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People Who Clean Houses Share The Weirdest Thing They Have Seen In Someone's Home

We've all seen Hoarders. We know that people have the potential to have the weirdest homes.

But we don't have to go into those places. We maintain a safe distance from them. Unfortunately, not everyone is as lucky to do so as we are.

The people who have braved these weird homes have stories to tell. We must listen.


u/Tmoses_ asked:

Dear Maids/Cleaners of Reddit, whats the weirdest thing you've seen in someone else's home?

Here were some of their answers.

It's Like A Murder Scene

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Not sure if being a junk hauler counts as a "cleaner" but we had about 5 truck teams consisting of the driver and navigator cleaning this woman's house (she was a hoarder) and we found a dead rat underneath mounds of moldy clothes and boxes on an unused bed. He had a ring of walnuts around him and little tufts of what appeared to be a blanket ripped to shreds that he was laying on. The rat of course was dead but he went out like a king. It reminded me of the book and movie The Rats of Nimh.

chemonik

Desperate Housewives But Like, Real

Work for a residential cleaning company for a few months. Me and one other person were cleaning a fairly wealthy family's home. Ring the door bell two young kids open the door look at us and run off. They knew us as we came to the house once a week. I take the upstairs other guy takes the main level. Hear the female homeowner yelling from her room to come look at something.

I walk into her bedroom find said home owner completely naked. It should be noted that she was mid 30's married and a very good looking fit woman. I immediately turn around and apologize profusely. Homeowner laughs and says it's ok I don't mind I needed you in here. Me confused talking through the door asks how I can help. She asked that I pick out clothes from her dresser and bring them to her (10 feet away I might add.)

(The only reason I didn't run away is that these people always tipped big and every encounter with them was always extremely odd.)

I gathered all her clothes bring them to her. She asks for my help getting dressed. I decline saying that I didn't feel that it was needed nor did I feel comfortable (I'm happily married) in the situation. She once again laughs and proceeds to stand up dress herself, hand me a $100 dollar bill, and go about the rest of the day like nothing happened.

I'm extremely confused, talked to my buddy about what had happened come to find out it had happened to him too. We started to ask other people that worked in the house before if they had experienced the same thing. After talking to a few people one guy said he banged her and when they were done the lady's husband came out of the closet. Turns out he's a major cuck and she just likes to bang. Also, we found out later they had always requested guys to clean and would not allow any of the female cleaners in the house.

freeblazewasteland

Talcum What

I had a summer job as an apartment maintenance worker. My cousin was the head maintenance man so I kinda just got hired to help. Im not that handy. But the office workers called us in one day and asked to accompany them to an apartment unit because the man who lived there was 2 weeks past rent and they weren't able to get into contact with him.

Mind you, this is an upscale building. The apartment we went into was like 3k a month. But we walk in after knocking and immediately notice a white powdery tint over mostly everything in his unit. Like all of the table surfaces and counters, the tv, the furniture, etc.

We looked into one of the rooms and we see hundreds of empty baby power bottles basically filling the whole room. The worst was the bathroom. It was caked over everything. We were all pretty creeped out and ended up leaving. The leasing staff investigated online and turns out it looked like this guy had an extreme baby powder fetish of some sort.

They ended up evicting him and hiring a professional cleaning service to come clean the whole unit. By far the weirdest thing I've ever seen.

JD_MCNUGENT

How Do People Live Like This

My dad and I have a junk hauling company and one job was the most disgusting jobs I've ever had. it was a chain smoker couple who got evicted. I was expecting is was going to be a small job so we got to this house and it stunk outside so bad I almost barfed multiple times. but when we went in it smelled like the inside of a landfill. But we had no choice so we went in and the fridge was dumped and it had a lot of meat and shattered jars all over the house. We found A lot of hypodermic needles, porn magazines and a sh*t load of cigarettes on the floor when me and my sister were working upstairs my dad went downstairs and these people grabbed a pipe wrench and broke all sewage lines flooding the basement.

kaelrockz101

Arrrgh, Me Booty

I was house/pet sitting and found a huge piratey looking treasure chest in the client's side yard. Massive wooden trunk, at least as big as a standard car boot, outside partially under a tarp and wrapped up in tape.

