They say never judge a book by its cover, but... like ... isn't that what cover art and descriptions are literally for?
To allow you to judge that book by its cover?
Reddit user crazythumper7 asked :
"What can someone put on their car that makes you know immediately that they’re a douchebag?"
And listen, I know what we were all told, but adding stuff to your car is communicating extra data and what is the purpose of data if not to analyze?
And isn't judgment part of analysis?
And don't people put stuff on their cars like this???
Calvin's Degrading Competitors
"A 'Calvin pissing on rival brand's logo' sticker."
- GrumpyCatStevens
"I once saw a ford with Calvin pissing on a Chevy sticker pull up next to a Chevy with a Calvin pissing on a ford sticker at a stop light."
"I was hoping to see some drama but nothing happened."
- lobster-overrun
"Wow, an actual pissing contest between truck guys."
- SpaceCowboy58
"This is the perfect metaphor for American politics. 2 guys, more or less the same, forced into competing identities by corporate interests which want nothing more than to take their money.
- Jasper455
"Do people actually identify that closely with car companies?"
- LeoMarius
"Unfortunately, yes."
- lobster-overrun
"C'mon guys, show dominance."
- Suibian_ni
Truck Testies
"Truck Nuts"
- TheNatanist
"I saw truck nuts on a smart car one time and thought it was the one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen 😂 I’ll make an exception for that person. Otherwise, you’re right."
- archerjones
"If it makes you feel better I had a couple truck nuts when I was an edgy teenager and they were routinely cut off. In hindsight, I think those people were doing me a favor."
- CaptainAwesome06
"One of my friends made a bicycle version, it’s literally two large hardware nuts, glued to a bicycle chain, hung from the back of the bike saddle"
- ChimpskyBRC
"There’s a guy at work that has a blue pair. Really? You can pick any colour and you pick BLUE??"
- Silverslugger24
Truly Hated
"Locally hated"
- Accomplished_Cod_891
"Yeah, only because he hasn't gone anywhere else yet."
- The_Observatory_
"And nobody knows them anyways"
- MichigaCur
"Not until Mom starts charging rent, anyway."
- Raaazzle
"Not sure which is worse. Either they are actually hated enough for everybody in their city to know who they are and feel the same, or they're wrong and aspire to be hated."
- Phantereal
"Or the way they are proud to be hated."
- CommercialCream402
i hate you middle finger GIF
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Advertising
"Those big stickers on their windshield that has their Instagram/ name in cursive"
- Zealousideal_Bet6888
"Lol I saw one of those. But it was a dog’s Instagram and the dog was in passenger side waving out the window while wearing sunglasses and some gold chains."
- jamie_maxx
"That ain't a dog, that's a Dawg"
- Pyr02006
Grilled Meat
"A guy at my work has a penis shaped piece of metal bolted to the front grill on his civic."
"Sad thing is, I guessed the guy who drives it by his appearance."
- shambosley
"I was gonna say truck nuts, but I think that takes it."
- [Reddit]
More Meat
"I’ll one up you."
"Girl at my work has a dildo has her shift knob."
"I mean respect because she drives a manual, she’s still kind of a douchebag though."
- ali693
Play On Words
“ 'Dodge the dad, Ram the daughter'…. On a Dodge Ram. Good stuff."
- jazzy-j-face
"Or "If you can't dodge 'em, ram 'em". Thank you for giving me warning to get as far from you on the road as possible."
- shagthedance
"I saw an OnlyRams decal the other day, which was especially funny because I had recently read another r/askreddit thread about what kind of vehicles douchebags drive, and Ram was top of the list."
- Nailbomb85
"Ooooohhh. I love my Ram. Most truck for the money as they say. I certainly understand the stereotype tho."
- ss3006
"Sir I believe they say 'the most truck for your buck'."
- zipiddydooda
Ram GIF
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More Free Advertisement
"As a firearms enthusiast I can tell you that anyone who puts any gun related stickers on their car is either a douchebag, an idiot, or both."
"They're trying to look tough and are dumb enough to advertise that they have an expensive hobby, which makes them an immediate target for theft."
"My roommate does exactly this. Again, I love going to the range, I don't advertise it on my car."
- 2centSam
"Thank you! We have such an issue with people getting their vehicles broken into and it’s always, ALWAYS, one of two targets:"
"Dude left it unlocked"
"Dude has an NRA or pro-2A decal some shit like “Try and Take It!!” Plastered on the back window."
"May as well advertise that there’s a good chance an easy score is inside. And this is in the Midwest! You’d think folks would have more sense but 🤷🏼♂️ I dunno…all I know is sh*t like this is why I’m stuck waiting on my new Sig."
- Rusty_is_a_good_boy
"Is it even theft if they tell you to come and take it?"
