People Who Grew Up In The City Share Things Every Country Kid Should Know

As someone who was born in the hustle and bustle of Manhattan but moved to Florida where everything is slow and gator-ish, this Reddit thread struck a chord.
If you're not ready for it, the culture shock between city life and country life can come at you faster than an angry bull—or a cab driver trying to make the light.
Reddit user Mission_Ambitious asked:
"Redditors that grew up/live in the city, what’s something every country kid should know?"
So to prevent all you country folk from getting scammed, murdered, or experiencing the horrors of "the empty subway car"—here's a handy little list of things you should know if you're going to spend time in a big city.
Learn it. Love it. Live it.
DO NOT GO IN THE EMPTY CAR.
Look Like You Know
"If you look like you know where you're going, you're less likely to be bothered."
- rectoplasmus
"Also a lot less likely to be robbed. Walk with intent"
- cheeseburgerwaffles
"Best advice in here. I never smile or anything in public either."
"Look like you know where you’re going and look pissed off and won’t no one talk to you or give a second look. Wander around smiling and aimless you’ll be a target."
- koolaidistheshit
The Liquor Scam
"Sidewalks are for walking. If you have to stop to check your phone to make sure you’re going the right way, step to the side."
"Also — if someone bumps into you with a bag full of liquor and drops it, it’s a scam. Keep walking — no matter what they say. The bottles are either empty or already broken."
"Dude bumps into you, drops the bag, makes a scene, and says you owe him money."
"It happened to me three times — twice with the same guy in the same week. Just kept walking every time. They’ll yell and scream but they’re not gonna run you down if there are people around."
"Plus, everyone else knows it’s the oldest scam out there."
- guiltyofnothing
Escalator Etiquette
"If you're taking the escalators, especially in or out of a train station, and plan on standing instead of walking, stand to the right."
"If you need to rush to your train, the left side of the escalators should be left clear for you to walk on."
- Court_Vision
"Also, for the love of God, when you get to the end of the escalator and need to figure out where to go GET THE F*CK OUT OF THE WAY!"
"People behind you are still moving via the mechanical stairs. They don't stop just cause you don't know which way to go."
"This goes for all people not just those from the country."
- pshwsh
"And for the love of all things, if you are standing on a narrow escalator and a train is coming, even if it is not YOUR train, start f*cking moving!"
"The number of times I've missed a train because some able-bodied idiots wanted to treat the escalator like a f*cking amusement park ride..."
- Ultraviolet_Spacecat
The Empty Car
"If the subway train rolls up and has an empty car, DO NOT GET ON THAT SUBWAY CAR."
"It's not empty for maintenance reasons, I promise."
- decitertiember
"I lived in NYC and commuted on the subway for 3 years so should've known better when I visited and got on the emptiest car of a train of full cars."
"The second I got on I look right and see everyone huddled together, I look left and see a dude alone on the seats picking at his nasty ass feet. Then the smell hit me like a brick wall and the doors shut behind me."
"It was among the top 10 worst things I've ever smelled."
- cheeseburgerwaffles
"When covid struck and I was still working in a far uptown ICU in Manhattan - most of the subway cars were empty at 7am for the first time I'd ever seen. I quickly got used to boarding empty subway cars and paid it no attention, had more than enough on my mind already."
"Welp April 2020 I was reading a book minding my own business, but I had not looked around the car when I boarded the train. I got that weird 'someone is looking at me' feeling and decided to take a glance around."
"Quickly realized a naked man was blowing another naked man - both staring at me, smoking a pipe, but also not stopping the oral session."
"It was an express train too, so I got stuck in the same car for 10 minutes or so. Hopped out at the next stop and had a little laugh about it."
- caitypurry
Hi!
"Don't start conversations with strangers, especially if they have headphones on. You don't need to say hi to people all the time."
- Revolutionary-Yak-47
"Saying 'Hello' to everyone you pass is a small town tradition that does not translate to city life. Stop it!"
- Chucks_u_Farley
"This is consistently the thing I hear from people from rural areas that was actual culture shock. In small towns you say hi to everyone you cross."
"Here, you try your best to look mean, don't talk to anyone, and for your own health, don't make eye-contact with crazies on the subway."
"Anyone I met from rural areas had already been in the city for a while so I never saw it first hand, but have heard stories of people trying to say hello to everyone and being completely overwhelmed by the number of people. Also being dejected because they were largely ignored."