No idea what was in it, but I clearly watch way too many crime documentaries because to this day I still wonder if there was a dead body in there.

SoldMySoulForHairDye

I'd Rather Die, Honestly

Not a cleaner, but my mom briefly worked for a company that cleaned college dorms for use during the year. Surprisingly, most of the dorms weren't out of this world disgusting, some trash and a couple stains to scrub out, whatever. But one dorm in particular she said had literal human sh*t everywhere; the walls, the doors, the ceiling, EVERYWHERE. Hearts and smiley faces of all shades of brown were smeared into the otherwise crisp white walls. The fecal matter murals drove her over the edge, as she has a strong stomach, but she never worked for a cleaning service again after seeing that dorm.

bumblexi

Daddy Paid For This...Dearly

There was no news story or I would certainly site here... from what I remember the home owner when I was there got the house from her dad. I'm 90% sure that her dad had been missing for years and the police suspected that it was his goop and "remains" in the bathroom. I don't know much more than that because after I gave my statement and the police let my boss know what was going on I left.

Gimme A Break, Gimme A Break

Someone tried to shred Kit Kat wrappers. I now have a habit of manually cleaning the shredder to check for weird stuff.

good-evening-clarice

Likely a kid trying to hide evidence of their candy sneaking habits. I visited my sister a month or two after Halloween, and when we pulled out the sleeper sofa candy wrappers SHOWERED onto the floor. Immediately knew which my nieces it was lol

sativajoe

Popo With A Sock Fetish

Both my mother and sister sometimes clean houses for extra cash on the side.

My mom used to clean a younger (early 30s) cop's apartment. He was unfazed when she accidentally sent his iPad mini through the wash, but got really angry when he found out that she had done them same to his entire collection of crusty socks.

Baby_Chickens

Your Stomach WILL Turn

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Go to my first solo job working for the company. Homeowner isn't supposed to be home and they gave me the code to the garage. Walk into the house immediately hear and feel wet carpet. It was urine. Could hear a dog barking upstairs and decided the dog must have had an accident. Walk past the piss to a tile section of the house and see what looks like a murder scene. The kitchen is covered in what can only be described as goop of yellow and orange color. I decide I needed to investigate the rest of the house before I started working.

Look in the first bathroom covered in literal sh*t and a scum that can only be described as play dough mixed with motor oil. If that's not odd enough I keep hearing what seems to me a person moving around upstairs. Walk into the master bathroom and immediately knew I needed to leave. The floor was yellow and brown, the tub was covered in red, yellow, brown and green goop/film.

Boss comes by goes in house (thinking I'm overreacting) comes back out with a horrific look (same one I probably had) and calls the homeowner. Turns out the homeowner was home the entire time. My boss said we would not clean it they needed to call a hazmat team. Turns out hazmat team wouldn't clean the house either. Cops get called, Someone was murdered (years before) and the goop in the bathroom was human remains.

To say the least I didn't work for the cleaning company again after that day.

freeblazewasteland

Just like any dog! 

My old roommate worked for a cleaning company. He regularly cleaned a house belonging to a well known local politician. This guy apparently had a spot in his shower where he regularly peed. Literally an established pee-corner that was gross and stained and had urine buildup. Erdnuss19

Freeze! 

Found a gun one time. zenmia

Buffalo Bill? Is that you?

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A little hollow turtle filled with cut fingernails. UrthenAether

Nope. I came here to read about finding weird sex toys. Did not come here for this. I will still upvote but consider this a warning. ScottsTots2013

Too much #2....

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Diarrhea on the ceiling/walls/floor, turds under the bed and in the closet. BrigandsYouCanHandle

RIP Bugs.... 

A dead rabbit. It was their pet. It's was their daughters and she started crying so much that I had to clean the house again. Ohgod420

Child's Play

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Not a maid anymore, but I used to long ago. Strangest thing was a bathroom that had 3 foot tall clown dolls lining the upper part of the wall all the way around. sarajane82

I had my grandmother do this for me with porcelain dolls in my room. I loved it as a child but looking back it was creepy as hell. Woshambo

How Special?

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A cookie jar filled with eraser shavings. Febuarie

Maybe they were saving it for something special..? Tmoses

Got a Permit?

