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People Describe Their Creepiest Childhood Paranormal Experiences

People Describe Their Creepiest Childhood Paranormal Experiences
Image by PhotoVision from Pixabay

Years ago, I used to live in a house that was built in the early 1900s. There's something about old houses that can be a bit creepy. Every creak and every groan––especially at night––sounds unnerving, as if there is something out there... watching... and waiting. I even swear I saw a ghost a couple of times (I think he was, given how he appeared, a murder victim of some sort) but I put it out of my head for years. So of course I'm rehashing that fear while getting paid to write silly articles on the internet. What can I say? It's a living.

People revisited the specters of their childhood after Redditor redditor_pro88 asked the online community,

"What paranormal things did you experience during your childhood?"

"From the moment we moved to the house..."

"My house growing up was built in the 1920s. While I can think of several things that can be explained by other things such as sleep paralysis, childlike imagination, creaky pipes, and bad wiring, there's some things that have left me and my family members unsettled. I generally think most hauntings can be explained by natural phenomena and I'm happy to think this could be the case too.

From the moment we moved to the house (I was 6) I absolutely hated my closet. I would cry if my parents didn't close it at night. This fear never went away even when I was a teenager, I always had to have it closed or covered up. I can't explain exactly how genuinely terrifying this feeling was but i always felt watched. My whole family was creeped out by that closet too and generally avoided it.

The upstairs was small and had a landing surrounded by our 3 bedrooms and the bathroom. I would wake up with this oddly unsettled feeling and walk to the landing and stair down into the darkness of the stairs, which was odd as normally if I had to go to the bathroom I would sprint there and back. A few times I would find my brother already standing there but looking up at our attic door instead and I'd have a heart attack.

The weirdest for me was the several times someone in my family heard a voice that sounded like one of us but we weren't there. There were at least two times my dad came into my room annoyed at me for waking him up when I was deep asleep and completely tangled in my bedsheets. He told me that I tapped him hard on the shoulder and very clearly told him to get up and that I needed help but when he opened his eyes I wasn't there and he had to search for me. My brother told me about times he heard me talking in a room but when he checked I wasn't even upstairs. It still gives me chills to think about it.

There were also times I clearly heard the door open and my mom come home and call my brother and me but when we got downstairs no one was home. It would be really odd and we'd both definitely heard it, even with headphones in. Sometimes we'd leave the house because we'd be so freaked out by it.

There are other odd stories of things going completely missing and us finding them odd places months later but I've always just put that down as forgetting where we put it or our cats hiding things. Some of my friends refused to come over after sleeping the night but they wouldn't tell me anything other than the place really creeped them out."

uhhhh234

Your friends refused to sleep over?

Time to exorcise the house.

"I searched that night before bed..."

"I was about 9 years old, playing with some Star Trek action figures in my bedroom (yes, I was a cool kid). My room was positioned directly above a guest room that was almost never used and I almost never entered. The furniture was outdated compared to the rest of the house, and it just had a creepy vibe. This will be relevant later.

I had a Spock action figure which broke apart easily. His shirt would snap into two pieces by pressing on the seam, and then all his limbs would fall off. He was easy to repair, so I took him apart often. He'd be used for body parts if I wanted to pretend someone had been killed by an alien.

One day just as I had set up a decidedly gruesome Star Trek scene, my mom called me down for dinner. When I came back upstairs after eating, I noticed that Spock was gone. Just him, though. All the other action figures were still in a little circle exactly as I left them.

I searched that night before bed, thinking my younger brother (my only sibling, who was 2 years old at the time) may have somehow gotten into my room and moved my stuff. It had never happened before, but it was all I could think of. The whole family was at dinner and there was no chance for anyone to go upstairs and move anything.

The next morning, I searched the house for Spock. Nothing. Not put away, not in my brother's room, not in the living room. It was baffling. As a last-ditch effort, I decided to check the guest room. The room looked untouched, as usual. Except for one thing: a dismantled Spock action figure, in the exact same position as I had left it in my room the night prior, directly below where I had been playing with him in my bedroom.