- the_loneliest_noodle
"This. People in big cities value whatever time we have to ourselves. It's polite to mind your own business."
"That said, most people are happy to help if you genuinely need directions or something."
- Respect4All_512
Manners Don't Matter
"Learn how to say 'f*ck off' in the most menacing voice you have, to anyone, without shame or fear. Even if 'be polite' was drilled into you from childhood."
"Trust me, this one skill can save a lot of hassles."
- Quick_Masterpiece_58
"Good manners are not more important than your safety."
- payattention007
"Oh man. As a Texan this one hurts my soul."
"I know I should ignore panhandlers and methheads and scammers and other similar people, but it hurts."
"I was taught to be polite to everyone, and having a pleasant conversation with some random stranger is a common occurrence."
- ChipTheOcelot
"If it helps your sensibilities, I've found that a firm 'no, thank you' usually works just as well."
"You have to get the tone just right, though – and, most importantly, don't ever break stride."
- konay
"Ah yep that attitude helped me out in Rome."
"A group of guys (10+) swarmed my wife and I near a tourist spot, and I made a bit of a scene and got aggressive in telling them to f*ck off. They did once they realized we were attracting attention."
- Zip_Silver
Mind Your Business
"Mind your own business."
"Definitely don’t look at, make eye contact with , laugh at (I had an out-of-towner do this), point at, or otherwise acknowledge anyone who is acting crazy, loud or aggressive. Just mind your own business."
- _etcetera_etcetera
"I got into a fight with my partner about this!"
"Some guys were smoking something on the sidewalk and he turned to stare. The guy threatened to fight him."
"I told him he can’t do that / you can’t stare at people in the city, especially doing something borderline illegal, or we’re going to end up in some dumb fight or some nonsense."
"His small city southern ass did not understand this."
- Adeline299
Go Before You Go
"Make sure to use the restroom before you leave (home, work, the restaurant, etc)."
"Not many places have a free to use restroom. Sometimes they force you to buy something and public restrooms are usually a place you want to avoid."
- octopusfairy
"Oh my god yes, thiiiiisssss!!!"
"As someone with a small bladder who pees frequently, being in the city can be a real pain. Convenience stores are hardly anywhere and if there is one, the restroom isn’t public!"
"I have bought so many things just to be able to relieve myself. I have to keep 'pee money' on me!"
- I_Did_The_Thing
Treat Walking Like Driving
"Your casual stroll through the city is my commute."
"Imagine if there were cars on your crowded highways just casually wandering between lanes going under the speed limit and randomly stopping to take a picture of something. It would drive you nuts!"
"That's our reality when you walk in the middle of the sidewalk, or just dead stop to check something. Just like driving, step to the side of the sidewalk if you need to stop/slow down."
- robxburninator
"Basically if a New Yorker says 'Hey I’m walking here!!!' It’s not some haha stereotype moment. Dude actually has a point."
- deaf_musiclover
Gun Culture
"I am never going to see guns the same way you do."
"I can't count on my fingers and toes the amount of classmates I had who died of gun violence before or after our graduation years."
"Seeing people with guns walking around the neighborhood isn't a securing feeling. Having bullet holes in your living room walls is not reassuring."
"Having bullets wiz past your head as you stroll around a busy shopping area isn't fun. There is no safety in seeing them."
"Experiencing all these things does NOT make me want one for my safety. Trying to explain this to my roommates who grew up in rural areas is like talking to a wall."
"Though I'm sure it's the same for them. They grew up playing with guns, they always had them around, see them on people's hips, rarely if ever met anyone to die of senseless gun violence so its null for them."
"They just can't understand the wildly different roles guns played in our cultures."
- BradypusGuts
Walk It Out
"Living in the city can be healthier insofar as you walk a lot."
"Even if you take the train or bus, you have to walk to the station from your place, in all kinds of weather. Up and down stairs. Sometimes you have a destination really far from any station."
"In the suburbs/countryside, people often walk about 50 feet to their cars no matter what their destination."
"I think this is why people are so overweight these days."
- soulcaptain
A Time Change
"Just because it only takes a few minutes to go a few miles down a country road, doesn't mean it only takes a few minutes to go a few miles in a city/surrounding metro area."
"Always check Google maps or Waze and then add extra time for travel if you're driving, especially during rush hour and if there's a huge event."
"It's better to leave a little early and wait a bit than to stress about being late."