A taser. silliputti0907

At least it wasn't a coconut... Thalida87

This thread... I am not disappointed. No sex toys but really crazy storyies, way better than expected. Thalida87



Men Break Down The Weirdest Things Someone's Ever Said To Them After Sex

"Reddit user ella-es-julia asked: 'Men Break Down The Weirdest Things Someone's Ever Said To Them After Sex'"

People say the darndest things after -- and sometimes during -- lovemaking.

Maybe it's the euphoria.

Maybe it's the adrenaline.

Maybe it's the tequila.

It's always good to have a kind-hearted joke on hand or a generic compliment.

Or maybe just grab your belongings and skedaddle.

Redditor ella-es-julia wanted to hear about the craziest pillow talk stories, so they asked:

"Men of Reddit: What's the weirdest thing a girl said to you after sex?"

The weirdest I ever got was... "What city am I in again?"

Geography matters.

Morbid Much?

In Bed Home GIFGiphy

"Met girl, went on date, brought girl home, had the sex, finished the sex, laying there she says 'What would you do if I died right now?' and demanded an actual answer."

Vixxay

Meow

"Not to me, but as she walked over to the bathroom after the deed, she said 'I just did your owner' to my cat. Sexiest thing that ever happened to me."

shlanky369

"My Fiancé and I were about to start going at it when the cat appeared from under the bed and stared at me. I went, 'Babe the cat is here. I don't like how he's staring at my boobs."

"Fiancé grabbed the cat and yeeted him into the hallway with the phrase, 'Get out you weird pervert.'"

"The cat proceeded to (without his claws) smack the door over and over again while screaming for a few minutes straight. Pervert."

Trumpet6789

POP!

"'I need you to take me to the hospital. Something is now bleeding and hurts.'"

"Turns out her ovarian cyst popped. We're still together with the running joke of sex so good it put her in the ER."

DasBatt

"Ah ah ah, 2 hemorrhagic cysts ruptured, I was bleeding internally, but only a little bit. I'm still impressed by how quickly you went from a naked sex stupor to being ready and carrying me to the car. Good times."

"In the ER when they asked me what happened all I could do was shout 'we were f**kin!' through my tears. That memory still makes me laugh."

Straystar-626

Damn it's Good

"We were going at it for some time then her face went instantly from 'damn it's good' to full-on crying. I stop, ask her what's wrong and she tells me 'I can't cheat on my boyfriend, it is wrong.'"

"So this is when I learned that the girl that I met on a dating website and that I started seeing 3 weeks before and that she told me she was single had a boyfriend for over 5 years. Got her to talk more, and she told me she was on the dating website to see if there were guys better than her boyfriend so she could end up with someone better."

"This was like 20 years ago, a coworker I have right now knows her (his girlfriend is like a distant relative of hers) and I learned she had 5 different boyfriends since then, cheated on all of them except the last one (for now). She was also a cam model in secret, one of the boyfriends was a high-paying customer."

draftstone

A Binding Contract

"'Pleasure doing sex business with ya.' We then shook hands."

"Still together 5 years later!"

Tatarstan

It's nice when people who have great sex make great partners.

And it all starts with a handshake.

Sleep on It

“'I don’t usually say this but, yeah, you can stay.'"

lennyukdeejay

"Did you high-five after that? Seems like that statement called for it."

EvilNinjaX24

"This is the best one."

TomKhatacourtmayfind

Tiny Dancer

"Not really weird but I slept with this girl while backpacking Asia, she was also a backpacker. After a bit of chillin'/talking, I got up to get dressed, she looked at my flaccid manhood and said 'You're quite shy when you're not excited.' I thought it was hilarious."

fleetwoodsackk

"That's a much better way to put it. My wife, when we were just dating and had moved in together and eventually saw it flaccid just said 'Aww, it's so little.' Thanks, hun, exactly what every guy wants to hear."

striker180

Fine!

"She said 'If I get pregnant I'm keeping it.' I was dumbfounded and when I didn't respond quickly enough she got really agitated like I had hurt her feelings and yelled 'Fine! You don't have to be involved if you don't want to!'"

"We had just met that night. My condom use skyrocketed after that night."

Fullyme

"When I was a poverty-stricken college student I was banging a girl who said, 'If you get me pregnant I’ll take you for everything you own.' I said, 'All I own is my bicycle. You want that?'”