I asked my mom and dad. They claimed to know nothing about it. My younger brother could not have made it down the stairs, and also would not have been able to make the same Spock pile that I had made the previous night. It was as if my toy had just translated a few feet in the z-direction, right through the floor.

I still don't have an explanation."

RealHot_Steel

And you won't get one.

I feel like this could be a "Monkey's Paw" scenario, and I'm here for it.

"My mother told me to visit her friend..."

"My mother took me to visit her friend when I was 8 years old. This friend lived alone in an old house. I was exploring the house and went up the stairs where all the bedrooms were. As I got to the top of the stairs I looked to the far end of the hall and saw an old man standing there. He saw me but he was looking through me (difficult to describe). I knew instantly that something wasn't right because the lower half of his body was not really defined. I raced down the stairs to tell my mother and the friend told her that yes, this is the ghost of the house and he is harmless. I have never forgotten the creepy feeling that I had."

otoph

Harmless, huh?

Are you sure they weren't just saying that?

"When I was 11..."

"When I was 11, I was staying with some friends at their cabin deep in the woods (in the middle of rural NOWHERE, like literally not another house for miles). We were playing soccer and my friend yelled and pointed to the trees behind the yard, and we all saw a man standing there in a dirty brown shirt and jeans, who walked towards us and vanished behind a tree. We screamed for their dad and he came running out to see what was wrong and told us to go inside while he looked around.

He found nothing, but we didn't wanna go outside and play again. Later that night we had pretty much calmed down and were watching TV in their living room (which had big glass sliding doors facing the forest) when their dog started growling and barking at something outside the glass doors. He hadn't acted like this before, so we called their dad again and he went outside through the doors and found nothing again, but the dog wouldn't stop barking until a few minutes later."

Philosapphical

You see?

This is why I won't go into the woods.

I've seen enough horror films to know that's a terrible idea.

"I woke up..."

"I woke up and saw a shadow man run then jump at me while I was in bed. I was so struck with fear I was unable to move but he disappeared right before he landed. The memory was so terrifying I still remember it nearly 30 years later."

BW_Bird

I think that's what some people might call a sleep paralysis demon.

Have seen a couple myself. It's not fun.

"But for whatever reason..."

"My great-aunt had a house that was built in 1792. There was an upstairs room that had been made into a sort of playroom for us kids. It was very small, with a sloping ceiling.

Now, this could just have been a kiddo's imagination or a bad dream I had as a child, but I remember before it being a playroom that it was a dying man's room. I remember where his bed was and what he looked like. He was suffering. I could never get comfortable in that room, and I couldn't tolerate more than a few minutes in there alone.

I should add that I'm not a person who believes in the supernatural. I'm open to the possibility, but I've never encountered definitive proof. My husband, who has had paranormal experiences, has had to take me out of places that he thinks are haunted, that's how immune I am to that sort of thing. In supposedly haunted hotels, I sometimes wander the hallways late at night hoping I'll find something to make me believe.

But for whatever reason, I felt something was deeply wrong about that room in my great-aunt's house, and I avoided it unless there was something specific I could duck in quickly and get."

nakedonmygoat

"When I was growing up..."

"When I was growing up I lived in a century home, it was about 115 years old at the time. The house many years back was a funeral showing home, they would hold ceremonies and their viewings. This always creeped me out and may have gotten my imagination running but sometimes I still wonder.

There were a servant's quarters with a separate staircase to the kitchen, oftentimes we would hear footsteps and go check to find nothing there.

Multiple times we would hear the tv upstairs in the servant bedroom connected to the stairs turn on and then off if we went up to the room. It became my parent's room/the master bedroom when we lived there.

A few of my mom's friends told us stories of seeing an old lady in the closet of my sister's room (next to mine) when they stayed over and slept in that bedroom.

My youngest sister would frequently have night terrors and sit up eyes wide open screaming or sulking. Freaked me out big time.