- [reddit]
Lunch On The Steps
"I see tourists eating their lunch in Downtown Portland at the Pioneer Courthouse Square- sitting on concrete blocks and the brick stairs."
"Little do they know, those are all absolutely covered in bum piss and sh*t."
"Don't EVER touch a surface in the city without using some sort of hand sanitizer or washing your hands- it absolutely blows my mind that people find it so appetizing, yet there is vomit literally feet from them."
- westcoastpizzarat
If You Have To Drive
"If you have to drive, you basically need to learn how to be a bully on the road."
"You're going to have to cut people off as nobody is going to give you room to lane change. Learn to have 360-degree vision, because people will do the same to you."
"Parking sucks; learn to read the signs so you know when and where you can actually park, or if the spot is metered. Expect to park a few blocks from your destination."
"Don't keep anything of value visible in your car, this gives criminals incentive to break in and steal it."
"Watch out on major roadways during peak traffic, as homeless people will tend to flock on the road and panhandle."
"Always pay attention at traffic lights, and be prepared to put your foot on the gas as soon as the light turns green, otherwise, horns start blaring."
- draiman
City People
"I grew up in a pretty integrated neighborhood where at least a third of my neighbors were different races than me."
"Most of my relatives who lived in more rural and suburban areas had a hard time understanding that I felt like I had a lot more in common with the black kid who lived next door to me than I ever had with them."
"I figure that deep down most people from cities, regardless of race, feel the same way. And we carry that around forever."
- PunchBeard
Country Roads
"Coming from someone who has spent a good amount of his life living in both the city and the country, learning the road system is definitely important."
"Usually living out in the country, you’ll probably only rely on one major highway that takes you to and from town."
"In the city though, it’s definitely a must to know the main highways, exits, and interstates, and important landmarks they lead to."
- bryce_crane
Locks Are A Thing For A Reason
"LOCK YOUR DOORS! All of them."
"You bring your car into the city, lock your doors. You move into the city to try out the life. Lock your house."
"I knew a couple that lived in Alabama their entire life and their truck got stolen the week they moved to Denver cause they left their keys in the truck and left it unlocked. This is a big no no."
- earthlover6312
Baggage
"Invest in a small cross-body bag (they're like fanny packs, but not meant to be worn on the waist, or just wear a fanny pack across your body)."
"Keep all your important things in it, and on the front of your body. Pants pockets are easy to steal from, not so much a zipped bag 6' under your face."
"Plus, it's a trend nowadays so you won't look very out of place."
- SeductiveSoup
The Bubble
"There are plenty of kind, caring, and helpful people in cities."
"But being 100% trusting, talking to anyone that crosses your path, and believing every person has good intentions will get you robbed, raped, or killed."
"I get genuinely worried for Mormon missionaries and tourists from the Midwest sometimes. There's a difference between being friendly, and living in a child-like bubble of naiveté."
- skootch_ginalola
You've read what Reddit has to say, now it's your turn.
What would you add to this list of things country folk need to know before embarking on a city adventure?
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- People Explain What Their Hometown Is Most Famous For - George ... ›
- People Who Live In The Country Describe The Things 'City Folk' Will ... ›
And there are just as many grievances for which we are not at all sorry.
Curious to hear about people's track record of their questionable behavior, Redditor NanoPKx asked:
"What is something bad you have done with no regrets?"
Is it petty theft or flat out stealing? You decide.
The Parting Gift
"'Forgetting' to bring back a company ipad after they forgot about me having it. Actually they never asked for it back so I still have it and use it."
– Koetjeka
Furry Companion
"I stole a barn kitten while delivering packages for FedEx. He kept climbing my legs and getting into the van, sitting under the wheel when I tried to back out (it was a steep driveway, no way to swing the van around). I called the number on the package, looked the name up on facebook, called the local non-emergency to get contact info, all failed."
"So I took him. Now, if you're not from a rural environment, you might not understand that barn cats like that are 'no-man's-cats.' For all the owners know, he got sick or got got by a coyote. And he would have died, because when we got him to the vet he had a nasty upper resp infection and some other nasties."
"Now, one deformed nasal passage and the cutest snore later, we have a bonkers little orange cat with the heaviest penchant for snuggling I've ever seen (his name is Monty btw)."