OrwellWasRight101

Amen

"Best weird compliment I ever got was 'Damn boy, you f**k like the Devil!'"

"I married her, we still goin' at it."

BeBearAwareOK

Well, these certainly created some lasting relationships... or hilarious tales to tell their friends.

Do you have any stories to share? Let us know in the comments below.

woman in black pants and red tank top
Jakayla Toney on Unsplash

Giving compliments is pretty easy, although most of us don't do it often enough.

Accepting compliments can be much harder.

Too many of us immediately shift into disclaimers to explain why we don't deserve the praise.

But we just need to say thank you—even if the compliment is a little odd.

Keep reading...Show less
Woman standing alone in the rain
Neal E. Johnson on Unsplash

We can all agree that, as fun as it's supposed to be, the dating scene can be really, really hard.

Here's the secret: as hard as the dating scene can be to navigate, some of the trouble lies with us. We may not to be able to find a long-term partner or a date at all because of something that we're doing.

But when a friend is in this situation, it can be really hard to tell them the brutal truth about their dating history.

Redditor teekzer asked:

"What is causing your friend to remain single that you don't have the heart to tell them?"

Chasing Deadends

"He keeps hanging on to the past and spending all his time hanging out with ex-girlfriends who are unavailable, or women who like him but he doesn’t romantically like."

- SqueakySnapdragon

Baby Talk

"I always wondered why she couldn't get a date because she is gorgeous until I saw her flirting with someone."

"The first night they met, flirted, and swapped numbers. Then, she was immediately clingy, talking in a baby voice to him, and making baby noises."

- robocop_robocop

Body Odor

"I can smell them. Everyone can smell them."

- not-read-gud

"You should find a way to tell them, it might hurt but they'll appreciate it."

- iciclesnbdayclothes

The Nice Guy Mindset

"He really is not as nice of a person as he thinks he is."

- Rusti3dp

"The ones who claim this rarely are."

- SummerOfMayhem

Impossible Standards

"The people they like aren’t real. They are idealized, cartoonish caricatures. Now my friend himself has a lot to offer in my opinion, but he is looking for a person who doesn’t exist. Hard to find something that’s not there."

- Sufficient-Spell9935

"I have a friend who started dating his flatmate after being really into her for a while, and then after a week or two said something like, 'Dating you doesn't feel as good as I thought it would,' TO HER."

"He basically torpedoed his own potential relationship because of his own ideal fantasy, and to be honest, I don't know if he actually realized he'd created an unrealistic standard in his own head."

"He's been single for the last decade, his mental health has only got worse in the time I've known him despite therapy, and I think he's probably so detached from 'appropriate dating behavior' at this point that he could be single for the rest of his life."

- fish993

Questionable Humor

"Brother-in-law, not friend. But he makes the same jokes about poop and farts all the time. Like, constantly."

"Yes, some women like potty humor, but they usually also want it to be funny."

"He is also very negative; finds insult or something wrong with any situation."

- EatYourCheckers

Living in Fantasy Land

"He lies to himself about almost everything. He lives in fantasy land."

"He thinks he's in the gym five days a week, eats great, climbs mountains, goes camping, and makes loads of money."

"In reality, he's at the pub five days a week, over eats like s??t, went on one hike in January, can't hold a job, and lives paycheck to paycheck..."

"If you were to confront him with this reality, it wouldn't even get through to him."

- Fit_Yogurtcloset_291

Mismatched Attraction

"The type of guys she claims she likes isn't what she's actually attracted to."

"She keeps saying how much she loves shy introverted sensitive guys but when she finds one and dates him suddenly, she's like, 'He's not outgoing enough, doesn't speak his mind enough, and is too shy!'"

"I kind of think she has this 'I can fix him' syndrome and doesn't really acknowledge it. Like, she's attracted to the idea of a typical shy guy but thinks once they're in a relationship they'll suddenly be more open and turn into the guy she actually wants. That's not how it works!"

- Disig

Poor Self-Esteem

"She is so lovely. So kind, so generous, and so beautiful. But her crippling lack of self-esteem is so huge, it's visible from space, and her anxiety (and I'm 99% sure her undiagnosed ADHD) means that when she's at all nervous, she talks at 100 miles an hour in several directions at once."