My personal worst experience was what I now believe to have been sleep paralysis. I always slept with a hall light on and my bedroom door open. One night I "woke" up and saw my bedroom door shut slowly as my closet door opened. As this happened a figure of a woman walked to me and sat on my chest staring at me. I tried screaming/calling for my mom but I couldn't get words to vocalize, felt like a whisper/pressure. Eventually, I was able to turn over, and immediately when I did I woke up again and was not rolled over but on my back. The door to the closet was shut and my bedroom door open.

Overall I am personally a nonbeliever and could probably rationalize these experiences/chalk it up to being an imaginative kid. But they still stick with me and make me curious. I haven't experienced anything like this since moving from there. The bottom line is old houses with history are creepy, especially for a child!"

techtonic69

"I saw her when I opened my eyes..."

"The three-headed shadow at the foot of my bed that would move to tuck me in. I saw her when I opened my eyes some nights. It shouldn't have been, I called it a "shouldn't be," but I was never really in danger. I also knew each head was meant to represent my grandmother and two grand aunts but they were not them. They were something else."

mercuryxwaxing

It's funny how our dreams can tell us things without explciitly voicing them out loud.

"I have always insisted..."

"I have always insisted that the house I lived in until I was 8 is creepy. It was only a year or two ago that my family casually mentioned that it was built where a Victorian maternity ward used to be. So, it's mildly possible that ghost babies haunted me."

NiamhHA

So... still want to purchase that creepy house that the locals say was built atop an old Native American burial ground? Still want to go spend time in that cabin in the woods near the site of all those murders?

You're braver than I. But if you do survive a night (or two) be sure to report back. You're bound to have seen something.

Have some stories of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!


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People Who Wouldn't Quit Their Job If They Won The Lottery Explain What They Do

Reddit user BITE_AU_CHOCOLAT asked: 'People who wouldn't quit their job even if you won the lottery, what's your job?'

lottery tickets
Erik Mclean on Unsplash

A lot of workers daydream about some day winning the lottery and being able to say goodbye to their job.

Far too many workers are unhappy with their job duties, workplace dynamics or company culture.

But with a taste for luxuries like housing and food, they keep plugging away, year after year.

However not everyone feels that way about their job.

So what are these compelling careers?

Keep reading... Show less
Therapist talking during session
Photo by Mark Williams on Unsplash

Some people stand firmly stand behind their beliefs that everyone would benefit from therapy and that therapy is life-changing.

It's because of the totally life-changing truth bombs their therapist had dropped during their sessions.

Curious, Redditor anonymiss0018 asked:

"What is a little bombshell your therapist dropped in one of your sessions that completely changed your outlook?"

Communication Issues

"'If you don’t have these problems with any other person in your life, why do you think you’re the problematic person in this one?'"

- maggiebear

"I love this. I have a 'friend' who I always seem to run into misunderstandings with. Every time we had a conversation, it somehow turned into a debate even if it was me talking about my day. The conversations were never easy."

"I always evaluate myself first and take into consideration his critiques. He was very good at convincing me that I was contradicting myself or wasn't good at communicating my thoughts."

"I NEVER had this issue with ANYONE else in my life. I kept trying to figure out where the miscommunication was coming from. In the end, I just minimized contact and now I don't run into this issue."

- chobani_yo

"I read this quote somewhere once (and probably have it a bit wrong): 'It's a waste of time arguing with someone who is determined to misunderstand you.'"

- Reddit

Emotional Regulation

"'You can’t control your emotions, but you can control what you do with them.'"

"At the time, I was a young adult who had learned zero healthy emotional regulation skills (only suppression and shaming) growing up, so this blew my mind."

- lil_mermaid

Tough Relationships

"'It sounds to me like you are trying to convince yourself to stay with your girlfriend. I'm not so sure it should be so difficult.'"

"At the time he said this, I remember it was like he said, 'The earth is flat.' I thought he was crazy when he suggested relationships don't need to be difficult. But eventually, I started to realize I was trying to change myself to stay with this person rather than just being who I am."