"Edit: I forgot to pay my Cat Tax: https://imgur.com/a/HIXS4us"
"Edit Part 2: Monty loves the attention. Thank you for loving him as much as we do :3"
"MmmmMMMMRrrrrrrrrrrAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW" -Montgomerey Valentine, 2022
– SonOfSkinDealer
The Dirty Treat
"A housemate of mine kept eating mine and my girlfriends food and even though I asked him to stop the only thing he would ever say is 'I thought it was mine' then keep eating it."
"Well I bought my girlfriend some ice cream she really enjoys and she put the half she didn’t finish back in the freezer. Well when she want to get the rest it was gone and it made me madder than I think it probably should have."
"The very next time I saw him and somehow keeping a straight apologetic face I told him how he accidentally ate our sex ice cream and that bits of it had been on our parts etc. I told him I felt guilty not to tell him and that I had to apologise for him to eat such a thing."
"I will never forget the face he made when I told him. A face of pure self disgust and shock to which all he had to say was 'I wish you never told me that' and proceeded to move out around a month later."
"Although he didn’t actually eat sex ice cream, like why the f'k would you put it back after use anyway? Sometimes I wonder if I went to far but in that moment I just did not care at all. He still doesn’t know it isn’t true and I’ll probably never see him again."
"F'k you Vitas buy your own food."
– SpicyDolphin74
Vengeance is sweet.
Payback Time
"A drunk driver hit my parked car, left a huge dent in the front driver’s side door, and then drove away. I happened to be looking out the window at the time and saw the whole thing, including his plate number. Cops got there not long after and took my statement. After a couple days and a couple phone calls, I found out nothing was going to come of it because he was the son of the sheriff the next county over."
"Fast forward a couple months, I see his car parked behind a local bar within walking distance of my apartment. I got out my hunting knife and sliced all four of his tires, and made a couple trips around it destroying the paint job. Yellow Pontiac Sunfire, and I still remember the goddamn plate number even after almost 20 years."
– IgnoreMe304
For The People
"I was a GM for a retailer that was going out of business. During the liquidation I let my employees that worked until the end store product they wanted to buy in a closet I claimed I didn't have a key to. Oh the final days I sold them all the items they requested for 95% off. 70" tvs, ipads, gaming laptops whatever they requested."
– Midnights606
Surreptitious Swap
"Years ago I worked for a wealthy dude who was married to someone semi-famous. He would waltz in every morning and talk about the fantastic dinner he had the night before, how he hung out with some other famous person or whatever else."
"He paid me peanuts. I had a hard time making ends meet."
"I was the office assistant and IT guy. So it comes time to get a new computer for one of the designers. I spec something out, and show it to him. It was a ripper of a machine for the time (early 2000s). But it wasn’t expensive enough for bossman."
"So I added a really high end graphics card. Boss was happy then. The card added nothing for the designer: they only did illustrator and photoshop."
"So I came in that weekend and swapped the graphics card for my aging one from home."
"No one ever knew. Or cared. And I got a new graphics card."
– Dudeinairport
When times are tough, people had to do what it took to survive.
T.P. Crisis
"In college I was so poor I would steal toilet paper from the supply closet in our major building."
– Business_Loquat5658
Hungry College Buddy
"I stood watch for a college friend who was going hungry because he’d been disowned and his roommates had made living with him intolerable after he came out."
"I was loosely affiliated with an off campus program with local churches that gave free student dinners on Thursdays. We would go to church to eat, then bring dishes into the kitchen."
"Anyway, he would go in there and steal stuff like peanut butter, literal bread (not an allegory), granola bars etc. while I watched out for the pastor."
"Eventually we both got caught, the pastor for the college students got a bit mad because he was responsible for us while we were there to eat. And I think it was offensive on some level to steal from church. But then he saw what my friend was taking, and asked him if he had enough to eat. My friend shamefacedly said no, not usually."
“'Okay, fine. Put the food back, and come with me.' Took my friend grocery shopping instead, got him connected with the food pantry and community garden at church instead."
– SchnarchendeSchwein
Based on these examples, people didn't twice about their actions in the heat of the moment.
Within reason, we all gotta somehow get by.
But do you think their actions deserve punishment?
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When a person sees someone they care about going through a struggle or crisis, their instinct is to uplift them with positive advice.
But sometimes, the wisdom imparted by friends isn't always helpful or relevant to the situation.
Curious to hear from strangers online who could do without specific knowledge, Redditor Saibotnl1 asked:
"What life advice can just f'k off?"

