a guy who had some issues. He got big into paracord bracelets and was always trying to sell them to people at work. He once told us he fell out of a tree hunting took his paracord bracelet off managed to tie his foot off to a branch while falling then hanging upside down immediately shot a deer."

Squantoon

The Surveyor

"I worked with a guy like this... every story was a lie. He told me he surveyed the football stadium in our town prior to its construction. I checked the dates... he was a qualified surveyor at 6 years old!"

"Then he told me his body chemistry was immune to acid. You could pour battery acid on him and it would not affect him. There were dozens of small ones and a few real big ones."

Otherwise_Bill_5898

Skip...

"I’ve got an acquaintance named Skip and every time I see him he’s got some kind of insane bull to tell me. Last time I saw him, he was telling me he was robbed at gunpoint while buying a trailer, so he pulled his personal carry firearm and shot the robber three times in the chest, protecting himself and his fiancé."

"The police 'cleared him on the spot and gave him his pistol back.'" We live in a tiny town, Skip. That didn’t happen. This conversation ended with him asking if I’d like to buy the f**king gun he lied about killing somebody with. F**k you Skip, you weird liar."

braindamnager

One Up

"Just that every single story anyone had to share he had a story to top that one. Got high score on a game? He got higher. Had an awesome vacation? His was better? Climbed a mountain? So did he… but without fear? Got into a bar fight? He once fought 4 dudes at once! It was like that every single time."

kenos99

Just One

"Had a college roommate claim he had an uncle on the Supreme Court. I asked him to name one Justice. Just one. Not like, which is your uncle. Just name any of them."

Oudeis16

“I’ve slept with them”

"A girl I knew did the whole 'I’ve slept with them.' As well expect the guy she said it to was my friend who is gay. Tried to double down and say she has absolutely slept with him and he was amazing blah blah blah. Makes me wonder why they lie about meaningless stuff when you can prove it’s fake."

Middle_Promise

The Neighbor Girl

"When we were 13 a classmate 'confided' in several of us girls that she had been attacked by a neighbor boy, but didn't want to tell her mom. I was horrified, and told MY mom, who called HER mom, who thanked us for calling, and then explained to us that her daughter was a pathological liar, currently in therapy, but that it wasn't going well. The weekend she claimed to have been attacked, they were all out of town. And there IS no neighbor boy."

the_littlest_blep

Slow Down

“I drove 320 mph in my millionaire friends super car when I was 14.”

DontShowMomMemes

‘when she was famous’

"My mom was a very heavy drug user and would make up all sorts of things. She told me she had a different name that she went by ‘when she was famous,' and would point out pictures of models and actresses that somewhat resembled her and tell me 'Look, that’s mommy!' But the worst lie by far was that she had a chronic illness and that her doctor prescribed her medication that she had to either snort or smoke that I couldn’t tell anyone about."

"She ended up accidentally burning our home down ‘baking donuts’ (meth lab) shortly after I moved in with my dad. I was smart enough after a while to know what she was doing and it was my dream to see her again and help her make things better. She died of a fentanyl overdose days before I was supposed to visit her."

Caramel_Cappucino

Drive Away

"That she used to be a bus driver before she worked in the shop I used to work at. A couple months later I found out she doesn't even have a driver's licence lol."

brandonmufc06

Bad Cover Up

"His fake tan was because he was born in Puerto Rico (he was born in rural England to white English parents). The fake tan would get very patchy, and that would be explained away by him saying he had a terrible skin disorder. One so bad his own skin could stain his clothing. The white shirts unbuttoned far too low for him to be considered a reasonable gentleman did not help to cover that up for him."

Ampanampanampan

Final Stages

"That he and his wife were in a loveless marriage, basically nothing more than roommates that had stayed together this long because of their kid. But they were now in the final stages of divorce. His wife was not aware of any of this."

hunstinx

"One of my (then recently-divorced) aunts went through this. Everything finally came to light when she met the guy's wife at the hospital... because the guy had been struck by lightning."

Schneetmacher

Little Ones

"The worst lies are actually the insignificant ones. The ones where they didn't need to lie but did just because. When they lie about important stuff, at least you can somewhat understand. When they like about meaningless crap, you realize you just can't trust them."

sonheungwin

Chaos

"He said tons of ridiculous crap, but the craziest was that his older brother (he said he has 18 brothers) is three months older than him. Not twins. Same moms. Separate pregnancies. He couldn’t explain it but told me they have a computer working on figuring out how it happened."

"Also he said he used to weigh 900 pounds. He hung his 100 inch waist size pants on the wall above his bed and every morning when he wakes up he stares at them and says 'never again.'"

ChalkDstTorture

Big Noter

"Thank God my mate got married (She just stops the stories when they become unbelievable), he was always trying to big note himself. I tried to nicely let him know that he 100% has me as a friend and doesn't need to impress me."

"- Went shark fishing on jetskis."

"- drove in reverse on the highway at night to see what speed it could do."

"- got his driver's license at 14 because he was that good they waved the age restriction."

Antmon666

I can't believe people sold those fibs with a straight face.

Just try the truth every so often.

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