"It took me three more months to finally break up with her but from that day on, I vowed to never again abandon myself just to be with someone I had convinced myself was better than me."

- metric88

High-Stress Situation

"I was at a high-stress time, and I asked her how people live like this."

"She replied, 'Oftentimes they have cardiac events.' She said it as an urging to care for myself as much as possible."

- KittenGr8r

The End of Alcohol

"I was struggling with my alcoholism, and we were discussing how I had been cutting back."

"She asked what I would consider success, with regard to my drinking."

"I said I wanted to get to a point where it wasn't interfering with my daily life. I wanted to just be able to have a glass of wine at holiday dinners or family gatherings."

"She simply asked me why. Why was it important for me to drink at those times?"

"It was as if she'd turned on a light. Alcohol had always been a key ingredient in every family function, for my entire life. When I smell bourbon, I think of my uncle. When I smell vermouth, I think of my dad. Alcohol ran through almost every happy childhood memory."

"But, even more than that, I was very afraid of the explanation I'd have to give when family and friends asked why I wasn't having a drink. I had tried to quit before but failed. What if I admitted my problem, only to fall off the wagon?"

"When she asked why I didn't want to completely quit, it was the first time I saw that last part of the big picture. I'd be willing to drink myself to death in order to avoid being scrutinized, or judged for possible future failures."

"That was the day I quit. I've been sober since May 6th, 2017. 2,407 days."

- sophies_wish

Acceptance vs. Enjoyment

"'Accepting something doesn’t mean you have to like it.'"

"That took away a lot of my inner conflicts about situations because I could accept a situation without expending energy internally fighting against the injustice of it."

- alibelloc

Emotionally Immature Parents

"You are not responsible for your parents' emotional wellbeing. They are independent adults who have been on this earth for many more years than you."

- SmokedPears

Not So Lazy

"'Why do you think you're lazy?' Then she listed off all the things she knows I'm doing for my family, my job, and my life."

"It kind of blew my mind when I struggled to come up with an example."

"She also described family dysfunction as water. Some families are messed up in a way that everyone can see the huge waves across the surface. Others are better at hiding it, but there's still a riptide that you can't see unless you're also in the water."

"It made me realize that trying to keep the surface from ever rippling doesn't erase what is happening underneath."

- flybyknight665

The Harm in People-Pleasing

"'Why do you make people more comfortable when you are uncomfortable?' when talking about people pleasing and fawning."

- ERsandwich

Agree to Disagree

"'Stop trying to get everyone to agree. When you need everyone to agree, the least agreeable person has all the power.'"

This really changed my outlook on planning family events."

- freef

Grieve and Start Anew

"For context, I had a major TBI (traumatic brain injury), seizures, strokes, and all around not a fun brain time when I was 28."

"They said, 'You have to grieve the loss of yourself.'"

"Most people wanted me to go back to how I was. The f**ked up truth is that part of my brain is dead. The person everyone (including myself) knew died. I needed to grieve the loss of myself."

- squeaktoy_la

Multifaceted Identity

"They told me that my job and career is just a way to make money; it's not my life or identity. That took a lot of pressure off me."

- unfairpegasus

Breaking the Cycle

"They validated me."

"'You always talk about not wanting to do to your daughters what your mom did to you. You worry about it so much in every interaction you have ever had with them."

"But your children are 19 and 21 now. They are happy and healthy and they trust you because you’ve never abused them in any way. So I just want to validate for you that you really have broken that cycle of violence."

"You did that. And you should be proud of it. I’m proud of you for it.'"

- puppsmcgee74

The Grieving Process

"I was constantly bringing up how I felt like a completely different person after my mom died... like there was a marked difference between before and after her death."

"But once, she was asking about my hobbies, I got really into describing all the things I loved to do or at least used to do before I got into a deep depression."

"She was like, 'Wow, you seem very passionate.'"

"And I just sat there like, 'Well, I mean, I can't change what I like to do, they're still fun to do.'"