These Redditors have a problem with how certain people have on outlook on life.
Time To Rest
"Sleep when you’re dead."
"Cool, but you’re going to be dead a lot sooner."
– Tag2graff
Irrelevant Sadness
"People have it so much worse than you so don’t be sad!"
– notrachelmar
"To that I like to say, 'people have it so much better than you so don't be happy!'"
– ___jupiter____
Your Life Path
"Almost anything relating to what age you must be in order to buy a house, have children, marry, have a profession, or do anything else. Seriously, everyone's life is different from everyone else's. Make your life the way you want it to be. If you so desire. Up to you."
– Frn071
On The Contrary
“Cheaters never prosper”
"Yes, they f'king do."
– waqasnaseem07
People can get out of any situation they find displeasing.
But others feel people should just "stick it out."
Ignoring Bullies
"Just ignore bullys or get someone else to handle it for you. I have never seen this work, only makes it worse. The only effective way I've seen to deal with them is by not making yourself an easy target and make them scared to f'k with you again. If going psycho on their a** is the only thing they'll respond to that's their fault. Also want to add in schools they will punish you for self defense but that punishment is only sitting around a few hours in detention or sitting around at home with a suspension. The punishment is temporary boredom, it's absolutely nothing compared to being bullied and when it's over the important message will still stand that you will not tolerate being a victim."
– User Delted
Remain to be Miserable
"Stick it out"
"Whether that's sh**ty jobs, shi**y relationships, shi**y living situations..."
"By all means don't just give up on things when you face challenges, but if something feels wrong or is wrecking your peace then take some control and change it if you can!"
– petitezoey
"Easy for you to say," might be an auto-response to these suggestions for many people.
Invitation For Recklesslessness
"Live like everyday was your last"
Yall know what people do when they learn they have a single day left to live?"
– LimeGrass619
A Possible Consequence
"I did that as a teenager and ended up homeless and addicted to heroin. Didn’t pan out for me too well."
"19 years sober though today."
– Open-Section-7263
A Practical Approach
"If I knew with certainty that I had one day left, I'd double-check all my financials, my will, and my insurance policies, make sure my wife had all of my passwords and knew where all the money was, spend the rest of the day with her and the kids, then call the medical examiner and ask to lie down on the gurney so that when I die they won't strain their back moving my remains out of my house."
– Asteriad
Nose Stuck In A Book
"Work while they sleep. Study while they party"
"That's not a recipe for success, that's a recipe for a lot of white hairs, burnout syndrome and a stroke before your 40s..."
– Khomuna
Doesn't Apply To Everyone
"Do what you love and money will follow"
"I love walking my dogs and grilling food for my friends but That sh*t doesn't pay the bills as well as my engineering degree!"
– Elons_android
While people's intentions are good, they're better off keeping their two cents in their own pockets.
Not everyone likes to hear platitudes.
Sometimes, people just want to know they're not alone with their problems over listening to unlikely solutions that are nothing more than superficial pick-me-ups.
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Kids start going to school from the age of five, and for the most part, they spend more time at school than at home. Because of that, teachers can become very important figures in the lives of their students.
Some students don't have the best home lives. Some keep it to themselves, but others confide in their teachers.
Curious about various situations, Redditor Delicious_Mastodon83 asked:
"teachers of reddit what is the saddest thing you found out about a student?"
In Need of Parents
"Not a teacher but was a school-based therapist. Had a student (7 -8 y/o) I didn’t know knock on my office door and ask if I’d adopt her and “if you have room, my brother too, but if not, that’s ok, we can be split up. We’re split up now. And I don’t take up space. I just need a sleeping bag”. Broke my heart."
– secretkpr
Heartbreaking, But Industrious
"My mom taught at a school in a bad neighborhood in Chicago in the mid 90’s. There was a second grader that would save his milk and ketchup packers from lunch for his mom so she had something to eat when she got home from work."
– PowerstrokeMe
Big-Hearted Mom
"Not a teacher but a parent with a 9 year old son. Every day I pack extra in my sons lunch because he tells me he has a friend that never has anything to eat. It's winter and my son came home and told me his friend was turning up with shorts and shirt and holes in his shoes. So I sent in a jumper and long pants for him to wear and some slightly used but good condition shoes. I have been up to the school recently and the teacher pulled me aside and thanked me profusely for helping this child. Apparently teachers are not allowed to aid kids they teach here in Australia and they have already reported the issue 3 times to child welfare without results so I was the only one helping this child. The teacher told me before I started sending in more food and clothes, this child would steal others food from their lunches and look through the bins because he was so hungry. They doubt he gets fed at home. So now I make sure to always send an extra lunch and some school clothes/supplies when I can. I can only hope child welfare eventually does something but it breaks my heart."