- Conri
Looking Dumb Too
"Carolina squat....just, just why"
- DeousPascitCorvos
"I didn't know what this was and googled it. Man this is slaughter:"
"It involves lifting a truck's front end and dropping its rear, ostensibly to make it look like a race truck, but only resulting in a vehicle that scoots along like a dog scratching its butt"
- RowdyBunny18
"North Carolinian here, they actually just passed legislation banning this eyesore. Hopefully they get around to enforcing it too."
- GreatWhiteElk
"I had to Google this. Oh man that is the dumbest shot I’ve ever seen. I live in the Northeast and I’ve never seen that before."
- scumbagstaceysEx
The Irony
"Punisher with a thin blue line flag"
- spirit_the_scallion
"Completely ignores the number of cops the Punisher has killed over the years in comics."
- dameon5
"Or the reason why Frank Castle had to become The Punisher in the first place"
"(It was because of corrupt cops.)"
- [Reddit]
"Or the thin blue line flag + a gadsden flag. 'Don’t tread on ME, tread on those other people!!'."
- sluthulhu
"Second this"
- TexanInAlaska
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Shut Up!
"Those loud as hell muffler exhaust modifications on some piece of crap 4 cylinder you can hear from a half mile away. Usually combined with a comically oversized spoiler."
clawsinyourface
"Also known as Fart Cannons. Makes a Civic sound like a pissed-off lawn mower."
apetnameddingbat
"My daughter calls them 'Tootie cars.'"
cookiesndwichmonster
Hate Them
"Advertising for their MLM."
Miss-Kelli
"It’s always 'consultant.' I love how MLMs have co-opted business languages. To me, a 'consultant' is a highly knowledgeable person in a specific field who’s paid for their expertise (or at least, that’s how it should be). Nobody needs a consultant for shitty candles or essential oils of dubious quality."
jbp84
Bad Energy
"The monster energy logo. Where are they even getting all of them, I see it so often on every douche car, USUALLY trucks bigger than they need."
Aware_Bet
HAHA !!! My s**t head of an ex husband has this !!! He also has a Monster Energy Logo tatted on him 🙄. I need to add he did not have any monster tattoos or decals on his car when we were married. Only after. I didn’t even know he liked energy drinks that much till I saw that one time at a drop. Now it’s all making sense."
Huh??
"A big Tapout sticker."
theflesheatingmuffin
"Tapout is still popular?? Hahaha I thought the whole Affliction/Tapout ship sailed by 2015."
bawzdeepinyaa
"I feel really bad for Tapout as a brand though, they were one of the originals and worked their way up, sponsoring a whole bunch of up and comers. Good trio all around."
dactyif
Not Him
"My friend's neighbor drives a car with big photos of Alex Jones on it, like an advertisement car wrap. His lawn has like 10 infowars signs on it."
Reasonable-Point4891
"I have a personal rule. Whenever I see an Info Wars or Alex Jones sticker on a wall or sign in a public place, I peel it off. I would probably do the same thing to a car. I understand letting people believe what they want, but when those beliefs involve harassing the parents of murdered children, that's where I draw the line."
hectoByte
Not a Cop
"Those ugly a** decals all over their car that say crap like 'POLICE' and 'SHERIFF.' and they have those annoying a** lights on the top."
lkodl
"Worse is when the car is black-on-black with no light bar, making it almost impossible to tell it's a cop until you're right beside them. So you're a douchebag and you're trying to hide and catch more tickets to boost your paycheck. Cool, cool cool cool."
DrMaxwellEdison
Break the Bulbs
"Those freaking bright a** white/blue LED headlights. Crap should be illegal."
CustosEcheveria
"It's more to do with the type of headlight, projectors are made for HID bulbs and are legal because they cut off the beam to stop from blinding oncoming traffic."
"The issue is when people throw the bulbs in their old car with reflector style headlights, you blind everyone on the road. Im pretty sure this is illegal, how enforced though I don't know. The color is another issue, my HIDs were 4500K, nearly perfect white. People throw in 12000K bulbs for some reason and they can't see s**t because they are so blue, still bright for everyone else though."
brohd11
I have a theory...
"Literally any of those stickers that imply they will ride your a** or break check you for doing anything that annoys them."
Practical_Spinach513
"I have a theory that every single decal/sticker that isn’t business-related (regardless of what it says) someone puts on their car automatically increases their douche factor by 10%."
"I think most people are around 10% douchebags (myself included), so 1 or 2 stickers don’t really mean too much to me. It’s when you get into multiple stickers territory that I tend to count them to predict their douche factor. I found it’s a pretty good litmus for douchebaggery."
Debaser626
Yeah... we're all judging you.
When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
homer simpson episode 23 GIF
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
Disney World GIF
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.