"And it's like she knew when to take a step back, because it was like, wow, I may be super depressed about my mom passing, but I'm still me. I'm still my passions and those don't go away."

"I don't know, maybe it only makes sense to be, but it really started getting me back on track."

- Hannibal680

Sharing the Load

"I've never really had friends. I've had colleagues and classmates and housemates and people who have hung out with me, but I never really felt close to any of them."

"And I did that thing you see on here sometimes; I stopped reaching out to see if I would be reached out to, and I wasn't, which I took as confirmation that they didn't really want me around, or at the very least, that they wouldn't mind my absence."

"I was talking to my therapist about people I'd been close to in college, and she told me to pick one and talk about him. So I did. After I shared some basic stuff like his name and his major etc., and a couple of anecdotes, she asked me what else I knew about him."

"And I couldn't answer. It wasn't really a broadly applicable bombshell, but she said, 'What else?' and I started crying because I realized that for as simple as the question was, my inability to answer spoke volumes."

"I've never had good friends because I've never been a good friend. I'm withdrawn and reserved and I always made others do the work to drag me out, without ever extending my own friendship in a meaningful way in return. If I wanted to have meaningful relationships with other people, I would have to build them."

"I'm still working on this, but I'm trying to make more offers and extend more friendliness to others in my daily life."

- Backupusername

The discoveries in this thread were incredibly touching and profound; it's no wonder these were lasting concepts for these Redditors.

It's important to keep ourselves open to inspiration and insights from others, as we have no idea how their experiences could help us, or how we could help them.

Aerial view of a church in a small town
Sander Weeteling/Unsplash

There's something comforting about living in a small town.

It's characterized by close communities where neighbors know each other by name and there is an abundance of kindness extended to others.

Gift-giving is a commonality, as is the sharing of recipes, and people going out of their way to help each other in a time of need.

The pace of living in small towns is also a striking contradiction to city life, where crowds of people go about their busy lives without much interaction.

Curious to hear more examples of what small town living is like, Redditor official_biz asked:

"What's the most 'small town' thing you've witnessed?"

These are positive examples of a tight-knit community.

Live Updates

"We have a village Facebook page. Every time the ice cream man drives into the village, the entire page goes ballistic. People send live updates of where the van is and which direction he's heading. The ice cream man has started accepting DMs so he knows which streets to go down."

– PyrrhuraMolinae

Brush With The Law

"I’m from a town of less than 2,000 people. When I worked at the grocery store there people would often drop off stuff for my family members because they didn’t want to drive all the way down to our house. I no longer live there but recently got a call from my daughter. She had been stopped for speeding and handed over her license and insurance which happens to be in my mother’s name. The officer goes 'Hey, you’re Donnie’s granddaughter! I ain’t gonna write you a ticket but I’m telling Donnie when I see him tomorrow cause we’re going fishing.' She replied 'I think I’d rather have the ticket.'”

- Reddit

Roadside Catchup

"The traffic on the 'main street' of my town is so sparse, two drivers going opposite directions can stop and talk to each other for a few minutes without causing any problem."

– anon

When things go wrong, people take notice without incident.

Bank Robbery

"A guy robbed a bank and everyone knew immediately who he was and the teller got mad at him."

– AlexRyang

"A local bank was robbed and one of the tellers told the police to bring her a yearbook from about ten years earlier and she would be able to point the robber out. He had been in the grade before hers in school."

– Strict_Condition_632

Wise Woman

"When I worked at the bank in town there was an older lady that had worked there through 5 mergers."

"She knew everyone, there was a young guy yelling at me one day. She walked out of the back and he immediately quieted. She went off about telling his grandmother that he was treating young women like sh*t. She also said that if he didn’t straighten up not one girl in town would ever marry him she would make sure of it."

– ilurvekittens

Intoxicated Local

"Town drunk was paralyzed and used a motorized wheelchair to get around. I was driving home one Saturday night and said town drunk was passed out in his wheelchair doing circles almost directly in the town square. Had to call his brother who came and picked him up on a rollback truck. Strapped him down and drove off into the cold dark night."