– spetzie55
Amazing Big Sister
"It was right after winter break and before class started I was just talking with some students and asked if they got anything fun for the holidays. One girl said on no, I don’t ever get presents, my mom is a drug addict. But I went out and got some stuff for my little sister so that she can have a real Christmas."
"She just said it so matter-of-fact. She was so used to being the parent to her little sister that she didn’t even care about her own childhood. It totally broke my heart."
– tonydanzascaulk
The Importance Of Human Affection
"Second hand story from my mom, elementary teacher for 30ish years. She had a hug or a handshake out the door policy, just some small contact and a proper goodbye, and had this young boy who always picked the hug. She wondered why he always went for it, most kids would go back and forth depending on their mood that day, so she asked him why he was always so excited for the end of day hug? His answer, "It's the only one I ever get.""
– needsawholecroissant
Coming Out The Other Side
"Two teenage boys (16/14) with learning disabilities were on my caseload, they never missed school but often ditched class. They were homeless mid-year after they went home from school to find the locks changed, their Mom had abandoned them for a new boyfriend. She didn't leave an address for them to find her."
"*Edit: both eventually dropped out, however a couple of years later the younger brother came back to visit. He and his brother were both working construction, and his brother had gotten married, had a child, and was living with his wife’s family."
"The younger had roommates and was saving for a car. He told me it was a shame I didn’t have kids, because I would make a good Dad."
"People often persevere, even with the odds stacked against them."
– Kursch50
True Parentification
"Not me but my daughter is a teacher, she has lots of stories but one that stands out for me is one of her kindergarten kids saying she was tired and her asking why, the little girl explained that she had been up all night with her mums newborn baby. She did this every night, fed her bottles and everything."
– lb47513343
Luckily, He Was Resilient
"This year I had a 17 year old kid enroll at my school. He was sitting in my math class and I could tell he was struggling. After class I took some extra time to go over a concept with him. I asked him to read the question to me, and he sat there silently. He then looked at me and said “I’m not going to lie to you, I cannot read. I have no idea how to say these words""
"Turned out at age 17 he was illiterate and had been kept out of school by his very religious, controlling parents. Over the past few months he has worked very hard! Now he can finally read at an 8th grade level and he is STILL improving!!"
– User Deleted
A Heroic Teacher
"I worked in an inner city charter school. One of my students (`M10) had a sib (M8) in a lower grade. The mom was there every day in the beginning of the year encouraging them, helping them and generally being very supportive... until a CPS agent spoke to me asking about her behavior. After CPS left things went downhill. The boys showed up late to class even though they lived a half block away from school. When in school both boys were tired from sleeping in the car while their mom "went fishing". She also had two very young girls which she dragged around making the boys take care of them. One day the boys didn't show up and their teacher walked over to the house to find the mom had loaded up the fridge, paid the rent for the month and abandoned them. The teacher (a candidate for sainthood btw) took them in, adopted them and grew them up to be great men."
– mopedarmy
This is really heartbreaking stuff! Luckily, teachers aren't just another adult in your life; they can be your saving grace as well.
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TRIGGER WARNING: This article contains sensitive content about depression and mental health.
As the stigma around mental health lessens (however slowly), people are more forthcoming about the problems they are facing. One of the most common mental health issues is depression.
Depression can affect many different types of people. Factors such as gender, race, nationality, and even age have no bearing on whether someone suffers from depression or not.
According to the World Health Organization (WHO), globally, "...an estimated 3.8% of the population affected, including 5.0% among adults and 5.7% among adults older than 60 years..."
Depression displays in certain patterns, such as mood changes, physical difficulties, and social isolation. However, depression manifests differently in different people and feels different to different people.
Reddit users divulged what depression felt like to them when Redditor iodineseaspray asked:
"What does depression feel like to you?"
Some of this is sure to sound familiar.
The Worst Kind Of Boredom
"Like being more bored than you could imagine but also not wanting to do anything at all, even breathe. So you want to do something, but you can't imagine anything that you would like to do so you're just sort of stuck."