"It's like being handed eight happy Labrador puppies to try and hold in your arms. I so badly want her to be happy and feel fulfilled but even I find it tiring sometimes."

- butwhatsmyname

The Negative Attitude

"I have two of these."

"One is the most talented, smartest, wonderful person I know and I wish I could pull the gremlins out of their brain so they could be happy."

"The other is self-fulfilling proficiency f**king up their life. He's not unlovable, or ugly, or uncared for, but walking through the world expecting rejection at all turns and living in a fog of negativity is what makes him unattractive to be around."

"So-and-so isn't hotter than you, that's not the reason they're getting more friends and lovers, but they are more positive and interested than you, and people are attracted to that company."

- cool_username_iguess

Just Pure Arrogance

"For my husband’s friend, it’s the selfish arrogance. I want what I want, and the subtext was that he never cared about what his girlfriend wanted."

"He would only go places he wanted to go, which never included her friends or family. He wanted to spend all his money on 'collectibles' related to sci-fi movies, DVDs, figurines etc."

"Engagement rings were a waste of money, investing, or buying a house ditto, no compromises were possible, he said NO, and no discussions were entertained."

"His opinion on every topic was the correct one, and he was not interested in your opinion, or listening to extra facts he did not know that might change his mind."

"He was once young and good-looking, and he thought he could find someone else when she walked when he was 32. They had dated for close to a decade. During the relationship, he had started to stack on the weight and losing his hair and he was not able to find a replacement."

"Now he is 49 and hasn’t had a girlfriend since. He still has not bought a house and they cost double what they did when they were dating, and his rent has tripled. He does have a copy of all his favorite movies in every format: VHS, DVD, AND BlueRay, a whole bedroom is dedicated to storing them, if you can get in there. His house is a hoarder's paradise."

"He says the reason no one wants him is because he is fat and bald, and it does not help, but it’s not the major turnoff."

"As for his ex, I don't really know what happened to her. She left all of us behind when they broke up. I did hear she got married, but no updates after that. She is a sweetheart, I wish all the good things for her."

- vicki153

Impossible to Move Forward

"Summarizing two types of my single friends:"

"Super successful, smart, funny, and good-looking. They also tend to go for folks who leave them on read for days. Their insecurities are their worst enemies and I think are the biggest factor of them chasing after partners who don’t want to be partners."

"Other friends don’t know how to commit to anything, including a job. It almost feels like a 'it’ll happen when it happens' type of ideology and so they don’t even try to make things happen? They act like things will happen on their own? So they’ll meet a person and then that’s it. Meet cute dead in the water."

- thunderkitty_

Too Desperate

"Desperation. From laughing way too hard at mediocre jokes to bringing up marriage on the first date, she reeks of it."

"We have all tried talking to her about it to no avail. The sad thing is that if she was just her regular funny, smart, relaxed self, then men would be falling over themselves trying to get her number."

- Julia_Sugarbaker123

A Want List

"Her standards are excessively too high. She brings nothing to a relationship. She's a walking contradiction, all of which is why she is single."

"I think it's great to have standards and high standards but hers is just a checklist of wants."

- Theunpolitical

Height Insecurities

"He’s convinced women won’t like him because he’s short. I keep telling him I know plenty of guys just as short as him in great relationships, I’ve dated guys as short as him in the past. He just refuses to believe it."

- MichaSound

"I dated a guy who was four feet, nine inches, and I'm five feet, four inches. He had such an amazing strong personality that you never noticed his height."

"I did find kissing standing up weird; the motions are so different when it's swapped."

"The relationship ended for other reasons than his height."

- lonelyronin1

Alternatively, Open to Feedback

"I had a friend who finally did just ask. He came up to the girls in our group and just let us have an open conversation. I'm sure it was awkward and uncomfortable for him, but we gently laid out some issues. He cut his hair, got some new clothes, and (the big one) started therapy."

"A couple of years later, guess who's got a wife and a wonderful child?"

- Stars-in-the-night

It's so disheartening to see the people we care about unable to have something that they would find so fulfilling like a long-term relationship.

But it's even worse when the reasons behind it are things they could work on, if we only had the guts to tell them or if they were open to hearing it.