– DoodooExplosion

Grazing Over To The Bar

"In my former small town, there was an older guy who'd lost his license after getting a few DUIs. Every day, he would ride his John Deere lawnmower to the corner bar around 3PM and sit around watching TV and sipping his beer well into the night. Then he'd head the couple miles back home on his mower. He even had a little canvass shell he put on when it rained or got too cold."

– brown_pleated_slacks

It's not surprising how small town people behave differently than those who are from metropolitan areas.

Welcoming Committee

"I lived in a small town. When I moved there, people would ask, 'Whose house did you buy?'"

–MoonieNine

"Move to a small town. 30 years later, you are still the new guy."

– impiousdrifter

"I lived in a small town for most of my childhood but I wasn't "from there" because my grandparents weren't from there."

– raisinghellwithtrees

"Worked with an older guy, relative of the owner of the business, he was 73. I asked him if he was a local, he said 'no his parents moved here when he was two.'"

– realneil

A Busy Day

"Lived in a town of about 5,000: A woman walked into the DMV on a Friday, saw that there were 3 people ahead of her and left to come back another time when they weren't so busy."

– KenmoreToast

Who Let The Dogs Out?

"My dogs got out while i was working. the police called my niece's elementary school (she was a 5th grader) to get her to round them up and take them back home."

– mediocrelpn

"There was a small kennel behind the police station for runaways. They called us saying they had our dog, and moments later our dog showed up home. He broke out of jail."

– Worried_Place_917

While life in a small town sounds appealing, I don't know if I can ever live in one.

I'm so used to life in big cities, I think it would be quite unnerving to adjust in a neighborhood where everyone literally knows your business.

I would be paranoid.

And I'm sure the same could be said of life in the big city.

Would you consider making the switch to life in a different setting?

Two women laughing
Photo by Dave George on Unsplash

Every now and then, a friend of ours might say something, or we might overhear a complete stranger say something that makes us stop in our tracks.

More often than not, what we can't believe we just heard is something so ridiculous, we can't help but put the person who said it in their place.

Other times, however, what we just heard might have stunned us silent because of how shockingly clever it was.

Resulting in our not wanting to scold or yell at someone, but rather give them a handshake.

Redditor SubmergingOriginal was curious to hear the sharpest and wittiest things they've ever heard, from friends and strangers alike, leading them to ask:

"Enough with the dumbest; what is the wittiest thing you've ever heard someone say?"

Don't Give Me So Much Credit...

'I was on a team at work that was on a project working insane overtime."

"One night after an 80-90 hour week, we were all sitting around the table trying to finish up so we could go home."

"Around 11, my buddy's wife called, dubious about the hours he'd been keeping."

"We heard her through the line - 'are you cheating on me?'"

"Exasperated, he looked at our boss, then replied 'honey, if I was cheating on you, I would have been home by now'."- lionbatcher

Eternal Optimism...

"Asked a blind guy if he'd been blind his whole life."

"He said 'Not yet'."- Feeling_Mode_6465

Free time Isn't The Only Thing He Has On His Hands...

"My brother got a vasectomy and when the doctor was releasing him and giving him instructions (with the nurse listening in), one of the orders was to 'come back and have a follow-up appointment after you’ve ejaculated 30 times'.”

"Without missing a beat my brother asked 'what time do you open tomorrow?'”

"The nurse couldn’t keep it together after hearing that."- UtahUtopia

Awkward Season 8 GIF by The Office Giphy

Double Whammy!

"My pal uses the phrase 'he doesn’t look strong enough to carry information' and it cracks me up every time."

"Calling someone stupid and weak in one fell swoop."- JennyW93

Can't Hide Your DNA...

'Whenever I jokingly insult my mum, she says 'that must be where you get it from'."

"She cracked the code."

"I can never offend her without offending myself."- JennyW93

Self-Sufficient!

"My brother was a line cook at a New Orleans restaurant."

"My mom was in town, staying at a fancy hotel, and he stopped by after work, still wearing his kitchen whites."