– BuddhistSlater
"So you then spend literally hours staring at a blank wall hating yourself, your life, and everything around you. Well, as much hate as you can summon in the absolutely mentally numb state you find yourself sat in day after day."
– merryman1
Lack Of Motivation and Energy
"Complete lack of motivation."
"Ignoring people that I love, and who are trying to help."
"Just sh*t"
– HatFromStraw
"I feel it extra at work. Letting things slide until you either get into trouble or trying last minute to prevent it."
"Funny those times when I'm working to save my butt, the depression goes away and i feel super focused and motivated."
"I try to carry that energy over but no, it's rinse and repeat."
– ExtraBitterSpecial
Powerful Insecurity
"Insecure about absolutely everything, no hope for the future, dissociation from society and not knowing how to “act” anymore, feeling like I’m not as good at the things I always thought I was good at or that the “talent is wasted on me”, only food cheers me up and sometimes even that doesn’t work"
– tenamonth
Loss Of Creativity
"This. It's like some numb fuzziness you feel in your brain. It's the worst thing ever for an artist who just wants to create but your brain comes up dry with a dense fog that wants to just lie down for a few hours"
– FinnProtoyeen
A Mental Inability To Breathe
"For me, it feels like I’m in a lake with a ball chain tied to my feet, desperately swimming up for air, the only problem is the chain isn’t long enough. I can only get an inch of my head out of the water to breath, and as soon as a high tide comes, the water just floods over me and I feel like I can’t breath again. I live like this, constantly feeling like I’m struggling to breathe, weighed down by my own mind. It’s a struggle and I can’t really describe it in any other way, I’m jealous of people who don’t worry about depression"
– DrowningInBrokeness
"Like suffocating under a heavy cloak"
– kmartfreak
"Like being crushed. Like if the air was crushing my muscles and bones and I can’t breathe because I’m being crushed…"
"Kinda like that."
– Afreshnewsketckbook
Listlessness
"Scrolling thru your steam library. Thinking you want to play something, either not settling on anything or not wanting to put the effort into the game. Going back to the scrolling."
– Aistadar
"It feels like you're forced to play a game of Monopoly (represents life) and your just rolling the dice to appease everyone but you genuinely don't care about where you go, where you land, what you pick up, what you pay, what you gain."
"You kind of just watch it happen without interest and while people are cheering or oh no-ing for you, you genuinely don't care. Everyone is a piece on this board that hardly matters and you feel like we're all just running in a circle over and over again and it's boring and disinteresting as hell."
"You lose all curiosity for everything and just let everything happen and pass by you. No motivation, hardly any love, hardly any care. Feels like the world is in black and white and your waiting for the game to end became it's so absolutely boring and disinteresting, but it never does."
"You come to resent the game and eventually hate it because it feels like you're being forced to play it and suffer it's consequences when you never asked to play it in the first place."
"That's what depression felt like for me. Since then I've been medicated and recieved therapy. I'm doing a lot better now and I don't feel this way anymore, thankfully."
- KnlghtLlghts
A Relation To Fantasy
"You know that scene in the Lord of the Rings where Bilbo is describing to Galndalf what having the Ring all those years felt like? "I feel thin. Like too much jam spread over too much bread." That's honestly the best way I've seen to describe it."
– Electrical_Age_336
"I always say the closest thing to compare it to is a dementor in harry potter. It sucks every ounce of happiness out of you until there is only darkness left."
"Side note: chocolate always helps"
– sunfacer
Fear Of Lack Of Justification
"Like someone close to you died yesterday. Expect no one has, and nothing has happened to justify how you feel."
– AlterEdward
A Physical Pain
"Physical pain in my heart, will start crying just by attending to the physical sensation in my body."
– sagieday
Help Yourself
"I've always described it as having a shadow fixed to your brain which fuels things like indecision and negativity. You can do things to temporarily help but you can't truly shift it. Previous normality is forgotten. But it's amazing how much you can mask it."
"I found I didn't realise how bad I was until I started to get better"
"For anyone suffering with depression. Please, please speak to someone. Best thing I ever did"
– DavosLostFingers
Depression isn't something you can just deal with or get over. Learning to cope is not easy. However, as Redditor DavosLostFingers pointed out, talking to someone can literally save your life.
If you or anyone you know is struggling with depression, contact the American Psychological Association by phone at 800.374.2721 or 202.336.5500.
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