"He was reading a newspaper in the lobby waiting for her to come down when the shocked lobby manager sputtered at him, 'MAY I HELP YOU!?!?'

"He answered, 'thanks, but I know how to read',” and went back to his paper."- jobrody

Morph Current Affairs GIF by Aardman Animations Giphy

A Miracle!

"My brother-in-law’s comment."

"The entire family went out for my mother’s 80th birthday and after the meal we all went to a local park, largely occupied by the elderly, to rest."

"My mother needed crutches at this point, and they were resting against her bench."

"My 10-year-old niece, who looked like every starving waif image from Dickens, grabbed the crutches and started hobbling round the park."

"All the OAPs were following her progress with looks of pity until my brother ran up behind her, and kicked away the crutches."

"There was an audible gasp from round the park and then my niece picked the crutches back up and started chasing my brother, clearly intending to hit him."

"In the confused silence my brother-in-law’s voice rang out 'Praise be! She can walk again!'"

"We still think this was the highlight of the birthday celebrations."- DdraigGwyn

Still Legal, Whichever Way You Cut It...

"I picked up my pleasantly tipsy boyfriend from a nightclub."

"We were stopped by the Police for a random breath test."

"They asked me my age, and I said, 33."

"My bf blurted out '33? You told me you were 22'."

"Police just laughed and let me go."- Aggravating-Corgi379

Music Video Police GIF by Andrew W. K. Giphy

A Bit Too On The Nose?

"Business law class in college years ago, talking about the issues that black Americans had before the Civil Rights."

"Amendment, trying to travel through the south with the discrimination so rampant, trying to find restaurants to serve them and decent lodgings."

"My instructor was posing a hypothetical: 'So you pull up out front of this place, you're exhausted from driving for hours, and you see the sign out front says 'Ku Klux Klan Motel'."

"'What would you expect to find there?'"

"Without missing a beat, from the back of the room came this gem: "'Extra sheets in every room?'"- NedsAtomicDB

Not Yet, Anyway...

"I was working with my friend and his dad."

"My friend (26) heard an ice cream truck near where we were working."

"He asked his dad if he could have a couple dollars."

"His dad asked, 'what for?'"

"My friend told his dad that there was an ice cream truck in the neighborhood, and that they were playing music."

"My friends dad told him "'They don't charge anything to listen to the music'."- tatersalad1234567890

Words Escape You In The Literal "Heat" Of The Moment...

"A friend of mine is a teacher and her husband is known for his wit."

"She told this story to him:"

"One day at school a kid took the hall pass and returned reeking like smoke."

"She asked the kid if he’d been smoking and he denied it over and over."

"She was about to send him to the office when she noticed smoke coming from somewhere."

"She told the kid and he realized that he didn’t put his cig out completely and it was burning in his pants pocket."

"The kid noticed and frantically tried to put it out and someone finally poured water on it."

"Her husband sat listening to this with a weird look on his face."

"She asked him what was wrong."

“'What’s wrong???'"

"'This was probably the only chance you’ll have in your life to say literally, ‘liar,liar, pants on fire’ and you missed your chance'."- Luder714

On Fire No GIF by PEEKASSO Giphy

Amazing What You Might Say A Few Drinks In...

"When I went to a renaissance faire once, I went to a beer tent and ordered a Newcastle Brown Ale (seemed the most fitting for the surroundings)."

"The beer wench, without skipping a beat, said, 'Everyone wants a Newcastle - no one wants to remodel!'"- jayhof52

Read The Room People!

"My dad wiped out when skiing down a mountain and lost a ski."

"After a few minutes of hunting for it, he gives up, slings the one remaining ski over a shoulder and starts walking down the mountain in his ski boots."

"About half-way down, another skier stops and goes 'Gee! Did you lose a ski?'"

"My dad instantly replied 'No, I was out for a walk and found one!'"- PeterJoAl

There's a reason your mother always told you to "use your words".

As clever remarks can have a much more lasting effect on people than a push or shove.